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Outcome (2027) [Full Movie] [Watch Free Online]Full EP - Full
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00:00:26To be continued...
00:00:42a little treat for you tonight my first guest is a young man and when i say young man i
00:00:46mean
00:00:46a young man he's landed the lead role in an nbc pilot and he won that audition with a song
00:00:51and
00:00:51dance routine and we thought he did it so well that you might like to meet him tonight would
00:00:54you welcome reef hawk
00:00:56you might reach us to broadway remember me to hero square
00:01:13get along the gang in 42nd street then i will soon be there
00:01:21whisper a poem yearning to mingle with the old time throng
00:01:30give my regards to old broadway and tell them i'll be there alone
00:01:39so
00:01:43so
00:01:46so
00:01:53so
00:01:55so
00:01:57so
00:02:11so
00:02:36reef hawk for the last four decades america's favorite movie star
00:02:40what an unbelievable career you've had starring in three of the biggest franchises in film
00:02:46history winning two oscars in this fall you'll shoot the biggest movie you've ever made you've
00:02:52had five years off to reflect is that what you're gonna say reflect i mean how are you gonna frame
00:02:59the five years the five years thing also i should literally be a famous ass interviewer even when i'm fake
00:03:04interviewing i'm like incredible at it incredible thank you so what are you gonna
00:03:08say about the five years saying well i was thinking i was gonna say i've been working since i was
00:03:16six and needed a break and that i needed to find out who i was away from all this i
00:03:24love that that works totally i won't say that i was hiding a heroin addiction from the public and that
00:03:32my best friends from high school and my insane lawyer helped me cover it up for years
00:03:36so no one ever found out.
00:03:39That is a really smart omission.
00:03:40Strong omission.
00:03:41No ad mish.
00:03:42You're going to be amazing, babe.
00:03:44You got this.
00:03:44Yeah, I'm very lucky to have you, too.
00:03:47And thank you both for being here,
00:03:48and thank you for helping me.
00:03:51Yeah, babe.
00:03:52Now get out there and tap dance for Mommy.
00:03:55Yeah, that was jazz dance.
00:03:56That's it.
00:03:58Two minutes.
00:03:58All right, look, before we get started,
00:04:00I just got to say,
00:04:00this is a career highlight for me.
00:04:03You, Tom Cruise, Denzel,
00:04:05you're my favorite actors of all time.
00:04:08Thanks.
00:04:09So look, first we're going to start off
00:04:10with the box office records, and, uh, what?
00:04:13Do you mind?
00:04:14I don't know if anyone talked to you, but, um...
00:04:18Oh, my God.
00:04:19Oh, my God.
00:04:19Oh, no.
00:04:20He's asking about the Oscars.
00:04:21I know, I can tell.
00:04:23When you introduce me,
00:04:25would you mind not forgetting to say
00:04:27two-time Oscar winner before you say Reeve Hawk?
00:04:31Of course, I was planning on doing that anyway.
00:04:33I thought it was something serious.
00:04:34Of course, man.
00:04:34Yeah, I mean, I would never even say it.
00:04:37It's just that sometimes people forget.
00:04:41Who forgets?
00:04:42You are the most beloved movie star in the world.
00:04:47Yeah.
00:04:47I'm just honored to have you on the show.
00:04:48This is going to be a cakewalk for you.
00:04:50Oh, thanks, man.
00:04:51Hi.
00:04:52How are you?
00:04:54We're Reeve's best friends from high school,
00:04:55but, like, we have our own lives, too.
00:04:58I'm just here to support you.
00:05:00Listen, you are so fucking charming.
00:05:04Enough of that.
00:05:05I don't want to fan out too much.
00:05:06You ready?
00:05:07Yeah, let's go for it.
00:05:08All right, let's go for it.
00:05:08All right.
00:05:09Let's try one.
00:05:09We'll get one going.
00:05:10All right, here we go.
00:05:11Three, two, one.
00:05:13Tonight, I'm interviewing somebody
00:05:15I never thought I would interview.
00:05:17I'm talking about a legend, an icon.
00:05:20What is there even to say?
00:05:21Reeve Hawk is in the house.
00:05:24Welcome.
00:05:25Oh, wait.
00:05:26Sorry, I messed up.
00:05:27I left out the Oscar part.
00:05:28I'm sorry.
00:05:29Guys, you got to do it again.
00:05:30Sorry about that.
00:05:31No, no, we're leaving this in.
00:05:32No, no, no.
00:05:33No, we are not starting over.
00:05:35People at home need to see this.
00:05:37Let me tell you right now,
00:05:38if I'm ever the kind of out-of-touch jerk
00:05:41who needs to restart an intro
00:05:43because you didn't mention an award,
00:05:47brother, we got way bigger problems.
00:05:51My man, my man.
00:05:52That's why the world loves you, man.
00:05:54The real Reeve Hawk, that's amazing.
00:05:56Reeve Hawk, are you ready?
00:05:58We're already starting.
00:06:00Yes, we are.
00:06:04Babe, babe, I know you love mopping with the crew,
00:06:07but we're going to hit crazy traffic
00:06:08if we don't get out of here.
00:06:09What's mopping?
00:06:10M.O.P.
00:06:12Man of the Peopling.
00:06:14That's actually pretty fucking funny, aren't we?
00:06:16Thanks.
00:06:16Yeah, we should get going.
00:06:18Can I talk to you guys for a second?
00:06:20Hey, guys, thanks so much.
00:06:23Did anyone else see this silver fox eye-fucking me?
00:06:26I am so serious.
00:06:28It was so blatant and out in the open.
00:06:29I almost want to, like, write an op-ed,
00:06:31but I like that.
00:06:32Reeve.
00:06:32Reeve, Reeve, Reeve.
00:06:34What are you doing?
00:06:35Whoa.
00:06:36We don't know those guys.
00:06:38They could literally go online and say
00:06:40that I was like being fake or mopping
00:06:42or whatever insult you just said,
00:06:43and then people will think that I'm like that.
00:06:47Okay.
00:06:47So, so, so, that would be like a fucking disaster.
00:06:53Reeve, chill out.
00:06:54Yeah.
00:06:55Dude, dude, take a deep breath, okay?
00:06:59It's just, it's just that you're always being watched these days
00:07:09and observed everywhere.
00:07:12Yeah.
00:07:12Yeah, yeah, it's really weird.
00:07:14It's really weird.
00:07:15Okay, bup-bye.
00:07:18It's okay.
00:07:19Yeah.
00:07:20Lookit, this was, like, a really stressful situation for you.
00:07:23So, just take a deep breath.
00:07:25We're all good.
00:07:26I'm sorry, okay?
00:07:27I was just being dumb and trying to be funny.
00:07:29No, I'm sorry.
00:07:31No, please.
00:07:31A lot of anxiety today.
00:07:33Of course.
00:07:33I just, it was...
00:07:34My bad.
00:07:35You don't have to do that.
00:07:36No, come on.
00:07:37Come on.
00:07:37Oh, you love us.
00:07:39You love us.
00:07:39I love you guys.
00:07:41I love you.
00:07:41By the way, you are amazing.
00:07:44Oh, my gosh.
00:07:44You got everything in you.
00:07:45He is a fan, yeah?
00:07:47Oh.
00:07:54Shit.
00:08:00Hello?
00:08:01Bubby, it's Ira.
00:08:02We got a big fucking problem.
00:08:03It's fucked up.
00:08:04It's really fucked up.
00:08:04It's a total fucking nightmare.
00:08:06I'll be over at 10.30 a.m. tomorrow.
00:08:08I'll have my assistant text your assistant
00:08:09my breakfast order.
00:08:10Beg her not to fuck it up for me.
00:08:17Do I have shit on my face?
00:08:19Yes.
00:08:20I do?
00:08:20Yes.
00:08:21Oh, my God.
00:08:22It's fucking embarrassing.
00:08:23Ira, tell me what the fuck is going on.
00:08:26What is your video?
00:08:27Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
00:08:29What's on it?
00:08:29I have no idea.
00:08:30I thought you buried everything that needed to be buried without it getting out to the
00:08:34public.
00:08:35When I got sober five years ago, I changed my life.
00:08:38And thank God you did.
00:08:39Since you've been out of the game, everything's changed.
00:08:42For the record, you are the goat.
00:08:43The true goat, Bubby.
00:08:44You are the best to ever do it.
00:08:46I swear to God, I hate to say it, but it's nice to be back on the fucking court with
00:08:50you.
00:08:51We used to be out here in these streets, smashing fucking concrete, getting our hands
00:08:54dirty.
00:08:55Hollywood was our goddamn glory hole.
00:08:57These kids today, they don't know how we used to do it.
00:08:59You, me, Rourke, little Chucky Sheen, Stephen Hawking, you know, the original Pussy Posse.
00:09:04You boys kept me busy, didn't you?
00:09:06Can't you just make this go away like you always used to?
00:09:09I can't, Bubby.
00:09:10The internet changed everything.
00:09:11I know I'm panicked, and we used to get this shit wrapped up with a briefcase of cash
00:09:14in a day or two.
00:09:15It ain't like that anymore.
00:09:18You can text me or call me 24 hours a day, just like the old days, except for Tuesdays
00:09:24from 3 p.m. until about 10 p.m.
00:09:26What's on Tuesdays?
00:09:27Personal shit.
00:09:28Don't worry about it.
00:09:30Oh.
00:09:30What?
00:09:31Huh?
00:09:33Are you okay?
00:09:36Do I have to be in here?
00:09:37Can't I just wait till you're done?
00:09:39Bubby, I'm on a massive time crunch.
00:09:41By the way, I love this gay wallpaper.
00:09:44Thanks.
00:09:45And about all the art in the house.
00:09:46Very colorful, very gay and classy.
00:09:49Look, Bubby, there are some steps we can take in the meantime while we're waiting this
00:09:53out, but I need you to be completely honest with me.
00:09:55There are no more secrets between us.
00:09:57Look into my eyes.
00:09:58Do not break eye contact with me, Bubby.
00:10:01Have you ever killed someone?
00:10:02No, Ira.
00:10:02I never killed someone.
00:10:04I can't wipe my ass with this.
00:10:06It's just performative.
00:10:07I'm a good person, environmental toilet paper.
00:10:09What's your assistant's name?
00:10:11Sammy.
00:10:11Sammy?
00:10:12Yeah?
00:10:13Come in here.
00:10:14Can you go into the master and bring the toilet paper here?
00:10:17The good toilet paper.
00:10:18The good toilet paper.
00:10:19Yeah.
00:10:20And Bubby, just real quick, it's primary, not master.
00:10:22What thread count is it?
00:10:23Sorry.
00:10:24I don't know, Ira.
00:10:25It's Scott from the store.
00:10:27Toss it.
00:10:28Let me see.
00:10:29Jesus Christ.
00:10:30Smells like, um, like earring backs in here.
00:10:34Yes, that means you're healthy.
00:10:36Yeah.
00:10:37Yeah.
00:10:37Ugh!
00:10:39What the fuck?
00:10:40Cover your mouth.
00:10:40It's disgusting.
00:10:41You get germs.
00:10:42I'm sorry.
00:10:42Besides the health stuff, it's so rude.
00:10:45I'm sorry.
00:10:45Aside from me getting sick, it's rude.
00:10:48Because those particles fly into my nose and mouth.
00:10:51Do you can send me just...
00:10:52Actually, this is fucked up to say I kind of like this.
00:10:54Turn around, Bubby.
00:10:55Eye contact.
00:10:56Come closer.
00:10:57Have you ever killed someone?
00:10:59No, Ira.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01Bubby, I'm not a judgy person.
00:11:03I'm more of a you do you.
00:11:05I'm a go ahead and do me girl.
00:11:07Ira!
00:11:09I have never killed someone!
00:11:13For real!
00:11:17You're making me uncomfortable with your anger.
00:11:21And I think that's something we should look at.
00:11:25You can have at the scraps.
00:11:28I'm sorry, what?
00:11:29You can have at the scraps.
00:11:31That's really nice of you, Ira.
00:11:33You know, she's actually great.
00:11:35Yeah.
00:11:35I like her.
00:11:36Next.
00:11:37Have you ever watched anyone be killed?
00:11:38No, Ira.
00:11:38Have you ever paid someone to kill someone?
00:11:40No.
00:11:40Have you ever fucked a dead person?
00:11:41No.
00:11:41Has a dead person ever fucked you?
00:11:42No!
00:11:44How does that even work?
00:11:45Let's just say it starts with Mel Gibson and a whole lot of paupers and ends two decks
00:11:48over with a 10 a.m. Nate and Mel's breakfast.
00:11:50You do the math, gorgeous.
00:11:51Just to be clear, you're saying how a corpse fucks a human being is that Mel Gibson takes
00:11:58paupers.
00:11:58You're saying that.
00:11:59You're saying that.
00:12:00I would never betray a client like that, and I'm offended you would even suggest it.
00:12:03I would lose my license to practice law in the state of California if I did.
00:12:07But just between us, it's pretty fucked up, actually.
00:12:10They partied with the guy like he was alive all weekend.
00:12:12They actually made a cute little picture about it.
00:12:14Weekend at Bernie's?
00:12:15Yes, Weekend at Bernie's, Bubby.
00:12:19You're hysterical.
00:12:20You've gotten funnier.
00:12:22I need to know everyone who hates you.
00:12:25Uh, who hates me?
00:12:27Fuck.
00:12:30My first manager from when I was a kid, probably.
00:12:34Good, right.
00:12:35The guy who represents kid actors and works out of the bowling alley.
00:12:37Who else?
00:12:39My old on-and-off ex-girlfriend, Savannah.
00:12:43Okay, and?
00:12:45Who else?
00:12:47That's it.
00:12:51Who hates him?
00:12:53Uh, what?
00:12:55Who hates him?
00:12:56Well, off the top of my head,
00:12:59your old manager, your old trainer, your new trainer,
00:13:02your old pool guy, your old, old pool guys,
00:13:04your mom.
00:13:05Oh, me too.
00:13:06Uh, those three shelter dogs that you got when you were lonely
00:13:09and then returned when you realized, like,
00:13:11they don't wipe their own asses, and I sure as fuck wasn't gonna do it.
00:13:13Um, your old boxing coach, your old tennis instructor,
00:13:16your ex, and I have, like, a separate list for, like,
00:13:18directors, actors, costume designers, hair and makeup people,
00:13:20craft service, whatever, da-da-da-da-da,
00:13:21like, executives that you've worked with,
00:13:23if you want me to start on that.
00:13:24Jesus Christ.
00:13:25Sorry.
00:13:27Can I just say something?
00:13:28My old trainer doesn't hate me.
00:13:31Because he passed away.
00:13:34Okay.
00:13:35I'm just saying.
00:13:36Mm-hmm.
00:13:37Hey.
00:13:38Hey.
00:13:38I believe you, pal.
00:13:39I really do.
00:13:40That's-that's awesome.
00:13:42You need to go see these people and apologize to them.
00:13:45Make it right with them.
00:13:47And without them realizing it,
00:13:48feel that if they're the ones behind the video.
00:13:50I don't know if I can do that, Ira.
00:13:52That's way too intense.
00:13:54Bubby, you don't have to mean it.
00:13:55You just have to go through the motions of apologizing to save your ass.
00:13:59All right, Bubby, I gotta get going.
00:14:01Tom Hanks body slammed his housekeeper.
00:14:02It's not as bad as it sounds.
00:14:04They were just roughhousing.
00:14:05But she's in her 70s.
00:14:06Shouldn't be horsing around like that.
00:14:08So I should get over to Cedars and make sure shit's kosher.
00:14:10By the way, incredible crushed ice at Cedars.
00:14:12I'll let you know if I hear anything.
00:14:18I'll let you know if I hear anything.
00:14:44My assistant said all of these people don't like me.
00:14:47Was I an asshole?
00:14:54Do you want to take longer to answer that?
00:14:58Just the people you interacted with.
00:14:59Yeah.
00:14:59Not like fans and stuff.
00:15:01I think there maybe was a time where your success did go to your head.
00:15:05And maybe you weren't like super considerate about how you spoke to people.
00:15:09And now you're very aware.
00:15:11But up until like a few years ago, you could kind of get away with being a secret dick.
00:15:15We've known each other for 40 years.
00:15:17We've been there and supported one another.
00:15:19We have always known the person that was in there.
00:15:22Yeah, and go easy on yourself.
00:15:24You were literally on drugs.
00:15:26It's way easier to support you now that you're sober.
00:15:28At least we don't have to come grab you out of that creepy doll store you used to buy heroin
00:15:33at downtown.
00:15:35You know how many empty, naked baby dolls I had to explain to the housekeeper?
00:15:39I had to look up in Spanish.
00:15:40Don't worry, Maria.
00:15:41It's no for sexual.
00:15:42It's for drug.
00:15:44By the way, zero parking at the heroin doll store downtown.
00:15:50Yeah.
00:15:54It got bad.
00:15:56It got really scary.
00:15:59I don't ever want to see that look in your eye again.
00:16:04You never will.
00:16:06So let's do what Ira says.
00:16:08Make the apologies and find out who's extorting you.
00:16:11He always gets you out of this stuff.
00:16:13It's going to be so fun.
00:16:14I'm already putting together a playlist for the apology slash who's extorting Reef tour.
00:16:18Hey, Siri.
00:16:20Whip me up a playlist for a middle-aged man in extreme state of crisis.
00:16:23But keep it fun and slutty.
00:16:25Come on.
00:16:26And skinny.
00:16:27Come on.
00:16:29Yeah.
00:16:31Come on.
00:16:34Yeah.
00:16:36Come on.
00:16:39Uh-oh.
00:16:44If the party's where you're acting, shut up, don't you trip when you see us in the club.
00:16:49I will say, I kind of hate extortion.
00:16:52But the upside is that we all get to drive around together like the dumb sluts we used
00:16:55to be in high school.
00:16:56And I am obsessed with that part of extortion.
00:16:59Beyond.
00:17:00What I really enjoy about it is that we get to be here with you, Reef.
00:17:04And guess what else I brought with me?
00:17:07Oh, gee.
00:17:08Are we going to smoke?
00:17:09We're not going to smoke.
00:17:10We're 120.
00:17:12Okay?
00:17:13We're going to fake smoke.
00:17:15I cannot believe kids vape these days.
00:17:17They are so gay.
00:17:18They're so lame.
00:17:20If I saw a kid vaping, I'd literally run over to him, push him over, and be like,
00:17:24nice look, virgin.
00:17:29They're literally an oral fedora.
00:17:31Fuck.
00:17:32I haven't seen this guy in like 30 years, and now I'm going to be late to apologize,
00:17:35and I'm going to look like even more of an asshole.
00:17:38I've always said it's not an amends unless you power top it.
00:17:42Just get in there and just dumb it out, babe.
00:17:45I love outlandish humor with my friends.
00:17:50You know, kid, I found this guy Reef over at Oakwood's, same as you, and I signed him at this
00:17:57booth, same as you.
00:17:59Right here at this booth.
00:18:02Reef, can't wait to work with you.
00:18:04I know our schedules will wind up one of these days.
00:18:06Can you imagine them letting us two silverbacks pound our chest in the same cage?
00:18:11I'd sit down and order a salad.
00:18:13I've got a 430 callback for that Valtrex commercial.
00:18:15Valtrex?
00:18:16Yeah, I'm reading for the grandson of the woman who has gentle to herpes.
00:18:18It's actually quite a complex character.
00:18:20I love that.
00:18:21Is Ellen casting it?
00:18:22Yep.
00:18:22Ellen's such a sweet girl.
00:18:23I know she is.
00:18:25And we love her.
00:18:26Aw, fuck me, I'm late.
00:18:28Beautiful day, guys.
00:18:29Okay, hey, knock them dead, will you?
00:18:31Always will and will do.
00:18:34Wow.
00:18:40Quit cigs.
00:18:4116 days now.
00:18:43Sorry.
00:18:44That's awesome, Red.
00:18:45Yes.
00:18:46Red Rodriguez.
00:18:49Manager to the stars.
00:18:50Always bet on Red, baby.
00:18:52Yeah.
00:18:54Still out here hustling?
00:19:01Red.
00:19:04I came here to apologize to you.
00:19:09Can I ask you something, Reef?
00:19:12Of course.
00:19:14What are you sorry for?
00:19:17I'm really sorry I fired you.
00:19:27You know, I remember when I met you by the pool, and you had no front teeth, you know?
00:19:34It was so fucking adorable.
00:19:37You were really there for me at that time.
00:19:40I was, I was, but you had this fucking light in you.
00:19:46You'd light up my days.
00:19:48And I'm just talking about the work.
00:19:49The work was always bringing.
00:19:57And I was fucking proud, I gotta tell you, not just because I'm a manager, but, you know, it was
00:20:08almost as if it was me, in a way.
00:20:11I was so proud.
00:20:13Then you start running around Hollywood, and you're getting some big parts of movies, you're hitting the clubs, you're getting
00:20:18some pussy.
00:20:19I'm getting nervous.
00:20:21Not just because I don't want you to get in trouble for your career, but I'm worried about you getting
00:20:26in trouble for you.
00:20:29And I hear things.
00:20:31I mean, weed and all that, I know, okay, but I hear the hardest stuff.
00:20:36The hardest stuff.
00:20:37And, um, I didn't know how to handle it, you know?
00:20:41I did the best I could at that time.
00:20:45I wanted to smack the shit out of you.
00:20:48But I still worked, Gene.
00:20:49Really, honestly, I didn't know what my role was.
00:20:53You know, in that whole thing.
00:20:55I just didn't know.
00:20:58Maybe I handled it right.
00:21:00Maybe I did the right thing.
00:21:04Maybe I didn't.
00:21:07I really don't know.
00:21:08I don't know what's right or wrong in this situation.
00:21:12Anyway.
00:21:13Look, I didn't expect you to stay.
00:21:14I didn't expect that, I know.
00:21:16I know I'm a joke to you guys now.
00:21:18The bowling alley, the roulette wheel.
00:21:21I know who the fuck I am.
00:21:23I know what the fuck I am.
00:21:25Which is...
00:21:26I'm the guy you leave if I do my job right.
00:21:30Okay?
00:21:31I know that.
00:21:32It's all right.
00:21:37I loved all you crazy little cocksuckers.
00:21:39I really did.
00:21:40But you were different.
00:21:41You see, you were different.
00:21:42You were like...
00:21:44You were like family to me.
00:21:47Yeah.
00:21:52Yeah.
00:21:55And you know, what gets me is that not one of you guys ever picked up the phone.
00:22:01Not one.
00:22:03Every time with you guys, the last time we spoke was the last time we spoke.
00:22:09I mean, all I ever wanted was to pick up the phone and hear...
00:22:20You could have called me.
00:22:27I don't have your number.
00:22:50I just want to see...
00:22:52I'm a big fan.
00:22:54I appreciate that.
00:22:55Yeah.
00:22:56Mate, you're a fucking hawk.
00:22:58Fuck!
00:22:58Are you fucking serious?
00:22:59There was a period where I did not speak to myself for three years.
00:23:03Eleven years ago, in Sydney.
00:23:04You and Sean Penn.
00:23:06I chucked it in the dumper because she was on the block.
00:23:08Aside from my feelings on the film, technically, it's astonishing.
00:23:12Honestly, mate.
00:23:12I feel like you chucked it in my dumper.
00:23:14Oh, actually, you should find that.
00:23:22Hey, pal.
00:23:23Excuse me.
00:23:24Yo.
00:23:25Hey.
00:23:25I don't want to interrupt you.
00:23:26I never do this.
00:23:27I'm a big fan.
00:23:28I'm not here to blow you up or bug you.
00:23:30I just want to tell you, I'm running this for a while.
00:23:32I wanted to introduce myself.
00:23:36Brief.
00:23:36Yeah, I know, I know.
00:23:38I'm Buddy.
00:23:40I'm everybody's Buddy.
00:23:41Buddy, we're having some people over today.
00:23:44If we make noise, some rap music or something, just tell me.
00:23:46We've got tons of food.
00:23:47We're going to have some celebs.
00:23:49Cool.
00:23:49Awesome.
00:23:50Hi.
00:23:51The McLaren's taking up both spots and UD's pulling up from Nobu.
00:23:54I'll take care of it.
00:23:55Honey, get off your feet.
00:23:56You've got to lay down.
00:23:57How many cigarettes did Dr. Crane say I could smoke while pregnant again?
00:24:00Oh, he said zero.
00:24:02Oh, hey, I know you.
00:24:03You dated my grandma.
00:24:06That's Reef.
00:24:07Nice to meet you, Queef.
00:24:12Fucking shit, dude.
00:24:14Having my first kid.
00:24:15Well, congrats.
00:24:17I'm like a kid having a kid.
00:24:19But I'm under 60.
00:24:21That's what they call a Malibu teen dad.
00:24:24Huh.
00:24:25You got kids?
00:24:26Uh, no.
00:24:28Oh, yeah, I read that.
00:24:30Fuck, you're lucky, dude.
00:24:32Just get to party 24-7.
00:24:34I've got to deal with this shit.
00:24:37Anyway, all love, homie.
00:24:39Have a good one.
00:24:40And I always do.
00:24:42And I will do.
00:24:46Man's search for meaning.
00:24:48It's like the most lit Holocaust book.
00:24:50My therapist gave me this one after my parents' divorce.
00:24:53And, like, in a way, the divorce was my family's personal Holocaust.
00:24:57You know?
00:24:58Like, the mistress was Hitler.
00:25:01My mom was, like, Jesse Jackson, that black guy that won that medal because he ran really fast.
00:25:06Jesse Owens.
00:25:07Jesse Owens.
00:25:08And I was, like, Anne Frank.
00:25:10You know, because I was, like, hiding from my shame.
00:25:13This book taught me, like, not to hide anymore.
00:25:15And I don't think you should either.
00:25:16So, I'm giving this to you.
00:25:18It would be good for you.
00:25:20Excuse me.
00:25:21Oh, yeah.
00:25:22I'm going to give you some privacy.
00:25:24Ira, what's happening?
00:25:25Fuck, Bubby.
00:25:26I'm so glad I caught you.
00:25:27Holy shit.
00:25:27What is it?
00:25:28Did you see a pair of sunglasses after I left your house?
00:25:29I'm, like, fucked up looking for them.
00:25:31They're Chanel.
00:25:32Ira, are you fucking kidding me?
00:25:33No, no, I know.
00:25:34I never splurge like that.
00:25:35Ira, you scared the shit out of me.
00:25:37I thought something had leaked or something fucked had happened with the video.
00:25:40Oh, shit.
00:25:40Did something happen?
00:25:41I'm asking you.
00:25:42Are you fucking serious?
00:25:44Bubby, I'm fucking with you.
00:25:45But for real, though, shit is not going well.
00:25:47I got nothing on my side.
00:25:49You got to keep apologizing to people.
00:25:50All right?
00:25:51Oh, hey, Bubby.
00:25:52Sorry if I sound distracted.
00:25:53I'm getting an IV trip right now.
00:25:55I'm also doing couples therapy and playing chess.
00:25:57I'll call you back when I hear something.
00:26:02So, do you, like, want me to pretend that I don't know what's going on to, like, make
00:26:07things easier for you or what?
00:26:11Let me think on it.
00:26:12I may just want to pretend things are not insane with one person in my life.
00:26:17Sure.
00:26:18Hey, what extortion?
00:26:23Thanks, Sammy.
00:26:25It's been so long, Mom.
00:26:29It has.
00:26:32I have a lot to, uh, apologize to you for.
00:26:40For starters, I was often very rude about you participating in this kind of entertainment.
00:26:50I'm sorry for that.
00:26:56Fuck.
00:26:57Sorry.
00:26:58Can we try that one more time, hon?
00:27:00The label wasn't cheated towards camera.
00:27:02And that was such a great fucking emotional moment.
00:27:04I'm so fucking touched genuinely.
00:27:06I just have to be sure it's usable because my content partners need it.
00:27:10Sometimes you've got to tickle their balls so Mommy can get her beak wet.
00:27:13My son may be a star, but I'm a whole damn planet.
00:27:21This is so triggering and fucked up for so many reasons I can't even begin to tell you.
00:27:27Didn't you come here to apologize to me?
00:27:29Yeah.
00:27:30And you'd only receive the apology if we did it on the show, which makes my skin crawl that you're
00:27:35even on in the first place.
00:27:37Okay, we'll get to that in one second, you pretentious little fuck.
00:27:40But for starters, you showed up, didn't you?
00:27:44You're a little truffle-sipping fame piggy, just like Mommy.
00:27:47I wanted to please you.
00:27:49I became famous to please you.
00:27:52I supported your career, day in and day out, for nine years of my life.
00:27:57I wanted a parent, not a business collaborator.
00:28:00When you were a little kid, you begged me every day to be on TV.
00:28:04Begged me.
00:28:05I'm talking tantrums.
00:28:07Days-long tantrums.
00:28:09Fits.
00:28:09Making scenes.
00:28:10Screaming.
00:28:11Carrying on.
00:28:12I didn't know what to do.
00:28:14I was 25 and you were 6.
00:28:17So I moved us across the country.
00:28:19Away from your father, my husband.
00:28:23Away from my parents, my support system.
00:28:26Into a shitty little month-to-month in the valley so I could take you to auditions every day.
00:28:33You were my focus.
00:28:35Your father left us.
00:28:37Not just you.
00:28:38He left me, too.
00:28:39I sacrificed my marriage.
00:28:43Who were you sacrificing anything for when you were 25, Reef?
00:28:48But then something amazing happened.
00:28:51Your fucking dreams came true.
00:28:54And I went from being a little nobody in the middle of nowhere to suddenly my son singing and dancing
00:29:01on The Tonight Show.
00:29:03You became a big famous actor.
00:29:06You got everything you ever wanted.
00:29:10Mom.
00:29:13I was a kid.
00:29:16Kids don't know what they want.
00:29:20Kids want to be astronauts.
00:29:22Yeah, and some of them actually do become astronauts.
00:29:26The ones whose dreams are supported by their mothers.
00:29:29Mom, I felt used and exploited.
00:29:31You stopped seeing me when I got on this show.
00:29:37You stopped talking to me.
00:29:40Your fucking mother.
00:29:51You're right.
00:29:57I'm sorry.
00:30:01That's not okay.
00:30:08Can we take that from after you're right?
00:30:10But before, sorry, that's not okay.
00:30:12I want to get a different reaction on my side.
00:30:15Jesus fucking Christ.
00:30:18You see?
00:30:19What?
00:30:20You even take a moment like that and make it for the show.
00:30:24You make it for show.
00:30:26I was actually feeling in that moment.
00:30:29I didn't say anything about your take.
00:30:31I bought it.
00:30:33Your delivery was very strong.
00:30:35I just wanted one where I cry and one where I don't on my side.
00:30:39So the editor will have options.
00:30:42What even is an apology, Reef?
00:30:44Is it for you?
00:30:45Is it for me?
00:30:48Isn't an apology just a show also?
00:30:51This was such a fucked idea.
00:30:54You are such a scorched unit.
00:30:56Not everything is one thing, Reef.
00:31:00Yes, I want to be great on this show,
00:31:02but I mean everything that was in this conversation.
00:31:04Just because the cameras are rolling doesn't mean it's not real.
00:31:08Just because it's performative doesn't mean that it's not the truth.
00:31:12Why can't it be both?
00:31:14You and I see things so fucking differently, Reef.
00:31:19I've accepted that.
00:31:21I hope you can too one day.
00:31:24I'm not trying to change you.
00:31:27So don't try and change me.
00:31:36Kyle, your abstinence dog is out here.
00:31:40Do you want me to let him in or do you a favor and put it down so someone will
00:31:43date you?
00:31:44Just put it under the window over there, guys.
00:31:46Thanks.
00:31:48I should not be lifting this couch right now.
00:31:50I have been so nauseous today.
00:31:52Babe, maybe you're pregnant.
00:31:55Is that unhoused gentleman outside of general nutrition that you've been romantically intertwined with not been using contraception?
00:32:03Babe?
00:32:04Yeah?
00:32:05I'm as at risk of getting pregnant as you are.
00:32:07Mm.
00:32:08Because you're old.
00:32:09Yeah.
00:32:09That's the meaning of that bit.
00:32:10Mm-hmm.
00:32:11Okay, just making sure you understood the math of it.
00:32:13Oh, you know, I got it.
00:32:14Thanks.
00:32:14And, Reef, I know you can't handle any of the housewife stuff, but, like, your mom is so fucking major
00:32:20and iconic.
00:32:21Like, what was she wearing?
00:32:23I need details.
00:32:24Babe, lay off the mom stuff, okay?
00:32:26Even though we're all dying to know what she was wearing.
00:32:28No, it's okay.
00:32:29But it's not her.
00:32:32It's not her.
00:32:37Okay.
00:32:41Freak!
00:32:42Freak!
00:32:43Freak!
00:32:44Freak!
00:32:45Freak!
00:32:45Freak!
00:32:45Freak!
00:32:46Freak!
00:32:46Freak!
00:32:47Freak!
00:32:55Freak!
00:32:55Hello?
00:32:56Be in my office.
00:32:57One hour.
00:32:58I got the fucking dream team assembled for you, buddy.
00:33:00One hour.
00:33:00Be here.
00:33:06Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today because I have assembled the greatest group ever to protect our boy, Reef
00:33:11Hawk, and bathe him in the waters of our combined genius.
00:33:16Nothing?
00:33:18Prince?
00:33:20Whatever.
00:33:21Reef, I would now like to introduce you to your new crisis team, or as I call them, the Reef
00:33:27Unit.
00:33:30Didn't land.
00:33:31Didn't land.
00:33:31Okay.
00:33:32Tough room.
00:33:33I will start with one of the greatest to ever do it.
00:33:35One of the world's best renowned lawyers, the most legendary advocate for women whose rights have been violated.
00:33:44Her legal reach is wide and long, and my man, you know, she doesn't mind not.
00:33:50I run.
00:33:51Ladies and gentlemen, Virginia Allen, I've been green.
00:33:58Reef, it's nice to meet you.
00:33:59Don't you represent women who are victims of terrible men?
00:34:04Not if I hire her first.
00:34:05I'm not.
00:34:06I didn't like...
00:34:07Oh, I know.
00:34:08Oh, we know.
00:34:09Bobby, we know.
00:34:10I wouldn't have accepted this if I thought this was a me too type of thing.
00:34:15What if it is?
00:34:17It's not.
00:34:17We know.
00:34:18I know.
00:34:19I know.
00:34:19She knows.
00:34:20I know.
00:34:20We know.
00:34:21We know.
00:34:22We know.
00:34:22We know.
00:34:23I, of course, know.
00:34:24What if it is?
00:34:25You're going to want Virginia here, Bobby.
00:34:27Speaking of, I would now like to introduce you to the third in our three tenors of naughtiness.
00:34:34Ladies and gentlemen, the sultan of social justice, the rabbi of race relations.
00:34:44He's bringing sexy back to the civil rights movement.
00:34:49I don't know.
00:34:49He's been preaching since the same street and, boys, is so tired.
00:34:54The reverend Leandrus Carter.
00:34:59Shut the fuck up, Ira.
00:35:00Oh, you're still sore about last time we worked together.
00:35:02Yeah, because you completely ruined the entire thing and embarrassed the shit out of me and my client.
00:35:06Here we go again.
00:35:07Did you follow the Jesse Smollett thing?
00:35:08Uh, the two racist guys beat up the black actor and it ended up being set up by him.
00:35:14Leon and I came up with that at lunch one day.
00:35:15It was a killer idea.
00:35:17We pitched it around town and Jesse was the most passionate about the project.
00:35:20Sometimes these things are reverse engineered where the idea comes before the talent.
00:35:23You know, like when a movie studio has a franchise but they don't have a star attached.
00:35:26Then tell them what happened to Ira.
00:35:27You're such a fucking hypocrite, Leon.
00:35:29You're one of my best friends.
00:35:30I love you more than life itself.
00:35:31But you're a hypocrite.
00:35:32You're always on me about hiring more black people.
00:35:34So, I hired two black guys to beat up Jesse.
00:35:37Hey, this is me growing with elegance.
00:35:39And all of a sudden, I'm the asshole.
00:35:41You hired two black guys to play white supremacists to commit a hate crime against a black guy.
00:35:45You stupid motherfucker.
00:35:46It's impossible to keep up.
00:35:47Hire black guys.
00:35:48Don't hire black guys.
00:35:49Make up your mind.
00:35:50I shouldn't have to explain this one.
00:35:52You're acting like I didn't even post a black square a couple years ago.
00:35:55You saw that.
00:35:56I storied it.
00:35:57It wasn't on my permanent grid, but I storied the black square.
00:36:01I obviously know who you are.
00:36:03And I'm a fan, Reverend.
00:36:04But why is he on our team?
00:36:08Oh, I pray to God you didn't say the word on that video.
00:36:12What?
00:36:13No.
00:36:14I would never.
00:36:14Oh, I know.
00:36:15We know.
00:36:16We know.
00:36:16We know.
00:36:17I know.
00:36:18He knows.
00:36:18We know.
00:36:19Of course, we know.
00:36:20We know, brother.
00:36:21But if you did, I will smack the livid shit out of you.
00:36:26And then, we're going to hold hands and walk through the fire together.
00:36:31My brother.
00:36:32I'm not a racist.
00:36:34Reef, while we totally believe you aren't racist, we do know for a fact you have done
00:36:40racist things, which is very common, except in your position is incredibly dangerous.
00:36:47I'm Eunice Kim.
00:36:48I'm a lawyer and activist.
00:36:49I'm here because I famously started the hashtag, Stop Imitating Asian People.
00:36:53I did, by the way.
00:36:55We noticed.
00:36:55Thank you for doing that.
00:36:56No, thank you.
00:36:57Reef, do you recall a scene from a, Jesus, I hate to call it a film, a thing you were
00:37:03in
00:37:04called Titty School Six.
00:37:06Let's get tit-tarted in here.
00:37:08An 80s low-budget teen comedy, Ira Buried When You Got Famous.
00:37:12We think someone may have found it.
00:37:14Do you recall a scene from this film in which your character, Israel Boner Sharkstein, is
00:37:19tasked with breaking into the girls' sorority to steal their bras and panties?
00:37:23And in order to pull off this caper, you, as your character, dress up as a geisha to sneak
00:37:28into the sorority?
00:37:29We think someone may be framing this scene in a modern context to use it to cancel you
00:37:34for being racist against Asian people.
00:37:37It was a scene in a stupid movie.
00:37:39It wasn't me.
00:37:39It was a character in a movie.
00:37:41Doesn't matter.
00:37:42Hey, wait.
00:37:43Where's Moshe from the anti-Semitism committee?
00:37:44We ran the numbers.
00:37:45It turns out that hating Jews doesn't negatively affect a person's career.
00:37:49In fact, it could even help.
00:37:53That sounds like a freak-o-acid trick.
00:37:55That's where you go through every hypothetical, fucked-up thing you may have ever done in
00:37:58your entire life?
00:38:00Yeah.
00:38:00If we broke down my text in my dry cleaner on Tuesday, I'd never work again.
00:38:03I mean, it felt like fire against my skin the whole entire time.
00:38:07I hate that you're being put through this.
00:38:10I just hate it when you're sad.
00:38:12You know, I was thinking about when you got clean, how you never did AA or any other program
00:38:17like that, because you were just, like, so worried that people were going to recognize
00:38:21you and out that you had a problem and how that would, you know, affect your image, of
00:38:26course.
00:38:27But a big part of all of that is doing the steps, right?
00:38:30Apologizing to the people you hurt.
00:38:32Maybe this whole thing is, like, the universe's way of making sure that you apologize to the
00:38:38people that were hurt by your addiction, you know?
00:38:43I'm sure there's a lot of people that would appreciate an apology from you.
00:38:49Right, Sander?
00:38:52Yeah.
00:38:55Sure.
00:39:02You all right?
00:39:07Fuck, this is hard.
00:39:13I need to apologize.
00:39:20To Savannah.
00:39:27Yeah.
00:39:29I'm going to try and get back before dinner, but thank you.
00:39:33Yeah.
00:39:33Thanks.
00:39:38What the actual fuck?
00:39:40Dude, I don't even know what I said.
00:39:41It was like...
00:39:44Why did I even...
00:39:46You're going to stay in the middle?
00:39:47Are you all right?
00:39:48No, it's stupid.
00:39:53Good luck.
00:39:53No.
00:40:39Oh, my God.
00:40:57Rave.
00:41:00Savannah.
00:41:03Here we are.
00:41:04Dude, you are so annoying.
00:41:07I can hate you or want to kill you or even forget about you,
00:41:11but then you sit here in front of me and you are still the goofy kid
00:41:15lighting fireworks off at the vents behind the mall,
00:41:19almost going deaf.
00:41:20Jesus, I haven't thought about that in so long.
00:41:24Such a little twerp.
00:41:26Always showing off for everybody, center of attention.
00:41:30But I always liked you in moments like this
00:41:35when it was just us talking.
00:41:38Nobody to show off for.
00:41:47I pulled it off.
00:41:48Photo finish.
00:41:50Don't worry, they're not yours.
00:41:52That's not funny.
00:41:54Oh, Gary.
00:41:56Do they have your sense of humor?
00:41:59They're smarter than me.
00:42:01Let's hope they make better choices.
00:42:12I'm really sorry I let you down.
00:42:24How do I put this the right way?
00:42:27I want to use the correct verbiage here
00:42:30and not mince words.
00:42:36You're not a good person.
00:42:45I've wasted years of my life on you.
00:42:48With you.
00:42:50And about you.
00:42:52Because it's always about you, Reef.
00:42:57Let me guess.
00:42:58Xander and Kyle haven't been this
00:43:01honest with you
00:43:03about your behavior
00:43:04in these conversations.
00:43:06They never had a problem
00:43:07lying to you.
00:43:08Or for you.
00:43:11Yeah, you don't stick around
00:43:12long with this kind of realness,
00:43:14do you, Reef?
00:43:20But I'm not around anymore.
00:43:24Thank God.
00:43:28Because after the last thing.
00:43:34The last thing that happened.
00:43:40It took finally allowing
00:43:42a good and devoted man
00:43:44to love me
00:43:44to realize that
00:43:47I'm not just a distraction
00:43:49to run to
00:43:49and
00:43:50toy with
00:43:51when you're
00:43:56when you're depressed
00:43:57or
00:43:59lonely
00:44:00or
00:44:00between movies
00:44:01or
00:44:04literally bored
00:44:06only to discard
00:44:07when something
00:44:08amazing would happen.
00:44:11No, you're not.
00:44:13Correct.
00:44:25I used to think
00:44:26that telling you
00:44:27all this would make me happy.
00:44:33It doesn't...
00:44:37My family makes me happy.
00:44:40My...
00:44:41My children make me happy.
00:45:03Ira?
00:45:04Buffy, I need you to come
00:45:05straight back to my office.
00:45:06I got us a call
00:45:06with the guy.
00:45:07He's ready to
00:45:08negotiate.
00:45:08Same seats.
00:45:09Shit, I gotta run. Adam Driver bought a pet champ and it ripped some lady's face off at the mall.
00:45:13They're cute when you buy them, but then it's like...
00:45:15Wait, Ira.
00:45:30Ira, we have him on the line.
00:45:32All right, this is it. At your stations, okay?
00:45:34Put him through.
00:45:36Hey, Ira. Yo, how's things?
00:45:37All good over here. Just in the office solo, doing a million things.
00:45:41Oh, yeah. By the sound of that speakerphone and the cavernous echo in the conference room, I can tell it's
00:45:45just you in there.
00:45:47Fuck you. What do you got?
00:45:48I'm assuming Virginia and Leandres and the crew are all in there with you. Hello, all.
00:45:53Nope. Wrong again.
00:45:54Okay, Ira. Hey, by the way, I want to say, Reef, if you're there too, which...
00:45:59Pretty positive that you are.
00:46:02I should legally disclose that I'm your neighbor who's been renting a house next to you for the past few
00:46:06months.
00:46:07What the fuck?
00:46:11Legally disclose. Since when you were sickler for the law?
00:46:14All right, well, you know, not legally, but like homie to homie.
00:46:17I thought I should tell you that. It felt fucked up not to.
00:46:20All right, so what do we got here?
00:46:22Okay, as you know, I can't reveal much, but I have procured a video from a person who wishes to
00:46:27sell it to the highest bidding media outlet.
00:46:30I would like to offer Reef the opportunity to buy it first.
00:46:33How fucking generous of you.
00:46:36All I can tell you about the video is this.
00:46:47He comes.
00:46:54The price is 15 million. The deadline is Tuesday at 10 a.m.
00:46:59Peace.
00:47:03He comes.
00:47:07He comes.
00:47:13He comes.
00:47:16He comes.
00:47:21Oh, God.
00:47:22He comes.
00:47:23He comes.
00:47:24This is the actual worst moment of my life.
00:47:27He comes.
00:47:28He comes.
00:47:31I accept that.
00:47:33I do. I accept it.
00:47:39But who says cumming is bad, right?
00:47:42I'm in sex positive.
00:47:44Cum makes babies.
00:47:46Babies grow up to be doctors.
00:47:48Doctors heal us when we're ailing.
00:47:49Technically he's right.
00:47:50You know who's made out of cum?
00:47:52She is.
00:47:53I'm not made out of cum.
00:47:55Absolutely are.
00:47:56Even Reef Hawk.
00:47:57Dramatic pause.
00:47:58Madden-A idol.
00:48:00Handprints in the Grauman Chinese sidewalk.
00:48:04100% completely cum-based.
00:48:06I believe in the profundity of this argument.
00:48:12This young lady here, cum.
00:48:15That felt wrong even as I was saying it.
00:48:17But I urge you to hear me when I say this.
00:48:21None of us in this room would be here without cum.
00:48:26Am I wrong?
00:48:27Come on.
00:48:29Applause.
00:48:31If you want.
00:48:33If you want.
00:48:34If you want.
00:48:39No!
00:48:40Whoa, whoa, Bubby.
00:48:40You don't understand, Ira.
00:48:42You don't understand.
00:48:43I've been so fucking careful!
00:48:45Hey, you're okay.
00:48:46I've never filmed myself.
00:48:48I've never been filmed with anyone.
00:48:49I've been so fucking careful!
00:48:52Why is this happening to me?
00:49:02What did you just say?
00:49:06Why is this happening to me?
00:49:08No, before that.
00:49:13I've been so fucking careful.
00:49:15Before that.
00:49:17I've never filmed myself.
00:49:19And I've never been filmed with anyone.
00:49:28What?
00:49:32What is it?
00:49:34You were filmed without your consent.
00:49:40It was non-consensual.
00:49:43Virginia, do you want to explain this?
00:49:45I'd love to.
00:49:46Reef, have you ever heard of victim capitalism?
00:49:51No.
00:49:52When you were growing up, you wanted to be an actor.
00:49:54You wanted to be a gifted artist.
00:49:56And that, in turn, would bring you riches and fame.
00:49:59You were part of the recognition for talent generation.
00:50:02But people got tired of having to work hard and actually be good at something.
00:50:05I do all that work.
00:50:06It's exhausting.
00:50:07And the odds are so terribly low of succeeding.
00:50:10So, here come the Kardashians.
00:50:13The Big Bang happened.
00:50:15The tension culture.
00:50:17And it is huge.
00:50:20Now you don't have to do anything special to be famous.
00:50:22You just have to be.
00:50:23You just have to make enough noise to garner the attention.
00:50:27Any kind of noise.
00:50:28Any kind of attention.
00:50:59And this brings us to the birth of social media.
00:50:59White, middle-aged, rich, famous, straight movie star who is, indeed, a victim.
00:51:07You're a fucking unicorn.
00:51:09This will be the biggest year of your whole career.
00:51:11I mean, you're going to be a bigger star than ever.
00:51:13You know what we have to do, right?
00:51:14We got one move.
00:51:16Live interview.
00:51:18That's right.
00:51:18Live interview cuts him off at the knees.
00:51:21Talking about the video before they have a chance to leak it makes you the victim and gives us all
00:51:25the leverage.
00:51:28God, where are they?
00:51:31We're going to be fucking late.
00:51:34Everything okay?
00:51:35Yeah, yeah.
00:51:37I'm just running a little late.
00:51:38It's one day a week I've got to be out by a certain time.
00:51:48Hey, I know that was a lot.
00:51:51Stay with it tonight.
00:51:53Digest it.
00:52:02Ira, you have a really weird job.
00:52:08It's like you just wait for a call that I got in trouble.
00:52:23Bubby, you ever think about why you thought it was okay to get in the kind of trouble you got
00:52:31in for as long as you did?
00:52:35Everybody's a psycho when they're young.
00:52:37I hit myself at number one.
00:52:42But for everybody else in the world, all these people, they can't act like that forever.
00:52:51I had real life hit me like a fucking train.
00:52:57But when my phone rings and it's you, I pick up.
00:53:01I always pick up.
00:53:07There he is.
00:53:09Hey, hey.
00:53:10Sorry, Ira.
00:53:12We hit crazy traffic.
00:53:14No worries.
00:53:15I like babies.
00:53:15So bad.
00:53:16Traffic.
00:53:16Come on.
00:53:16Crazy?
00:53:17Buddy.
00:53:18There he is, my boy.
00:53:20Oh, my God.
00:53:20What, are you too old to kiss your dad?
00:53:22Oh, come on.
00:53:23When you were a baby, I used to kiss your face.
00:53:25I still see you as this little, fat little, chunky little guy.
00:53:30Dad, I hate being late for the Dodgers.
00:53:32Yeah, no, I hate being late.
00:53:33I'm sorry, buddy.
00:53:34But we got to listen to Britney Spears' audio book.
00:53:36And let me just say, she lived a very wild life.
00:53:42She's the best.
00:53:42She sang at your mom and I's wedding.
00:53:44Mm-hmm.
00:53:44Hey, you know who this guy is?
00:53:46Reef Hawk.
00:53:47That's right.
00:53:49OG client of your dads.
00:53:51I always wanted you guys to meet each other, but, uh, Reef is always very busy.
00:53:55So, Reef, do you have a girlfriend?
00:53:58This guy with the girlfriend.
00:53:59Always with the fucking girlfriend.
00:54:01Not right now.
00:54:02Well, same here.
00:54:03We're on the same boat.
00:54:04That's what I tell him.
00:54:05He's got to keep his options open.
00:54:06Yeah, Dad said, got to keep my options open because I'm a handsome guy.
00:54:10Cool and handsome guy.
00:54:11Mm-hmm.
00:54:12Just like Reef.
00:54:14Hey, you guys should be wingmen for each other.
00:54:16Just try and leave some pussy for the rest of us.
00:54:17Shut up, Dad.
00:54:19Dad, what do I always say?
00:54:20Keep your options open.
00:54:22Yes.
00:54:22Never sign anything.
00:54:24Check the Saudi money.
00:54:25Check the Saudi money.
00:54:27Right.
00:54:27Okay.
00:54:28Hey, I'll check in tomorrow.
00:54:32Enjoy the game.
00:54:34See you later, Reef.
00:54:35Nice to meet you.
00:54:36Don't do alcohol.
00:54:37And say not a crack, Reef.
00:54:39Hey, I told you not to tell anybody about that.
00:54:42You're not supposed to repeat that shit.
00:54:43Get in the car, guys.
00:54:44Let's go.
00:54:45Let's go.
00:54:49Let's go.
00:55:15Reese Hawke.
00:55:19Hey.
00:55:20I think I read a couple years ago your dad hung himself, right?
00:55:25It's so funny.
00:55:25I'm reading the new Jennifer Egan.
00:55:27And the main character is a rock star whose mom is on a reality show.
00:55:30And the dad hangs himself.
00:55:33I mean, it's a rock star.
00:55:34It's not a movie star.
00:55:35But it's crazy close, right?
00:55:43Anyway, check it out if you have a flight or something.
00:55:45You can breeze right through it.
00:55:56Can I just say what we're all thinking?
00:55:59A live tell-all interview while pretending to be a victim seems like the actual complete opposite of what you
00:56:08should do.
00:56:08What's the alternative?
00:56:10Give everything up I've worked for my entire life?
00:56:13I have what everyone dreams of.
00:56:15I can't just throw it away.
00:56:23Let's just, like, sell everything and move to Hawaii.
00:56:26Open the smoothie stand or something.
00:56:29Yeah.
00:56:31There we go.
00:56:32I'll open a smoothie stand.
00:56:35What a brilliant idea.
00:56:36You just seem a little off lately.
00:56:39So, look, I just want to make sure that you're...
00:56:42Make sure I'm what?
00:56:45Are you implying that there's something important I'm hiding from you?
00:56:49Reeve, dude, she's just asking you...
00:56:51I know what she's asking.
00:56:53I don't know why it's such a big deal.
00:56:55It's a big fucking deal.
00:56:57Because questioning that is questioning the very core of everything I am the last five years.
00:57:02Everything I've fought and clawed and promised to not be.
00:57:08So, you questioning that isn't just a chill little question.
00:57:13It's calling me a fraud.
00:57:15So, what the fuck are you asking?
00:57:22Don't fucking curse at me, ever.
00:57:26Don't ever talk to me like that, ever.
00:57:31You are under immense pressure and anxiety.
00:57:35So, I am asking you, as somebody who loves you,
00:57:39are you strong in your sobriety?
00:57:41Because you have that look in your eyes you promised I wasn't going to see again.
00:57:47How fucking dare you?
00:57:49How dare I?
00:57:50How dare I?
00:57:52I ask you because I am someone who loves you at times more than you are capable of loving yourself.
00:57:59I ask because I would rather you throw some little bitchy diva movie star tantrum
00:58:04and not be my friend for a month than to walk in on you overdosed again thinking that you were
00:58:11fucking dead.
00:58:13Which you don't even remember but was like the worst moment of my life.
00:58:22Dude, you're a 56-year-old man who might be back on hard drugs.
00:58:27So, what I ask you, it's not because it's fun for me.
00:58:34My sobriety is stronger than fucking steel.
00:58:43And as far as moving to Hawaii and opening a smoothie stand,
00:58:50that might be in the realm of possibility for you.
00:58:53But honestly, Kyle...
00:58:56Yeah?
00:58:57I don't have the patience or the fucking energy
00:58:59to fake being able to relate to your shitty little life today.
00:59:04I live in an existence you literally have no way of understanding.
00:59:12Oh, fuck.
00:59:12You're right.
00:59:15I have no idea.
00:59:17I hope that you do that giant interview
00:59:20and I hope you get more famous and more rich and more attention
00:59:27as it seems to historically serve you super well.
00:59:31And you know what?
00:59:32I love my life, my shitty little life.
00:59:35You know why?
00:59:36I get to be whoever I want to be all the time.
00:59:42I wish you cared about what we thought of you, Reef,
00:59:45more than a bunch of people on the internet.
00:59:50And the next time we do a performative apology tour,
00:59:53throw your two best friends on the list,
00:59:54you sad fucking junkie.
01:00:13Why are you still here?
01:00:18I ordered food and I already paid for it on the app.
01:00:27Why did you stay my friend, Sander?
01:00:38I hate emotions so fucking much.
01:00:48When we were in high school,
01:00:50every other word out of everyone's mouth was faggot,
01:00:52including mine.
01:00:54And one time you slept over in 10th grade
01:00:57and you asked me point blank if I was gay.
01:00:59And I denied it for hours
01:01:01and we got into this big screaming fight
01:01:03and
01:01:06you said to me
01:01:09you said you would not be my friend if I was gay.
01:01:13You would only not be my friend if I was not myself.
01:01:18Because that would be too hard to watch.
01:01:27When you act gross like this,
01:01:29I choose to remember that person.
01:02:14you said yes,
01:02:20because that would be happy.
01:03:42Hi.
01:03:43Great to see you, Tura.
01:03:46It's great to see you, too.
01:03:48Thank you for doing this, by the way.
01:03:51I mean, I've been thinking about you a lot lately
01:03:55and how much our lives have paralleled
01:04:00and the things we've been through.
01:04:02It's a very, very unique experience.
01:04:07Like, when we were kids,
01:04:11like, why did we do this,
01:04:14and who did we do it for?
01:04:18One minute to live air.
01:04:20You know, it's funny.
01:04:25I didn't like you.
01:04:27Is that funny?
01:04:29You were always so smug, you know?
01:04:32But then when Virginia called me
01:04:34and told me what really is going on
01:04:38and what you are surviving as a victim,
01:04:42I mean, and the fact that you were willing to talk about it
01:04:46and share everything and share it with the world,
01:04:49I mean, you're a hero.
01:04:52And I want to interview that hero.
01:05:05It's going to be great.
01:05:15I'm going to leave.
01:05:17What?
01:05:19I'm going to leave now.
01:05:2130 seconds to live air.
01:05:22Wait, no, no, no.
01:05:22You can't, you can't, you can't.
01:05:23No, no, no.
01:05:24We can talk about other things.
01:05:26I mean, we need to talk about the thing.
01:05:28I just don't want to do this.
01:05:30But you're here.
01:05:31Why would you do that?
01:05:32Did I say something?
01:05:34No.
01:05:34But you cannot do this.
01:05:37We're about to go to live TV in how many seconds?
01:05:40Ten seconds live air.
01:05:41What the fuck are you doing, Reeve?
01:05:44God fucking damn it!
01:05:45You fucked me!
01:05:46I will fuck you so hard!
01:05:49I'll fucking go outland on all you motherfuckers!
01:05:52Bobby, hey, it fucking worked.
01:05:54Ira, I'm leaving.
01:05:56No, you don't understand.
01:05:57It worked.
01:05:59What worked?
01:06:00I didn't do the interview.
01:06:01Yeah, no shit.
01:06:02You didn't have to.
01:06:03And I knew that even friending a live interview
01:06:05would force in a hand, and it fucking did.
01:06:07It's just some random nobody
01:06:08who found the video on his ex-girlfriend's computer.
01:06:11They caved.
01:06:11I got him from 15 mil down to 35K.
01:06:1635K.
01:06:17And this is all behind you for the rest of your life.
01:06:26Hello?
01:06:31I don't know.
01:06:36Fuck do you mean I don't know?
01:06:39I just wanted all this to go away.
01:06:44And now that it's right here, in front of me...
01:06:52It's just so fucking wrong!
01:07:09Bobby, it's 35K.
01:07:11It's a fucking forerunner.
01:07:17You pay it.
01:07:21It's the cosmic tax.
01:07:26It's the cosmic tax.
01:07:29It's the cosmic tax.
01:07:44So delazion is the eventual great angle.
01:07:45I don't know.
01:07:45I don't know.
01:07:47I don't know.
01:07:49I guess you are worth it.
01:07:54I know.
01:07:54You're worth it.
01:07:54I love it.
01:07:56You're worth it.
01:07:58I know you do.
01:07:59I love it.
01:08:27so
01:08:28this is still crazy yeah i guess i mean you're reef hawk and you're talking to me like what
01:08:38you're a huge movie star dude like shouldn't you be at a big party or something um i mean
01:08:44i've been shooting in albuquerque for like six months living in this uh hotel room
01:08:52i guess i'm uh a little lonely or something that's no good
01:09:01don't you have like a wife or kids or a family or something
01:09:11no no i don't
01:09:16um why not uh why not
01:09:28i guess uh
01:09:34i guess when it came time to do that i uh
01:09:40i always chose something else i thought was bigger or more important
01:09:55that's really sad
01:10:06do you want to see my tits sure
01:10:26uh
01:10:43give kind eyes
01:10:47thank you
01:10:49i just need you for two minutes outside yeah okay great
01:11:07you know i've thought and fantasize about
01:11:11what i would do or say to you if i ever had the chance
01:11:25do you hate me
01:11:32no no i don't i don't hate you
01:11:38i love you man
01:11:45i'm just broke
01:11:46i'm just broke
01:12:19The day I walk down the street I used to wander
01:12:23Yeah, I shook my hand
01:12:26There aren't words for what you mean to me
01:12:34And the shame I feel for what I put you through
01:12:49You're my whole life
01:12:57But it's not about me
01:13:11I'm sorry
01:13:16I forgive you
01:13:19I forgive you too
01:13:25Hey
01:13:28I'm sorry
01:13:32Do you need a hug?
01:13:34Yes
01:13:35I love you too
01:13:37I love you guys
01:13:39Thank you, Reef
01:13:49The day I walk down the street I used to wander
01:13:53Yeah, I scratched my head and lit my cigarette
01:13:59Well, there was all these things that I don't think I remember
01:14:05Hey, how lucky can one man get
01:14:12Hello
01:14:13Hey
01:14:14Hi
01:14:16Who's this?
01:14:17It's Reef
01:14:20Reef?
01:14:21Reef?
01:14:23What can I do for you, Reef?
01:14:25I'm just calling to see how your day is
01:14:28What do you mean?
01:14:29I mean
01:14:30I mean
01:14:31How's your day?
01:14:32Like
01:14:33How are the events of your day?
01:14:35What do you mean how's my day?
01:14:36How are the events of my day?
01:14:37What does that mean?
01:14:39I'm just asking how your day is
01:14:41Like what you did and how it is
01:14:43The fuck do you mean how is my day?
01:14:46What do you want, Reef?
01:14:47What's your angle?
01:14:48Red
01:14:49I'm calling to see how your day is going
01:14:53Like
01:14:53How you are
01:14:54Like how you're doing
01:14:58Oh
01:15:01Oh
01:15:02Well, thanks
01:15:04I mean
01:15:05All I'm doing, I'm just hanging out
01:15:06That's all I'm doing
01:15:09Nice
01:15:11That's awesome
01:15:12Yeah, I mean, you know
01:15:13Nothing crazy
01:15:15Same old?
01:15:17Yeah
01:15:18Yeah
01:15:19Same
01:15:20Not a
01:15:21Whole lot here
01:15:23Today either
01:15:24Well, that's nice
01:15:26That's nice
01:15:27Today I walked
01:15:29Down the street
01:15:30I used to wander
01:15:31Yeah
01:15:32I shook my hand
01:15:34And made myself a bed
01:15:38There was all these things
01:15:40That I don't think I remember
01:15:43Hey
01:15:44How lucky
01:15:46I can't one man give
01:15:49Hey
01:15:50How lucky
01:15:51I can't one man give
01:15:54Hey
01:15:57How lucky
01:15:58Can one man give
01:16:02How lucky
01:16:02How lucky
01:16:14Can one man give
01:16:36Girl, girl, girl, girl, we got this.
01:16:39We got this.
01:16:39Who are you?
01:16:40The second most interesting bitch in this room.
01:16:42Trust.
01:16:43Three, two, one.
01:16:45Good evening.
01:16:46And welcome to the primetime special edition of the Drew Barrymore Show.
01:16:52We begin tonight with a gentleman I do not know.
01:16:56Hi, Xander Alexander, huge fan, and you soon will be of mine as well.
01:17:01So much of your show is about your guests coming on here and unloading on your tits,
01:17:05and I just want you to know that today I'm here to take that load for you.
01:17:10Well, let's get the tissues out and do this right now.
01:17:15Yes.
01:17:16First of all, I don't know if you know anything about my past, but, you know, E.T. changed my
01:17:21life.
01:17:22I actually always thought it was et.
01:17:24You know, like French?
01:17:25Never seen it before.
01:17:26Saw the poster.
01:17:28Know how relevant it is.
01:17:29Know how important it is.
01:17:30From what I understand, it's about you and a bunch of other little kids finding a little old Jewish guy
01:17:34and taking him for a ride on a bicycle.
01:17:36Little ball guy, you just put a blanket on him and taking him for a ride on a bicycle.
01:17:40Again, I haven't seen it.
01:17:42I've only seen Call Me By Your Name in the notebook.
01:17:48Don't know how I did that now.
01:17:52I wonder where it's gone.
01:17:55Must have spent the way I went waiting for the dawn.
01:18:01To shoot the moon right between the eyes I'm screaming Take me back to sunny countryside
01:18:29Clocks and spoons and empty rooms It's raining out tonight
01:18:48I'm saying I'm crying out.
01:18:51build on a bicycle
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