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#video #Trevor Noah Joy In The Trenches 2026 #moviehot2026 #trendingmovie
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00:00:08What an interesting time it's been.
00:00:12Mm-hmm.
00:00:15I'm gonna be honest with all of you.
00:00:17I had a very different show planned.
00:00:21Yeah, very, very different show.
00:00:23In fact, when I planned this show in Washington, D.C.,
00:00:27I had a very different relationship with the White House at that time.
00:00:33I had a whole different set planned.
00:00:35I was gonna tell you some jokes about me playing pickleball.
00:00:38And, uh, yeah, life happened.
00:00:43For those who don't know how it came to be,
00:00:46uh, I'll try and tell you how it unfolded.
00:00:49I was hosting the Grammy Awards.
00:00:59It was a good time.
00:01:01Really good time.
00:01:02And then it wasn't.
00:01:05I hosted the show.
00:01:07Had to catch a flight back to the East Coast
00:01:09to come and do shows, right?
00:01:13And I don't connect to the Wi-Fi whenever I'm traveling.
00:01:16I just like to relax.
00:01:18And landed in Boston.
00:01:20And the first time I knew my life had changed
00:01:25was when someone walked past me on the plane
00:01:28as I was packing my-my laptop bag.
00:01:31And he just held me on the shoulder, and he's like,
00:01:33Trevor, you fight.
00:01:36You got this. Fight. Come on. You got this.
00:01:40He's like, did I look like I was struggling that much?
00:01:46Walking through the airport,
00:01:47people were giving me random thumbs-ups of support.
00:01:50Like, yeah. Come on. You got this.
00:01:52Yeah. Hey, yeah.
00:01:55Except black people. Black people were like, hey, man.
00:02:01And then I turned on my phone.
00:02:03And honestly, I thought the thing was- was- was malfunctioning.
00:02:07Because it started vibrating even before the icons popped up.
00:02:10It was the Apple logo, and my phone was just like-
00:02:14Like, what the hell?
00:02:15And then when I turned it on, it was just notifications everywhere.
00:02:17I was like, oh, man. Did Michael Jackson die again?
00:02:19What happened?
00:02:20What is going on?
00:02:21Because every app- every app was going crazy.
00:02:24It was like, iMessage, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.
00:02:26WhatsApp, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:02:27Twitter, blah, blah, Instagram, blah, blah, blah.
00:02:29Even Uber Eats was like, yo, you got some hot shit coming in, man.
00:02:35And I went to my messages, and everyone I've ever known in my life
00:02:39had texted me. Every- from kindergarten teachers onwards.
00:02:42Trevor, oh, my God. Are you okay?
00:02:44Trevor, where are you? What's happening?
00:02:45Did you see? Did you see?
00:02:46Trevor, call me. Call me. Call me. Call me.
00:02:47Yo, don't call me. Call me.
00:02:49Trevor, what's happening? Trevor, did you see?
00:02:51And then one person was like, oh, my God.
00:02:52Did you see what Trump said?
00:02:54And I was like, what- what did Trump say?
00:02:56What did Trump say this time?
00:02:59Oh, boy. Let me check. What did Trump say?
00:03:01Me?
00:03:05Yeah, it hits different when you're in the crosshairs. I'm not gonna lie.
00:03:13It's pretty crazy. I, uh, I hosted The Daily Show for seven years.
00:03:17And for seven years, we covered news and politics in America, right?
00:03:25Because that's what the show is.
00:03:27And in that time, Donald Trump was in the news and politics all the time,
00:03:31and so I assumed at some point maybe he would say something about me
00:03:33or come after me. He didn't, which I was happy about.
00:03:35I was like, great.
00:03:36You know, and then I left The Daily Show,
00:03:39and I relaxed like an idiot in a horror movie.
00:03:44And I went off and started hosting the Grammys.
00:03:46And I was like, this is delightful. It's a music show.
00:03:49So much more chill.
00:03:51Turns out the president watches the Grammys.
00:03:54Yeah, and he was not happy.
00:03:56He was not happy at all.
00:03:58No, uh, he had written a post, a lengthy post,
00:04:03giving me a Google review of my performance.
00:04:10And it wasn't, it wasn't like a, like a flyby.
00:04:12It was like a full-on, I'll read the full thing to you,
00:04:16because I don't want to misquote anything.
00:04:17I'll read you, this is, this is what I saw
00:04:22when I, when I searched my name and his.
00:04:25Um, it was a post on Truth Social
00:04:29from at Real Donald Trump.
00:04:32Fun aside, Donald Trump owns Truth Social.
00:04:35So it's a little weird that he doesn't have at Donald Trump.
00:04:39It's weird that somebody else got it, and then he was like,
00:04:41fine, real Donald Trump.
00:04:44Anyway, uh, this is, this is what the message read.
00:04:47Um, the Grammy Awards are the WORST!
00:04:53Every time I shout, it's because the word is in all caps.
00:04:55I'm trying to give you a feeling of what I was experiencing.
00:04:57Right?
00:05:00Virtually unwatchable.
00:05:01So some parts were good.
00:05:02CBS is lucky not to have this garbage litter there airwaves any longer.
00:05:06The host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be.
00:05:14That's a bit bitchy.
00:05:19Like, I know what he was trying to do,
00:05:23but I don't think he did it correctly.
00:05:24You can't say, the host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be.
00:05:32Because that is exactly who I may be.
00:05:37I understand he was trying to dismiss me,
00:05:39but you've said my full name and my job title on the night.
00:05:44You can't be dismissive and be vague and specific at the same time.
00:05:48That's not how that works.
00:05:52Whoever he may be, I be nobody else.
00:05:57There is no may in this equation.
00:05:59That is exactly who I be.
00:06:01Trevor Noah, the host, social security number 457-6728-135.
00:06:05Whoever he may be.
00:06:07No, that is me.
00:06:09It's weird.
00:06:10Like, you don't use that phrase when you know the person.
00:06:12Whoever he may be.
00:06:13You use that phrase when a stranger has ridden through your town
00:06:17and deflowered your daughter.
00:06:18That's when you use the phrase.
00:06:19I'm going to kill that man, whoever he may be.
00:06:25It's also funny to switch to feudal English in the middle of a message.
00:06:30Right?
00:06:30It's like, whoever he may be, fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a South African.
00:06:43It's random.
00:06:45So he says, yeah, the host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be, is almost as bad as Jimmy Kimmel.
00:06:55Yo, poor Jimmy, I like Jimmy Kimmel.
00:06:57And now, because of me, he's catching strays.
00:07:00Like, he was at home, minding his own business.
00:07:04Doesn't even work on Sundays.
00:07:06All of a sudden, his phone is like...
00:07:10This is almost as bad as Jimmy Kimmel at the Low Ratings Academy Awards.
00:07:15Then he goes on.
00:07:16Noah said, incorrectly, about me, that Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island.
00:07:26Wrong!
00:07:29Now, just so we're on the same page, I did not say Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on
00:07:35Epstein Island.
00:07:35I did not say that.
00:07:36I made a joke at the Grammys.
00:07:38One of many random jokes that I made.
00:07:41This one came after Billie Eilish had just won Song of the Year.
00:07:45And I said, congratulations, Billie Eilish, Song of the Year.
00:07:49That is an award that every artist wants almost as much as Donald Trump wants Greenland.
00:07:57Because, now that Jeffrey Epstein is gone, he needs a new island where he can go hang out with Bill
00:08:02Clinton.
00:08:04Okay?
00:08:05That's what I said.
00:08:05That's what I said.
00:08:08I did not say he was on the island.
00:08:11I said that he would like his own island.
00:08:13Clearly a joke as well, because he wouldn't go with Bill Clinton, right?
00:08:17And Greenland is a terrible substitute for Epstein Island.
00:08:20Completely different climate, completely different vibe.
00:08:22Alright?
00:08:24And Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island.
00:08:27WRONG!
00:08:29I can't speak for Bill.
00:08:35I love how in the midst of him, like, calling me the ultimate liar, he's like, this guy's a liar!
00:08:39Except about the Bill part, we gotta check that out, I mean...
00:08:42I mean, you know how this guy is.
00:08:45But I have never been to Epstein Island, nor anywhere close.
00:08:50That's unnecessary.
00:08:51The proximity to Epstein Island is not what people are litigating.
00:08:54Right?
00:08:55It's your proximity to the man who owned Epstein Island.
00:08:58It's not the land that's an issue.
00:09:00You know? It's not like, where were you in the Caribbean? Epstein Island?
00:09:03No, Jamaica. Busted!
00:09:05No.
00:09:07Nor anywhere close.
00:09:08And until tonight's false and defamatory statement, have never been accused of being there.
00:09:14Really?
00:09:16I was the first?
00:09:18Before me, no one had ever mentioned Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein.
00:09:22I was the first.
00:09:24I am the reason his name is mentioned 5,000 times in those files.
00:09:28I set those dominoes into place, and I tipped them over.
00:09:36Yeah, not even by the fake news media.
00:09:39Noah, a total loser, better get his fat straight, and get them straight fast.
00:09:44It looks like I'll be sending my lawyers to sue this poor, pathetic, talentless dope of an MC.
00:09:51And suing him for plenty. Cha-ching!
00:09:54He put a dollar sign. I don't know what sound that is.
00:09:56Ask little George Slopadopoulos and others how that all worked out.
00:10:00Also, ask CBS.
00:10:02Get ready, Noah.
00:10:04I'm going to have some fun with you.
00:10:09President DJT.
00:10:28You know, if-if you're not trying to sound like a sexual deviant...
00:10:39This is not the line I would recommend.
00:10:43Yeah, I'm gonna have some fun with you.
00:10:46Is what someone says right after they've strapped on the head dildo.
00:11:00So yeah, that was my Monday.
00:11:04And I'll be honest, I wasn't-I wasn't too worried.
00:11:08You know, Donald Trump watches TV regularly, gets angry about what he sees, posts about it, and often times he
00:11:13moves on.
00:11:15I thought something else would come along, right?
00:11:17Because in many ways, he's like a-he's like a squirrel that watches TV.
00:11:21You know, he'll be fully...
00:11:25Yeah, same size hands.
00:11:29Um...
00:11:29So, I was like, it'll move. It'll change.
00:11:33And it did, it did.
00:11:34The next day, the big topic in the White House was the government shutdown.
00:11:39It was a looming government shutdown.
00:11:41Because you know America's government is always on the edge of shutting down.
00:11:45I mean, at this point, I think you guys should switch to a family plan, right?
00:11:48Well, month-to-month thing is not working out.
00:11:51But they were-they were interviewing the president about this.
00:11:54This is a serious topic.
00:11:56And in the middle of a conversation about the government shutdown,
00:12:00some journalist from the back of the room shouts out,
00:12:04Mr. President, are you gonna sue Trevor Noah for what he said at the Grammys?
00:12:11Oh my dick!
00:12:15I was gone!
00:12:18Yeah, I always wondered what happened to that kid who was like,
00:12:20Oh, teacher, he forgot to give us the homework!
00:12:26Then Trump went back in.
00:12:28Oh yeah, Trevor Noah said I was on Epstein.
00:12:30Gonna sue him. Total lightweight. Loser.
00:12:32Yeah.
00:12:33And so now, I might be getting sued by the President of the United States.
00:12:39Yeah.
00:12:43I-I don't know. I don't know if it's a woo. I don't know if it's a ooh. I don't...
00:12:47No, I'll be honest with you.
00:12:48I don't know how to feel.
00:12:51Because I don't know how this will play out.
00:12:55If it was a normal time, I'd be pretty confident.
00:12:58Donald Trump would sue me.
00:13:00A judge would throw it out for a multitude of reasons.
00:13:03Well, you know, First Amendment protections, free expression, jokes, satire.
00:13:07All of these things are covered in a regular time.
00:13:11And it would be Donald Trump suing me. Whatever.
00:13:13But now it's not Donald Trump.
00:13:14Now I'm being sued by the President of the United States.
00:13:19Donald Trump.
00:13:20And I don't know what that means.
00:13:22Do I appeal? Do I appeal?
00:13:24We get to the Supreme Court.
00:13:26I walk in, he's waiting there for me.
00:13:29He's like, say hello to my little friends.
00:13:37Yes.
00:13:38I don't know.
00:13:41Nobody knows.
00:13:43Yeah, with him, there is no knowing.
00:13:49Just ask Nicolas Maduro.
00:13:53Former President of Venezuela and current inmate of New York City.
00:14:00Yeah.
00:14:01He was President of Venezuela.
00:14:04And then all of a sudden, he wasn't.
00:14:06The story is even crazier.
00:14:09What happened was, and you can go check this yourself.
00:14:11What happened was, Nicolas Maduro was on TV giving an interview.
00:14:16And then he joked about how people are threatening him alluding to Donald Trump.
00:14:20And he was like, man, I'll be fine. We'll be good.
00:14:22And then he played a song, No War, Just Peace.
00:14:25And then he started mocking Trump by doing Donald Trump's dance move.
00:14:31Like the move, singular.
00:14:34Right? Yeah, he did the move.
00:14:35So he came on and then he did the...
00:14:39You know the move, the double jerk off.
00:14:55And Trump saw that and he was like, go get that man.
00:15:00Go get that man.
00:15:03Military went, got Maduro, brought him in.
00:15:05Put him in a jail. Not just any prison, by the way.
00:15:07They put him in a prison in Brooklyn.
00:15:09The same prison where they are housing Diddy.
00:15:14Imagine that.
00:15:16I thought I had problems.
00:15:19Nicolas Maduro, that, I mean, he's having...
00:15:21Whoo.
00:15:23Imagine the irony of his situation.
00:15:26He was witnessing America.
00:15:28Rolling out the most brutal deportation campaign ever.
00:15:34And in the midst of that, you're the one immigrant they import.
00:15:47Maduro's probably the only immigrant who supports us.
00:15:50Yeah, he used his one phone call for them.
00:15:52He's like, hello ice, come get me man, come get me.
00:15:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:56No, no, come on, I'll fly myself.
00:15:57Let's work together.
00:15:58Come on, we can do this guys.
00:15:59We can do this.
00:16:04That's why I say, you don't know how it's gonna go.
00:16:06Nobody knows anymore.
00:16:08What a crazy twist of fate.
00:16:10Can you imagine?
00:16:11For decades, you ruled your empire with an iron fist.
00:16:17You terrorized people around you.
00:16:18You were violent, never held accountable.
00:16:22And now, they've taken away all your oil,
00:16:24and you're in the same prison as Nicolas Maduro.
00:16:39Ain't that a bitch?
00:16:50Ain't that a bitch?
00:16:55is that now would be the perfect time for an alien invasion.
00:17:03There's no good time.
00:17:05I think we can all agree on that.
00:17:07But if I had to pick a time, I would say this is the best time.
00:17:11Yeah.
00:17:14Because if aliens invade, it's not going to be good for us.
00:17:18We know.
00:17:19We don't stand a chance.
00:17:19If they can travel through space-time, our weapons mean nothing.
00:17:23We're probably just going to annoy them with our guns.
00:17:24Pew, pew, pew, pew.
00:17:27They're going to get here.
00:17:29We've seen how it turns out.
00:17:30They fly in.
00:17:32They're going to blow everything up.
00:17:33We've watched Independence Day.
00:17:34We know how this happens.
00:17:35Yeah, and even if Will Smith helps, he can only slap like one at a time.
00:17:39You know?
00:17:45So what do we do?
00:17:48I think about it all the time.
00:17:50Genuinely, I think about alien invasions all the time.
00:17:54It is my Roman Empire.
00:17:57Like, what are we going to do?
00:17:58What are we going to do?
00:17:59I never used to think about this.
00:18:01When I lived in South Africa, this was nowhere in my mind.
00:18:04But in America, it's a real thing.
00:18:06Yeah, because when aliens come, this is where they're going to come.
00:18:12Yeah, they're going to fly here.
00:18:14They come straight to Washington, D.C.
00:18:15Blow up the White House.
00:18:18And they go to other countries.
00:18:20You know, they go to London, blow up Big Ben.
00:18:22You know what time it is.
00:18:27And they fly to other landmarks, blow everything up.
00:18:30I know, it's an issue.
00:18:31America first.
00:18:32I get it.
00:18:33Yeah.
00:18:36When I was in South Africa, this is something I never thought about.
00:18:38Ever.
00:18:40Because I knew when aliens invade, they're going to go.
00:18:42They're going to blow up the world.
00:18:44But the one place they don't go is Africa.
00:18:48Yeah, you've seen the movies.
00:18:51They never invade Africa.
00:18:53I used to watch those movies all the time.
00:18:55And I'd wait.
00:18:56In the movie, the president would come and be like,
00:18:57citizens of Earth, aliens are invading our planet.
00:19:01Then you'd see the aliens invade.
00:19:03And then you'd be like, wait, I guess Africa's not on the planet?
00:19:05What is happening?
00:19:08They never invaded.
00:19:09Can you think of a single movie where they invaded Africa?
00:19:11District 9.
00:19:12No.
00:19:13What?
00:19:13District 9.
00:19:14District 9.
00:19:16District 9.
00:19:17No.
00:19:20And screw you for trying to mess up my special.
00:19:23Sitting up there in the balcony like a king.
00:19:26District 9, I tell you.
00:19:28Off with his head.
00:19:32No.
00:19:33District 9.
00:19:34It's a good attempt.
00:19:35But no.
00:19:36If you remember the plot of District 9,
00:19:39the aliens didn't invade Africa.
00:19:41The aliens crash-landed in Africa.
00:19:47And then they spent the rest of the movie trying to escape.
00:19:50Because we don't mess around.
00:20:03Hollywood is so messed up.
00:20:05It's just like, what's the worst thing that could happen to aliens?
00:20:08What if they were trapped in Africa?
00:20:15Aliens never invade.
00:20:16They don't invade Africa.
00:20:17They just never did.
00:20:20I used to think it was because they felt bad for us.
00:20:23Yeah.
00:20:24Because as a kid, I used to love watching those movies.
00:20:26I still love watching them now.
00:20:27But as a kid, I loved those movies.
00:20:31Anything with aliens, I was there.
00:20:34And my mom, she would make me a big bowl of popcorn at home.
00:20:38And we would sit on the couch together.
00:20:40And she'd watch all of those movies with me.
00:20:42She hated them.
00:20:43But it said parental guidance.
00:20:46And she took that very seriously.
00:20:49Like, one day she was walking past.
00:20:51And then it was like,
00:20:51We recommend parental guidance for this film.
00:20:53And she was like,
00:20:54Ah, I've got to watch this.
00:20:54And then she did every movie going forward.
00:20:57I would have to run and call her sometimes.
00:20:59A show would just start randomly on TV.
00:21:01And I'd be like,
00:21:02Mom!
00:21:04Mom!
00:21:05And then she'd come in.
00:21:05I'd be like,
00:21:06What?
00:21:06Everyone needs you to guide me!
00:21:10Yeah, but then like five minutes in,
00:21:11I feel like I was guiding my parental.
00:21:13Because she would sit there.
00:21:14And then the whole movie,
00:21:15she'd be like,
00:21:15What's happening, Trevor?
00:21:16Who are they?
00:21:17Who are these people?
00:21:17Why are they doing this?
00:21:18What's going on here?
00:21:19I'd be like,
00:21:20Mom, I'm with you.
00:21:20I'm with you.
00:21:21I started this movie with you.
00:21:26So she would make me like a big bowl of popcorn.
00:21:28And we'd sit there.
00:21:29And then the movie would start.
00:21:30And the alien invasion,
00:21:31they'd be like,
00:21:32Aliens are invading Earth.
00:21:34And the aliens would fly and fly.
00:21:35And you'd see them blowing everything up.
00:21:36And I'd be there with my popcorn.
00:21:38First world problems.
00:21:47I probably,
00:21:47I genuinely thought,
00:21:48I was a little kid.
00:21:50If you asked me,
00:21:51like,
00:21:51How come you never see them in Africa?
00:21:52I was like,
00:21:52Oh, because they feel bad.
00:21:54I thought the aliens felt bad for Africa.
00:21:57You know,
00:21:57they'd be the ship
00:21:59that would fly over each continent
00:22:00to blow it up.
00:22:02And then there'd be one
00:22:03over the African continent.
00:22:04Two aliens in the cockpit.
00:22:06Like,
00:22:06prepare to launch
00:22:08photon lasers.
00:22:10Get ready on your command.
00:22:13Three,
00:22:14two,
00:22:14one.
00:22:15Wait, wait, wait.
00:22:15Hold on.
00:22:16I think we already did this continent.
00:22:20I think we've been here.
00:22:21Negative.
00:22:22We've never been here before.
00:22:23Blow it up.
00:22:24What am I blowing up?
00:22:25Look at this shit.
00:22:26Something already happened.
00:22:27What the hell's going on here, dude?
00:22:29What am I supposed to blow up?
00:22:30Who did this?
00:22:30I don't know.
00:22:31Checking now.
00:22:32Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
00:22:32It says it was
00:22:33the British.
00:22:39Yeah.
00:22:42Take that, Great Britain.
00:22:45Hashtag never forget.
00:22:51Those alien movies, man.
00:22:54They made my day,
00:22:55but they terrified me.
00:22:57Because every time
00:22:58it didn't go well.
00:22:59The aliens fly in.
00:23:01They conquer the earth.
00:23:02We win by luck
00:23:03because it's a movie,
00:23:04but in real life,
00:23:05I don't know.
00:23:07It's not good.
00:23:08We have no chance.
00:23:10If aliens invade,
00:23:11we have no hope.
00:23:14Or at least we had no hope.
00:23:18Now there is.
00:23:21And it goes by the name
00:23:23Donald J. Trump.
00:23:27Whoever he may be.
00:23:36I don't like it,
00:23:37but I think it's the only way.
00:23:40Yeah.
00:23:42As soon as the alien invasion begins,
00:23:44we know how it starts.
00:23:46It's going to be that giant mothership
00:23:48that flies into our orbit.
00:23:50You know,
00:23:51that massive thing
00:23:52that blocks out the sun.
00:23:54Brrrr.
00:23:56Brrrr.
00:23:57They have a giant speaker
00:23:58under the ship
00:23:59that plays the music.
00:24:01It creates the ambiance.
00:24:02Yeah.
00:24:03There's one alien on the inside
00:24:04playing a little organ.
00:24:05He's just like,
00:24:05they're not ready for this one, B.
00:24:07Brrrr.
00:24:08Ha ha, yeah.
00:24:09Brrrr.
00:24:13And then they park the ship outside
00:24:14and they send a little scout ship down
00:24:16to give us the bad news.
00:24:17The one that lands like,
00:24:17brrrr, boom.
00:24:18And they come out,
00:24:19take me,
00:24:19tour your leader.
00:24:21And they meet the leader,
00:24:22kill the leader,
00:24:23and then it's done.
00:24:24They normally pick the most annoying alien
00:24:26for that job.
00:24:27Right?
00:24:27You've got to be a specific type
00:24:28of entitled
00:24:29to just believe you can speak
00:24:30to the leader.
00:24:31Like, who are you?
00:24:31So on the alien ship,
00:24:32they'll normally pick
00:24:33the Karen alien.
00:24:34They'll be like,
00:24:35all right.
00:24:36Chatting to each other like,
00:24:37who are we going to send down
00:24:38to this planet?
00:24:39Listen, Karen,
00:24:40she's the best for this.
00:24:42Karen, you're going down.
00:24:43Oh my God,
00:24:44why is it always me?
00:24:45I hate this so much.
00:24:46You guys are always sending me.
00:24:47I can't believe this.
00:24:48I want to speak to the manager.
00:24:49She's perfect.
00:24:52Send that alien down
00:24:54and give us the bad news.
00:24:58With Trump,
00:24:59we have hope,
00:24:59but we have to act quick,
00:25:01people,
00:25:01real quick.
00:25:03As soon as they tell us
00:25:05aliens are here,
00:25:05NASA tells us
00:25:06they've reached our orbit,
00:25:07we act together
00:25:09as a planet.
00:25:11And what we need to do
00:25:12is we make Donald Trump
00:25:13king of the world.
00:25:17See, some of you
00:25:18are confused.
00:25:18The good news is
00:25:19he won't ask any questions.
00:25:21All right?
00:25:22We just go to the White House,
00:25:23we're like,
00:25:23Mr. Trump,
00:25:24you are now king of the world.
00:25:25And he'd be like,
00:25:26I knew it.
00:25:26I knew it.
00:25:27Yeah.
00:25:27And then we give him
00:25:27a little Burger King crown
00:25:29and then we go and wait
00:25:30for the aliens outside.
00:25:32Aliens land,
00:25:32they come out,
00:25:33that one is just like,
00:25:34take me to your leader.
00:25:36And we're like,
00:25:37yes, welcome to Earth.
00:25:38Come on,
00:25:38come meet the leader.
00:25:39Come on,
00:25:39come meet the leader.
00:25:40Come meet the leader.
00:25:41Take me now.
00:25:41Yeah, yeah,
00:25:42of course,
00:25:42we're going to take you there.
00:25:43How are you doing,
00:25:43by the way?
00:25:44You're looking good.
00:25:44You're on a Zenpeg?
00:25:45What's going on there?
00:25:45You're looking great.
00:25:46Come on,
00:25:46come on,
00:25:47meet the leader.
00:25:47We get to the White House,
00:25:49and we're like,
00:25:50King Trump,
00:25:52this is the alien.
00:25:53Alien,
00:25:54this is King Trump.
00:25:58Are you the ruler
00:26:00of this planet?
00:26:02And we're like,
00:26:03that's right.
00:26:05I'm the ruler
00:26:06of this planet.
00:26:08Planet Earth,
00:26:09or as I call her,
00:26:10big blue.
00:26:12Beautiful,
00:26:13beautiful blue.
00:26:14Floating up in space.
00:26:16She's up there,
00:26:18spinning around.
00:26:19Spinning around.
00:26:21Spinning so fast.
00:26:22You know,
00:26:22they say we're spinning.
00:26:23I never felt it.
00:26:24I never felt it,
00:26:25but they say we're spinning.
00:26:27We're spinning around, folks.
00:26:29Spinning so fast.
00:26:31We're up there in space.
00:26:32We got a beautiful axis
00:26:34right through the middle
00:26:35of the planet.
00:26:36A big,
00:26:37beautiful,
00:26:37long axis.
00:26:39They don't make axis
00:26:39like that anymore.
00:26:40They really don't.
00:26:41They really don't.
00:26:42And we got that axis,
00:26:43and it's tilted,
00:26:45you know,
00:26:45it's tilted.
00:26:46If I was in charge,
00:26:47I would have straightened it
00:26:48right up.
00:26:50Right out.
00:26:51But that's okay.
00:26:52That's okay.
00:26:53Thanks, Obama.
00:26:56And it's up there,
00:26:57floating up in space.
00:26:58A beautiful planet.
00:27:00A beautiful blue.
00:27:00We got a tiny moon.
00:27:01Did you see the moon?
00:27:02A beautiful moon.
00:27:03A beautiful moon.
00:27:05Looks like a nipple
00:27:05on a boob.
00:27:06That's what it looks like.
00:27:07Like one boob
00:27:08floating in space.
00:27:09Should be two.
00:27:10I always say two boobs.
00:27:11Better than one.
00:27:13Better than one,
00:27:13but one better than none.
00:27:15Can I say boobs?
00:27:15I said it, folks.
00:27:16I said boobs.
00:27:18And I'm the ruler
00:27:18of this planet.
00:27:20What do you want?
00:27:20What do you need?
00:27:21What can I do for you?
00:27:23They'll be like,
00:27:23brr-pup,
00:27:24peep,
00:27:24sorry,
00:27:25we didn't know
00:27:26it was already invaded.
00:27:27Poo-poo,
00:27:28peep,
00:27:28peep,
00:27:29peep,
00:27:30peep,
00:27:30peep,
00:27:30peep.
00:27:40And that's how we survive.
00:27:47Be honest,
00:27:48we wouldn't be shocked
00:27:49if we found out
00:27:49he was an alien.
00:27:51I actually think
00:27:52we'd be relieved.
00:27:54People are like,
00:27:54oh my God,
00:27:55that explains it.
00:27:58Yeah,
00:27:58if two aliens
00:27:59that looked exactly like him,
00:28:00like a mom and dad
00:28:01version of him
00:28:02came down
00:28:02and they land on the planet
00:28:04and they're like,
00:28:04all right,
00:28:04help us,
00:28:05we left our son here
00:28:06many decades ago.
00:28:08Where's that baby?
00:28:09Where's that baby?
00:28:10We'd be like,
00:28:10come on,
00:28:11come on,
00:28:11come on.
00:28:12Can't get your baby.
00:28:17Because he is, man.
00:28:18He's out of this world.
00:28:25And now,
00:28:27we are living
00:28:28through history.
00:28:30Do you ever think
00:28:31about that?
00:28:33Like,
00:28:33we are all
00:28:35living
00:28:36through
00:28:38history.
00:28:39And not like
00:28:40history,
00:28:41like,
00:28:41just time that passed,
00:28:43you know,
00:28:43like,
00:28:43because there's that
00:28:44boring history,
00:28:44like,
00:28:44and then the people
00:28:45settled here,
00:28:46yeah,
00:28:46yeah,
00:28:47whatever.
00:28:48I'm talking about,
00:28:48like,
00:28:49history,
00:28:49history,
00:28:49where some shit happened.
00:28:50You know when you read the books
00:28:51and you're like,
00:28:51yo,
00:28:52what was it like back then?
00:28:53Yeah,
00:28:53we're in the back then.
00:28:56That's all of us.
00:28:57My history's terrible now,
00:28:58I've realized.
00:29:00Because they record everything
00:29:01that is said at the White House.
00:29:03It is kept for posterity.
00:29:06So that means in like 300 years,
00:29:08there'll be scholars studying old presidents
00:29:11and the White House,
00:29:12and they'll be like,
00:29:13what was it like 300 years ago?
00:29:14You're like,
00:29:15I don't know,
00:29:16but the Grammys host was terrible.
00:29:19A total loser,
00:29:21apparently.
00:29:27And a bunny was performing
00:29:29at the Super Bowl.
00:29:30Also terrible.
00:29:32Absolutely terrible.
00:29:33What a time.
00:29:40You know,
00:29:41the weird thing about living through history is,
00:29:45it's so much less predictable
00:29:46when you are the one doing it.
00:29:49Like,
00:29:50when you read history
00:29:51or when we're taught history,
00:29:52it is often presented
00:29:53as if it was inevitable.
00:29:57You read the stories,
00:29:58you assume that is how
00:29:59they would have always ended
00:30:00because that's how they ended.
00:30:02Like,
00:30:02if I asked most people,
00:30:03do you think the Nazis
00:30:04will always lose the war?
00:30:06They'd be like,
00:30:06yeah,
00:30:06of course the Nazis
00:30:07would always lose the war.
00:30:08And yet,
00:30:08at the time,
00:30:09the people who were fighting the war
00:30:10thought that the Nazis
00:30:12were going to win.
00:30:12There was a moment
00:30:13when it seemed like
00:30:14it was in their favor.
00:30:17When you're in history,
00:30:18it's a completely different gambit.
00:30:23Like, whenever I'm in Washington, D.C.,
00:30:26I like to go and visit
00:30:27the National Museum
00:30:28of African American History and Culture.
00:30:31And
00:30:34if you've never been,
00:30:35let me tell you,
00:30:36it is one of the most profound experiences
00:30:39you will ever have in your life.
00:30:41It is a museum
00:30:43unlike any other
00:30:44I've ever been to
00:30:44for a few reasons,
00:30:46you know.
00:30:47One is,
00:30:48it is as complete a telling
00:30:51as is possible
00:30:51of black history in America,
00:30:55which is history.
00:30:56But it's a history
00:30:57that's often not told, right?
00:30:58And you go to this building,
00:31:00and unlike other museums,
00:31:01you can't just choose
00:31:02your own adventure.
00:31:03You know, normally,
00:31:03you walk in a museum
00:31:04and then it's like,
00:31:04what do you want to do,
00:31:05dinosaurs or space?
00:31:06You pick.
00:31:07There,
00:31:07they curate
00:31:08your moving through time.
00:31:10And so when you get to the museum,
00:31:12you start at the very beginning
00:31:13of black people in America,
00:31:14and then it moves
00:31:15all the way through
00:31:16to the present day, right?
00:31:18And so it starts underground,
00:31:20literally,
00:31:20you go underground,
00:31:21and then it starts with slavery,
00:31:22spoiler alert.
00:31:24And then they move you,
00:31:25move you, move you through time,
00:31:26and then you get to the end,
00:31:27and then there's Oprah.
00:31:35That museum truly,
00:31:38like, it'll make you ask
00:31:39every question of yourself.
00:31:40I was there on my most recent trip,
00:31:42and I was walking through
00:31:45the beginning level,
00:31:48and it's underground,
00:31:49and it's chattel slavery,
00:31:51the transatlantic slave trade,
00:31:53and then the underground railroad.
00:31:55And so it's an emotional ride as well.
00:31:58You know, it's painful,
00:31:59it's oppression,
00:32:00and then there's this moment
00:32:02where you can see
00:32:03people rising up
00:32:04and fighting for what they believe in,
00:32:06overcoming.
00:32:08And because it's so engaging,
00:32:10you see people experiencing it
00:32:12in a different way.
00:32:13There were these two kids next to me,
00:32:15maybe 14 years old,
00:32:17and they were having a conversation
00:32:19that I was eavesdropping on,
00:32:20and the one turns to the other one,
00:32:21and he's like,
00:32:22he's like,
00:32:22yo, man,
00:32:23he's like,
00:32:23what would you have done
00:32:24if you was around back there, man?
00:32:25He's like,
00:32:25would you have been a slave?
00:32:26He's like,
00:32:26yeah, well, yo, what?
00:32:27He's like,
00:32:28nah, they would have had
00:32:28the wrong one, man.
00:32:29They would have had the wrong one.
00:32:31Yo, I would have cooked theirs.
00:32:33May you try and make me a slave?
00:32:33I would have cooked theirs.
00:32:34He's like,
00:32:35nah, you can't be.
00:32:35You can't be.
00:32:35He's like,
00:32:36nah, for real,
00:32:36I would have cooked theirs.
00:32:37I would have cooked theirs.
00:32:38And they're laughing,
00:32:38and they're engaging,
00:32:39and I was like,
00:32:40either this is the delusion of youth,
00:32:42which is necessary for a revolution,
00:32:44or that's who they would be.
00:32:45Either way, it didn't matter.
00:32:47What I loved
00:32:47is that they were asking the question,
00:32:51who will you be
00:32:53when history calls?
00:32:57Because of them,
00:32:57I found myself
00:32:59asking the question,
00:33:00and honestly,
00:33:03I think I need to work
00:33:04on my self-esteem,
00:33:05because I came up
00:33:07with nothing as heroic.
00:33:10Like, if you asked me,
00:33:11Trevor, what would you do
00:33:12during slavery?
00:33:13I'd be like,
00:33:14I would have worked really hard,
00:33:18and seen what happened.
00:33:20I don't think
00:33:21I would have been a hero.
00:33:22I don't have it.
00:33:23I'm impressed by people
00:33:24who say those things.
00:33:25If I was around,
00:33:25if I was around back then,
00:33:26oh, if I was in the store
00:33:27when they robbed it,
00:33:28I would have done.
00:33:29I don't have that in me.
00:33:31I don't.
00:33:31Like, I would be in the field,
00:33:32and I'd just be working hard,
00:33:34and I'd be minding
00:33:34my own business,
00:33:35you know,
00:33:35and the guy on the horse
00:33:36would come,
00:33:36he'd be like,
00:33:37you better work hard, boy,
00:33:38you better pick that goddamn cotton.
00:33:39I'd be like,
00:33:39yes, master,
00:33:40I was a-picking this cotton, master.
00:33:41I was a-picking away, master.
00:33:43Oh, but as soon as he rides away,
00:33:44oh, I'd light his ass up.
00:33:45Oh, I would.
00:33:46I would roast him to bits.
00:33:48I'd be like,
00:33:48that dumbass owner.
00:33:51Is he back?
00:33:56But I don't think
00:33:57I would have been a hero.
00:34:00Yeah, like,
00:34:00a real hero would have showed up.
00:34:02Like, Harriet Tubman would show up.
00:34:03She'd be like,
00:34:04psst,
00:34:05yo, Trev.
00:34:07Oh, hi, Harriet.
00:34:09How you doing?
00:34:11I'm doing shit.
00:34:14Oh, no, what happened?
00:34:16Slavery happened.
00:34:17What you mean,
00:34:18what happened, boy?
00:34:19You stupid or something?
00:34:20Oh, yeah, of course.
00:34:21I shouldn't have...
00:34:21Anyway, what's going on, Harriet?
00:34:23I just came to let you know
00:34:25that we're leaving tonight.
00:34:30Who's we?
00:34:33All of us, Trev.
00:34:35We're getting out of here.
00:34:37We're going, baby.
00:34:39Oh, yeah, Harriet,
00:34:40the guy on the horse
00:34:40says we shouldn't leave.
00:34:43He really doesn't like it
00:34:44when we leave.
00:34:45I think he has, like,
00:34:46separation anxiety or something.
00:34:48He should see someone about that.
00:34:49But he said,
00:34:50I don't give a shit what he said.
00:34:52We're getting out of here.
00:34:54What are you saying?
00:34:54You're going to stay?
00:34:55Yeah, I think I'll stay
00:34:57and just, you know,
00:34:58see how it goes.
00:34:59See how it goes?
00:35:00What's wrong with you?
00:35:01You're not coming?
00:35:02No, I'm not going to...
00:35:03I can't believe you.
00:35:05You light skins
00:35:06is all the same.
00:35:09What?
00:35:10Yeah.
00:35:11You're scared, ain't you?
00:35:13You're a scared little bitch.
00:35:16I am a bitch, Harriet.
00:35:17I cannot lie.
00:35:18I'm a...
00:35:18I'm a scared little bitch.
00:35:20Look at you,
00:35:21scared little bitch.
00:35:22You almost as bad
00:35:24as Jimmy Kimmel.
00:35:25What?
00:35:43Sorry, sometimes I do jokes
00:35:44just for me.
00:35:45I'm sorry.
00:35:48Oh, man.
00:35:53Everyone was asking
00:35:54themselves the question.
00:35:55Everyone.
00:35:57One of the most unique
00:35:58encounters I experienced
00:35:59happened when
00:36:01there was a group
00:36:02of white people
00:36:03who were standing
00:36:03at the exhibit
00:36:05and
00:36:07they were very,
00:36:08very liberal
00:36:09white people, right?
00:36:10Like, very
00:36:11liberal
00:36:13white...
00:36:13Like, very,
00:36:16very
00:36:17liberal
00:36:18white people.
00:36:19Like, they were
00:36:19feeling it more
00:36:20than the black people there.
00:36:22They were...
00:36:25Yeah, to show
00:36:26how much they were feeling it,
00:36:27there was a moment
00:36:27where
00:36:28some of the black people
00:36:29who were walking around
00:36:31the exhibit, right?
00:36:32Because there's black people
00:36:33walking around the exhibit
00:36:34and there's white people there
00:36:35because everyone can go, right?
00:36:36And...
00:36:36And so...
00:36:41The black people
00:36:41who were there
00:36:42were living what I would
00:36:43consider the full black
00:36:44experience,
00:36:45which is being a human being.
00:36:46So some people were crying
00:36:47and then a moment later
00:36:48they were talking to their
00:36:49friends, sharing stories,
00:36:50recounting, laughing, etc.
00:36:52And one person laughed,
00:36:53was like telling their friend,
00:36:54like,
00:36:54ha ha ha ha, yeah!
00:36:56And then the woman,
00:36:58there was a white woman here
00:36:58who was like the leader
00:36:59of the crew,
00:36:59she turned
00:37:00at that love,
00:37:01was like, ha ha!
00:37:02And she was like,
00:37:02shh!
00:37:04Kuh!
00:37:15That's how liberal
00:37:16they were.
00:37:19And just when I thought
00:37:20she couldn't top that,
00:37:21she was looking
00:37:22at a photograph,
00:37:23one of the first pictures
00:37:25that's ever really been taken
00:37:26and it was a picture
00:37:27of a white man
00:37:29on a plantation,
00:37:31standing there,
00:37:32smiling,
00:37:32standing in a field,
00:37:34just like smiling
00:37:34in the picture.
00:37:36And this woman is standing
00:37:37looking at the picture
00:37:38and she's like,
00:37:39I...
00:37:43If I was there
00:37:46when that was happening,
00:37:48if I swear to God,
00:37:49if I was there
00:37:50when that was happening,
00:37:55I would have never smiled.
00:38:04You know what a sentence
00:38:05has the exact conclusion
00:38:07you did not predict?
00:38:08Like, this was...
00:38:09I thought she was...
00:38:10If I was there,
00:38:11I would have fought,
00:38:12I would have freed,
00:38:13I would have...
00:38:14No, no, no.
00:38:14She's like,
00:38:15I would have had slaves
00:38:16but I wouldn't have enjoyed it.
00:38:19Just be crying.
00:38:20I'm so sorry.
00:38:21This is happening to you.
00:38:22I'm so sorry.
00:38:23Yeah, dust behind the couch
00:38:24as well.
00:38:25I'm so sorry.
00:38:26I can't.
00:38:31It was really,
00:38:32really something.
00:38:33You know,
00:38:33you move through that level
00:38:34there for more than an hour.
00:38:37At the end of it,
00:38:38I was so taken
00:38:39by the question
00:38:40that I was asking myself,
00:38:41who will you be
00:38:42when history calls
00:38:44that I texted
00:38:45one of my best friends,
00:38:46David Meyer.
00:38:47He's actually the first American
00:38:49I ever became friends with.
00:38:50He came to South Africa
00:38:51by chance,
00:38:5220 years ago,
00:38:53was on like a school project.
00:38:55We met by chance,
00:38:56became friends by chance
00:38:57and then he convinced me
00:38:58to come to America
00:38:59and do comedy,
00:39:00which I had never planned to do.
00:39:00The rest is history.
00:39:01So we've been friends
00:39:02since that day.
00:39:03Right?
00:39:04And yeah,
00:39:05it's a beautiful story.
00:39:06And also,
00:39:07our lives are so different.
00:39:09He's this six foot five,
00:39:11lanky white boy
00:39:12from North Carolina.
00:39:13Right?
00:39:14Sweetest guy ever,
00:39:15super sincere.
00:39:16And because of that,
00:39:17I love playing pranks on him.
00:39:20And as we left that exhibit,
00:39:22I texted him
00:39:22and I was like,
00:39:23yo, Dave,
00:39:24I need to ask you a favor.
00:39:26And he responded,
00:39:27he's like,
00:39:27yo, dude,
00:39:28what's up?
00:39:29And I said,
00:39:30if slavery comes back,
00:39:33do you promise
00:39:34to have me
00:39:34as one of your slaves
00:39:35and treat me really well?
00:39:39And then he responded,
00:39:41he was like,
00:39:41dude,
00:39:42what?
00:39:46And I said,
00:39:46do you promise
00:39:47to have me as your slave
00:39:48and treat me very well?
00:39:50And he was like,
00:39:51what are you talking about?
00:39:52And I said,
00:39:53yes or no?
00:39:55And then,
00:39:56I just saw the little dots
00:39:57and it was like,
00:39:58typing,
00:39:59typing,
00:40:01typing,
00:40:03typing,
00:40:04typing,
00:40:05typing,
00:40:06typing,
00:40:07typing,
00:40:08typing,
00:40:08and then he called me.
00:40:12I was like,
00:40:13yo,
00:40:13what's up?
00:40:14He's like,
00:40:14dude,
00:40:14what are you even talking about?
00:40:16What is happening?
00:40:17What do you mean slavery?
00:40:18I was like,
00:40:19I just want to know from you,
00:40:20Dave,
00:40:20if slavery comes back,
00:40:22do you promise
00:40:22to have me as one of your slaves
00:40:24and treat me really well?
00:40:24He's like,
00:40:25dude,
00:40:25no,
00:40:25what do you mean?
00:40:26Slavery is not coming back.
00:40:28Slavery is not coming back.
00:40:29I was like,
00:40:29that's what they said
00:40:29about Ghostbusters.
00:40:30Just answer the question.
00:40:32Will you or will you not
00:40:33have me as one of you?
00:40:34He's like,
00:40:34no,
00:40:34dude,
00:40:35no,
00:40:35no,
00:40:36no.
00:40:36I would never have you
00:40:37as one of my slaves.
00:40:39I would never,
00:40:39dude,
00:40:39I would never own slaves,
00:40:41like enslaved people,
00:40:42actually.
00:40:43I would never have enslaved people.
00:40:45I don't think that's where I was like,
00:40:46yo,
00:40:46save your sanctimony is bullshit right now,
00:40:48Dave.
00:40:48I just want to know
00:40:49if you would have me as one of your slaves
00:40:50or not and treat me well.
00:40:51He's like,
00:40:51no,
00:40:51I would never do that.
00:40:52I was like,
00:40:52oh,
00:40:53okay,
00:40:53I see.
00:40:54So you're just going to let me be
00:40:55somebody else's slave.
00:40:56That's what you're saying.
00:40:57Huh?
00:40:57Slavery comes back
00:40:58and now they catch me
00:41:00and now they're busy whipping me
00:41:01and now I'm jango out in these streets.
00:41:02Huh?
00:41:03Yeah?
00:41:03I'm getting whipped
00:41:04because my best friend
00:41:05wouldn't use his white privilege
00:41:06to help me
00:41:07by making me one of his slaves
00:41:09so that we could hang out.
00:41:10Huh?
00:41:10I'm in a field.
00:41:11I could be with you
00:41:12in the house playing PlayStation,
00:41:13Dave.
00:41:13Huh?
00:41:14Yeah,
00:41:14we could be back in Call of Duty
00:41:16in Verdansk
00:41:16like the good old days
00:41:17but no,
00:41:18you want to be so woke
00:41:19that I get whipped
00:41:20by another white person
00:41:21who wants to keep slaves.
00:41:22He's like,
00:41:22no,
00:41:22dude,
00:41:22dude,
00:41:23I was like,
00:41:23you want me to be a slave?
00:41:24He's like,
00:41:24no,
00:41:24dude,
00:41:24I was like,
00:41:25you want me to be whipped,
00:41:25don't you?
00:41:25He's like,
00:41:26no,
00:41:26dude,
00:41:26okay,
00:41:26okay,
00:41:26okay.
00:41:27He's like,
00:41:27okay,
00:41:27all right,
00:41:28fine,
00:41:28dude,
00:41:28if slavery came back,
00:41:29then yeah,
00:41:30I'll have you
00:41:31as one of my slaves
00:41:31and I'll treat you well.
00:41:32I was like,
00:41:33aha,
00:41:33so you would have slaves.
00:41:39I was like,
00:41:40all right,
00:41:40I gotta go
00:41:41and he's like,
00:41:41no!
00:41:45He still hasn't forgiven me.
00:41:51Oh.
00:41:54Who will you be
00:41:55when history calls?
00:41:58It's so much easier
00:41:59when it's hypothetical.
00:42:04As you move
00:42:06from one exhibit
00:42:07to the next,
00:42:09you know,
00:42:09move through reconstruction,
00:42:11Jim Crow,
00:42:12you get to the
00:42:13civil rights movement
00:42:15and
00:42:17it's impressive
00:42:18on its own
00:42:19but because it has now
00:42:20been 60 years
00:42:22since the
00:42:23I Have a Dream speech,
00:42:25they've expanded
00:42:26the part of the exhibit
00:42:27that looks at
00:42:28Dr. Martin Luther King's life
00:42:32and
00:42:33you get to see
00:42:34his writings,
00:42:36his thoughts,
00:42:37his journals,
00:42:38his letters
00:42:39to other people,
00:42:40his letters to the public,
00:42:41his correspondences
00:42:42with his friends,
00:42:43interviews,
00:42:44you name it.
00:42:45Like,
00:42:45you see his life
00:42:46in a detail
00:42:47that I think
00:42:47very few of us
00:42:49ever have
00:42:51and
00:42:53I don't want to speak
00:42:54for everyone
00:42:54but I feel like
00:42:55when we're taught
00:42:56about MLK,
00:42:58it's a really sanitized,
00:43:00flat version
00:43:02of his life.
00:43:03Do you know what I mean?
00:43:04It seems really simple
00:43:06and inevitable.
00:43:08You know,
00:43:08whenever you're taught
00:43:09the story,
00:43:09it's just like,
00:43:09there was a man
00:43:10named MLK,
00:43:11he didn't like
00:43:12what was happening
00:43:13and he marched
00:43:14on the bridge,
00:43:14he had a dream
00:43:15and he lived
00:43:16happily ever after.
00:43:17Happy MLK Day,
00:43:1850% off your mattress.
00:43:22But,
00:43:24but when you,
00:43:24when you see his life,
00:43:26it's not like that
00:43:26because that,
00:43:27like, genuinely,
00:43:27when people talk about it,
00:43:28you know,
00:43:29there'll be the,
00:43:29Happy MLK Day
00:43:30and then it's a,
00:43:31it almost sounds
00:43:31like a Disney movie.
00:43:33It has like the same plot
00:43:34as a Disney movie,
00:43:35you know,
00:43:35it's just like,
00:43:35this summer,
00:43:36you know,
00:43:37one man,
00:43:38one dream
00:43:39changed the world.
00:43:40I have a dream.
00:43:42Timothee Chalamet
00:43:43is Martin Luther King.
00:43:45Only on Disney+.
00:43:49That's how it feels.
00:43:55But when you see
00:43:57his life laid out,
00:43:59I mean the minutiae
00:44:01of his days.
00:44:02The things that he
00:44:03and the people around him
00:44:04were experiencing.
00:44:07He was arrested
00:44:08somewhere around,
00:44:09like, 29 times
00:44:11over the course
00:44:12of, like,
00:44:13four years,
00:44:14trumped up charges.
00:44:15Sometimes he was left
00:44:16in a jail cell
00:44:17by himself,
00:44:18wasn't given food,
00:44:19wasn't given a phone call,
00:44:20nothing.
00:44:21Sometimes he was beaten,
00:44:23sometimes they just,
00:44:23like, you see this man's life
00:44:25in detail.
00:44:27They chased him
00:44:27out of towns.
00:44:29The federal government
00:44:31came after him.
00:44:32J. Edgar Hoover himself,
00:44:33the head of the FBI,
00:44:35designated Martin Luther King
00:44:36as the most dangerous
00:44:37man in America.
00:44:40And then the FBI
00:44:41ran a concerted campaign
00:44:43to destroy him.
00:44:44They tried to break up
00:44:45his friendships
00:44:46and his working relationships
00:44:47and the most sinister thing
00:44:48they did was
00:44:49they tapped his phones
00:44:50and they found out
00:44:51that he was having
00:44:52an affair
00:44:53and they phoned his wife,
00:44:55Coretta Scott King,
00:44:56and they snitched on him
00:44:57because they thought
00:44:58that that would destroy
00:44:59his marriage
00:45:00and destroy the movement.
00:45:02Yeah.
00:45:03The FBI tried
00:45:05to dish gossip
00:45:07on Martin Luther King.
00:45:08Totally changes
00:45:09how you see
00:45:10the organization.
00:45:11All right?
00:45:12FBI seemed so serious
00:45:13and now you get
00:45:14the real picture.
00:45:16They're in that
00:45:16J. Edgar Hoover building
00:45:18in the morning.
00:45:20What are you working on,
00:45:21Kowalski?
00:45:21Drug enforcement, sir.
00:45:22What about you?
00:45:24Uh, sir,
00:45:24criminal crimes,
00:45:26specifically financial.
00:45:27And you?
00:45:27Drama!
00:45:34You see everything
00:45:35that happened
00:45:36to MLK,
00:45:37everything.
00:45:38Some of it internal
00:45:38because he writes about it,
00:45:39some of it external
00:45:40because people are observing.
00:45:44One of the sections
00:45:44that really lays out
00:45:45what it was like
00:45:46is a four-year stretch
00:45:48where Dr. King
00:45:49and other black people
00:45:51would try
00:45:52to go and get served
00:45:54in restaurants
00:45:56that were segregating
00:45:57black people
00:45:58and weren't allowing
00:45:58them to get food.
00:46:00They would walk
00:46:01into the restaurants,
00:46:02they would sit down,
00:46:03dress to the nines,
00:46:04and they would get
00:46:04denied service.
00:46:05They would get kicked out,
00:46:06they would get cursed at,
00:46:07spat on.
00:46:09Oftentimes they were beaten.
00:46:11They'd leave
00:46:12with concussions,
00:46:13bleeding.
00:46:13They'd go home,
00:46:14they'd wash up,
00:46:14they'd come back,
00:46:15they'd do it again.
00:46:16Go home, wash up,
00:46:16do it again.
00:46:17Go home, wash up,
00:46:17and do it again.
00:46:18And now when we talk
00:46:20about it we go,
00:46:20well they did the right thing
00:46:21because look how it turned out.
00:46:22Yes, but when you read
00:46:24his life you go,
00:46:24it wasn't inevitable.
00:46:27There was no guarantee
00:46:28that it was going to work.
00:46:29There was no sign
00:46:30that it was working.
00:46:32And yet they persevered.
00:46:35And when I was looking
00:46:36through his life
00:46:37and when I was reading
00:46:37his works
00:46:38and I was looking,
00:46:39I was like,
00:46:40was there ever a moment
00:46:41when he regretted?
00:46:44Was there ever a moment
00:46:45when he regretted
00:46:46what he had gone through,
00:46:47what he was doing?
00:46:49Like when he tasted
00:46:50white people's food
00:46:51for the first time?
00:47:00No, because you realize
00:47:01until that point
00:47:01it was theoretical, right?
00:47:04Black people had never
00:47:05been served
00:47:05in these establishments.
00:47:06They only wished
00:47:07to be served
00:47:07in these establishments.
00:47:10But they had never
00:47:11eaten there.
00:47:12Right?
00:47:13They would just sit down
00:47:13at the counter
00:47:14and the owner would come
00:47:15and be like,
00:47:15God damn it!
00:47:16I told you I don't want
00:47:17your kind around here!
00:47:18Get out of here, boy!
00:47:19And he'd be like,
00:47:19Oh, my brother,
00:47:20I have a dream.
00:47:21I have a dream
00:47:23that one day
00:47:23regardless of the color
00:47:24of our skin
00:47:25all people will be allowed
00:47:27to sit here
00:47:27our brothers and sisters
00:47:28black and white alike
00:47:29and America will come good
00:47:31on its promise
00:47:32that all men
00:47:33are created equal.
00:47:34I have a dream
00:47:35that one day...
00:47:36Oh, shut up!
00:47:37You've won!
00:47:38They changed the laws.
00:47:39Look at the TV.
00:47:41Here's your food.
00:47:44Thank you very much.
00:47:56Oh, shit.
00:48:03Now I have a new dream.
00:48:08I have a new dream
00:48:09that one day
00:48:10white people
00:48:10will discover seasoning
00:48:14and I have a dream
00:48:15that they will no longer
00:48:17consider black pepper
00:48:18to be a spice.
00:48:21I have a dream
00:48:22that we will all
00:48:23come together
00:48:24to defeat
00:48:25the real white devil
00:48:26mayonnaise.
00:48:35Can you imagine
00:48:36how awkward
00:48:37it must have been?
00:48:39that first walk
00:48:40after that first meal?
00:48:43Martin and his boys
00:48:44walking into the parking lot
00:48:47dead quiet.
00:48:58For this shit, Martin.
00:49:03For this shit, Martin.
00:49:05I'm so sorry, fellas.
00:49:07I didn't know.
00:49:07God damn it, Martin.
00:49:08You had them
00:49:09whipping our ass
00:49:09for this shit?
00:49:10Did you taste that food?
00:49:12I thought it was delicious.
00:49:13That's why I thought
00:49:14they were blocking us.
00:49:15I apologize, fellas.
00:49:16I'm so sorry, fellas.
00:49:18My bad.
00:49:18God damn it, Martin.
00:49:19That shit tastes
00:49:19like depression, man.
00:49:21Is this the shit
00:49:22we've been fighting for?
00:49:22I'm so sorry, everybody.
00:49:24I'll make it up to y'all.
00:49:25I'll buy everybody
00:49:26Popeyes
00:49:27on the way home.
00:49:37Who will you be
00:49:39when history calls?
00:50:00You know, the
00:50:01the conundrum of life is
00:50:05that just because
00:50:07the big is happening
00:50:10doesn't mean that
00:50:12the small stops.
00:50:16just because
00:50:17the big is happening
00:50:18doesn't mean
00:50:18that the small
00:50:20stops.
00:50:22You know?
00:50:25It's one of the
00:50:26conundrums
00:50:26of life.
00:50:28How much of the big
00:50:29do you focus on
00:50:30and how much of the small
00:50:32do you pay any heed?
00:50:37It was captured
00:50:38perfect for me.
00:50:38There was an exchange
00:50:39that I saw online
00:50:40between two people.
00:50:41Someone posted,
00:50:42just graduated,
00:50:44really excited,
00:50:45got straight A's,
00:50:46party at my house,
00:50:48everyone's invited.
00:50:49All right?
00:50:49It was a joke,
00:50:50obviously,
00:50:50not everyone,
00:50:51because of the internet,
00:50:51not everyone's invited.
00:50:52And then people
00:50:54started posting,
00:50:54and then someone
00:50:54jumped in the comments
00:50:55and was like,
00:50:56really?
00:50:57Throwing a party
00:50:58at a time like this?
00:50:59Read the room,
00:51:00look around you,
00:51:01is now the time
00:51:02to be celebrating?
00:51:03This is not the time
00:51:04to throw parties
00:51:05when we're at it?
00:51:05And it was this whole thing
00:51:06and then it devolved
00:51:07into a huge fight.
00:51:07And I'll be honest with you,
00:51:08I could actually see
00:51:09where both people
00:51:10were coming from.
00:51:11Emotionally,
00:51:12I got it.
00:51:13On the one hand,
00:51:13someone was saying,
00:51:14how can you
00:51:15throw a celebration
00:51:17at a time
00:51:17when it feels like
00:51:18the world as we know it
00:51:19has fallen apart?
00:51:21How can you
00:51:22be joyous
00:51:23when it looks like
00:51:23every norm
00:51:24and institution
00:51:25we have understood
00:51:26that makes up
00:51:27the fabric of society
00:51:28is falling apart?
00:51:29Our public trust
00:51:30is falling apart.
00:51:31Our trust in each other
00:51:32is falling apart.
00:51:32How can you
00:51:33throw a party?
00:51:33But the other person
00:51:34was saying,
00:51:35how can I not?
00:51:36I have lived
00:51:37and worked
00:51:38my entire life
00:51:39to get to this place.
00:51:40I have finally
00:51:41achieved it
00:51:42against all odds
00:51:43and so for this moment
00:51:44I wish
00:51:45to enjoy.
00:51:47And both are right.
00:51:49Right?
00:51:50Both are right.
00:51:55In every hospital
00:51:56around the world
00:51:56there's a ward
00:51:57where a baby
00:51:57has just been born
00:51:58and another
00:51:59where somebody
00:51:59has just died.
00:52:02jubilation
00:52:03at the start
00:52:04of a new life.
00:52:06Despair
00:52:07at the loss
00:52:07of someone
00:52:07you've always loved.
00:52:09Neither ward
00:52:10incorrect.
00:52:12But then
00:52:12which one
00:52:13do you
00:52:13focus on?
00:52:19I got
00:52:19an answer
00:52:20for myself
00:52:21in one of the
00:52:21most random places.
00:52:22I was reading
00:52:24a book
00:52:25that was
00:52:26accounts
00:52:26from soldiers
00:52:28who served
00:52:29during
00:52:30World War I
00:52:32and I'm talking
00:52:32to veterans
00:52:33who had been
00:52:34there at the time
00:52:34and they were
00:52:35this book goes
00:52:36through their
00:52:37experiences
00:52:39and a lot of them
00:52:40talk about
00:52:40the trench warfare
00:52:41which was
00:52:42some of the worst
00:52:43warfare man
00:52:44has ever invented.
00:52:45It went on
00:52:46for years
00:52:46and years
00:52:47and years
00:52:47and these soldiers
00:52:48would cycle in
00:52:48and cycle out.
00:52:50Every day
00:52:50could have been
00:52:51their last.
00:52:52And in the midst
00:52:54of all of this despair
00:52:54there's one common thread
00:52:56that you see
00:52:56with every single soldier
00:52:58that they speak to.
00:52:58almost every single one
00:52:59and that is that
00:53:01they found their joy
00:53:02in the trenches.
00:53:05They have these moments
00:53:06where they host card games
00:53:08and they play around.
00:53:10They had a satirical newspaper
00:53:12that they started
00:53:13and they'd make jokes
00:53:14about their commanding officers
00:53:16and what was happening
00:53:17in the war
00:53:17and each other
00:53:18and one of the wildest things
00:53:20I read was
00:53:21there was a day
00:53:22when a cow
00:53:23walked into the battlefield
00:53:25so it was in no man's land.
00:53:26It was perfectly between
00:53:27the allies
00:53:28and the axis
00:53:29and it was like
00:53:29so it was like
00:53:30both sides wanted the cow
00:53:33and then they shouted
00:53:34across to the Germans
00:53:35and they said
00:53:36we want the cow
00:53:37and then the Germans
00:53:37were like
00:53:38no we want the cow
00:53:39and then they agreed
00:53:41they said
00:53:41okay let's play a game
00:53:42we'll throw up
00:53:43coins in the air
00:53:44and we'll try
00:53:45shoot them
00:53:46whoever hits the coin
00:53:47gets to keep the cow
00:53:49and then
00:53:49the English soldiers
00:53:51shot the coin
00:53:52and then the Germans
00:53:53were like
00:53:53okay
00:53:54you win the cow
00:53:55but we'd like
00:53:56our coins back
00:53:58and then the English
00:53:59soldier went
00:54:00got the coins
00:54:00and was like
00:54:01oh they're gonna kill me
00:54:01and then got the coins
00:54:02and then gave them
00:54:03to the Germans
00:54:03and then ran back
00:54:04and got in the trenches
00:54:05and then everyone was like
00:54:06fun game
00:54:09you think
00:54:09it's littered with story
00:54:10there were stories
00:54:11of soldiers singing
00:54:12to each other
00:54:13on evenings
00:54:14randomly
00:54:14they would sing
00:54:15across enemy lines
00:54:17at the other soldiers
00:54:20and the other soldiers
00:54:21would sing back
00:54:23can you imagine that
00:54:24you're in a trench
00:54:25your feet are rotting
00:54:27everyone's tired
00:54:27scared
00:54:28in the midst of that
00:54:29all of a sudden
00:54:30someone's just like
00:54:30say you
00:54:41they found their joy
00:54:43in the trenches
00:54:46and it hit me
00:54:48because it made me realize
00:54:48they remembered
00:54:49what they were fighting for
00:54:50they were fighting to live
00:54:51they weren't fighting to fight
00:54:53if you forget what you're fighting for
00:54:55then there's no point in fighting
00:54:57you're fighting to be joyous
00:54:59you're fighting to explore yourself
00:55:00you're fighting to have adventures
00:55:02you're fighting to laugh
00:55:03you're fighting
00:55:03you don't just fight to fight
00:55:05you're fighting to live
00:55:08just because the big is happening
00:55:10doesn't mean that the small stops
00:55:23my therapist told me
00:55:25that I am undateable
00:55:32yeah
00:55:35in a session
00:55:36and she just turned to me
00:55:36and she said
00:55:37Trevor I think
00:55:38it is because you are undateable
00:55:40I was like
00:55:41huh
00:55:41I guess you also didn't like
00:55:43the Grammys
00:55:48she told me this at the end of a session
00:55:50which I feel like should be legal
00:55:53right
00:55:53well like therapists
00:55:54will drop a bomb on you
00:55:55at the end of a session
00:55:57and then just expect you to wait
00:55:58it'll just be like
00:55:59yeah and that's why your father
00:56:00could never love you
00:56:01and you're like
00:56:01what?
00:56:02oh yeah
00:56:02we've run out of time
00:56:03I'll see you next time
00:56:03no!
00:56:04no!
00:56:05next video!
00:56:05next video!
00:56:06I don't want to wait a week
00:56:07I want Netflix therapy
00:56:08not HBO
00:56:13and I had to wait two weeks
00:56:14and then in my next session
00:56:15I was like
00:56:15wait wait wait
00:56:16let's go into it
00:56:17and I was like
00:56:17yeah skip recap
00:56:18skip recap
00:56:18let's go
00:56:18let's go
00:56:19and she was like
00:56:20well you know Trevor
00:56:21I was thinking about
00:56:21you know you and relationships
00:56:22and what we're talking about
00:56:23we're talking about
00:56:24my inability to be in a
00:56:26long-term relationship
00:56:27and I was trying to understand
00:56:28why
00:56:28and we're delving into it
00:56:30and she said
00:56:30I think it's because
00:56:31you are undateable
00:56:32and then she broke it down for me
00:56:34she said
00:56:34there are a few reasons
00:56:36I think you work too much
00:56:38I know you love your work
00:56:39but you work too much
00:56:40and that doesn't create
00:56:40a good balance in your life
00:56:42she said
00:56:43also
00:56:44you travel too much
00:56:46and being in the same place
00:56:48is crucial for building
00:56:49a solid relationship
00:56:51but I'll be honest with you
00:56:53those things are really
00:56:54just the side dish
00:56:56the main course
00:56:57and the real issue I have
00:56:59is
00:57:00as my therapist put it
00:57:01I have an inability
00:57:05to
00:57:06not say
00:57:07what is in my head
00:57:13and she taught me
00:57:14that one of the keys
00:57:16to a long successful relationship
00:57:19is knowing
00:57:20when to think
00:57:21and when to speak
00:57:24yeah
00:57:27and I was like
00:57:28I don't have that problem
00:57:29I'm a good communicator
00:57:30she's like no Trevor
00:57:30you often times
00:57:32you have thoughts
00:57:33and you immediately say them
00:57:34you just have the thought
00:57:36and it comes out your mouth
00:57:37and Trump was like
00:57:38tell him girl
00:57:48I was like I don't know
00:57:49I don't think
00:57:50I have that as a problem
00:57:51I think it's probably something
00:57:51she's like no no no
00:57:52I've got notes
00:57:53hold on
00:57:53I've got some notes
00:57:54and she pulled out the notes
00:57:56and she's like
00:57:56let's go through some examples
00:57:57and there was one example
00:57:58that really
00:57:59yeah
00:57:59she was right
00:58:03it happened
00:58:04with an ex-girlfriend of mine
00:58:05it was the fracture
00:58:06that led
00:58:07to the end of the relationship
00:58:09really
00:58:09it wasn't the moment
00:58:10but that fracture
00:58:11caused
00:58:12the outcome
00:58:14we were
00:58:15getting ready for bed
00:58:18it was an innocuous night
00:58:20brushing our teeth
00:58:21getting into the covers
00:58:23and then before we turned off the lights
00:58:25we started talking to each other
00:58:26and we got really cozy
00:58:28you know those moments
00:58:28where you're with the person you love
00:58:30and you
00:58:30you just find yourself
00:58:32in the rabbit hole
00:58:32of stories you've never told
00:58:34and feelings you've never shared
00:58:35and you're laughing
00:58:36and you can feel you're falling more in love
00:58:39and we're lying there
00:58:40on the pillows
00:58:40you know
00:58:41looking at each other
00:58:42and she's there
00:58:43staring at me
00:58:45and all of a sudden
00:58:45she's like
00:58:46hey um
00:58:49can I ask you a question?
00:58:51I was like
00:58:52yeah
00:58:53yeah of course
00:58:55she's like
00:58:57if you could change
00:58:58one thing about me
00:59:01what would you change?
00:59:07now I have since learned
00:59:11that there is a correct answer
00:59:14to this question
00:59:17and yes
00:59:18one correct answer
00:59:19regardless of how unique
00:59:20your relationship is
00:59:22if you want to win
00:59:23this game show question
00:59:26the answer you give
00:59:27if she says to you
00:59:28if there's a woman in your life
00:59:29and she says
00:59:30if there's one thing
00:59:31you could change about me
00:59:32what would you change?
00:59:33the correct answer is
00:59:34nothing
00:59:36aha
00:59:36yes
00:59:37I wish you were all there with me that night
00:59:40yes
00:59:42correct answer is
00:59:44nothing
00:59:45you say nothing babe
00:59:47I would change
00:59:48nothing
00:59:49about you
00:59:50because everything you are
00:59:53makes you perfect
00:59:54for me
00:59:57if anything
00:59:58can I be honest
01:00:00I would change myself
01:00:04I would change myself
01:00:07so that I would be better able to receive the love that you so freely give
01:00:12that is what I would change
01:00:16that's the unabridged answer
01:00:18should you wish to use it
01:00:20yeah
01:00:22that is not the answer I gave
01:00:25nope
01:00:26I said what was in my head
01:00:29she looked at me
01:00:30she said
01:00:30if you could change
01:00:32one thing about me
01:00:34what would you change?
01:00:36and I was like
01:00:37oh one thing
01:00:42oh one thing
01:00:46oh one thing
01:00:47one thing
01:00:48wow that's a tough one
01:00:49one thing
01:00:51only one
01:00:52okay let me think
01:00:53hold on
01:00:54let me think
01:00:54let me think
01:00:55it was only one thing
01:00:56what would I change
01:00:57what would I change
01:00:58okay okay
01:00:59um
01:01:00I think I got it
01:01:01if I could change
01:01:01only one thing
01:01:02about you
01:01:03I would change
01:01:05how you communicate
01:01:08during sex
01:01:11and she was like
01:01:12what?
01:01:15yeah
01:01:15and
01:01:16then it snowballed
01:01:19I know I was wrong
01:01:20so please
01:01:21don't judge me
01:01:22I know I was wrong
01:01:23and I'm working on it
01:01:23I'll explain to you
01:01:25what was going through my head
01:01:25alright
01:01:26what happened
01:01:27that night
01:01:28is
01:01:29first of all
01:01:29I thought it was a real question
01:01:30okay
01:01:32secondly
01:01:33secondly
01:01:34I was trying to express
01:01:36a feeling
01:01:36that I had
01:01:38and that feeling
01:01:38was a confusion
01:01:39that I would often have
01:01:40and sometimes a frustration
01:01:41when my girlfriend
01:01:42and I would be getting intimate
01:01:43right
01:01:44we'd be in an intimate setting
01:01:45and um
01:01:46she would say
01:01:46and I'm not trying to be lewd
01:01:47or anything right
01:01:48she would be like
01:01:49oh I'm gonna come
01:01:50I'm gonna come
01:01:50I'm gonna come
01:01:51right
01:01:51which by the way ladies
01:01:52is the greatest phrase
01:01:54you can ever say
01:01:54to a man
01:01:55like ever ever ever
01:01:56there is nothing
01:01:57a man wants to hear
01:01:58more in his life
01:01:59than that sentence
01:02:00you say that sentence
01:02:01we have reached
01:02:01the pinnacle of manhood
01:02:03we have achieved
01:02:04we have arrived
01:02:05yes
01:02:06you say that
01:02:06and we're like
01:02:07me Tarzan
01:02:08it's done
01:02:09it's done
01:02:10and it is so powerful
01:02:12on us ladies
01:02:12that we will
01:02:13we will reach
01:02:14a level of
01:02:15our masculinity
01:02:16that we didn't even knew
01:02:17we didn't even know
01:02:17we possessed
01:02:18yeah you say that to us
01:02:19and we will become stronger
01:02:20we will overcome
01:02:21things that we couldn't
01:02:22our fatigue
01:02:23goes out the window
01:02:24yeah
01:02:24yeah we forget about
01:02:25that cramp
01:02:26we
01:02:26like
01:02:28any situation
01:02:29like sometimes
01:02:30sometimes we can't breathe
01:02:31you know
01:02:31sometimes
01:02:32we can't breathe
01:02:33sometimes our nose is blocked
01:02:34and
01:02:35and
01:02:36and what we're doing
01:02:37at that time
01:02:38is we're moving
01:02:39from breath to breath
01:02:40right
01:02:40so we're doing our thing
01:02:41we're doing our thing
01:02:42we're doing our thing
01:02:43and then when we run out of air
01:02:44we
01:02:45like a whale
01:02:46breaching
01:02:48we'll pop up
01:02:50and then we'll dive back
01:02:52into the depths
01:02:52of your pleasure
01:02:54right
01:02:55and this is fine
01:02:56it's a rhythm that every man
01:02:57has figured out for themselves
01:02:58right
01:02:59but ladies
01:03:00understand
01:03:01we are going from breath
01:03:02to breath
01:03:02and when you say
01:03:03I'm going to come
01:03:05we then go
01:03:06this is not the time to breathe
01:03:10this is my calling
01:03:11I have but one breath
01:03:13and I shall use it well
01:03:16and so we hold it
01:03:17and we keep going
01:03:19we keep going
01:03:21we keep going
01:03:22and we try to get you there
01:03:24now the thing I didn't know
01:03:26at the time was
01:03:26when my ex would say
01:03:28the phrase
01:03:28I'm going to come
01:03:30what she actually meant
01:03:32was
01:03:33the action
01:03:34you're performing on me
01:03:35is quite pleasurable
01:03:37and I would like you to continue
01:03:40please continue
01:03:41exactly what you are doing
01:03:43right now
01:03:44at the same cadence
01:03:46and preferably
01:03:46same pressure
01:03:48don't get excited
01:03:49because I said that phrase
01:03:50don't switch things up
01:03:51just do exactly
01:03:53what you are doing
01:03:54now
01:03:55because you're on
01:03:56the right track
01:03:58you got this champ
01:03:59keep going
01:04:01before you were all over the place
01:04:03but this is it
01:04:05if you do this
01:04:06there's a good chance
01:04:07that I am going to reach my climax
01:04:10so you keep going buddy
01:04:11you got this
01:04:12I believe in you
01:04:13you're getting warmer
01:04:16that's what she meant
01:04:19right
01:04:20but you got to understand
01:04:21that's confusing
01:04:21that's confusing ladies
01:04:23right
01:04:23because you're saying this thing
01:04:25I'm going to come
01:04:26and I understand now
01:04:27like fellas
01:04:28when women say like
01:04:29I'm going to come
01:04:30in many ways
01:04:30they're saying it the same way
01:04:31a person at a bus stop
01:04:32would say
01:04:32the bus is going to come
01:04:34right
01:04:35they mean you are
01:04:36at the correct location
01:04:37for a bus
01:04:38to coincide with yourself
01:04:42this is where the bus
01:04:43will come to
01:04:45but the when
01:04:46is the issue
01:04:48the when is where
01:04:49we are not connecting
01:04:51because ladies
01:04:52men
01:04:52we are quite literal
01:04:53about this
01:04:54you see when women
01:04:54are saying it
01:04:55it's theoretical
01:04:55when women are like
01:04:56I'm going to come
01:04:57it just means
01:04:58that this is the right
01:04:59direction
01:05:00going could be
01:05:02three minutes
01:05:03she could
01:05:04she could come
01:05:05in 15 minutes
01:05:07it could be
01:05:07her next relationship
01:05:11nobody knows
01:05:14but you've got to
01:05:15understand ladies
01:05:15we're not breathing
01:05:18we're not breathing
01:05:18we're holding our breath
01:05:20we're at our limit
01:05:21you need breath
01:05:22to live
01:05:22this is probably why
01:05:24men live on average
01:05:2510 years younger
01:05:25than women
01:05:26because of all the
01:05:27breaths we've missed
01:05:27waiting for this to happen
01:05:29and it does not happen
01:05:29there's nothing wrong
01:05:30with it not happening
01:05:31it's just that we didn't know
01:05:32we didn't know
01:05:33because we're a lot more
01:05:33literal when we communicate
01:05:34we're simple creatures men
01:05:35it is what it is
01:05:37like a dog
01:05:37where's the ball
01:05:37there's the ball
01:05:38where's the ball
01:05:38there's the ball
01:05:39when men say
01:05:40I'm going to come
01:05:41it means that the come
01:05:42is going
01:05:47the moment is imminently
01:05:49upon you ladies
01:05:49that is what I mean
01:05:50when a man says
01:05:51I'm going to come
01:05:53this is the time
01:05:54there is no other
01:05:55there is no ad break
01:05:57you can take
01:05:58there is no pause
01:05:59you can make
01:05:59the come is happening
01:06:01in this moment
01:06:02you cannot blink
01:06:03you step in the road
01:06:05the bus will hit you
01:06:05that's what I'm saying
01:06:06the bus is there now
01:06:07the bus is there right now
01:06:09you'll be like
01:06:09where's the bus
01:06:10there's the bus
01:06:10there's the bus
01:06:11when he says
01:06:12I'm going to come
01:06:13that is it
01:06:14sometimes we already have
01:06:16I'm not going to lie
01:06:17sometimes it's already happened
01:06:19I'm just going to be honest with you
01:06:20sometimes it's already happened
01:06:21and we were trying to not make it happen
01:06:23and then we're like a little kid
01:06:24snitching on ourselves
01:06:25we just mess up the tents
01:06:26you know
01:06:27we're like
01:06:27mommy I'm going to break something
01:06:29in the kitchen
01:06:29it's already broken
01:06:31it's already broken
01:06:32and so that's why
01:06:33the worst thing you can say
01:06:34at that moment ladies
01:06:34is oh not yet
01:06:36no yet has already occurred
01:06:38yet has concluded
01:06:39and now our manhood
01:06:41has been crushed
01:06:41with this tiny little phrase
01:06:43you say
01:06:43not yet
01:06:44and then we're like
01:06:45oh yet
01:06:45and then we try
01:06:46but you cannot
01:06:46it's finished
01:06:47it's fading away
01:06:48we know it is
01:06:49and so then we just
01:06:50were like
01:06:50I'm going to do it anyway
01:06:51what do you mean
01:06:51you're doing it
01:06:52I'm doing it anyway
01:06:53oh my god
01:06:53I can't believe
01:06:54you wouldn't wait for me
01:06:54I'm a man
01:06:55I do whatever I want
01:06:56you can't tell me
01:06:57when I should or shouldn't
01:06:58so you don't care about me
01:07:00and that's why I'm still single
01:07:04yo DC
01:07:04you guys have been amazing
01:07:06man thank you so much
01:07:06for coming out tonight
01:07:11thank you for coming
01:07:13have a wonderful evening
01:07:15good night
01:07:30good night
01:07:32I love it
01:07:32my god
01:07:38you'll leave
01:07:40And I love it
01:07:42yours
01:07:43I love it
01:07:46but i love it
01:07:49now
01:07:51and it's
01:08:24I'll see you next time.
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