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  • 23 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
Transcript
00:00:02Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:06Please, save my child.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:43Rejuvenate.
00:00:51Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:58What?
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:04Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:34Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:49Rejuvenate.
00:01:53See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo! Let's go!
00:02:16Please, my brother's been in a coma the last two years. We have no idea what the illness is. If
00:02:23anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:26Be Lysander Armstrong. His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:02:32He's so hot.
00:02:34Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:38Money, fame, power. It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:56Grandma! I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma? Grandma.
00:03:03When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:07I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:16Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:22We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time.
00:03:26We're jokes.
00:03:27Oh, no!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:39Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:43Grant me a wish?
00:03:44Yes, you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:47The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What? Oh, Jesus. This is giving me a migraine. Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been
00:03:57doing that?
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:01Okay. Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:11Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:13Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:26My migraine's gone. Okay, then let's go. If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on. Come on.
00:04:47How is he? What is the diagnosis? Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:55Aren't you the queen of medicine? You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:58Don't worry, General. I'm the Angel Herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:25I have no clue what this is.
00:05:29Oh, it looks like the Angel Herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:37Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
00:06:06If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:15The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess heal.
00:06:23That's correct. Her right rewrites the rond, and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:30That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:47bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her. James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer will give her five million dollars.
00:06:58There's no need.
00:07:13I'll save your son.
00:07:16Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's gonna save your brother? Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly. God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew! She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:40That flea-infested, dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:50Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:03Could you hold this?
00:08:04Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:05You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:11I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:20Who knows what an unskilled whore girl like her would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:30Ew!
00:08:32Disgusting.
00:08:33Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:34Security, get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:39If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:54You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:09:00But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:09You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:12And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:19Devin, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:22No, Miss Trixie, my brother is a hero to me.
00:09:26I can't lose him.
00:09:28Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:38Also, he's great with puppies.
00:09:40He'd make a great husband.
00:09:44Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:45As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her.
00:09:56Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:02Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time.
00:10:07But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:35What the hell are you doing?
00:10:39I knew she was a perv!
00:10:41She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:44Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane?
00:10:48Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:53He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy,
00:10:56and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphie.
00:11:00Yeah, right.
00:11:01I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:11:04Oh, okay.
00:11:05I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:07I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:11And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:18This?
00:11:25It is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is, what, the rod of a sepulis?
00:11:36Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:41I agree.
00:11:42I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery,
00:11:45what is the point of doctors who have studied for years?
00:11:48We are all certified.
00:11:50But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:54She's right about everything.
00:11:58Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:03And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:12:07Endogenic cryomorphie.
00:12:08Oh.
00:12:09And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:10Because I just discovered it.
00:12:13This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:17The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:19A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:22But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:26What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:28I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:33Precisely.
00:12:34You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:36You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:41I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:45Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:49And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:53which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:56Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:59Oh my God.
00:13:01If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:04I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:07Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:13It means you're being schooled by me, and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:19Then let's have a bet.
00:13:21If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:13:26And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:32These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:37You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:40Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:43There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:47Don't worry.
00:13:48I got this.
00:13:51It's a deal.
00:13:53I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:56No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:04Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:11Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:14Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:27I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:30I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:33I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:38Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:41Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:14:42What for?
00:14:42Don't listen to her.
00:14:45She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:50Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:53Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:15:01What?
00:15:02Did you just call me?
00:15:05There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:10Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:14Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:20Oh, yeah?
00:15:21Hey, you want to see real pain?
00:15:22Where's the dog?
00:15:23Well, put down the dog!
00:15:24With pleasure.
00:15:26With pleasure.
00:15:41Left leaves the wrong bereft.
00:15:47You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:53She's been poisoned!
00:15:56It was her!
00:15:57Do you see any poison on me?
00:16:00Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:06This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:09Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:11Of course.
00:16:12I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:16If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:35Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:37This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:39I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way, angel herbalist.
00:16:43This is what I call malpractice.
00:16:47This isn't fatal.
00:16:49She'll live.
00:16:49But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:52Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:54Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:55Right this way.
00:16:56Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:58What the hell is going on?
00:16:59You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:03Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:05Every second counts.
00:17:08Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:13General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:19Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:23Hold on.
00:17:24You two are going in there alone?
00:17:27If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:33All right.
00:17:34But I warn you, no funny business.
00:17:58Let's go for this.
00:18:16Let's go for this.
00:18:38you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman general
00:18:43armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him she could blackmail you for millions
00:18:50that's what i would do if i was that poor and then the armstrong family will be the laughing
00:18:55stock of the nation held for ransom by a homeless woman dad you can't seriously be listening to
00:19:02that we have to have faith where did you actually find this low light uh on the streets are you
00:19:11shitting me you found this bum on the streets are you nuts you don't know her you don't know her
00:19:17background she could be a psychotic murder that is it general you have to go in and stop this now
00:19:22you're right that's it i'm shutting down this clown show right now james let's go yes sir
00:19:38i told you all to stay out
00:19:45this is a critical moment for you we can't be interrupted otherwise we'd both die
00:19:54i'm not gonna let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son
00:20:00i'm gonna save him myself
00:20:06you see that general this isn't just a gull-dicking con woman this is a witchcraft
00:20:13i know what this is this is the dark witch i've heard of her she uses her dark magic to
00:20:20steal the
00:20:21hearts of young handsome men and she eats them alive oh i'm gonna kill that bitch before she takes
00:20:26my son james get the swat team yes sir
00:20:34you regain consciousness
00:20:45help me i just want
00:20:52something's wrong
00:20:56you were drunk with an aphrodisiac
00:20:59lysander armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
00:21:04that's one more thing i'm saving you from
00:21:13sir
00:21:14the swat team is here captain morales
00:21:19my son is trapped behind there with a devious man-eating witch i need you to do whatever you
00:21:25can to tear down that door rest assured general armstrong we'll break down that door and bury that
00:21:31bitch alive
00:21:46who the fuck are you and why the hell are we naked
00:21:51good you're awake i'm saving you
00:21:54saving me by bathing with me
00:21:58who are you your fucking spy
00:22:00i swear to god i'll have you arrested for this
00:22:05you're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stipper
00:22:10i will never
00:22:10i will really
00:22:25look who's guilty now
00:22:29look i don't know what the fuck this is
00:22:31all right but it is a biological fact
00:22:33a man is attracted
00:22:35to
00:22:36a naked woman
00:22:37and her breasts
00:22:38science okay it just means that my body
00:22:41oh shut up
00:22:45you're distracted me with your phone
00:22:47and i'm a professional
00:22:49i hear lysander's voice
00:22:50captain do something now
00:22:52ready
00:22:58we're almost there
00:22:59aim
00:23:02get him boys
00:23:04get him
00:23:06fire
00:23:10fire
00:23:10fire
00:23:11fire
00:23:11fire
00:23:12fire
00:23:13fire
00:23:14fire
00:23:14fire
00:23:15fire
00:23:16fire
00:23:16fire
00:23:17fire
00:23:19fire
00:23:20fire
00:23:22fire
00:23:24fire
00:23:26fire
00:23:26fire
00:23:26fire
00:23:26fire
00:23:26fire
00:23:37fire
00:23:44homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living how is she going to save someone
00:23:49else's life that's right the queen angel and i are already the top female doctors in the world
00:23:55if we can't save him no one can except for the goddess healer think about it we heard lysander's
00:24:01voice he's been in a coma for two years miss trixie must have woken him up you're right this
00:24:07homeless girl is maybe the goddess maybe this homeless girl is really the god no no absolutely
00:24:17not there is no way this hobo girl is better than us how could you know for sure right now
00:24:23what we need
00:24:23to do is not interrupt miss trixie you're wrong sir this homeless snake is using the forbidden
00:24:30techniques on master lysander it's called borderline revival she uses torturous pain to wake the
00:24:36patient but only temporarily it's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears that means my son
00:24:45is in tremendous pain i'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing
00:24:51witch my son doesn't deserve this he is dying right now naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant then
00:24:59it
00:24:59looks like it's up to me the witch doctor only i know the right techniques to take her down
00:25:06my son's life is in your hands you heal him i will give you whatever your heart desires
00:25:13i don't know who you are but there is no way i am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:19from me
00:25:21this isn't the finishing touch i must now give you the kiss of life
00:25:26so we can both survive
00:25:47it's poison gas
00:25:50poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over master lysander poison gas my son
00:25:57is in there you're jeopardizing his life as well no don't worry general gold diggers like her only
00:26:03care about themselves soon she'll come out crying to mommy then we can reverse the poison on your son
00:26:10and then he can marry one of us they really won't stop until they get both of us killed
00:26:18i made a promise to you that i'd save you it's now or never
00:26:34what the hell are they doing in there it's been over 10 minutes wait a second you don't think that
00:26:41they're you you suffocated my brother and miss trixie in there don't point your fingers at me
00:26:47if your brother's dead it's because of that homeless gold digger oh my god yeah she's the
00:26:52one who sealed the door shut i mean she probably locked themselves in there on accident miss trixie
00:26:58wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother this is
00:27:02taking way too long captain morales it's time to get out the big guns these bazookas can flatten even a
00:27:11bomb shelter bazooka she won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself crap oh my god get
00:27:17back
00:27:18suck ready hey oh shit quit your whining and stand down
00:27:42the parasite's been extracted shoot her dead now do i need to fix your hearing too i said stand down
00:27:50don't listen to her she's a fraud a termite to the field of medicine i just saved this man that
00:27:56otherwise would have died in your care if i'm a termite then you're worse than a disease spreading
00:28:02tick wait a second are you saying you cured my son he'll wake in just a moment you can see
00:28:08for yourself
00:28:09well now you're just asking to be exposed that is it no more stalling general if you won't punish her
00:28:16i will
00:28:21don't hurt her
00:28:26he's a cure
00:28:33his pulse is regular in fact it's never been better
00:28:40there's no sign of illness infection or disease
00:28:51miss trixie did it dad lysander's warm again he's not cold and pale like before and his heart is
00:28:57strong come feel it i saved my son thank you next time don't go seeking medical advice from those with
00:29:06ill will your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands i've learned my lesson
00:29:13i will not let these two nut jobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again wait wait no no there
00:29:19is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen angel
00:29:25and i
00:29:28the goddess healer
00:29:33could you really be the goddess of healing but rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well
00:29:39over 100 years old and you don't look a day after 20. it doesn't matter who i am what matters
00:29:46is that
00:29:46the patient is healthy again devon i've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your
00:29:51brother take care no wait miss trixie we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet he's right
00:29:58we are men of our words and as i promised you my heir lysander would take you as a wife
00:30:03if you cured him
00:30:04and you did just that of course you're welcome to marry me instead oh i really appreciate it but
00:30:11i'm sorry i i'm already engaged
00:30:18already engaged i am i've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years
00:30:24and he's coming back today but don't be disappointed really i'm no one special i just
00:30:31got lucky with your brother some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments but
00:30:36you're still lysander's savior please let me give you what i promised take the gold no really i don't
00:30:44need anything i just believe in doing good in the world
00:30:59even know what i want to know if i'm doing really quickly about you what i am the person who's
00:31:17richest woman in the world, marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:25I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:32Oh my God. I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:31:39No, no, no, no, my standard. My standard was not what's supposed to be mine.
00:31:45I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:50You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession. Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:57No, we're not brides.
00:31:59No, she's just better than us.
00:32:02Oh my God.
00:32:06We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh? She's no average Jane.
00:32:10No, she isn't. She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:13But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable
00:32:19looking doll?
00:32:19But think about the impenetrable walls. No normal person could have done that.
00:32:23Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care. I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:28I have to find her. I have to make her my life.
00:32:31She won my heart over, too. But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:36All right, listen. I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:45I'm dumping Trixie, so I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house now.
00:32:53Trixie paid for this house. She waited for you for three years.
00:32:58She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:33:00And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now. One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:05So get lost.
00:33:07Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:16Grandma.
00:33:17Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:21I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:23I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:27In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:30So sign over the house now.
00:33:37You gave me this ring and asked me to wait. And I did. For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:44Yet you cheat on me with my best friend. And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:50Do you have no shame?
00:33:51We were together for three years and it was a complete waste of my life when I could have been
00:33:56with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:03That's how much she would owe me if I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business.
00:34:09I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:17Oh yeah? Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
00:34:23She grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:26And now she's the CEO of an entire corporation.
00:34:33And you?
00:34:35You're still nothing.
00:34:37So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:39Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:42Look what she got me for my engagement.
00:34:45Oops.
00:34:47Yeah.
00:34:48That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:57You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:59I certainly did.
00:35:00In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:13Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:15That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:17You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:35:21My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:35:28How dare you insult her?
00:35:31It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:32Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:35Poor Edna.
00:35:36She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:39What is he talking about, Josie?
00:35:41Show her, Bob.
00:35:47This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:35:50She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:52She was begging on the street for money.
00:35:56I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:59Even if you got no game, I got street cred I got off-keep.
00:36:03You dig?
00:36:03The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:06And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:10Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:15I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:17I want to see how regular, everyday people live so that I can help them.
00:36:22Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
00:36:27What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:28It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:36:37Enough bullshitting already.
00:36:38Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:36:54At your wedding, I will.
00:36:56What?
00:36:57If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend,
00:37:03why should I do good by you?
00:37:05I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
00:37:10You fucking bitch!
00:37:11You better keep your word.
00:37:13Oh, that's rich.
00:37:15After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:37:18Do remember that.
00:37:26Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:29They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:33Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:37:36I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:40Trillions?
00:37:42That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:37:47It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
00:37:52I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:37:56That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:38:01It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:05But please, Trixie dear, I know it was too broken your heart, but embellishing your worth and who you are,
00:38:14it will only delay the healing process.
00:38:17You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:38:19After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills, I vowed that I
00:38:25would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:38:29That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to Charity.
00:38:33You've always had an angel's heart.
00:38:35I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right, who actually deserves you.
00:38:41You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:45Oh, yeah.
00:38:51You said Trixie's crashing at my wedding?
00:38:53She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:55She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:39:00When nobody steps on Snake, Snake bites back hard.
00:39:04So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:07Yeah.
00:39:08You mean, we broadcast that video of you?
00:39:16Yes.
00:39:17Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:39:20She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess against my
00:39:24presidential glow-up.
00:39:26Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:39:37Welcome home, brother.
00:39:40Welcome home, General!
00:39:44Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie.
00:39:47This is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:49He served with her regiment in the Marines.
00:39:51You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
00:39:54Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:58So she waited for him for years, and then he betrayed her.
00:40:01Fucking coward.
00:40:02According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:40:05Then we should join her.
00:40:08Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
00:40:13So she needs our support.
00:40:14Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:16Yes, sir!
00:40:17We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
00:40:20Then let's roll.
00:40:36Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:40:39Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:40:41Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract, allowing
00:40:46my biomedical company to go public.
00:40:53Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:40:55Like who?
00:40:56Stowe, Butch is taking my last name.
00:40:58Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:41:02You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a partay, after all.
00:41:07I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:13The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
00:41:19It's an honor.
00:41:20And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:41:25We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:28We'll let the wedding begin!
00:41:32Not so fast.
00:41:33The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:41:58You two really are a match made in hell.
00:42:00So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:42:04I don't recognize her from any of our elite circles.
00:42:07Who is she?
00:42:08Uh, this is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:11Just watch.
00:42:15Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:16This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:17You lost.
00:42:18I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
00:42:20You know, being this poor.
00:42:24Me, but my meal.
00:42:26Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:42:30And what evidence do you have of that?
00:42:32Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:42:34I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:37Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:42:40And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:44Sasa, she's like so obsessed with me.
00:42:46She's like...
00:42:48See, everyone?
00:42:49Butch already cut ties with his ex, but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still
00:42:55show up to my wedding to suck up to me.
00:42:58This is what poor sad girls do.
00:43:00They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:43:05Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:06You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:11Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:18You giving me the contract?
00:43:21You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:43:25So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president to give me a billion
00:43:30dollar contract?
00:43:32We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:34And I saw potential in you.
00:43:36Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:43:37But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:41Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
00:43:45This is what us rich girls do.
00:43:47They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:50Damn right.
00:43:51You were too embarrassing for me.
00:43:55Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:56I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:43:59Bravo.
00:44:01Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:02Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
00:44:04Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:44:07Drink her sup.
00:44:07Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:09She's the gold digging, blood sucking leech.
00:44:12I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone
00:44:16for me, butch.
00:44:18You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:44:23Okay, enough!
00:44:24You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:44:26Your moral posturing.
00:44:28But guess what?
00:44:30Morals are just lies to make you lame girls feel better about yourselves.
00:44:33That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:37Because I've got the material goods.
00:44:39And you're just all empty talk.
00:44:41I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:44:43Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:44:47See this?
00:44:59Oh my god.
00:45:01Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:45:06The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:08No, absolutely not.
00:45:10I don't believe it.
00:45:12You all sound so scared already.
00:45:14Don't worry.
00:45:15This isn't that contract.
00:45:17It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:45:23See everyone?
00:45:24She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:26But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:45:28Look at her following orders.
00:45:29I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:45:32Like a good little peasant slave.
00:45:35That house is worth all her life savings.
00:45:40Do you want to, uh, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:45:54You must understand me.
00:45:56I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:45:59And I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:00I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:46:07Bro!
00:46:08She's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:10She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket-investing
00:46:14baddie.
00:46:15You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:18It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:20Uh, I know what this is.
00:46:22You've gone delusional.
00:46:24And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some Prince Charming will
00:46:29scoop you into money forever?
00:46:30Well, that's not happening.
00:46:32Security!
00:46:33Lock the doors.
00:46:33This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:46:39This is where your dreams will die, bitch!
00:46:45We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:47She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:49Butch Tanner.
00:46:51Well, he's gonna wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:46:54Let's go.
00:46:59You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:47:01I've saved plenty of people from much worse.
00:47:05Including your head of command, Butch.
00:47:07General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:10You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:12He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:16You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:20So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:26No one here is gonna believe you.
00:47:27If you really cured the incurable General, then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:47:32Man, she's not.
00:47:33You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:37Show them, Butch.
00:47:39Oh my god.
00:47:43See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:45Trixie's just a freeloading beggar.
00:47:51She won't leave me and Marissa alone, because we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:55I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:57Sasa, she has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military.
00:48:03Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
00:48:08How despicable.
00:48:09She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:13Get out of here.
00:48:14No one wants to marry you.
00:48:15No free meals for the poor.
00:48:17Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:19This is high society.
00:48:21So you're either born on a silver spoon, or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
00:48:26Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
00:48:35I already have everything one can dream of, but I valued our friendship, Marissa, which is why I came here
00:48:40to give you a second chance.
00:48:42To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
00:48:45But no.
00:48:46You stooped so low, it disgusts me.
00:48:49Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
00:48:54And who knows if you've already started offering sexual services.
00:48:59Well then, why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:49:03My brother will never take you back.
00:49:06No man will marry an embarrassed man like you.
00:49:09But make me happy?
00:49:11And I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:49:25How dare you hit my brother!
00:49:27I'm never letting you leave here alive!
00:49:30That's awesome.
00:49:31I had to do something.
00:49:32Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:34After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:49:39Oh, is that so?
00:49:42Security!
00:49:44Get down on your knees and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here,
00:49:50or I'll pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:54I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:49:57Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
00:50:02Dream on!
00:50:04You wish General Lysander scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
00:50:08You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:10Enough!
00:50:12You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:18On the count of three!
00:50:20I think I quite like it here.
00:50:21Two!
00:50:33This wine is so delicious.
00:50:36One!
00:50:37Shoot!
00:50:40Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:51:01Who the hell is this?
00:51:06I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:07Did they hurt you?
00:51:09No, I'm fine.
00:51:11But, um, when did I become your future wife?
00:51:15You saved me, Trixie, remember?
00:51:18I'm a man of my word.
00:51:20They're never gonna hurt you ever again.
00:51:22Really, it was nothing.
00:51:24I saved you because you're a good man, not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:51:35I see what this is.
00:51:36You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:51:38Look at you guys all lovey-dove.
00:51:40Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:42She waited for you for three years.
00:51:43This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
00:51:48Virtue?
00:51:50Don't make me laugh.
00:51:52She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:54No man who, in a hundred-foot pole, would want to touch her.
00:51:58She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:52:05I see her in the Marines.
00:52:08I'm a major.
00:52:10Look, man, I know Trixie is like a, I don't know, like a seven now that she's all cleaned up,
00:52:16but don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:52:20Ow!
00:52:21Ow!
00:52:25A real man never talks about a woman that way.
00:52:29You're a coward.
00:52:40We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them.
00:52:44You're very gracious, Trixie, you know that?
00:52:49You're only getting off of it because she's so kind, so you're going to do me the favor
00:52:52of never coming near her again.
00:52:53You understand?
00:52:54You want to fuck with me, you little dipshit?
00:52:56I'm a fucking major.
00:52:58You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts.
00:53:01I'll, I'll destroy you.
00:53:03Do you really not know who this is, Butch?
00:53:05I thought you were in the Marines.
00:53:07What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:11He was just a supply boy.
00:53:15War hero?
00:53:17Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:20Poor girl.
00:53:21Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:25A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries.
00:53:27Trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:53:34A bum girl and a pimp.
00:53:36What a pair.
00:53:38Seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long.
00:53:42Maybe she tried to pay some off some more, don't you think?
00:53:46Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:55What is all this?
00:53:56Trixie, listen.
00:53:57I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life.
00:54:01But I know that we shared a moment.
00:54:06I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear.
00:54:10It's not in my nature.
00:54:12I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:15Listen, Trixie.
00:54:16Trixie, I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:22So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:25So I know that you're the one for me.
00:54:29This guy's either nuts or a really, really good actor.
00:54:34Oscar worthy.
00:54:35Oscar worthy.
00:54:37No.
00:54:38First gift.
00:54:43Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:54:46So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:54:49Worth $500 million.
00:54:51Previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:55Second gift.
00:54:59This contains all the rights to my entire fortune, which is now yours.
00:55:04Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:55:07It must be that easy.
00:55:08They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:11They've got nothing left.
00:55:12Why, Sander, I really don't care for any of us.
00:55:15No, look, I know.
00:55:17I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:20Okay?
00:55:21Which is exactly why, well, my third gift is, um, well.
00:55:26And I'll help.
00:55:36Oh!
00:55:38Oh!
00:55:41Oh-ho-ho-ho!
00:56:00will you marry me
00:56:03you know I can't say no to this doggo
00:56:09yes
00:56:10I will marry you
00:56:27go go power couple
00:56:31okay stop
00:56:32the only power couple here is Butch and I
00:56:36let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is
00:56:40no man in their right mind
00:56:43would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:56:46hey
00:56:47I don't care if she's homeless or not
00:56:48but I'm making this woman my wife
00:56:50which means that she will be treated as
00:56:53and cherished as the most precious woman on earth
00:56:55understand
00:57:00you still don't realize
00:57:02that my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:57:05this is General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:15as if
00:57:16like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:19would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie
00:57:22yes
00:57:22the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock
00:57:25market
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society
00:57:31I bet my life you're all just
00:57:34actors
00:57:34then you better enjoy your last breath
00:57:36come on Lysander what are we waiting for
00:57:38let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie
00:57:40what can a bunch of piss poor people do to us
00:57:42the elites
00:57:44infect us with your poor people bad luck
00:57:46she wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:57:49truth is she's just a useless
00:57:52lazy bitchin bum
00:57:53she's utterly unmarriable
00:57:58I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence
00:58:02I'd handle them myself but
00:58:06I'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:58:09go ahead Lysander
00:58:17yes hello this is Lysander please
00:58:19bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me
00:58:22oh my gosh I'm so scared
00:58:24anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:58:34uh hello
00:58:36yes
00:58:39what
00:58:44I'm a bankrupt
00:58:53hey hey hey
00:58:55are you sure that was the call Sasa?
00:58:57that was a real call?
00:58:59people don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:59:01my company's dead
00:59:03evaporated
00:59:03it's in thin air
00:59:08that's impossible
00:59:10who are you?
00:59:11what did you do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho
00:59:13you said you're the secretary of health right?
00:59:16and you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market
00:59:20could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:23then that means
00:59:26you're really Lysander Armstrong
00:59:29the richest and most powerful man in the country
00:59:33Trixie's married
00:59:34the famed war hero
00:59:36the man every girl wants and every man wants to be
00:59:41now you believe me
00:59:42those who do bad will always end up losing everything
00:59:46there's got to be some trick to this
00:59:48you guys are just bums trying to extort money from us
00:59:51Sasa, Sasa, Sasa
01:00:00I know why you're all over Trixie because you've been in the military for so long
01:00:04you don't know what a real woman can do for you
01:00:07let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time
01:00:12do you rub your hands for me or I'll have them removed for you
01:00:15I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are
01:00:26guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:31Sasa was just trying to save the company
01:00:34I don't blame her at all
01:00:35your double standards are incredible
01:00:37okay you don't want me
01:00:39fine
01:00:39but there's plenty of other efficiency
01:00:41I can give you a room full of pageant winners
01:00:4418 years old
01:00:45rush for the taking
01:00:54I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie
01:00:56thank you, Devin
01:00:59Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me
01:01:02your best friend
01:01:03by stealing my fiance
01:01:05but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:10you're an insult to all good women out there
01:01:12no, to all of humanity
01:01:13so now, everything that I've ever given you to
01:01:16I'm taking it all back
01:01:20wait, everyone, stop
01:01:25they're impostors
01:01:30I just got off the phone with the president
01:01:32and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:34because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
01:01:37so, we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:40the goddess healer?
01:01:41you mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine
01:01:44approved of mine?
01:01:45bio-medical products?
01:01:47yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
01:01:51the goddess healer's motto is
01:01:53the right rewrites the wrong
01:01:55the left leave the wrong bereft
01:01:58that means she's rewarding me
01:02:00the president would never let your company go bankrupt
01:02:03in fact, she's on her way now
01:02:07so you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here
01:02:12isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:14who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:15if the president and the goddess healer approves of my products
01:02:19who cares about this washed-up war hero?
01:02:21we can break his legs, break his arms, no one would even bat an eye
01:02:24she even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services
01:02:28FBI!
01:02:29FBI!
01:02:31you're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft
01:02:36gotcha
01:02:41guess i still get the last laugh, trixie
01:02:43no, don't arrest her!
01:02:46trixie's a good person!
01:02:48please officer don't arrest her!
01:02:50grandma, mr. rogers, mrs. Williams, what are you all doing here?
01:02:54the neighbors heard about the breakup between you and butch
01:02:56We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:03:00Listen, officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:03:05She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:03:08Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition,
01:03:11Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out.
01:03:15She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:18My fiance really is an incredible woman.
01:03:21She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:28You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:32My brother is not a criminal.
01:03:34He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:03:38Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:03:41And that's why it's twice the crime is stealing his identity.
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist.
01:03:49And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:03:58But I promise that I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:04:04If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:04:07But don't fuck with my fiance.
01:04:09You don't get to decide, punk.
01:04:10Let's go!
01:04:34Get him!
01:04:35If you can.
01:05:08If you want to arrest me, I'm going to arrest you.
01:05:26Is that enough pain?
01:05:28Or do you want more?
01:05:37Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
01:05:42Grandma.
01:05:44Meet my new fiance.
01:05:48Wow, your new fiance.
01:05:50He's so manly.
01:05:52Much better than your last one.
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:57It's Butch's loss.
01:05:58Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:06:02She's like a shining star in the sky and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:07Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:06:08I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, Sam?
01:06:12Drown out the poor!
01:06:13Drown out the poor!
01:06:15Drown out the poor!
01:06:16Drown out the poor!
01:06:18Drown out the poor!
01:06:19Drown out the poor!
01:06:20See, Trixie?
01:06:21You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:24You can't compete against me, even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:28We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:30So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:35Let them eat cake!
01:06:46You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:48Grab what you can, fam.
01:06:49Attack!
01:07:07You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:15What the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was.
01:07:19I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding.
01:07:32You forgot I had a gun, too.
01:07:35That'll teach you from messing with the Wighams.
01:07:37Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:39We're quartered.
01:07:40I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:42Devin, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:45I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:48They will be punished.
01:07:52Now hold still for me.
01:07:56Right.
01:07:57Rewrites the world.
01:08:08Holy fuck!
01:08:10Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:11By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:13Is she the goddess healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now.
01:08:20Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:22See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:25No.
01:08:26Please.
01:08:27I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:28Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:30Sure.
01:08:32You hear that?
01:08:33She's just some average homeless girl in the streets.
01:08:36She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:38While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:43Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:08:48I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:51And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:53God?
01:08:54Wrong.
01:08:56But you're close.
01:08:58I'm bullshit.
01:08:59I'm going to show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:09:04You want to cross the line so bad?
01:09:06Then let's see you try.
01:09:07Charge!
01:09:17The hell is this?
01:09:19This is the line between life and death.
01:09:23Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:31You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:33What if it's a trap?
01:09:34That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:36We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:37She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:40Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:43I will.
01:09:47Left leaves the wrong left.
01:09:56I'm fine.
01:09:57Nothing happened.
01:09:58You'll see soon enough.
01:10:00Oh, please.
01:10:01I really want to die.
01:10:03And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:07Whoops.
01:10:08Just crossed it again.
01:10:10Whoops.
01:10:10And again.
01:10:12Nothing's happening.
01:10:14Stop!
01:10:15Oh.
01:10:15Oh.
01:10:19Shut the fuck up.
01:10:20Shut the fuck up.
01:10:21Shut the fuck up.
01:10:24No!
01:10:25No, Pa.
01:10:26Hey.
01:10:27What did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything.
01:10:31Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:34I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:36If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:39Come on.
01:10:41Major, are you not going to help your own brother?
01:10:43How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:45See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:50Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:53Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:01Please!
01:11:02You're so sore I wouldn't marry you if you'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:05Oh, please.
01:11:06You hurt us first.
01:11:08At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:11But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:16Marissa, thanks for taking this lowlife from me.
01:11:20You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:23You think anyone will want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:28When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34Don't touch my wife.
01:11:38And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:43You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:45But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:49That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:52Oh, really?
01:11:54Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:57You've got nothing on me.
01:12:02Yes.
01:12:03Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:10Goddess!
01:12:11Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:14Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:19Get the VP.
01:12:20We're leaving now.
01:12:24Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:34You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:36A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:39Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:43Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:47You hear that, everyone?
01:12:48There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:54She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:13:00No, my granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:02But reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:13:08Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:11Oh, my God.
01:13:16Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:23and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:28Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:31I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:34You can only dream of what you can never have, while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:40Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:45It ain't working.
01:13:46You can't just fake the...
01:13:50Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary.
01:13:53It's like real magic.
01:13:55Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:14:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08No.
01:14:09Trixie, look, I believe you.
01:14:12You saved me.
01:14:14Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:17No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:21We'll riot against you now.
01:14:23Tear her apart!
01:14:24Tear her apart!
01:14:26Tear her apart!
01:14:28Tear her apart!
01:14:29Tear her apart!
01:14:30The vice president arrives!
01:14:48Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:53You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:56Wait, what?
01:14:59He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:15:01No, no.
01:15:02We've been through this already once, okay?
01:15:04Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:06This actor Trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:15:11But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:16Yes, we all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:18What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:24And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:27The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell?
01:15:31And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:35He is the general.
01:15:37Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:39Did you hear that?
01:15:41Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:45So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:48We got the VP and the president.
01:15:50On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:55I told you.
01:15:56Now punish them, Vice President Langley.
01:15:58This is treason.
01:16:00Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:16:08Hurry!
01:16:09The Goddess Healer needs us.
01:16:13You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:15My brother is a war hero.
01:16:17He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:20He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:21If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:16:23Enough!
01:16:24You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:28Not just your brother.
01:16:30Yeah.
01:16:31It's okay.
01:16:33Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:36I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancé's life.
01:16:41And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:43I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:49I truly saved a good man.
01:16:56I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancé.
01:16:59And what can you do about it?
01:17:01Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:17:04My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:17:08Let's try it out on them.
01:17:12Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:17:13There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:15Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:18Despicable!
01:17:18What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:24Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:28Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:33Oh!
01:17:43Wait, that's the President.
01:17:55What the hell?
01:17:57Hey, idiots!
01:18:05Oh, my gosh!
01:18:07I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:18:09That was...
01:18:10They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:18:14What is this?
01:18:15Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:19This is a war crime.
01:18:21These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:23You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:25I can shoot whoever I want.
01:18:26I have the presidential contract.
01:18:28With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:30And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:35What are you doing?
01:18:35Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:18:39That is easy.
01:18:40There's no need.
01:18:42I'll save everyone.
01:18:56It's raining gold!
01:19:01What's happening?
01:19:02Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:19:04It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:07She...
01:19:08She is...
01:19:10She is a criminal.
01:19:12Don't worry, Madam President.
01:19:13We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:15I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:17Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:20What are you talking about?
01:19:21The president literally came here to give me my billion-dollar contract.
01:19:34This contract?
01:19:36Yeah!
01:19:37Yes!
01:19:38Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:56My contract, you bitch!
01:19:59And that's not all.
01:20:12This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:14There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:18Don't you realize?
01:20:19Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:23You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:26Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:28And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:31So prepare yourself.
01:20:32Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:35What are you going to do?
01:20:37The president is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:43You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:47Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:50So what's your final decision?
01:20:54I'll...
01:20:54She's going to give me my billion-dollar...
01:21:02I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:08Why?
01:21:09Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:11You're supposed to be giving me the billion-dollar...
01:21:14You wish, you idiot!
01:21:18I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:24I don't understand.
01:21:25I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:31And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:36You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:40The one and only.
01:21:44And it's...
01:21:47Her.
01:21:48Woo!
01:22:02Welcome, goddess.
01:22:15You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:18How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:21Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:25I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person, to help those in need, and make sure the man
01:22:31I chose loved me for me.
01:22:33No, so that means the billion-dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39Then she took it away just like that.
01:22:42That was her golden ticket.
01:22:44You were once my fiancé and best friend, but after everything you've done, we're officially
01:22:49getting ties with you both.
01:22:51No, please, I swear to you.
01:22:53I didn't know you were an actual saint.
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:59Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:00She's an amazing person.
01:23:02And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:06She's going to be my wife.
01:23:07Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:16I love you.
01:23:30All her gold, all her clothes, all that could have been mine.
01:23:35This is all your fault.
01:23:36This is all...
01:23:37You seduced me!
01:23:39Don't help me!
01:23:40You were the one that came onto me, you himbo!
01:23:43Please, Trixie, give me another...
01:23:47Jan, I want to be rich again!
01:23:49I'll be your slave.
01:23:51I'll kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize, but it's too late now.
01:23:57All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:01You two should be locked up.
01:24:03And she shall.
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction, arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:11It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:24:13I never loved you.
01:24:14It's your fault!
01:24:15I was only with you for your money.
01:24:17I didn't care.
01:24:18You were rich.
01:24:19I'll see myself now.
01:24:22Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:24We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness just like you.
01:24:31I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:33That is why I saved you.
01:24:35With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:41Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:47Let's party!
01:24:48Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:51Right now?
01:24:52Yes.
01:24:53Well.
01:24:56Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do.
01:25:02I do.
01:25:03You may kiss the bride.
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