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Kangaroo Jack (2003) [Full Movie] [Full Version]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:42Australia, the land down under, rugged, remote, inhospitable and dangerous, home to 20 million
00:00:53kangaroos, but there is one who is more elusive and clever than all the rest, and his name
00:01:01is Kangaroo Jack. But my story doesn't begin in Australia. It begins 20 years ago, halfway around
00:01:09the world, on a beach in Brooklyn. That's me, Charlie Carbone. Three things happened on this day that
00:01:18would change my life. First was that my mom met Sal. She hadn't dated much since dad died, but I
00:01:25could
00:01:25tell right away she was interested. Why shouldn't she be? Sal Maggio was a respected member of the
00:01:31community. Well, feared and respected. Well, feared. And that's Frankie Lombardo, fresh out of Juvenile
00:01:39Hall, where they named a wing after him. Sal was grooming Frankie to take over the family business,
00:01:45a family I was about to become a part of. The second thing that happened was that I met Louis
00:01:53Booker.
00:01:58Don't tell me. You got, uh, 75 cents in your bag pocket. You're wrong. It's a Captain Amazing
00:02:04Compass. Whoa! How much you want for it? It's not for sale. No way. Sorry. Want to play some ball?
00:02:11Nah, you play ball. I gotta check every square inch of this beach if I'm gonna make my car payment.
00:02:16You've got a car. No, but I will. Now, step aside. My uncle only rented me this metal detector for
00:02:22the day.
00:02:22And the third... Hey, kid. Most important thing that happened that day...
00:02:27Go long. ...was that I went out for a 20-yard pass.
00:02:31Unfortunately, there was only 15 yards worth of beach.
00:02:35And a really strong undertow. And I couldn't swim.
00:02:45Hey, kid! You lost her!
00:02:53Hey! Somebody help! I think there's a bitch out and I'll... I'll save you!
00:02:59No!
00:03:01Hey!
00:03:09That one moment changed my life.
00:03:12Because in all the years that followed, Lewis Booker was a lot better at getting me into trouble than getting
00:03:17me out.
00:03:18A dreamer in search of treasure who only found bottle caps.
00:03:22On that fateful day, Lewis saved my life.
00:03:24You see this guy?
00:03:26And I never forgot.
00:03:27He just saved your life.
00:03:28He wouldn't let me.
00:03:31And now, it's 20 years later.
00:03:33My new stepfather, Sal, set me up in my own business.
00:03:36A beauty salon.
00:03:37He did it for my mother.
00:03:39Of course, his goons come in every week and take 80% of the profits.
00:03:43That he did for himself.
00:03:45Hey!
00:03:45Ta-bon!
00:03:47And Lewis, the guy who saved my life, is now my closest friend.
00:03:51He thinks I can do a lot better than this, but he also thinks he looks like Denzel Washington.
00:03:56Uh, Toots, I was kind of hoping maybe you could ask Sal if I could keep a little lecture this
00:03:59week.
00:04:00You know, I'd love to make some improvements on the place.
00:04:02Yeah. You want to make improvements?
00:04:04Improve what's in this bag next week.
00:04:06Ugh.
00:04:08Look, man, I need a favor.
00:04:09I just got this job delivering TVs, but my partner got sick.
00:04:12He had one of those microwave chimichangas, man, so...
00:04:14Lewis, why do all your stories start off this way?
00:04:16So, I need your help.
00:04:17If I don't get these TVs off the truck, man, I don't get paid.
00:04:21This sounds illegal.
00:04:22Oh, no, no, no, Charlie, this is totally legit, man.
00:04:25I know the guy.
00:04:26Oh, yeah, just like you knew the guy who asked you to drive his dogs up from Florida.
00:04:29You remember him?
00:04:30Oh, so I'm supposed to know that a bunch of greyhounds were being used to smuggle diamonds?
00:04:36Look, man, I need your help on this one, all right?
00:04:38Two hours tops, that's all I need.
00:04:40This is really important for me.
00:04:42Lewis, you have a job.
00:04:44You call working in my uncle's meat market a job, Charlie?
00:04:47I sweep up cow guts and pig snouts all day, man.
00:04:50I need a job where I'm treated like a man, where I get some respect.
00:04:53Ain't that what Aretha said?
00:04:54R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
00:04:55Well, then, delivering TVs is definitely the answer.
00:04:59You're dying here, man.
00:05:00I need your help.
00:05:03Lewis, I'm busy here.
00:05:04Can't you see I'm busy?
00:05:05I was busy that day 20 years ago on the beach, too, man.
00:05:09But that stopped me from saving the skinny little white kid from failing and serving.
00:05:12No, Charlie, you know, I stopped what I was doing.
00:05:13I just grabbed my stuff and I jumped in and I saved this poor little white kid.
00:05:16Then nobody would get out and save him.
00:05:18Let's go.
00:05:18So I just jumped up and saved him myself.
00:05:20You're too easy.
00:05:23Hey there, Waffles.
00:05:25Got a kiss for your Uncle Charlie?
00:05:28Come on, man.
00:05:28What's wrong?
00:05:30It's just so frustrating.
00:05:31You have no idea how difficult it is to get anywhere when Sal Maggio is your stepfather.
00:05:34Hey, Sal bought you the beauty salon, didn't he?
00:05:36He barely lets me keep enough to stay alive.
00:05:38Hey, look.
00:05:39If Sal Maggio was my stepdaddy, you know what I'd be doing right now?
00:05:43Come on, Charlie.
00:05:44Break it down with me.
00:05:45Snake it.
00:05:46Come on, snake it.
00:05:47Whoa!
00:05:49It'd be a party, Charlie.
00:05:50It'd be a party.
00:05:52Pull over to the curb.
00:05:54Lewis?
00:05:54What?
00:05:55Whose truck is this?
00:05:56That I can't be certain of.
00:05:57It came with the TV.
00:05:58This is a stolen vehicle.
00:06:00Apparently, this is a stolen vehicle.
00:06:02Oh, my God.
00:06:03Pull over to the curb.
00:06:04Pull over to the curb.
00:06:09Lewis, pull the truck over.
00:06:10Just tell him the truth.
00:06:11Pull the truck over.
00:06:12Charlie, I can't pull the truck over, man.
00:06:13I'm still on probation from that Greyhound thing.
00:06:16Come on, Lewis.
00:06:18Watch out.
00:06:19Watch out.
00:06:19Here we go.
00:06:20Okay.
00:06:20You're bringing so many laws right now.
00:06:22Lewis, we go to jail.
00:06:23I'm going to tell everybody you're a hairdresser.
00:06:26Sidewalk, Lewis.
00:06:27Sidewalk.
00:06:29Look out.
00:06:29Are you crazy?
00:06:31Sorry.
00:06:31Excuse me.
00:06:32Red line.
00:06:33Ah!
00:06:39Oh!
00:06:40Oh!
00:06:40Oh!
00:06:40Oh!
00:06:40Oh!
00:06:40Oh!
00:06:41Oh!
00:06:42Oh!
00:06:46That wasn't my fault!
00:06:50That was my fault!
00:06:52Aye!
00:06:53Oh!
00:06:54Oh!
00:07:00What the hell was that?
00:07:03Oh!
00:07:03Oh!
00:07:05Oh!
00:07:07Yeah!
00:07:08Oh!
00:07:08Oh!
00:07:09Yeah!
00:07:10Lucky jacket. Oh, what a relief. I forgot you were wearing your lucky jacket
00:07:24Bigger problem
00:07:48I think the dog just peed on my leg. No, I think I peed on here
00:07:55Just pull the truck over. I am getting out. You can't bail on me now, man
00:07:59Look, I gotta stash these TVs until the heat cools down. Come on. We got six TVs left
00:08:05Five
00:08:10Is that Charlie? Tommy? What are you guys doing here? Your father didn't say you was coming
00:08:16Sal? Yeah, this is his warehouse. I didn't know. You didn't know. I didn't know
00:08:25You brought the heat here, Charlie. Are you crazy? I didn't know, Tommy. I swear I didn't know
00:08:37Waffles, come on
00:08:40Oh, damn
00:08:40What did you do? This is the real police department. We have you surrounded
00:08:45Come on, Charlie. Come on, hurry up
00:08:49Waffles! She's frozen with fear
00:08:52Surrender now
00:08:53Get over there, move
00:08:54Come on, Lewis, come on
00:08:57What is wrong with you? It's not my fault. Waffles is upset
00:09:01Perhaps you should have thought of that before you took your dog on a crime spree
00:09:09Let's go, let's go, let's go
00:09:11Let's go, let's go
00:09:13Great
00:09:16Dead end, Lewis
00:09:17Dead end
00:09:18No, it's not Charlie
00:09:20Look at this
00:09:22I think I got a way out
00:09:23You don't even know where that goes
00:09:24No
00:09:25We can do this
00:09:31You can stay up here if you want
00:09:32I'm going down, that's you
00:09:34I love you, mama
00:09:40Lewis?
00:09:44Lewis?
00:10:00Hey, right over here. Where's the guy?
00:10:03We lost him. Standing by for further instructions. Over.
00:10:07Anything else you'd like me to help you with today?
00:10:09Well, that's pretty much it.
00:10:16In what police are calling one of the largest seizures of stolen goods in the history of New York City,
00:10:23thieves inexplicably led police to a treasure trove of stolen cars, furs, paintings.
00:10:30Lewis Booker, you degenerate moron.
00:10:34Were these medieval times in your knight in shining armor,
00:10:37you would, I have no doubt, slay the maiden and save the dragon.
00:10:43Pfft, of course.
00:10:44Sal, if we could explain.
00:10:46As for you, Charlie, after the tragic death of your father,
00:10:50I married your mother promising her that I would raise you as my own.
00:10:54You chose not to take the Maggio name. I did not complain.
00:10:57And when you had to go to beauty school,
00:11:01those boys who lose their fathers early in life often do.
00:11:05I did not snivel at your intentions, did I?
00:11:08No, Salvatore, you did not. In fact...
00:11:10In fact, I bought a beauty parlor
00:11:13so she could sit on your lazy butt all day.
00:11:16Four and a half million you cost me.
00:11:18Were you anybody else?
00:11:20You'd be dead by now.
00:11:22Sal, we understand that you're upset.
00:11:24It's not your fault.
00:11:26What?
00:11:28A lion can raise a mouse,
00:11:31but the mouse is still a mouse.
00:11:34And you, Charlie,
00:11:36or that mouse?
00:11:38Look at this.
00:11:40He takes it.
00:11:42Chicken blood.
00:11:45Excuse me, Sal.
00:11:47You said that he was a mouse,
00:11:49so that would be mouse blood, not chicken blood.
00:11:52Right?
00:11:54Go on, Sal.
00:11:55I'll hear if you need me.
00:11:57The salient point is,
00:11:59I must continue to live with my lovely wife,
00:12:02and tears on her pillow
00:12:03or a plethora to me,
00:12:06anathema to me.
00:12:07You see what they got me doing?
00:12:08I can't even talk straight.
00:12:09Take it easy, Sal.
00:12:10So?
00:12:13I'm giving you both
00:12:14another chance
00:12:16to redeem yourselves.
00:12:18Thank you, Sal.
00:12:19We won't disappoint you.
00:12:20No, we won't.
00:12:21Of that, I'm sure.
00:12:23Frankie.
00:12:26Hey, kid.
00:12:28Go along.
00:12:30Let your fellow boys in.
00:12:31The mission of absolution.
00:12:33It's simple.
00:12:34You take this envelope
00:12:35to JFK Airport.
00:12:37No problem.
00:12:38You catch tonight's flight
00:12:39from Sydney, Australia.
00:12:41Wow, that's, uh,
00:12:42you know,
00:12:43Louis has got this thing.
00:12:44Yeah, see, uh,
00:12:45because my mama,
00:12:46she got the gout,
00:12:47and if I'm not home
00:12:48to rub her feet,
00:12:48you know, her ankles just swell up,
00:12:50and she can't take
00:12:50her house shoes off.
00:12:51Yeah, this, uh,
00:12:52you know, this really
00:12:53isn't much warning.
00:12:53Need a warning?
00:12:55No.
00:12:57From Sydney,
00:12:58you take the old
00:12:59south road due north
00:13:00to a place called
00:13:01Coober Petey
00:13:02where you meet a man
00:13:03named Mr. Smith.
00:13:05You give this envelope
00:13:06to Mr. Smith.
00:13:09Mr. Smith is expecting you
00:13:11no later than noon
00:13:12local time.
00:13:13You will not be late.
00:13:14What's in here, man?
00:13:15You will not look
00:13:17in that envelope
00:13:18under any circumstances.
00:13:20Understood?
00:13:21I can't hear you.
00:13:22Understood!
00:13:23Oh, yeah.
00:13:25So did you run
00:13:26into any problems?
00:13:27You can reach Mr. Smith
00:13:28at this phone number.
00:13:31Get out of here.
00:13:33I can't believe
00:13:34all of that stuff happened, man.
00:13:35I'm wearing my lucky jacket.
00:13:37Lucky jacket.
00:13:37Lewis, you've been
00:13:38wearing that jacket
00:13:39for over ten years
00:13:40and I've never seen
00:13:40Lucky even remotely
00:13:41come near you.
00:13:45Australia.
00:13:46And then they're just
00:13:47gonna turn around
00:13:48and come right back again.
00:13:50It won't be so bad.
00:13:51Why not?
00:13:53We're canceling
00:13:54their return trip.
00:13:56Hey, Lewis.
00:13:57How much time
00:13:58we got left?
00:13:59Fourteen hours.
00:14:00Man, when is the
00:14:01food coming?
00:14:02I'm starving.
00:14:03Oh, don't even
00:14:03worry about that.
00:14:05I got you covered.
00:14:06Come on.
00:14:08Bam!
00:14:10Are you, like,
00:14:11four years old?
00:14:12Well, if you're not hungry,
00:14:13I can always put these
00:14:14back in my pocket.
00:14:15Wait, wait, wait.
00:14:16I think I'll have
00:14:17this one.
00:14:18Oh, good choice.
00:14:28What is that?
00:14:29And why is my mouth
00:14:30on fire?
00:14:30Oh, that's the new
00:14:32superatomic jaw buster.
00:14:34Extra high.
00:14:37Are you trying
00:14:37to kill me?
00:14:43There's nothing wrong
00:14:44with this.
00:14:45It's not acting
00:14:45like a baby.
00:14:48All right,
00:14:48let me up.
00:14:50What for?
00:14:51How many things
00:14:52could I possibly
00:14:52have to do?
00:14:54My bad.
00:14:56My bad.
00:14:57Yeah.
00:14:58All right.
00:15:03Hey.
00:15:04How you doing?
00:15:06Good.
00:15:22Oh, my God.
00:15:26Hey, Charlie.
00:15:29Someone's in here.
00:15:30Hey, it's me, Charlie.
00:15:31Open up.
00:15:32What?
00:15:33Okay.
00:15:33What the?
00:15:34Hey, check this out.
00:15:34Hey, you're not
00:15:35supposed to open this.
00:15:36Hey, man,
00:15:36it's like 50 grand there.
00:15:37Oh, my God.
00:15:38Something doesn't
00:15:39smell right here.
00:15:40Look at it.
00:15:40No, I'm looking.
00:15:42I've never seen
00:15:43so much green
00:15:44in one little brown package.
00:15:45And now it's
00:15:46in my hands.
00:15:47Oh, it slipped out.
00:15:49Woo!
00:15:50Here, help me scoop it up.
00:15:51Oh, this is
00:15:52one big load.
00:15:53What a mess.
00:15:54I just want to
00:15:55roll around in it.
00:15:55Hand me the rest
00:15:56of the pile.
00:15:57Can I hold it?
00:15:58No, dump it
00:15:59in the envelope.
00:16:00Maybe we should
00:16:00just flush it.
00:16:01We're not going
00:16:01to flush it.
00:16:02I'm going to put
00:16:03it in my pocket,
00:16:04leave this room
00:16:05and take it
00:16:06to Australia.
00:16:07Well, if you're
00:16:07going to do that,
00:16:08give it here.
00:16:09Let me kiss it
00:16:10for good luck.
00:16:10You're not going
00:16:11to kiss it.
00:16:11It's bad enough
00:16:12you touched it,
00:16:12Charlie,
00:16:13before you put it away.
00:16:14Can I at least
00:16:15smell it?
00:16:15Maybe later.
00:16:19Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:16:21It's not what
00:16:21it looks like.
00:16:32Thanks, please.
00:16:33Bye.
00:16:34Good day, mate.
00:16:35Good day.
00:16:37Good day.
00:16:38Could you try
00:16:39and not draw the attention
00:16:40of the entire airport?
00:16:42Why?
00:16:42What's wrong with it?
00:16:43The law states
00:16:43were only allowed
00:16:44to have $10,000.
00:16:45We are carrying
00:16:46$50,000 of mob money.
00:16:49If they find it,
00:16:50I'm anticipating consequences.
00:16:52Like, perhaps,
00:16:53I don't know,
00:16:53let's say, prison?
00:16:55Hey, good night, mate.
00:16:57You know what?
00:16:58It's my fault
00:16:58I didn't keep
00:16:59the sentences short enough.
00:17:00Hey, I heard you,
00:17:02Charlie, all right?
00:17:03Now, if you're worried,
00:17:04give me the money.
00:17:05I'll walk it through.
00:17:07Oh, okay.
00:17:08Let me see.
00:17:09Put my fate
00:17:09in your hands.
00:17:10This is such
00:17:11an agonizing decision.
00:17:12No.
00:17:14All right, then.
00:17:15Just remember,
00:17:16the key is to act
00:17:17like you don't have
00:17:18anything to hide.
00:17:19All right?
00:17:20Thanks, boys.
00:17:21Watch the master.
00:17:24Good day.
00:17:27How you doing, brother?
00:17:29Good day.
00:17:30All right.
00:17:34Get it up top.
00:17:39Good day, mate.
00:17:44How do you?
00:17:44Good day.
00:17:45All right.
00:17:46Cheers.
00:17:47Thanks, boys.
00:17:54Good day, mate.
00:17:57They're my hairdressing scissors.
00:17:59They're my hairdressing scissors.
00:18:04I can, uh...
00:18:05I can explain about that money.
00:18:08You want to explain...
00:18:12$63.
00:18:15Lewis, I lost the money.
00:18:16What?
00:18:17I lost the money.
00:18:18Salvatore Maggio's money.
00:18:19Charlie, Charlie.
00:18:20Calm down, all right?
00:18:21The trick
00:18:22is not to look suspicious.
00:18:25Make him watch this hand
00:18:27instead of this hand.
00:18:28Mom.
00:18:29Mom, how'd you go in, didn't I?
00:18:32That is not funny, Lewis.
00:18:33Get in the car, baby.
00:18:35What's up?
00:18:36They didn't have a Cadillac?
00:18:37This is the Cadillac of the Outback.
00:18:46Come from a land of wonder
00:18:49Yeah, yeah
00:18:52Women growin' with wonder
00:18:56Can you hear, can you hear the thunder?
00:19:00You better run, you better take cover
00:19:05You know, Charlie, this mysterious Mr. Smith that we're going to meet, I don't think that's
00:19:12his real name.
00:19:13Nothing escapes you, Lewis.
00:19:16What's eating you, man?
00:19:19Don't tell me this is about that girl on the plane.
00:19:21No, it's more than that.
00:19:23Hey, hey, Cooper Petey, Cooper Petey, right here.
00:19:25I got it, I got it, I got it, here we go.
00:19:27Here we go.
00:19:29Let's face it, Lewis, I'm never going to find the right girl.
00:19:31We've got to stop it with this never stuff, man.
00:19:34Two days ago, we never thought we'd be in Australia, but we're here.
00:19:38We're living in London, London.
00:19:42Come on, Charlie, give me a beat.
00:19:44Come on, play with the radio.
00:19:46Come on, man, I want to play with you.
00:19:47Give me a beat, man.
00:19:55Rolling in the land with the deep red sand, the big black man, the big black man.
00:20:03We're living in a land out of love.
00:20:07We're living in a land out of love.
00:20:11You better run.
00:20:13You better run.
00:20:14Come on.
00:20:23Come on.
00:20:25What the hell?
00:20:26My God.
00:20:29I killed a kangaroo.
00:20:34I never saw it.
00:20:37Such a beautiful animal.
00:20:38It's the national symbol of Australia, and I killed it.
00:20:42Hey, don't worry about that, Charlie.
00:20:43I read in the book that the kangaroos are the rodents of the outback.
00:20:46We cool.
00:20:47Shouldn't we bury it or something?
00:20:49No, look, man, my uncle has one rule of thumb.
00:20:51He says whenever you hit something, you keep on rolling.
00:20:53So let's roll.
00:20:54You can't just leave it in the middle of the road.
00:20:55I got to at least pull it off to the side.
00:20:56Oh, well, you're pulling by yourself then.
00:20:59God, I'm so sorry, little buddy.
00:21:05Charlie, don't move.
00:21:06Stay right there.
00:21:07Lewis, what are you doing?
00:21:09Lewis, you guys look so adorable.
00:21:13Good day, mate.
00:21:14Stop that, Lewis.
00:21:15Hey, Charlie, hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:21:17You know what he looks like?
00:21:19Jackie Legs.
00:21:21Jackie Legs from Canarsie with the goatee.
00:21:23Always wears the sunglasses.
00:21:25What are you talking about?
00:21:26Hold on.
00:21:27Look.
00:21:28Okay, look at it.
00:21:29Right there.
00:21:29Look at that.
00:21:32Jeez, that is Jackie Legs.
00:21:37All right, Lewis, enough.
00:21:38Come on, help me here.
00:21:39Uh-uh.
00:21:41It's lucky jacket time.
00:21:44Come on, Lewis, have some respect.
00:21:46It's bad enough we ran him over.
00:21:47Ugh!
00:21:51Oh!
00:21:53Come on, man.
00:21:53Just one picture for the Brooklyn crew.
00:21:55All right, just one.
00:21:57Oh, woo!
00:21:57Let's make this quick.
00:21:58Yeah, big boy.
00:21:59All right.
00:22:00Say cheese!
00:22:04All right, come on, let's get this jacket off.
00:22:05We got things to do, Lewis.
00:22:07Whoa!
00:22:07Hey, come on, Charlie.
00:22:09One more.
00:22:11This could be our Christmas card.
00:22:17Lewis?
00:22:18What?
00:22:19What?
00:22:21Come on!
00:22:22Come on!
00:22:25Come on!
00:22:27Charlie!
00:22:31Jeez!
00:22:34Look!
00:22:37We didn't hurt him after all.
00:22:38Looked like we did.
00:22:41You're a tough little guy, aren't you?
00:22:43Oh, my God.
00:22:44Oh, my God.
00:22:45Oh.
00:22:47Hey, look how tall he is.
00:22:50Oh!
00:22:56You all right, dog?
00:22:57Come on.
00:22:58Come on!
00:22:59Come on!
00:23:04I just got my ass kicked by a marsupial.
00:23:11You want to know the best part?
00:23:13What?
00:23:13The best part is now I never have to see that stupid red jacket of yours again.
00:23:17Oh, my God!
00:23:19Oh, my God!
00:23:22Oh, my God!
00:23:31Oh, my God!
00:23:32Oh, my God!
00:23:33Oh, my God!
00:23:34Oh, my God!
00:23:35Oh, my God!
00:23:38Oh, my God!
00:23:40Oh, my God!
00:23:42Oh, my God!
00:23:44Oh, my God!
00:23:45I'm in a way!
00:23:49The kangaroo has the money?
00:23:54The kangaroo has Salvador Maggio's $50,000.
00:23:59Yeah!
00:24:11Who puts a jacket with $50,000 on a kangaroo?
00:24:16He was dead, Charlie!
00:24:19You should have just let me drown, Lewis.
00:24:21I mean it. When you had the chance, you should have just let me drown.
00:24:23But there he is! There he is right there!
00:24:26I see you now, sucker!
00:24:28Go, go, go, go! We got him! We got him!
00:24:31Oh, look at that little fella go, Charlie!
00:24:33Look at him go!
00:24:38Yeah!
00:24:44Here we come, baby! Oh, we're gaining on him!
00:24:47Oh, my God! Look at the fella move, man!
00:24:55I'm gonna pull up on your side and I want you to reach out and grab the money!
00:24:57Piece of cake, see you want me to just open the door and lean out of the speeding car?
00:25:01Fine, Charlie! We'll just drive past him and hope he hops in the Jeep!
00:25:06Here I go! Okay!
00:25:09Okay, here I go!
00:25:10Give me closer! Give me closer!
00:25:12Charlie, he's hopping like a rabbit!
00:25:14Closer!
00:25:14Give me a little closer, Lewis!
00:25:16I'm trying to get closer, Charlie!
00:25:18Oh, come on! Get him, baby!
00:25:19Closer, Lewis!
00:25:20Oh, come on! Get the money, Charlie!
00:25:21A little closer, Lewis!
00:25:23Help!
00:25:23I almost got it! Almost there!
00:25:24Come on, Charlie! I can't hold it!
00:25:26Oh!
00:25:28Oh!
00:25:28Get the money!
00:25:29Oh!
00:25:34As it turns out, this is hard.
00:25:40What are these things?
00:25:42They're termite mouths! I read about them in the book!
00:25:45Careful, Lewis, you almost missed one!
00:25:49You mad ass sucker!
00:25:55Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
00:25:57Oh!
00:25:59Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
00:26:01Oh!
00:26:04Oh!
00:26:06Oh!
00:26:06Oh!
00:26:15I don't suppose you took the insurance.
00:26:20My uncle always told me that was just a rip-off.
00:26:24Oh!
00:26:28Ow!
00:26:31Don't worry, Charlie. We'll get the money back, alright?
00:26:34You can't go far.
00:26:36It's a continent, Lewis.
00:26:37You can go very far.
00:26:38I know it's a continent.
00:26:40I read the book.
00:26:41You happen to read the chapter on not putting your jacket on a wild animal?
00:26:47No, but I did read the chapter on how an aboriginal can kill a white man with a twig.
00:26:51You wanna see that one?
00:26:57Oh!
00:27:00Jouette!
00:27:02...
00:27:05...
00:27:12Oh!
00:27:18So long after this...
00:27:26The old Allison.
00:27:28Come on, Lewis, I'll buy you a beer,
00:27:29and we'll cash you into the next game.
00:27:34Two beers.
00:27:35Big beers.
00:27:36Hey, look here.
00:27:37I'm gonna call Mr. Smith, you know,
00:27:39let him know there's been a slight delay.
00:27:41Slight delay?
00:27:42Yeah, but we're working on it, all right?
00:27:44Give me his number.
00:27:48Hey, where's your phone?
00:27:50I ran near the Danny's.
00:27:51You guys have a Denny's?
00:27:53No, the Danny.
00:27:55The Bog Choff.
00:27:56The Long Drop.
00:27:58The Thunderbox.
00:27:59You know what?
00:28:00I'm just gonna look for her by the bathroom.
00:28:02All right?
00:28:09Now, there's a Yankster can drink.
00:28:13Any Yankster can drink?
00:28:14It's all right with me.
00:28:17Hey, my name's Blue.
00:28:20Charlie.
00:28:21Nice to meet you, Chazza.
00:28:24Charlie.
00:28:25As I said, Chazza.
00:28:28We're only two hours late.
00:28:30You should be a reasonable and understanding man.
00:28:35What?
00:28:36Uh, Mr. Smith.
00:28:37Uh, yeah, you might not know me, but...
00:28:40Where are you, Blodgett?
00:28:42I'm out here in the back of Bullitt McCanker, up to me ears in heat stroke, waiting for you two
00:28:47Yanks.
00:28:48Where's me package?
00:28:49Uh, it's been temporarily misplaced.
00:28:54I don't reckon you respect me very much.
00:28:56First you steal my package, and now you're on the phone razzing me about it.
00:29:00We didn't steal your package, I swear.
00:29:02Look, we're gonna get it back.
00:29:04You'd be a banger short of a Barbie if you didn't.
00:29:06When I find ya...
00:29:07You'd better get ready to cough it up, otherwise I'll chop you into snags and feed you to the crocs.
00:29:13Mr. Smith!
00:29:14Have a nice day.
00:29:18One of me favorites.
00:29:28A kangaroo, a kangaroo, a kangaroo.
00:29:31Wildlife Foundation.
00:29:35Oh, Louis, this is Blue.
00:29:38Blue, this is Louis.
00:29:39Hey, Blue.
00:29:40What'd Mr. Smith say?
00:29:41He was nice.
00:29:42He was nice.
00:29:43He said everything was cool.
00:29:45Really?
00:29:46He did say that we should do our best to get the package back.
00:29:49Ah, right.
00:29:50The package.
00:29:51Ah, the package!
00:29:53Uh, Charlie?
00:29:55Order me another drink.
00:29:56I got a plan.
00:30:02This just isn't my day.
00:30:05Oh, yeah.
00:30:11You mind leaving a little for the camels?
00:30:15You're American.
00:30:16And you're drinking water that comes from a stagnant pond.
00:30:19Oh.
00:30:20I'm from Brooklyn.
00:30:21I've had a lot worse.
00:30:22The name's Louis.
00:30:24Name's Jesse.
00:30:25Oh, nice to meet you.
00:30:26Want to give me a hand?
00:30:28Okay.
00:30:31Woo!
00:30:32No offense, but these are the ugliest rabbits I've ever seen.
00:30:36They're called bilbies, and they're almost extinct.
00:30:38In fact, it's up to these guys to repopulate the entire Devil's Marbles area.
00:30:43Somebody's gonna be having fun tonight.
00:30:46That's the plan.
00:30:47Looks like you're gonna need a couple more bilbies, though.
00:30:50Well, if the foundation I work for had more money.
00:30:54You mean the Wildlife Foundation?
00:30:56Mm-hmm.
00:30:56You work here?
00:30:58Yeah.
00:30:58Oh, thank you, Lord.
00:31:00This is great.
00:31:01Look, I need some help.
00:31:03See, I put my lucky jacket on the back of a dead kangaroo who came to life and then hopped
00:31:07off with all my money.
00:31:08You do need help.
00:31:09No, no, no, no.
00:31:10I'm for real.
00:31:11Can you help me?
00:31:13Do you have any idea where he is?
00:31:16No.
00:31:17Well, it seems to me you need an airplane.
00:31:19You need a tranquilizer gun.
00:31:20Huh?
00:31:22You need a list.
00:31:52You need a pistol.
00:31:53Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:32:00Come on, come on.
00:32:02Come on.
00:32:04Give me one sec, guys.
00:32:06You've got to see this guy drink.
00:32:08He's unbelievable.
00:32:09Hey, I figured out how we're gonna catch that kangaroo.
00:32:11First we hit it with the car, now you want to blow its head off?
00:32:15No.
00:32:16This is a tranquilizer, Doc.
00:32:19It works in three stages.
00:32:21Stage one, temporary blindness.
00:32:23Stage two, partial paralysis.
00:32:25And stage three, complete shutdown of all molar skills.
00:32:28Totally humane.
00:32:30Sounds humane.
00:32:31I said it was temporary.
00:32:33Look, I walked to this wildlife office, and there's this American girl that works there,
00:32:36and she is...
00:32:38Ooh.
00:32:38Bam.
00:32:39Pow.
00:32:40Just rubble.
00:32:40Ooh.
00:32:41Ow.
00:32:42Just rubble.
00:32:43This one.
00:32:44Ooh.
00:32:47Pow.
00:32:47Pow.
00:32:48Pow.
00:32:48Pow.
00:32:49Epileptic?
00:32:50Her name is Jessie.
00:32:51And I told her the story.
00:32:52I even showed her a picture of the kangaroo.
00:32:54You told her the kangaroo has $50,000.
00:32:57I told her the kangaroo has $4,000.
00:32:59And our passports.
00:33:01Not bad.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:03She told me the best way to find a kangaroo is by air.
00:33:06What's that?
00:33:08Number two bush plane that we can hire.
00:33:10I like it.
00:33:11Let's go call.
00:33:12Ha, ha, ha.
00:33:18If I didn't know you better, I'd say this is a honey of a plan.
00:33:21Dang, skip it.
00:33:25Excuse me, mates.
00:33:28Gonna appoint Percy at the porcelain.
00:33:32Gee, I almost made it.
00:33:39Pilot's personal number.
00:33:57Lewis?
00:33:58Mm-hmm.
00:34:00Do you have a backup plan?
00:34:03Mm-mm.
00:34:05I sure hope the two pots of coffee and the Red Bull we gave him were enough.
00:34:10Hey, man.
00:34:11How you doing up there?
00:34:13Never better, mate.
00:34:14Why do you ask?
00:34:15No reason.
00:34:16It's just that you were passed out an hour ago.
00:34:19That's just me morning ritual, mate.
00:34:24I couldn't help but notice that this is the Flying Gingo 4.
00:34:28What happened to the 1, 2, and 3?
00:34:30Ha, ha, ha.
00:34:39now use the word in a sentence amorphous having no definite form shapeless as in
00:34:49after joey clams got whacked his head was amorphous that was excellent now let's move
00:34:55to the next level i think you should take this hello i grieves to hear that mr smith of course
00:35:09we had a
00:35:10deal please advise me if this situation changes those two mama looks didn't show our friend feels
00:35:22they pocketed the 50 g's maybe they figured it out my stepson couldn't figure out a cheese sandwich
00:35:28if they spotted him the pumpernickel and the provo so what do you want to do you possess a valid
00:35:36passport i can't see anything from up here hey do you think you can take us down a little lower
00:35:45hang on here knickers we're going in
00:35:58look out for that
00:36:04could you please not do that again thank you hey charlie look to the left
00:36:11kangaroos they're kangaroos all right a lot of kangaroos not with a red jacket though
00:36:18you think it could be someplace else wait look look it's jackie legs there he is that's him
00:36:25that's him i knew this would work blue bring us around yeah right
00:36:34give me that blue
00:36:45now get up right on his tail and stay with him no matter what
00:36:49wow hey say hello to my little friend
00:36:56i got you now jackie legs i'm gonna get you now
00:37:06you hit him
00:37:08i don't know he's still hopping maybe it takes a little time for it to take effect
00:37:12yeah all right
00:37:16charlie
00:37:20oh my god
00:37:22uh mate
00:37:22yes
00:37:24got a bit of a wrinkle here
00:37:25the old optics are on the fritz
00:37:28stage one
00:37:29temporary blindness
00:37:35was that the engine
00:37:37no that was me for some reason i can't move me out
00:37:40stage two
00:37:41partial paralysis
00:37:44charlie
00:37:45can you lean over here and take the stick
00:37:47i can still work the foot pedals
00:37:49oh god
00:37:50take the stick firmly in hand
00:37:55stage three
00:37:57total shutdown of motor skills
00:37:59english blue
00:38:02english
00:38:02stage four
00:38:04fire and crash
00:38:07oh
00:38:08oh
00:38:11oh
00:38:13oh
00:38:24oh
00:38:25oh
00:38:25oh
00:38:26oh
00:38:26oh
00:38:27oh
00:38:27oh
00:38:27oh
00:38:27oh
00:38:27oh
00:38:28oh
00:38:28oh
00:38:28oh
00:38:29oh
00:38:30oh
00:38:30oh
00:38:36oh
00:38:46oh
00:38:48oh
00:38:50oh
00:38:56you okay yeah sure yeah good cuz I'm gonna beat you soft Lewis like this is
00:39:02my fault first rule of aviation you never shoot the pilot the same crash
00:39:07positions blue we already crashed all right now where he's in
00:39:23can I help you think some friends of mine passed through here a couple of yanks
00:39:31friends yeah I promised the family back home I'll take care of hello hello come
00:39:40on you got to do something hey hello hello Charlie come on man we got to do
00:39:47something what can we do you have to sit here and hope the Santa Claus over there
00:39:51can fix the radio or someone comes looking for us actually someone is
00:39:56looking for us mr. Smith Lewis he didn't say what I said he said what did he say
00:40:08that you didn't say he said he thinks we stole this package man so he's coming
00:40:11after us and he mentioned this little thing about cutting us up into little
00:40:15bitty pieces and snacks for a crocodile then the phone went out man and I
00:40:18think so we stole his money then by now Sal thinks that we stole his money hey
00:40:21man Sal's not gonna hurt us he's married to your mother
00:40:25if Sal Maggio thinks we stole his money he'll kill us in front of my mother then
00:40:29make her clean it up all we have to do is find the money before mr. Smith finds us
00:40:32and everything is okay I see so what you're saying is that we should find the
00:40:36money yes how Lewis how how are we gonna catch a kangaroo on foot mm-hmm
00:40:46I got it you ever heard of devil's marbles
00:40:50Jewish bit of a walk though why what's there the lady I told you about at the
00:40:55wildlife office the epileptic yes she works with animals and I bet you anything
00:41:00she can help us catch jackie legs oh please Charlie it's better than being
00:41:04cut up in a little bitty pieces man not if you go first and I get to watch look
00:41:09cap you black scow ahead I'll fix the money I'll be right with you which way is
00:41:25Charlie uh-huh I'm worried about waffles do you think she'll be okay with Sal oh sure as long as
00:41:33she doesn't dig up any bodies in the backyard she should be just fine good how far did blue say
00:41:41this
00:41:41place was he didn't he just said was Dewey's so is Brooklyn you're the guide yes sir my name mr.
00:41:58Jimmy first-rate expert at back guide you'd be most happy with me freaking start hey listen you know
00:42:08where we can get some guns around here no worries you boys hunters yeah hunters I think I just
00:42:18sweated out a bottle of yoo-hoo I drank in the eighth grade shh shh shh let me go what
00:42:24dingoes
00:42:28hey that one kind of looks like waffles yeah waffles had a crazed look in his eye and his face
00:42:32caked in
00:42:33blood Charlie why are they staring at me like that because I'm a green leaf salad and you're the all
00:42:41-you-can-eat
00:42:42buffet hey Charlie you gotta help me out man they go get me like they got that baby whoa feel
00:42:51that
00:42:52wind suddenly picked up it's like all of a sudden the air conditioners fixed
00:42:57Charlie where the dingo's going I think something bad is about to happen here Lewis oh hey Charlie look
00:43:06oh this feels good I feel like I could fly Lewis I want to go back to Brooklyn
00:43:23come in Tansy over read you over boy am I glad to hear you listen I've crashed me plane
00:43:30can you send some help your location over Western Simpson and just south of Kings Canyon
00:43:42Tansy you read me Tansy Tansy do you read me must be some kind of freak sandstorm think so I
00:43:57think you
00:43:57need to eat your blood sugar is getting low stop okay please just stop you know what I can really
00:44:06go
00:44:06for right about now some Roscoe's chicken and waffles the side of grits and the side of gravy
00:44:12I love listening to you oh what better you had one of those ice mocha schmocha things from Starbucks
00:44:19they're so cold and creamy my god
00:44:34can you believe this can you believe our luck oh what are the chances
00:44:43it's a miracle
00:44:47oh yeah
00:44:55dudes
00:45:03hey Lewis what are you waiting for
00:45:07come on hop in
00:45:11hey look
00:45:13they got slurpees
00:45:15oh Charlie
00:45:21brain freeze
00:45:26it seems so real
00:45:30that's why they call it a mirage
00:45:32at least you got to have fun for a few minutes
00:45:34yeah
00:45:35because my brain is frying and I'm losing contact with reality
00:45:40you don't understand this because this is how you usually function
00:45:46that was uncalled for Charlie
00:45:48was it
00:45:51every decision you make Lewis is a disaster
00:45:54that's right Charlie
00:45:55just blame me
00:45:56that way you relieve yourself of all responsibility
00:46:00but let me tell you something
00:46:02it's easier to mock than to do
00:46:04and you do nothing
00:46:06you just complain and whine like a woman
00:46:10you want to see me do something
00:46:12oh bring it on queen of the desert
00:46:35Lewis
00:46:37Lewis wait a second
00:46:39I'm having another one of those mirages
00:46:41and this one's a beauty
00:46:57Charlie
00:46:59Lewis please
00:47:00let me just enjoy this
00:47:18how you doing
00:47:19good
00:47:21you
00:47:21good
00:47:35they feel
00:47:36so real
00:47:53it's you
00:47:54yeah it's me
00:47:55love the jacket Charlie
00:47:57it's hard to get something that fits my shoulders
00:48:00nice
00:48:01how'd you know red was my favourite colour
00:48:02you can talk
00:48:04and
00:48:05I can sing
00:48:06I said a hit
00:48:07hop
00:48:07the hippie
00:48:08the hippie to the hip hip hop
00:48:10and you don't stop
00:48:10the rock to the bang bang
00:48:11boogie set up
00:48:12jump the boogie to the rear of the mo
00:48:14the boogie to the boogie
00:48:14this is great
00:48:15so I am
00:48:16Jackie Legs
00:48:17and I'd like to say
00:48:18hello
00:48:19to the black to the white
00:48:20Jackie
00:48:21uh
00:48:21Mr. Legs
00:48:23if you could find your way clear
00:48:25to give me back my money
00:48:26money?
00:48:28oh
00:48:28you mean
00:48:29that money
00:48:33stop that
00:48:34stop that
00:48:35stop that
00:48:37hey
00:48:37stop that
00:48:38please
00:48:39your cell phone's out
00:48:40if I find out what Charlie
00:48:42that you lost my money
00:48:45Sal
00:48:45I asked you to do something for me
00:48:48this is not that
00:48:49it wasn't my fault
00:48:50it was Lewis
00:48:51say what
00:48:52my fault
00:48:52that's how you pay me back
00:48:54after I saved your life
00:48:56Lewis
00:48:56next time you drown in the ocean
00:48:58call free willy
00:48:59let willy set you free
00:49:02you know what sir
00:49:03you were right about him
00:49:05chicken blood
00:49:06smell it on his father
00:49:08smell it on him
00:49:09chicken blood
00:49:10oy
00:49:11chicken blood
00:49:12chicken blood
00:49:13chicken blood
00:49:14chicken blood
00:49:24here
00:49:26drink this
00:49:27it'll bring down the swelling
00:49:31unfortunately it'll also make your testicles fall off
00:49:38I'm kidding
00:49:42it won't bring down the swelling
00:50:01that bloody time
00:50:07where are they
00:50:09piss off
00:50:1015 years special air services
00:50:12behind the line
00:50:14I've done it hard mate
00:50:15forgot more than you ever learned
00:50:17you'll get nothing from me
00:50:20devil's marbles
00:50:21took off on foot
00:50:22about 10 hours ago
00:50:23see that wasn't so difficult
00:50:34knock knock
00:50:36very funny
00:50:37can't be too careful
00:50:40yeah
00:50:41I'm sorry about that
00:50:42I didn't think they were real
00:50:45oh no
00:50:45I mean
00:50:46I thought they were real
00:50:47I just didn't think
00:50:48relax
00:50:48I know what you mean
00:50:49Lewis explain
00:50:52listen
00:50:53Lewis and I have a little problem
00:50:55and I already told him
00:50:56I can't help you find your rue
00:50:57I've got to get back to Alice Springs
00:50:59sorry
00:51:02that's okay
00:51:03I understand
00:51:10what?
00:51:11look
00:51:13Lewis told me you
00:51:14need some money to help
00:51:15repopulate the earth
00:51:16with your rabbits
00:51:18Bilby's
00:51:19Bilby's
00:51:21how about this
00:51:23we give you
00:51:23$2,000
00:51:24you help us
00:51:26get our stuff back
00:51:27$2,000?
00:51:29strictly business
00:51:29no strings attached
00:51:31what do you say
00:51:31we got a deal?
00:51:32deal
00:51:34great
00:51:34hustle makes it happen
00:51:35let's get moving
00:51:36now?
00:51:38you see
00:51:38our passports
00:51:39are just about to expire
00:51:41nine
00:51:41of the ten
00:51:42most poisonous snakes
00:51:43in the world
00:51:44live in Australia
00:51:45and they all come out at night
00:51:48how do you feel
00:51:49about a morning start?
00:51:57doesn't get any better
00:51:58than this
00:51:59Lewis
00:51:59blue skies
00:52:00fresh air
00:52:01and who even knew
00:52:02there were camels
00:52:03in Australia
00:52:04these are noble beasts
00:52:05my friend
00:52:06proud
00:52:07majestic
00:52:10oh come on
00:52:12get used to it boys
00:52:13camels do that
00:52:16I don't want to seem nosy
00:52:18but do you have some sort of plan here?
00:52:20there hasn't been rain for weeks
00:52:21right?
00:52:24oh god
00:52:25come on
00:52:27well when the water dries up
00:52:28in the basins
00:52:29the kangaroos head for the rivers
00:52:33so that means we have two choices
00:52:34the fink river
00:52:35or the tod
00:52:36and since the fink is 200 miles away
00:52:38I'm leaning toward the tod
00:52:40alrighty then
00:52:41to the tod
00:52:42to the tod
00:52:42to the tod
00:52:45Lewis what are you eating?
00:52:46I picked a bunch of berries
00:52:47when we were at camp man
00:52:48Jessie said they were cool
00:52:50they smell just like a bowl
00:52:52of fruity pebbles
00:52:52right before you add the milk
00:52:54go on take a whiff
00:52:55no
00:52:56thank you
00:52:56okay
00:53:02give me some of those berries
00:53:03come on quick
00:53:03try it go
00:53:04give me some of these
00:53:08man
00:53:10these do smell pretty good
00:53:11chicks in New York
00:53:12they pay big money to smell like that right?
00:53:14they're called snake skin liberries
00:53:16set
00:53:17impressive
00:53:18how long you been in Australia?
00:53:19I moved here with a friend from Milwaukee
00:53:21three years ago
00:53:22for a semester abroad
00:53:23and I never went back
00:53:24Milwaukee
00:53:25you know I once had
00:53:31what is with these camels?
00:53:34that one was me
00:53:38I swear to god
00:53:40we passed that same bush
00:53:41two hours ago
00:53:42what is going on?
00:53:44well it says here
00:53:45what again with the map?
00:53:47hey why'd you sit on your head
00:53:48try thinking with your butt
00:53:49hey Frankie look
00:53:51maybe this hump
00:53:52can tell us where we are
00:53:56how you doing?
00:53:58got trained to the neck
00:53:59crashed me plane
00:54:00rescue party
00:54:00knocked me out
00:54:01and left me to die
00:54:01all because of the bloody boom
00:54:04hmm
00:54:06we're looking for Alice Springs
00:54:07you know
00:54:07it isn't straightforward mate
00:54:10what about a lift?
00:54:12why not?
00:54:13get in
00:54:14I'll be
00:54:19so what do you think?
00:54:21wow
00:54:22now when do the kangaroos come here?
00:54:25come on
00:54:28this looks like a good spot
00:54:29if there's a kangaroo within 500 miles
00:54:31he'll show up here eventually
00:54:34so when our guy shows up
00:54:36how are we going to catch him?
00:54:37you know what?
00:54:38I've been thinking about that
00:54:42you ever turn a balla?
00:54:44what?
00:54:46round round baby
00:54:47round round
00:54:48standing down on me
00:54:50I don't need no man
00:54:52got my kicks for free
00:54:53a wheel ride stood by
00:54:56gonna be down low
00:54:57I don't need nobody
00:54:59but my honey's gonna
00:55:01go round baby
00:55:02round round
00:55:03standing down on me
00:55:05I don't need no man
00:55:07got my kicks for free
00:55:08if you hate me
00:55:10I will show you
00:55:12how to bring me
00:55:14into something new
00:55:16if you want me
00:55:18run away now
00:55:20if you stop me
00:55:22then I'll hit the ground
00:55:27round round baby
00:55:29round round
00:55:30standing down on me
00:55:31I don't need no man
00:55:33yo
00:55:34what's a boomer?
00:55:36what?
00:55:36a boomer
00:55:37oh kangaroo
00:55:38those two of your
00:55:40folks
00:55:40Americans
00:55:41chasing after his
00:55:42kangaroo in a red
00:55:43shiny jacket
00:55:46don't that doc
00:55:47Lewis Booker always
00:55:47wear a shiny red
00:55:48jacket
00:55:49yeah
00:56:05never should have left
00:56:06the pub
00:56:09oh yes
00:56:10oh yeah
00:56:11is this an Olympic
00:56:12event?
00:56:12because I am
00:56:13Bolo man
00:56:13I am Bolo man
00:56:15Bingo
00:56:16Bingo
00:56:17Bingo?
00:56:17where?
00:56:17no no no no
00:56:18Bingo
00:56:18look
00:56:18nice call Jesse
00:56:20so that's
00:56:21Jackie Legs
00:56:22kangaroo jack
00:56:23in the flesh
00:56:23hey hey
00:56:24you can't get in
00:56:24him like that
00:56:25he'll just take off
00:56:25running
00:56:26so what do we do?
00:56:28we have to disguise
00:56:29ourselves
00:56:30get rid of our
00:56:31human scent
00:56:32and how are we
00:56:33going to do that?
00:56:41we need to get a
00:56:42little closer
00:56:42now the only time
00:56:44we move
00:56:45is when he's
00:56:46feeding
00:56:47this is very
00:56:48important
00:56:49don't make any
00:56:50sudden movements
00:56:51or sounds
00:56:52okay
00:56:53got it
00:56:55there he goes
00:57:03oh
00:57:06oh
00:57:08oh
00:57:09oh
00:57:10what is your
00:57:11problem?
00:57:12man I got a
00:57:13family of ants
00:57:14crawling up my leg
00:57:15just ignore them
00:57:16I thought she said
00:57:16no sudden movement
00:57:17boys
00:57:18boys
00:57:19hello
00:57:22we're close enough
00:57:23spread out
00:57:24Charlie
00:57:27I'm having a
00:57:28picnic in my
00:57:28shorts
00:57:29and I brought
00:57:29the sweets
00:57:30always just
00:57:31keep it together
00:57:32okay
00:57:33keep together
00:57:34Lewis
00:57:36keep together
00:57:55Charlie I can't
00:57:56take it
00:57:56oh
00:57:57oh
00:57:58oh
00:57:59oh
00:58:02oh
00:58:04get off me
00:58:05get off me
00:58:06oh I'm gonna roll
00:58:07in the grass
00:58:08this is great
00:58:08this is just great
00:58:10now what are we
00:58:10gonna do?
00:58:11well there's no more
00:58:12we can do today
00:58:12we'll just have to
00:58:14wait
00:58:14I have a pretty good
00:58:15idea where they'll be
00:58:16tomorrow
00:58:16tomorrow?
00:58:17no no no
00:58:17this is gonna happen
00:58:18today
00:58:19we'll pitch camp
00:58:19here
00:58:20I'll get the
00:58:21fire
00:58:21oh
00:58:23oh god
00:58:24wow
00:58:25they saw about
00:58:26that man
00:58:26I was under
00:58:28attack
00:58:28that's alright
00:58:28look at her
00:58:29she thinks she's
00:58:30so much smarter
00:58:30than us
00:58:32I'm pretty sure
00:58:33she is Charlie
00:58:35let me ask you
00:58:36something Mr.
00:58:37Jimmy
00:58:38where do I go
00:58:39if I'm looking
00:58:40for a missing
00:58:40kangaroo
00:58:43sky is dry
00:58:44for many months
00:58:46wind is quiet
00:58:47from the
00:58:48kangaroos
00:58:49Jim
00:58:49where are they?
00:58:51well the best bet's
00:58:52right here
00:58:52Owen Springs
00:58:56yeah
00:59:09sometimes I'm pushing
00:59:11the fire
00:59:14spread my
00:59:15weights
00:59:16and soar
00:59:18what are you doing?
00:59:28whoa
00:59:29Jesse
00:59:30I was gonna take a bath
00:59:32go
00:59:35yes
00:59:35no
00:59:36look I'm hot
00:59:37I'm filthy
00:59:38and I wanna take a bath
00:59:39you can stay
00:59:41you can go
00:59:41makes no difference to me
00:59:42well I'm not leaving
00:59:44I was here first
00:59:45see it yourself
01:00:00it's gorgeous
01:00:04hey
01:00:04what are you looking at?
01:00:06well you look first
01:00:07well yeah I look
01:00:09so I look too
01:00:10alright
01:00:13come near me
01:00:14I'll kill you
01:00:14so nervous
01:00:17you have
01:00:18absolutely no effect
01:00:19on me
01:00:20no
01:00:21you think you do
01:00:23just stating the obvious
01:00:24you are so not even my type
01:00:26you could kiss me
01:00:27right now
01:00:28and it would make the slightest
01:00:34difference
01:00:36nothing
01:00:37no
01:00:38sorry
01:00:39hey well
01:00:40I hate to break it to you honey
01:00:42but that kiss did absolutely
01:00:43nothing for me either
01:00:44well I'm not surprised
01:00:45if that's the best you can kiss
01:00:46oh
01:00:47you wanna see the best
01:00:48I can kiss
01:00:49as a matter of fact
01:00:50I
01:00:57see
01:00:59nothing
01:01:00same here
01:01:02nothing
01:01:02really
01:01:05alright
01:01:06I'll admit it
01:01:07this is the most sensual
01:01:11romantic moment
01:01:12of my entire life
01:01:22and now it's over
01:01:36and now it's over
01:01:38hey guys
01:01:40I think it's time to get up
01:01:44what's going on
01:01:45we're in a little bit of trouble
01:01:47a little
01:01:49I've been following camel tracks
01:01:51all bloody morning
01:01:52so let's make short work
01:01:54in this
01:01:54where's me mola
01:01:56for god's sakes
01:01:58all this over four thousand dollars
01:02:03it's more isn't it
01:02:06how much more
01:02:08forty six thousand more
01:02:09and every cent of it's mine
01:02:12now there are two ways
01:02:13of doing this
01:02:14and one of them's
01:02:15a lot less painful
01:02:16than the other
01:02:19where's the money
01:02:22see what had happened was
01:02:23we was driving
01:02:25and then you know
01:02:25we hit this kangaroo
01:02:26and I was wearing
01:02:27my lucky jacket
01:02:27so I just
01:02:28wrong answer
01:02:28your mate blue
01:02:29told us that yarn
01:02:30about the boomer
01:02:33mate
01:02:34I hope for your sake
01:02:36you were stupid enough
01:02:37to hide that money
01:02:38in them saddlebags
01:02:39you gotta believe us
01:02:40nah
01:02:40you gotta believe me
01:02:42but I'm there
01:02:43I'm gonna carve you up
01:02:45piece by piece
01:02:50so it's safe to assume
01:02:51you're not on vacation
01:02:52no
01:02:55charlie's stepfather's a mobster
01:02:56back in new york
01:02:57and he had us sent here
01:02:58to deliver a package
01:02:58oh and you got me
01:02:59into the middle of this
01:03:00I'm so sorry jesse
01:03:01I never thought
01:03:01this would happen
01:03:03you lied to me
01:03:09what do you know
01:03:11bad news fellas
01:03:13you were telling the truth
01:03:14so
01:03:15who wants to go first
01:03:20we can find your money
01:03:21if you kill us now
01:03:23you'll never get it
01:03:23I'm a listener
01:03:24I know a feeding ground
01:03:26near Owen Springs
01:03:27the eucalyptus grove
01:03:28a few kilometers from here
01:03:29that's where they'll be
01:03:35I'll take the sheila
01:03:37and ride ahead
01:03:38jesse
01:03:39come on
01:03:39I didn't do it for you
01:03:44listen up
01:03:46once we're out of sight
01:03:48I want you to take our friends
01:03:49here out to king's canyon
01:03:51you know what to do
01:03:52but don't go back
01:03:54make it look natural
01:03:55two yanks tragically cocking it
01:03:57and I'm apologetic out back
01:04:04we're going in the wrong direction
01:04:07they're gonna kill us charlie
01:04:09god only knows
01:04:09what they're gonna do to jesse
01:04:12I should have stopped this
01:04:1320 years ago
01:04:16what are you talking about
01:04:17the first time sal came
01:04:18to my mother's house
01:04:19I knew he was no good
01:04:19but he bought me
01:04:20this first baseman's mitt
01:04:21that don mattingly model
01:04:23oh that was a great mitt
01:04:25I still feel bad
01:04:26about losing it
01:04:27when he left
01:04:27my mom asked me
01:04:28what I thought of him
01:04:29and I said
01:04:30oh I like him
01:04:31I should have stood up
01:04:32to him that day
01:04:33and thrown him
01:04:33out of my house
01:04:35charlie you were 10
01:04:37sal was right
01:04:37i got chicken blood
01:04:40had it my whole life
01:04:45but that stops right now
01:04:48louis reach into my pants
01:04:50oh charlie don't do this
01:04:52go out like a man
01:04:53look we all have urges
01:04:55I remember this one time
01:04:56there was this well-built
01:04:58latino
01:04:58louis my scissors
01:04:59reach into my pants
01:05:01and get my scissors
01:05:03okay
01:05:07okay
01:05:07okay louis
01:05:08are you ready to go
01:05:09you bet
01:05:14you think you can distract him
01:05:16you mean
01:05:16make him watch this hand
01:05:18instead of this one
01:05:20piece of cake
01:05:21all right
01:05:23freeze sucker
01:05:26get your hands up
01:05:27and turn slowly
01:05:34I'm warning you
01:05:36in 1983
01:05:37I was the starting pitcher
01:05:39in the little league
01:05:40world series
01:05:42I struck out
01:05:4316 Taiwanese all-stars
01:05:45to this day
01:05:46the people of Asia
01:05:47call me
01:05:48which means
01:05:50big black man
01:05:51pretending to be 12
01:05:59my name's Carbone
01:06:00which means
01:06:01skinny white boy
01:06:01with the gun
01:06:03good work
01:06:08now let's turn
01:06:10these camels around
01:06:13each other
01:06:14fuck
01:06:16oh
01:06:21oh
01:06:23oh
01:06:25oh
01:06:31oh
01:06:31oh
01:06:59I said they'd be here.
01:07:01They're trying to put a swifty on me and I don't have much like that.
01:07:04There's also an area further along.
01:07:07I'm tired of your howling.
01:07:11What in bloody...
01:07:14Change of plan, Smith.
01:07:19Come on, UQ. Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
01:07:24Jesse, come here.
01:07:26Easy, darling.
01:07:27Drop the knife, Smith.
01:07:32You ever held a gun before, Charlie?
01:07:36Don't answer that.
01:07:38No.
01:07:41You ever killed a man, Charlie?
01:07:43Don't answer that.
01:07:45No.
01:07:47What do you do for a living that makes you so brave, Charlie?
01:07:51Really?
01:07:52Really?
01:07:52Don't answer that.
01:07:57I'm a hairdresser.
01:07:59Now drop the knife.
01:08:02Come here, Jesse.
01:08:03Mm-hmm.
01:08:03Yeah.
01:08:04We bad.
01:08:07If you think you're off the hook just because you came back for me.
01:08:11Never crossed my mind.
01:08:12No.
01:08:15You better hope that's someone coming to rescue you.
01:08:21Frankie!
01:08:23What are you doing here?
01:08:24Sal heard you were having a bit of trouble so he sent us to help you out.
01:08:27Who the hell are you?
01:08:28Frank Lombardo.
01:08:30Frank Lombardo.
01:08:30I represent the interest of Salvatore Marzio.
01:08:33You must be Smith.
01:08:35You're not wrong.
01:08:38What's going on here, huh?
01:08:39These guys were trying to kill us.
01:08:41Looks like we got here just in time.
01:08:46You did good, kid.
01:08:48Now put that gun down before you hurt yourself.
01:08:50Hey?
01:08:55That's cool.
01:08:57Wow, Frankie.
01:08:59I never thought I'd be happy to see you.
01:09:02Hmm.
01:09:04Oh, uh, Frankie, this is Jesse.
01:09:06Jesse, this is Frankie.
01:09:08Yeah.
01:09:09Hi.
01:09:09You see, uh, Lewis and I, we, uh, fell a little behind schedule.
01:09:14Yeah, yeah.
01:09:14And so, you know, Jesse, she came along to help us get back on schedule again.
01:09:17And so, you know, you did...
01:09:19Uh-oh.
01:09:20I know all about it, Charlie.
01:09:24So you know about Jackie Legs?
01:09:26From Canasi?
01:09:28He's involved in this?
01:09:30No, you guys are so sneaky and clever I didn't know.
01:09:33Hurricanes leave smaller trails than you two morons.
01:09:40Sal's very disappointed to hear you lost that money.
01:09:46We'll get the money back.
01:09:47It's too late for that, Charlie.
01:09:50This time you screwed up big.
01:09:51The final straw big.
01:09:53Enough of the claptrap.
01:09:54That money's mine.
01:09:56Zip the lip, Dundee.
01:09:58We had a contract and it didn't involve no bloody rude.
01:10:01Hey.
01:10:03I had to come all the way down here to the sphincter of the galaxy to straighten out this puked
01:10:09-up furball of a mess.
01:10:10Do not agitate me.
01:10:12We had a contract.
01:10:13Do not agitate me.
01:10:37We had a contract.
01:10:39Do not agitate me.
01:10:40They're not after you.
01:10:41I wish we got to get the money.
01:10:43It's our only chance.
01:10:44We drive the ruin to the canyon.
01:10:45We can corner them there.
01:10:46We?
01:10:47We did have a deal.
01:11:00Enough!
01:11:04Contract terminated.
01:11:06Get in the car.
01:11:11There he goes!
01:11:13Turn him into the canyon!
01:11:19Ya!
01:11:21Ah!
01:11:22Frankie!
01:11:31Ya!
01:11:32Ya!
01:11:35Ya!
01:11:38Come on!
01:11:39Ya!
01:11:41Ya!
01:11:41You got it.
01:11:52Shoot it, damn you, Eddie!
01:11:56I could've stayed in Brooklyn for this!
01:12:01Come on, baby!
01:12:07Hold on.
01:12:15I hate this country like a sickness.
01:12:20Not me, them!
01:12:23My bad.
01:12:27Damn, ranch!
01:12:29Get the dumb thing out of my face!
01:12:30I got him!
01:12:33Watch your head!
01:12:35Watch out!
01:12:36For what?
01:12:45Oh, man, tight feet!
01:12:47Ah, crap!
01:12:49Yeah!
01:12:53Whoa!
01:12:54Whoa!
01:13:07Lewis, he's coming to you!
01:13:09Go get him, big guy!
01:13:11I'm going to get the money, Charlie!
01:13:12I'm going to get the money!
01:13:16I'm going to get the money!
01:13:16Oh, my God.
01:13:20Lewis!
01:13:21Watch out!
01:13:25Lewis, no!
01:13:26Stay still, Jackie Legs!
01:13:30I got it!
01:13:32I got it!
01:13:33I got the money!
01:13:34I got the money!
01:13:38Lewis!
01:13:42Lewis!
01:13:44Hurry, Charlie!
01:13:46I'll spit this, Charlie!
01:13:51Charlie!
01:13:53Lewis, grab my hand.
01:13:55Lewis!
01:13:57Oh, my God!
01:14:00Charlie!
01:14:01Hold on, Lewis!
01:14:04Give me your belt!
01:14:05Give me your belt!
01:14:06You're going to be all right!
01:14:07Charlie!
01:14:08Grab that rope!
01:14:09Grab that rope!
01:14:10I'll spit this!
01:14:11Charlie, help me!
01:14:17Charlie!
01:14:20Grab the belt, Lewis!
01:14:21Ah!
01:14:23Ah!
01:14:24Ah!
01:14:25Ah!
01:14:25Ah!
01:14:25I can't beat you, Charlie!
01:14:27Grab the damned belt!
01:14:31It's known over, Lewis!
01:14:34Ah!
01:14:36Ah!
01:14:37Ah!
01:14:39Ah!
01:14:40Ah!
01:14:41Ah!
01:14:42Ah!
01:14:43Ah!
01:14:44Ah!
01:14:44Ah!
01:14:45Ah! Ah!
01:14:52Ah!
01:14:53Ah!
01:14:53Ah!
01:14:54Ah!
01:14:55Ah!
01:14:56Ah!
01:14:57Ah!
01:14:58Ah!
01:15:01Ah!
01:15:05Ah!
01:15:16I'm gonna name my first son after you.
01:15:20Crazy-ass white boy.
01:15:29Let go of me!
01:15:32Let go of me!
01:15:36This is from Sal Marzio.
01:15:38Frankie, we got the money back.
01:15:39We got it back.
01:15:42We got it.
01:15:44You don't get it, do you, Charlie?
01:15:46Sal's not disappointed because he cares about the money.
01:15:49He's disappointed because you two aren't dead.
01:15:54What do you think he was paying Smith 50 grand for?
01:16:00You mean we traveled halfway across the world to pay for our own execution?
01:16:05Yeah.
01:16:06You two guys were the bag men for your own hit.
01:16:09Pretty clever, eh?
01:16:11Not on our part.
01:16:13Say goodnight.
01:16:23This is Senior Sergeant Jimmy Icamala.
01:16:26Australian Police.
01:16:27Mr. Jimmy?
01:16:28Drop your weapon and place your hands in.
01:16:42Hey, Frankie!
01:16:44Go long!
01:17:01I am Bolo, man.
01:17:02That's what I'm talking about.
01:17:09Yes.
01:17:10Mr. Smith was one of our most notorious contract killers.
01:17:13We got a tip from the FBI that he was somehow involved with the Maggio family.
01:17:18Yeah, and when Frankie Lombardo called looking for a guide, I was waiting.
01:17:21I'm just glad I made it in time.
01:17:24You pansy-ass retards are dead.
01:17:27You hear me?
01:17:27Dead!
01:17:28I slaughter you like veal!
01:17:30I wear your eyeballs like jewelry!
01:17:31I've always found the Brooklyn vernacular fascinating.
01:17:38Quite colorful, really.
01:17:40Hey, Frankie!
01:17:40Can I have your Yankees tickets?
01:17:50There you are!
01:17:52They were full!
01:17:53They're radioing Alice Springs to send another chopper for us.
01:17:57What's up, man?
01:18:03Charlie.
01:18:06Something really important happened here today.
01:18:10You saved my life.
01:18:13Yeah, I know.
01:18:14So now we're even.
01:18:15Exactly.
01:18:16You don't owe me anymore.
01:18:18You're rid of me.
01:18:19What are you talking about?
01:18:20I'm rid of you.
01:18:21Come on, Charlie.
01:18:22Guilt was the glue that held this friendship together.
01:18:26You never needed me.
01:18:27You're wrong, Lewis.
01:18:29I've always needed you.
01:18:34You know when you call me up and you're like,
01:18:37Yo, Charlie, you gotta help me drive some greyhounds up from Florida.
01:18:40And I make out like I'm doing you this big favor?
01:18:44Truth is, you're doing me the favor.
01:18:47Every story in my life worth telling starts with the words,
01:18:51Lewis and I.
01:18:54Come on, get away from me with that, man.
01:19:01You think we're friends because you saved my life once?
01:19:06You save my life every day, Lewis.
01:19:19Uh, guys?
01:19:22Hold on a second.
01:19:24We're having a very intimate non-gay moment.
01:19:27Take a look.
01:19:35Hey.
01:19:37What are you doing?
01:19:39Hello, Jackie Legs.
01:19:47Here you go, boy.
01:19:49Huh?
01:19:50Here you go.
01:19:51Yeah.
01:19:53That's a boy.
01:19:55Good boy.
01:19:57Here you are.
01:19:59Hey there, little guy.
01:20:01Yeah.
01:20:02There you go.
01:20:05Yeah.
01:20:06That's a boy.
01:20:07Good boy.
01:20:08Here you are.
01:20:11Good boy.
01:20:13Here you go.
01:20:15Hey.
01:20:31So long, Jackie Legs.
01:20:39Hey.
01:20:40Would you look at that?
01:20:42Lewis?
01:20:43Your lucky jacket.
01:20:44I don't think so.
01:20:46Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:20:47Hear me out.
01:20:47What?
01:20:48If you hadn't put the money in the jacket, then the jacket on the kangaroo, we would have
01:20:51delivered the money to Smith and he would have killed us.
01:20:54Your lucky jacket.
01:20:57Get my jacket, man.
01:20:58I'd say I told you this was lucky.
01:20:59Didn't I tell you this was my lucky jacket?
01:21:06Look, Lewis.
01:21:07He's back.
01:21:10And he's got a family.
01:21:15Hey.
01:21:16You must be Jackie Junior.
01:21:18You're a cute little guy, aren't you?
01:21:21Oh.
01:21:23Oh.
01:21:23Oh.
01:21:24Oh.
01:21:24Oh.
01:21:26Oh, my God.
01:21:28Are you all right?
01:21:35So that's my story.
01:21:37Well, not quite.
01:21:39Frankie and his goons were put away for good.
01:21:42As for Sal, he used all his high-level connections to avoid going to prison.
01:21:46And you know what?
01:21:49It wasn't enough.
01:21:52Jessie, she ended up marrying some filthy rich tycoon.
01:21:55Hey, honey.
01:21:57Hi, honey.
01:21:58Yep.
01:21:59The filthy rich dude?
01:22:00That's me.
01:22:01Lewis and I used the 50 grand as start-up money, and now snakeskin lily berry shampoo is
01:22:07the biggest thing in hair care since beat Al Sassoon.
01:22:09Got the latest numbers in from Europe.
01:22:11Think you're gonna like them.
01:22:12I love numbers.
01:22:14Hey, partner.
01:22:15I got the new numbers.
01:22:19Partner?
01:22:20Partner?
01:22:21Partner?
01:22:21Look out for us!
01:22:26Look out for us!
01:22:26I'm so good.
01:22:27I'm so good.
01:22:29I'm so good.
01:22:30I'm so good.
01:22:30I'm so good.
01:22:31I'm so good.
01:22:33I'm so good.
01:22:33Come on.
01:22:34Woo-hoo!
01:22:36What?
01:22:37Just trying my newest idea.
01:22:39Waterproof mousse.
01:22:40How you like it?
01:22:45So that's me.
01:22:47Charlie Carbone.
01:22:48The one with the beautiful girl.
01:22:50All the money I could ever want.
01:22:51And my best friend, Lewis, who saved my life more times than he'll ever know.
01:22:59Oh-
01:23:00I'm gonna soak up the sun.
01:23:05We're gonna tell everyone to light it.
01:23:11Wait a minute.
01:23:12The movie's called Kangaroo Jack.
01:23:15it should end with me I'm a serious classically trained actor I can sing I
01:23:21can dance and I can jump out of the way of explosions ah oh yep no that's gonna
01:23:26leave a mark and I can do impersonations come on people throw me a freaking bone
01:23:31I have a son I shall call him mini-roo now that should be the way you end a
01:23:38film with the star someone call my agent the dead dead dead that's all bloke
01:24:08hey hey baby I want to know if you'll be my girl
01:24:17hey hey baby I want to know if you'll be my girl
01:24:34when I saw you walking down the street I said that's the kind of girl I like to meet
01:24:41she's so pretty look just fine I'm gonna make her mine all mine
01:24:48hey hey baby I want to know if you'll be my girl
01:25:03when you turn and walk away that's where I want to say come on baby give me a world
01:25:13I want to know I want to know when you turn and walk away that's where I want to say
01:25:23come on baby give me a world come on baby give me a world I want to know if you'll
01:25:29be my girl
01:25:31hey hey baby I want to know if you'll be my girl
01:25:42hey hey baby I want to know if you'll be my girl
01:26:00hey hey baby I want to know if you'll be my girl
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