- 5 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:04Please save my child.
00:00:22Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:41Rejuvenate.
00:00:50Graze, she is the healer goddess.
00:00:54No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:57I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:03Here you go, miss.
00:01:08Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:12in need?
00:01:25You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:30run!
00:01:33Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:42Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:47Rejuvenate.
00:01:53See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:58Come on, Cleo. Let's go.
00:02:10Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:16Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:20We have no idea what the illness is. If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:24The Elizander Armstrong! His military family basically owns the entire global stock market!
00:02:30He's so hot!
00:02:32Does he come with the money?
00:02:34Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:36Money. Fame. Power. It's all yours.
00:02:44Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:47Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:50Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:54Grandma!
00:02:55I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:02:58Grandma?
00:03:00Grandma.
00:03:02When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:05I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:07And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:14Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:21You're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:25No!
00:03:35Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:38Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:42Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:45The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:49What? Oh, jeez. This is giving me a migraine now.
00:03:54Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:57I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:00Okay. Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:04:05I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:10Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:12Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:17Hold still.
00:04:24What? My migraine's gone. Okay, then let's go. If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you. Come on.
00:04:31Come on.
00:04:31Oh!
00:04:45How is he? What is the diagnosis? Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:51I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:54Aren't you the queen of medicine? You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:57Don't worry, General. I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:03I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:24I have no clue what this is.
00:05:28Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:33That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:36Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:38I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:50He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:52Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:05:59Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:06:05If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:10Who?
00:06:14The goddess of healing.
00:06:17Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:22That's correct. Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:28That's her motto.
00:06:29It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:32We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:34She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:40If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:45bankrupt.
00:06:46I will find her. James, come put out a bounty.
00:06:51To the entire world, whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:57There's no need.
00:07:12I'll save your son.
00:07:15Who the hell is she?
00:07:16Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:18She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:20Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:22How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:25Exactly. God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:29She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:32Ew! She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:36I bet it has fleas.
00:07:38That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:42Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:49Don't touch him.
00:07:52They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:54But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:57So step aside.
00:07:59I'll take it from here.
00:08:01Could you hold this?
00:08:02Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:03You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:05I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:10I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:12I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:18Who knows what an unskilled whore girl like her would do for some.
00:08:22A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:29Ew!
00:08:30Disgusting.
00:08:31Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:32Security!
00:08:34Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:37Let's go.
00:08:38If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:45Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander into no avail.
00:08:50Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:53You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:56All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:08:59But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:05Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:08You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:10And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:13But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:18Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:20No, Miss Trixie, my brother is a hero to me.
00:09:24I can't lose him.
00:09:26Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:32My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:37Also, he's great with puppies. He'd make a great husband.
00:09:42Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:43As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:50Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:53I mean, look at her.
00:09:54Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:00Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:04Continue wasting your time.
00:10:06But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:20Okay, what's happening? What are we doing?
00:10:33What the hell are you doing?
00:10:36I knew she was a perv.
00:10:38She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:41Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:45Are you insane?
00:10:46Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:50He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:10:57Yeah, right.
00:10:58I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:11:01Oh, okay.
00:11:02I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:05I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:08And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:15This?
00:11:22It is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:25What?
00:11:27What?
00:11:27So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, the rod of a sepulis?
00:11:33Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:38I agree.
00:11:39I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
00:11:45years?
00:11:46We are all certified.
00:11:48But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:51She's right about everything.
00:11:55Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:00And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
00:12:04Endogenic cryomorphy.
00:12:06Oh.
00:12:06And of course, none of you have heard of it.
00:12:08Because I just discovered it.
00:12:10This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:14The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:16A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:19But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:24What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:26I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:30Precisely.
00:12:31You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:34You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:39I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:42Oh, so she went to the stripper circus instead.
00:12:46And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:50which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:54Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:56Oh my God.
00:12:58If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:02I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:05Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:09What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:10It means you're being schooled by me, and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:16Then let's have a bet.
00:13:18If you can't heal him, break your hands.
00:13:24And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:30These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:34You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:37Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:41There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:44Don't worry.
00:13:46I got this.
00:13:49It's a deal.
00:13:51I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:53No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:01Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:08Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:12Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:24I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:27I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:30I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:35Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:38Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:14:39What for?
00:14:39Don't listen to her.
00:14:42She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:47Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:51Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:14:58What?
00:14:59Did you just call me?
00:15:02There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:07Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:11Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:17Oh, yeah?
00:15:18Hey, you want to see real pain?
00:15:19Where's the dog?
00:15:20Well, put down the dog!
00:15:22With pleasure.
00:15:39Left leaves the wrong breath.
00:15:45You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:50She's been poisoned!
00:15:53It was her!
00:15:54Do you see any poison on me?
00:15:57Medicine in the right hands can save lives.
00:15:59But in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:03This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:06Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:08Of course.
00:16:10I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:13If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:23Oh!
00:16:25Oh!
00:16:25Oh!
00:16:26Oh!
00:16:27Oh!
00:16:27Oh!
00:16:29Oh!
00:16:33Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:34This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:36I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way, angel herbalist.
00:16:40This is what I call malpractice.
00:16:45This isn't fatal.
00:16:46She'll live.
00:16:47But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:49Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:51Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:52Right this way.
00:16:54Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:55What the hell is going on?
00:16:57You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:01Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:02Every second counts.
00:17:05Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:10Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:17:11General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:16Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:20Hold on, you two are going in there alone?
00:17:24If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone
00:17:29in.
00:17:30All right, but I warn you, no funny business.
00:17:50Let's go for it.
00:18:36You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General
00:18:40Armstrong.
00:18:41Exactly.
00:18:41What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:18:43She could blackmail you.
00:18:46For millions.
00:18:47That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:18:49And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
00:18:53Held for ransom.
00:18:55By a homeless woman.
00:18:56Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:18:59We have to have faith.
00:19:01Where did you actually find this low life?
00:19:04Uh, on the streets.
00:19:08Are you shitting me?
00:19:10You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:12Are you nuts?
00:19:13You don't know her.
00:19:14You don't know her background.
00:19:15She could be a psychotic murder.
00:19:17That is it, General.
00:19:18You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:20You're right.
00:19:20That's it.
00:19:21I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:23James, let's go.
00:19:24Yes, sir.
00:19:35I told you all to stay out.
00:19:42This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:44We can't be interrupted.
00:19:46Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:51I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:19:57I'm going to save him myself.
00:19:59No.
00:20:04You see that, General?
00:20:05This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:07This is a witchcraft.
00:20:10I know what this is.
00:20:12This is the dark witch.
00:20:14I've heard of her.
00:20:15She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men,
00:20:20and then she eats them alive.
00:20:21I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:24James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:27Yes, sir.
00:20:31You regain consciousness.
00:20:43Help me.
00:20:43I just want to...
00:20:49Something's wrong.
00:20:53You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:55Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:00That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:10Sir?
00:21:11The SWAT team is here.
00:21:13Captain Morales.
00:21:15My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:21I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:24Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:25We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:33Right.
00:21:34Rewrites the wrong.
00:21:39Human.
00:21:43Who the fuck are you?
00:21:44And why the hell are we niggas?
00:21:47Good.
00:21:48You're awake.
00:21:50I'm saving you.
00:21:51Saving me?
00:21:52By bathing with me?
00:21:54Who are you?
00:21:55You're a fucking spy?
00:21:57Talk!
00:21:58I swear to God, we'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:01You were the one who was trying to kiss me in your stipper.
00:22:06I will never.
00:22:07Oh, really?
00:22:22Look who's guilty now.
00:22:25Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right, but it is a biological fact.
00:22:29A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:35It's science, okay?
00:22:36It just means that my body is physically...
00:22:41You distracted me with your friend.
00:22:43And I'm a professional.
00:22:45I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:47Captain, do something now.
00:22:49Ready!
00:22:55We're almost there.
00:22:57Aim!
00:22:59Get him, boys.
00:23:00Get him!
00:23:03Fire!
00:23:06Fire!
00:23:22Those inus seals.
00:23:23How is this possible?
00:23:25It's not even a scratch.
00:23:27I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:29Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:32No.
00:23:32I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:35She's not the dark witch.
00:23:37Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:41This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:44How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:47That's right.
00:23:47The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:51If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:54Except for the goddess healer.
00:23:56Think about it.
00:23:57We heard Lysander's voice.
00:23:58He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:00Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:02You're right.
00:24:03This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
00:24:08Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
00:24:11No!
00:24:13Absolutely not.
00:24:14There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:17How could you know for sure?
00:24:19Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:22You're wrong, sir!
00:24:23This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:28It's called borderline revival.
00:24:30She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:33But only temporarily.
00:24:35It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:40That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:42I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing witch.
00:24:48My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:50He is dying right now, naked, in a jacuzzi, with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:55Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:24:57The witch doctor.
00:24:58Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:03My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:05You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:09I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:15from me.
00:25:17This is it.
00:25:19The finishing touch.
00:25:21I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:23So we can both survive.
00:25:43It's poison gas.
00:25:46Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:51Poison gas?
00:25:52My son is in there.
00:25:54You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:25:56No, don't worry, General.
00:25:57Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:01Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
00:26:04Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:06And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:09They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:14I made a promise to you that I'd save you.
00:26:17But now we're never.
00:26:31What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:33It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:34Wait a second.
00:26:36You don't think that they're...
00:26:38You!
00:26:39You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:41Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:43If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:26:47Oh my god.
00:26:47Yeah, she's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:50I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:54Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that
00:26:55if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:26:58This is taking way too long.
00:27:01Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
00:27:05These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:08Bazooka.
00:27:09She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:12Crap. Oh my god. Get back, sucker.
00:27:15Ready.
00:27:17Aim.
00:27:18Oh, shit.
00:27:23Quit your whining and stand down.
00:27:37The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:39Shoot her dead now.
00:27:40Do I need to fix your hearing, too?
00:27:42I said stand down.
00:27:45Don't listen to her.
00:27:47She's a fraud.
00:27:48A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:50I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:53If I'm a termite, then...
00:27:55You're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:27:58Wait a second.
00:27:59Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:02He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:03You can see for yourself.
00:28:05Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:08That is it.
00:28:09No more stalling, General.
00:28:10If you won't punish her, I will.
00:28:16Don't hurt her.
00:28:22He's a cure.
00:28:29His pulse is regular.
00:28:30In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:35There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:46Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:48Lysander's warm again.
00:28:49He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:52And his heart is strong.
00:28:53Come, feel it.
00:28:56I saved my son.
00:28:59Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:02Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:07I've learned my lesson.
00:29:08I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:13Wait, wait.
00:29:14No, no.
00:29:15There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen,
00:29:20angel, and I.
00:29:23The goddess healer.
00:29:29Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:31But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look a
00:29:37day after 20.
00:29:38It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:40What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:43Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:47Take care.
00:29:48No, wait.
00:29:50Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:52He's right.
00:29:54We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife
00:29:58if you cured him, and you did just that.
00:30:01Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:05I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
00:30:09I am already engaged.
00:30:14Already engaged?
00:30:15I am.
00:30:16I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years, and he's coming back today.
00:30:22But don't be disappointed.
00:30:24Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:26I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:29Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:32But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:33Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:36Take the gold.
00:30:37No, really.
00:30:39I don't need anything.
00:30:41I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:46Trixie, it's your fiance.
00:30:49He's back, and he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:54I must go.
00:31:01Hobo close.
00:31:03Halo glow.
00:31:04I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:07It was just dumb luck.
00:31:09She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:12She could have been the richest woman in the world.
00:31:14Marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:21I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:26Oh my god.
00:31:28I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:31:34No, no, no, no, no, Lysander.
00:31:37Lysander, our job is supposed to be mine.
00:31:41I'd so much rather share him with me than let that panty-laced, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:45You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:48Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:52Wait, no, we're not for us.
00:31:54No, she's just better than us.
00:31:57Oh my god.
00:32:01We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:04She's no average Jane.
00:32:05No, she isn't.
00:32:06She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:08But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and
00:32:13had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:15But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:16No normal person could have done that.
00:32:18Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:22I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:23I have to find her.
00:32:24I have to make her my life.
00:32:26She won my heart over, too.
00:32:28But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:31All right, listen.
00:32:33I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:40I'm dumping Trixie, so I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house now.
00:32:48Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:50She waited for you for three years.
00:32:53She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:32:55And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:32:57One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:00So get lost.
00:33:02Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:11Grandma.
00:33:12Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:16I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:18I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:22In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:25So sign over the house now.
00:33:32You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:35And I did.
00:33:36For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:39Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:42And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:45Do you have no shame?
00:33:46We were together for three years and it was a complete waste of my life when I could have been
00:33:51with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:33:58That's how much she would owe me if I was in the rent-to-boyfriend business.
00:34:03I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:12Oh yeah?
00:34:14Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
00:34:18She grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:21And now she's the CEO of an entire corporation.
00:34:28And you?
00:34:30You're still nothing.
00:34:32So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:34Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:37Look what she got me for my engagement.
00:34:40Oops.
00:34:41Yeah.
00:34:43That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:52You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:54I certainly did.
00:34:55In fact, Marissa, you and your dim-wit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:07Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:09That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:12You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:35:16My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:35:22How dare you insult her?
00:35:25It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:27Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:30Poor Edna.
00:35:31She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:34What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:35:36Show her, Bob.
00:35:42This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:35:45She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:47She was begging on the street for money.
00:35:51I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:54Even if you got no game.
00:35:55I got street credit I got off keep.
00:35:57You dig?
00:35:58The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:01And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:05Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:09I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:12I want to see how regular, everyday people live so that I can help them.
00:36:17Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
00:36:21What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:23It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:36:32Enough bullshitting already.
00:36:33Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:36:48At your wedding, I will.
00:36:50What?
00:36:52If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend,
00:36:57why should I do good by you?
00:36:59I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
00:37:05Fucking bitch!
00:37:06You better keep your word.
00:37:07Oh, that's rich.
00:37:09After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:37:12Do remember that.
00:37:21Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:23They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:28Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:37:31I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:34Trillions?
00:37:37That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:37:41It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
00:37:47I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:37:50That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:37:56It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:00But please, Trixie dear, I know it was to broken your heart.
00:38:05But embellishing your worth and who you are, it will only delay the healing process.
00:38:11You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:38:14After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical pills.
00:38:19I vowed that I would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:38:23That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to charity.
00:38:27You've always had an angel's heart.
00:38:30I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right.
00:38:33Who actually deserves you.
00:38:35You will see tomorrow, grandma.
00:38:39Oh, yeah.
00:38:45You said Trixie's crashing at my wedding.
00:38:47She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:50She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:38:54When nobody steps on Snake, Snake bites back hard.
00:38:58So let her comment embarrass herself.
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:02You mean, we broadcast that video of me?
00:39:10Yes.
00:39:11Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:39:14She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess against my
00:39:19presidential glow up.
00:39:20Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:39:29There he is.
00:39:32Welcome home, brother.
00:39:34Welcome home, General!
00:39:38Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:43He served with your regiment in the Marines.
00:39:45You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies.
00:39:48Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:52So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her.
00:39:55Fucking coward.
00:39:56According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:39:59Then we should join her.
00:40:02Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
00:40:07So she needs our support.
00:40:09Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:10Yes, sir!
00:40:11We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
00:40:14Well, let's roll.
00:40:30Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:40:33Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:40:35Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract,
00:40:40allowing my biomedical company to go public.
00:40:47Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:40:49Wakeham.
00:40:50Stowe, Butch is taking my last name.
00:40:53Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:40:56You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a partay after all.
00:41:01I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:07The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
00:41:13It's an honor.
00:41:14And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:41:19We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:22We'll let the wedding begin.
00:41:25Not so fast.
00:41:27The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:41:51You two really are a match made in hell.
00:41:54So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:41:58I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles.
00:42:00Who is she?
00:42:01Um, this is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:05Just watch.
00:42:08Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:10This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:11You lost.
00:42:12I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
00:42:14You know, being this poor.
00:42:18Me, bum a meal.
00:42:20Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:42:23And what evidence do you have of that?
00:42:25Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:42:28I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:30Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:42:34And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:37Sasa, she's like so obsessed with me.
00:42:40She loves me.
00:42:41See, everyone?
00:42:43Butch already cut ties with his ex.
00:42:45But she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my wedding to suck up to me.
00:42:51This is what poor, sad girls do.
00:42:54They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:42:58Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:00You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:04Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:12You, giving me the contract?
00:43:15You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:43:18So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president to give me a billion
00:43:24dollar contract?
00:43:25We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:27And I saw potential in you.
00:43:29Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:43:31But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:35Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
00:43:38This is what us rich girls do.
00:43:41They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:43Damn right.
00:43:45You were too embarrassing for me.
00:43:48Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:50I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:43:53Bravo.
00:43:54Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:43:56Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
00:43:58Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:44:00She'll make her sup.
00:44:01Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:02She's the gold digging, blood sucking leech.
00:44:05I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, butch.
00:44:12You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:44:16Okay, enough.
00:44:17You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:44:19Your moral posturing.
00:44:21But guess what?
00:44:23Morals are just lies to make you and girls feel better about yourselves.
00:44:26That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:30Because I've got the material goods.
00:44:32And you're just all empty talk.
00:44:34I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:44:36Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:44:40See this?
00:44:52Oh my god.
00:44:54Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:44:58The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:01No, absolutely not.
00:45:03I don't believe it.
00:45:04You all sound so scared already.
00:45:06Don't worry.
00:45:07This isn't that contract.
00:45:10It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:45:15See everyone?
00:45:17She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:18But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:45:20Look at her following orders.
00:45:22I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:45:25Like a good little peasant slave.
00:45:27That house is worth all her life savings.
00:45:33You want to, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:45:47You must understand me.
00:45:49I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:45:51And I'm giving it to charity.
00:45:59Bro!
00:46:01She's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:02She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket-investing
00:46:06baddie.
00:46:07You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:10It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:12Uh, I know what this is.
00:46:15You've gone delusional.
00:46:16And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some Prince Charming will
00:46:21scoop you into money forever?
00:46:23Well, that's not happening.
00:46:24Security!
00:46:25Lock the doors.
00:46:26This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:46:32This is where your dreams will die, bitch!
00:46:37We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:39She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:42Butch Tanner.
00:46:43Well, he's gonna wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:46:46Let's go.
00:46:50You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:46:53I've saved plenty of people for much worse.
00:46:56Including your head of command, Butch.
00:46:59General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:01You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:04He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:07You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:12So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:18No one here is gonna believe you.
00:47:19If you really cured the incurable general, then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:47:24And she's not.
00:47:25You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:28Show them, Butch.
00:47:31Oh my god.
00:47:35See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:37Trixie's just a freeloading beggar.
00:47:42She won't leave me and Marissa alone, because we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:47I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:49Sasa, she has a billion-dollar biomedical contract with the military.
00:47:55Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
00:47:59How despicable.
00:48:01She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:05Get out of here.
00:48:05No one wants to marry you.
00:48:07No free meals for the poor!
00:48:09Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:11This is high society, so you're either born on a silver spoon, or you're as accomplished
00:48:16as me to be here.
00:48:17Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in
00:48:23your tin can.
00:48:26I already have everything one can dream of, but I valued our friendship, Marissa, which
00:48:31is why I came here to give you a second chance, to see if you'd apologize and admit to your
00:48:35backstabbing.
00:48:36But no.
00:48:37You stooped so low, it disgusts me.
00:48:41Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
00:48:45And who knows, if you've already started offering sexual services?
00:48:51Well then, why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:48:54My brother will never take you back.
00:48:57No man will marry an embarrassment like you.
00:49:00But make me happy?
00:49:02I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:49:16How dare you hit my brother?
00:49:18I'm never letting you leave here alive.
00:49:20It's awesome.
00:49:22I do something.
00:49:23Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:25After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:49:30Oh, is that so?
00:49:33Security!
00:49:35Get down on your knees and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here,
00:49:41or I'll pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:45I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:49:48Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
00:49:53Dream on!
00:49:55You wish General Licentor scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
00:49:59You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:01Enough!
00:50:02You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm going to shoot you.
00:50:09On the count of three!
00:50:10I think I quite like it here.
00:50:12Two!
00:50:24This wine is so delicious.
00:50:27One!
00:50:28Shoot!
00:50:30Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:50:55I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:50:57Did they hurt you?
00:50:59No, I'm fine.
00:51:01But, um, when did I become your future wife?
00:51:06You saved me, Trixie, remember?
00:51:08I'm a man of my word.
00:51:10They're never going to hurt you ever again.
00:51:12Really, it was nothing.
00:51:15I saved you because you're a good man, not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:51:25I see what this is.
00:51:26You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:51:29Look at you guys, all lovey-dove.
00:51:31Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:32She waited for you for three years.
00:51:33This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
00:51:38Virtue?
00:51:40Don't make me laugh.
00:51:41She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:44No man who went in a hundred-foot pole would want to touch her.
00:51:48She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:51:55I see her in the Marines.
00:51:58I'm a major.
00:51:59You know, look, man, I know Trixie is like a, I don't know, a seven now that she's all cleaned
00:52:05up, but don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:52:15A real man never talks about a woman that way.
00:52:19You're a coward.
00:52:29We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them.
00:52:34You're very gracious, Trixie, you know that?
00:52:38You're only getting off with it because she's so kind, so you're going to do me the favor
00:52:42of never coming near her again.
00:52:43You understand?
00:52:44You want to fuck with me, little dipshit?
00:52:46I'm a fucking major.
00:52:48You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts.
00:52:50I'll, I'll destroy you.
00:52:52Do you really not know who this is, Butch?
00:52:55I thought you were in the Marines.
00:52:56What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:01He was just a supply boy.
00:53:05War hero?
00:53:07Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:09Poor girl.
00:53:11Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:15A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries.
00:53:17Trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:53:23A bum girl and a pimp.
00:53:25What a pair.
00:53:28It seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long.
00:53:31Maybe we should try to pay some off some more.
00:53:33Don't you think?
00:53:36Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:44What is all this?
00:53:46Trixie, listen.
00:53:47I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life.
00:53:51But I know that we shared a moment.
00:53:56I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear.
00:53:59It's not in my nature.
00:54:02I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:04Listen, Trixie, I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:11So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:14So I know that you're the one for me.
00:54:19This guy's either nuts or a really, really good actor.
00:54:23Oscar worthy.
00:54:25Oscar worthy.
00:54:26No.
00:54:27First gift.
00:54:33Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:54:35So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:54:39Worth $500 million.
00:54:41Previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:45Second gift.
00:54:48This contains all the rights to my entire fortune, which is now yours.
00:54:54Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:54:56It must be pennies.
00:54:58They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:00They've got nothing left.
00:55:02Why, Sander, I really don't care for any of you.
00:55:05No, look, I know.
00:55:07I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:10Okay?
00:55:10Which is exactly why my third gift is, um, well.
00:55:36You found my dog.
00:55:41Trixie, I'm just a man
00:55:42But with you, it's so much more
00:55:45Trixie Amore
00:55:49Will you marry me?
00:55:53You know I can't say no to this doggo
00:55:58Yes, I will marry you
00:56:16Go, go, power couple
00:56:19Okay, stop
00:56:21The only power couple here is Butch and I
00:56:25Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is
00:56:29No man in their right mind
00:56:32Would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:56:35Hey
00:56:36I don't care if she's homeless or not
00:56:37But I'm making this woman my wife
00:56:39Which means that she will be treated as
00:56:42And cherished as
00:56:43The most precious woman on earth
00:56:45Understand
00:56:50You still don't realize
00:56:51That my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:56:54This is General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:04As if
00:57:05Like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:08Would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie
00:57:11Yes, the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market
00:57:14Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England
00:57:17Than someone from the lowest rank of society
00:57:20I bet my life you're all just actors
00:57:23Then you better enjoy your last breath
00:57:25Come on, Lysander
00:57:26What are we waiting for?
00:57:27Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie
00:57:29What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us?
00:57:31The elites
00:57:32Infect us with your poor people bad luck?
00:57:35She wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:57:38Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum
00:57:43She's utterly unmarriable
00:57:47I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence
00:57:51I'd handle them myself, but
00:57:55I'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:57:57Go ahead, Lysander
00:58:05Yes, hello, this is Lysander
00:58:07Please bankrupt the Marissa Wickham for me
00:58:11Oh my gosh, I'm so scared
00:58:13Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:58:23Uh, hello?
00:58:25Yes
00:58:27What?
00:58:33I'm going bankrupt
00:58:42Hey, hey, hey
00:58:43Are you sure that was the call, Sasha?
00:58:46That was a real call?
00:58:47People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:58:49My company's dead
00:58:50It evaporated
00:58:52It's in thin air
00:58:56That's impossible
00:58:58Who are you?
00:58:59What is your deal?
00:59:00Secretary Cho
00:59:02You said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:04And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market
00:59:08Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:11Then that means
00:59:15You're really Lysander Armstrong
00:59:17The richest and most powerful man in the country
00:59:21Drake Sees-Marie
00:59:22The famed war hero
00:59:24The man every girl wants and every man wants to be
00:59:29Now you believe me?
00:59:30Those who do bad will always end up losing everything
00:59:34There's got to be some trick to this
00:59:36You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us
00:59:38It's awesome
00:59:47I know why you're all over Trixie
00:59:50Because you've been in the military for so long
00:59:52You don't know what a real woman can do for you
00:59:54Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time
01:00:00Leave your hands for me
01:00:02Or I'll have them removed for you
01:00:03I would never be interested in a woman
01:00:10Who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are
01:00:14Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:18Sasa was just trying to save the company
01:00:21I don't blame her at all
01:00:22Your double standards are incredible
01:00:24Okay, you don't want me
01:00:26Fine
01:00:27But there's plenty of other efficiency
01:00:29I can give you a room full of pageant winners
01:00:3118 years old
01:00:33Fresh for the taking
01:00:41I did that so you wouldn't have to
01:00:43Miss Trixie
01:00:44Thank you, Devin
01:00:47Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me
01:00:49Your best friend
01:00:51By stealing my fiance
01:00:53But now you'd sell out other innocent girls
01:00:55Just to get your company back
01:00:57You're an insult to all good women out there
01:00:59No, to all of humanity
01:01:01So now, everything that I've ever given you to
01:01:04I'm taking it all back
01:01:08Wait, everyone, stop
01:01:12They're imposters
01:01:17I just got off the phone with the president
01:01:19And she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:21Because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
01:01:24So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:27The goddess healer?
01:01:28You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage
01:01:30In the field of medicine
01:01:31Approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:34Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
01:01:38The goddess healer's motto is
01:01:40The right rewrites the wrong
01:01:42The left leaves the wrong
01:01:44The left
01:01:44That means she's rewarding me
01:01:47The president would never let your company go bankrupt
01:01:50In fact, she's on her way now
01:01:55So you're telling me
01:01:56This dashingly handsome motherfucker over here
01:01:59Isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:01Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:02If the president and the goddess healer
01:02:04Approves of my products
01:02:06Who cares about this washed up war hero?
01:02:08We can break his legs, break his arms
01:02:10No one would even bat an eye
01:02:11She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services
01:02:15FBI!
01:02:17FBI!
01:02:18You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft
01:02:23Gotcha
01:02:28Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie
01:02:30No, don't arrest her
01:02:33Trixie's a good person
01:02:35Please, officer, don't arrest her
01:02:37Grandma, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. Williams
01:02:40What are you all doing here?
01:02:41The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch
01:02:44We were worried, so we came here to back you up
01:02:47Listen, officer
01:02:48I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor
01:02:51She's very kind-hearted
01:02:53And would never break the law
01:02:55Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition
01:02:58Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out
01:03:02She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well
01:03:05My fiance really is an incredible woman
01:03:08She's an angel descended from heaven
01:03:15You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong
01:03:19My brother is not a criminal
01:03:21He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
01:03:25Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash
01:03:28And that's why it's twice the crime for stealing his identity
01:03:32General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist
01:03:36And we've received no word that he's woken up yet
01:03:38So this must be an imposter
01:03:41I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble
01:03:45I promise I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex
01:03:51If you want to arrest me, fine
01:03:54But don't fuck with my fiance
01:03:55You don't get to decide, punk
01:03:57Let's go!
01:04:21Get him!
01:04:22If you can
01:04:33Stop!
01:04:35Ah!
01:04:37Ah!
01:04:43Ah!
01:04:46Ah!
01:04:47Ah!
01:04:52Yah!
01:04:53Ow!
01:05:00Yah!
01:05:14Is that enough pain?
01:05:15Or do you want more?
01:05:25Legend is written all over you, Eicenander.
01:05:29Drama.
01:05:31Meet my new fiancé.
01:05:35Wow, your new fiancé?
01:05:37He's so manly.
01:05:39Much better than your last one.
01:05:41I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:44It's Butch's loss.
01:05:45Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:05:49She's like a shining star in the sky, and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:05:54Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:05:56I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, fam?
01:05:59Drown out the poor!
01:06:00Drown out the poor!
01:06:02Drown out the poor!
01:06:03Drown out the poor!
01:06:05Drown out the poor!
01:06:06Drown out the poor!
01:06:08See, Trixie?
01:06:09You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:11You can't compete against me, even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:15We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:17So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:22Let them eat, Kate!
01:06:33You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:35Grab what you can, fam.
01:06:36Attack!
01:06:54You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:03What the fuck was that?
01:07:04I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:07:06I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:07:20You forgot I had a gun, too.
01:07:23That'll teach you for messing with the wig hams.
01:07:25Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:27We're quartered.
01:07:28I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:30Devin, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:33I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:36They will be punished.
01:07:40Now hold still for me.
01:07:45Wright rewrites the world.
01:07:56Holy fuck!
01:07:58Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:07:59By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:01Is she the goddess healer?
01:08:06I'm all better now.
01:08:08Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:10See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:13No, please.
01:08:14I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:16Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:18Sure.
01:08:20You hear that?
01:08:21She's just some average homeless girl in the streets.
01:08:24She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:26While I do not care for glory,
01:08:28I do believe in justice.
01:08:31Marissa and Butch,
01:08:32not only have you betrayed me,
01:08:34but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:08:36I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:38And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:41God?
01:08:42Wrong.
01:08:44But you're close.
01:08:46Oh, bullshit.
01:08:47I'm gonna show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:08:52You want to cross the line so bad?
01:08:54Then let's see you try.
01:08:55Charge!
01:09:04The hell is this?
01:09:06This is the line between life and death.
01:09:10Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:13I'll admit it looks pretty good,
01:09:15but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:19You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:20What if it's a trap?
01:09:21That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:24We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:25She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:28Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:31I will.
01:09:34I will.
01:09:35Leaves the wrong bereft.
01:09:44I'm fine.
01:09:45Nothing happens.
01:09:46You'll see soon enough.
01:09:48Oh, please.
01:09:48I really want to die.
01:09:51And you call this the line between life and death?
01:09:53I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:09:55Whoops.
01:09:56Just frosted again.
01:09:58Whoops.
01:09:58And again.
01:10:00Nothing's happening.
01:10:02Stop.
01:10:03Stop.
01:10:04Stop.
01:10:12No, no, Bob.
01:10:14Hey.
01:10:15What did you do to my brother?
01:10:17I didn't do anything.
01:10:18Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:21I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:24If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:27Come on.
01:10:28Major.
01:10:29Are you not going to help your own brother?
01:10:31How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:33See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:38Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:40Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:10:50You're so sore, I wouldn't marry you.
01:10:51You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:10:53Oh, please.
01:10:54You hurt us first.
01:10:56At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:10:59But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:03Marissa, thanks for taking this little life from me.
01:11:08You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:11You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:16When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:22Don't touch my wife.
01:11:25And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:30You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:33But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:37That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:40Oh, really?
01:11:41Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:45You've got nothing on me.
01:11:50Yes.
01:11:51Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:11:57Goddess.
01:11:59Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:02Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:06Get the VP.
01:12:07We're leaving now.
01:12:11Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:16God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:19I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:22You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:23As Secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:27Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:28I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:31Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:34You hear that, everyone?
01:12:36There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:42She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here
01:12:46to play up her importance.
01:12:48No.
01:12:48My granddaughter would never do that.
01:12:51Reversing time just to heal someone's wound.
01:12:54Only the goddess healer can do that.
01:12:55Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:01Oh, my God.
01:13:03Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:10and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:14Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:19I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:22You can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:28Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:32It ain't working.
01:13:33You can't just fake the...
01:13:37Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary.
01:13:40It's like real magic.
01:13:42Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:13:47And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:13:55No.
01:13:56Trixie, look, I believe you.
01:13:59You saved me.
01:14:01Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:04No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:08We'll riot against, do you know?
01:14:10Tear her apart!
01:14:11Tear her apart!
01:14:13Tear her apart!
01:14:14Tear her apart!
01:14:16Tear her apart!
01:14:18The vice president arrives!
01:14:34Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:40You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:43Wait, what?
01:14:45He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:14:48No, no.
01:14:48We've been through this already once, okay?
01:14:51Right, Secretary Cho?
01:14:52This actor Trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:14:58But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:02Yes, we all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:04What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:11And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:13The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell?
01:15:17Well, and now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:21He is the general.
01:15:24Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:26Did you hear that?
01:15:27Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:31So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:35We got the VP and the president.
01:15:37On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:42I told you.
01:15:43Now punish them, Vice President Langley.
01:15:45This is treason.
01:15:46Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:15:54Hurry!
01:15:55The goddess healer needs us.
01:15:59You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:01My brother is a war hero.
01:16:03He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:05He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:07If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would-
01:16:09Enough!
01:16:09You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:13Not just your brother.
01:16:16Yeah.
01:16:17It's okay.
01:16:19Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:22I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life.
01:16:26And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:29I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:35I truly saved a good man.
01:16:42I will not let you bring ruin to my fiance.
01:16:45And what can you do about it?
01:16:47Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:16:50My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:16:54Let's try it out on them.
01:16:57Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:59There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:01Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:03Despicable!
01:17:04What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:10Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:13Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:29Wait, that's the president.
01:17:42Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:17:55That was, they were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:17:59What is this?
01:18:01Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:05This is a war crime. These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:09You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:10I can shoot whoever I want. I have the presidential contract.
01:18:13With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:16And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:20What are you doing? Reverse the poison!
01:18:22And take it out of the present before it's too late!
01:18:24That is easy.
01:18:25There's no need. I'll save everyone.
01:18:42It's raining gold!
01:18:46What's happening? Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:18:49It's gotta be cheap glitter.
01:18:53She... she... she is...
01:18:55She is a criminal!
01:18:57Don't worry, Madam President. We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:00I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:02Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:05What are you talking about?
01:19:07The president literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract.
01:19:20This contract?
01:19:22Yeah! Yes!
01:19:23Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:42My contract, you bitch!
01:19:44And that's not all.
01:19:57This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:00There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:03Don't you realize?
01:20:05Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:08You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:11Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:14And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:16So prepare yourself.
01:20:17Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:21What are you gonna do?
01:20:22The president is here.
01:20:24And I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:29And you'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:32Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:35So what's your final decision?
01:20:39I'll...
01:20:39She's gonna give me my billion dollar...
01:20:46I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:20:54Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:20:56You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar contract.
01:20:59You wish, you idiot!
01:21:03I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside,
01:21:07it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:09I don't understand.
01:21:10I was just trying to punish these impostors for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:15And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:21You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:25The one and only.
01:21:29And it's...
01:21:32Her.
01:21:33Her.
01:21:33Her.
01:21:35Her.
01:21:36Her.
01:21:40Her.
01:21:42Her.
01:21:43What?
01:21:47Welcome, goddess.
01:22:00You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:03How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:06Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:10I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person, help those in need, and make sure the man
01:22:16I chose loved me for me.
01:22:18No, so that means the billion dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:24Then she took it away just like that, that was our golden ticket.
01:22:29You were once my fiancé and best friend, but after everything you've done, we're officially
01:22:34getting ties with you both.
01:22:36No, please, I swear to you, I didn't know you were our next one.
01:22:39It doesn't matter who she is, Trixie has a heart of gold, she's an amazing person, and
01:22:47you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:22:51She's going to be my wife, because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this
01:22:55planet.
01:23:01I love you.
01:23:15All her gold, all her clothes, all that could have been mine.
01:23:20This is all your fault.
01:23:22You seduce me!
01:23:25You were the one that came on to me, you himbo.
01:23:28Please, Trixie, give me another chance.
01:23:32I want to be rich again.
01:23:34I'll be your slave.
01:23:36I'll kiss the ground you walk on.
01:23:38You've had your chance to apologize, but it's too late now.
01:23:42All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:23:46You two should be locked up.
01:23:48And she shall.
01:23:50For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction, arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:23:55It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:23:57I never loved you.
01:23:59It's your fault.
01:24:00I was only with you for your money.
01:24:02I don't care.
01:24:02You were rich.
01:24:04I'll see myself now.
01:24:07Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:08We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:12My platform is spreading kindness just like you.
01:24:15I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:18That is why I saved you.
01:24:19With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:26Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:31Let's party!
01:24:33Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:35Right now?
01:24:36Yes.
01:24:37Well.
01:24:38Woo!
01:24:41Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:24:46I do.
01:24:47I do.
01:24:48You may kiss the bride.
01:24:50I do.
01:24:51You may kiss the bride.
01:24:53I do at these party will ruin the princess.
01:24:53I've changed my life whileеть.
01:24:54I've changed my life while cooking.
01:24:54I'm going for two more people now.
01:24:54I know I can что-
01:24:54I'm going for the moment.
01:24:55I'm going for a long time.
01:24:55Mr. Zierkes, my mother...
01:24:55I love them for some time...
01:24:55I know pots.
01:24:56I'll just set them games basically this series.
01:24:56I'll be so full time based onadia.
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