- 17 hours ago
The Miniature Wife S01E01-2 [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:05this is a love story love it's supposed to be patient and kind but let's be honest it's
00:00:16irrational it can make us crazy and sometimes downright insane I should know my husband made
00:00:25me small no it's not a metaphor he made me six inches tall I'm literally the size of a dry
00:00:42martini shaken stirred and nursing the burn of every sip even at our ugliest I still believe
00:00:53our loves worth fighting for but fair warning it's going to get worse before it gets better
00:01:04to us to us
00:01:13to recapturing magic to the journey not the destination it's a dr. Carmichael couples
00:01:20therapist extraordinaire to her words of wisdom it's speaking of the journey it was so bumpy
00:01:29yeah a few potholes yeah yeah checked into separate rooms um but I am working through my narcissistic
00:01:37tendencies and I am working on my accountability issues and here we are we made it got to the next
00:01:45stop dr. Carmichael's new year new us colon a grand gesture I'd like to go first okay great
00:02:01I've arranged to get the vermont gang back together at the gray house on new year's eve for our
00:02:06anniversary so we can renew our vows new year new us I'm speechless we were so happy there
00:02:20really really are Gary and Meg gonna be there they're giving up Cabo Lulu our daughter has
00:02:26not returned my call oh she's 18 she will they don't do phones always send a text okay okay my
00:02:31turn
00:02:31okay this will be the last Christmas that we spend in St. Louis because I have listed our house
00:02:40with the contingency to run it back from the bio through next December I am going to land this big
00:02:45fish and tomorrow I'm going to get Elvis Smith to bankroll the final stage of my life's work so
00:02:50that in one year Lindy we can move back to the gray house permanently like I promised years ago
00:02:57clean slate and a fresh start I supported you and you got your prize and all I ask is that
00:03:06for one
00:03:06more year you support me so I can get mine are you serious the listing went up today
00:03:19is this real very
00:03:25less
00:03:29I love you
00:03:42thank you thank you for inviting me back into our bed
00:04:09how does one solve the problem
00:04:11of feeding the world only less little John knows now what if we could take say an ear of corn
00:04:20and shrink it to a fraction of its original size just imagine a farmer could grow 10 a hundred a
00:04:28thousand ears of corn in the space it takes to grow one but how does cellular reduction work
00:04:36my revolutionary molecular transformation process fundamentally changes the distance between
00:04:41atoms oh the real question is can you restore the corn cob to regular size after it's been
00:04:47miniaturized not only can we do it we will do it together Hilton Smith we can make more with less
00:04:55and that's l e s I'll take it from here less okay
00:05:05now it's time to blow your minds
00:05:12call this the mini barn card no one calls it that okay it's just me see I grew up on
00:05:18a farm
00:05:19remember that is Cascade
00:05:23every day
00:05:24all the way
00:05:32all the way
00:05:39all the way
00:05:40all the way
00:05:42all the way
00:05:43all the way
00:05:47all the way
00:05:48the future.
00:06:03I am
00:06:05fucking amazed!
00:06:08It's a corner, it's a truck.
00:06:10Look how tiny it is. It's being tiny.
00:06:12It's incredible.
00:06:13I got you.
00:06:14You did. You really did.
00:06:15That's crazy.
00:06:17Oh, it amazed me again.
00:06:19Make it big. I want to taste it.
00:06:23Oh, that big corn takes a big investment.
00:06:25Oh, there he is.
00:06:26Money man chiming in.
00:06:28Go on.
00:06:29You know, Flavor Saver was a huge
00:06:32step forward.
00:06:33It was the first and the best
00:06:36GMO tomato on the market.
00:06:37But it was a failure.
00:06:38Well, no, it wasn't.
00:06:41It was a breakthrough, but it tasted like old
00:06:43Band-Aids. Admit it.
00:06:44No, I don't think I want to.
00:06:48Admit it or I walk.
00:06:50No.
00:06:55Fuck yeah!
00:06:56You should never admit failure.
00:06:58I got you.
00:06:59Yes, you did, Hilton.
00:07:01But this agrotech
00:07:03is going to change the world.
00:07:05Jinx?
00:07:06And just think,
00:07:07this is only the beginning.
00:07:08Sorry, who are you?
00:07:09Vivian, Hilton's chief scientist.
00:07:11I'm the guts.
00:07:12I just write the checks.
00:07:13She's the brains.
00:07:14And my guts
00:07:15never make mistakes.
00:07:17I mean, I would write you a check
00:07:19right now,
00:07:20but for some reason,
00:07:23I'm just not feeling
00:07:25yummy in my tummy.
00:07:29You.
00:07:30Me?
00:07:31Who are you?
00:07:33Is this a trick question?
00:07:34I don't know.
00:07:35Is it?
00:07:36Well, who are you?
00:07:38I'm awesome.
00:07:39I'm Hilton.
00:07:40Well, I'm awesome.
00:07:41I'm less.
00:07:44Yeah, I'm going to need more.
00:07:52You liked it?
00:07:54Yeah, I'm going to lose my house.
00:08:13Hey.
00:08:14Hey.
00:08:16Hey.
00:08:16Uh, something quietly revealed itself to me.
00:08:20Oh?
00:08:21What's that?
00:08:21Maria's staff pick.
00:08:23My rainbow starts with black.
00:08:25It's a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel
00:08:27by the one,
00:08:29the only,
00:08:30Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
00:08:32That's a lifetime ago.
00:08:34Uh-uh.
00:08:3518 years and still a fan fave?
00:08:37Listen, Richie.
00:08:39Um,
00:08:40we need to talk.
00:08:42Uh-oh.
00:08:43No.
00:08:44Yeah.
00:08:45No, we've just begun.
00:08:47Richie.
00:08:47Hold on.
00:08:48This is just the first act,
00:08:50and not turn this into a tragedy.
00:08:52Tragedy's a better story.
00:08:54Oh,
00:08:55I wish they had a section
00:08:56on how to repair an emotional affair.
00:08:59Listen,
00:09:00you really saw me
00:09:01when I needed it the most.
00:09:03I do.
00:09:04Yeah,
00:09:05and,
00:09:06and you really gave me
00:09:07that emotional intimacy
00:09:08that I craved,
00:09:09you know?
00:09:10Mm-hmm.
00:09:11You were a great shoulder,
00:09:13an ear.
00:09:14Mm-hmm.
00:09:14You're so
00:09:15handsome,
00:09:16young,
00:09:17smart,
00:09:18and maybe in another life,
00:09:21but...
00:09:21But I fell in love.
00:09:24And you?
00:09:25I fell in Les.
00:09:27Hell yes.
00:09:28Yeah.
00:09:28Why?
00:09:29Les knows the real me,
00:09:32the worst of me,
00:09:33and he,
00:09:33he still loves me.
00:09:35I could love the worst of you.
00:09:37No.
00:09:38He has 20 years on you,
00:09:39and you've known me
00:09:40like a few months.
00:09:41Six and a half.
00:09:43Les,
00:09:45he made a grand gesture,
00:09:46and he promised me
00:09:48a fresh start,
00:09:49and I believe him.
00:09:51Why?
00:09:52No, no, no, no.
00:09:53Actually, don't say.
00:09:54Love should remain
00:09:56a mystery.
00:09:57My mom told me that.
00:09:59Okay.
00:10:01I'm gonna go.
00:10:01Just, just,
00:10:02wait, wait, wait.
00:10:03This...
00:10:03Oh, God, no, no.
00:10:04I got you this Christmas present.
00:10:06Absolutely cannot accept this.
00:10:07You must.
00:10:08No, I am not.
00:10:08It means our love was in vain.
00:10:10Shh, shh, not love.
00:10:10Okay, okay, okay.
00:10:11Okay, just open the card first.
00:10:13There is no need to thank me.
00:10:16Okay.
00:10:31Merry Christmas, my love.
00:10:33In anticipation of the new year,
00:10:35new you and new us,
00:10:36I thought this
00:10:37would be a great start.
00:10:39Open the present.
00:10:41I'll wait.
00:10:52I hate this rag.
00:10:53I know you hate this rag,
00:10:55but I knew you'd never
00:10:56send it in yourself.
00:10:58Give it a quick read.
00:10:59See if you recognize it.
00:11:02Oh, Richie.
00:11:04No, no, no, no, no.
00:11:05What have you done?
00:11:06I presented to be your book agent.
00:11:08Your story is gonna be
00:11:10in the New Yorker.
00:11:12No.
00:11:13I didn't write this.
00:11:15I'm fucked.
00:11:16I know it's overwhelming,
00:11:18and I'm sure you don't.
00:11:19Oh, fuck, Richie.
00:11:22No, no, no.
00:11:23Oh, my fuck.
00:11:25Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:11:26Oh, bitch, pick up, pick up.
00:11:28Hi, this is Terry.
00:11:29Leave a message.
00:11:30Terry.
00:11:31Oh, fuck.
00:11:32Okay, there is a story.
00:11:34There's a story in the New Yorker
00:11:35with my name on it,
00:11:36and I need you to call me back.
00:11:38This is an emergency.
00:11:39For serious this time,
00:11:40call me back.
00:11:42Fuck.
00:11:44Fuck!
00:11:53Hmm?
00:11:53Shut the door.
00:11:55Why?
00:11:55Because I want to raise my voice.
00:11:58Jesus jumping crackers.
00:12:00Why would you invite Hilton
00:12:02to your charity event
00:12:04at your home tonight?
00:12:05Because he wants to know who I am.
00:12:06But Lindy will be there.
00:12:08And?
00:12:08I'm sorry.
00:12:09Am I the only one
00:12:10that remembers last year
00:12:11the silent auction,
00:12:13the pool incident,
00:12:14and you're still serving alcohol
00:12:15this year, right?
00:12:16Count me out.
00:12:17I'm sorry.
00:12:18I cannot watch.
00:12:21I don't think
00:12:23that my heart or my stomach
00:12:24can tolerate another interaction
00:12:26with him,
00:12:27but we are broke.
00:12:29And here's all we have.
00:12:31There are no more
00:12:33interested investors less
00:12:34with Hilton's kind of cash.
00:12:36You know what?
00:12:37Lindy and I are fine now.
00:12:38We're good, even.
00:12:40And we're renewing our vows.
00:12:41New year, new us.
00:12:42Yes, you said that last year.
00:12:44This year it's gonna stick.
00:12:45You sleeping in the same bed?
00:12:46Yes.
00:12:47Just sleeping?
00:12:48Sleeping plus.
00:12:50Big plus?
00:12:51Small plus.
00:12:52It'd feel so much better
00:12:53if it was Big.
00:12:54We're on the road to Big.
00:12:55I promise you.
00:12:56Um, okay.
00:12:58Lindy, it's me.
00:12:59It's me calling you.
00:13:01Um, I'm not panicking,
00:13:01but just call me back
00:13:02before the party, okay?
00:13:03It's not an emergency,
00:13:04but it's an emergency.
00:13:06Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:13:07So sorry, sir.
00:13:07Um, my, uh,
00:13:09my polyp is gone.
00:13:10Yeah, but there's
00:13:11a hole in my heart now.
00:13:12Sounds like a case
00:13:13for the Bard's Guard.
00:13:14So I'll be unable
00:13:15to attend your party
00:13:16this evening.
00:13:17Our loss.
00:13:17Good luck, Richard.
00:13:42You're not Jackie.
00:13:43I'm Hill.
00:13:44Don't make me raise it.
00:13:45Who are you?
00:13:46I'm Professor Little John,
00:13:47Jackie's professor.
00:13:48Did she leave for break already?
00:13:49Have I missed her?
00:13:50I hope not,
00:13:51because I'm her fucking ride.
00:13:52Jackie!
00:13:53Professor Little John.
00:13:55Yeah, Lindy.
00:13:55You should call me Lindy.
00:13:57Oh, uh,
00:13:58hell, uh,
00:13:58Professor Little John
00:13:59is the reason that
00:14:01I'm here.
00:14:02Oh, you wrote
00:14:03that book she loves.
00:14:04I didn't read it.
00:14:05No offense.
00:14:06None taken.
00:14:07Jackie, I'm so glad
00:14:08I caught you.
00:14:09Can we talk?
00:14:10Yeah.
00:14:11Just real quick.
00:14:12Oh, you mean without me?
00:14:13I do.
00:14:14Oh.
00:14:14Is it okay?
00:14:15Oh, yeah.
00:14:15A bit rude, no offense,
00:14:16but sure, okay.
00:14:18Let's just have it.
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:20Um,
00:14:23have I done something wrong,
00:14:24Professor Little John?
00:14:25Oh, no, no, gosh, no.
00:14:27No, I have.
00:14:28I have.
00:14:30I, um,
00:14:32I need to tell you something.
00:14:33Uh,
00:14:37I loved your short story.
00:14:41Untitled on purpose.
00:14:42Yeah, that's the one.
00:14:42Yeah, I loved it.
00:14:44It was brilliant.
00:14:45Uh,
00:14:45the prose was incisive.
00:14:47Oh,
00:14:47just the voice,
00:14:48fresh,
00:14:49distinguished,
00:14:50rare,
00:14:51one that deserves
00:14:52the attention
00:14:53of the New York literati.
00:14:55Wow.
00:14:57I mean,
00:14:58that,
00:14:58that means the world
00:14:59to me,
00:15:00Professor Little John.
00:15:01It's almost,
00:15:01it's almost Christmas
00:15:02and you're at my door
00:15:02complimenting my work.
00:15:03I,
00:15:04oh my gosh,
00:15:04I couldn't ask for a better gift.
00:15:05Okay, listen to me,
00:15:06listen to me.
00:15:07Yes?
00:15:07You need to turn it
00:15:08into a novel
00:15:09right now.
00:15:11Now?
00:15:13Really?
00:15:14Really now.
00:15:15Mm-hmm.
00:15:15Um,
00:15:16I guess I could get started
00:15:18over the break.
00:15:19No,
00:15:19you need to take
00:15:19next semester off
00:15:20and just write.
00:15:21The whole
00:15:23semester.
00:15:24The whole semester.
00:15:24You just want to isolate
00:15:26and write
00:15:27while it's fresh,
00:15:28while it's here,
00:15:29while Untitled on Purpose
00:15:30is coursing through you,
00:15:32right?
00:15:32Yes, I feel it.
00:15:33Okay,
00:15:34so you need to isolate
00:15:35and write.
00:15:35No distractions,
00:15:36no internet,
00:15:37no novels,
00:15:38no magazines,
00:15:39no,
00:15:40nothing.
00:15:41Right?
00:15:41Nothing.
00:15:42And just all winter long,
00:15:43a very room of one's own.
00:15:45Right.
00:15:45Wolf it.
00:15:46Right,
00:15:46wolf it.
00:15:47Could you do that?
00:15:48Yes,
00:15:48well,
00:15:49well,
00:15:49how's dad?
00:15:49My Uncle Flip,
00:15:50he has a cabin
00:15:51back in Montana
00:15:52that's super isolated.
00:15:54Ah!
00:15:54Walden Pond
00:15:54isolated.
00:15:55That's perfect.
00:15:56Right?
00:15:56Yes,
00:15:57Jackie.
00:15:57Yeah.
00:15:59This has the potential
00:16:00to be your...
00:16:02My rainbow starts
00:16:03with black?
00:16:04No.
00:16:05Professor Little John,
00:16:06it couldn't.
00:16:07Jackie,
00:16:08I should know.
00:16:10My goal in life
00:16:12is to just write
00:16:13one great novel like you.
00:16:17So we're agreed.
00:16:18You're going to isolate and write.
00:16:20Yes.
00:16:20All semester?
00:16:21All semester.
00:16:22You're going to Montana.
00:16:23Yes.
00:16:24Remember,
00:16:24no magazines.
00:16:25Right?
00:16:25You don't want any?
00:16:26Uh-uh.
00:16:27Just turn off the internet.
00:16:28Okay?
00:16:29I will unplug completely.
00:16:31Yes!
00:16:32Okay,
00:16:33hey,
00:16:33Merry Christmas.
00:16:34Merry Christmas
00:16:35to you, too.
00:16:40Okay.
00:16:41Thanks,
00:16:42but...
00:17:00Terry!
00:17:01Thank Christ!
00:17:02Okay,
00:17:02listen,
00:17:03I...
00:17:03I have ten minutes.
00:17:05Blindsiding me
00:17:05with one short story
00:17:06published in the New Yorker
00:17:07over the last two decades
00:17:08gets you one.
00:17:09The fact that we've been friends
00:17:10for more than 20 years
00:17:11gets you another.
00:17:12And the other eight
00:17:13belong to Gillian Flynn.
00:17:14He continues to publish bestsellers
00:17:16which bought me
00:17:16a classic six off the park.
00:17:18I didn't write the story.
00:17:20It's my students' work.
00:17:24My ex-emotional lover,
00:17:27long story...
00:17:27Found the fucking story
00:17:29in my bag
00:17:29and thought it was mine
00:17:30and I...
00:17:31Why would I correct him,
00:17:32you know?
00:17:33He sent it in
00:17:35without my knowledge
00:17:36on my behalf
00:17:37because he...
00:17:38Long story,
00:17:39adored me
00:17:40and thought I was capable
00:17:41of writing something great again.
00:17:42I'm taking a sabbatical
00:17:44from Wash U.
00:17:45I'm headed to the Grey House.
00:17:46Les and I
00:17:46are going to renew our vows.
00:17:47Long story,
00:17:49you're invited.
00:17:50I know you hate him.
00:17:51I did too,
00:17:52but he has a good dad
00:17:54and I'm committed
00:17:55to committing to my marriage.
00:17:57So,
00:17:58I cannot handle
00:18:00this shitstorm right now
00:18:02which is sure,
00:18:03by the way,
00:18:03to tarnish your reputation as well.
00:18:05So if you want to keep
00:18:06that classic six,
00:18:07then can you please,
00:18:09please,
00:18:10fix this fucking mess
00:18:11so I can focus on my vows
00:18:13and my marriage
00:18:13like I promised?
00:18:15I hate you.
00:18:17I know.
00:18:17I hate me too.
00:18:21No, you're not allowed
00:18:21to thank me.
00:18:28Oliver!
00:18:47Les has been calling.
00:18:48I've been texting.
00:18:49And I have been busy.
00:18:50Les needs you
00:18:51on best behavior tonight.
00:18:53Hilton Smith is attending.
00:18:55Condescending as always,
00:18:56Starla.
00:18:57And who?
00:18:58Necessary.
00:18:59And he is a big investor.
00:19:00You know.
00:19:01I thought the cover
00:19:02was on the pool last year.
00:19:03Right?
00:19:03You know that.
00:19:04Great!
00:19:05You already picked up
00:19:05the first frame to me
00:19:06and I did.
00:19:06Yep.
00:19:07It's locked.
00:19:08I know.
00:19:10Is this another party protest?
00:19:11No.
00:19:12Hilton is here in five.
00:19:13Starla.
00:19:14Your dress is upstairs.
00:19:14I need you inside.
00:19:15Now.
00:19:16What dress?
00:19:17Les had me assess
00:19:18your wardrobe situation
00:19:18and we both agreed
00:19:19that the only option
00:19:20was to outsource an upgrade.
00:19:22Insulting?
00:19:24Then what if I hate it?
00:19:25Your futures
00:19:26are on the line.
00:19:27He said to me,
00:19:28quote,
00:19:29no new year,
00:19:30new us without new money.
00:19:31Unquote.
00:19:32So please,
00:19:33just move.
00:19:34Get out of the car.
00:19:36Now!
00:19:37Goodbye, Starla.
00:19:39I will have the valet
00:19:41physically remove you.
00:19:43I need a minute!
00:19:46One minute!
00:19:49You need a Hulk out front?
00:19:51Stat.
00:20:19Come on!
00:20:20Tell me what Les is working on.
00:20:21This is the cover
00:20:22of Scientific American.
00:20:24He tells me nothing.
00:20:25No.
00:20:26Mm-hmm.
00:20:27And you never ask.
00:20:28Bullshit, Les.
00:20:29I have printed that same quote
00:20:31from you ten times
00:20:31over the years.
00:20:32All I'll say
00:20:33is First World Fight Club.
00:20:35Lynn.
00:20:36And outdated.
00:20:37Just like Scientific American.
00:20:49Vodka dry.
00:20:58Oh, thank you.
00:21:07Big Red has landed.
00:21:10Where's Lindy?
00:21:11I need eyes on Lady Tornado.
00:21:12Help me.
00:21:13Give me a 20 on Deep Pockets.
00:21:16Double negative.
00:21:17Double negative.
00:21:17Big Red is not happy.
00:21:18I know amazing style
00:21:20when I see it.
00:21:21Ugh.
00:21:22This is a facade.
00:21:24Oh, well,
00:21:24the facade is working.
00:21:27I'm teetering on the precipice
00:21:29of being outed as a fraud.
00:21:31Which I probably deserve.
00:21:34I'm supposed to be
00:21:35the supportive wife.
00:21:37But, uh,
00:21:39my career going up in flames
00:21:40is banging around my brain.
00:21:42That's all I can hear.
00:21:43What does your husband
00:21:44think about that?
00:21:45Oh, he has no clue.
00:21:47He's a fraud, too.
00:21:49Is that so?
00:21:52Welcome, everyone.
00:21:55Uh, every year,
00:21:56um, I say I'm gonna keep it short
00:21:58and that this night
00:21:59is not about me.
00:22:00It's about the children.
00:22:02And tonight,
00:22:03I'm actually gonna keep
00:22:03that promise.
00:22:04But, you know,
00:22:05let's be honest,
00:22:06um, it has to be
00:22:07about me first
00:22:08because you're all here
00:22:09to bid on my stuff.
00:22:11Ha ha!
00:22:11Well, he's just
00:22:13playing the role
00:22:14of a charitable
00:22:16philanthropist.
00:22:17But all he really cares about
00:22:19is his life's work.
00:22:20First,
00:22:21himself second,
00:22:22our daughter third,
00:22:23and me last.
00:22:24Which I probably deserve.
00:22:26Well, just curious,
00:22:27what do you think
00:22:28about his life's work?
00:22:30And a very personal
00:22:32little ditty
00:22:33about Jack and Diane,
00:22:34my John Cougar Mellencamp
00:22:36Velcro wallet
00:22:37with my high school ID
00:22:39still inside.
00:22:40Huh?
00:22:41Where else
00:22:41are you gonna get
00:22:42one of those?
00:22:43I can't tell you that.
00:22:46It's so top secret,
00:22:47I actually have
00:22:48no idea what it is.
00:22:49Oh.
00:22:50Hold on a second,
00:22:50my top elf
00:22:51is really trying
00:22:52to tell me something.
00:22:53Maybe tomato
00:22:54on the brand
00:22:54of Deepak
00:22:55is two drinks
00:22:56and third on deck.
00:22:57You're fucking joking
00:22:57or you're fucking fired.
00:22:59I'll turn on my headset.
00:23:02But I can tell you,
00:23:06he's brilliant.
00:23:08Don't tell him
00:23:09I said that.
00:23:10Yeah.
00:23:11I mean,
00:23:12I'm already last,
00:23:12you know,
00:23:13what's after last.
00:23:15Not much.
00:23:17So, yeah,
00:23:18Merry Christmas
00:23:19and happy holidays
00:23:20and hopefully
00:23:22that covers it all.
00:23:24Okay.
00:23:26less five minutes.
00:23:27No, two,
00:23:28one, later,
00:23:29maybe, done.
00:23:30Oh, everybody
00:23:30was up.
00:23:31Stop, stop, stop.
00:23:32I'm just explaining
00:23:33to this gentleman
00:23:33why there's no
00:23:34outdoor access
00:23:35this holiday season.
00:23:36So, as a joke,
00:23:37last year,
00:23:38I put into the
00:23:39silent auction,
00:23:40as a joke,
00:23:41watch Almighty Les
00:23:42walk on water.
00:23:44I thought
00:23:44the cover
00:23:45was on the pool.
00:23:46Oh.
00:23:46It was out.
00:23:47I'm so sorry.
00:23:48You get it.
00:23:48Hilton, I'm so sorry.
00:23:50I just want to say
00:23:50I'm so sorry.
00:23:51Well, I pay right now
00:23:52to see that.
00:23:53Awesome, Les.
00:23:55If you can walk on water,
00:23:56you got my money.
00:23:58Are you being serious?
00:23:59No.
00:24:00No?
00:24:01Oh, great.
00:24:02So I can still
00:24:02get the money?
00:24:03After the conversation
00:24:05with your wife,
00:24:08I don't know.
00:24:09Hi, Hilton.
00:24:10Listen, I didn't know.
00:24:10Okay, Lindy,
00:24:11why don't you just
00:24:11not say anything
00:24:12and maybe go
00:24:13and get us
00:24:13a lot of drinks?
00:24:16Okay, so, Hilton,
00:24:17I don't know
00:24:17what she said.
00:24:18Well, she said
00:24:19that you put
00:24:19work first,
00:24:20family third,
00:24:21and her did last.
00:24:22That's out of context.
00:24:24What kind of man
00:24:25are you?
00:24:25I know, I just,
00:24:26I can explain.
00:24:27I can explain.
00:24:31You never explain
00:24:32anything.
00:24:33I got you.
00:24:34Again.
00:24:35Again.
00:24:36You suck at this.
00:24:37I do, I do, I do.
00:24:38So just to be clear,
00:24:39Lindy didn't tank the deal.
00:24:40She closed it.
00:24:42Now she's awesome.
00:24:44Workaholics,
00:24:45they changed the world.
00:24:46I'm a workaholic.
00:24:47I should know.
00:24:49Thank you so much.
00:24:50Thank you so much.
00:24:51I want to go to work
00:24:52right away.
00:24:52Like, fuck the holidays.
00:24:53Yeah, put on my
00:24:54Christmas card every year.
00:24:55Yeah, you really see me.
00:24:57We both do.
00:24:58Oh, it's you again.
00:24:59Hilton's chief scientist.
00:25:01Oh, the brains.
00:25:02And the boots.
00:25:03The boots?
00:25:03The boots on the ground.
00:25:04What do the boots do?
00:25:05The boots ensure
00:25:07that my guts are never wrong.
00:25:09The boots are part of the deal.
00:25:11I'm all in.
00:25:13Are you?
00:25:13Awesome.
00:25:14Bless.
00:25:21Fine, just tell me.
00:25:23I'm melting down.
00:25:24Because I fucked the deal.
00:25:26No, I closed the deal.
00:25:27I closed the deal.
00:25:28Fantastic.
00:25:29No.
00:25:29What do you mean no?
00:25:30That's so great.
00:25:32Oh, my God.
00:25:32I was so worried.
00:25:34No, no.
00:25:34Now, I am saddled
00:25:35with one of Hilton's
00:25:36network of bio spies.
00:25:38His chief scientist
00:25:39is going to come in
00:25:40and she's going to take
00:25:41credit for my work
00:25:42and all of this
00:25:42will have been for nothing.
00:25:44I will be nothing.
00:25:45My legacy will be nothing.
00:25:47I shall go to the grave
00:25:48without a Nobel.
00:25:49You know,
00:25:49this was my last chance
00:25:51at greatness.
00:25:53God.
00:25:54Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:25:59Come on, you remember
00:26:01Joan Ryan?
00:26:03Huh?
00:26:04Yeah, my nemesis at MIT.
00:26:06That's right.
00:26:07You were convinced
00:26:09that the PhD board
00:26:10was going to pick her over you
00:26:12and you were going to be
00:26:13relegated to just a footnote
00:26:15in the science community
00:26:16or some other science bad thing, right?
00:26:17But what actually happened, Les?
00:26:21They chose me.
00:26:23They chose you.
00:26:25And where's Joan Ryan?
00:26:27Teaching at Berkeley.
00:26:30And where are you?
00:26:32In St. Louis.
00:26:33But why?
00:26:34Oh, uh,
00:26:36to give the finger
00:26:37to those ungrateful pricks
00:26:39at Monsanto
00:26:39and to build
00:26:40the Menlo Park
00:26:41of the Midwest.
00:26:42And how?
00:26:43How?
00:26:43Because I am
00:26:44a partner in my own company
00:26:45creating the bio-agrotech
00:26:47that will change the world.
00:26:48That's right.
00:26:48Yeah.
00:26:49You're going to change the world.
00:26:52And you are.
00:26:54I've always believed that.
00:26:56Even when you hated me?
00:26:57Oh.
00:27:00Especially when I hated you.
00:27:02So what do I do?
00:27:04You do what you always do.
00:27:06You get back in the workshop
00:27:09and you figure it out.
00:27:11That's what Les Littlejohn does.
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:14Right?
00:27:15Yeah.
00:27:16Right.
00:27:17Right?
00:27:18Okay.
00:27:19Okay.
00:27:20That's it.
00:27:22That's it.
00:27:23Thank you, Lydia.
00:27:24Thank you for being so
00:27:25understanding.
00:27:26Oh, God.
00:27:28So now I've got to get back
00:27:30in the workshop
00:27:31and let's move our
00:27:33renewing our vows
00:27:33to next year.
00:27:34That's a fantastic idea.
00:27:35Les?
00:27:36No, I didn't.
00:27:36What?
00:27:37Huh?
00:27:37That's what you said, right?
00:27:39Huh?
00:27:40Did I?
00:27:41Yeah.
00:27:42Gary and Meg.
00:27:43Oh, Gary and Meg
00:27:43would much prefer
00:27:44to go to Cabo.
00:27:45Let's send them something.
00:27:46Sign my name.
00:27:46No, no, no.
00:27:47That will be so humiliating.
00:27:48Don't worry.
00:27:49Don't worry.
00:27:49I'll tell Lulu
00:27:49that she can just go skiing
00:27:50with her friends
00:27:51like she wanted.
00:27:51So I'll see you
00:27:52when I see you.
00:27:53I'll be back
00:27:53when I'm back.
00:27:53and I love you
00:27:55and I can't wait
00:27:56for New Year.
00:27:57New us next year.
00:27:58Mwah!
00:28:05They're...
00:28:08Is he fucking kidding me?
00:28:13Fire.
00:28:28Lindy?
00:28:29Hi, Richie.
00:28:31Um...
00:28:33I made a mistake
00:28:34and I'm leaving Les.
00:28:36Tonight.
00:28:37I hear the emotion
00:28:38in your voice
00:28:39and it's beautiful.
00:28:40I've been hoping
00:28:40for a Christmas miracle.
00:28:42Yeah, I'm going to go
00:28:42to Vermont.
00:28:43I'm going to go
00:28:44to the Grey House
00:28:44and I, um...
00:28:46Could you...
00:28:47Could you come with me?
00:28:48Where you finished
00:28:49your masterpiece.
00:28:50I'd be honored
00:28:51to be invited.
00:28:52A gift beyond measure.
00:28:53I have ten vacation days
00:28:55and one personal day bag.
00:28:57Heart emoji.
00:28:59Let's meet
00:29:00at Mandy's diner
00:29:01at midnight.
00:29:02Heart emoji bag.
00:29:03I'll arrive
00:29:04with joy in my step
00:29:05and a light in my heart.
00:29:06Did you love my present?
00:29:08The fuck?
00:29:09Pardon?
00:29:10Yeah, I...
00:29:11I didn't have
00:29:13the heart
00:29:14to open it
00:29:15so, um,
00:29:15I'll just
00:29:16bring it with me, okay?
00:29:18New year,
00:29:19new you,
00:29:20new us.
00:29:20Oh, is Vermont cold?
00:29:22I get...
00:29:43everybody out in 30 minutes,
00:29:45or Hulk is going to see me smash.
00:29:49Iceberg ahead,
00:29:5030 clicks.
00:29:51Abandoned ship.
00:29:52Lady Tomato
00:29:52about to burst.
00:29:53Hey, hey, hey!
00:29:55Les promised me a minute.
00:29:59I'll give you 20.
00:30:17Excuse me?
00:30:19I thought the boots
00:30:20up my ass
00:30:21might start
00:30:22after the holidays.
00:30:23Martin signed
00:30:24the LOI ASAP
00:30:25and Hilton
00:30:26turned on the money hose
00:30:26in good faith.
00:30:27I didn't sign.
00:30:28I'm a partner.
00:30:29Apparently not
00:30:30the important one.
00:30:32Oh.
00:30:33Well,
00:30:34now I'm inspired
00:30:35and I would like you
00:30:36to leave.
00:30:37A genius
00:30:38needs his space.
00:30:39Exactly.
00:30:41And I plan
00:30:42on being inspired
00:30:42throughout the holidays.
00:30:44I know this is
00:30:45a difficult transition period.
00:30:46I'll give you tonight.
00:30:48But I will be back tomorrow.
00:30:52Boots on the ground,
00:30:54Dr. Littlejohn.
00:30:57Fuck me.
00:31:06Fuck me.
00:31:14Fuck me.
00:31:35Mills, I don't have time.
00:31:39She what?
00:32:02You're old, text me.
00:32:09Fuck you too.
00:32:14Starla?
00:32:25Les?
00:32:25Freezers, off limits from now on till I say.
00:32:28I need to regroup.
00:32:29Where are you going?
00:32:31I'm leaving you.
00:32:33If anyone should be leaving anyone, I should be leaving you.
00:32:35How's that?
00:32:36For trying to sabotage my career?
00:32:38Think I don't know?
00:32:38You don't think Nils would call me for comment, Lindy?
00:32:41Scientific American, not TMZ.
00:32:44I'm a hoax.
00:32:45I'm threatened by a female scientist taking credit for my work.
00:32:48You mentioned Joan.
00:32:50I'm not a misogynist.
00:32:52I'm not intentionally.
00:32:53But anything, I'm an accidental misogynist and I too blame the patriarchy for that.
00:32:57I never said misogynist.
00:32:59Why would you do this?
00:32:59Why?
00:33:00You know why.
00:33:02Is it about Gary and Meg?
00:33:04This is about you.
00:33:06And our marriage.
00:33:08And breaking the promise of step three colon, a grand gesture.
00:33:11And our daughter who hates me.
00:33:13Sucking the life out of me and my promising writing career.
00:33:17Career!
00:33:18Stop!
00:33:19It was one book in the early aughts!
00:33:22This is what you did.
00:33:22You basically, you turned in a book report on your fucked up family.
00:33:26You changed the names.
00:33:27You added a little bit of wry sarcasm.
00:33:29And then you called it fiction and you got lucky.
00:33:32My rainbow starts with black.
00:33:34No shit.
00:33:34My book report and the subsequent Oscar nominated film it's based on bought and paid for this extravagantly sad McMansion
00:33:44in this podunk red state town you forced us to move to so that you could try to be something
00:33:50other than Mr. Fucking Tomato Head.
00:33:53This is the last thing I need right now.
00:33:55Oh my.
00:33:56I'm so sorry.
00:33:57What is it you need right now?
00:33:59I need you.
00:34:00Yeah.
00:34:00I need your support.
00:34:02This is my last chance.
00:34:03You already got your prize.
00:34:06And, in case you forgot, I was by your side for every fucking sentence.
00:34:12Every book signing.
00:34:13Every interview.
00:34:14I held your purse.
00:34:15I held my tongue.
00:34:17You know, I was there for the ride.
00:34:18And it wasn't always pleasant.
00:34:20You know, the rollercoaster of insecurity and emotion was frankly fucking exhausting.
00:34:24I have paid that debt.
00:34:26I have been by your side for 15 years.
00:34:29You had flavor saver.
00:34:32You had flavor saver.
00:34:32And it was insufferable.
00:34:36Still is.
00:34:37But I didn't get my moment in the spotlight like you did.
00:34:40I didn't get my prize.
00:34:42Swing and a miss.
00:34:43How is it my fault?
00:34:46How?
00:34:47My apologies.
00:34:48Forgive me for being ambitious.
00:34:50Um, coasting by on a one hit wonder isn't enough for me.
00:34:54Maybe you don't have another hit in you.
00:34:56Huh?
00:34:56Maybe you're one and done.
00:34:58Maybe your ego just won't let you read the room.
00:35:00I would rather be blinded by my ego than paralyzed by fear.
00:35:04That's me?
00:35:04That's what you think of me?
00:35:05Yeah, because you haven't produced one goddamn sentence in 15 years.
00:35:09What kind of magic do you think you're suddenly going to find in your beloved grey house?
00:35:12Huh?
00:35:13With me by your side, like an emotional support animal, encouraging you, keeping you calm,
00:35:18because, quote, I promise we'd return there one day, unquote.
00:35:21I mean, I am through being held emotionally hostage for your creative paralysis.
00:35:27And there it is, everyone.
00:35:30That's our show.
00:35:32Same line every time.
00:35:40This is the top secret thing you've been working on?
00:35:44Give me that. Give me that.
00:35:45A Tonka truck is not going to change the world, let alone agriculture as we know it.
00:35:51You have no idea what you're talking about.
00:35:52Jesus, this is what you said to every female scientist that's ever had a better idea.
00:35:55You know, most men overcompensate with a big truck.
00:35:59It's nice to see yours to scale.
00:36:02Ah!
00:36:03Ah!
00:36:06Jesus!
00:36:07What a gentleman!
00:36:08Oh, fuck.
00:36:10What?
00:36:11Oh no, Lindy.
00:36:12What the?
00:36:15What'd you do?
00:36:15What'd you do?
00:36:31Oh, God, is she dead?
00:36:39Lindy.
00:36:39Say something
00:36:42Are you alive?
00:36:44Oh you're alive
00:36:48Fuck you
00:36:49Fuck you
00:36:50Fuck
00:36:53Fuck
00:36:54Fuck
00:36:55Fuck
00:36:55Fuck
00:36:56Fuck
00:36:56Fuck
00:36:58Fuck
00:36:58Fuck
00:36:59Fuck
00:36:59Fuck
00:37:06Merry Christmas
00:37:08I don't want to bow tonight
00:37:27Last
00:37:30Oh fuck
00:37:36Oh
00:37:37What's inside of me is that
00:37:40Oh shit
00:37:45Oh boy
00:37:47Oh boy
00:38:01Plus
00:38:07Why would you put the plaid back up
00:38:11It's my eyes
00:38:13My head
00:38:18I'll try January starts today
00:38:24Oh
00:38:25Oh wow
00:38:27Oh that really cleaned up
00:38:32Less
00:38:38Who's at the door
00:38:51What is this nonsense
00:39:01No no no no no no no
00:39:03Lindy
00:39:04Everything is fine
00:39:06Don't freak out
00:39:17Lindy
00:39:17Oh
00:39:18Oh
00:39:20Okay
00:39:21I'm opening up the door house
00:39:23Stop screaming at me
00:39:28Ooh
00:39:29Um
00:39:31None
00:39:31No None
00:39:33Nothing
00:39:33No
00:39:34Oh
00:39:35Wow
00:39:40No
00:39:46There you are
00:39:49You're okay
00:39:53I am not okay!
00:39:57Can you hear me? I am not okay!
00:40:05I am not okay!
00:40:08It works! I can hear you!
00:40:10You're too loud!
00:40:12Sorry.
00:40:13Well now I can't hear you!
00:40:15How about now?
00:40:16No, too loud!
00:40:18Now?
00:40:19Softer.
00:40:20No.
00:40:21Better.
00:40:22I hate this fucking thing!
00:40:27Can you hear me now?
00:40:29Say again.
00:40:30Can you hear me now?
00:40:31Yes!
00:40:32Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry.
00:40:35Are you okay?
00:40:36I'm fine.
00:40:38I heard that.
00:40:38I think we got it.
00:40:41Hi.
00:40:42What the fuck, Les?
00:40:44I heard that too.
00:40:46Loud and clear.
00:40:46Okay.
00:40:47Wendy, I'm so sorry.
00:40:49It was an accident.
00:40:50And uh...
00:40:51I can't believe it even happened.
00:40:53I...
00:40:53I...
00:40:53But you're incredible!
00:40:55I mean...
00:40:56You're beautiful!
00:41:01Are you smiling right now?
00:41:04No!
00:41:05No, no, no.
00:41:05No, of course not.
00:41:06I...
00:41:06I just...
00:41:08I...
00:41:08Just like...
00:41:10Wow.
00:41:11Wow.
00:41:12Wow.
00:41:13Wow?
00:41:14No, I apologize.
00:41:16You're my wife.
00:41:16You're not...
00:41:17Experimentally.
00:41:18I should hope so!
00:41:20Jesus!
00:41:21Oh my god!
00:41:22This is your job?
00:41:24This how you're gonna solve world hunger?
00:41:26You're gonna make everybody tiny so...
00:41:29So they don't what?
00:41:29Eat more?
00:41:30I don't...
00:41:31Uh...
00:41:31Do you...
00:41:31Do you want me to answer that?
00:41:33Or...
00:41:34Explain it to me!
00:41:36Well...
00:41:37Um...
00:41:37It's called...
00:41:38Cellular reduction.
00:41:40And um...
00:41:41It's the process of miniaturization and restoration of organic fruit and vegetables.
00:41:46And that's how I plan to solve world hunger.
00:41:50Explain how you're gonna make me big again!
00:41:52Jesus!
00:41:53I don't give a shit how it works!
00:41:55Oh, right.
00:41:55Well, I just reversed the process.
00:41:57That's the restoration part.
00:41:59Great!
00:42:01Restore me!
00:42:03Now, please!
00:42:04I can do that.
00:42:06Um...
00:42:06Uh...
00:42:06But first...
00:42:07Uh...
00:42:07A surprise!
00:42:09Meet me in the dining room.
00:42:14Merry Christmas, Lindy!
00:42:16Les, do I look merry or hungry?
00:42:19Well, it's kinda hard to tell from this distance.
00:42:22Um...
00:42:22I'm not!
00:42:23Make me big again, now!
00:42:25Heard that, loud and clear.
00:42:28Um...
00:42:28The thing is...
00:42:29Tell me you can make me big again, Les!
00:42:32I can.
00:42:32And I will.
00:42:33Um...
00:42:33The thing is...
00:42:34That it's just...
00:42:35I think it's just gonna take a day...
00:42:37Uh...
00:42:38Or two.
00:42:38Tops.
00:42:39But...
00:42:40You'll be fine.
00:42:41Everything's gonna be okay.
00:42:42You're healthy.
00:42:42I checked your vitals.
00:42:44Wait!
00:42:44I could die?!
00:42:46Tiny?!
00:42:46No!
00:42:47You...
00:42:47You're not gonna die, Tiny.
00:42:50You'll be safe in the dollhouse.
00:42:52Because it's...
00:42:53It's almost exactly the same as our house house.
00:42:56Um...
00:42:57The stove works.
00:42:58The refrigerator works.
00:42:59There's food.
00:43:00The water runs.
00:43:02And...
00:43:02I shrunk a few of your favorite things to really make you feel at home home.
00:43:06Your clothes.
00:43:08From your closet.
00:43:11Um...
00:43:11And, uh...
00:43:12This...
00:43:13Curling thing.
00:43:17And...
00:43:17Your hairbrush.
00:43:19Uh...
00:43:19Cold cream.
00:43:21Looked important.
00:43:22Oh!
00:43:23And I remembered your coffee.
00:43:24And the coffee maker.
00:43:25Worked perfectly, right?
00:43:27Oh!
00:43:27One crucial thing.
00:43:28Um...
00:43:28The toilet.
00:43:29Uh...
00:43:30It works.
00:43:30I figured it out.
00:43:31Just don't ever look in the hall closet.
00:43:33Downstairs.
00:43:34Ever.
00:43:35You will be restored to regular size.
00:43:37I...
00:43:37I promise it.
00:43:38This is just temporary, Lindy.
00:43:39I am so close.
00:43:41Truly.
00:43:41Now it's so close!
00:43:45Not a day or two!
00:43:47Tough!
00:43:48Less!
00:43:49You motherfuckers!
00:43:52Hey.
00:43:53Calm down.
00:43:55Calm down.
00:43:57Calm fucking down!
00:43:59No!
00:44:01Hrgh!
00:44:04Hrgh!
00:44:07Hrrgh!
00:44:09Hrgh!
00:44:09Hrgggh!
00:44:12Hrgh!
00:44:12Hrgh!
00:44:13Hrgh!
00:44:14Waaahh!
00:44:15Hrgh!
00:44:17Hey Liddy!
00:44:20I'm gonna need a minute!
00:44:24I don't wanna do a little!
00:44:28Hrgh!
00:44:43You can refilm the lady's cup, too.
00:44:47She's on her way, boy.
00:44:49She's gone back to her husband.
00:44:50No.
00:44:51They always do.
00:44:52Not this time.
00:44:53No, no, no.
00:44:53Because we've got plans.
00:44:55Yep.
00:44:56We've got concrete plans.
00:45:01How about a ten-day getaway to Vermont for two?
00:45:07Uber romantic.
00:45:15There are multiple reasons she could be late.
00:45:18No, I know Lindy's coming.
00:45:19Why, you may ask?
00:45:21Because our love story is woven into the fabric of time.
00:45:26Destined to be written.
00:45:28There are more lies for generations to come.
00:45:32Oh.
00:45:33Quiet, everybody, please.
00:45:34Quiet, please!
00:45:36Sorry.
00:45:37Oh.
00:45:38It's work.
00:45:39It's work.
00:45:41Hey, Martin.
00:45:44Well, I, you know, I was going to head out of town, so.
00:45:48No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:45:49Of course, of course.
00:45:50I'll just, I'll head into the, into the lab.
00:45:55No, I've not heard from us.
00:45:58Wait, what do you mean you can't get a hold of them?
00:46:02Okay, bye.
00:46:03Does this mean your romantic getaway is canceled?
00:46:07Bart, can I be honest?
00:46:08I love your service, but I don't love the negative energy.
00:46:13Oh.
00:46:15Are you suffering?
00:46:21Take those off.
00:46:22I feel like a specimen.
00:46:24And come closer.
00:46:25I don't want to keep yelling.
00:46:30Jesus, the 96?
00:46:32If there was ever a time.
00:46:34I know why you didn't tell me about your work.
00:46:37Well, I couldn't.
00:46:38It was top secret.
00:46:39I signed an ironclad NDA.
00:46:41It's bullshit.
00:46:43You didn't trust me.
00:46:45Which makes me so sad.
00:46:49Makes me so sad.
00:46:52Fuck you.
00:46:53But, yeah.
00:46:59Well, I didn't exactly hide it from you, either.
00:47:02What?
00:47:04Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:07They are so cute.
00:47:11Wait.
00:47:12And legible?
00:47:14Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:16They're so cute.
00:47:19Oh, and functional.
00:47:21Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:24How cute.
00:47:26Inaccurate.
00:47:28The dent from when I sideswiped the mailbox.
00:47:33Never put it together.
00:47:35You also said you didn't want to know.
00:47:39Well, you're not leaving me.
00:47:41Well, I have to go so I can fix you.
00:47:43No, no, no.
00:47:43No, less.
00:47:45Take me with you.
00:47:46I'm portable.
00:47:47You'll be safer here in the dollhouse.
00:47:48I feel very not safe.
00:47:50I feel very small.
00:47:51And, like, something bad could happen.
00:47:54I won't let something happen.
00:47:55Something did.
00:47:56Something else.
00:47:57Beyond the accident.
00:47:59But I have to go to the lab so I can fix you.
00:48:01Please, Les.
00:48:02I do not want to be alone.
00:48:03Please, I'm scared.
00:48:04Well, what if I can show you that, um, being small isn't scary?
00:48:09Oh, God.
00:48:10I've always wondered what the world would look like if I were six inches tall.
00:48:13Not me.
00:48:15I can show you.
00:48:16No, I, I don't.
00:48:18Aren't you just a little bit curious?
00:48:20I will be restored to regular size soon.
00:48:24I promise.
00:48:25Trust me.
00:48:29Okay.
00:48:31This is crazy.
00:48:34Oh, my.
00:48:43Oh, my.
00:49:10I mean, everything's really big.
00:49:13Really.
00:49:28Wow.
00:49:29I can only imagine how different everything looks, right?
00:49:33You see this dust ball?
00:49:36Do you think I could choke on this?
00:49:39Oh.
00:49:40Yeah, put that down.
00:49:44Hello, Dolores.
00:49:45Look who it is.
00:49:47See?
00:49:48She's not that scary.
00:49:49Why is she looking at me like that?
00:49:51Oh, oh, it's puffing up.
00:49:53Do you see what it's doing?
00:49:55No, no, no.
00:49:56It's trying to eat me.
00:49:57No, this is not interesting to me.
00:49:59Can you put me down, please?
00:50:00Put me down.
00:50:14It's fun, right?
00:50:16We all love a train ride.
00:50:17Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:21Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:28Merry Christmas.
00:50:30Merry Christmas.
00:50:33Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:39Merry Christmas to me!
00:50:46Merry Christmas, Wendy!
00:50:49Maybe too many times around?
00:50:51I want to get out!
00:50:53I don't want to eat it.
00:50:55Oh, I'm going to be sick.
00:50:59Oh, God.
00:51:03Oh, my God.
00:51:05Hey, it's going to be okay.
00:51:09I'm so sorry this happened.
00:51:12So incredibly sorry.
00:51:24Water truck ran out of shrinking gas.
00:51:26I'm going to go to the lab to refuel.
00:51:27What am I supposed to do with this?
00:51:29I thought I could crush it up and you could maybe snort it, but I don't know.
00:51:34Um, Scarface?
00:51:35I'll just gnaw on it or something.
00:51:41Who are you feeling?
00:51:43Really?
00:51:44I mean...
00:51:45I know what you mean.
00:51:47Better.
00:51:50I did always love this couch.
00:52:05When you're ready.
00:52:07Uh, pour away.
00:52:13Don't be shy.
00:52:15Don't be shy.
00:52:15So, this is my, uh, tiny little life now?
00:52:21Temporary tiny life.
00:52:23How long again?
00:52:24A day.
00:52:25Two at the most.
00:52:26I'm so close.
00:52:27So close.
00:52:28Yeah.
00:52:29Yeah.
00:52:34Did you microwave this off the floor?
00:52:36Floor is clean.
00:52:37You're the first person to ever walk on it.
00:52:40Six inch tall Neil fucking Armstrong?
00:52:42Kind of.
00:52:51Unless you put parmesan in the potatoes.
00:52:54Potatoes a la Diane.
00:52:57With a twist.
00:52:59Who?
00:53:00Reese Witherspoon from Legally Blonde.
00:53:02She's gonna play me in the movie.
00:53:04She's gonna play the sister character.
00:53:06I still don't know who that is.
00:53:07Walt?
00:53:08She's blonde, wears pink, goes to Harvard.
00:53:10That's a stretch.
00:53:12What?
00:53:13I am blonde.
00:53:14Les said that we could be twins.
00:53:16I'm sure he's just being kind.
00:53:18No, no, I think with the right hair and makeup, you know Hollywood, I mean.
00:53:21It's beyond me why they're even adapting a book into a film.
00:53:24Because it sold a million copies, cause it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:28Hollywood must be out of ideas.
00:53:31You're not excited?
00:53:32Uh, Laura Dern is playing the mother.
00:53:34I adore Laura Dern, but I question her judgement.
00:53:38The book wasn't well received.
00:53:39I repeated one Pulitzer.
00:53:41The Guardian dubbed it literary popcorn and added that does not a Pulitzer make.
00:53:45Their words.
00:53:46Which she memorized and repeat constantly.
00:53:49I can barely show my face at Wine Club Wednesday without Carol turning her nose up at me as if
00:53:55I were the devil incarnate.
00:53:56Walt?
00:53:57Your mother needs your Wine Club Wednesdays.
00:53:59That's not a stretch.
00:54:01Mom.
00:54:02It's fiction.
00:54:03Carol didn't see a character.
00:54:05Carol saw me and the me in your book is a monster.
00:54:09It's a comedy.
00:54:10It's a dark comedy.
00:54:11A coming of age story about a woman who felt abandoned and silenced by a monster of a mother character.
00:54:20You try being a single mother of two young girls whose husband walked out one day without a word.
00:54:28Walked out or was driven away?
00:54:29Jim abandoned me.
00:54:30No.
00:54:31He stopped being married to you.
00:54:34He abandoned me.
00:54:36Me too.
00:54:37And he's still the hero.
00:54:39I tried my best.
00:54:41Walt?
00:54:42If I may, Walt.
00:54:44Diane, have you tried the potatoes?
00:54:46I call them potatoes a la Diane.
00:54:49With a twist.
00:54:50Is the twist a turn of the knife?
00:54:51It's parmesan cheese.
00:54:53Try it.
00:55:00It's too rich, but absolutely divine.
00:55:03Just like you.
00:55:09Walt.
00:55:11I think we should visit the arch tomorrow.
00:55:13I hear it's dreadful.
00:55:16Yes.
00:55:16Yes.
00:55:17No, I don't get the arch.
00:55:19It's like an arch for what?
00:55:20It's the gateway to the west.
00:55:24I think it's great.
00:55:25I can barely show my face on wine club Wednesdays.
00:55:30Hollywood has run out of ideas.
00:55:32I think Laura Dern is very generous casting.
00:55:34I have to say hello.
00:55:40What's going on?
00:55:41Do you want to have sex?
00:55:42Oh, yes.
00:55:43Yes, we're here.
00:55:45We'll be quiet.
00:55:46We'll be fine.
00:55:47You're set to high volume.
00:55:49You.
00:55:50Watch.
00:55:51Watch.
00:55:51Watch.
00:55:54Okay.
00:55:54All right.
00:55:55Okay, good.
00:55:56Come on.
00:56:09You're defending me.
00:56:11You're defending me.
00:56:12You're defending me.
00:56:12The voice of the mind.
00:56:13The voice of the mind.
00:56:20Oh, my God.
00:56:21Oh, my God.
00:56:23Oh, my God.
00:56:24Oh, my God.
00:56:25Oh, my God.
00:56:26Jesus, whoa.
00:56:27Can we help you?
00:56:29Obviously, this isn't the washroom.
00:56:31It's down the hall with the light on.
00:56:32The one with the toilet.
00:56:34I can see the light.
00:56:36I lost the toilet.
00:56:41He's trying to escape.
00:56:44I can't be.
00:56:45We're too young.
00:56:48Oh, my God.
00:56:50Oh, fuck.
00:56:51Okay, okay.
00:56:53Maybe I can't be quiet.
00:56:55I don't think you can.
00:56:58Hey.
00:57:03I'm not really like her though, right?
00:57:05My mother, I'm not like Diane, am I?
00:57:09Does that make me Walt?
00:57:12Seriously?
00:57:12Seriously?
00:57:14Seriously?
00:57:14Seriously?
00:57:16No.
00:57:17Fuck no.
00:57:18Because she's...
00:57:19No, she's unbelievable.
00:57:20And not in a good way.
00:57:24It's gonna be okay.
00:57:26It's only a few days.
00:57:31Only a few days.
00:57:37It's only a few days.
00:57:39To be alive.
00:57:39I don't know.
00:58:10What?
00:58:11What?
00:58:12What?
00:58:14It can't be right.
00:58:18Okay, I'm coming in.
00:58:19Now.
00:58:21Now-ish.
00:58:45Magoo.
00:58:46Magoo.
00:58:49Stand.
00:58:51Stand.
00:58:55No, no, no, no, no.
00:59:00Magoo.
00:59:01Come here.
00:59:05Ow, fuck.
00:59:07You fuzzy fucker.
00:59:19Stop.
00:59:21Stop it.
00:59:23You're fine.
00:59:24You're bad enough already.
00:59:29I mean, she's safe, right?
00:59:42Hey!
00:59:44Hey!
00:59:47Yes, Richard?
00:59:48What is it?
00:59:49Oh.
00:59:50You seem upset.
00:59:51No, Richard, I'm fine.
00:59:52I'm fine.
00:59:53You know, I sometimes come in my car to cry, too, when I need a release, so I get where
00:59:58you're
00:59:59at.
01:00:00Okay, right?
01:00:00Is that all?
01:00:01Now you've got me worried.
01:00:02Is everything all right at home?
01:00:04You know, with your wife, Lindy.
01:00:06Lindy's her name, right?
01:00:07Yes, Richard.
01:00:07Everything okay?
01:00:07She's fine.
01:00:08Good, good.
01:00:09Yeah.
01:00:10She's just keeping busy over the holidays.
01:00:13Yes, Richard, she's at home writing.
01:00:15She's keeping busy.
01:00:16She's writing.
01:00:18Writing.
01:00:18That's wonderful.
01:00:19That's wonderful.
01:00:20Richard!
01:00:20Get your butt inside!
01:00:22I'm sorry to use profanity.
01:00:24I'm upset.
01:00:28I'll see you later.
01:00:39Les.
01:00:41Les?
01:00:46That is a toy.
01:00:53He left me?
01:00:56Right.
01:00:59I have to trust him.
01:01:02I cannot spiral.
01:01:07Oh.
01:01:08Yeah.
01:01:10Why not?
01:01:11Okay, that's it.
01:01:13That's good.
01:01:14Space colon.
01:01:15Colon?
01:01:16Colon-al.
01:01:19Kernel.
01:01:20Space kernel.
01:01:22Next stop, Uranus.
01:01:24I couldn't...
01:01:25Fuck, I'm already spiraling.
01:01:27You made me believe you were so close, so I believed you.
01:01:31Yes, and you should believe me.
01:01:33That's our deal.
01:01:33There is mathematical truth in stating I am so close.
01:01:36So what does so close mean to you in this context today?
01:01:42My God, I can't put an actual number on it.
01:01:44I don't know.
01:01:46What?
01:01:48What have you done?
01:01:49What have I done?
01:01:50Martin, I didn't want to say you have one job.
01:01:53Contract is for 30 days.
01:01:56That's insane!
01:01:57Well, you said that you were close!
01:01:5930 days?!
01:02:00Ugh.
01:02:02Well, it will work.
01:02:03I mean, the math says it will and math is never wrong, so...
01:02:07Now you have 30 days!
01:02:08No, no, no.
01:02:09We have 30 days.
01:02:10Oh, now it's we.
01:02:11What does it say exactly?
01:02:12What does the small print say exactly?
01:02:13It says that we have 30 days to prove that the restoration formula works, or the patent
01:02:21on our tech...
01:02:22On my tech, thank you.
01:02:23...reverts to Hilton, and Hilton sues you.
01:02:26Sues us.
01:02:28For fraud.
01:02:29And you go to jail.
01:02:31To jail?
01:02:32Well, can he do that?
01:02:33He can.
01:02:34And after 30 days, it goes.
01:02:36The tech, the lab, the bobs, gone.
01:02:41But, but...
01:02:42Okay, so how do I make...
01:02:44Uh...
01:02:45How do I...
01:02:47How do I make things big again?
01:02:49Because I have to make things big again.
01:02:51Well, after 30 days, you can't.
01:02:56This is really actually silly.
01:02:59I mean, can he actually do this?
01:03:00Yes, he can.
01:03:02And it says it right here.
01:03:06Less.
01:03:08How bad is this?
01:03:12Okay.
01:03:17I'm not even going to ask about the cat.
01:03:30Hmm.
01:03:31Hmm.
01:03:34Um...
01:03:36Hey, I...
01:03:37I got you something for Christmas.
01:03:40Oh!
01:03:40I...
01:03:41I...
01:03:41I didn't get you anything.
01:03:43Oh, that's...
01:03:44It's okay.
01:03:45I didn't want you.
01:03:48Like what Shakespeare used to write with.
01:03:50You never like Shakespeare?
01:03:52Oh, everybody knows you like Shakespeare.
01:03:54Bars guard.
01:03:55Well, you talk about it a lot.
01:03:57Yeah.
01:03:59Um...
01:04:00You seem a little bit down.
01:04:02No, I'm...
01:04:03Just tired.
01:04:04Yeah.
01:04:05I was waiting up last night for someone.
01:04:09Someone special.
01:04:10You know, and it's just...
01:04:14Well, Merry Christmas, Richard.
01:04:16Oh, thank you, Janet.
01:04:17This is a very thoughtful gift.
01:04:24I returneth to thine grind.
01:04:36Okay.
01:04:36Buddy.
01:04:39Thank you for moving her.
01:04:49Oh.
01:04:51Right.
01:04:52Okay.
01:04:54Oh, that's good.
01:04:57Okay.
01:05:02Oh, come on.
01:05:07Okay.
01:05:09Oh, my God.
01:05:14Oh, there we go.
01:05:17Guide.
01:05:22Oh.
01:05:23A classic.
01:05:25Come on.
01:05:29Volume.
01:05:31Oh.
01:05:33We're never turning this off.
01:05:35Okay, Saks.
01:05:38So...
01:05:39We've got popcorn.
01:05:42But no candy.
01:05:47Oh, less.
01:05:49That's just for me.
01:05:59Richard, I need everyone at the top of their game today.
01:06:01It's a big day.
01:06:02It could be the day.
01:06:03Needs to be the day.
01:06:04Or two.
01:06:06At the most.
01:06:11Here are my thoughts.
01:06:15Adjust the last line on the Maxwell stress tensor to B sub J.
01:06:19Minus one-half times the quantity of epsilon naught.
01:06:23Times E squared plus B squared over mu naught.
01:06:27Thoughts complete.
01:06:28Bob.
01:06:30Implement his thoughts.
01:06:36B sub J minus one-half times the quantity of epsilon naught.
01:06:41Times E squared plus B squared over mu naught.
01:06:45Complete.
01:06:46Carl, implement his thoughts.
01:07:00Comfy.
01:07:01Come on.
01:07:13Comfy.
01:07:28Let's make history.
01:08:13Let's make history.
01:08:16A great attempt in the name of science.
01:08:19Richard?
01:08:20Bob, the explainer.
01:08:23Nominal success.
01:08:24Subject expanded to regular size for 2.1 seconds.
01:08:28Same as previous attempt.
01:08:30Result, molecular disequilibrium.
01:08:33Eraser Bob, see medic.
01:08:34Bring in Fred.
01:08:35Clean up an aisle everywhere.
01:08:38Richard?
01:08:39Waiting on analysis to proceed.
01:08:41We'll adjust based on your thoughts.
01:08:43We'll go again.
01:08:45No, you won't.
01:08:46If this is your definition of close, we have a big problem.
01:08:50You working in a bubble with your staff and your secrets ends today.
01:08:54Moving forward, everything that happens in this lab will be authorized by me.
01:08:59No.
01:09:00No, no, no, no.
01:09:03This is not how we work here.
01:09:05We are making history.
01:09:07Okay?
01:09:07That corn was regular size.
01:09:10It's incredible.
01:09:11As a scientist, how can you not see that?
01:09:13Reports, equipment, results, any spending whatsoever, everything you use must be logged up to and
01:09:19including packets of instant oatmeal in the break room.
01:09:21Can I explain my fiber deficiencies?
01:09:24Okay, everybody, everybody.
01:09:25This is Virginia.
01:09:26Vivian.
01:09:27Vivian.
01:09:27I don't know her last name, but she's new here and she doesn't know how things work.
01:09:31And, Bob, you don't need to worry about your oatmeal.
01:09:33Okay?
01:09:33Can we just talk about this?
01:09:36Martin, you know exactly how much money this science circus is hemorrhaging.
01:09:40I don't care about the money.
01:09:41Of course you don't.
01:09:42You spent seven years and several hundred thousand dollars designing your logo.
01:09:48I had to open the books.
01:09:49Well, it had to be perfect.
01:09:51What?
01:09:52Irresponsible and deeply sad.
01:09:54Dr. Littlejohn, it's no longer your money.
01:09:56It's Hilton Smith's money.
01:09:57This is his lab now, and I run Hilton's lab.
01:10:00Ergo, I run this lab.
01:10:02This is unacceptable, and it's ridiculous.
01:10:04And do something.
01:10:08Okay, no we, no we, just me.
01:10:10I want to talk to Hilton right now.
01:10:13Well, good luck reaching him.
01:10:15He's spending the holidays piloting an experimental submersible off the coast of Guam.
01:10:20Guam?
01:10:21Guam?
01:10:22What?
01:10:23Shut it down.
01:10:24We'll try again tomorrow.
01:10:26Together.
01:10:27These ladders are an OSHA violation.
01:10:30You're an OSHA violation!
01:10:33Dear Harry Jesus!
01:10:35And I hope Hilton gets crushed into ketchup by 400 atmospheres of pressure!
01:10:4029 days.
01:10:41Not helpful.
01:10:42Not the point!
01:10:50What have I done?
01:10:59Midnight for the stars and you.
01:11:06Midnight and a rendezvous.
01:11:12Your eyes held a message tender, saying I surrender all my life.
01:11:22Oh, it's my phone.
01:11:25Oh, my phone!
01:11:26Oh, oh!
01:11:30Come here, come here, come here!
01:11:32What?
01:11:33What?
01:11:35What?
01:11:37What?
01:11:38What?
01:11:39What?
01:11:39What?
01:11:39What?
01:11:44What?
01:11:45No!
01:11:47Oh!
01:11:49No!
01:11:53No!
01:11:55No!
01:12:04Fuck!
01:12:04Did you just say something?
01:12:12Am I losing my mind?
01:12:19I can see me in you.
01:12:25Do you know?
01:12:27What?
01:12:28Ah!
01:12:29What is that?
01:12:30Oh, fuck.
01:12:32Oh, fuck.
01:12:38I gotta get out of here!
01:12:44Ow!
01:12:46Fuck!
01:12:52Jesus.
01:12:54Goddammit, let...
01:12:58For fuck's sake.
01:13:02Ah!
01:13:03God!
01:13:04Dang it!
01:13:05Ah!
01:13:13Aaah!
01:13:16Ah!
01:13:19Ah!
01:13:21Ah!
01:13:22Ah!!
01:13:24Ah!
01:13:48Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:14:20Oh, God, oh, God.
01:14:25Oh, God.
01:14:34Oh, God.
01:14:35Oh, God.
01:14:36I'll save you.
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