- 23 hours ago
Jethro invites his pampered 5th-grade classmate, Armstrong Dueser McHugh III (played by Michel Petit), to the mansion, where the Clampetts teach the coddled, "sickly" boy how to have fun, much to his chauffeur's dismay.
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00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed
00:02A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed
00:05And then one day he was shooting at some food
00:08And up through the ground come a bumbling crude
00:11Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea
00:16Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
00:18The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there
00:21Said, California is the place you ought to be
00:24So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly
00:26Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars
00:31The Beverly Hillbillies
01:16Granny, you out here?
01:17I'm over here, Jed
01:20Granny, is that you?
01:23Shucks no, Jed, I got prettier feet than that
01:25Prettier drumsticks, too
01:32Well, that was them fancy towels Mr. Drysdale give us
01:36Yeah, he says they're beach towels
01:37But we use them right here
01:39Granny, we've got company coming
01:41And I reckon you'd like to get some vittles going
01:43Who's coming?
01:44Well, one of them rich, high society Beverly Hills
01:47Fellas name of Armstrong Dooser McHugh the Third
01:51The Third what?
01:53Third Armstrong Dooser McHugh, I reckon
01:56You mean to tell me that them McHugh's named all three of their young'uns the same name?
02:00I reckon that's it
02:03Well, it's none of my business
02:04But dogged if I can see where Armstrong Dooser is such a good name
02:09They're kind of confusing, too
02:11I reckon that's why they call them First, Second, and Third
02:14How'd this feller get acquainted with us?
02:16Well, he ain't yet
02:17Jethro invited him over here to meet us
02:19But between you and me, I think it's Ellie Mae he wants to meet
02:22Yeah
02:23Jethro's always bragging about his pretty cousin
02:26I told her there's a fella coming over to meet her
02:28And she promised to put on her prettiest dress
02:30Well, when that Armstrong Dooser gets a look at Ellie
02:32He's gonna forget what number he is
02:37Paul?
02:38Over here, Ellie
02:39Ellie Mae, Clampett, there's a fella coming to see you
02:46Well, what's wrong, Paul?
02:48I put on my prettiest dress
02:51Ellie Mae, look at your feet
02:55Ain't got no shoes on
02:56Well, I'll go put them on
02:58Come back, Ellie Mae
03:00I just can't think of no quicker way to kill a romance
03:03Than to meet a feller toting a skunk in yard
03:25Is this the Clampett residence?
03:27Yes, sir
03:28Thank you
03:30He's older than I figured
03:31And wearing a uniform
03:32Guess what I didn't see
03:33It was an army
03:34It's all right, Jed
03:35It's confederate graves
03:37Well, howdy there
03:38I'm Jed Clampett
03:39This here is Granny
03:40And I reckon you must be Armstrong Dooser McHugh the third
03:43Oh, no, sir
03:44The second?
03:45No, ma'am
03:46That explains him being older
03:47He's the first
03:48Jethro Armstrong, Jed
03:49Yes, sir
03:50You don't understand
03:51Excuse me
04:00Mr. Clampett?
04:01I am Armstrong Dooser McHugh the third
04:05Well, howdy there, Armstrong
04:07I appear you're mighty young for Ellie
04:09Sir, I'm here to play with Jethro
04:11We're classmates in the fifth grade
04:14Uh, Granny, shake hands with Armstrong Dooser McHugh the third
04:19Howdy, third
04:20I am the latter to make your acquaintance
04:22Mighty big spread of years between the first and the third
04:25If it appears to be the second
04:26It'd be just about right for Ellie
04:27Hey, there is he
04:29It's Jethro
04:30Oh, please, sir, please
04:32Master Armstrong is very delicate
04:34Jethro won't hurt me
04:35He's my friend
04:36But you might get a nosebleed at that altitude
04:40Master Armstrong is under the care of several specialists
04:43He's very sickly
04:44Wilkins, please
04:45Last week we had nurses around the clock
04:48Even got a sick clock
04:52Master Armstrong, please
04:53You're not to get excited
04:55Would you like a tranquilizer?
04:56No
04:57Come on, everybody, let's go in the house
04:59I got some mittels cooking
05:00One moment, please
05:01I must go to the house before Master Armstrong
05:05I'm sorry about Wilkins
05:07But he has his orders
05:19What in the Sam Hill are you doing?
05:22This is an allergy spray
05:23He ain't got no allergies
05:26Master Armstrong has several
05:28And spray him
05:29You don't understand
05:31This spray settles the dust in the room
05:33Dust in my house?
05:35Why, if you weren't wearing the uniform that I dearly love
05:39I'd ram this down your throat and reach in and push the button
05:43Granny, calm down
05:44Well, I just mopped and cleaned in here just this morning
05:48Madam, the air is filled with minute particles invisible to the naked eye
05:53I don't see them
05:54I hope you brought your swimsuit, little doozy
05:59We got a dandy big cement pod here
06:01Oh, I'm afraid I don't know how to swim
06:03Oh, Jethro will learn you?
06:04Sure
06:04Oh, no, no
06:05Master Armstrong's not allowed in the water
06:07No wonder he's got all them allergies
06:10A good hot bath with lye soap
06:12That's what he needs
06:13Lye soap?
06:15Master Armstrong, I don't think I should leave you here
06:17Please, Wilkins
06:19Well, I'll take your temperature and blood pressure before I go
06:23No, Wilkins, I feel fine
06:25Oh, very well
06:26With whom shall I leave the young master's schedule on rest, diet, medication and telephone numbers of doctors?
06:32Well, if anything you do with doctor and granny here is the best
06:35Very well, there you are
06:36Now then
06:38Antihistamine pills
06:40Tranquilizers
06:42Acid pills
06:43Anti-acid pills
06:46Vitamins
06:47Iron
06:48Liver
06:50Yeast
06:51Extract
06:54Antibiotics
06:54Open up, Master Armstrong
06:57It's time for your throat spray
06:58Just for cautionary measure
07:01To see that he bites off the respiratory virus
07:05If that rascal comes around here, I'll fight him
07:07Over to school, all the big fellas is always picking on little dudes
07:10But not when Jethro's around
07:13Oh, I almost forgot
07:14The oxygen tent is in the car
07:16Where shall I set it up?
07:17Tent?
07:18Uh, yes, sir
07:19Master Armstrong usually spends an hour a day in it
07:23Oh, you like camping, do you?
07:26I say he does
07:27He's as happy as a itchy pig
07:29Rubbing against a real fence
07:31Speaking of pigs
07:32I got some hog jowl stewing
07:34And a possum pie in the oven
07:36For this little feller's lunch
07:37Come on
07:38Hog jowls
07:40Possum pie
07:43Do you intend to be those things to Master Armstrong?
07:46Why, don't he eat that good at home?
07:48Oh, he has an extremely delicate digestive system
07:52At present, he's on a diet of special Swiss yogurt
07:56We hunted all over Beverly Hills to find it
07:59Jethro, get out your rifle
08:01And hunt down one of them Swiss yogurts
08:03Okay, Uncle Jed
08:04Oh, I'll take a little doozy along
08:06To make sure I shoot the right kind
08:07Sure
08:08Reckon Granny will know how to cook it once she sees it
08:11Is it run or fly?
08:13Neither
08:15Yogurt is inanimate
08:16It just, uh, lies there
08:19Ain't gonna be much sport to shoot, Jethro
08:21That's a fact
08:22Hi, has anybody seen little Charlie?
08:26Oh, don't
08:28Go away
08:29Master Armstrong's allergic to all animals
08:35Ellie
08:36Charlie's back in the kitchen
08:37Ah, a skunk
08:40Oh, city feller, I wouldn't do that if I was you
08:42He might just return the favor
08:58Oh, I'm sorry
09:01You've all finished
09:02Go right ahead and chuck it in there, young fella
09:04Looks like you could use a little fattening up
09:07That's a fact
09:08I've thrown away chicken bones with more meat on them than he's got
09:12You want some more, little doozy?
09:14Oh, no, thank you
09:15It was most delicious
09:16I'd like to tell Chef how to make that
09:18Who's Chef?
09:19Oh, he's the feller that does the cooking over at Doozy's house
09:22A man in the kitchen?
09:25Yeah, Granny
09:25You ought to see him
09:26Cooks in a great big white hat
09:29Well, the first thing to tell him to do is to get rid of the hat and do his cooking
09:32in a pot
09:35Well, how come your ma don't do the cooking, little doozy?
09:38Who?
09:39Your ma
09:40Oh, mother
09:42I don't believe she knows where the kitchen is
09:44On her rare visits home, I've never seen her there
09:47Is she their visits home?
09:49My mother and father spend most of their time traveling
09:53Oh, drummers, huh?
09:55What do they sell?
09:55Well, they don't work
09:56They just travel
09:57How come?
09:59I really don't know
10:00I imagine they enjoy it
10:03Well, don't you miss your ma and pa?
10:05Oh, they write to me regularly
10:06Every month or two
10:08I have a marvelous collection of foreign stamps
10:10And they always telephoned me on my birthday
10:14That's right, friendly of them
10:17Who looks after you, little doozy?
10:20Oh, mostly the governess
10:22Governess?
10:23She's married to Wilkins
10:24Did you hear that, Granny?
10:26That fellow to bring him over here is the governor
10:28I still don't give him no right to tell me I got dust in my house
10:32You folks have so much fun
10:34I never even laugh at home
10:37Well, little fella
10:38Anytime you feel like busting out laughing
10:40You come right on over
10:42Excuse me
10:43Come on, little doozy
10:44You promised to help me with my homework
10:46He's the smartest kid in school
10:47Oh, I'd rather be able to swim and climb trees like you
10:50Well, you help me with history
10:52And I'll teach you to swim and tree climb
10:57I spoke to young Master Armstrong
10:59And he told me to tell you
11:01That he ain't ready to go home yet
11:02He's having too much fun
11:04He's not permitted to have fun
11:06It's bad for his blood pressure
11:08Well, I'll tell him when he comes down out of the top of that tree
11:11He's in the train
11:12Say, that little rascal can climb like a squirrel
11:15Soon as his hands get toughened up, he'll be as good as Ellie Mae
11:18I insist upon taking him home immediately
11:21I told you
11:22He don't want to go home yet
11:24That makes no difference
11:25He's going
11:27Hold on a minute
11:29I don't want to tangle with no soldier in the Confederate grave
11:33This is not a Confederate uniform
11:36Now remove your hand and lead me to Master Armstrong
11:40And if I don't?
11:42I'll have to take him by force
11:45Is that a fact?
11:47Like Grant took Richmond
11:50What did you say?
11:52I shall take him like Grant took Richmond
11:56That's what I thought you said
12:11I'll be back
12:12Well, you better bring Grant with you
12:14And his whole army
12:26Sorry to interrupt, Chief
12:28But Wilkins here has an urgent problem
12:29Concerning young Armstrong Doosan McHugh III
12:32Well, what is it?
12:33Well, to fill you in, Chief
12:34Armstrong Doosan McHugh III's father
12:37Armstrong Doosan McHugh II
12:38Has appointed the bank
12:39Executor of his will
12:41Administrator of his estate
12:42And guardian of Armstrong Doosan McHugh III
12:45In case something should happen to
12:46Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong Doosan McHugh II
12:49And that is why Wilkins here
12:51And very wisely
12:52Has come to you in this crisis
12:54What is the crisis?
12:57I forgot
13:00Oh, yes
13:02Young Master Armstrong is being held a prisoner
13:05Call the FBI
13:06Do you know who has him?
13:08A hillbilly family called the Clampets
13:10Stay, Edgar Hoover, please
13:11Never mind, hang on
13:13Wilkins
13:13The Clampets are my next-door neighbors
13:15My largest depositors
13:17And my personal friends
13:18And the very salts of the earth
13:20Sorry, Chief
13:21Look, Mr. Drysdale
13:22Young Master Armstrong
13:24Is extremely frail and delicate
13:26And the Clampets
13:27Refuse to give him the proper food
13:29Or rest or medication
13:30They're exposing him to great danger
13:32Get the Clampets on the phone
13:34They won't harm a boy
13:36But I'm afraid they already have
13:38They've got him climbing trees
13:39And eating possum pie
13:42Delicious
13:44But they're violent people
13:46Granny threatened me with a shotgun
13:49What did you say about the South?
13:52The South what?
13:53Oh, Granny
13:54Jane Hathaway here
13:55Could you call young Armstrong
13:57Do some Q the third to the telephone?
13:59I don't hardly think so
14:00He went out to the cement pond to swim
14:03Thank you, Granny
14:04Goodbye
14:05Nothing to worry about
14:06Master Armstrong is in swimming
14:09What he doesn't know how to swim?
14:12But, General
14:13I don't know how to swim
14:15Oh, don't let that worry you, little doozy
14:17We can learn anybody
14:18Why, heck, Ellie Mae even learned her cat
14:20Come on, Rusty
14:21Look there
14:27Come on, Rusty
14:29Did you have a good swim?
14:34See, little doozy
14:35There's nothing to it
14:36Now you just watch me
14:38And do as I do
14:48Come on, little doozy
14:50I'm afraid, Jethro
14:52You got nothing to be afraid of
14:54Why, Ellie Mae is right here
14:55And Rusty, too
14:58I'll do it
14:59If Big Jethro commands me to
15:00Big Jethro says
15:02Dive in and swim
15:18Look, Jethro, I'm swimming
15:20You sure are, little doozy
15:22You just done swung right out of your swimming suit
15:36Nice and soft here
15:37So nobody won't get hurt now
15:38Can you really teach me to defend myself
15:41Against those big bullies at school?
15:42You betcha
15:43Now come at me like you're fixin' to hurt me
15:48I really oughta learn you on someone bigger than myself
15:51Mr. Poe, ma'am?
15:53Yes, Miss Clampon
15:54Would you help us out for a minute, please?
15:57Why, certainly
15:58What can I do for you?
15:59Well, I'm trying to learn this here young fella
16:01How to protect himself
16:03Now you come at me like you're fixin' to hurt me
16:06Oh, I don't think I'd better
16:07I was in the Marines, you know
16:08And they taught us some pretty rough tactics
16:10Yeah!
16:16By any chance
16:17Were you in the 3rd Battalion?
16:26Try that, little doozy
16:29It works!
16:30I'll tell you what you can do
16:33You whittle yourself a whole bunch of these
16:34Different sizes
16:35Time to get aside by each
16:37You can play a real tune
16:39But I don't have a knife, sir
16:43Well, I'll tell you what
16:44If you promise to handle it real careful
16:46Like I showed you
16:47Safety first
16:48Don't cut yourself
16:50You can have this one
16:53Gee, thank you, Uncle Jed
16:56You know, by rights
16:57I ain't your Uncle Jed
16:58Just Jethro's
16:59Oh, yes
17:01I'm sorry, Mr. Clampett
17:04Seeing as how you're such a good friend of Jethro's
17:06You can call me Uncle Jed
17:13Now remember, 3rd
17:15You gotta keep your eye on the cork
17:18When the cork starts bobbing around in the water
17:21Then you know that a fish is nosing around the bait
17:25Then, when the cork all of a sudden ducks under the water
17:29Then you know old Mr. Fish has grabbed the bait
17:33And you pull him out
17:36Can I hold the line, Mrs. Granny?
17:38Sure, you might as well get the feel of it
17:44I caught something!
17:46Oh, you couldn't have
17:47There's nothing in there
17:48It felt like a whale!
17:50Help me!
18:03I figured I'd let little Lucy see what it was like to catch a big old catfish
18:11You hold it kind of loose this way
18:13You bring your arm back
18:15And just as you let it fly
18:16You give it a little spin
18:18You watch
18:23Perfect!
18:23Ring your Uncle Jed!
18:25Yeah
18:26Now, uh, you try
18:31Now, you see how hard it is to be able to climb a tree?
18:38Oh, you see how hard it is to watch bump a tree
18:45Uh, I thought it was their fault
18:50Okay, I've been bummed
18:55Okay, let's go
19:03Millen��
19:03I believe that a bird
19:05Do you see how hard it is to lie
19:07B amazed at all those
19:07Who w sociales
19:11Now, be of good cheer, Wilkins.
19:13I am confident that we shall find everything here in possum pot.
19:16Apple pie order.
19:19Howdy, Mr. Drysdale.
19:20Well, Miss Jean, Mr. Wilkins, come on in.
19:25Gonna bake a tater pie to give to little goose.
19:28And it'll taste so good his toes will curl up in his shoes.
19:33To bake a tater pie, it takes a lot of possum fat.
19:38I don't think that fellow chef can bake it in his hand.
19:43Greetings, Granny.
19:45Hello, Manny.
19:47Thought I told you to secede from these parts.
19:50Oh, Manny.
19:51Madam, I demand to see Master Armstrong immediately.
19:53Shh, don't wake him up. He's taking his nap.
19:56Ah, did you see he's getting his rest?
19:57Needs it, too. Poor little fellow's all tuckered out.
20:00Which bedroom is he in?
20:01Napping right out there in the sun.
20:02The sun?
20:03His skin is far too sensitive to be exposed to ultraviolet rays.
20:11He's allergic to animals.
20:19Wilkins, I'm not going home. I feel fine.
20:24You're coming home and have an antiseptic bath
20:26and then spend an hour in your oxygen tent.
20:29Wilkins, I'm not going.
20:32Then I'll take you by force.
20:34You will.
20:35Like Grant took Richmond.
20:46Master Armstrong!
20:49I'll call you when I need you.
21:05Go away.
21:07Scat.
21:08Scat!
21:10Scat!
21:13Scat!
21:18I wouldn't do that if I was...
21:20I tried to tell him.
21:46Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.
21:49They would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
21:53You're all invited back next week to this locality
21:56To have a heaping helping of their hospitality.
22:00Hillbilly, that is.
22:02Set a spell.
22:04Take your shoes off.
22:05Y'all come back now.
22:06Here?
22:16This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:18This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:21Withch from the
22:22I'm going to get back and现
22:22from the
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