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00:01:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:59My name is Wayne
00:02:03Wayne Carpenter
00:02:06I live on Wild Horse Road, Pocatello, Idaho
00:02:10I'm a high school English teacher
00:02:13We'll say he was a bank manager
00:02:19I'm a bank manager
00:02:22No!
00:02:23An English teacher
00:02:25Actually, he was an auto mechanic
00:02:32An auto mechanic?
00:02:36John knew what he had to do
00:03:06This is what he had to do
00:03:32The desperate man burns
00:03:36Yes!
00:03:36Yes!
00:03:38Yes!
00:05:56Oh, shit! Cody! You scared me.
00:05:59What took you so long?
00:06:00Did you go up yet?
00:06:01I was waiting for his majesty, the great Grant Beverly.
00:06:04We don't say. Well, um, shall we?
00:06:11Inversion best practices, please.
00:06:13Oh, shit.
00:06:14There you go. Fucking climate change.
00:06:17Can you believe it's supposed to snow later?
00:06:19Which unit is she in? A? C?
00:06:22She's in unit B. Weird that you would say A and then go straight to C.
00:06:27Yeah? What are you trying to say?
00:06:31Nothing. I just think it's interesting.
00:06:34I've got to hand it to you. I think it's pretty cool how you and Wilda have managed to stay
00:06:37friends like this, Beverly.
00:06:38Well, I've heard maintaining long-term friendships is important.
00:06:42I don't know why, but that's what they say.
00:06:44Tell me about it. You know that I've never been dumped.
00:06:47But if I had, I definitely wouldn't be as chill about it as you and Wilda have.
00:06:50Wilda didn't dump me. It was a mutual parting of ways.
00:06:52Hmm. Yeah, I keep forgetting that.
00:06:55It's probably because people who say that are full of shit.
00:07:02Yay! Cody, you made it!
00:07:05It's okay.
00:07:06Hey, Grant.
00:07:07Hey. Hey.
00:07:08Hey.
00:07:13I'm so glad we're still going on this trip together.
00:07:15Yeah. I haven't been to Arches in, like, forever.
00:07:17They took us down there for an overnight in middle school.
00:07:19That may have been the last time.
00:07:21They drove you rich brats all the way down there from Park City?
00:07:23Uh, best practice, Wilda?
00:07:25Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was just inside.
00:07:29Put yours on.
00:07:30No. Yeah.
00:07:31No.
00:07:32Do you guys remember the last time there was inversion so bad we actually had to leave town like this?
00:07:36Like, jeez.
00:07:37We'll be okay.
00:07:38The open desert is our best bet to avoid the poison air until the cold weather can get back on
00:07:43top of the hot weather.
00:07:44This is, of course, assuming that there is enough file crust left down there to keep the sand from swirling
00:07:50around like it's a fucking dust bowl.
00:07:52I don't understand what the big deal is. I mean, inversions happen, like, five times a year.
00:07:57Yeah, but this is one of the ones that happens five times a year. Only once every 30 years.
00:08:01No, 27 years is what I read.
00:08:03Where'd you read that?
00:08:05On a website.
00:08:06And remind me why we're not just going up to the lake with everyone else.
00:08:10You know, Mel Franke and Vanessa said it's like spring break up there right now.
00:08:13Oh.
00:08:14It's because you don't know shit about how the world works, Beverly.
00:08:16Once the inversion breaks and the air shifts north, that Bear Lake air is going to be like 30%
00:08:21copper fracking jizz from...
00:08:23No! No more climate change talk on this trip, Cody. It freaks me out, okay? The inversion's bad enough.
00:08:28Yeah. It's like a mini Chernobyl fantasy camp weekend or something.
00:08:32Hey, it is not my fault that our polygamist UFO cult forefathers built this city in the Low Valley under
00:08:38what is the meteorological equivalent of the Bermuda fucking triangle.
00:08:47Did you get gas?
00:08:48Yeah, I got gas.
00:08:49Hey, why'd you park so far away?
00:08:52Hey, don't worry, Grant. The desert will be fun. We can pretend you're on the Star Wars planet.
00:08:58Which Star Wars planet?
00:09:00Guessing you probably mean either Tatooine or Jakku.
00:09:03No, it's the sandworm one. What is that called? Dune?
00:09:06Huh. That's aracus and that's not even Star Wars.
00:09:10Jesus, Guilda. I promise. You do not want to get Beverly started on his George Lucas bullshit.
00:09:16I think Grant's kind of cute when he goes on his little rants about ass prick ratios or whatever.
00:09:20Aspect ratios.
00:09:22That's what I said. Ass prick ratios. God, you learned so much dating a film major for three years.
00:09:27Yeah, that sounds cool. If you like low T beta cucks and not super masculine conscientiously progressive environmental studies majors.
00:09:36Wow, I can already tell this trip is gonna be intense. Get it? In tense?
00:09:42Oh, no. No, I'm declaring this evacuation slash weekend getaway a pun free zone.
00:09:49What? No. Boo. Boo him, Cody. Boo. Beverly fucking sucks.
00:09:55What is this piece of shit? Careful. That's vintage.
00:09:59Yeah. Well, what is it? Nothing.
00:10:00My folks had to get rid of a bunch of stuff when they downsized to the condo.
00:10:04There was a bunch of cool old TV equipment for my granddad's Channel 2 days.
00:10:07Yeah? Doesn't even work?
00:10:08There's no tape in it.
00:10:09No, let me see.
00:10:13Whoa.
00:10:15Do you think your grandparents ever used this to make a sexual tape?
00:10:19Ugh, no. Do not make me think about old people fucking.
00:10:23Why not? Grant's grandma is hot.
00:10:24And Peapaw? He's like a legit Salt Lake 8. They did not let Elgos on TV in the Reagan era.
00:10:30Wait. No, you're wrong. There's a tape in here.
00:10:33Don't mess with it.
00:10:34It looks like we can play it back. Do you want to see what's on it?
00:10:37Don't!
00:10:38Why not, Beverly? What are we gonna find on here?
00:10:41Well, he's just worried because it's fragile.
00:10:44Well, if it's so fragile, then why are we taking it to the desert?
00:10:48Well, I was gonna bring this up later, but do you guys remember the 24-hour film thing I sent
00:10:53you?
00:10:54No. No. We are not doing homework on this weekend, okay?
00:10:58This trip is about two things and two things only.
00:11:01One, to practice being climate refugees, which we will all be in a few years.
00:11:05And two, getting rat shit fucking hammered in the desert.
00:11:10But it's not for class. It's for an analog media short film festival.
00:11:14A really cool one, actually, out of Seattle.
00:11:17Ooh, cool.
00:11:19Super cool.
00:11:20Hey, um, if you think for one second that we're going to lug that thing all the way to Delicate
00:11:24Arch, you're dead wrong.
00:11:26Oh, and, uh, did you remind your cousin that I was not kidding about bringing his son to me?
00:11:31Yeah.
00:11:33Though, hopefully they didn't think it was code for, like, angel dust or something.
00:11:47Bird! My furgy-wurgy!
00:11:51Well done! What up, cuz?
00:11:53Stop!
00:11:55Don't tell me that whole cooler is full of booze and drugs.
00:11:59Oh, it is. This whole cooler is full of booze and drugs.
00:12:03Hey, the inversion's coming down pretty hard. Don't get any in your eyes.
00:12:06Is this how fucked up are you planning on getting down there?
00:12:08Oh, can you hear me, dude?
00:12:13Oh, I am mad.
00:12:23Out of the way!
00:12:27What's that?
00:12:29Fucked up, right?
00:12:30So, Grant's Meemaw and people use this to make porn parodies of CBS Sunday morning.
00:12:35Oh, really? That's cruel as hell, dude.
00:12:37Oh, my God.
00:12:37Have you ever seen that show? All the anchors look like they're fucking melting.
00:12:41Okay!
00:12:44Careful, it's vintage.
00:12:50These influencer bitches get, like, free everything.
00:12:52I really need some sort of marketable social media gimmick.
00:12:57Like what?
00:12:58I don't know.
00:12:59Like, what about wellness?
00:13:02But, like, like, spooky.
00:13:05Spooky wellness?
00:13:06Yeah, like, put this yogurt in your pussy hole.
00:13:09Uh, uh, uh.
00:13:11People love Halloween and people love wellness.
00:13:15Oh!
00:13:17What do you think of the name Creepy?
00:13:32Fucking social media.
00:13:34I hate our fucking generation.
00:13:36We are so detached from, like, reality and ecology and shit.
00:13:40I mean, fuck us.
00:13:41We suck.
00:13:43Yeah, but, like, dude.
00:13:45I mean, what if there was no reality to be attached to?
00:13:49Yeah, it's pretty arrogant to assume that any of this is actually happening.
00:13:53Or has or will ever happen, you know?
00:13:57I obviously consider myself something of an expert on transitory states of being and yo.
00:14:04I mean, a keen spiritual adapt might actually have the ability to vent time in space.
00:14:23Oh, shit, dude.
00:14:25What the fuck?
00:14:25Beverly?
00:14:27Was there a deer or something?
00:14:29What?
00:14:29Beverly the deer?
00:14:30Did you guys feel that?
00:14:31Feel what?
00:14:33It just changed.
00:14:36What changed?
00:14:38I don't know.
00:14:40The road?
00:14:41The light?
00:14:42Everything.
00:14:44How long have we been driving for?
00:14:47Like, a couple of hours.
00:14:49Are you okay to drive, dude? Like, maybe I should drive?
00:14:51No.
00:14:53Uh, yeah, sure.
00:14:54Maybe, yeah.
00:14:55Yeah.
00:14:56Oh, okay.
00:14:57I'm coming.
00:15:00Just go.
00:15:00Okay, let me get out first.
00:15:22Watered it?
00:15:23I'm fine.
00:15:25I guess if you need a second...
00:15:26I'm fine.
00:15:30Grant, why don't you grab your camera?
00:15:32We should be taping this for posterity.
00:15:35Oh.
00:15:36Uh, yeah.
00:15:37Okay.
00:15:38Uh, well, I guess...
00:15:41Like...
00:15:42Ferg, what are your plans for this trip?
00:15:46I've been on paper to escape the inversion.
00:15:49But if I'm being honest, my true objective is to seize the time to further develop my own proprietary set
00:15:55of theosophical studies.
00:15:58Which, for now, I'm calling Bay's Perception.
00:16:01And let me guess, does this research involve the use of controlled substances?
00:16:05I mean, now that you mention it, yeah, I did talk with you holy theosophical tools.
00:16:09I just don't understand why we're not going to the lake.
00:16:12I mean, Vanessa, Frankie, and Mel said it's like spring break up there.
00:16:15That's what they told me.
00:16:16I have said a million times why we are going to the desert.
00:16:19Yeah, but dude!
00:16:21I mean, we could be chilling with, like, the hottest people under 30 in the Salt Lake Valley.
00:16:25Not shit fuck alone in the middle of nowhere with you two fuckos and the one token female.
00:16:30What? I don't even get a name now?
00:16:32Okay, you get two names. That's Ferg's cousin and Grant's ex-girlfriend.
00:16:37Alright, why don't you face-perceive my fist as I shove it up your ass and pull out your piss
00:16:42plumbing?
00:16:44Dude, Grant, your woman just threatened to fist me to death.
00:16:47Sorry, pal. She's not my problem anymore.
00:16:50Woohoo!
00:16:52True.
00:16:53Plus, there's some soil samples I need to get up at the arches anyways.
00:16:57Oh.
00:16:59I thought you said no homework.
00:17:00It's not homework.
00:17:03It's for a personal project that I'm working on.
00:17:06Like how my analog shorts thing isn't homework either?
00:17:09Wait, what's he talking about?
00:17:10Grant wants to make the movie.
00:17:12How fun!
00:17:13Wait, is this gonna be like the one where Cody was in the bathtub with all the fake blood?
00:17:17Hopefully not.
00:17:18Otherwise, you'll have this stressed out motherfucker yelling at you for even daring to breathe.
00:17:23You were supposed to be a corpse.
00:17:25And you just kept making will to just repeat her line over and over and over again.
00:17:30Oh my god, Kevin, why did you do this?
00:17:33Why did you do this?
00:17:35To me.
00:17:36Kevin!
00:17:38You guys remember when Fred almost knocked over the friggin' light?
00:17:41Grant forgot to put the other sandbag on it.
00:17:43It was an LED light.
00:17:45You wouldn't have been electrocuted.
00:17:46Probably.
00:17:47Oh my god, Kevin!
00:17:49Why did you do this?
00:17:51Why did you do this?
00:17:53To me!
00:17:54Kevin!
00:17:57Oh my god, Kevin!
00:17:59Oh my god, Kevin!
00:18:00And why?
00:18:04Come on Grant, don't sulk.
00:18:06I liked that video.
00:18:07It was actually really good.
00:18:08It would have been even better if y'all just listened to me instead of constantly bitching
00:18:12and goofing off.
00:18:14Oh boy.
00:18:15Hey Grant, look at me.
00:18:17Look at me.
00:18:19Hey, trust me.
00:18:20This trip is gonna be fun.
00:18:46Oh my god, what's wrong?
00:18:49Where are we?
00:18:50What do you mean?
00:18:51We just ate.
00:18:52Seriously, are you feeling okay?
00:18:54I'm fine.
00:18:55Sorry, I just...
00:18:57I'm a little dizzy, I guess.
00:18:59Oh, hey.
00:19:02I mean, here, take these.
00:19:03Um, I don't know if that's a good idea.
00:19:05What are they?
00:19:06Oh, don't worry about it, dude.
00:19:07We just gotta get your ore going back to stasis.
00:19:09Maybe I should just take one.
00:19:11Yeah.
00:19:12Cause Beverly is such a drug milk sock that you'd probably kill him.
00:19:15Stop calling me Beverly.
00:19:17Fern, tell this asshole how fucked up all his gendered name calling shit is.
00:19:20Wait, why is that my job?
00:19:25Grant, don't do...
00:19:26Yeah, dude.
00:19:26That is what I'm fucking talking about.
00:19:29Could be a real problem.
00:19:30No, no, no, no.
00:19:31Don't worry about it.
00:19:32I mean, if he starts to freak out, I'll just gag him with one of these choppy boys
00:19:35and make him barf these shits right.
00:19:36Careful.
00:19:37You're gonna just grab my eyes out with that thing.
00:19:41Come on.
00:19:42It's getting late.
00:19:43We should go.
00:19:51Wait.
00:19:57We linger for a breath to remember exactly what this moment looked like.
00:20:06Read it.
00:20:09The four happy campers pull out of their spot and disappear.
00:20:1421.
00:20:1521.
00:20:1631.
00:20:19Out of frame.
00:20:36I don't see anyone.
00:20:37Shouldn't there be, like, a sticker?
00:20:39Or a slip of paper or something?
00:20:41Forget about it.
00:20:43Just go in.
00:20:45All right.
00:20:56Guys, it literally says no camping.
00:21:02Okay, fine.
00:21:03We'll go past the sign that says no camping.
00:21:19A 43-year-old school teacher from Pocatello, Idaho, who has now been missing since Thursday evening.
00:21:24Authorities are baffled by...
00:21:26God, this is so creepy.
00:21:28Well, like you said, everybody went to the lake.
00:21:30Yeah, but still, there should be someone else here, right?
00:21:32Well, it doesn't really matter, because we're going off the grid.
00:21:35Back to nature.
00:21:36This is sick.
00:21:37I mean, we can literally do whatever we want out here.
00:21:40Woo!
00:21:41The desert is ours!
00:21:43Don't do it, Kevin.
00:21:44You have so much to live for.
00:21:48Hey, wake up, Grant.
00:22:17Um, why are there only two tents?
00:22:20Oh, I didn't bring one.
00:22:22I was just going to sleep out under the stars and vibe with the fauna like a fucking G-dude!
00:22:29Uh...
00:22:29Oh.
00:22:31Whoops!
00:22:32I think I accidentally brought two sleeping bags and no titch.
00:22:36Great.
00:22:37So what's the plan, then?
00:22:39Well...
00:22:41Whatever you two geeks decide, we best get situated before nightfall.
00:22:50I mean, my tent's pretty big.
00:22:52And it's not like we haven't, you know...
00:22:53I don't think that's a good idea.
00:22:56No, yeah.
00:22:56Totally.
00:22:57Totally.
00:22:57We agreed we wanted to keep things cool between us.
00:23:00With simple, clear boundaries.
00:23:02Right?
00:23:05Totally.
00:23:06Totally.
00:23:07Totally.
00:23:08Well, you take the tent, then.
00:23:10I'll just sleep in the back of the truck.
00:23:11Oh, no.
00:23:12I'll take the car.
00:23:12It's cool.
00:23:14Suit yourself.
00:23:16Okay.
00:23:17Um, and I'm totally gonna fill it with griefs and farts.
00:23:22Okay.
00:23:23Great.
00:23:23Perfect.
00:23:25Uh, what's Ferg doing now?
00:23:33Yeah, get the...
00:23:35Must run in the family.
00:23:38It does, actually.
00:23:40It's kind of a serious medical condition that needs more awareness.
00:23:43So, spread the word.
00:24:09What did you see up there?
00:24:11Uh, miles and miles of fuck nothing.
00:24:14So, dude, like, what's going on with you and Cody lately?
00:24:18You know, it's a real bummer seeing you guys be such dicks to each other.
00:24:21I don't know what you're talking about.
00:24:22I mean, I don't like this version of you guys.
00:24:24I...
00:24:24You know, I like the version that calls in fucking bomb threats on the Ogden Valley Church Ball League, dude.
00:24:30Oh, yeah, that was...
00:24:31That was just to get some SWAT team B-roll for a class project.
00:24:34Oh, yeah?
00:24:35Got an A on that project, too.
00:24:36See?
00:24:37You guys are legendary.
00:25:01And so it turns out that the woman that we thought was being chased by all these mindless cell phone
00:25:07zombies...
00:25:07Is actually...
00:25:08A child killer whose mind is being erased each day just to torture her?
00:25:12Well, fuck!
00:25:14If you guys knew the whole story, then why'd you let me sit here and go on and on like
00:25:17an asshole?
00:25:18Well, to be fair, I don't know if telling the plot of an old Black Mirror episode really counts as
00:25:22a ghost story.
00:25:22Apparently, I am not allowed to talk about what's actually scary, like, oh, I don't know, the fact that we
00:25:28won't have any potable water on the planet by the year 2040.
00:25:32And what about Ferg?
00:25:33All they did was read the Wikipedia article for the Slenderman killings, word for word.
00:25:38You don't think that shit's scary?
00:25:40Mm-mm.
00:25:41Must be nice.
00:25:43Nah, I'm serious.
00:25:44I mean, that's a textbook example of magical thinking IRL.
00:25:47Of pulling a constructed image and making it manifest into our reality life.
00:25:51Please.
00:25:52No.
00:25:53I can't.
00:25:55You're up, Wilda.
00:25:57What?
00:25:57Oh, I don't know any ghost stories.
00:25:59Come on, you gotta tell us one, even if it's south.
00:26:02Seriously, I don't know any.
00:26:03You should tell them about how you grew up next door to a serial killer.
00:26:07You're such a dick, Grant.
00:26:09What?
00:26:10Why?
00:26:10No, I didn't know that.
00:26:11Honestly, it's like the single most interesting thing about you.
00:26:16It's not even, like, a story, okay?
00:26:18It's just a fact.
00:26:23Okay, so my family lived in Brigham City for a couple years when I was growing up.
00:26:28And the guy who lived in the house next to us, I guess he, like, killed a couple people.
00:26:35But, like, not even in the house we lived by.
00:26:37Richard Cruz Debussy.
00:26:40He was legit.
00:26:41Last podcast even did an episode on him.
00:26:43Look it up, Fer.
00:26:45Okay.
00:26:49I got it.
00:26:50Richard Cruz Debussy, a.k.a. The Loop Slayer, was an American serial killer active in Nevada and Western Utah
00:26:59from-
00:26:59Holy shit, dude. I remember this. He escaped from prison, right?
00:27:03Yeah, a week before he was supposed to go in front of the firing squad, too.
00:27:06They never caught him, either.
00:27:07You never caught him?
00:27:10He was already really old, though. There's no way he's alive now.
00:27:14What makes you such a fucking expert?
00:27:16It was big news.
00:27:17And my grandpa, he won the Rocky Mountain Pulitzer for reporting on the trial, right before he retired from Channel
00:27:222.
00:27:22Guys, this isn't, like, fun for me, okay? I can see this guy in my memory.
00:27:27He had these big glasses, weird mustache.
00:27:31I always wore this big green hunting jacket in the middle of winter.
00:27:36He'd wave at us from his mailbox while we were playing outside.
00:27:44It's weird. I don't know. It's like creepy flashbacks from some shitty horror movie.
00:27:50Interesting.
00:27:52What if they are?
00:27:53What?
00:27:54What if they are just bad horror movie flashbacks?
00:27:57I don't know. I don't understand.
00:27:59Okay, like this. Right now.
00:28:02What if we're actually in a horror movie?
00:28:06Four annoying college kids, alone in the desert, just waiting to get picked off one by one.
00:28:11Don't you think it's a little convenient that we're the only ones out here?
00:28:15Grant, don't.
00:28:16You know how tweaked out fur gets with all that Philip K. Dick questioning the nature of reality shit?
00:28:21I mean, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Phase perception.
00:28:26A million different things could show up and kill us at any moment.
00:28:30Like a horde of irradiated zombies.
00:28:33You know, central Utah is where like 90% of America's toxic waste is stored, right?
00:28:37Jesus, fuck no.
00:28:39Or aliens. I mean, Area 51 is not too far from here.
00:28:43Oh man. Fucking aliens. You know those guys fucking love the desert.
00:28:47Guys, can we not?
00:28:49No, Wilda's right. The Four Corners are a legendary UFO hotspot. Why do you think all these satanic biker cults
00:28:55like it around here so much?
00:28:57Ah, satanic biker cults, huh? Why?
00:29:01Jesus Christ. You guys are the biggest group of fucking idiot nerds on the planet.
00:29:05Actually, I'm the stock geek protagonist. You're the alpha jerk bully. Ferg is the stoner comic relief.
00:29:15And Wilda. Wilda is the girl.
00:29:24I am not just the girl.
00:29:26That's exactly what that kind of underwritten female character might say.
00:29:29I'm not just the girl. That's classic.
00:29:32Let me guess the twist ending. You go around and cut each of our heads off, huh?
00:29:38No. That would be hack.
00:29:41What's that dick donut for?
00:29:45This is reflective tape. I'm gonna use it to mark off our campsite before it lights out.
00:29:50Make sure no wild animals enter there.
00:29:51What are you scared?
00:29:53It's not for our protection. It's for theirs.
00:30:00Let's call it.
00:30:03We've got a big hike tomorrow.
00:30:06Okay.
00:30:09Good night.
00:30:11Good night.
00:30:12Good night.
00:30:13Good night.
00:30:17So we're still just keeping things cool?
00:30:21Yeah.
00:30:23It's simple, clear boundaries.
00:30:53It's a big, big walk in.
00:30:54No God.
00:30:54I'm gonna get to the outside.
00:30:55No.
00:30:55No.
00:30:55No.
00:30:57No.
00:32:27A little jump scare might wake you up.
00:32:29I know how much you love him.
00:32:31Who else is hungover?
00:32:33The trick is to stay hydrated.
00:32:35I like your pants, Berg.
00:32:36Well, thank you.
00:32:37These are my shark shorts.
00:32:39An unholy sigil to give me shark powers for a hike today.
00:32:42Sick.
00:32:42All right.
00:32:43Who's ready to see this fucking arch?
00:32:45Perfect.
00:32:46Everybody brought hiking boots, I hope.
00:32:49You don't wear those fucking shorts, are you?
00:32:58Wilda and the very happy campers crested the switchback into view.
00:33:04Breathing heavily, reeking terribly.
00:33:07Secreting from their pores the foulest melon remnants of last night's booze and drugs.
00:33:12An olfactory salute to the fearless living.
00:33:16Bottle of wine in Wilda's backpack.
00:33:19Certainly wasn't grown any less heavy as Cody's ceaseless death march to delicate arch continued.
00:33:25Are you seriously planning on doing the whole hike in that weird voice?
00:33:28Because it's super annoying.
00:33:28Said Cody, all the while silently contemplating his tiny little cock and balls.
00:33:33I have.
00:33:35To rest.
00:33:36We've already stopped like ten times.
00:33:38Oh, come on.
00:33:40Let's take a break.
00:33:41Wilda never sweat so much in all her goddamn life.
00:33:44And for the first time since arriving in the desert, her buzz was completely gone.
00:33:48This made Wilda very sad.
00:33:50Oh, don't worry, guys.
00:33:51I'll carry you the rest of the way.
00:33:53Be careful.
00:33:54Be careful.
00:33:55Okay, put me down, put me down.
00:33:57Hey, you know what?
00:33:58I wanted to wait until we got to the arch, but I kind of think if we take these now,
00:34:01we might be able to time our peak to hit right when we get to the bull up top.
00:34:04Why? You brought mushrooms?
00:34:05Yes.
00:34:06Of course I brought mushrooms.
00:34:07I'm the lovable stoner, right?
00:34:09Well, lovable wasn't necessarily part of your character description.
00:34:12Do we seriously have to do this?
00:34:14This is just going to slow us down.
00:34:16You need to chill out, dude, or else we're all in a fucking mutant need.
00:34:22Fine.
00:34:24I could shut you up.
00:34:27Hey, you ever tried mushrooms?
00:34:29No, I don't like mushrooms.
00:34:30Yeah, well, they're not, like, on a fucking pizza, dude.
00:34:32You're going to start partying, like, now, or else you're going to turn into a fucking pumpkin like you did
00:34:36yesterday.
00:34:38Come on.
00:34:43Fine.
00:34:44Fuck.
00:34:45Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's way too many.
00:34:48Dude.
00:34:49Oh, my God.
00:34:50They're like those Harry Potter jelly beans that taste like farts and boogers.
00:34:53Come on, Cody's right.
00:34:54We should try to make it to the arch before shit starts to get weird.
00:34:57Said Wilder, graciously offering to lead the way.
00:35:03Oh, there.
00:35:22You're doing a story of my ass.
00:35:24I'll fucking kill you.
00:35:25Gross, I would never.
00:35:26No, it's particularly fucked up since you two are blood-related.
00:35:29No, the incest happening is just a fucking bougie cell to construct, dude.
00:35:32No, it exists to help strengthen the genetic diversity of the herd, man.
00:35:36Whatever.
00:35:37Hey, how are you doing back there, Grant?
00:35:39Hey, Ferg, be careful walking backwards.
00:35:41I'm good.
00:35:41No, be careful, Grant.
00:35:42I said I'm good.
00:35:43Oh!
00:35:43There you go.
00:35:45Oh.
00:35:46Oh.
00:35:47Oh.
00:35:47Oh.
00:35:52Oh.
00:36:06Oh, you're pretending to be confused.
00:36:26My point is, if aliens do exist, why do we always assume that they would want to try
00:36:31and contact us humans?
00:36:32So what are you saying, then?
00:36:34That they'd rather toxic computers?
00:36:36Whales?
00:36:37Try fucking coral reefs, dude.
00:36:38If you look at the Earth from outer space, it's like mostly fucking water, dude.
00:36:43You sound like Cody.
00:36:45Hey.
00:36:45And I mean, who's to say that the extraterrestrials wouldn't be aquatic themselves?
00:36:49Like, like Edgret the Guild Navigator, right, Grant?
00:36:51Ha ha!
00:36:54So wait, you think that that means coral?
00:36:57It depends.
00:36:58If their brains are just one big jelly muscle like ours, or if it's spread out across their
00:37:04whole nervous system, is he?
00:37:06I think Grant's gonna puke.
00:37:32You know, Fergie is right about one thing.
00:37:35The people's relationship to their environment shapes what they value and how they interpret
00:37:41the world around them.
00:37:43Guys, should we be worried about Grant?
00:37:44He looks not, uh, great.
00:37:47I read this article about a commencement speech a few years ago, right?
00:37:50And it was about these two adolescent fish, and they're swimming through a river, minding
00:37:55their own business.
00:37:56And, and this, uh, this older fish, he comes up to them and he says, how's the water, boys?
00:38:04And he swims away.
00:38:06And, and these two adolescent fish, they turn.
00:38:09They turn to each other.
00:38:11They look each other in the eyes and they say, what the hell is water?
00:38:15I'm not.
00:38:22I'm not.
00:38:23You're not.
00:38:24I'm not.
00:38:25I'm not.
00:38:25I'm not.
00:38:26I'm not.
00:38:28I'm not.
00:38:29I'm not.
00:38:30I'm not.
00:38:30Did you hear that?
00:38:32It was, it was a woman.
00:38:34She said, once again, Grant has his back turned staring off into nothing with, with two
00:38:41eyes made up of drooling, drugged mouths.
00:38:44that was it word for word it was wilder no it wasn't me
00:38:58yeah like immersive theater there was this installation in Spain it was like a
00:39:03pop-up house party thing basically and where are we like a normal party food
00:39:11drinks DJ playing super fast EDM lots and lots of people and you still like hang out in that room
00:39:18for a while and then you get like kind of pushed into an even like a slightly smaller room where
00:39:25there's less food not as much to drink and the music is like slower more sparse and minimalistic
00:39:33and then like without even freaking noticing you're like in an even smaller room and then
00:39:40weird shit are those presents
00:39:53and still suddenly you were in a closet all by yourself holding a hand mirror with a note
00:39:59written in sharpie across the glass coco para deru
00:40:06what's that mean I think it means leave through here in Japanese or get out of here
00:40:16uh before we get back to civilization I'm gonna need you to delete anything that could end up on some
00:40:20creepy jack off reddit chill out I'm just playing around with some new filters yo can I see you yeah
00:40:27did you guys ever see the movie midnight special there's this idea in it of another world built on
00:40:33top of our world jesus christ my man takes drugs one time and immediately becomes berg like it's just
00:40:40sitting there on top of our reality another world that our reality wears over itself like uh like an
00:40:49invisible ski parka or something does that make sense come on guys can we just get to this goddamn rock
00:40:56already these mushrooms have added like an hour to this thing watch your step right here watch your
00:41:11step right here don't mimic me please don't mimic me i'm not mimicking you i'm just repeating it
00:41:29i got it
00:41:38it's so beautiful out here
00:41:44we are at the halfway point of delicate arch yeah no dude we still gotta climb back down
00:41:53no delicate arch the movie
00:42:01this area is considered sacred by this region's indigenous people
00:42:08the pueblos the pueblos the hopis the the youth days the youths they thought that these arches were portals
00:42:16to another time and space essentially enter the dream world
00:42:39so
00:42:49so
00:42:51so
00:43:10The convergence in time and location of two great migrations.
00:43:38The convergence in time and location of two great migrations, which is the most important part of the world, which
00:43:50is the most important part of the world, which is the most important part of the world.
00:43:52Okay.
00:44:08Jump scare!
00:44:09Crap!
00:44:10I hate that.
00:44:12Jump scares are so cheap and stupid.
00:44:14Only because I made you shit your pants.
00:44:16A sudden burst of noise or motion promoting an involuntary physiological response
00:44:21isn't fear.
00:44:22It's just superficial animal instinct.
00:44:25Keep talking like a nerd.
00:44:26I'm gonna beat you up and take your fucking lunch money like a nerd too.
00:44:30Ouch!
00:44:35Hey, go grab the others.
00:44:37I think I have an idea for a movie.
00:45:01Be baby.
00:45:19Jer civil 기였습니다.
00:46:33Okay, and the hand reaches uselessly.
00:46:37It can't get the cigarettes.
00:46:39Continues to reach uselessly.
00:46:41Continues to reach.
00:46:43And...
00:46:44Cut!
00:46:48Oh my god!
00:46:50Hey, that was fun!
00:46:51Yeah, that was good.
00:46:54I don't think I get it, though, still.
00:46:56What is it, like, an addiction metaphor?
00:46:58Maybe.
00:46:59I don't know.
00:47:00It's mostly just the best idea I could think to do with what we have to work with.
00:47:03Well, it's not like you care, but I thought the whole thing was pretty meh.
00:47:06We could have chosen a more dynamic location, like the hot springs.
00:47:10No, I didn't write anything like that into this idea.
00:47:12What do you mean?
00:47:13You just came up with this idea, like, five seconds ago.
00:47:15No!
00:47:16If it's not motivated, and it's not in the frame, then it doesn't exist.
00:47:25But, I guess we could still do Ferg zombie thing instead.
00:47:28Yes!
00:47:29Uh, no.
00:47:29We're not cutting up our foreheads just for your video.
00:47:32Why not?
00:47:32Wrestlers do it all the time.
00:47:33Yeah, I'm down, I'm down!
00:47:36No!
00:48:04Hey, we need to talk.
00:48:07Yeah.
00:48:09Sure.
00:48:57Grant?
00:48:59Yeah?
00:49:01Uh, we need a favor.
00:49:03What is it?
00:49:04We were just wondering if we could use your car to go into town for just, like, an hour?
00:49:11What?
00:49:11Why?
00:49:12Turns out, this guy from my fluid mech intensive is down here, too.
00:49:15And he just texted me and told me that he's got a bunch of extra Molly, which he can hook
00:49:18us up with if we want to meet.
00:49:19Which we do.
00:49:21I don't know.
00:49:21I was kind of hoping maybe we would just chill out tonight.
00:49:24Me too.
00:49:25That's exactly what Molly is, Beverly.
00:49:27Chilling out.
00:49:30Okay.
00:49:32Fine.
00:49:32Let's all go.
00:49:33I'll drive.
00:49:35I'm afraid not.
00:49:36Fluid mech is only going to deal with somebody he knows.
00:49:40Alone.
00:49:42Why?
00:49:43Then why is Wilde going?
00:49:46Because...
00:49:48PGD.
00:49:49PGD.
00:49:50What?
00:49:51What's that?
00:49:52Pretty girl discount.
00:49:53Cody thinks Fluid Mech will give us, like, 20% off if we use my toothsome cutie pie smile to
00:49:59vex and beguile his base male instincts.
00:50:01Ew.
00:50:01No.
00:50:02That's so gross.
00:50:03No way.
00:50:04Please.
00:50:05Pretty pretty please.
00:50:11Okay, fine.
00:50:12Whatever.
00:50:12Just text me so I know everything goes okay.
00:50:14You got it, man.
00:50:17Thanks.
00:50:19I'm gonna go get my wallet.
00:50:20Thanks.
00:50:22Wilde, can I ask you something?
00:50:24Promise you won't get mad?
00:50:27Okay.
00:50:28Yeah, what is it?
00:50:30Well, like...
00:50:31What's going on between you two?
00:50:34You two who?
00:50:36You and Cody.
00:50:38Like, it's okay if you're hooking up.
00:50:39I'm not jealous.
00:50:40It just...
00:50:41It sucks that you'd hide something like that from me.
00:50:43Oh my god.
00:50:44Grant, can you give me more credit than that?
00:50:46I don't care.
00:50:47I'm not, like, obsessed or anything.
00:50:49It's just...
00:50:49It's kind of immature.
00:50:51Is all.
00:50:52Please don't start some weird drama.
00:50:53I'm not.
00:50:54You're the one sneaking around going off on your secret little Molly missions together.
00:50:58We talked about this for hours and hours.
00:51:00We talked.
00:51:01We laid all the ground rules.
00:51:03And I feel like you're doing it again.
00:51:05This fake shit.
00:51:06Trying to act all cool.
00:51:08I mean, come on.
00:51:09Just friends is what we talked about.
00:51:10And you promised me.
00:51:11We are friends.
00:51:11You promised me.
00:51:12I know what I promised.
00:51:13I know that I did.
00:51:14You were the one who wanted to break up with me.
00:51:15Remember?
00:51:16Well, what the fuck?
00:51:18Wilde, we both decided.
00:51:19No.
00:51:20No, I'm not gonna argue with the crazy person.
00:51:22Okay, stop.
00:51:22Okay, look.
00:51:23I'm the one that finally brought it up.
00:51:25But you were totally checked out of the relationship for months.
00:51:29That is not what I'm talking about.
00:51:30I'm talking about the creeping around.
00:51:32The following me.
00:51:33The watching me.
00:51:34I'm sorry.
00:51:35I just want to know what's up with you.
00:51:38That you're okay.
00:51:39You're my fucking friend.
00:51:41You know?
00:51:42Cody too.
00:51:55Whatever.
00:51:57Enjoy the truck.
00:52:00Fuck you.
00:52:15You okay, dude?
00:52:23I'm fine.
00:52:28Shit, man.
00:52:29I mean, this is roughneck.
00:52:31You know, this Dusty boy's our last brew dog.
00:52:33Hey, when are Cody and Wilde coming back with the re-up?
00:52:36I don't know.
00:52:40How long ago did they leave?
00:52:47Fuck.
00:52:49My battery's dead.
00:52:50You got a remote charger or something?
00:52:51Yeah, and the truck.
00:52:54My phone too.
00:52:56Oh, so what?
00:52:57We're phone-less?
00:52:58Fucking phone-less bitches, dude?
00:53:00Why aren't they back yet?
00:53:02Like, should we be worried?
00:53:06What, you think it was the zombies?
00:53:08Shut up.
00:53:10Or...
00:53:11Hey, maybe it was the aliens.
00:53:13Or fuck the apocalypse bikers, dude.
00:53:15Knock it off.
00:53:16Hey, like you said, we're near Skinwalker, right?
00:53:18Stop.
00:53:18Just be quiet.
00:53:21Or maybe...
00:53:22What if we unlocked something at the arch?
00:53:25You know, Cody said it was a portal.
00:53:27Shut up!
00:53:27Just shut the fuck up!
00:53:32I'm sorry, I just...
00:53:36I wanna know what's up with them.
00:53:38Like, what's taking them so goddamn long?
00:53:40We should try and calm down, okay?
00:53:44Got any ghost stories?
00:53:51No.
00:53:53I'm not really in the mood.
00:54:21I'm not really in the mood.
00:54:22Hello?
00:54:33Hello?
00:54:34Berg?
00:54:53Berg?
00:55:01Berg?
00:55:07Berg?
00:55:09Berg!?
00:55:11Berg!
00:55:14Berg?
00:55:16Berg!?
00:55:39Wait!
00:55:47No!
00:55:49No!
00:56:03Fern!
00:56:04Fern!
00:56:29Fern!
00:56:31Fern!
00:56:32Fern!
00:56:32Fern!
00:56:33Fern!
00:56:35Fern!
00:56:36Fern!
00:56:36Fern!
00:56:37Fern!
00:56:38Fern!
00:56:38Fern!
00:56:41Fern!
00:56:42Fern!
00:56:45Fern!
00:56:53Oh, my God.
00:57:40What the hell are you doing?
00:57:42I'm here.
00:57:43Stop shaking me.
00:57:44I'm here.
00:57:46What were you doing in my tent?
00:57:50Were you trying to take my camera?
00:57:51No, you weren't here.
00:57:52You were not here.
00:57:54I think I passed out.
00:57:57There was, like, a fucking city out there.
00:58:00What did you slip me last night?
00:58:02I told you nothing.
00:58:03Now I need to know.
00:58:04Why weren't you in your tent last night?
00:58:08Because I was looking for you.
00:58:10You fucking moron drug addict.
00:58:12Your brains are so fucked, you were sleepwalking around like a fucking asshole.
00:58:22There's no more water?
00:58:23Yeah, we're out of everything.
00:58:25Cody and Wilder are still gone?
00:58:26Yeah, and they have all our keys and our phones and all our shit, too.
00:58:29Okay.
00:58:33Hey, we need to calm down, okay?
00:58:35I'm sure they'll be back soon.
00:58:36They have to be.
00:58:44You said I was sleepwalking?
00:58:49Yeah.
00:58:58What the hell are you doing?
00:58:59I'm going to look for Cody and Wilder.
00:59:00Fernd, no.
00:59:02There's no more water.
00:59:03It's too far, and it's supposed to get really, really hot today.
00:59:06You were right about this being a fucking horror movie, dude.
00:59:09Don't be stupid.
00:59:10I was just fucking around.
00:59:11No, you weren't just fucking around.
00:59:15You weren't.
00:59:17I knew you felt it, but now I feel it, too, dude.
00:59:19Cody and Wilder, I mean, what?
00:59:21They're just, like, sitting ducks out there?
00:59:23Are you fucking for real?
00:59:24Exactly!
00:59:26Am I fucking for real?
00:59:30I don't know.
00:59:34Or, you know, maybe...
00:59:37Hey, maybe my existence started when you guys pulled up in a car right out from my house.
00:59:43Or...
00:59:45Or whoever's house that was.
00:59:47You know, that the film crew rented to use as a location for the movie that we're in.
00:59:51Okay, you are on too many fucking drugs.
00:59:53Oh, I'm not.
00:59:53Cut it out with the metaphysical bullshit.
00:59:55Okay?
00:59:57Look.
00:59:59Don't go.
01:00:00Okay?
01:00:03What am I going to do here by myself?
01:00:04I don't know.
01:00:05I don't know.
01:00:05I just know that I need to leave, like, right now.
01:00:08Fernd, please.
01:00:09I have a really bad feeling about this.
01:00:11Now, get out of my way!
01:00:13So we're in a horror movie.
01:00:14So what?
01:00:15What do you think happens to the main characters when they all start going off, one by one?
01:00:21We need to stick together.
01:00:22Fuck you, dude!
01:00:23And let me out!
01:00:24Look, I just need to leave.
01:00:29Okay.
01:00:31I have to stay.
01:00:34Why?
01:00:35Why?
01:00:36Come with me, please.
01:00:38I can't.
01:00:41Fuck.
01:00:43Okay.
01:00:44Then I'll just see you later, huh?
01:00:46I'll just see you later.
01:00:50You're making a huge mistake!
01:01:28I will, please.
01:01:37I'll just see you later.
01:01:39Oh, my God.
01:02:11Oh, my God.
01:02:43Oh, my God.
01:03:13Oh, my God.
01:03:35Oh, my God.
01:03:54Oh, my God.
01:04:28Oh, my God.
01:04:36Oh, my God.
01:04:42Oh, my God.
01:05:10Oh, my God.
01:05:16Oh, my God.
01:05:31Oh, my God.
01:05:35Oh, my God.
01:05:45Oh, my God.
01:05:56Oh, my God.
01:06:08Oh, my God.
01:06:17Oh, my God.
01:06:25Oh, my God.
01:07:02Oh, my God.
01:07:16Oh, my God.
01:07:53Oh, my God.
01:07:58Oh, my God.
01:08:15Oh, my God.
01:08:18Oh, my God.
01:08:23Oh, my God.
01:08:25Oh, my God.
01:08:27Oh, my God.
01:08:28Oh, my God.
01:09:04Oh, my God.
01:09:42Oh, my God.
01:09:43Oh, my God.
01:10:02Oh, my God.
01:10:19Oh, my God.
01:10:48Oh, my God.
01:11:13Oh, my God.
01:11:26Oh, my God.
01:11:53Oh, my God.
01:11:53Oh, my God.
01:11:57Oh, my God.
01:12:01Oh, my God.
01:12:05Oh, my God.
01:12:33Oh, my God.
01:13:11Oh, my God.
01:13:17Oh, my God.
01:13:23Oh, my God.
01:13:42Oh, my God.
01:13:54Oh, my God.
01:14:07Oh, my God.
01:14:16Oh, my God.
01:14:36Oh, my God.
01:14:41Oh, my God.
01:15:29Oh, my God.
01:15:38Oh, my God.
01:15:49Oh, my God.
01:16:12Oh, my God.
01:16:15Oh, my God.
01:16:19Oh, my God.
01:16:58Oh, my God.
01:17:24Oh, my God.
01:17:42Oh, my God.
01:17:45Oh, my God.
01:17:49Oh, my God.
01:18:24Oh, my God.
01:18:37Oh, my God.
01:18:59Oh, my God.
01:19:44Oh, my God.
01:19:51Oh, my God.
01:20:24Oh, my God.
01:21:00Oh, my God.
01:21:26Oh, my God.
01:22:12Oh, my God.
01:22:20Oh, my God.
01:23:04Oh, my God.
01:23:42Oh, my God.
01:24:09Oh, my God.
01:24:27Oh, my God.
01:24:48Oh, my God.
01:25:17Oh, my God.
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