- 4 months ago
My Fake Office Fiancé - Eng
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:15oh
00:16Okay, time to go
00:18What is this? It's 6 a.m. Oh my god, baby. It's too early
00:21First of all, let me be very clear. I am not your baby
00:25Second of all, get out of my house before I call security
00:27Are you crazy?
00:29No, just very busy
00:30You are seriously kicking me out after all the fun we had last night
00:37Last night was fun for you, for me not so much
00:41Time to go
00:42Rapido, rapido, let's keep going
00:45Keep it going
00:46Hey listen, don't you know who my father is?
00:49You could have had it all
00:50I'll be treating you like a queen by now
00:52That is quite the offer for a one night stand
00:54You listen to me, no man in their right mind would ever
00:58But not ever marry you, do you understand?
01:00You're going to die alone, you heartless fucking cow
01:04Well lucky for me, I would rather die than get married
01:07To you or to anyone
01:09Goodbye
01:12My shoes are still there
01:15Fuck
01:19You're so naughty
01:20Oh listen, I gotta go after that
01:22I love you too
01:24Well, you look happy this morning Brian
01:26Did your boss die or something?
01:28I don't think Satan can die
01:31But it's promotion day, baby
01:33I don't know how you do it
01:34Honestly, you just have to know how to handle a filly like her
01:38Jenna's tough, I'd rather work for Jenna than anyone else at the company
01:41Even when she is being a co-
01:42A new script came in, I need you to redo the whole thing
01:49Right
01:51Big wigs are waiting for you in the conference room
01:53This is it
01:55I've worked my ass off for this
01:57And what a fine
02:00Job you've done
02:02I know that shit eating grin
02:03What do you want?
02:05It's promotion day
02:06For you and me, I'm just dreaming of my new window office
02:09Ooh, out of the question
02:11What?
02:12Oh no, no, no, no, no
02:13I have done everything you've asked for three years
02:16You made a deal with me when I took this job
02:18I stayed with you and put it with all of your...
02:20Look, Brian
02:20I am the boss
02:23You are the glorified secretary
02:25I decide who gets what around here
02:27You jump when I say jump
02:30You bow down when I say so
02:31Got it?
02:33Yeah
02:35So...
02:36On your knees
02:47That's a good boy
02:54Don't say shit
02:57Hi
02:57Huh
03:00Jenna
03:02We've had our eye on you
03:04And we'd like you to be the next CEO
03:06Thank you
03:07However...
03:08There is one little snag
03:10For you to be our CEO
03:13You're gonna have to be married
03:15Huh?
03:16That cold-hearted bitch
03:18No promotion, huh?
03:20That's it, I'm gonna quit
03:21I'm gonna go in there and tell it right to her sadistic fucking face
03:27I'm sorry, you're saying my options are...
03:30I get married in a week
03:33Or I forfeit the CEO position?
03:36Where is this coming from?
03:38Shareholders
03:41You know my son Devin
03:42He's our newest board member
03:45As of this morning
03:46We know it sounds a little backward
03:49Shareholders expect traditional family values
03:53As a single woman, you're just too intimidating for these guys
03:57Jenna, we need to talk
04:01Alright?
04:03I can't hold an enemy longer
04:04Me neither!
04:05Surprise!
04:07We're engaged
04:09We're engaged
04:24We're engaged
04:27We're engaged
04:35We're engaged
04:38Love, oh Lord, are you?
04:40Oh, right.
04:41Is this true?
04:44Of course it is.
04:47Jenna King is my kind, sweet, loving,
04:52Beyonce.
04:59Damn, what do you say to her?
05:02It's all settled then.
05:04We'll get the paperwork made up immediately.
05:06Next week after the wedding, we'll make it official.
05:10Of course, engaged means we'll be getting married next week.
05:16It's different when you say it like.
05:20Congratulations.
05:21Congratulations.
05:22See you at the wedding.
05:26You're going down, Kate.
05:27Not if things went the way they did last night.
05:39What the fuck?
05:41I know.
05:42What the fuck?
05:44I know.
05:45Look, they weren't going to give me the position unless I said that I was married.
05:50I panicked.
05:51Oh.
05:52Well, you can keep panicking because we are not getting married.
05:55I came in here to tell you that I quit.
05:58What?
05:58And that you're a selfish asshole.
06:04Okay, that sounded a lot more harsh out loud.
06:06What are you going to do about it, huh?
06:09Fire me?
06:10You are selfish, Jenna.
06:12Yeah, but so are you, Brian.
06:14Oh?
06:15What do you want?
06:18I want a raise.
06:20Fine.
06:21No, no, no.
06:21I want a promotion, then the raise.
06:23This is not a fucking magic lamp, Brian.
06:25Oh, well, then I'll just tell them you lied.
06:26Oh, Devin!
06:27No, no, no, no.
06:28Okay, fine.
06:28Fine.
06:28You can have a raise.
06:31And promotion.
06:31And your promotion.
06:33Yeah.
06:35I didn't know you were so annoying.
06:37Oh, well, I certainly knew who you were.
06:42You're engaged?
06:43Huh?
06:44How could you?
06:47Oh!
06:49What are you doing?
06:51Penny.
06:53Nothing.
06:56How?
06:59It's not like you would tell your ex-girlfriend
07:01that you're even seeing someone?
07:03What?
07:04Betrayal!
07:05Tasha, come on.
07:07We went out for one drink.
07:09And then we slept together for months.
07:13Don't...
07:15Oh, don't touch me.
07:16No, no.
07:18As an inter-office relationship,
07:20you both are subjected for an HR interview.
07:23Answers to this interview are considered on the record
07:26and result in considerable fines
07:28if found to falsely represent the relationship.
07:31Okay, that doesn't sound legal.
07:33I don't make the rules, Mr. Arnhem.
07:36But I do.
07:38Isn't that funny?
07:41As you know, it's a very powerful company,
07:44which means that if we ever find out
07:46that this engagement of yours is a sham,
07:49not only will you lose the CEO position,
07:52but we will ruin you.
07:55Legal or not.
07:58Okay.
08:00Question number one.
08:01When was the first time you two were intimate?
08:07Oh, you owe me a big time.
08:11It was after the Poulsen style party.
08:15Yeah.
08:16Ms. King, Jenna, invited me as her plus one.
08:22Clark, honey, you said you would do it.
08:25No, I don't want to.
08:26Stop.
08:38And we shared a very, very special night.
08:42What?
08:43Please just stop.
08:47No, I'm not.
08:48Come on.
08:49I'm not.
08:50Okay.
08:51Come on, show me.
08:52What do you got?
08:52Best move.
08:53Step touch.
08:59Come.
09:01A little bit.
09:09Can I kiss you?
09:11Such a gentleman.
09:14Time to go.
09:22Thanks a lot.
09:24Let's go.
09:29Yep.
09:29That was the first time we were intimate.
09:33Charmy.
09:35Moving on.
09:36What is Jenna's favorite underwear?
09:39This is ridiculous.
09:40Standard procedure.
09:42Yeah.
09:42But if you don't want to go through it,
09:44I'm more than happy to tell the board that you were
09:47receiving the offer of CEO.
09:50Black lace.
09:52From Agent Lace.
09:54Collab with Lovely Design.
09:55Is it also standard procedure to have her strip right here to prove it?
10:00This is so funny.
10:01He's so funny.
10:04Favorite movie?
10:05Speed 2.
10:07Favorite flower?
10:08Peonies.
10:09Especially when they're not in season.
10:15Well, you two seem to know a lot about each other, right?
10:18Brian.
10:18But Brian, did you happen to know that your fiancee here, she was cheating on you last night?
10:25No.
10:26With me.
10:30Yeah, well, we had a sort of last hurrah moment.
10:36And honestly, I'm just surprised that she spent her last hurrah slumming it with you.
10:43You two better watch her back because I'm coming for you.
10:47And I'll expose you.
10:50And then I'll ruin you both.
10:53Good luck.
10:56Tasha.
10:56Tasha.
11:05That was brutal.
11:06I can't believe you slept with that guy.
11:09You're one to talk.
11:10Touche.
11:13He's right though.
11:16If we're gonna do this, we need to really commit.
11:20You need to move in.
11:21Tonight.
11:24Here.
11:25Take my card.
11:26I'll cover any moving expenses.
11:29Look, this isn't ideal for me either.
11:32Believe me.
11:33But we need to make it at least look like we're on a united front.
11:41By the way, how did you do that?
11:42And all the answers to the questions.
11:44It's like you were living in my brain.
11:47Jenna.
11:48It's literally my job to know and anticipate everything about you.
11:52Well, it's creepy.
11:54Hey, just be glad they didn't ask anything about me.
11:57What is that supposed to mean?
11:59You know absolutely nothing about me.
12:02That is incredibly untrue.
12:04Where am I from?
12:06Farm?
12:09Ville?
12:10Nice. How old am I?
12:13Hopefully over 18, am I right?
12:16I'm turning 30 on Sunday.
12:18Really? 30?
12:19And you're still an assistant?
12:22My bad.
12:23I will take you out for a nice dinner.
12:28Sunday is the day that we're getting married.
12:30Right.
12:33Ranger?
12:34Oh.
12:36This is serious, Jenna.
12:39Alright.
12:40It's probably fun for you fucking around with finance bros.
12:43But this could ruin us.
12:46And you might be fine.
12:47But I could lose everything.
12:49I'm out on a limb for you.
12:51I know.
12:52I know I'm asking a lot of you.
12:54But I swear I will make it up to you.
12:57Starting today.
13:03Oh, come on.
13:04Get off my ass.
13:11That's right, mother.
13:12Fuck!
13:17No fucking way.
13:20Welcome home, sweetheart.
13:22What did you do?
13:23You told me I needed to move in, so I moved in.
13:26It's like a fucking manosphere threw up on my house.
13:30Our house.
13:33You know, I'm starting to agree with Devin.
13:35This place could use a bit more of a masculine touch.
13:38Bro.
13:39Oh, and here.
13:42These receipts are for you.
13:43Get your feet off of the designer chair.
13:46Were you raised in a barn?
13:48No.
13:49The farmhouse next to the barn.
13:57Two.
13:59No!
14:00God, I love that.
14:06Is this a fucking water bed?
14:07You know, my landlord would never let me have it.
14:09Where is the $3,000 California King I had custom made?
14:13Hm?
14:14Oh, right.
14:15In the alley.
14:16Being used by a wino as a toilet.
14:19Hey.
14:20Don't worry about it.
14:23Oh, come on.
14:24Now we can sleep all close and snuggly.
14:26Very cute.
14:27Now I can see that you're pleased with yourself.
14:29Torturing me.
14:30Oh, I thought you'd like it.
14:31I don't let anyone sleep with me.
14:34Not even hookups.
14:35Hm.
14:36This is supposed to be my space away from people.
14:40My sanctuary.
14:42Our sanctuary.
14:43Finish that word.
14:45I will smother you with a pillow.
14:52If this is going to work, there are going to be certain rules that we both need to agree to.
14:58A contract.
14:59Hm.
14:59Got it?
15:01I'm keeping the bed.
15:03Keep the bed.
15:04I will sleep in the guest room.
15:09What does our engagement contract say about consummating the marriage?
15:13Don't.
15:14Take that as a note.
15:16Hm.
15:16Okay.
15:17Engagement contract.
15:19Here are the terms.
15:20Um.
15:22Sleeping quarters.
15:23We'll be separate.
15:26Next add.
15:28Physical affection only when required.
15:30Like in public.
15:32Nothing gratuitous.
15:34Gratuitous?
15:40You mean.
15:45Think that.
15:50Yeah, I'll try to control myself.
15:58Good.
16:00Nothing gratuitous.
16:02No dating or hooking up until the CEO paperwork is signed.
16:05And my promotion paperwork.
16:08Whatever.
16:09And...
16:10Full and total verbal commitment to each other.
16:13Blah, blah, blah.
16:13I get to pick the wedding DJ.
16:14No.
16:15No DJ.
16:16This is going to be a good old fashioned courthouse shotgun wedding.
16:20Except I am not pregnant.
16:21Just when I thought you couldn't get any less fun.
16:23Where do I sign?
16:26We, Jenna King and Brian Arnhem, enter into this agreement of engagement willingly and of our own volition.
16:32What? Were you like a lawyer or something?
16:35Used to be.
16:39What?
16:40I practiced before I joined Purple Rabbit.
16:42No.
16:44Sign there.
16:53Great.
17:04What?
17:05What?
17:05What?
17:06What?
17:07What?
17:07What?
17:07What?
17:07What?
17:07Hey, Jenna, it's...
17:09It's alright.
17:09These are...
17:10These are my parents.
17:11Mary and Cody.
17:12Ah, your parents.
17:15Your parents?
17:16And you must be Jenna.
17:17It's so nice to meet you.
17:20Appreciate y'all having us.
17:22Right, uh...
17:23Right.
17:24Mom?
17:25Dad, what are y'all doing here?
17:27You said you couldn't make it home for your big birthday weekend because of work.
17:31So...
17:31Surprise!
17:32We came to you!
17:33We went by your old place, but your roomie said you were here.
17:37And that you were getting married!
17:39Right, yeah.
17:40We almost forgot.
17:42We're engaged!
17:43We want to hear all about the engagement.
17:45Yeah.
17:46After we unpack.
17:48After you what?
17:49Right.
17:51Lovely.
17:52Are you guys sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in like a hotel or something?
17:57Oh, Jenna.
17:58They'll stay in the guest room.
18:00Family stays with family.
18:01And hey!
18:02You're family now, Jayma.
18:04Jenna.
18:05Plus, we want to get to know the gal that stole Bright's heart so suddenly.
18:09Right.
18:09So, how long are you guys staying?
18:11We just wanted to stay for the big birthday weekend.
18:14We can't.
18:15But now that you two are engaged, we've got weeks of planning to do!
18:22Weeks!
18:24Weeks!
18:25Weeks?
18:26Really?
18:27We will be married and divorced by then.
18:30Why didn't you tell them that we're getting married next week?
18:32Come on.
18:33A courthouse wedding would devastate my mother.
18:35She's so excited about this.
18:36Just...
18:37Play along for a few days until I find a time to tell her.
18:40Fine.
18:42But remember when I said I don't like people invading my privacy?
18:44Well, yeah.
18:45I was going to ask you about that.
18:46Are you just afraid of people knowing the real you or is it more of a preservation thing?
18:49She's...
18:49Stop guessing about my neuroses!
18:51Please.
18:52I wouldn't have to guess if you'd just trust me.
18:58I do trust you.
19:02Obviously.
19:03No.
19:04You trust me with your schedule and your dry cleaning.
19:07Alright?
19:08I know almost everything about you.
19:11You know nothing about me.
19:16Am I wrong?
19:20I'll sleep on the floor.
19:21I'll sleep on the floor.
19:22Uh-uh.
19:23I am just as stubborn as you.
19:25And twice the gentleman.
19:27You're on the bed.
19:33You're on the bed.
19:37You're on the bed.
19:44You're on the bed.
19:48At avatar.
19:48Buffet.
19:50Feast.
19:50You're my apath Forsenert.
19:52Buffet.
19:53Freak.
19:54When I come out to the spa
19:55got me cooking on heat.
19:57You're my appenfomonter.
19:59Buffet.częs.
20:17clothes on please this is this is incredibly inappropriate what do you say boss oh yes speaking
20:24of do your parents know who i am what do you mean do they know i'm your boss probably not
20:31you know usually i just refer to you by one of my pet names what pet names satan satan's mistress
20:40devil incarnate the dark princess of the underworld mainly just variations on the same theme
20:48unbelievable truly i don't think this will fit i don't think it's a good idea for me to play
20:57hooky from work right now you know important business things and assistant you could be
21:00sick one day that witch doesn't deserve you right jenna i'm sure that witch could do a day without
21:08you it's not like she has anything hugely important no going on okay we'll have fun aren't you coming
21:18didn't you say you were between jobs i did say that mm-hmm good so what do you have in
21:25mind
21:27there's a lookout at the top of the mountain come on slowpokes sightseeing is very different than
21:33hiking brian brian oh god oh i didn't need to say okay so more of an inside girly noted
22:01i run every morning right cut like on a treadmill like a civilized person
22:11this is my nightmare what well all of this strangers in my home hugging me a wedding a wedding
22:22oh my god the thought of a poofy white dress literally makes me want to puke
22:33well if it's any consolation i really do appreciate you being here
22:36you know it means so much to my parents to be here with me and they are psyched about you
22:43family is everything family is overrated oh speaking of i did invite your parents to the wedding
22:51what
22:53just kidding sort of i know family's not really your thing but i did make a few fake invitations and
23:00left
23:01them on my desk and just to really sell it i just went to mr and mrs king
23:08is this fun for you terrorizing me oh immensely what do you do for fun besides feast on the unborn
23:16um close the red floor stories deal um review development slates sign paychecks manage schedules
23:23order coffee work work work you know there is such a thing as work-life balance right
23:29that is the funniest thing i've ever heard do you think i like being this way i have been there
23:35since i graduated and i still have to work twice as hard for them to take me seriously
23:41you're right what it must suck you are the most talented producer they have by far
23:49and it must suck to have to prove yourself time and time again oh god especially when idiots like
23:56devin just prance on in because they have a dick granted i assume it's a pretty small oddly shaped
24:03dick yeah but you do deserve better thank you
24:15okay now onto the top buttercup
24:26ma here i know how much you love your chocolate chips oh thank you dear
24:30i sure do love my chocolate chip cookies jenna that salad looks delicious oh yeah it's a
24:39chopped salad chopped salad are you kidding me that's not just any chopped salad that's the
24:43chopped salad extra chopped no basil no spices just the way she likes it wow you're gonna make a great
24:49husband bry right yes thank you babe right oh you don't have to be shy in front of us kids
25:05you know
25:06when your father proposed he couldn't keep his hands off me you still can't keep it oh stop it
25:12no please stop no no you won't horndall please don't please don't yeah i'm sorry
25:18hey you know the old ball and chain i am not old oh well you certainly act a lot older
25:27than you are then
25:30yeah yeah yeah at least i don't act like a frat boy right right right right
25:43oh my
26:02anybody want to drink i know i do
26:04all right
26:11oh pull yourself together man it's a contract strictly professional right hi do you have anything
26:21stronger than coffee
26:24so jenna uh tell us what you have planned
26:27for what for what oh uh boobies probably no silly the wedding you are a hoot
26:38uh yeah probably just something simple like a courthouse probably next week oh a good old
26:46fashion shotgun courthouse wedding exactly except i'm not pregnant no no you can't be getting married
26:55in some dusty old courthouse sweetie last minute we can work with but this is gonna be your wedding day
27:02it's fine don't worry jenna b i will help you every step of the way we'll start today
27:09ah i'm actually oh what did i miss we are going wedding dress shopping
27:16oh
27:18she loves dresses especially wedding dresses there's bourbon in here drink
27:27oh isn't everything just so beautiful don't you just love love
27:34uh-huh
27:38is something the matter
27:42maybe this is also complicated oh sweetheart i'm not gonna lie to you marriage is complicated
27:51if you follow your heart you always end up in the right place and i could see how good and
27:57big your
27:57heart is jenna i don't know about that it is you gotta believe it
28:06showtime
28:28uh
28:40uh
28:56just
29:01Jenna, I think you found the one.
29:11Jenna, you feeling okay?
29:13You're looking a little pale.
29:15Yeah, yeah, it's probably just the pike and champagne and dancing.
29:21Oh, hi.
29:25I think I'm going to faint.
29:27Jenna, you okay?
29:34Yeah, yeah, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
29:39You look beautiful.
29:41Oh, no.
29:46She'll be fine.
29:48Take her home.
29:50Here, come on.
29:53We'll get you some rest.
29:55Whoa, whoa, whoa.
29:57You know, you weren't kidding when you said wedding dresses really disagreed with you.
30:01Not the time, Bri.
30:03I don't even know what happened.
30:05Oh, I talked to the doctor.
30:07He said you just had too much fun.
30:10A little bit of rest and you'll be right back on your feet.
30:14Oh, God.
30:14Oh, God.
30:15Oh, God.
30:17Here.
30:20You can have my special blanket.
30:23Yeah, there you go.
30:26Some water over here if you need it to.
30:28Your mom's really sweet, by the way.
30:31Your whole family is.
30:33I'll see where you get it.
30:36Was that a compliment?
30:38Maybe we should take you to the ER.
30:40Stop.
30:41Don't make me laugh at my weekend's tape.
30:45Sorry, sorry.
30:48I don't think anyone's ever actually taken care of me before.
30:52Really?
30:52But you make it so easy.
30:58My parents never really cared about me like that.
31:01It's like their careers and lives were so much more important than me.
31:05Yeah, growing up, I was a parent.
31:08And I think I just started seeing and believing, really, that showing vulnerability was a weakness.
31:17Yeah.
31:18Well, that sounds pretty hard.
31:19Made me a good producer.
31:21But a bad partner, I think.
31:23You're not a bad anything, Jenna.
31:27We're all humans.
31:29Just trying our best.
31:33Except Devin.
31:34Oh, yeah.
31:35Except Devin.
31:36Fuck that guy.
31:37Fuck that guy.
31:39Okay.
31:43Fuck Devin.
31:45Yeah, fuck Devin.
31:53Fuck that man.
31:55Fuck that man.
32:02Fuck that man.
32:22hi
32:23good morning
32:26I'm really glad you didn't turn into a pumpkin last night
32:30or whatever they have in hell
32:31right
32:33cause I'm the devil
32:40um
32:42thank you
32:45it was really sweet of you to take care of me
32:47what
32:50are you still sick
32:53do you have a fever or something
32:54I
32:57it feels really nice
33:09are you feeling okay
33:18I gotta go
33:20gotta go to work
33:28bye
33:35oh my god
33:36I love Brian
33:45wow
33:49I really have no friends to talk to
33:51maybe Brian was right about this whole work-life balance
33:56oh shit my meeting
33:58okay that is a problem for future Jenna
34:00just get it together babe
34:02and stop talking to yourself
34:04starting now
34:08okay
34:11so with the new script changes
34:12I wish Brian was here
34:16uh schedule changes
34:18I can't believe she slept with my husband
34:21did I just say husband
34:23you seem a little
34:24distracted Jenna
34:26no
34:27not a good look for the next CEO
34:29no no everything
34:30everything is good
34:31everything is great
34:32let's just pick this up after the wedding
34:34you seem to have a lot on your mind right now
34:40yeah
34:43tick tock
34:44tick tock
34:45it all falls down
34:49it's two different nursery rhymes you moron
34:52did you just call me a moron?
35:00okay I'm just gonna
35:03tell him that I have real feelings
35:04and
35:05be over the thing straight
35:09Jenna
35:10I met your new neighbor
35:18Clark?
35:21long time no see Jenna
35:23oh
35:24you two know each other
35:26I'll start dinner so you can catch up
35:28Brian will be home soon
35:30who?
35:31uh
35:31Brian
35:32he's
35:34he'll be home soon
35:35okay
35:37so what are you doing here?
35:39funny enough just moved in
35:40down the street
35:42why?
35:43you hate this neighborhood
35:44things change
35:46people change
35:48look I'm not the man who I once was
35:50okay
35:51I'm not the one who let you get away
35:58what we had
35:59that was special
36:01you can't deny that
36:02I
36:02I don't know what to say
36:04say it's not too late
36:06is it?
36:09right
36:14I'm engaged
36:15didn't answer my question
36:16you
36:16left me
36:18you broke my heart
36:19you don't know how sorry I am
36:21truly
36:21I wasn't ready then
36:23but I am now
36:24okay
36:25I'll prove it to you
36:27I don't have time for this
36:29do you love him?
36:31if you do just
36:32tell me
36:32I'll leave you alone for good
36:34oh you've got to be kidding me
36:39Clark would you like to join us for dinner?
36:42um
36:43no no no
36:44sure
36:46hey
36:51mom
36:51dad if you don't mind
36:53oh
36:53here you go pal
36:59thanks for coming
37:00yeah
37:00appreciate it
37:01look at this
37:03alright
37:03let's
37:04set that screen
37:05ooh
37:06nice
37:07comfy
37:08yeah
37:08that's about right
37:12Craig could you pass the wine?
37:18Brian could you pass the wine?
37:27I'll do it myself
37:30Clark said you two go way back
37:33yeah
37:33I knew Jen
37:34before all sass
37:35no frass
37:38I rather like strong
37:40independent Jenna
37:42sass and all
37:43well
37:44any Jenna's better than
37:46no Jenna
37:47right?
37:49uh
37:50Jenna
37:51any wedding
37:52progress today?
37:54oh no
37:55we're still
37:56planning
37:57I thought you hated
37:58planning weddings
37:59people change
38:01right?
38:03right?
38:25I know you and Clark
38:27dated
38:29but
38:31were you ever in love with him?
38:36we were engaged
38:47glad to see you're still running
38:50mind if I join?
38:57may I?
39:03there
39:04there
39:05all right
39:11come on
39:25well hey
39:27it was great
39:27catching up
39:28Jen
39:30what's up
39:31Brian
39:33what's up
39:39do you make breakfast?
39:43I did
39:45that plate's for you
39:47although
39:47I see you are
39:48you got a little
39:49something left
39:51he is harmless
39:52Brian
39:53really
39:55right
39:56we're gonna be late
39:57to meet my parents
39:59you should put a shirt on
40:10oh my god
40:11it's so good
40:12do you like this?
40:13it's delicious
40:13and
40:15very good
40:20here
40:20broad guy
40:22keep
40:23Jen
40:23listening
40:23with this
40:25here you go
40:26sweetie
40:30if it isn't
40:31the happiest
40:31couple ever
40:33oh
40:35oh
40:36that's a spirit
40:44these are the
40:45board members
40:45of my company
40:46the big day
40:47is almost here
40:47are you getting
40:48excited?
40:49over the moon
40:50I just have to
40:50figure out how to
40:51smuggle a wedding
40:52cake into a
40:53courthouse
40:54no you can't get
40:56married to the
40:56courthouse
40:57Devin
40:58call the staff
40:59tell them to
41:00prepare the house
41:01for a wedding
41:02this Sunday
41:02can we at least
41:05offer you some
41:06cake?
41:06oh no no
41:08he's probably
41:09really busy
41:10very important
41:11that's what
41:11meetings going on
41:12usually very
41:15I need you to
41:16meet me at the
41:16cafe right now
41:20how are you guys
41:21doing?
41:21oh my god
41:22come right on in
41:24really good
41:24you know what
41:25I just realized
41:26we haven't heard
41:27the proposal story
41:27yet
41:28it must be
41:29amazing huh?
41:30so good
41:30please tell
41:31us about it
41:33it's actually
41:34it's a really
41:34funny story
41:35early
41:35um Clark
41:41Clark
41:42Clark
41:44I thought
41:45your name
41:46was Brian
41:50why don't
41:51you join us
41:52we're just
41:52hearing about
41:53the proposal
41:54story
41:54what if I do
41:55go on Jenna
42:01it was our
42:02anniversary
42:04and um
42:07he wrote me
42:08a poem
42:11it was so
42:12sweet
42:14masculine
42:14and hot
42:17and then he
42:18took me to
42:19a poetry
42:20reading
42:20I didn't know
42:21you liked
42:21poetry son
42:22I don't
42:23but apparently
42:24Jenna does
42:25you know
42:25ode to a fancy
42:27urn is my
42:28favorite
42:29go on babe
42:30why don't you
42:31tell the rest
42:32fine
42:32I will
42:35and then he
42:36cried
42:37and he
42:37cried
42:38and he
42:39cried
42:39and then he
42:39got down
42:40on Whitney
42:40and he
42:40proposed
42:41yeah well
42:41that's not
42:42exactly how
42:42I remember
42:43it
42:43fine
42:43then you
42:44tell them
42:49pre-wedding
42:50titters
42:53what the hell
42:54are you doing
42:54besides single
42:55handedly
42:55keeping up
42:56this narrative
42:56no I mean
42:57turning into
42:57an unrecognizable
42:58puddle the moment
42:59clerk walks
43:00into the room
43:00what are you
43:00talking about
43:01oh you know
43:01exactly what
43:02I'm talking
43:02about
43:03are you
43:03jealous
43:05no
43:05this is a
43:06contract
43:06marriage
43:06okay so
43:07then what
43:07is it
43:07you're putting
43:08us both
43:08in jeopardy
43:09do I need
43:10to remind
43:10you that I
43:11have real
43:11stakes in this
43:12my family
43:12I'm lying
43:13to them
43:13okay well
43:13I'm sorry
43:14if I don't
43:14know what
43:14you're into
43:15maybe you
43:16like poetry
43:16I don't
43:17know
43:17anything
43:18about me
43:20that is not
43:21fair
43:21it is not
43:22my job
43:23to know
43:24things about
43:24you
43:24you're right
43:26but you
43:26never tried
43:27to either
43:41came to
43:41check on you
43:42I'm fine
43:43didn't sleep
43:44I know you
43:45Jack
43:46you're not
43:46okay
43:48it's this
43:49whole wedding
43:50thing
43:51and Brian
43:52drives me
43:53nuts
43:54he does
43:55seem a little
43:55high strung
43:57yeah
43:57yes
43:58he's always
43:58like doing
43:59things for
44:00me
44:00not like
44:00in a patronizing
44:02way
44:02and like
44:02supportive
44:04way
44:04and he's
44:05ambitious
44:06and smart
44:07which is
44:08annoying
44:10and he listens
44:11to me
44:11which is
44:12so
44:13weird
44:14I can't
44:15stop
44:15thinking
44:16about
44:16you
44:18can I
44:19kiss you
44:28I'm marrying
44:28Brian in two
44:29days
44:29look
44:30I messed
44:30up
44:30I can see
44:31that now
44:31but
44:32if you
44:33have an
44:33ounce
44:33of feeling
44:34the way
44:34I feel
44:35about you
44:35then
44:36you should
44:37be mine
44:38I want
44:38to marry
44:39you
44:39what
44:42I thought
44:42you said
44:43marriage
44:44was a loss
44:44of independence
44:45it's worth
44:46it
44:46to be
44:47with a person
44:47you love
44:50yeah
44:52yeah
44:53you're right
44:58hey
44:59think about
45:00it
45:08did you buy
45:09every word
45:11sweet
45:13very sweet
45:17just play the part
45:18until she falls
45:19for you
45:19and break it off
45:20with that loser
45:20Brian
45:21then you're gonna be
45:22free to leave her
45:22again
45:23and I'll get you
45:24the rest of your money
45:25you got it
45:26I'm so glad
45:26you're again
45:27win-win for me
45:28I get paid
45:29I get some tail
45:30in the meantime
45:30I kind of forgot
45:32how hot she is
45:33I like you Clark
45:37hey hey hey
45:39we need to talk
45:42I need your help
45:44to teach someone
45:45a lesson
45:48like a team
45:50you are a team
46:00I thought you said
46:01you hated hiking
46:03well like you said
46:05people change
46:05glad you called
46:06this morning
46:07look I like Bri
46:09but no one
46:10makes me feel
46:11the way you do
46:23God I've missed you
46:29can we baby
46:31here
46:31hey
46:32I am all yours
46:34yeah
46:35do whatever you want
46:36what about Brian
46:37what about Brian
46:45I don't have to
46:46take my shoes
46:46and socks off
46:47right babe
46:47I mean
46:47there's pokey stuff
46:49everywhere
46:49that actually depends
46:51on if you want
46:52to hike down
46:52fully nude or not
46:57I think I'm gonna puke
46:59I think I'm gonna puke
47:01oh god
47:02I know this was
47:03part of the plan
47:03but watching that
47:04was truly sickening
47:05oh well at least
47:05you don't have
47:05his tongue in your mouth
47:07whoa whoa whoa
47:08what's going on
47:10we need to talk
47:11there is nothing
47:13between me and Clark
47:15there was at one time
47:16but that is over
47:18I am marrying you
47:23go to bed
47:26every time you come
47:27into my life
47:27you fuck it up
47:29you're the reason
47:30I didn't want
47:30to get married
47:31you are a
47:32pathetic
47:34impotent
47:34excuse for a man
47:37even if I hadn't
47:38seen this video
47:39of you and your
47:40little dirtbag boyfriend
47:41this morning
47:42I knew you were
47:43up to something
47:44so I strung you along
47:46until I could figure
47:46it all out
47:48thank you for coming
47:49to Jenny King's
47:49TED talk
47:50Kobe
47:51no no no
47:51oh come on
47:55that's far
47:56thanks for doing this
47:57have a nice hike down
47:59douchebag
48:00rotten hair
48:01bye
48:08oh dear
48:09you look beautiful
48:11thank you
48:12I want you to meet
48:13grandma Sandra
48:14she has something
48:15special for you
48:16grandma
48:18welcome to the family
48:21we want you to have
48:23this
48:23oh
48:24I
48:24really
48:25oh yes
48:27absolutely
48:28yes yes
48:29we insist
48:29it's an Arnhem
48:31family heirloom
48:32and we want you to know
48:34every time you look at it
48:36that you belong
48:38farming
48:39fun
48:40and family
48:42family
48:57hey now
48:58I told Jenna this already
49:01but I got the whole CEO paperwork right here
49:04now
49:05during the wedding ceremony
49:07you're gonna sign the marriage certificate
49:08but you'll also sign this
49:10make it all official
49:12welcome to married life son
49:18that's your last chance bro
49:21I know it's all lies lies lies
49:25I'm gonna make a deal for both of us
49:27so we can get what we want
49:28if you are Jenna
49:30I'll promote you to her job
49:33and I'll pay you three times the raise
49:36but if you go up
49:37and sign that deal
49:39I'm gonna make good on my promise
49:41to ruin both of you
49:42my offer stands for five more seconds
49:45five
49:47four
49:48three
49:50two
49:52you know what
49:53you're right
49:54you are very consistent
49:57consistently the biggest
49:59D-bag I have ever seen
50:02enjoy
50:02having Jenna as your new CEO
50:06bye
50:13thank you
50:14thank you
50:15that's something
51:17It, uh, looks like our pan's gonna go off without a hitch.
51:23You sure about this?
51:27Stop the wedding!
51:35Oh, my God.
51:41This marriage is a sham.
51:45As you can see in this contract right here, dated a week ago.
51:50I told you you shouldn't have given it.
51:51Not the time, Bri.
51:52They have deceived this company.
51:54And they have deceived all of you, ladies and gentlemen.
51:57Oh, my God.
52:00What's he talking about?
52:01I'm very glad you asked.
52:03In order to get promoted, Jenna right here forced her assistant, Brian, to marry her.
52:15Is this true, Jenna?
52:29You know, you would have made a really shitty lawyer.
52:32What?
52:33Look at the bottom of that page.
52:37I didn't sign that.
52:40You can wave that piece of paper around all you want.
52:44It's not gonna do anything for you.
52:46Because I made a promise to Jenna that I would marry her.
52:50And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
52:52You didn't sign the contract?
52:54Nope.
52:57So you did all of this because you're a good person.
53:06I'm sorry, I can't do this.
53:09What?
53:12You have given me so much.
53:14What are you doing?
53:15You've given me years of your life.
53:17I threatened to ruin your career.
53:20I forced you to lie to everyone.
53:24I forced you to pretend to be in love with me.
53:26You don't have to do this.
53:27You cannot stop.
53:28I'm sorry you ever met me.
53:32Wait.
53:35Wait.
53:37Just let me go.
53:39Trust me.
53:45I don't deserve to be a part of your family.
53:51You don't get to decide this.
54:06I guess she did all the dirty work to ruin both of you.
54:12That's why you'll never be CEO.
54:15What?
54:15Devin, you are an embarrassment to this company and to our family.
54:21If you insist on acting like a child, you are going to be treated as one.
54:26Go to your room and stay there.
54:30Daddy, I can explain.
54:32Please.
54:43So how you doing, son?
54:45Pretty shitty, Dad.
54:49I'm sorry I lied to y'all.
54:51You do what you have to do for true love, including never giving up.
55:01Everyone can go home.
55:02It's over.
55:03She's gone.
55:08It's not over, Brian.
55:10Go find her.
55:12So what are you waiting for, son?
55:14Yeah.
55:30Jenna, it's me.
55:35I know you're in there.
55:49Can I come in?
55:50I don't deserve this.
55:54Not after everything I've done.
55:58But you don't love me.
56:01This is all fake.
56:03I don't think you can fake the kind of connection we have.
56:06Do you?
56:08Why are you doing this?
56:10You don't need me.
56:12They offered you my position.
56:15Jenna, I quit.
56:18You what?
56:22Why?
56:23They, Devin offered you the position.
56:26That's your dream job.
56:27Why would you do that?
56:28I don't want to be anywhere you're not.
56:30Brian, I'm...
56:30Look, I know what you're going to say.
56:32Okay?
56:33Because I know you.
56:34Better than anyone else.
56:38And I also know that I love you.
56:50And I have loved you from the day that I met you, Jenna King.
56:56And even when I've hated you, which I have many, many times,
57:03I've still always been head over heels in love with you.
57:08So, what do you say?
57:11No contracts, no professional strings attached.
57:22Will you marry me?
57:25For real.
57:28I love you, Brian.
57:42Brian, do you take Jenna to be your lawful wedded wife?
57:46So this is what you wanted?
57:48To get married tonight.
57:50I do.
57:52I don't want to spend another birthday without you.
57:55And Jenna?
57:5782.
57:58You may now kiss your bride.
57:59I don't want to know.
58:07I don't want to be your heart.
58:09You may now kiss your bride.
58:12Hangin' on the line
58:17Hangin' on the line
58:27Put the script in Cayman's hands, see if he likes it.
58:30Okay, oh!
58:31Hi!
58:33Oh, hey, could you get me a coffee?
58:34What happened to our new assistant?
58:35Amy's out there at the desk.
58:37Uh, Amy, could you grab us two lattes?
58:38Sure thing, boss.
58:40I don't know, the really tall guy.
58:42Yeah.
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