- 3 weeks ago
Holidays with the Twins [Full Movie] [English Subs]Full EP - Full
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01:06I mean, sometimes change the tune.
00:01:10I've got so much to tell you, but I think I love you, Niles.
00:01:18Sometimes I feel that, and then, I don't know, other times, not so much.
00:01:26Over the last week, I've had a lot of time to think about my life, my future work, you
00:01:31know, what I'm doing, who am I spending it with?
00:01:34Yeah.
00:01:35And, I don't know, like, the last week, we've connected, you know, better than ever before,
00:01:42but...
00:01:42I need to tell you something.
00:01:44Oh, no, just let me finish.
00:01:45I don't know what it is.
00:01:46Like, something feels different.
00:01:49I mean, it's like the spark in our relationship is back, and it's never been any better.
00:01:54Like, I don't know, maybe it's just me.
00:01:57Maybe I've had a lot of time to think, you know.
00:02:01Don't know.
00:02:08Maybe it's...
00:02:09Isn't it wrong?
00:02:13The one thing I'm sure about...
00:02:18is...
00:02:19I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:02:27Miles, wait.
00:02:31Gemma.
00:02:33Were you married then?
00:02:39I know it's just a band, but I promise you when I get the money, you know, I'll get you
00:02:43a diamond.
00:02:44What do you say?
00:02:51I've got something to come first.
00:02:54What?
00:02:55I'm not Gemma.
00:02:58You are?
00:03:01I'm not Gemma.
00:03:08You are joking, right?
00:03:21Not.
00:03:25I met Gemma just under a week and a half ago.
00:03:29And...
00:03:30It was half a year to be more related, and that we were twins.
00:03:34And...
00:03:34I mean...
00:03:36You were even surprised with the piano play.
00:03:50Myles, please.
00:03:51Can you explain?
00:03:52John, I...
00:03:53You could have just said no, all right?
00:03:55Instead of making that ridiculous story.
00:04:00Look, it's...
00:04:01Myles, please.
00:04:03Myles.
00:04:24Myles, please.
00:04:26Myles, please.
00:04:32Barrel problem?
00:04:34Barrel problem?
00:04:35You're so subtle.
00:05:00I don't know this rubbish too long.
00:05:03I don't want the electric to go on through my roof.
00:05:07Come on, Trey, have a dance.
00:05:10Yeah, come on, Trey.
00:05:13Some of us have work to do.
00:05:18Hey, you haven't had a job since 1997.
00:05:22Cheeky, I'm working.
00:05:25Alright.
00:05:29Definitely a scam.
00:05:45Linda's a tenner mum.
00:05:47Not my other money.
00:05:48Don't be so stingy I don't get paid for another two weeks.
00:05:52I'm sure I can work somewhere out.
00:05:54You won a job, cash in hand.
00:05:56Sounds good.
00:05:57What, you scheming?
00:05:58Me?
00:05:59Scheming?
00:06:07Tracy's luxury getaway, isn't this about?
00:06:09No, you mine.
00:06:10More than mine.
00:06:12OK.
00:06:13You remember that holiday letter scheme I had?
00:06:17Well, you're going to have to be more specific than that.
00:06:19The cockroaches.
00:06:20Gross.
00:06:21Gross, yeah.
00:06:22What about it?
00:06:22Well, those cheap places, they don't give refunds, do they?
00:06:26They give vouchers.
00:06:28But I ran that scheme five times before they worked it out.
00:06:31Now I've got good credit.
00:06:34OK.
00:06:35So, I now rent a place, sublet it on my website.
00:06:43I've put a few targeted adverts in posh areas.
00:06:47Surely this can't work?
00:06:49It has.
00:06:51I've just rented an art deco cottage.
00:06:54I've rented it a couple of days either side, so you can go in, sort the place out,
00:06:59then clean up before the real owners get in and check it out.
00:07:04How much, then?
00:07:06Fifty quid.
00:07:11Deal.
00:07:17Oh, God, it's me, Ed.
00:07:18What's E1?
00:07:19Oh.
00:07:24Hello.
00:07:26Yes, this is she.
00:07:29Yes, I've just got your booking.
00:07:33Oh, I'm just wondering how private and secure your listing is.
00:07:37Yes, the family does need security and a private environment.
00:07:41Don't worry.
00:07:42It's a lovely, quiet area.
00:07:45Perfect for walks.
00:07:47Oh, excellent.
00:07:49One of our parties will be arriving on the Saturday, and the rest of the party will be arriving the
00:07:56following day.
00:07:57Perfect.
00:07:59And you're happy to pay for the security in advance?
00:08:04Oh, yes, of course.
00:08:05That's not a problem.
00:08:07Ah, wonderful.
00:08:09You will, of course, get it back when we've checked over the property after your client leaves.
00:08:15Oh, wonderful.
00:08:17If I have any more questions, I'll give you another ring.
00:08:20I'm happy to have served you, madam.
00:08:23Okay, goodbye.
00:08:24Bye-bye.
00:08:26Is everything gone fat?
00:08:28Oh, yes, Princess. Your getaway makes.
00:08:31Would you like me to tell this in Her Majesty?
00:08:34No, no. I'll tell them at lunchy.
00:08:37Is anything wrong, Princess?
00:08:39You do look as though you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders.
00:08:44I have something to tell them when we're on holiday.
00:08:47I don't think they're going to be very happy with me.
00:08:50I'm happy to listen.
00:08:53Perhaps I'm just being silly.
00:08:56Anyway, we need to look at next week's schedule.
00:09:01Of course.
00:09:02Is she a child?
00:09:05Mm.
00:09:14Mm.
00:09:16Mm.
00:09:17Mm.
00:09:17Mm.
00:09:18Mm.
00:09:21Mm.
00:09:28Mm.
00:09:30Mm.
00:09:31Mm.
00:09:32Mm.
00:09:33Mm.
00:09:35Mm.
00:09:36Mm.
00:09:37Mm.
00:09:48Mm.
00:09:52Mm.
00:09:53So if I win lottery or marry a prince, this is all we've got.
00:09:59And what about us?
00:10:00Hmm.
00:10:01Oh, well, where do you see us heading?
00:10:02I'm not having kids, if that's what you mean.
00:10:04No, I don't mean-
00:10:04My mum will kill me if I make her grandmother.
00:10:08Being silly.
00:10:09She's got .
00:10:09She's got knife in a garage bigger than Rambo's.
00:10:13You said you'll have to tell me. Is that it?
00:10:16No, it's my wife .
00:10:40it's gorgeous a little bohemian what do you know about bohemian you're a pumpkin scout
00:10:46watch it trappy besides i wish i could stay here it's already spotless what do we do then well we've
00:10:55got to clean up after ourselves and i'm going to swap the brochures and the guest box to me mom
00:10:59so
00:10:59they think it's hers oh easy besides we'll make that much mess will we
00:11:10do you know what mine's don't excite me anymore what about that fella that tried chatting us up
00:11:18in the club last week he was fed oh no not my time yeah we'll have my old your time
00:11:27it used to be able no beats my ass
00:11:32yeah
00:11:32yeah
00:11:49oh
00:11:49oh
00:11:50oh
00:11:50oh
00:11:50oh
00:11:50oh
00:11:55stop don't take my pillows away these are my pillows wolf
00:12:07oh my god they're checking in in an hour quickly
00:12:15oh
00:12:21oh yeah we're fine
00:12:25we're just doing final checks and that
00:12:27yeah yeah when the first person arrives
00:12:32yeah yeah fine fine
00:12:33yeah later
00:12:35yeah
00:12:38clean up now
00:12:39okay
00:12:42okay
00:12:42i'll
00:12:47i'll
00:12:57i'll
00:12:58i'll
00:12:58i'll
00:13:01i'll
00:13:17Oh, great. We're here.
00:13:20Oh, finally.
00:13:22It'd be so good to just relax and not have to think about my duties.
00:13:25And I've just got one last email to send.
00:13:27Oh, OK. I'll go and grab the keys.
00:13:49Oh, excuse me. Morning. Sorry a bit. No problem. We're just finished. I've got the keys here for you.
00:13:58Oh, thank you. I'll give these to my boss.
00:14:02Great. I'll just go grab my colleague.
00:14:04I'll give these to my colleague.
00:14:06I'll give these to my colleague.
00:14:39I'll give these to my colleague.
00:14:48I'll give these to my colleague.
00:15:02I'll give these to my colleague.
00:15:04Oh, yeah.
00:15:05Oh, are you sure you'll be OK? You might just...
00:15:07Oh, yes. There's a little shop just down the road.
00:15:12A corner shop?
00:15:15Have you ever been in a shop before?
00:15:18Is it like her, mate?
00:15:46Is it like her, mate?
00:16:01Oh, wow, you really are letting it all hang out, aren't you, Princess?
00:16:07Oh, you should put a cardigan on in case of the paparazzi.
00:16:11Oh, and to keep you warm.
00:16:13What?
00:16:15I'll have to run now, Princess.
00:16:17Excuse me.
00:16:18Oh, I've got to go and do a shift at the teabag factory and have a hot pot.
00:16:26Oh, you do amuse me, Princess.
00:16:29Call me Princess again and I'll show you how amusing I can be.
00:16:34There are, love.
00:16:49Sorry, love.
00:16:50I mean, madam, I've just left my phone.
00:16:53I'll just grab it.
00:17:02Oh, don't mind me.
00:17:13No!
00:17:18Listen, I've had the place redecorated.
00:17:21Now, I've already put in some scratches so they'll knock 10% off, but you'll have to pay for the
00:17:26rest.
00:17:31Maybe it's time your constituencies and your wife found out what it is you get up to.
00:17:40Don't get funny with me, buddy boy.
00:17:42I've still got the photos.
00:17:44You've got plenty of money.
00:17:49Good.
00:17:50That's better.
00:17:52Now, I'll want it in my account by the end of the day.
00:17:58Who's that?
00:17:59Mayor.
00:18:00What?
00:18:01I used to date him about 10 years back.
00:18:05You wouldn't believe the dirt I've got on him.
00:18:10Oh, my gosh.
00:18:12That's a girl I feel sorry for.
00:18:15Anyway, what can I do for you, lover boy?
00:18:19I've come to see Gemma.
00:18:21Oh, she's not here.
00:18:22She's at our holiday cottage.
00:18:25You've got a holiday cottage?
00:18:26Yes.
00:18:27Well, kind of.
00:18:29Anyway, she'll be back in a few hours.
00:18:35This is well bizarre.
00:18:39Maybe we're ducks, Gainus.
00:18:41I think they're a bit more than lookalikes, Flower.
00:18:44So, what are we?
00:18:46Who's your dad?
00:18:49Well, my father is king of a small island and a British rule.
00:18:54That's good.
00:18:55Because my mum's the queen of Sheba, love.
00:18:57Is she right, then?
00:19:00Well, I was born in this country.
00:19:03They had to reside here during the coup.
00:19:06The heir of my lord is prone to it, unfortunately.
00:19:09We did try to move back.
00:19:11But ended up right here.
00:19:13So, technically, my father is nothing more than a lord.
00:19:20Well, that sucks.
00:19:22Was your dad a bit of a Lothario?
00:19:24I beg your pardon?
00:19:26I never met me dad.
00:19:28Me mum says they were like ships passing at nine.
00:19:31He might have done it more than a knight, would they?
00:19:33I mean, 33 years ago.
00:19:36What's your birthday?
00:19:38April 1st.
00:19:40Mine too.
00:19:44But I'm 39.
00:19:47Fine, all right.
00:19:49I'm 39.
00:19:51We're always new twins.
00:19:53Everything matches.
00:19:54Well, how are we going to find out?
00:19:56Hang on.
00:20:01Where are you?
00:20:02I've got a question for you, mum.
00:20:04All right, let's be out.
00:20:06Was my old man a king or the lord?
00:20:09What are you talking about?
00:20:11Are you taking the mick?
00:20:13No, do you reckon he was?
00:20:15He were barely a court, just a love.
00:20:18Well, I don't suppose you had two kids and gave one away.
00:20:24Have you been drinking again?
00:20:37I mean, it's impossible.
00:20:39My mother gave birth to me.
00:20:41Well, it's a mystery.
00:20:45Hold on.
00:20:48You're kidding me.
00:20:50What?
00:20:50I'm just dreaming.
00:20:52Wait.
00:20:54What the hell, like?
00:20:57You're not dreaming.
00:20:59It's real.
00:21:00Look, I'm going to have to go soon.
00:21:03Why?
00:21:04Yeah, I've got to get back on the grind.
00:21:06I can't sit here with you all day being a princess.
00:21:11Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
00:21:13I can assure you.
00:21:15Yeah, well, try being me.
00:21:17Trying to scrape by with a boring boyfriend,
00:21:20who I'm pretty sure can't stand me right now.
00:21:24Let alone me mother.
00:21:25Christ!
00:21:26She's not nice.
00:21:30I wouldn't say that, but she's just complicated.
00:21:34She must be doing all right, though.
00:21:37She has a second property.
00:21:38So what's so bad about your life, princess?
00:21:44Well, I'm expected to act a certain way.
00:21:48I'm object a certain image, and, well, I just don't feel true to myself.
00:21:55I have to have dinners with noughts, ladies, politicians, kings and queens sometimes.
00:22:03I mean, I even used to date William before we met Kate.
00:22:07Seriously?
00:22:09Yes.
00:22:11It's just such an effort, having to dress up all the time and be so demure.
00:22:21What is it?
00:22:27Well, we went to a gala a few weeks ago.
00:22:32And there was a lady playing the piano.
00:22:35I've been learning the piano for years, and I stopped to listen to her.
00:22:44But my mother wouldn't let me.
00:22:48She said she was nearly the hire to help.
00:22:51I just didn't understand why they made me learn to play.
00:22:57If I wasn't ever able to.
00:23:01I felt so trapped.
00:23:05And she just looked so free.
00:23:08Well, I can tell you being the hire to help ain't what it's cracked up to be.
00:23:14I'd love to feel important.
00:23:17You know, be the centre of attention.
00:23:21I have an idea.
00:23:24What?
00:23:27Why don't we swap places for a week?
00:23:30You're having a laugh, aren't you?
00:23:33No.
00:23:34I'm being serious.
00:23:35A week?
00:23:39Why not?
00:23:40We're identical.
00:23:42We just need to go over everything that we need to know.
00:23:50Bugger it.
00:23:51Why not?
00:23:53You're serious, that is too.
00:23:57hardships reallyς.
00:24:11They're going to cry.
00:24:17They're going to cry.
00:24:20Then let me get to the drum and arrive.
00:24:22Then let them fly again.
00:24:23I'm going to cry.
00:24:24Then let them fly again.
00:24:25They're going to cry.
00:24:25I don't know.
00:24:38Sorry. I know it's late. How are you getting on?
00:24:43Getting there.
00:24:46I have an idea.
00:24:48Keep me with it.
00:24:50Well, I know a photographer and I can get access to his studio in the morning.
00:24:55So he could go through the physical side of it all.
00:24:58What do you mean?
00:25:02Well, you walk like a member of Oasis.
00:25:05No offence.
00:25:07None taken.
00:25:09I need to teach you how to walk, talk and eat like a princess.
00:25:12What next? Poop like a princess?
00:25:15How vulgar.
00:25:18I've got my work cut out for me.
00:25:20Sorry.
00:25:22You get some sleep now.
00:25:23You've got to start early before my family arrives.
00:25:29I want to talk like a princess.
00:25:36I want to walk like a princess.
00:25:42I want to dress to impress like a princess.
00:25:52But I'm not going to be your princess.
00:25:57I'm going to be my own princess.
00:26:00My own princess.
00:26:02Be my own princess.
00:26:06Be my own princess.
00:26:10I am going to talk like a princess.
00:26:17I am going to walk like a princess.
00:26:24I am going to dress like a princess.
00:26:31I am going to be, I am going to be my own princess.
00:26:41I am a princess.
00:26:55I am a princess.
00:27:10Sure
00:27:12You?
00:27:13Yeah
00:27:15I'll get Connie to pick you up from here
00:27:17And I'll get a new Uber to take to New Daff
00:27:24Well don't
00:27:25I don't know if there's an Uber
00:27:26I don't know if I'd
00:27:28Get that
00:27:30We're going to have to swap clothes too
00:27:34Oh, this is really comfy
00:27:38Well, I'm going to have to stand
00:27:39And straighten up
00:27:40Shoulders back
00:27:45You know, good luck
00:27:47I'll get a taxi to pick you up
00:27:48And drop me off at mine
00:27:49It's just opposite the flower shop
00:27:54I'm nervous
00:27:55Well I'd say it don't be
00:27:56But my mum can be a bit scarier sometimes
00:28:12Morning
00:28:13You all right?
00:28:16Yes
00:28:16Your family's waiting for you at the holiday cottage
00:28:21Spiffing
00:28:22One's high tea
00:28:23High tea?
00:28:25Yeah, like cucumber sandwiches and
00:28:27All that
00:28:32Are you playing with me?
00:28:36Oh
00:28:37Yeah
00:28:38You got me
00:28:41After you, your own highness
00:29:03I do
00:29:04I do
00:29:05I do
00:29:07I do
00:29:08I do
00:29:08I do
00:29:09I do
00:29:10I do
00:29:10I have a book
00:29:14What about you, Ed?
00:29:16Dear old Gemma
00:29:17I only saw you yesterday
00:29:20You've been on the extra-end signers last night
00:29:26Well, then
00:29:28Oh
00:29:29Look
00:29:36Well, well, well
00:29:38The princess returns
00:29:40Her majesty has deigned to share her presence
00:29:44Excuse me
00:29:47I don't know what you're talking about
00:29:49So, look
00:29:50Was Gemma with you last night?
00:29:53No
00:29:54I thought she was back here
00:29:59Well, erm
00:30:00I just
00:30:02Fancy the night out
00:30:03I mean
00:30:04Is that a
00:30:05Cry?
00:30:06Do what you like
00:30:08I had to entertain your doping boyfriend
00:30:14Oh, Miles
00:30:15For God's sake
00:30:16Bloody hell, lad
00:30:17It's like looking in a butcher's window
00:30:18Cover yourself up
00:30:19James
00:30:20Can we, er
00:30:21Can we have a chat later?
00:30:49Can we have a chat later?
00:30:53Oh, come in
00:30:55Oh, thank God
00:30:56We've been stuck here without any help for an hour
00:30:59It's been frightful
00:31:01We're dying for a cup of tea
00:31:02I've no idea how the contraption works
00:31:05The thing
00:31:07You mean the kettle
00:31:09Or that
00:31:10Don't worry, your majesty
00:31:12I'll make the tea
00:31:13Is Diana here yet?
00:31:16She's, er, outside in the courtyard
00:31:18Oh, God
00:31:21All right
00:31:23Oh, what's the matter, your majesty?
00:31:25Since when do you call father now, your majesty and lady?
00:31:30I'm sorry, mother
00:31:32Did Nancy do your make-up?
00:31:35It's too much
00:31:36You look like one of those American princesses
00:31:39I did my make-up
00:31:41Well, it looks like you've used a spray can, darling
00:31:44Have your sister do it
00:31:46Nancy has the week off
00:31:48Diana?
00:31:49Yes, Diana
00:31:50Go on
00:31:51Shoo, shoo
00:31:57Hey, sis
00:32:01You've never called me sis before
00:32:04And
00:32:05Heavens, who did your make-up?
00:32:07A mortician?
00:32:09Erm, mother's asked you to help me
00:32:13Fine
00:32:18Oh, it's great
00:32:28Don't make habit of it
00:32:31Thank you, Diana
00:32:32I don't think you've thanked me
00:32:34For anything
00:32:36Oh
00:32:39Sorry
00:32:41And you've never apologised, either
00:32:43Did you get a visit from three ghosts last night?
00:32:46Did they know they're too late for Christmas?
00:32:50So
00:32:52What do you think about the holiday cottage?
00:32:55I don't know what possessed you to book this
00:32:56When we could have gone to Uncle Giles' chateau in Monaco
00:33:01I think it's nice to switch things up a little
00:33:04You're odd today, Carinthia
00:33:06Very
00:33:07Very odd
00:33:08I'm just happy to see you
00:33:10Ew
00:33:11Look, just
00:33:12Pick out a nice dress
00:33:13Daddy's been invited to love with Nell's latest gathering
00:33:16Where to make our token appearances
00:33:20Is it going to be posh?
00:33:23Lords
00:33:23Dignitaries
00:33:24Royalty
00:33:25Not posh at all, darling
00:33:29Did you bang your head?
00:33:51All right, love
00:33:52Horse pie better, will you?
00:33:54Oh my, love
00:33:54You're my, love
00:33:55We love
00:33:59We love
00:34:00We love
00:34:01We love
00:34:01And they're going to find out
00:34:08Yes, they're gonna find out
00:34:10About you
00:34:12About you
00:34:12I know your secret
00:34:14I know your secret
00:34:17Imposter
00:34:17Imposter
00:34:20Imposter
00:34:20Imposter
00:34:21Oh my god
00:34:22This is an open bar, is it not?
00:34:28The bar is paid for, yes.
00:34:33Drink Connie?
00:34:36I can't, I'm working.
00:34:39I think you just need to relax.
00:34:42You look a little uptight.
00:34:50Come on, let's go out.
00:34:58Better get off soon, covering someone's shift.
00:35:03I really want to go clubbing tonight instead.
00:35:05Oh, I don't, yeah.
00:35:08Because if I don't work, I don't get paid.
00:35:10Don't get paid, can't pay me bill. On and on it goes.
00:35:13Right?
00:35:14You can't just ask for some money off your parents.
00:35:17My jailbird, Daddy.
00:35:20If you had a lube buried somewhere, I wouldn't tell me where it was.
00:35:23Mum's more broke than me.
00:35:28How long have we known each other now?
00:35:32Blimey.
00:35:32What were we?
00:35:35Four, five, back in primary school.
00:35:38And a lifetime of shenanigans ever since.
00:35:45Did I ever tell you about me, Dad?
00:35:47Only that your mum didn't know who it was.
00:35:49Do you think she's lying about that?
00:35:53Honestly, I never know where you are, Mark.
00:35:56What, she's a lover.
00:36:00Should we get ready for Miles?
00:36:03Yeah.
00:36:04Look, if you're gonna dump him, let him down gently.
00:36:09Alright?
00:36:10He's a nice guy.
00:36:12Why?
00:36:13Why was she...
00:36:13I mean, why would I...
00:36:14Don't know about Harmony Grant.
00:36:15Do you remember her?
00:36:16Or Daphne Breen.
00:36:18Daphne.
00:36:18Oh, never mind.
00:36:20Go easy on him.
00:36:22Alright?
00:36:24Yeah, okay.
00:36:26Do you know the way to Nashall?
00:36:28That's where I've got a meeting.
00:36:29You don't remember?
00:36:31Well, not exactly, no.
00:36:32Come on.
00:36:32Wear a cab with me.
00:36:33We'll dump you off on the way, sweet.
00:36:35Mm.
00:36:56Honestly, Carinthia.
00:36:59I've never seen you act like that before.
00:37:10What were you drinking?
00:37:13Not beer, was it?
00:37:15It was bitter, Papa.
00:37:18A princess does not drink bitter beer, lager.
00:37:24I mean, this is you might find in a public house.
00:37:28Unless it's high-cast spirits.
00:37:30Like champagne.
00:37:33And good champagne at that.
00:37:35Can I not drink cider?
00:37:38What?
00:37:39It was a genuine question.
00:37:41Listen, Carinthia.
00:37:42You need to start to improve your behaviour.
00:37:45We have our reputation to uphold.
00:37:50Show some decorum.
00:37:52Not doing that, okay.
00:37:54Not doing that, okay.
00:37:59Well, that went surprisingly well.
00:38:05Anyway, what's the decor?
00:38:10It's like etiquette.
00:38:12You took classes in it.
00:38:16Oh.
00:38:24You've upset your father, your lady.
00:38:27I'm 39, your mother.
00:38:31Well, perhaps you should act like it.
00:38:33Now, we have something important for you to do next week.
00:38:36Father has some friends in Switzerland.
00:38:38Very upper crust.
00:38:40He's told them you spent two years at RADA.
00:38:43And performed plays across Europe.
00:38:46Why'd you tell them that?
00:38:48Because you did, Carinthia.
00:38:51So, we'd like you to do a short performance for them.
00:38:55We've booked a rehearsal space in two days.
00:38:58We'll let you know what play it is when we decide.
00:39:01But you know them all off by heart anyway.
00:39:05Gee.
00:39:06Thanks.
00:39:09Stick to her like glue.
00:39:11Make sure she's focused.
00:39:12And no more foolishness.
00:39:15Okay, Connie?
00:39:17Yes, Your Majesty.
00:39:17I'd like you to stay.
00:39:32Miles?
00:39:35Hello?
00:39:37Are you here?
00:39:41Miles?
00:39:45Miles?
00:39:49Miles?
00:39:50Miles?
00:40:13Miles?
00:40:14Miles?
00:40:14Miles?
00:40:20Miles?
00:41:42Gemma, that was amazing. Like, I'm genuinely stunned.
00:41:48It was nothing.
00:41:50Why didn't you say you could play music? I mean, I know you went to acting school, but music? You
00:41:56should have said.
00:41:59People like me don't get to show off, really. Besides, one cares.
00:42:05I care. I love music.
00:42:09You do?
00:42:12You know I do. I used to play when I was younger.
00:42:14I do. No one here as good as I. That was... That was brilliant.
00:42:26It's just nothing.
00:42:28Yeah. It's not a bad place to work, is it?
00:42:34What do you do?
00:42:37Gemma, I told you about this last time I was here.
00:42:41Like, you're in your own pub sometimes, I sort of.
00:42:44I'm the maintenance guy, so I make sure the stage mechanics and the sound are ticked up.
00:42:51How marvelous.
00:43:00I need to lock up now, okay? So, why don't we go for a walk and go to the pub?
00:43:06Have a game of darts?
00:43:08Yeah, let's have a game of darts and a few drinks.
00:43:11Um, why don't we go on a walk? I mean, it's a lovely day out, and, uh, do you know
00:43:20any good viewpoints?
00:43:25Sure, yeah. And maybe we can have a chat about things.
00:43:36You sure it's not dodgy?
00:43:38Would I do anything dodgy?
00:43:41Yeah, why'd you get him?
00:43:43The random line at, uh, a jewelers I do some cleaning at.
00:43:47They were just going to throw it out, don't we?
00:43:49Ow!
00:43:50Not a cabbage trace. It's a story.
00:43:56Hey, what's up in it?
00:43:59Even some diamonds.
00:44:01Of course, I'll give them a cut once we've sold it.
00:44:05But what I need you to do is to pass it off on a couple of porn shops in town.
00:44:09Why can't you do it?
00:44:11You know I would.
00:44:12But I've heard many.
00:44:13And technically, I'm on disability benefits, so, uh, they can't sit me rushing up and downtown.
00:44:20You know, between porn shops.
00:44:23Hmm. Think about it.
00:44:25I don't think too long, love.
00:44:36Oh, be careful.
00:44:38You all right?
00:44:40Yeah.
00:44:43You know, it's so beautiful out here.
00:44:47It's so peaceful.
00:44:50Yeah, I know. It's, it's, well, I come up here quite a lot, you know, to clear my head, and...
00:44:57Yeah, I can see why.
00:45:00Really?
00:45:02Well, this, this isn't your cup of tea, James.
00:45:04Right?
00:45:05You, you never really wanted to do this.
00:45:07Well, more for me, innit?
00:45:09Heh, heh.
00:45:12Yeah, I suppose.
00:45:17You cold?
00:45:18Yeah, it's chillier than I thought.
00:45:22Come here.
00:45:27This isn't normal.
00:45:28Really?
00:45:29Yeah.
00:45:31But, right now, normally it's a Huggins woke and whack your ass off.
00:45:41What did you need to tell me?
00:45:50Do you think we're good together?
00:45:51What do you mean?
00:45:53I don't know. Sometimes I feel like you're not really that into me.
00:45:58No, I'm sorry.
00:46:00Sometimes I just get caught up in myself.
00:46:03Look.
00:46:05You're really warm-hearted and you're wonderful.
00:46:08I mean, is that...
00:46:09That's a bit forward of me to say.
00:46:12Not really, James.
00:46:13Like, we've...
00:46:14We have been going out for a year now.
00:46:22Come on.
00:46:24Shall I get you home?
00:46:25Hmm.
00:46:50something that i tell you won't care sister you never do
00:46:55of course i did shouldn't you be offering a grovelling apology to mumsy and dadsy
00:47:01dadsy already gave me a rollicking rollicking yeah you know what i mean
00:47:09must say i find it rather amusing
00:47:17okay sis what's his name what's he doing how on earth do you know
00:47:25hmm i knew that not come on then melody bomb
00:47:32it's nathaniel he's up to his old tricks again father is insistent that he's going to make an
00:47:40excellent husband but he's only considering nathaniel's family and their standing
00:47:46as for nathaniel himself
00:47:49so he's more on that
00:47:53yes i suppose so
00:47:58he might have been born with wealth but not so much of a brain
00:48:05that is nathaniel done
00:48:09oh he can't keep his hands off the mates
00:48:13his father set a fire several of the house staff for fraternizing with nathaniel after dark
00:48:20yeah so he can't be trusted
00:48:22god it's ridiculous
00:48:24these men in high society are almost expected to behave like this and suffer no consequences
00:48:29hmm you should suffer consequences like a swift need to the family jewels
00:48:35sister perhaps you're right besides those 12 months studying judo under grandmaster
00:48:45dakashi that father paid for i suppose i could put them to good use
00:48:55whatever you do
00:48:59don't settle for second best
00:49:03always follow your heart
00:49:06i mean you might not always be right
00:49:10would it be your bad
00:49:13and not father's judgment
00:49:18i suppose i should get ready to face him
00:49:21i'm going to nathaniel's family manor tonight with momzie and dad see
00:49:29forget the bit about the knee to the spuds
00:49:34just be firm
00:49:37and honest
00:49:43mm
00:50:03a cup of tea
00:50:06I'm sure
00:50:09I'm not so surprised
00:50:12You've never made a cup of tea before
00:50:14You usually ask me
00:50:18Well, I can assure you that I make a grape
00:50:21So sit down, relax, take away off
00:50:27You seem very different
00:50:49I'm impressed
00:50:51It's only a cup of tea, Connie
00:50:56Anyway, I've been an agony aunt all day
00:50:59So if you want to chat, go away
00:51:02Me?
00:51:04Chat
00:51:06About what?
00:51:10Your love life?
00:51:13My love life?
00:51:15Good God
00:51:17If you want to talk about disasters
00:51:19Let's talk about, I don't know, Pompeii or Titanic
00:51:25So there's no man in your life?
00:51:28No
00:51:28No ma'am
00:51:31No woman either
00:51:35The truth is, working for a family of royals
00:51:39Takes all my time
00:51:41Don't get me wrong
00:51:42I do love it
00:51:44But it takes all my time
00:51:47And I am on call 24-7
00:51:50Well, we need to set some boundaries and some terms
00:51:54What?
00:51:54You know, workers' rights and all that
00:52:00You, of all people
00:52:02Are saying that?
00:52:08Anyway
00:52:09This tea
00:52:10Looks like it needs biscuits
00:52:13And I know you work with the royals
00:52:15And probably love a rich tea
00:52:18I prefer a custard cream
00:52:21Me too
00:52:23Do you know what?
00:52:25I've got some upstairs in my suitcase
00:52:29My guilty pleasure
00:52:31Go grab them then
00:52:43Yeah, I've got my daughter's mate to do it
00:52:46She's going to do the ones for me
00:52:48It's a bit scary, but
00:52:50I reckon there's a fair few grand there
00:52:53How do you think I've got it?
00:52:56Five-finger discount, mate
00:52:59Oh, yeah
00:53:00You'd be surprised at what I've stolen
00:53:16Whatever she's told you to do, don't do it
00:53:18Why not?
00:53:19Well, I think she's doing something unlawful
00:53:22So, God, right
00:53:22So what?
00:53:24You can't take the risk for someone else
00:53:27Lighten up, gems
00:53:28You've been well uptight lately
00:53:32Come on
00:53:33Let's have a rave
00:53:44Come on
00:53:45Come on
00:53:45I'm in love with the way
00:53:49Oh, Christ
00:53:50Look at my right there
00:53:51We're passing strings
00:53:52Come on
00:54:00That's more like it
00:54:02Space beat
00:54:03Woo!
00:54:06Woo!
00:54:07Woo!
00:54:09Woo!
00:54:12Woo!
00:54:13Woo!
00:54:14Woo!
00:54:15Woo!
00:54:16Woo!
00:54:17Woo!
00:54:18Woo!
00:54:19Woo!
00:54:43This is
00:54:44This is much nicer
00:54:50Yes, actually
00:54:52Yes, actually
00:54:55Yes, actually
00:55:21What are you two girls doing?
00:55:27We were just dancing, Your Majesty
00:55:29Dancing? Why?
00:55:31That
00:55:33I was teaching her how to dance
00:55:35If I had a reason for Carina to dance
00:55:38We would have hired a teacher
00:55:41From the Royal London School of Ballet
00:55:44To teach her
00:55:46We've tried that once, Raul
00:55:48She has no rhythm
00:55:49Like Bambi on Ice
00:55:51It's like a wish
00:55:52Oh, yes
00:55:52Oh, yeah, it's yes
00:55:53Of course
00:55:55A word, colony
00:56:05Yeah, I can't think I can see you
00:56:08Right, Queen, dear, my gentleman.
00:56:11I think you need to start to focus a bit.
00:56:15We've got a busy year ahead.
00:56:18It's very important that everybody is on the bar.
00:56:22You have a reputation, too.
00:56:24Right, you are, Kingy.
00:56:26Kingy. Kingy.
00:56:28Sorry, Father.
00:56:31Prepare for a performance to the theatre.
00:56:34I want to see your midsummer night's dream.
00:56:38All my best.
00:56:40Perhaps, Hamlet.
00:56:45Prepare yourself.
00:56:48You'll do a pre-run the day after tomorrow.
00:56:52And then next week, you'll perform in Switzerland.
00:56:58This is bad.
00:57:00I mean, I haven't acted in years in Shakespeare.
00:57:04It's so old.
00:57:07He's dead in me.
00:57:11I should hope so.
00:57:31I'm not what you want me to be.
00:57:34To be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be.
00:58:01To be, to be, to be, to be, to be, or not, to be, to be.
00:58:19It's just too much for me.
00:58:23I'm not what you want me to be.
00:58:50I'm not what you want.
00:58:56I'm not what you want me to be.
00:59:01I'm not what you want me to be.
00:59:15I'm not what you want me to be.
00:59:17Miss Brimpton.
00:59:18Miss Brimpton.
00:59:19Is it?
00:59:19I think it's okay?
00:59:21Yeah.
00:59:22The lights are on.
00:59:22The theatre's yours.
00:59:24The caretaker will be back later to lock up when you're done.
00:59:26And I just need to go back inside to pack some stuff away and then I'll be gone.
00:59:34This is King Ralph, Queen Christine, and their daughter, Princess Diana, of the Isle of Marwood.
00:59:43Um, it's very long to meet you.
00:59:46I'm so sorry about my squirtly parents.
00:59:49Oh, not at all.
00:59:49You've covered them working very hard.
00:59:51I do my best.
00:59:54Can you show us to the theatre?
00:59:57Miss Corinthians.
00:59:58Miss here, doing warm-up exercises, apparently.
01:00:03Ah, this way.
01:00:09Right, you get ready and then head over to the maze sage.
01:00:14Do you want me to tell you where it is?
01:00:16I know where it is.
01:00:18Oh.
01:00:21Well, good luck then.
01:00:26Oh.
01:00:27Sorry, I...
01:00:29I thought...
01:00:34Connie!
01:00:37Connie!
01:01:00What's going on?
01:01:03Come on, darling. We haven't got all day.
01:01:14What's the matter with you?
01:01:17We've been through Summer Night's Dream a hundred times.
01:01:21I'm so stressed.
01:01:23I've got so much going on here.
01:01:24I just can't remember anything.
01:01:27Can you remember anything?
01:01:33The passage form would be Romeo and Juliet.
01:01:38I need you to be my own king.
01:01:41Fine, fine.
01:01:44Fine.
01:01:55Romeo.
01:01:56Romeo.
01:02:01Romeo.
01:02:03Romeo.
01:02:07Romeo.
01:02:07Romeo.
01:02:08Can I, thou, will not, but be swung by love, can I no longer be a cabinet?
01:02:33What did I do?
01:02:35What did I do?
01:02:47Are you okay, your majesty?
01:02:49You see, it's silly, really. I just have bittersweet memories of that play. I was watching a performance of Romeo
01:02:58and Juliet when my water broke. Well, not very legal behavior on my part. I'll be back out in a
01:03:06second.
01:03:13I think we'll call it a dance performance. It was okay. I liked it, Quincy. But I think we've been
01:03:26better off with one of the other plays. Mother wasn't a fan.
01:03:31Well, I think it was a play she was watching while she was in labor.
01:03:38Oh, dear.
01:03:43Oh, my darling child. My little Juliet. I do wonder where you are.
01:03:59Mother, are you okay?
01:04:02I'm sorry, my darling. I was being silly.
01:04:07Did you change already?
01:04:10I'm just going for you.
01:04:15Who's Juliet with her?
01:04:17Oh, it's out front. We can join you there.
01:04:33Yeah.
01:04:34Yeah.
01:04:36Yeah.
01:04:49Well, that's what Stacey said. Your mother's old cellmate.
01:04:54That's impossible.
01:04:55Is it, Gemma?
01:04:58We're twins.
01:04:59I mean, I know she messed up.
01:05:02But I just can't imagine her stealing a baby.
01:05:13Only me.
01:05:15Sorry.
01:05:16His Majesty wants his golf cardigan.
01:05:19We simply can't play without it, apparently.
01:05:22Who'd have thought Stacey would have been so important, eh?
01:05:35Oh, my.
01:05:39Oh, my.
01:06:08Oh, are you okay, Connie?
01:06:10Carinthia?
01:06:12Yeah, that's me.
01:06:19Gemma.
01:06:28So it was you this past week. I knew something was different.
01:06:36You're the bitter drinker.
01:06:38Bitter.
01:06:42That's not important.
01:06:50I'll let Gemma explain. It's all got rather complicated.
01:06:54This had better be good.
01:07:00Your devious mother sublet of this place, we don't even know on it.
01:07:04I met Carinthia when you checked in.
01:07:06I mean, it was obvious we were related and we just wanted to know the truth.
01:07:10But you swapped places.
01:07:15You know what I'm saying?
01:07:17You know what I'm saying?
01:07:41You know what I'm saying?
01:08:20You know what I'm saying?
01:08:27You know what I'm saying?
01:08:37You know what it means between us, dog.
01:08:41Us.
01:08:44I like you.
01:08:46I really like you.
01:08:51I like you.
01:08:51I like you.
01:08:52I like you.
01:09:15I like you.
01:09:16This will take some explaining to do.
01:09:18To my employers.
01:09:41Juliette.
01:09:42What are you doing in my room?
01:09:45How could you?
01:09:47What?
01:09:48That's nothing.
01:09:49Why did you lie to me, Tracy?
01:09:52How did you find out?
01:09:55Well, it turns out I met my twin sister, the bonafide princess,
01:10:00when my real family checked into the holiday cottage.
01:10:03Royals.
01:10:05I knew they were rich, but royals.
01:10:08I've got an idea. You're coming with me to the cottage.
01:10:11I'm not. We're going to the police.
01:10:13Oh, don't test me.
01:10:15After all, you're not my daughter, are you?
01:10:20Now, come on!
01:10:22Good afternoon!
01:10:22Oh!
01:10:24Good afternoon!
01:10:28Pussed creams? Are you sure?
01:10:33Live a little.
01:10:38There's no other way to say it no more, Daddy.
01:10:42You've not brought Shane on the farm without you.
01:10:46No. But I have a confession to make. Over the past week, it hasn't been me.
01:10:56So, girl, you were here this morning, weren't you?
01:10:59It wasn't me.
01:11:01She might have started her experimental phase, darling.
01:11:06What have you taken, Carinthia?
01:11:11I'm not high.
01:11:14Let me shed some light.
01:11:17It couldn't be. My Juliet, it must be you.
01:11:22Not so fast, Queenie. Stay there.
01:11:26Who are you?
01:11:27I'm her mother.
01:11:29You're not!
01:11:30I raise you, you ungrateful cowl!
01:11:34Oi! You! Here!
01:11:36Come on, Princess. Sit down.
01:11:40What in heavens is happening, Mummy?
01:11:53Get me the police. Now!
01:11:57You're taking this terrible heart, Jasey. Stop it. It's too late.
01:12:01I ain't going anywhere without some royal treasure.
01:12:04Oh, sure. We've got the crown jewels in our suitcase.
01:12:07Don't try and fool me, King Moron.
01:12:10You wouldn't go anywhere without thousands of quid's worth of valuables on you.
01:12:14I bet Queenie doesn't leave the house without some diamonds on her person.
01:12:18So hand it over. This family reunion is going to be short-lived.
01:12:23I've got time. Treasure. Jewels. Valuables. Now!
01:12:29I have nothing.
01:12:31Oh, come on. Otherwise Gemma or Juliet or whatever her bleeding name is.
01:12:35Now she's going to get it.
01:12:37What's about a bank transfer?
01:12:40Good idea. I like you, Princess.
01:12:43I want a million quid. Now!
01:12:49For God's sake, Daddy, just let me.
01:12:52Hey, hey!
01:12:52It'll be quicker if I do it.
01:12:54Fine. Get on with it.
01:12:58What's your account number?
01:13:10What's your account number?
01:13:12Hey!
01:13:13Come on, Mummy!
01:13:18Good thing we had that year learning from Grandmaster Takashi, hey?
01:13:30We're arresting you on suspicion of theft, handling and distribution of stolen goods, blackmail, kidnapping, attempted assault, attempted murder, and
01:13:38let's see what else.
01:13:41Fraud.
01:13:42Yeah, fraud. You didn't have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you fail to mention one
01:13:47question and you think that you'll later alarm in court.
01:13:50I treated you all right, didn't I?
01:13:52We had some good times, didn't we?
01:13:58What possessed you to switch places with your sister?
01:14:03I just needed a break, Daddy.
01:14:06We can't keep living by all these rules and restrictions.
01:14:09It's almost like you don't trust us to live the lives we've always wished without being able to hold the
01:14:15family name.
01:14:16I'm sorry, Cointia.
01:14:19I'm sorry it puts so much pressure on you and I.
01:14:23My father did the same with us.
01:14:27It's heavy weight of the crown.
01:14:31But we have to evolve with the times.
01:14:34I mean, some of the traditions are just so archaic.
01:14:37I have to fly to Switzerland next week and perform Shakespeare.
01:14:41Listen, Cointia, really.
01:14:43You don't have to go.
01:14:46No, Daddy, I'll go.
01:14:47But...
01:14:50I have a better idea.
01:14:52His lordship.
01:14:54He loves Chopin, right?
01:14:56Yes.
01:14:59Well, maybe...
01:15:00I could play the piano for him instead.
01:15:06OK.
01:15:07OK.
01:15:10I knew something didn't make sense this last week.
01:15:13Winfrey was rarely that nice to me.
01:15:15I think perhaps this family all need to be a bit more open and respectful with each other.
01:15:20So, what should we call you now, sis?
01:15:23Gemma or Juliet?
01:15:25Well, I'll make us all a brew and then I'll just decide.
01:15:29I mean, I like Gemma, but I really like Juliet.
01:15:32And I guess...
01:15:34I know why not.
01:15:35I know.
01:15:36Why not?
01:15:44We've got something to tell you all.
01:15:54How much?
01:16:08What about you?
01:16:08Why not?
01:16:10I don't know why not?
01:16:10What about you?
01:16:13I believe in the grave.
01:16:13So, what?
01:16:14Why not?
01:16:19I think I should be happy.
01:16:19You're happy.
01:16:35I told you. I'm not Gem.
01:16:41Not this again.
01:16:48She's telling true of me, Ed.
01:16:54What? Do I think... I've...
01:17:00Wiles, for the past week, I feel your head over here is in love with you.
01:17:07Gems, I didn't know anything about this. I'm sorry.
01:17:11Yet and all. But go on, big boy. You have me a blessing.
01:17:20The question is...
01:17:24Does your previous officer stand?
01:17:27Good night.
01:17:37Well, funnily enough, I kept it on me just in case.
01:17:41What?
01:17:49I'll see you.
01:17:55I'll see you soon.
01:17:58I'll see you soon...
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