- 8 hours ago
Watch Bait Episode Season 1 Episode 3 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
Category
🐳
AnimalsTranscript
00:09Transcription by CastingWords
00:42I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:46got to stick with family.
00:46Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shit song
00:50you created.
00:50Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action man ritual.
00:55I reckon it will help them visualize me as Bond.
00:56Oh, okay. Well, there is a lot of chat. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're
01:00insane.
01:01This could cost you the role. Oh, fuck.
01:06Saju, you've been waiting for a while. Mommy, have you met Felicia?
01:10This is the team. This is your agent.
01:15Mommy, remember I said wait in the car and I'm going to get the sweet.
01:19No, give me a ticket, cousin. Felicia.
01:22What's going on?
01:23Saying was you just babysitting Bond. Well, that only auntie's waiting for you.
01:27You're a disgrace.
01:28Felicia, you're going to get him the job. Yes.
01:31If it kills me.
01:33My Shahj is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:35Okay.
01:35When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:37Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shahj?
01:41Oh, how specific?
01:42I don't remember that.
01:43Oh, look, he's got the military.
01:46Oh, just be a minute, okay?
01:47Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:48Okay.
01:49I don't know if you're a black lady.
01:52I'm sorry.
01:56You are a black lady.
01:58I know.
02:02The fuck is this?
02:03You tell me.
02:10Oh, you know, I can't get into this right now.
02:12Okay, listen, none of this matters, okay?
02:15No one needs a fucking news.
02:17However, this is a big problem.
02:20The person you assaulted, you broke his arm,
02:22and now he wants an apology.
02:24Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
02:26but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
02:29and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
02:32Assaulted?
02:33This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
02:36It was a can of spray paint, Shahj.
02:38Yeah, in hindsight.
02:39I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:41Okay, fine. Just give him his apology.
02:42Okay, good.
02:43All right.
02:43So how are you going to do?
02:44Oh, no.
02:45You have to apologize.
02:47On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:50Listen, it's Eid, so I've got to stick with the fan.
02:52My mom usually hosts, but I fucked her up this time.
02:54That's on me.
02:55So I can't be dealing with this.
02:56I have to be with the fan today.
02:58I have to make it right.
02:58This is about your career, Shah.
03:00Your credibility in your community
03:02for the people that you say you're doing all of this for.
03:09Has he got more followers of me?
03:10Shah!
03:12Shah Latif here.
03:14Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
03:44I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
03:50So you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:53You've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:55Oxford educated, but no sense.
03:58Why did you attack that young man?
03:59Don't listen to him.
04:01Come, let's take a selfie.
04:03And I want you to know
04:04that I'm going to do everything in my power
04:06to make up for it
04:07and to make it rightful.
04:09Right?
04:10Should have won black.
04:13It would go better
04:14with the animal which has gold palace.
04:17Hmm?
04:18Eid is my day.
04:19It belongs to all Muslims.
04:20What means?
04:21It's mine.
04:22And she took it.
04:23You know one thing she doesn't have?
04:25What?
04:27Her son.
04:29Saleem.
04:29You know, golden boy.
04:31I stood to buy a big shot.
04:33Always trying to compete with you.
04:35Bad shot.
04:36Probably getting a Russian prostitute president this second.
04:38Don't talk filthy.
04:42Orbital.
04:44She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:46You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:48We just...
04:49Come on.
04:51You worried about what Naughty Nyla thinks?
04:53Mundy Nyla.
04:54Mundy Nyla.
04:55Oh, my God.
04:56Mundy Nyla.
04:57She always shows skin
04:59because she's got no style.
05:01Look, where is she?
05:01She's probably too busy
05:02checking herself out in the mirror
05:04to come host her own party.
05:05Beautiful, but it's such a beautiful...
05:08Oh, my God.
05:11Oh, my God.
05:14Oh, my God.
05:15Oh, my God.
05:16Oh, my God.
05:17Oh, my God.
05:17Oh, my God.
05:23So happy you could come.
05:25We've decided to co-host this year.
05:27Miss Paata, you've done Kamal, Tahira.
05:30But you know, Naughty Nyla.
05:31How do you do it?
05:32She doesn't have to do it.
05:34She doesn't have to do it.
05:35She doesn't have to do it in the penthouse.
05:39The Quran says charity is a blessing.
05:41Please eat it in the garden.
05:42Please eat it in the garden.
05:43Eat it in the garden.
05:44Eat it in the garden.
05:45Eat it in the garden.
05:45Eat it in the garden.
05:46Eat it in the garden.
05:47What the fuck?
05:48Don't leave my side.
05:49Okay.
05:50Don't leave my side.
05:52Eat it in the garden.
05:53Eat it in the garden.
05:54Thanks for coming.
05:55Hello, ladies.
05:56Eat it in the garden.
05:58Eat it in the garden.
05:59What is my?
06:01Sit, no?
06:02In the same seat.
06:04Now he has passed.
06:05You're the eldest.
06:06No, thank you.
06:07I'm fine standing.
06:09Baba, go you a favor.
06:11Don't tell mommy, yeah?
06:12Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
06:13By raising the blood sugar?
06:16Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
06:19May I let him go?
06:22Maybe.
06:22Yeah, maybe.
06:23Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
06:24Something with mehra khan in it.
06:26No, no.
06:26Ye urdubi goro vidra bulta chud.
06:34Wait, I'm going to have some pot right now.
06:43Shah, good first try, good first try.
06:45But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:49First, you forgot to say the words, I'm sorry.
06:51Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:53He's buff, no?
06:55Keith says he's gone mental.
06:56Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:58All right, sorry.
06:58Can you man focus, please?
07:00This is the latest.
07:02Well, it's the guy who likes you.
07:04Hmm.
07:07Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop, it's their community like ten times.
07:13It feels like you're begging it.
07:14Maybe down the brow.
07:16I don't get it.
07:17What is a problem?
07:18I like you.
07:19What's up, man?
07:19I'm 22, mate.
07:21What were you trying to get wife-daw?
07:22Get it to me sooner rather than later.
07:25This is not going away.
07:27Hi, everyone.
07:28Shah Latif here.
07:29Now, last night at the King's Museum, a brother and I came into conflict.
07:34Now, I should not have reacted the way that I did.
07:37And the brother in question, perhaps, should not have run at me with a metal object the way that he
07:43did.
07:44Nuba is a community-led...
07:47It's not fucking community-led.
07:48The fact is, we're all in this together.
07:50And in the future, I promise to use my platform not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:57Well?
07:57Nuba is for...
07:59You want some chai or something?
08:02No.
08:04Nuba...
08:04Well, are we good?
08:05I'm good. Are you good?
08:06Yeah, I'm good, bro. Are we good?
08:08Well, I'm good. Are you good?
08:09Yeah, I'm good.
08:10I'm good, then.
08:11Nuba, not Nuba.
08:12What are you doing?
08:12Trying to focus, man. You are distracting me.
08:15All right.
08:16Yes.
08:17Yo, they got them little laddus over there with the pink and green balls on it. You want them?
08:20Big man, please. I don't want laddus right now, okay? I just want to concentrate.
08:24Aren't you supposed to be holding Ammi's hand?
08:26Oh, yeah. Shit. In a bit, yeah?
08:29Don't bring me no laddus.
08:30Well, before that...
08:33Need a bit.
08:33Need a bit.
08:34Need a bit.
08:36Need a bit.
08:38Need a bit.
08:39Need a bit.
08:40Need a bit.
08:40Need a bit.
08:40Need a bit.
08:41Where have you been?
08:41I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
08:44Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
08:46So if I just die standing here alone...
08:48Please, please don't do this now.
08:50You left me.
08:51I'm sorry.
08:52I'm not going to get up to you.
08:52Where are you?
08:54My Salim is coming.
08:55Where are you?
09:00Salim!
09:01My child!
09:05Salim!
09:11Salim!
09:31Salim!
09:32Salim!
09:33Salim!
09:34Salim!
09:35Look, Mr. Tobai.
09:36Look at him, the dancing monkey,
09:39doing his mother's dirty bidding,
09:41making Russian prostitutes pregnant look.
09:43No, he's not, Mummy.
09:44That was a joke I just made.
09:47Look at that fresh prey.
09:50Zulfi.
09:50Weakest of us all.
09:52I'm good man, I'm good you know
09:54Don't leave, Shahjoo, she's coming
09:55Don't leave
09:56Shahbeta, can I borrow your money for a minute?
09:58I need my co-host in the kitchen
10:00Okay, we're just gonna
10:01Okay, okay, no, no, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go
10:08Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay
10:10It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know
10:14It's off the charts
10:14People want more community-driven ride share
10:17Yes, Salim
10:18Yes
10:18What are you saying, bro?
10:19Yes, look at this guy
10:21You good?
10:21Yeah, come join us, man, join us
10:23I was doing that anyway
10:25Yeah, I got you some loaders, bro
10:26Thank you, thank you
10:27Yeah, that's why I never got your number
10:29How you been?
10:29I've been good, bro
10:30Yeah, you've been breaking shit
10:32What do you mean by that?
10:35Glass sealants
10:36Thank you, try it, man, try it
10:38And I got his arm
10:40It's just a fracture
10:41Hey, just to bring this back to what we were talking about before you got here
10:44Yeah
10:45You know, our number of drivers are growing by the day
10:47We'll be in all key five boroughs by June, so
10:50Muba!
10:50Sick idea, innit?
10:52I've been there from day one, I remember
10:53Bro, I'm so proud of this guy
10:54Gus Min is so proud
10:55And you know what's amazing?
10:56He's always been an entrepreneur
10:57If anything, he just went from selling grams to Instagram
11:05Just out of interest, what was your credit situation with the criminal record and everything?
11:09No problems whatsoever, no issues
11:11And just for clarity, I didn't go inside for selling mall
11:15It's not, it's just a bit of violent disorder
11:17It was, it was self-defense
11:18It was really beautiful in a way
11:20He's a ride or die and he was there for me
11:21Any credit issues though?
11:23No credit issues because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
11:26So if you need any credit, if you need financing, just talk to me
11:30Sorry, I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than sort of series A
11:34You see this conversation here?
11:36This is in fact the closest he's been to the business, right?
11:41In fact, I'll be honest with you, it's too close
11:43Okay, give me back my doodos then
11:47Ah, you know for me personally, the most important quality by Amoeba is in fact the quality of the relationships
11:55We're not just there for them when we want, because that's bullshit, that's fake
12:00Get the fuck off me bro
12:01I don't know
12:05And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer services, it's my thing
12:08That's one thing I picked up in Dubai, that's what we do best, hospitality, that's our culture
12:12One might say, like, the Muslim way of doing business
12:16I love the idea, I'm going to present it to the guys, see what they say
12:19Well, you're taking this, you're trying to get investment from Dubai
12:25Yeah, okay
12:26Yeah, you been?
12:28No, I'm just saying, you know, Dubai works for people with the, you know, more like, with the
12:33But, I mean, what the fuck's this guy going to do in Dubai, man? He's going to let you in
12:36bro
12:36You don't want to go there, mate, I'm all in, yeah? Remember that?
12:43He was disrespectful, he referred to your quiff like that, there was no need
12:46It looks good
12:48Shah, got your second apology, yeah, that's not gonna work
12:51First of all, what was up with that background?
12:54If you post that, you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich asshole
12:58Also, you forgot to say sorry again
13:01What the first class?
13:07Next year, Eid is back at yours, no?
13:08No, absolutely, yes
13:10Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila
13:13Tahira, don't bother me
13:15Everything's fine, right?
13:17No, nothing's fine
13:22Just because
13:28I worry for him
13:29For all of you
13:30It's so much pressure
13:32That's very kind of you to worry
13:34I see a bit of your sister in him
13:44Does Shahjahan have someone you can talk to?
13:47He has me
13:48Rukhaya had you too
13:49But she needed more help, no?
13:53And she doesn't know anything
13:55She was...
13:55Naila, please
13:57It's all good
13:58My son is going to be the next James Bond
14:01We all couldn't be more proud
14:07It's okay to talk about these struggles now
14:08Really?
14:12Thank you
14:13It's all good
14:15First class
14:22Thank you
14:24I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
15:04That's stupid, man.
15:12Shah, we need that apology.
15:14We're running out of time.
15:15I've literally written it out for you.
15:17Just find a quiet, neutral move.
15:20Record it and send it back now
15:21before it's too fucking late, okay?
15:25I don't know.
15:42Am I interrupting, Sammy?
15:44Yeah.
15:46A conversation.
15:48Can you fucking close the door, please?
15:52Is this like you two...
15:54I like her.
15:56Texting.
15:56Wow.
15:57So how long has this been going on?
15:58Six months.
15:59Three months?
16:01Okay, so this is nothing.
16:02Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
16:04I'm chill.
16:05I'm not going to tell anyone.
16:05Why do I come here?
16:06Can we not do this in front of Shah?
16:07I came here for you.
16:09But I never asked you to, did I?
16:10But I asked me to.
16:11I never...
16:11Calm down.
16:12I never fucking asked you to.
16:14And this, this whole thing you're doing here,
16:15this is what I'm talking about.
16:16This is the whole problem.
16:16So just to clarify,
16:17you didn't come in to see Zilfie then for the thing?
16:19No.
16:20Yes.
16:20Does he know, by the way?
16:21Oh, fuck's sake.
16:22Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
16:24I'm not going to say anything.
16:25I've got your back.
16:25I've got your back.
16:27Look, we don't have to tell anyone,
16:29but let's just be real about what this is,
16:31because this is something, right?
16:33Me and you both know it.
16:33What does that even mean, bro?
16:37You, you live a million miles away, okay?
16:39You have a whole life.
16:40You have fucking house keys, car keys,
16:43so, so many keys, okay?
16:44I have one key.
16:45I can give you keys.
16:46I don't want your keys, okay?
16:48I want mine.
16:49Yo, can I just step in here for a minute,
16:50offer maybe a different perspective
16:52from my own more mature experience, yeah?
16:54I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
16:58Alright?
16:58Alright.
16:59Now let's say,
17:00let's say you've been texting.
17:01There's some emotional ambiguity
17:04about where you both stand.
17:06Alright?
17:07Yeah?
17:07You can relate, right?
17:08You send a message,
17:09a heartfelt one.
17:10Instead of it going green, it goes grey.
17:14What does that mean to you?
17:16It means you're blocked.
17:19Fuck off, really.
17:20Yeah.
17:22Let me just show you this.
17:23Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
17:24Can I show you this quickly?
17:25No, no, no.
17:25Oi.
17:26Don't say anything to anyone.
17:28I'm chill.
17:30Salim, yeah.
17:35He's not fucking chill.
17:42With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
17:45Pasha?
17:46Okay.
17:47Well, he resides beautifully, but I think I should lead.
17:51How will you?
17:52Seated?
17:52I won't be seated.
17:54Why?
17:54Think about it.
17:54Let someone else lead.
17:56Listen, you asswipes.
17:58I can run circles around you idiots.
18:00I will lead.
18:08By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment,
18:13Shah Latifah is exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
18:16And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor,
18:21he's somehow liberating all of us.
18:23And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
18:25Come on.
18:27Come on.
18:38Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
18:40La Ilaha illa Allah.
18:43Allahu Akbar.
18:49Hey, Shah Latifah here.
18:51I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
18:55and avoidable.
18:56And I'm deeply sorry.
18:58Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking thing.
19:02Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:04Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
19:06Shah Latifah here.
19:07Last night at the King's Museum, I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object
19:12and apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
19:14Allah
19:19Hi, Shah Latifah here.
19:21Literally nothing to apologize for trying to save my career and my life.
19:25So I fuck you and your little tic-toc, you little...
19:34Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:34I'm sorry, dog.
19:59Hello?
20:02Yeah, is this Sid?
20:03Uh, yeah. Hi.
20:06Hi, this is Shah Latif.
20:08Is it? Actually.
20:10Yeah, it is actually. Bro, I just want to say, I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
20:19No excuses. I was banging out of order.
20:24I just don't know what came over me. I really hope you can find it in your heart to please
20:30forgive me.
20:31Yo, I appreciate this, man. Like, I really do. I was going to call my lawyers, but then the fact
20:39you called, man.
20:40Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
20:42I can't tell you how much this means, man. Legit.
20:48Well...
20:48Do you mind just sending me what you just said? Like, in a recording?
20:54Sorry?
20:55I need the engagement, bro.
20:57Right. I mean, I...
20:59I guess so.
21:00Nice, Ryan. Appreciate it.
21:02Alright. Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate. Just remember, keep the vid under 90 for the algorithm, yeah?
21:09Mm-hmm. How will you do?
21:10Fine. Safe. Thanks.
21:14Ah!
21:24Is that right?
21:27Wait, wait, wait, wait.
21:31What happened?
21:33He fell.
21:33We moved.
21:34Well, I wasn't praying on a chair already.
21:36Oh, you want to sit down?
21:37Yeah.
21:37Come.
21:38Easy, easy.
21:39About how's your breathing, okay?
21:41You okay? Huh? Why didn't you sit him down?
21:43But now you want to be involved. What the fuck's that supposed to mean?
21:45I'm doing something inside. You're for yourself. Don't come at me.
21:47You always fucking want to be the hero and you're never around.
21:49Alright, alright.
21:51Come here, mate. Huh? Baba?
21:53Is anyone getting any water?
21:55I'm glad you want to get a blanket or something.
22:00Are you good, bro?
22:02Bro, are you good?
22:03Are you dumb?
22:05He's a fucking diabetic and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
22:09Shabbat, bit up.
22:09Shabbat, just fuck off again, yeah?
22:11You better when I'm not around, that's what you're saying.
22:13No, no, he's not my dad. He's your dad.
22:16You know what? You think you're a fucking bad man.
22:19How? Fucking yeah, my people.
22:21How the fuck you gonna help your people
22:22if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
22:26It's okay with me.
22:26He's just crying about last night, bro.
22:28You came here to take me. You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
22:30I saw you giving out your little business cards.
22:31That's some sweet little minicap driver.
22:33Shut up, blow it, blow it, bro.
22:35He's been leech, man.
22:35He's been leeching off me my whole life.
22:37What are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
22:39Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
22:41He's trying to chirp his little sister.
22:42What? Only chirping.
22:44I love her.
22:45I... What the fuck, man?
22:46Are you fucking... Are you mad?
22:48Listen, don't listen to him. He's lost the fucking plot.
22:50He's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer.
22:51What? What freezer?
22:52In the garage and he's been talking to it.
22:54Are you talking to a pig's head?
22:55What if I have?
22:56What if I have? What if I have?
22:57Better listener than any of you lot.
22:59What?
22:59That's what happens when you're related to you guys.
23:00I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
23:02Hey!
23:03It's not!
23:05Chalo, Shahju.
23:06He's gone.
23:07Mom, I want you to go.
23:08Why are you? Why are you saying he's gone to me?
23:10No, no. I'm asking. Why is he saying that to me?
23:12Baba, what did I do?
23:13What did I do?
23:13I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
23:14I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
23:17Well, you lot would judge me.
23:18Huh?
23:18Why are you fucking touching me?
23:20Don't touch me.
23:20Shh.
23:21I'm trying to change your world.
23:22Alright?
23:23So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless, stinking, bitter-packy
23:27look at me.
23:28Get the fuck out of here, boss.
23:30Oh, I've got a problem, my mate.
23:31She blames you for what happened to your mum, bro.
23:33Shut up!
23:33Hey!
23:33Hey!
23:50Hey!
23:50Hey!
23:52Hey!
24:02Hey!
24:05Hey!
24:08Hey!
24:09Hey!
24:10Hey!
24:10Hey!
24:11Hey!
24:11Hey!
24:11Hey!
24:16Hey!
24:21one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:27one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:31one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:33one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:33one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:33one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:33one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:33one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:33one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:33one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:34one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one
24:34one one one
24:42If I am a man in the grave, I will be able to die
24:45I am your good, I am your good, I am your good
Comments