- 5 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
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💕 ️
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:05Please save my child.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:43Rejuvening.
00:00:51Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:58What?
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:05Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:34Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:49We're juvenile.
00:01:54See? Good is the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo! Let's go!
00:02:13Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:17Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:21We have no idea what the illness is. If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:26The Elizander Armstrong! His military family basically owns the entire global stock market!
00:02:32He's so hot! Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:38Money. Fame. Power. It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:56Grandma!
00:02:56I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma?
00:03:02Grandma.
00:03:03When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:07I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:16Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:22We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:27No!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:40Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:44Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:47The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What? Oh, geez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:55Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:01Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:06Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:11Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:14Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:25What? My migraine's gone.
00:04:28Okay, then let's go.
00:04:29If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on. Come on.
00:04:33Oh!
00:04:47How is he?
00:04:48What is the diagnosis?
00:04:50Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:55Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:57You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:59Don't worry, General.
00:05:00I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:26I have no clue what this is.
00:05:30Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:38Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:06:04They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:06:06If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:16The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second.
00:06:21You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:23That's correct.
00:06:24Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:30That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:34We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive.
00:06:40No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son,
00:06:46I don't care if I go bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her.
00:06:49James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer will give her five million dollars.
00:06:59There's no need.
00:07:14I'll save your son.
00:07:17Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:21Brother, don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly.
00:07:28God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew!
00:07:35She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:39That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:50Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:56But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:03Could you hold this?
00:08:04Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:05You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:11I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:19Who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:31Ew!
00:08:32Disgusting.
00:08:33Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:35Security!
00:08:35Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:40If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:55You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58Alright, I'll give you a shot.
00:09:01But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall!
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:10You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:12And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:20Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:22No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:24My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:26I can't lose him.
00:09:28Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:39Also, he's great with puppies.
00:09:40He'd make a great husband.
00:09:44Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:45As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her.
00:09:56Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:01Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time.
00:10:08But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:20Oh, okay!
00:10:23What's happening?
00:10:24What are we doing?
00:10:35Oh!
00:10:36What the hell are you doing?
00:10:39I knew she was a perv!
00:10:41She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:44Do you all not know that Sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane?
00:10:48Security, smash her face in for licking my son!
00:10:52He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:10:59Yeah, right!
00:11:01I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him!
00:11:04Oh, okay.
00:11:05I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:07I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:11And I've never heard of endo-cryo...
00:11:15What?
00:11:16What?
00:11:17Hmm.
00:11:18This?
00:11:25Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29What?
00:11:30So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, THE rod of a sepulius?
00:11:36Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:41I agree.
00:11:42I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
00:11:48years?
00:11:49We are all certified.
00:11:51But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:54She's right about everything.
00:11:58Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:03And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:12:07Endogenic cryomorphie.
00:12:08Oh.
00:12:09And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:11Because I just discovered it.
00:12:13This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:17The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:19A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:22But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:27What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:28I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:33Precisely.
00:12:34You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:36You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:41I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:45Oh, so she went to the stripper circus instead.
00:12:49And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:53which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:57Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:59Oh my God.
00:13:01If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:04I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:07Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:13It means you're being schooled by me.
00:13:15And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:19Then let's have a bet.
00:13:21If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:13:26And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:32These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:37You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:40Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:43There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:47Don't worry. I got this.
00:13:52It's a deal.
00:13:53I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:55No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:04Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:11Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:15Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:27I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:30I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:33I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:38Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:41Wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:14:43Don't listen to her.
00:14:45She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:50Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:53Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:15:01What? Did you just call me?
00:15:05There's a man's life at stake here and you're standing in my way.
00:15:10Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:13Now stop getting in my way or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:20Oh, yeah?
00:15:21Hey, you wanna see real pain? Where's the dog?
00:15:23Well, put down the dog!
00:15:25With pleasure.
00:15:41Left leaves the wrong breath.
00:15:47You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:53She's been poisoned!
00:15:56It was her!
00:15:57Do you see any poison on me?
00:16:00Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:06This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:09Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:11Of course!
00:16:12I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:16If I wanna save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:35Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:37This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:38I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way.
00:16:42Angel herbalist.
00:16:43This is what I call...
00:16:45Malpractice.
00:16:47This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:16:50But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:52Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:54Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:55Right this way.
00:16:56Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:58What the hell is going on?
00:16:59You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:03Then stop getting in my way. Every second counts.
00:17:08Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:14General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:19Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:23Hold on. You two are going in there... alone?
00:17:27If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:33Alright. But I warn you, no funny business.
00:17:37I'll do this.
00:17:38Oh, my God.
00:17:44Yes.
00:17:58Well, you know, the man.
00:18:00No, I'll do this.
00:18:03Now we can stop being500 and we'll be right back.
00:18:03Let's go.
00:18:03That's right.
00:18:05It's probably not too much.
00:18:05That's why we're going to get the rest of the world.
00:18:06Don't we know what the hell is.
00:18:06But it's not too bad.
00:18:07That's a weird thing.
00:18:07You can't see your family isn't dead.
00:18:07I know some kind of thing, you know.
00:18:39You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
00:18:43Exactly!
00:18:44What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:18:46She could blackmail you for millions.
00:18:50That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:18:52And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation, held for ransom by a homeless woman.
00:18:59Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:02We have to have faith.
00:19:04Where did you actually find this low light?
00:19:08Uh, on the streets?
00:19:11Are you shitting me?
00:19:13You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:15Are you nuts?
00:19:15You don't know her.
00:19:17You don't know her background.
00:19:18She could be a psychotic murderer.
00:19:20That is it, General.
00:19:21You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:22You're right.
00:19:23That's it.
00:19:24I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:26James, let's go.
00:19:27Yes, sir.
00:19:38I told you all to stay out.
00:19:46This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:47We can't be interrupted.
00:19:48Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:54I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:20:00I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:02No, thank you.
00:20:07You see that, General?
00:20:08This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:10This is a witchcraft.
00:20:13I know what this is.
00:20:15This is the dark witch.
00:20:17I've heard of her.
00:20:18She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men, and then she eats them alive.
00:20:24I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:27James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:30Yes, sir.
00:20:34You're regaining consciousness.
00:20:45Help me.
00:20:47I just want to...
00:20:52Something's wrong.
00:20:56You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:59Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:04That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:13Sir?
00:21:14The SWAT team is here.
00:21:16Captain Morales.
00:21:19My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:24I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:27Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:29We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:36Right.
00:21:37He writes the wrong.
00:21:42Human.
00:21:46Who the fuck are you?
00:21:48And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:51Good.
00:21:52You're awake.
00:21:53I'm saving you.
00:21:54Saving me?
00:21:56By bathing with me?
00:21:58Who are you?
00:21:59Are you a fucking spy?
00:22:01I swear to God, I'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:05You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stipper.
00:22:10I will never.
00:22:11Oh, really?
00:22:25Look who's guilty now.
00:22:29Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right, but it is a biological fact.
00:22:33A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:39Science, okay? It just means that my body-
00:22:41Oh, shut up.
00:22:41Is physically-
00:22:45You're distracting me with your phone.
00:22:47And I'm a professional.
00:22:49I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:51Captain, do something now.
00:22:53Ready!
00:22:58We're almost there.
00:23:00Aim!
00:23:02Get him, boys. Get him!
00:23:06Fire!
00:23:09Fire!
00:23:10Fire!
00:23:25Those the missiles.
00:23:27How is this possible?
00:23:29It's not even a scratch.
00:23:30I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:33Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:36No.
00:23:36I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:39She's not the dark witch.
00:23:40Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:44This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:48How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:50That's right.
00:23:51The queen, Angel, and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:55If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:58Except for the goddess healer.
00:23:59Think about it.
00:24:00We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:02He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:04Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:05You're right.
00:24:06This homeless girl is maybe the goddess-
00:24:12Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess-
00:24:15No!
00:24:15No!
00:24:16Absolutely not!
00:24:17There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:21But how could you know for sure?
00:24:22Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:26You're wrong, sir!
00:24:27This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:32It's called borderline revival.
00:24:34She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:37But only temporarily.
00:24:39It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:44That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:46I'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can.
00:24:49To kill that antler-rod-bearing witch!
00:24:52My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:54He is dying right now, naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant!
00:24:59Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:25:00The witch doctor.
00:25:02Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:06My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:09You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:13I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:19from me.
00:25:21This is it.
00:25:22The finishing touch.
00:25:24I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:27So we can both survive.
00:25:47It's poison gas.
00:25:49The poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:54Poison gas?
00:25:56My son is in there!
00:25:58You're jeopardizing his life as well!
00:26:00No, don't worry General!
00:26:01Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:05Soon, she'll come out crying to mommy.
00:26:08Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:10And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:13They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:18I made a promise to you that I'd save you.
00:26:21It's now or never.
00:26:35What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:37It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:38Wait a second.
00:26:40You don't think that they're...
00:26:42You! You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:45Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:47If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:26:51Oh my god.
00:26:51Yeah? She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:54I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:58Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:27:02This is taking way too long.
00:27:05Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
00:27:08These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:13Bazooka?
00:27:13She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:16Crap. Oh my god. Get back, son.
00:27:20Ready.
00:27:21Aim!
00:27:22Oh shit!
00:27:27Quit your whining and stand down!
00:27:41The parasite's been extracted. Shoot her dead now!
00:27:44Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:47I said stand down!
00:27:50Don't listen to her. She's a fraud.
00:27:52A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:55I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:58If I'm a termite then, you're worse than a disease spreading tick.
00:28:03Wait a second. Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:06He'll wake in just a moment. You can see for yourself.
00:28:09Well now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:12That is it! No more stalling, General!
00:28:15If you won't punish her, I will!
00:28:21Don't hurt her.
00:28:27He's a cure!
00:28:33His pulse is regular. In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:40There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:51Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:53Lysander's warm again. He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:56And his heart is strong. Come, feel it.
00:29:01I saved my son. Thank you.
00:29:03Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:07Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:12I've learned my lesson.
00:29:13I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:18Wait! Wait! No, no!
00:29:19There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine
00:29:24than the Queen, Angel, and I.
00:29:28The Goddess Healer!
00:29:33Could you really be the Goddess of Healing?
00:29:36But rumor has it that the Goddess of Healing is well over 100 years old,
00:29:41and you don't look a day after 20.
00:29:44It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:45What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:48Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:52Take care.
00:29:53No, wait!
00:29:54Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:57He's right.
00:29:58We are men of our words.
00:30:00And as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife if you cured him.
00:30:04And you did just that.
00:30:06Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:10I really appreciate it, but...
00:30:12I'm sorry, I...
00:30:15I'm already engaged.
00:30:19Already engaged?
00:30:20I am.
00:30:21I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years.
00:30:25And he's coming back today.
00:30:27But don't be disappointed.
00:30:29Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:31I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:33Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:36But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:38Please, let me give you what I promised. Take the gold.
00:30:42No, really.
00:30:44I don't need anything.
00:30:45I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:51Trixie?
00:30:52It's your fiancé.
00:30:53He's back.
00:30:54And he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:58I must go.
00:31:06Hobo close.
00:31:07Halo glow.
00:31:09I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:12It was just dumb luck.
00:31:14She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:16She could have been the richest woman in the world.
00:31:19Marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:25I'm gonna marry that homeless woman.
00:31:32Oh, my God.
00:31:33I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:31:39No, no, no, no, no, Lysander.
00:31:42Lysander was not what's supposed to be mine.
00:31:45I'd so much rather share him with you than let that panty-less, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:50You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:53Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:57Wait. No. We're not brides.
00:31:59I know she's just better than us.
00:32:02Oh, my God.
00:32:06We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:09She's no average Jane.
00:32:10No, she isn't.
00:32:11She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:13But if she truly had these special skills,
00:32:16why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:20But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:21No normal person could have done that.
00:32:23Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:27I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:28I have to find her. I have to make her my life.
00:32:31She won my heart over, too.
00:32:32But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:36Alright, listen.
00:32:38I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:45I'm dumping Trixie.
00:32:46So I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house.
00:32:52Now.
00:32:53Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:55She waited for you for three years.
00:32:58She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:33:00And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:33:02One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:05So get lost.
00:33:07Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:16Grandma.
00:33:18Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:21I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:23I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:27In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:30So sign over the house, now.
00:33:37You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:40And I did.
00:33:41For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:44Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:47And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:50Do you have no shame?
00:33:51We were together for three years and, uh,
00:33:54it was a complete waste of my life.
00:33:55When I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:03That's how much you would owe me if I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business.
00:34:09I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:17Oh yeah?
00:34:19Well, Marissa...
00:34:21is so much better than you.
00:34:23Now, she grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:26And now, she's the CEO of an entire corporation!
00:34:33And you?
00:34:35You're still nothing.
00:34:37So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:39Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:42Look what she, uh, got me for my engagement.
00:34:45Oops.
00:34:47Yeah.
00:34:48That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:57You gave her the presidential contract?
00:35:00I certainly did.
00:35:01In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:13Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:15That break-up must have hit her hard.
00:35:17You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:35:22My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:35:28How dare you insult her?
00:35:31It's okay, Grandma. Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:35Poor Edna.
00:35:36She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:39What is he talking about, Josie?
00:35:41Show her, Bob.
00:35:47This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:35:50She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:53She was begging on the street for money.
00:35:56I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:59Even if you got no game, I got street cred I got out of keep. You dig?
00:36:04The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:06And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:10Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:15I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:17I want to see how regular, everyday people live.
00:36:20So that I can help them.
00:36:23Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
00:36:27What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:28It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:36:38Enough bullshitting already. Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:36:54At your wedding, I will.
00:36:56What?
00:36:57If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend, why
00:37:03should I do good by you?
00:37:04I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
00:37:10Fucking bitch! You better keep your word.
00:37:13Oh, that's rich.
00:37:15After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:37:18Do remember that.
00:37:26Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now. They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:33Grandma, I have to confess something to you. I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:40Trillions?
00:37:43That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:37:47It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
00:37:53I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:37:56That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:38:01It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:05But please, Trixie dear, I know it was too broken your heart, but embellishing your worth and who you are,
00:38:14it will only delay the healing process.
00:38:17You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:38:19After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills, I vowed that I
00:38:26would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:38:29That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to charity.
00:38:33You've always had an angel's heart.
00:38:35I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right, who actually deserves you.
00:38:41You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:45Oh, yeah.
00:38:51You said Trixie's crushing your wedding?
00:38:53She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:56She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:38:59I hope when nobody steps on a snake, the snake bites back hard.
00:39:05So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:07Yeah.
00:39:08You mean, we broadcast that video of you?
00:39:16Yes.
00:39:16Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:39:20She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess against my
00:39:25presidential glow up.
00:39:26Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:39:35There he is.
00:39:38Welcome home, brother.
00:39:40Welcome home, General!
00:39:44Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:49He served with her regiment in the Marines.
00:39:51You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
00:39:54Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:58So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her?
00:40:01Fucking coward.
00:40:02According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:40:05Then we should join her.
00:40:08Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
00:40:13So she needs our support.
00:40:15Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:16Yes, sir!
00:40:17We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
00:40:20Well, let's roll.
00:40:36Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:40:39Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:40:41Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract, allowing
00:40:47my biomedical company to go public.
00:40:53Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:40:55Wakeham Stowe.
00:40:57Butch is taking my last name.
00:40:59Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:41:02You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a par-tay after all.
00:41:07I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:13The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
00:41:19It's an honor. And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:41:25We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:28We'll let the wedding begin!
00:41:32Not so fast.
00:41:34The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:41:58You two really are a match made in hell.
00:42:01So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:42:04I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles. Who is she?
00:42:08This is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:11Just watch.
00:42:15Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:16This isn't the homeless shelter. You lost.
00:42:18I bet she's here to bum a meal off us. You know, being this poor.
00:42:24Me, bum a meal.
00:42:26Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:42:30And what evidence do you have of that?
00:42:32Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:42:34I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:37Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:42:41And you're nothing but a washed-up sewer rat.
00:42:44Sasa, she's like, so obsessed with me, she won't wash up.
00:42:48See, everyone?
00:42:50Butch already cut ties with his ex, but she's so shameless and desperate
00:42:54that she'd still show up to my wedding to suck up to me.
00:42:58This is what poor, sad girls do.
00:43:00They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:43:05Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:06You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:11Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:18You, giving me the contract?
00:43:21You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:43:25So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president to give me a billion
00:43:31dollar contract?
00:43:31We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:34And I saw potential in you.
00:43:36Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:43:38But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:42Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
00:43:45This is what us rich girls do.
00:43:47They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:50Damn right.
00:43:52You were too embarrassing for me.
00:43:55Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:57I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:44:00Bravo.
00:44:01Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:02Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
00:44:04Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:44:07You should make her sup.
00:44:08Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:09She's the gold-digging, blood-sucking leech.
00:44:12I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, Butch.
00:44:19You may look and sound like a man.
00:44:21But you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:44:23Okay, enough!
00:44:24You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:44:26Your moral posturing.
00:44:28But guess what?
00:44:30Morals are just lies to make you and girls feel better about yourselves.
00:44:33That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:37Because I've got the material goods.
00:44:39And you're just all empty talk.
00:44:41I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:44:43Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:44:47See this?
00:44:59Oh my god.
00:45:01Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:45:06The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:08No, absolutely not.
00:45:10I don't believe it.
00:45:12You all sound so scared already.
00:45:14Don't worry.
00:45:15This isn't that contract.
00:45:17It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:45:23See everyone?
00:45:24She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:26But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:45:28Look at her following orders.
00:45:29I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:45:32Like a good little, uh, peasant slave.
00:45:35That house is worth all her life savings.
00:45:40You want to, uh, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:45:54You must understand me.
00:45:56I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:45:59I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:00Oh!
00:46:07Bro!
00:46:08She's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:10She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress,
00:46:12she can pretend to be a deep pocket-investing baddie.
00:46:15You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:18It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:20Uh, I-I know what this is.
00:46:22Ha!
00:46:23You've gone delusional.
00:46:24And you think you're Cinderella,
00:46:25so you can just show up to a fancy party
00:46:27and some Prince Charming will scoop you into money forever?
00:46:30Well, that's not happening.
00:46:32Security!
00:46:33Lock the doors.
00:46:34This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:46:39This is where your dreams will die, bitch!
00:46:45We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:47She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress
00:46:48at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:50Butch Tanner.
00:46:51Well, he's gonna wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:46:54Let's go.
00:46:58You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:47:01I've saved plenty of people for much worse.
00:47:05Including your head of command, Butch.
00:47:07General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:10You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:12He's been in a coma for years
00:47:14after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:16You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:20So how could you possibly have this magical ability
00:47:23to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:26No one here is gonna believe you.
00:47:27Have you really cured the incurable General?
00:47:30Then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:47:33And she's not.
00:47:34You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:37Show them, Butch.
00:47:43See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:45Trixie's just a...
00:47:47...reloading beggar.
00:47:51She won't leave me and Marissa alone, cause we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:55I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:57Sasa, she has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military!
00:48:03Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch!
00:48:07How despicable.
00:48:09She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:13Get out of here.
00:48:14No one wants to marry you.
00:48:15No free meals for the poor!
00:48:17Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:19This is high society.
00:48:21So you're either born on a silver spoon, or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
00:48:25Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
00:48:35I already have everything one can dream of.
00:48:37But I valued our friendship, Marissa.
00:48:39Which is why I came here to give you a second chance.
00:48:42To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
00:48:45But no.
00:48:46You stooped so low, it disgusts me.
00:48:50Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
00:48:54And who knows?
00:48:55If you've already started offering sexual services?
00:48:59Well then.
00:49:01Why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:49:03My brother will never take you back.
00:49:06No man will marry an embarrassment like you.
00:49:09But make me happy?
00:49:11And I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:49:25How dare you hit my brother!
00:49:27I'm never letting you leave here alive!
00:49:30That's awesome.
00:49:31Do something.
00:49:32Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:34After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:49:39Oh.
00:49:40Is that so?
00:49:42Security!
00:49:44Get down on your knees and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here, or I'll
00:49:50pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:54I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:49:57Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
00:50:02Dream on!
00:50:04You wish General Lysander scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
00:50:08You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:10Enough!
00:50:12You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:18On the count of three!
00:50:20I think I quite like it here.
00:50:21Two!
00:50:32Mmm.
00:50:33This wine is so delicious.
00:50:36One!
00:50:37Shoot!
00:50:40Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:50:50It's...
00:50:51It's...
00:51:01Who the hell is this?
00:51:06I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:07Did they hurt you?
00:51:09No.
00:51:10I'm fine.
00:51:11But, um...
00:51:12When did I become your future wife?
00:51:15You saved me, Trixie, remember?
00:51:18I'm a man of my word.
00:51:20They're never gonna hurt you ever again.
00:51:22Really?
00:51:23It was nothing.
00:51:25I saved you because you're a good man.
00:51:27Not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:51:35I see what this is.
00:51:36You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:51:38Look at you guys all lovey-dove.
00:51:41Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:42She waited for you for three years.
00:51:43This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
00:51:48Virtue?
00:51:50Don't make me laugh.
00:51:52She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:54No man who, in a hundred-foot pole, would want to touch her.
00:51:58She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:52:05I see her in the marines.
00:52:08I'm a major.
00:52:10You know, look man.
00:52:11I know Trixie is like a, I don't know, like a seven.
00:52:14Now that she's all cleaned up, but don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:52:20Ow!
00:52:23Ow!
00:52:24Ow!
00:52:25A real man never talks about a woman that way.
00:52:30You're a coward.
00:52:40We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them.
00:52:44You're very gracious Trixie, you know that?
00:52:49You're only getting off of it because she's so kind.
00:52:51So you're going to do me the favor of never coming near her again.
00:52:53You understand?
00:52:54You want to fuck with me, you little dipshit?
00:52:56I'm a fucking major.
00:52:58You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts.
00:53:01I'll, I'll destroy you.
00:53:03Do you really not know who this is, Butch?
00:53:05I thought you were in the marines.
00:53:07What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:11He was just a supply boy.
00:53:15War hero?
00:53:17Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:20Poor girl.
00:53:21Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:25A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries.
00:53:28Trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:53:34A bum girl and a pimp.
00:53:36What a pair.
00:53:38Seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long.
00:53:42Maybe we should try to piss him off some more, don't you think?
00:53:46Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:55What is all this?
00:53:57Trixie, listen, I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life.
00:54:01But I know that we shared a moment.
00:54:06I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear.
00:54:10It's not in my nature.
00:54:12Unlike somebody else here.
00:54:14Listen, Trixie, I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:22So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:25So I know that you're the one for me.
00:54:29This guy's either nuts or a really, really good actor.
00:54:34Oscar worthy. Oscar worthy.
00:54:37No.
00:54:38First gift.
00:54:43Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:54:46So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:54:50Worth $500 million.
00:54:51Previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:55Second gift.
00:54:59This contains all the rights to my entire fortune, which is now yours.
00:55:04Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:55:07It must be that easy.
00:55:08They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:11They've got nothing left.
00:55:13Lysander, I really don't care for any of us.
00:55:16Look, I know.
00:55:17I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:20Okay?
00:55:21Which is exactly why my third gift is, um...
00:55:26Well...
00:55:27...
00:55:28...
00:55:36...
00:55:37...
00:55:39...
00:55:39...
00:55:39...
00:55:39...
00:55:41...
00:55:42...
00:55:42...
00:55:43...
00:55:43...
00:55:43...
00:55:45Oh my God.
00:55:47You found my dog.
00:55:51Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:55:53But with you, it's so much more.
00:55:56Trixie Amore.
00:56:00Will you marry me?
00:56:03You know I can't say no to this doggo?
00:56:09Yes, I will marry you.
00:56:27Go, go, power couple.
00:56:30Woo!
00:56:31Okay, stop.
00:56:32The only power couple here is Butch and I.
00:56:37Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is.
00:56:41No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:56:46Hey.
00:56:47I don't care if she's homeless or not.
00:56:49But I'm making this woman my wife.
00:56:51Which means that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on Earth.
00:56:56Understand?
00:57:01You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on Earth.
00:57:05This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:15As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:22Yes, the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market.
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:57:32I bet my life you're all just actors.
00:57:34Then you better enjoy your last breath.
00:57:37Come on, Lysander.
00:57:38What are we waiting for?
00:57:38Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie.
00:57:40What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us?
00:57:43The elites.
00:57:44Infect us with your poor people bad luck.
00:57:46She wishes.
00:57:47She could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:57:50Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin bum.
00:57:54She's utterly unmarriable.
00:57:58I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:58:03I'd handle them myself, but...
00:58:06I'll let you do all the heavy lifting.
00:58:09Go ahead, Lysander.
00:58:17Yes, hello, this is Lysander.
00:58:19Please, bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me.
00:58:22Oh my gosh, I'm so scared.
00:58:25Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:58:35Uh, hello?
00:58:37Yes.
00:58:39What?
00:58:44I'm going bankrupt!
00:58:48Hey, hey, hey.
00:58:54Hey, hey, hey.
00:58:55Are you sure that was the call, Sasha?
00:58:58That was a real call?
00:58:59People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:59:01My company's dead.
00:59:02It evaporated.
00:59:04It's in thin air.
00:59:08That's impossible.
00:59:10Who are you?
00:59:11What did you do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho, you said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:16And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:20Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:23What?
00:59:24Then that means...
00:59:26You're really Lysander Armstrong, the richest and most powerful man in the country.
00:59:33Trixie's married the famed war hero.
00:59:37The man every girl wants and every man wants to be.
00:59:41Now you believe me?
00:59:42Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
00:59:46There's gotta be some trick to this.
00:59:48You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us.
00:59:51It's awesome.
00:59:52It's awesome.
00:59:54Please.
00:59:54Please.
01:00:00I know why you're all over Trixie.
01:00:02Because you've been in the military for so long, you don't know what a real woman can do for you.
01:00:07Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:12Please remove your hands for me or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:20I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:26Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:00:31Sasa was just trying to save the company.
01:00:34I don't blame her at all.
01:00:35Your double standards are incredible.
01:00:37Okay, you don't want me.
01:00:39Fine.
01:00:40But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:00:42I can give you a room full of pageant winners.
01:00:4418 years old.
01:00:46Fresh for the taking.
01:00:54I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie.
01:00:57Thank you, Devon.
01:00:59Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancé,
01:01:06but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:10You're an insult to all good women out there.
01:01:12No, to all of humanity.
01:01:14So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:21Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:25They're imposters.
01:01:30I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled,
01:01:35because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself.
01:01:37So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:40The goddess healer?
01:01:41You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:47Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:01:51The goddess healer's motto is the right rewrites the wrong, the left leave the wrong bereft.
01:01:58That means she's rewarding me.
01:02:00The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:02:04In fact, she's on her way now.
01:02:07So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:14Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:15If the president and the goddess healer approves of my products, who cares about this washed-up war hero?
01:02:21We can break his legs, break his arms.
01:02:23No one would even bat an eye.
01:02:24She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:28FBI!
01:02:30FBI!
01:02:31You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:02:36Gotcha!
01:02:41Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:02:44No!
01:02:44Don't arrest her!
01:02:46Trixie's a good person!
01:02:48Please, officer, don't arrest her!
01:02:50Grandma.
01:02:51Mr. Rogers.
01:02:52Mrs. Williams.
01:02:53What are you all doing here?
01:02:54The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch.
01:02:57We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:03:00Listen, officer.
01:03:01I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:03:04She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:03:08Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition, Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her
01:03:14out.
01:03:15She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:18My fiancee really is an incredible woman.
01:03:21She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:28You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:32My brother is not a criminal.
01:03:34He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:03:38Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:03:41And that's why his choice to crime is stealing his identity.
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist.
01:03:49And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:03:58But I promise that I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:04:04If you wanna arrest me, fine.
01:04:07But don't fuck with my fiancee.
01:04:09You don't get to decide, punk.
01:04:10Let's go!
01:04:34Get him!
01:04:35If you can.
01:04:51Get him!
01:05:09Get him!
01:05:27Is that enough pain?
01:05:28Or do you want more?
01:05:37legend is written all over you icenander grandma meet my new fiance
01:05:48wow your new fiance he's so manly much better than your last one
01:05:54i always knew you'd find someone better it's butch's loss trixie has always been so much
01:06:00better than marissa she's like a shining star in the sky and marissa's like a roach in the sewers
01:06:07bitch we name calling now i'll drown you out with insults from my side right fam drown out the poor
01:06:13drown out the poor drown out the poor drown out the poor drown out the poor see trixie you've got
01:06:22no connections no power you can't compete against me even if you have one guy on your side who can
01:06:27fight we're too honorable to fight dirty like you so you're using defenseless lives as your shield
01:06:33because you know we won't hurt them let them eat cake
01:06:46you can't shoot all of them grab what you can fam attack
01:07:07you will not hurt a single soul in my presence
01:07:15what the fuck was that i don't care what the fuck it was i'm not letting her make a fool
01:07:20of
01:07:20me at my own wedding
01:07:28damn it
01:07:32you forgot i had a gun too that'll teach you for messing with the wick hams
01:07:37take miss trixie and her family and get out of here we're cornered i'll sacrifice myself to fend
01:07:41them off devon you and your brother are both good men i will not let your injury be in vain
01:07:48they will be punished
01:07:52now hold still for me right rewrites the world
01:08:08holy fuck did she just reverse the bullet by chanting the goddess healer's chant she the goddess healer
01:08:19i'm all better now thank you miss trixie see i knew that you were no ordinary woman
01:08:25no please i am just an ordinary girl don't put me on some sort of pedestal
01:08:30sure you hear that she's just some average homeless girl in the streets she was probably holding out a
01:08:37super magnet that drew out the bullet well i do not care for glory i do believe in justice
01:08:43marissa and butch not only have you betrayed me but now you've hurt the innocent too
01:08:49i will make you both pay for your crimes and who are you to judge me for what i do
01:08:53god wrong
01:08:56but you're close oh i'm gonna show you how the elite can travel in your lives
01:09:04you want to cross the line so bad then let's see you try
01:09:07charge
01:09:17the hell is this this is the line between life and death yeah was that extra neon spray paint
01:09:26i'll admit it looks pretty good but uh i'll die before i believe that's magic
01:09:30yeah you're not the grim reaper what if it's a trap that woman has many tricks up her sleeves we
01:09:36ain't
01:09:37afraid of her she's nothing but a circus prostitute why don't you cross the line and see for yourself
01:09:43i will
01:09:47left leaves the wrong breast
01:09:56i'm fine nothing happens you'll see soon enough oh please i really want to die and you call this the
01:10:04line between life and death i knew you were just making that up whoops just frosted again whoops and
01:10:11again nothing's happy
01:10:24no no hey what did you do to my brother i didn't do anything your brother just didn't want to
01:10:32heed my
01:10:33warning i suggest you take him to the ur if you don't want your wedding to become his funeral
01:10:39come on major are you not going to help your own brother how was he able to cross the line
01:10:45see
01:10:46this must be an illusion
01:10:50only the pure of heart can cross the line will somebody take my brother to the hospital please
01:11:02you're so sore i wouldn't marry you you go and hurt my brother oh please you hurt us first
01:11:08at first i was really hurt by your betrayal but i've come to realize your true colors are
01:11:14that of a snake and a coward marissa thanks for taking this low life from me
01:11:20you blame yourself for being worthless you think anyone will want to marry you when you got nothing to
01:11:26offer when you wear odd and crazy clothes all day don't touch my way
01:11:36what's wrong with your brother and instead trixie gets a handsome and protective husband you can
01:11:43daydream all you want now trixie but when the presidential contract arrives it'll hit you like
01:11:48a fucking truck that you're nothing but an ugly phony and i'm the queen of everything oh really
01:11:54then let me show you how it is i who has everything you want you've got nothing on me
01:12:03yes tell the president to get here immediately
01:12:10goddess madam president i require your assistance yes we'll be there immediately
01:12:19get the vp we're leaving now
01:12:24did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the united states god i knew you
01:12:29were cheap but i didn't know you were crazy too i'm so glad i dumped you for marissa you're pathetic
01:12:35trixie a secretary to remind everyone how i have the presidential contract coming miss wickham is correct
01:12:41i was on the phone with the president earlier only the most important people have madam president's direct
01:12:46line you hear that everyone there is no way lowlife trixie could have called the president by herself
01:12:54she's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention so she's come here to play up her
01:12:59importance no my granddaughter would never do that reversing time just to heal someone's wound
01:13:06only the goddess healer can do that is trixie really the goddess healer
01:13:18oh first your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero general lysander armstrong and now you trixie
01:13:24are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract is this how the working
01:13:29class think all the time i never realized how delusional they were you can only dream of what you
01:13:36can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces look i don't know what circus school
01:13:42you went to but you trying to make me jealous trixie it ain't working you can't just fake the
01:13:50yeah but goddess healing power is legendary it's like real magic trixie you're an angel but the
01:13:57goddess healing is beyond your imagination and if we steal her identity just to punish her ex
01:14:03won't her followers be furious and riot against you
01:14:09no trixie look i believe you you saved me whether you're a goddess or not you did that
01:14:17no matter what happens you are a goddess to me we'll riot against you now tear her apart
01:14:24tear her apart tear her apart tear her apart tear her apart the vice president arrives
01:14:47who dare cause ruckus in here
01:14:54your general lysander armstrong wait what
01:14:59he's actually general lysander armstrong no no we've been through this already once okay
01:15:04right secretary chill this actor trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me
01:15:11but you already confirmed with madame president that i got the contract coming still right yes
01:15:16we all thought he was a fraud what i mean is
01:15:21you're the war hero general lysander armstrong and how dare you crash miss wickham's wedding
01:15:27the moment you wake up you fall under this vixen spell
01:15:30and now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president
01:15:34he is the general oh but he's in trouble now did you hear that even the vice president knows me
01:15:42as an important ally to the nation's leader so what if trixie picked up some washed up war hero
01:15:48we got the vp and the president on our side you'll always be nothing trixie i told you
01:15:56now punish them vice president langley this is treason lysander armstrong you are stripped from your
01:16:02military honors and titles
01:16:08hurry the goddess healer needs us
01:16:13you can't do that mr vice president my brother is a war hero he single-handedly saved this country
01:16:19from terrorist attack he was in a coma for two years if it wasn't for miss trixie he would
01:16:23enough you speak another word and i will bring down your entire family not just your brother
01:16:29yeah it's okay mr vice president i've already given my life once for my country
01:16:36i have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life
01:16:41and let's be honest about one other thing mr vice president i never gave a
01:16:44fuck about any damn titles i truly saved a good man
01:16:56i will not let you bring ruin to my fiance and what can you do about it oh mr vice
01:17:02president i have
01:17:03swell idea my biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military
01:17:09let's try it out on them hold on mr vice president there's no way that you're taking this seriously
01:17:15put innocent civilian lives in danger despicable what's more despicable is that you and your filthy
01:17:21companions are disrespecting power miss wickham you can use full force on them did you hear that boys
01:17:42shoot wait that's the president
01:18:05oh my gosh i'm so sorry madam president that was they were totally aiming for uh trixie the fraud in
01:18:13the middle what is this oh that's my new biomedical weapon madam for your military this is a war crime
01:18:20these are innocent civilian lives you're messing with you're the uncivilized buffoon i can shoot
01:18:26whoever i want i have the presidential contract with great power comes great responsibility and this
01:18:31is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract i gave you what are you doing reverse
01:18:36the poison and take it out of the president before it's too late that is easy there's no need i'll
01:18:43save
01:18:57it's raining gold what's happening trixie doesn't have that kind of money it's got to be cheap glitter
01:19:07she she is she is a criminal don't worry madam president we will arrest her and we'll throw her
01:19:14in prison i'd be quiet if i were you because you're the one that would be going to prison once
01:19:19everyone
01:19:19is healed up what are you talking about the president literally came here to give me my billion dollar
01:19:24contract this contract this contract yeah yes thank you first gentlemen
01:19:57my contract you bitch and that's not all
01:20:12this foul weapon will not see the light of day there is only a need for a vaccine if there
01:20:17is a
01:20:17virus don't you realize or are you too much of a goody two shoes to understand that you're the real
01:20:24virus here marissa money is worth more to you than human lives and that's something i cannot tolerate
01:20:30so prepare yourself because i'm about to smite you what are you gonna do the president is here
01:20:39and i just invented the best biomedical products in the world you'll pardon me for that little mishap right
01:20:47madam president you've recovered now so what's your final decision
01:20:54i'll she's gonna give me my billion dollar
01:21:02i'll smack her until she sees 50 stars
01:21:05uh why why are you attacking me madam president you're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar
01:21:14you wish i've never seen a woman so vile so ugly on the inside it makes me want to vomit
01:21:23i i don't
01:21:24understand i was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing
01:21:31and do you know the goddess here saved me and my son during childbirth you've really seen the goddess
01:21:38healer herself in the flesh the one and only and it's
01:21:47her
01:21:57what
01:22:02welcome goddess
01:22:09uh we uh
01:22:15you really are the goddess of healing aren't you how else did you think i saved you
01:22:21then why did you keep it a secret for so long
01:22:25i wanted to walk the earth as a normal person to help those in need and make sure the man
01:22:31i chose loved
01:22:32me for me no so that means the billion dollar contract it it was you who gave it to me
01:22:39and she took her away just like that that was her golden ticket you were once my fiance and best
01:22:46friend but after everything you've done we're officially getting ties with you both
01:22:51no please i swear i didn't know you were an actual sick
01:22:57it doesn't matter who she is trixie has a heart of gold she's an amazing person and you ruin that
01:23:03the
01:23:04moment that you betrayed her she's going to be my wife because she is the most beautiful and amazing
01:23:09woman on this planet
01:23:16i love you
01:23:30all her goals all her clothes all that could have been mine this is all your fault
01:23:36this is all you seduced me
01:23:40you were the one that came on to me you himbo please trixie give me another chance
01:23:48i want to be rich again i'll be your slave i'll kiss the ground you walk on you've had your
01:23:54chance
01:23:54to apologize but it's too late now all i see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just
01:24:00to
01:24:00benefit yourself you two should be locked up and she shall for creating illegal weapons of mass
01:24:07destruction arrest marissa and butch wickup it's all your fault marissa i never loved you it's your
01:24:15fault i was only with you for your money i don't care you were rich i'll see myself now rest
01:24:23assured
01:24:23goddess we will not be using these biomedical weapons my platform is spreading kindness
01:24:29just like you i knew you'd uphold our shared values that is why i saved you with these healing
01:24:36hands i will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time well let's not let this
01:24:44wedding go to waste let's party wait what if we just got married right now yes well
01:24:56do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner i do i do you may kiss the bride
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