- 5 hours ago
Crookhaven S01E01 (2026) [Full Movie] [Long Version]Full EP - Full
Category
š„
Short filmTranscript
00:05So here's the first thing you should know about me, I never stole from just anyone, I had rules, rule
00:12number one, they had to be rich, like, they could spare a few quid, rule number two, they had to
00:19be alone, no witnesses, oh, definitely no one with kids.
00:26Normally, I wouldn't have picked an old man, to be honest, but what can I say, we were hungry, and
00:32he was the perfect mark, posh, alone, distracted.
00:41Oh, sorry, sir, should look where I'm going, let me help you.
00:45I think not.
00:47My bad.
00:51It was too easy.
00:58I guess I should have known.
01:01Look, I know coppers have a dodgy rep these days, but they seem like one of the good ones.
01:06So I was thinking we could just all call this an honest mistake?
01:10I'm arresting you for theft, you do not have to say it.
01:12Wait, there's actually one tiny little thing that I would like to say.
01:21Wait!
01:22Wait!
01:23Get back here!
01:26Wait!
01:27Get back here!
01:30Stop right there!
01:38Right here!
01:44Everything!
01:48ŠŃŃ!
01:54I'm sorry!
01:56Look at this!
02:12I can't believe you're on 40 this time, honestly.
02:15You and Scratchguards, what's your secret?
02:17Guess I was just born lucky.
02:22Someday soon, we're going to eat like this every night.
02:25Not every night.
02:26Look at me here.
02:27We're going to live in a caravan by the sea.
02:29You're going to have to clean for those.
02:31Stupid mercies.
02:33I'm going to give you the life you deserve.
02:36I swear.
02:40What are you up to?
02:42It's us against the world, right, Grandma?
02:45Always.
02:50What is it, honey?
02:51My coin.
02:52My lucky coin.
03:17We can retrace our stout.
03:22No, I'll turn it.
03:44I'll turn it.
03:44Where am I?
03:45I'll turn it.
03:53No!
03:56No!
03:58No!
03:59No!
04:00No!
04:02No!
04:02No!
04:04No!
04:06No!
04:06No!
04:07No!
04:07No, no, no, no!
04:15Look, this is Wuhan.
04:17Like, nice job, bro. Now we're stranded in an actual wasteland.
04:20Well, given the tactical choice between this and police custody, I just thought...
04:24What?
04:28Who are you?
04:29Could ask you the exact same question.
04:33Where you going? We're in the middle of a conversation here?
04:36Rude.
04:41Just out of interest, you weren't told to, like, board a train by, say, a cryptic message on your computer.
04:47Word to the wise.
04:48When you got that message, you weren't hypothetically maybe engaged in something ethically challenging.
04:54What if I was?
04:56Look, man, it sounds like we're both brung here by the same evil genius.
05:00So don't it kind of make sense to share what we know?
05:02Well, all I know is, whoever this is, I need to take back what they stole.
05:07Didn't stole nothing from us.
05:08And do whatever it takes to stop them grassing me up.
05:11Otherwise, my life is basically over.
05:36This was a bad idea.
05:38A bunch of kids walk through the woods.
05:41That's literally the plot of every horror movie ever made.
05:44Hey, mystery man.
05:46How do you even know you're going the right way?
05:48He doesn't.
05:48He's about 45 degrees off course.
05:50Look, I saw a glitch from the GPS.
05:53It's like the whole area just deleted from the map.
05:57That's where we're heading, no?
05:59You're hackers.
06:00What makes you say that?
06:02Jigs up, bro.
06:03Mazzle fest.
06:05There you go.
06:05We are actually the brothers' crim.
06:07Amade?
06:08Zede.
06:10The brothers' crim?
06:13B-hacking legends?
06:14No?
06:17And you are?
06:19The signal's just gone.
06:21Someone blocked it.
06:22Look, the screen's just died.
06:33This whole thing's a trap.
06:34That phone is not going to be the only thing that's there to you.
06:37We're lost.
06:39In the middle of a wood.
06:40No way of calling for help.
06:41No one even knows we're here.
06:44Except...
06:44Them.
06:47Whoever them even is.
07:00It's a maze.
07:01This whole wood's a maze.
07:03Yeah, right.
07:04Toast a maze.
07:05It's not a trap.
07:08It's a test.
07:10Come on.
07:11I know where to go.
07:12Let's go.
07:24Woo!
07:25Level one complete.
07:27Power up.
07:28Sorry, how exactly did you do that?
07:31I'm lucky.
07:31Yes.
07:38Where place to put a statue?
07:41Ezekiel Locket.
07:421781 to 1857.
07:45What's up with Ezekiel?
07:48We have help here?
08:03Wanna hear a joke?
08:04How many kids does it take to open a door?
08:07One to pick the lock.
08:08And the other three to stand around like morons.
08:11You will not brought us here.
08:13Clearly not, dude.
08:14I'm in the same kayak as you.
08:15Word to the wise.
08:21Followed your sense of station.
08:2412.3 miles.
08:26We were being followed.
08:27Knew it.
08:29Why not show your face till now?
08:30I assumed this was a trap.
08:32And you would all die horribly.
08:39Nope.
08:41It's a decoy.
08:43Where lock must be hidden.
08:52Metal gun.
08:54Why is he pointing at the wall?
08:55Not as dumb as you look.
09:03Oh, duh.
09:04Totally different colour.
09:10Watch and learn, suckers.
09:35Hey!
09:36I'm awake!
09:36I'm awake!
09:37I'm awake!
09:38I'm o...
09:38Oh!
09:40Head rush.
09:43Hang on.
09:45Four years.
09:47Together already?
09:48I wasn't expecting you for hours.
09:50Right then.
09:51Give me a hand, would you?
09:53Yeah, right.
09:53We'll just get on some random boat.
09:55Weird looking stranger.
09:58Maybe start with who you are.
09:59And why we're here.
10:01First one's easy.
10:03I'm Mickey.
10:04But I'm not at liberty to tell you the rest.
10:07Just supposed to ferry folk to the island.
10:10What's on the island?
10:12Your future.
10:19But where we were going wasn't just our future.
10:24We were heading for a whole new world.
10:27A million miles from the one we knew.
10:30A world I'd never have believed even existed.
10:35Until I saw it with my own two eyes.
10:41Welcome to Crookhaven!
10:51Welcome to Crookhaven!
10:55Right, you lot can't be surrender all electric devices.
10:58Be like cutting my arm off.
11:00Really? That can be arranged some.
11:06Give me eight.
11:07Dude, it's a camera.
11:10I'm not gonna make any calls on it.
11:12Right, look lively.
11:13Come along, keep it moving.
11:15Let's go!
11:16Let's go!
11:17Let's go!
11:18Let's go!
11:28Let's go!
11:34Let's go!
11:37Let's go!
11:39Let's go!
11:42Let's go!
11:57Let's go!
12:00Get this on charge.
12:01Yes, sir.
12:01Let the gaffer know we have all four of these guests.
12:04We'll have to stay.
12:04We'll have to stay.
12:06We'll have to stay.
12:06We'll be...
12:11We'll have to stay.
12:12I understand about catching flies.
12:14Come on.
12:15In your truck.
12:33We're just crawled in there it's got to be a reek of it we should make him feel at home
12:47the motive governs the meat that's our credo sorry this must all seem very confusing overwhelming
12:56but come we'll explain everything so this is a school crookhaven's not just a school it's the
13:04world's oldest academy for crooks and the most exclusive in theory all crooklings must register
13:11within five minutes or we'll assume you're a hostile internet how does this make sense i mean
13:16they get us here by threatening to grasp us to the cops and i want to teach us to be
13:20criminals not
13:22criminals crooks that's the whole point we only use our skills to do right how do i put this in
13:27a way
13:28that even a merit can understand um criminals baddies us goodies what's a merit thank you edgar
13:37we'll take it from here my pleasure whisper at miss jericho always happy to help see you later
13:43all deception classes are cancelled with me this way hold on wait a second
13:49whisper whisper whisper we got hacked by a whisper ain't no other for my sins i teach cyber intrusion
13:58i teach infiltration sorry just to be clear so you use your skills to do right does that mean
14:06you work for like the government it's a complex symbiosis officially we don't exist unofficially
14:13we've been vital to global security for almost 200 years um
14:24and we just entered the fifth dimension from twins to octuplets bro like quintillion nerds
14:29bad enough seeing you guys in one mirror this is my own personal help
14:34what is this we call it the specularium it's a shortcut and an escape route and
14:43a vital training course to hone your spatial orientation an elite crook needs all six senses
14:52to be on point why do you need an escape room why wouldn't we i still don't get why we're
14:57here
14:57why us the crooked complex keeps constant lookout for fresh blood the four of you were handpicked
15:07five out of thousands for your skills crucially you guys only ever steal for the right reasons
15:16this way time to meet the big guy
15:25my apologies i had hoped to welcome you in person but you completed your tasks far sooner than expected
15:32caspian locket your new headmaster and of course i know fine well who you are
15:37ade and eddie korra jia u and gabriel avery may i introduce mr karp our head of deception
15:53it was you a posh bloke
15:58and you you weren't even a copper that was quite the getaway
16:01the past 24 hours has been a test happily you passed
16:07here you all are
16:10whisper and miss jericho to the armory please
16:13you let me think i was going to jail
16:15that was the idea
16:16you stole from me you stole from me sir
16:20you set all that up
16:23disguise the fake cop
16:25for me
16:26we'd have done whatever it took
16:27just one thing mr locket sir
16:29we sincerely appreciate the offer but
16:32our parents aren't exactly going to be down with the idea of us coming to a school for
16:36crims
16:37crims gentlemen crooks
16:39naturally you will stay undercover for the rest of your lives
16:42you can't ask us to do that
16:44for them to learn the truth could be lethal
16:47we have some very dangerous enemies
16:55you're concerned about your grandmother
16:58don't be we've spoken
16:59you've done what
17:00same goes for all of you
17:01what did you tell her
17:03as far as they're concerned you're sitting an exam for st jude's academy right now
17:07should you accept you'll tell them you've been offered a full scholarship starting at once
17:11take tonight
17:13consider
17:15carefully
17:23i don't need time to consider
17:25there's no way i can leave my grandma
17:28that's not gonna happen
17:30i'll just take my coin and go
17:33thanks for the same
17:34you disappoint me mr ravery
17:37but i'm afraid you can't leave now
17:39the woods are far from safe after dark
17:42first thing tomorrow
17:43unless you change your mind
17:45i won't
17:49i can't
17:50sir
17:57reminder to students in the mess
17:59please recycle all packaging
18:01from return to stolen cutlery to the kitchen
18:04silverware is not for skullduggan practice
18:09i know that look
18:11i was you once
18:12but trust me it's mad how soon it feels like home
18:16thanks but
18:17i have a home
18:20that's penelope
18:21the ultimate legacy
18:23legacy?
18:25yeah you and i amig we're merits
18:27we're here for one reason and one reason only
18:29because we're fire
18:31keep telling yourself that leon
18:33but most crooks like isabella here
18:35are legacies
18:36our parents or our grandparents were here
18:39some of us go back generations
18:40seven
18:42in my case
18:43we met earlier
18:46edgar delicum
18:47this is dorian
18:49mccartha
18:50only third gen
18:52and uh
18:53you are
18:54gabriel avery
18:55and merit
18:57good for you
18:58look forward to seeing what you can do in class
19:00well i hate to disappoint you edgar
19:02but i won't be sticking around
19:04sorry but you've been offered a place at crookhaven
19:07and you're gonna turn it down so you can
19:08what
19:09go back to shoplifting
19:11stealing bikes
19:14that's a good one
19:15alright dorian
19:16it wasn't a joke
19:18thanks
19:19now i met you
19:21and now i've made the right decision
19:32so you don't just walk straight in
19:34hand into them on a stolen platter
19:36big bunch of nabble babies
19:38that's fundamentally inequitable
19:40bro
19:40we're still a part of this
19:42we get to study cyber intrusion
19:43and deception
19:44and scorduggery
19:45and at the end of it
19:46we get to be a part of a secret network
19:48that's going to make us rich
19:49you mean help defeat criminals
19:51and restore justice
19:52yeah that's in most
19:53none of you guys bothered by the whole
19:55lying to your families forever thing
19:57your grandma know you're still
19:59yeah you're joking
20:00so what's the difference
20:02that's a little why lying this
20:04i mean this would be a whole secret life
20:12you know why i'm taking top bunk
20:15you know why i hate your house
20:16not like i do
20:17which one of us fainted on the eiffel tower bro
20:19only cause you had eaten in like an hour
20:21that doesn't count
20:23gabriel
20:24it's not all this for you
20:27iron
20:29as it sells
20:32so
20:35like it's stolen it again
20:36what is it
20:37my coin
20:38why am i the only one who keeps robbing
20:40hold the phone
20:43you're saying
20:44the thing you came all this way for
20:47risked your life for
20:50was a coin
20:50not just any coin
20:56yeah
21:00and
21:01they're lying
21:03i
21:04i
21:04i
21:07I don't know.
21:34Why are you spying on me, Avery?
21:36I wasn't spying, I was looking for...
21:38Who?
21:39Lock it.
21:43Why?
21:47Because he's a thieving con-eye.
21:49Show some respect, that's your headmaster.
21:51No, actually, because I'm not staying.
21:54So, to me, he's just some stuck-up guy in an itchy suit
21:57who likes playing mind games with kids.
22:00It's pretty messed up, when you think about it.
22:02You're talking about the greatest crook of his generation.
22:06Big whoop.
22:07Happy for him.
22:08Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be here?
22:12And you're just going to throw it away?
22:17So ungrateful.
22:19So ignorant.
22:21What they even see in you.
22:24Not bad.
22:26To be fair.
22:30But there's something off.
22:32I just can't quite put my...
22:33Thanks, but I need a critique from someone like you.
22:39Word of warning, don't go marching up to locket office.
22:42Won't end well for you.
22:43Thanks, but I don't need advice from someone like you.
22:54It's the eyes that are greener than that one.
23:00Hello.
23:15Hello.
23:17Hi.
23:31Evening, Mr. Avery.
23:37What do you want with me?
23:39The first time is to get you here, the second time to keep you here.
23:43I already told you, I can't.
23:45How is stealing my coin going to change that?
23:47By showing how much you have to learn.
23:52I'll know when I need to.
23:53You're a blunt instrument.
23:54You didn't pause to consider why I had taken your coin, or the smartest way to retrieve it.
23:58You just went stomping blindly through the school like a man possessed, telegraphing your weakness.
24:03What weakness?
24:04You see everyone as a threat.
24:08You're a dodgy, posh bloke.
24:09He likes blackmailing kids.
24:12You are a threat.
24:17Coin police, sir.
24:19I'm not here to threaten you, Gabriel.
24:22I'm here to save you.
24:24Save me from what?
24:26I can't bear to see talent go to waste.
24:29It would be a tragedy for you to spend the rest of your life as a petty criminal.
24:33When I could come here and be a professional criminal?
24:36I'm not a criminal, Avery.
24:38A crook.
24:38They steal, we restore.
24:39They destroy, we repair.
24:41We'll give you the skills to beat criminals at their own game.
24:44Right now, you're good.
24:45With our help, you could be great.
24:48Or you could go back to being a nobody.
24:52You don't know what my life is.
24:53On the contrary, I know everything about you, right down to how much vinegar you like on
24:58your chips.
24:59Far too much, in my opinion.
25:01I know you have a deep sense of right and wrong, and I know that you long to save your
25:05grandmother from those despicable Merciers.
25:07But tell me this, how many pockets would you have to pick to buy that caravan by the sea?
25:12How much help would you be in a young offenders' institute?
25:14Because the next time you're arrested, it won't be Mr. Khan.
25:21My coin.
25:23Now.
25:28Please.
25:34Well, I see I'm not going to change your mind.
25:37Well, perhaps you should call her, or she'll be worried.
26:00Goodbye, sir.
26:08Why didn't you mention this St. Jude's place?
26:12What happened so fast?
26:14I didn't have time to explain.
26:15Well, no, you don't have to.
26:17Mr. Lockett came to see me.
26:20Told me everything.
26:22How he persuaded the police not to press charges.
26:24How he runs a school that turns kids' lives around.
26:27No, that's not true.
26:28Oh, enough, Gabriel.
26:31No more lies.
26:32You found the box in your cupboard.
26:35Eight hundred quid, a stolen money.
26:38And to think that I fell for all that stuff about scratch cards, you must think I'm so stupid.
26:42No.
26:43No, I just wanted to help.
26:44Help?
26:45There's crowing everything.
26:47Grandma, listen.
26:48No.
26:48You listen.
26:50You're the one good thing that's happened to me.
26:52The last thing I want is to see you go into some boarding school.
26:56But if they offer you a place, then you take it.
26:59For your future's sake.
27:00Now, what about your future?
27:06Today's crooked value is cheating.
27:09Remember, cheat, but never cheat your friends.
27:11Gabriel, wait up.
27:15You were serious, then, about leaving?
27:17I thought maybe it was a bluff for Edgar's benefit.
27:23I promised my grandmother I'd never steal again.
27:27She begged me to stay here.
27:29But staying here means lying to steal.
27:32Lying to her.
27:33This is Crookhaven, amigo.
27:36Nothing's as simple as right or wrong.
27:39Here you go, see?
27:41Oh, it's not so frightening, huh?
27:43There you go, Amir.
27:45That gone solid, bro.
27:47Best of luck now.
27:49You keep that chin up.
27:51Come on.
27:52It's time to watch the baby crooklings embarrass themselves.
27:54What's she mean?
27:55Oh, the Crooked Oak.
27:57Trust me, you don't want to miss this.
27:59You can get the boat later if you still want to leave.
28:09I thought you weren't sticking around.
28:11I made up my mind.
28:13Well, you'd better decide soon.
28:14Because once your arrow hits the oak, there's no going back.
28:19For what it's worth, I really hope you stay.
28:24Congrats, I close you, right?
28:30Look, isn't that a mirror to one?
28:33When did she arrive?
28:36Never thought she had the nerve to show her face.
28:38Her brother is a traitor.
28:40Shock him.
28:41Crooklings!
28:42My name is Mr. VelƔzquez.
28:44It's my honor to teach skullduggery.
28:47You stand where I once stood.
28:50At the start of a long and crooked path.
28:53Once you become crooklings, you will be bound by our sacred values.
28:59Steal, but not from those in need.
29:02Cheat, but never cheat your friends.
29:06Lie, but never to yourself.
29:10From this moment, you are all in competition for this.
29:15The Crooked Cup.
29:16A chance to have your name engraved beside the greatest crooks in history.
29:23For a young crook, there is no higher honor.
29:26No greater way to announce yourself as a talent to be ready.
29:29Every Delacoon has won it since 1910.
29:32Dad's had been practicing five years for this.
29:33I won't let him down.
29:35It's yours to lose, Edgar.
29:36Last holidays, I helped put some bad people away.
29:40Never known a feeling like it.
29:41To this day, each new crookling accepts their place by firing a silver-tipped arrow with your name inscribed upon
29:55it.
29:55How are we supposed to bust out some mad archery skills?
29:58The motive governs the means, Gabriel.
30:02It's not about what you do.
30:06It's about why.
30:07Whoever comes closest to hitting Ezekiel's original arrowhead will win themselves five fucking points.
30:16But because we are a soft touch, we will allow you the best of two.
30:21So, crooklings, step forward and collect your arrow.
30:27Good luck.
30:29May your aim be true.
30:35I want you to know your name is poison and your presence is an insult.
30:41Guessing you're Edgar Delacoon, they warned me about you.
30:45They were right to.
30:48Made a decision yet?
30:50Guess.
30:57Oh dear.
30:58Wrong tree, Mr. Okoro.
31:01After that shockingly poor start, let's hope the next two crooklings fare better.
31:09Hey, at least we hit tree.
31:11Our next two crooklings are Penelope Lockett.
31:17Lockett.
31:18As in.
31:19As in.
31:20The headmaster's daughter.
31:21And Gabriel Avery.
31:24So, we have a merit versus a legacy.
31:27I thought we agreed.
31:28Raw talent needs nurturing, Diego.
31:31This is the best place for him.
31:32Let's be honest.
31:34It's you against me.
31:35Merit doesn't stand a chance.
31:37Neither do you, Edgar.
31:38Please, step forward.
31:45Ever held a bow before?
31:46How hard can it be?
31:51Make me proud.
31:52When have I not?
32:08Penelope, please retrieve your arrow.
32:13She's good.
32:14I'm better.
32:18I'm better.
32:20So, now you say, we're holding this.
33:06How hard can it be?
33:07Okay. Our next two crooklings are Edgar Delecoux and Gia Wu.
33:28Should I tell you how to hold it? No, I'll figure it out.
33:42I'm Chinese doofus. Archery's in my DNA.
33:45Bravo, Gia. A remarkable first shot, especially for a merit.
33:51A little wide. That's a breeze. I'll recalibrate.
33:55You can't get beat by a medic.
33:59Come on, Edgar!
34:14You can't get beat by a medic.
34:31What the hell, Duan?
34:32You were aiming more at her.
34:34I was lining up the target. You made me shoot when you barged into me.
34:37You didn't ever shoot someone on purpose.
34:39I guess the rumours about you are true.
34:41You're no legacy.
34:43Arrow! Bring me Gia's arrow!
34:45Stay where you are.
34:49Move! Move!
34:55Okay, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. You okay?
34:59You okay? You sure? We'll go. Okay.
35:04I'm afraid after that unedifying spectacle, Amira has forfeited her turn.
35:10Interfering with another crookling shot is strictly forbidden.
35:12I mean, you can't be serious.
35:15Delacoon's the one who should be disqualified.
35:16He tried to shoot Gia.
35:18Amira's the one who saved her.
35:20Hey, don't be a bad sport, Gabriel.
35:22Just because your arrow barely hit the tree.
35:25It was an accident. Duan knocked into me.
35:49I believe our winner is Edgar Delacone.
35:53I wouldn't be so sure.
35:57Meaning?
35:58Do you check the name on the arrow before you fired it?
36:06Mr Lockett, sir, you can't...
36:21The name on the arrow is...
36:24Gabriel Avery!
36:28I want you to know your name is poison.
36:31And your presence is an insult.
36:34Guessing you're Edgar Delacone.
36:35They warned me about you.
36:39The master.
36:43The rules state the arrow closest to the mark wins.
36:48This arrow has Gabriel Avery's name on it.
36:57Don't be a bad sport Edgar.
37:00Just because your arrow barely hit the tree.
37:02That's not fair.
37:03He's making a mockery out of the crooked oak.
37:04How can you let him do this?
37:05He beat you.
37:07Deal with it.
37:13Oh, I'll deal with it.
37:17So you're staying?
37:20Looks that way.
37:22All it took was me almost getting shot.
37:31Good night, Brookhaven.
37:32Sweet dreams.
38:14Another year begins, Caspian.
38:17Another class of eager young cooklings.
38:19He did brainwash.
38:21But...
38:22A word to the wise.
38:25There's a storm...
38:27Coming.
38:28A storm you...
38:30Can't escape.
38:32And you only have yourself to blame.
38:35So that's how it all began.
38:36I picked his pocket.
38:38He picked mine.
38:40I went to get my lucky coin back and...
38:43Next thing I knew...
38:45I was a crookling.
38:47New tie.
38:48New jacket.
38:50New life.
38:53It felt like...
38:55Maybe my lucky coin had finally brought me some real luck.
38:59Except of course it wasn't luck that brought me here, was it?
39:03It was Caspian Locket.
39:06And when your headmaster and everyone in your school is a crook...
39:11The first lesson you learn...
39:16Trust no one.
39:20What has Caspian started?
39:22You're not one of us.
39:23You don't belong here.
39:25I have to utterly humiliate him.
39:27I'm not here to make friends.
39:28I'm here to win.
39:29Game on.
39:30There's a storm...
39:32Coming.
39:33The Nameless.
39:36What's the Nameless?
39:37An enemy that hates everything Crookhaven stands for!
39:40You'll put the entire crooked network in danger!
39:43Wow!
39:43Gabriel, get out!
39:45They already have our blood on their hands.
39:47And they'll burn this place to the ground.
39:49Listen up, Lucas, we need your help!
39:51Who cleans, assemble!
39:53Leaving so soon.
39:56I thought I was here because I was good!
39:59This is Crookhaven.
40:00Everyone's hiding something.
40:07We're crooks.
40:08We're crooks.
40:09Honesty's overrated.
Comments