- 1 day ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The goddess of healing
00:00:03She is
00:00:04eccentric and elusive and no one has ever seen her before whoever finds the goddess healer will give her five
00:00:11million dollars
00:00:13Oh kind stranger, let me repay you by granting your wish. I wish for you to cure my brother's illness
00:00:19Can you do that?
00:00:20My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved his country from a terrorist attack
00:00:24If he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person. It's a deal
00:00:30I'll save Lysander Armstrong. How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:00:35I mean you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good
00:00:38That's right the Queen Angel and I are already the top doctors in the world if we can't save her
00:00:45No one can don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm now stop getting in my
00:00:51way
00:00:53Every second counts
00:00:57Healer goddess hear my plea
00:01:02Please save my child
00:01:20Rod of a sepulius
00:01:39Rejuvening
00:01:48Rejuvening
00:01:49Praise she is the healer goddess
00:01:52No, please don't call me about it. I'm just glad I could help
00:02:01Here you go miss. Thank you
00:02:05Why be way down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:02:10in need
00:02:23You must be rushing off to go find your jewels because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:02:28run
00:02:31Aw, it's okay little guy
00:02:34I'll fix you right up
00:02:40Right rewrites the wrong
00:02:45Right rejuvenate
00:02:50See, good as the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb
00:02:56Come on Cleo, let's go
00:03:13Please my brother's been in a coma the last two years
00:03:17We have no idea what the illness is if anyone can help cure him we will pay you handsomely
00:03:22The elizander armstrong his military family basically owns the entire global stock market
00:03:28He's so hot
00:03:30Does he come with the money?
00:03:32Yes, he'll even marry you if you can cure him money fame power
00:03:37It's all yours
00:03:41Are we still moving forward miss Trixie?
00:03:44Yes, give the presidential contract to Marissa
00:03:48Oh, I have another call coming in
00:03:52Grandma
00:03:52I'm dying
00:03:54Save me Trixie
00:03:56Grandma
00:03:58Grandma
00:03:59When are you getting married?
00:04:01I'm already a hundred years old
00:04:03I'm gonna keep you healthy forever grandma
00:04:05And Butch is still on deployment so that's why I haven't been married yet
00:04:12Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:04:18We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes
00:04:32Please go feed your dog miss. Don't let it starve like you
00:04:35Oh, kind stranger
00:04:37Let me repay you by granting you a wish
00:04:39Grant me a wish?
00:04:40Mm-hmm
00:04:41As you can barely feed yourself
00:04:42The downfall of humanity
00:04:44It all starts with the loss of faith
00:04:47What?
00:04:48Jeez, this is giving me a migraine
00:04:51Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:04:54I'm telling you to have some faith in me
00:04:57Okay, uh
00:04:59I wish for you to cure my brother's illness
00:05:02Can you do that?
00:05:03I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to
00:05:07Cleo, stay right here for a second
00:05:09Don't go too far, Cleo
00:05:14Hold still
00:05:21What? My migraine's gone
00:05:24Okay, then let's go
00:05:25If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you
00:05:27Come on, come on
00:05:42Oop
00:05:42How is he?
00:05:44What is the diagnosis?
00:05:45Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him
00:05:48I'm sorry, I don't know what this is
00:05:50Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:05:52You're supposed to be one of the best
00:05:54Don't worry, general
00:05:55I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the east
00:06:00I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle
00:06:21I have no clue what this is
00:06:25Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all
00:06:30That's why we saved the best for last
00:06:32Me, the witch doctor
00:06:35I'll save your son, Lysander
00:06:47He's not budging, there's no movement
00:06:49Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is
00:06:56Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors
00:06:59They've tried all these methods and they've all failed
00:07:02If we can't save him, there's only one person who can
00:07:08Who?
00:07:11The goddess of healing
00:07:15Wait a second, you're not talking about the legendary goddess you
00:07:19That's correct, her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft
00:07:25That's her motto
00:07:26It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals
00:07:29We are nothing compared to her
00:07:31She is eccentric and elusive, no one has ever seen her before
00:07:36If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son
00:07:41I don't care if I go bankrupt
00:07:43I will find her, James, come
00:07:46Put out a bounty
00:07:48To the entire world
00:07:49Whoever finds the goddess healer
00:07:52Will get the five million dollars
00:07:54There's no need
00:08:09I'll save your son
00:08:12Who the hell is she?
00:08:13Dad, she says she can cure Lysander
00:08:15She's gonna save your brother?
00:08:17Don't be ridiculous
00:08:18How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:08:22Exactly
00:08:23God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier
00:08:26She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich
00:08:29Ew, she even brought a filthy dog with her
00:08:32I bet it has fleas
00:08:34That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion
00:08:39Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us
00:08:46Don't touch him
00:08:49They say don't judge a book by its cover
00:08:51But I can see from all your faces that you've failed
00:08:54So step aside
00:08:56I'll take it from here
00:08:58Could you hold this?
00:08:59Ho, ho, ho, ho
00:09:00You're not gonna touch my son
00:09:02I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general
00:09:06I know a gold-digging whore when I see one
00:09:09I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash
00:09:14Who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some
00:09:19A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:09:26Ew, disgusting
00:09:27Go back to being a prostitute
00:09:30Security!
00:09:31Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now
00:09:34Let's go
00:09:34If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life
00:09:41Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail
00:09:47Maybe we should give her a try
00:09:49You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud
00:09:52All right, I'll give you a shot
00:09:55But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall
00:10:01Is that any way to ask for help?
00:10:04You'd be blessed to have me
00:10:06And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness
00:10:09But since I'm not welcome here
00:10:12I'll leave
00:10:14Devon, come find me when you have a different wish
00:10:17No, Miss Trixie
00:10:18My brother is a hero to me
00:10:20I can't lose him
00:10:23Well, if he's a hero to you
00:10:26Then that means he must be a good person
00:10:29My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
00:10:33Also, he's great with puppies
00:10:35He'd make a great husband
00:10:38Who says I want to marry him?
00:10:40As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you
00:10:47Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her
00:10:49I mean, look at her
00:10:51Even if she cleaned herself up
00:10:53You couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her
00:10:56Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters
00:11:00Continue wasting your time
00:11:02But I'm saving this patient
00:11:14Oh, okay
00:11:17What's happening?
00:11:19What are we doing?
00:11:30What the hell are you doing?
00:11:33I knew she was a perv
00:11:35She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us
00:11:37Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:11:41Are you insane?
00:11:42Security, smash her face in for licking my son
00:11:46He's born with congenital heart disease
00:11:48Has a peanut allergy
00:11:49And the condition he has is called
00:11:52Endogenic cryomorphy
00:11:53Yeah, right
00:11:54I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him
00:11:58Oh, okay
00:11:58I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:12:01I even have the badge of universal medicine right here
00:12:05And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what?
00:12:12This?
00:12:19Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here
00:12:21What?
00:12:23So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what?
00:12:28THE rod of a sepulius?
00:12:30Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from
00:12:33If you're going to be this delusional?
00:12:35I agree
00:12:35I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery
00:12:38What is the point as of doctors who have studied for years?
00:12:42We are all certified
00:12:44But Lysander does have congenital heart disease
00:12:48She's right about everything
00:12:52Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses
00:12:55One of them is bound to be right
00:12:56And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
00:13:00Endogenic cryomorphie
00:13:02Oh
00:13:02And of course none of you have heard of it
00:13:04Because I just discovered it
00:13:06This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy
00:13:11The chances are a billion to one
00:13:12A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery
00:13:15But lucky for you all
00:13:16You've hit the jackpot by finding me
00:13:20What a bunch of baloney
00:13:21I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good
00:13:26Precisely, you are just a scamming prostitute
00:13:30You don't compare to meet us
00:13:32Who actually studied real medicine
00:13:34I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school
00:13:39Oh, so she went to the stripper circus instead
00:13:42And now she's here putting on this clown show
00:13:45Coming up with fake diseases
00:13:46Which mean nothing if you can't wake him up
00:13:50Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:13:52Oh my god
00:13:54If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up
00:13:58I think you all should grow parts of your brain back
00:14:00Which by the way that condition is called an encephaly
00:14:05What is that supposed to mean?
00:14:06It means you're being schooled by me
00:14:08And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees
00:14:12Then let's have a bet
00:14:14If you can't heal him
00:14:17We'll break your hands
00:14:20And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore
00:14:26These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined
00:14:30You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:14:33Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them
00:14:37There's too many lives at stake
00:14:41Don't worry, I got this
00:14:45It's a deal
00:14:47I'll save Lysander Armstrong
00:14:49No one is dying on my watch
00:14:57Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years
00:15:04Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:15:08Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything
00:15:20I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you
00:15:23I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband
00:15:26I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing
00:15:31Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit
00:15:34Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what for?
00:15:36Don't listen to her!
00:15:38She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her
00:15:43Firstly, this is called greatness
00:15:46Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character
00:15:54What? Did you just call me?
00:15:58There's a man's life at stake here and you're standing in my way
00:16:02Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm
00:16:07Now stop getting in my way or I promise you
00:16:10You will be bubbling at the mouth very soon
00:16:12Oh yeah?
00:16:13Hey, you wanna see real pain?
00:16:15Where's the dog?
00:16:16Well, put down the dog!
00:16:17With pleasure
00:16:34Left leaves the wrong breath
00:16:41You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor
00:16:46She's been poisoned!
00:16:48It was her!
00:16:49Do you see any poison on me?
00:16:52Medicine in the right hands can save lives
00:16:54But in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison
00:16:58This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine
00:17:01Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:17:03Of course
00:17:05I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes
00:17:08If I want to save someone, even the grim reaper can't stop me
00:17:28Why is she spitting blood?
00:17:29This wasn't supposed to happen
00:17:31I thought you said even the grim reaper can't get in your way
00:17:34Angel herbalist
00:17:35This is what I call
00:17:38Malpractice
00:17:40This isn't fatal, she'll live
00:17:42But she deserves a little punishment
00:17:44Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:17:46Jacuzzi is ready?
00:17:47Right this way
00:17:48Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
00:17:50What the hell is going on?
00:17:52You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:56Then stop getting in my way, every second counts
00:18:00Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:18:05General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation
00:18:11Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:18:15Hold on, you two are going in there alone?
00:18:18If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in
00:18:25All right, but I warn you
00:18:28No funny business
00:18:59Thisbodan is the most powerful in the nation
00:18:59People...
00:19:10Hands out
00:19:30You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
00:19:35Exactly!
00:19:36What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:19:38She could blackmail you.
00:19:40For millions.
00:19:42That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:19:44And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
00:19:47Held for ransom.
00:19:49By a homeless woman.
00:19:51Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:53We have to have faith.
00:19:55Where did you actually find this little life?
00:20:00Uh, on the streets.
00:20:02Are you shitting me?
00:20:04You found this bum on the streets?
00:20:06Are you nuts?
00:20:07You don't know her.
00:20:08You don't know her background.
00:20:09She could be a psychotic murderer.
00:20:11That is it, General.
00:20:12You have to go in and stop this now.
00:20:14You're right.
00:20:14That's it.
00:20:15I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:20:17James, let's go.
00:20:18Yes, sir.
00:20:29I told you all to stay out.
00:20:31I told you all to stay out.
00:20:36This is a critical moment for you.
00:20:38We can't be interrupted.
00:20:40Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:20:45I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:20:51I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:53No.
00:20:54No.
00:20:55No.
00:20:58You see that, General?
00:20:59This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:21:01This is a witchcraft.
00:21:04I know what this is.
00:21:06This is the dark witch.
00:21:08I've heard of her.
00:21:09She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men, and then she eats them alive.
00:21:15Oh.
00:21:15I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:21:18James, get the SWAT team.
00:21:21Yes, sir.
00:21:25You're regaining consciousness.
00:21:36Help me.
00:21:38I just want to...
00:21:43Something's wrong.
00:21:46You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:21:49Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:54That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:22:04Sir?
00:22:05The SWAT team is here.
00:22:07Captain Morales.
00:22:09My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:22:15I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:22:17Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:22:20We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:22:27Bright rewrites the world.
00:22:33You're human.
00:22:37Who the fuck are you?
00:22:38And why the hell are we in it?
00:22:41Good.
00:22:42You're awake.
00:22:43I'm saving you.
00:22:44I'm saving you.
00:22:46By bathing with me.
00:22:48Who are you?
00:22:49Your fucking spy?
00:22:51I swear to God, we'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:55You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stippor.
00:23:00I will never.
00:23:01Oh, really?
00:23:16Look who's scouting now.
00:23:19Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right, but it is a biological fact.
00:23:23A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:23:29It's science, okay?
00:23:30It just means that my body is physically...
00:23:31Oh, shut up.
00:23:32...is physically...
00:23:35You're distracting me with your funny.
00:23:37And I'm a professional.
00:23:39I hear Lysander's voice.
00:23:41Captain, do something now.
00:23:43Ready!
00:23:48We're almost there.
00:23:50Aim!
00:23:53Get him, boys.
00:23:54Get him!
00:23:56Fire!
00:24:00Fire!
00:24:01Fire!
00:24:01Fire!
00:24:01Fire!
00:24:05Fire!
00:24:09Fire!
00:24:13Fire!
00:24:14Fire!
00:24:15Fire!
00:24:15Fire!
00:24:15Those theme of seals.
00:24:17How is this possible?
00:24:19It's not even a scratch.
00:24:21I told you this is dark magic.
00:24:23Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:24:25No.
00:24:26I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:24:28She's not the dark witch.
00:24:30Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:24:34This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:24:38How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:24:40That's right.
00:24:41The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:24:45If we can't save him, no one can.
00:24:48Except for the Goddess Healer.
00:24:49Think about it.
00:24:50We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:52He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:54Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:55You're right.
00:24:56Wait.
00:24:56This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
00:25:01Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
00:25:04No!
00:25:04No!
00:25:06Absolutely not.
00:25:07There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:25:10But how could you know for sure?
00:25:12Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:25:15You're wrong, sir!
00:25:16This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:25:21It's called borderline revival.
00:25:23She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:25:26But only temporarily.
00:25:28It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:25:32That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:25:36I'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can.
00:25:38To kill that antler rod bearing witch.
00:25:41My son doesn't deserve this.
00:25:43He is dying right now, naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant.
00:25:48Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:25:50The witch doctor.
00:25:51Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:56My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:58You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:26:02I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:26:08from me.
00:26:10This is it.
00:26:12The finishing touch.
00:26:14I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:26:17So we can both survive.
00:26:37It's poison gas.
00:26:38The poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:26:43Poison gas?
00:26:45My son is in there.
00:26:46You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:26:48No, don't worry, General.
00:26:50Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:53Soon, she'll come out crying to mommy.
00:26:56Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:59And then he can marry one of us.
00:27:01They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:27:07I knew they promised you that I'd save you.
00:27:10It's now or never.
00:27:23What the hell are they doing in there?
00:27:25It's been over ten minutes.
00:27:27Wait a second.
00:27:28You don't think that they're...
00:27:30You!
00:27:31You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:27:34Don't point your fingers at me!
00:27:35If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:27:39Oh my god.
00:27:40Yeah?
00:27:40She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:27:42I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:27:46Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:27:51This is taking way too long.
00:27:53Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
00:27:57These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:28:01She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:28:05Crap.
00:28:05Oh my god.
00:28:06Get back, son.
00:28:08Ready.
00:28:10Aim!
00:28:10Oh shit.
00:28:15Quit your whining and stand down.
00:28:29The parasite's been extracted. Shoot her dead now.
00:28:32Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:28:35I said stand down.
00:28:38Don't listen to her. She's a fraud.
00:28:40A termite to the field of medicine.
00:28:42I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:28:46If I'm a termite, then you're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:28:51Wait a second. Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:54He'll wake in just a moment. You can see for yourself.
00:28:57Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:29:00That is it. No more stalling, General.
00:29:03If you won't punish her, I will.
00:29:08Don't hurt her.
00:29:14He's a cure.
00:29:21His pulse is regular. In fact, it's never been better.
00:29:27There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:29:38Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:29:40Lysander's warm again. He's not cold and pale like before.
00:29:44And his heart is strong. Come, feel it.
00:29:48I saved my son. Thank you.
00:29:51Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:54Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:59I've learned my lesson.
00:30:00I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:30:05Wait, wait. No, no.
00:30:07There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the Queen,
00:30:12Angel, and I.
00:30:15The goddess healer.
00:30:20Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:30:23But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look a
00:30:29day after 20.
00:30:30It doesn't matter who I am. What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:30:35Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother. Take care.
00:30:39No, wait.
00:30:41Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:30:44He's right.
00:30:45We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife
00:30:50if you cured him, and you did just that.
00:30:52Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:57I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry. I...
00:31:02I'm already engaged.
00:31:05Already engaged?
00:31:06I am. I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years.
00:31:11And he's coming back today.
00:31:13But don't be disappointed.
00:31:15Really, I'm no one special.
00:31:17I just got lucky with you, brother.
00:31:20Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:31:23But you're still Lysander's savior. Please, let me give you what I promised. Take the gold.
00:31:28No, really.
00:31:30I don't need anything.
00:31:32I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:31:38Trixie? It's your fiancé. He's back. And he says he's breaking up with you.
00:31:45I must go.
00:31:52Hobo close. Halo glow. I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:58It was just dumb luck.
00:32:00She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:32:03She could have been the richest woman in the world, marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:32:12I'm gonna marry that homeless woman.
00:32:18Oh, my God. I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:32:25No, no, no, no, no, Lysander! Lysander's job was supposed to be mine!
00:32:32I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly snitch have him!
00:32:36You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession. Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:32:43Wait! No! We're not brides!
00:32:45No, she's just better than us!
00:32:48Oh, my God!
00:32:52We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:55She's no average Jane.
00:32:56No, she isn't. She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:59But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable
00:33:05-looking doll?
00:33:05But think about the impenetrable walls. No normal person could have done that.
00:33:09Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care. I have never met a woman like that.
00:33:14I have to find her. I have to make her my life.
00:33:17She won my heart over, too. But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:33:22Alright, listen. I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:33:31I'm dumping Trixie, so I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things, out of my house now.
00:33:39Trixie paid for this house. She waited for you for three years.
00:33:44She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:33:46And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now, one with some serious fuck-you money.
00:33:51So get lost.
00:33:53Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:34:02Grandma.
00:34:03Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:34:06I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:34:08I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:34:13In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:34:16So sign over the house, now.
00:34:23You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:34:26And I did.
00:34:27For three years while you were deployed.
00:34:30Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:34:32And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:34:35Do you have no shame?
00:34:37We were together for three years and, uh, it was a complete waste of my life when I could have
00:34:41been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:49That's how much you would owe me if I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business.
00:34:54I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:35:02Oh, yeah?
00:35:04Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
00:35:08She grew up even poorer than you.
00:35:11And now she's the CEO of an entire corporation.
00:35:16Dude!
00:35:18Oh!
00:35:19And you?
00:35:20You're still nothing.
00:35:23So you think she's an upgrade?
00:35:24Of course she's an upgrade.
00:35:27Look what she, uh, got me for my engagement.
00:35:30Oops.
00:35:32Yeah.
00:35:33That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:35:42You gave her the presidential contract?
00:35:44I certainly did.
00:35:45In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:57Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:59That break-up must have hit her hard.
00:36:02You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:36:06My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:36:12How dare you insult her?
00:36:15It's okay, Grandma. Let's not stoop to that level.
00:36:20Poor Edna.
00:36:20She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:36:23What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:36:26Show her, Bob.
00:36:31This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:36:35She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:36:37She was begging on the street for money.
00:36:40I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:36:44Even if you got no game, I got street cred I got out of keep. You dig?
00:36:47The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:50And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:54Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:59I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:37:01I want to see how regular, everyday people live.
00:37:05So that I can help them.
00:37:07Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
00:37:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:37:13It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:37:21Enough bullshitting already. Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:37:38At your wedding, I will.
00:37:40What?
00:37:41If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing you with my best friend,
00:37:46why should I do good by you?
00:37:48I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as my charity to you.
00:37:54Fucking bitch!
00:37:55You better keep your word.
00:37:57Oh, that's rich.
00:37:58After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:38:02Do remember that.
00:38:10Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:38:13They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:38:17Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:38:20I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:38:26That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:38:31It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
00:38:36I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:38:39That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:38:44It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:48But please, Trixie dear, I know it was to broken your heart, but embellishing your worth and who you are,
00:38:57it will only delay the healing process.
00:39:00You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:39:02After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical pills.
00:39:07I vowed that I would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:39:12That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to charity.
00:39:15You've always had an angel's heart.
00:39:18I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right.
00:39:22Who actually deserves you.
00:39:24You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
00:39:27Oh, yeah.
00:39:33You said Trixie's crushing your wedding?
00:39:36She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:39:38She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:39:43I hope when nobody steps on Snake, Snake bites back hard.
00:39:47So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:49Yeah.
00:39:50You mean, we broadcast that video of you?
00:39:58Yes.
00:39:59Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:40:02She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess against my
00:40:07presidential glow up.
00:40:09Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:40:17There he is.
00:40:20Welcome home, brother.
00:40:22Welcome home, General!
00:40:26Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:40:31He served with your regiment in the Marines.
00:40:33You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
00:40:36Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:40:40So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her.
00:40:43Fucking coward.
00:40:44According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:40:47Then we should join her.
00:40:50Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
00:40:55So she needs our support. Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:58Yes, sir! We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
00:41:02Then let's roll.
00:41:18Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:41:20Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:41:22Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour my company will be receiving the presidential contract, allowing
00:41:28my biomedical company to go public.
00:41:34Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:41:37Wakeham.
00:41:38Still butch is taking my last name.
00:41:40Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:41:43You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a par-tay after all.
00:41:48I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:55The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
00:42:01It's an honor. And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:42:07We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:42:10Let the wedding begin!
00:42:13Not so fast. The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:42:38You two really are a match made in hell.
00:42:41So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:42:45I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles. Who is she?
00:42:48Um, this is our, uh, entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:52Just watch.
00:42:55Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:57This isn't the homeless shelter. You lost.
00:42:59I bet she's here to bum a meal off us. You know, being this poor.
00:43:05Me? Bum a meal?
00:43:07Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:43:10And what evidence do you have of that?
00:43:12Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:43:15I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:43:17Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:43:21And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
00:43:24Sasa, she's like, so obsessed with me.
00:43:28See, everyone?
00:43:30But already cut ties with his ex, but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my
00:43:36wedding to suck up to me.
00:43:38This is what poor, sad girls do.
00:43:41They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:43:46Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:47You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:51Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:58You, giving me the contract?
00:44:01You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:44:05So how could you possibly have a pool to get the US fucking president to give me a billion dollar
00:44:11contract?
00:44:12We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:44:14And I saw potential in you.
00:44:16Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:44:18But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:44:22Don't be all sore now just cause I stole your man.
00:44:25This is what us rich girls do.
00:44:27They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:44:30Damn right.
00:44:32You were too embarrassing for me.
00:44:35Sasa tramples you any day.
00:44:37I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:44:40Bravo!
00:44:41Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:43Quick!
00:44:43Somebody put that on a memoir.
00:44:45Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:44:47You should make her sup.
00:44:48Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:49She's the gold digging, blood sucking leech.
00:44:52I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, butch.
00:44:58You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:45:03Okay, enough!
00:45:03You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:45:06Your moral posturing.
00:45:08But guess what?
00:45:09Morals are just lies to make you lame girls feel better about yourselves.
00:45:13That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:45:16Because I've got the material goods.
00:45:18And you're just all empty talk.
00:45:20I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:45:23Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:45:26See this?
00:45:38Oh my god.
00:45:40Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:45:45The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:47No.
00:45:48No, absolutely not.
00:45:49I don't believe it.
00:45:51You all sound so scared already.
00:45:53Don't worry.
00:45:54This isn't that contract.
00:45:56It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:46:02See everyone?
00:46:03She's just trying to bluff us.
00:46:05But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:46:07Look at her following orders.
00:46:08I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:46:11Like a good little, uh, peasant slave.
00:46:14That house is for all her life savings.
00:46:19You want to, uh, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:46:33You misunderstand me.
00:46:35I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:46:38And I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:41I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:46Bro, she's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:48She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket-investing
00:46:53baddie.
00:46:53You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:56It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:58Uh, I know what this is.
00:47:01You've gone delusional.
00:47:02And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some Prince Charming will
00:47:07scoop you into money forever?
00:47:09Well, that's not happening.
00:47:10Security!
00:47:11Lock the doors.
00:47:12This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:47:18This is where your dreams will die, bitch!
00:47:23We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:47:25She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:47:28Butch Tanner.
00:47:29Well, he's gonna wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:47:32Let's go.
00:47:36You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa? I've saved plenty of people for much worse.
00:47:42Including your head of command, Butch.
00:47:45General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:47You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:50He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:54You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:58So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:48:03No one here is gonna believe you.
00:48:05Have you really cured the incurable General?
00:48:07Then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:48:10And she's not.
00:48:11You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:48:14Show them, Butch.
00:48:21See for yourselves, everyone.
00:48:23Trixie's just a freeloading beggar.
00:48:28She won't leave me and Marissa alone cause we're rich as fuck now.
00:48:33I'm a major in the Marines.
00:48:35Sasa, she has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military.
00:48:40Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
00:48:45She's so despicable.
00:48:46She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:50Get out of here. No one wants to marry you.
00:48:52No free meals for the poor!
00:48:54Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:57This is high society.
00:48:59So you're either born on a silver spoon or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
00:49:03Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here,
00:49:06maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
00:49:12I already have everything one can dream of.
00:49:14But I valued our friendship, Marissa.
00:49:16Which is why I came here to give you a second chance.
00:49:19To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
00:49:22But no.
00:49:23You stooped so low, it disgusts me.
00:49:27Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
00:49:31And who knows if you've already started offering sexual services?
00:49:36Well then.
00:49:38Why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:49:40My brother will never take you back.
00:49:43No man will marry an embarrassment like you.
00:49:46But make me happy?
00:49:48And I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:50:01How dare you hit my brother!
00:50:03I'm never letting you leave here alive!
00:50:05I lost that.
00:50:08Don't worry, my dear.
00:50:10After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:50:15Oh.
00:50:16Is that so?
00:50:18Security!
00:50:20Get down on your knees and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here, or I'll
00:50:26pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck!
00:50:30I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:50:33Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
00:50:38Dream on!
00:50:40You wish General Lysander scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
00:50:44You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:46Enough!
00:50:47You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:54On the count of three!
00:50:55I think I quite like it here.
00:50:57Two!
00:51:08Mmm.
00:51:09This wine is so delicious.
00:51:12One!
00:51:13Shoot!
00:51:13Wait!
00:51:16Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:51:25It's...
00:51:26It's...
00:51:36Who the hell is this?
00:51:41I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:42Did they hurt you?
00:51:44No.
00:51:45I'm fine.
00:51:46But, um...
00:51:47When did I become your future wife?
00:51:50You saved me, Trixie.
00:51:53Remember?
00:51:53I'm a man of my word.
00:51:55They're never gonna hurt you ever again.
00:51:57Really, it was nothing.
00:51:59I saved you because you're a good man, not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:52:05Ahem.
00:52:10I see what this is.
00:52:11You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:52:13Look at you guys all lovey-dove.
00:52:15Don't try to pin this on her.
00:52:17She waited for you for three years.
00:52:18This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
00:52:23Virtue?
00:52:24Don't make me laugh.
00:52:26She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:52:29No man who, in a hundred foot pole, would want to touch her.
00:52:33She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:52:39I see her in the Marines.
00:52:43I'm a major.
00:52:44You know?
00:52:44Look man.
00:52:45I know Trixie is like a...
00:52:47I don't know.
00:52:48Like a seven.
00:52:49Now that she's all cleaned up.
00:52:50But don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:53:00A real man never talks about a woman no way.
00:53:04You're a coward.
00:53:14We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them.
00:53:18You're very gracious Trixie.
00:53:20You know that?
00:53:23You're only getting off with it because she's so kind.
00:53:25So you're going to do me the favor of never coming near her again.
00:53:28You understand?
00:53:28You want to fuck with me you little dipshit?
00:53:30I'm a fucking major.
00:53:32You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts.
00:53:35I'll...
00:53:35I'll destroy you.
00:53:37Do you really not know who this is Butch?
00:53:39I thought you were in the Marines.
00:53:41What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:45He was just a supply boy.
00:53:49War hero?
00:53:51Is this all part of your plan Trixie?
00:53:54Poor girl.
00:53:55Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:59A woman's worth is tied to the man she marries.
00:54:02Trixie is worthless cause that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:54:08A bum girl and a pimp.
00:54:10What a pair.
00:54:12Seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long.
00:54:16Maybe you should try to piss them off some more. Don't you think?
00:54:20Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:54:29What is all this?
00:54:30Trixie listen, I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life.
00:54:35But I know that we shared a moment.
00:54:40I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear.
00:54:43It's not in my nature.
00:54:46I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:48Listen Trixie, I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:55So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:58So I know that you're the one for me.
00:55:03This guy's either nuts or a really, really good actor.
00:55:08Oscar worthy. Oscar worthy.
00:55:10No.
00:55:11First gift.
00:55:17Trixie, I know that you just lost your home, so I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:55:23Worth $500 million, previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:55:29Second gift.
00:55:32This contains all the rights to my entire fortune, which is now yours.
00:55:38Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:55:41It must be that easy.
00:55:42They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:44They've got nothing left.
00:55:46Why Sander, I really don't care for any of us.
00:55:49No, look, I know. I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:54Okay? Which is exactly why my third gift is, um, well...
00:56:15Cleo! Hey!
00:56:17Oh my God.
00:56:20You found my dog.
00:56:25Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:56:26But with you, it's so much more.
00:56:29Trixie Amore.
00:56:33Will you marry me?
00:56:36You know I can't say no to this doggo.
00:56:42Yes, I will marry you.
00:57:00Go, go, power couple.
00:57:03Okay, stop.
00:57:05The only power couple here is Butch and I.
00:57:09Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is.
00:57:13No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:57:18Hey.
00:57:19I don't care if she's homeless or not.
00:57:21But I'm making this woman my wife.
00:57:23Which means that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on Earth.
00:57:29Understand?
00:57:33You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on Earth.
00:57:38This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:47As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:54Yes, the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market.
00:57:58Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:58:04I bet my life you're all just actors.
00:58:07Then you better enjoy your last breath.
00:58:09Come on Lysander, what are we waiting for?
00:58:11Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie.
00:58:13What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us?
00:58:15The elites.
00:58:15Infect us with your poor people bad luck.
00:58:18She wishes.
00:58:19She could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:58:22Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin bum.
00:58:26She's utterly unmarriable.
00:58:30I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:58:34I'd handle them myself, but...
00:58:38I'll let you do all the heavy lifting.
00:58:40Go ahead Lysander.
00:58:49Yes, hello, this is Lysander.
00:58:50Please bankrupt the Marissa Wickham for me.
00:58:54Oh my gosh, I'm so scared!
00:58:57Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:59:06Uh, hello?
00:59:08Yes!
00:59:11What?!
00:59:16I'm going bankrupt!
00:59:20Hey, hey, hey.
00:59:25Hey, hey, hey.
00:59:27Are you sure that was the call, Sasa?
00:59:29That was a real call?
00:59:30People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:59:32My company's dead.
00:59:34It evaporated.
00:59:35It's in thin air.
00:59:39That's impossible.
00:59:41Who are you?
00:59:42What did you do?
00:59:43Secretary Cho, you said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:47And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:51Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:55Then that means...
00:59:58You're really Lysander Armstrong, the richest and most powerful man in the country.
01:00:04Trixie's marrying the famed war hero, the man every girl wants and every man wants to be.
01:00:12Now you believe me?
01:00:13Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
01:00:17There's gotta be some trick to this.
01:00:19You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us.
01:00:22Sasa.
01:00:23Sasa.
01:00:30I know why you're all over Trixie because you've been in the military for so long you don't know what
01:00:35a real woman can do for you.
01:00:37Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:43Do you have your hands for me or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:51I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:57Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:01:01Sasa was just trying to save the company.
01:01:04I don't blame her at all.
01:01:05Your double standards are incredible.
01:01:07Okay, you don't want me.
01:01:09Fine.
01:01:10But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:01:12I can give you a room full of pageant winners.
01:01:1418 years old.
01:01:16Fresh for the taking.
01:01:24I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie.
01:01:27Thank you, Devon.
01:01:29Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancé,
01:01:36but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:40You're an insult to all good women out there.
01:01:42No, to all of humanity.
01:01:44So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:51Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:55They're impostors.
01:02:00I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled because it
01:02:05was assigned by the goddess healer herself.
01:02:07So, we won't go bankrupt?
01:02:09The goddess healer?
01:02:10You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical products?
01:02:16Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:02:21The goddess healer's motto is the right rewrites the wrong, the left leave the wrong, the rest.
01:02:28That means she's rewarding me.
01:02:30The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:02:33In fact, she's on her way now.
01:02:37So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:43Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:45If the president and the goddess healer approves of my products, who cares about this washed up war hero?
01:02:50We can break his legs, break his arms, no one would even bat an eye.
01:02:54She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:58FBI!
01:02:59FBI!
01:03:01You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:03:06Gotcha.
01:03:10Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:03:13No, don't arrest her.
01:03:15Trixie's a good person.
01:03:17Please officer, don't arrest her.
01:03:19Grandma.
01:03:20Mr. Rogers. Mrs. Williams.
01:03:22What are you all doing here?
01:03:23The neighbors heard about the break up between you and Butch.
01:03:26We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:03:30Listen, officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:03:34She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:03:37Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition,
01:03:41Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out.
01:03:44She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:47My fiance really is an incredible woman.
01:03:50She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:57You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:04:01My brother is not a criminal.
01:04:03He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:04:07Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:04:10And that's why his choice to crime is stealing his identity.
01:04:14General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist.
01:04:18And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:04:23I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:04:27I promise I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:04:33If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:04:36But don't fuck with my fiance.
01:04:38You don't get to decide, punk.
01:04:39Let's go!
01:05:02Get him!
01:05:03If you can.
01:05:06Oh!
01:05:07Huh?
01:05:13Oh!
01:05:14Yeah!
01:05:16Ah!
01:05:19Ah!
01:05:21Ah!
01:05:21Ah!
01:05:24Uh!
01:05:31Ah!
01:05:31Ah!
01:05:33Ah!
01:05:34Oh, my God.
01:05:42Yes!
01:05:55Is that enough pain?
01:05:57Or do you want more?
01:06:06Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
01:06:10Drama.
01:06:12Meet my new fiancé.
01:06:16Wow, your new fiancé?
01:06:18He's so manly.
01:06:20Much better than your last one.
01:06:22I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:06:25It's Butch's loss.
01:06:26Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:06:30She's like a shining star in the sky,
01:06:32and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:35Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:06:37I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, fam?
01:06:40Drown out the poor!
01:06:41Drown out the poor!
01:06:43Drown out the poor!
01:06:44Drown out the poor!
01:06:46Drown out the poor!
01:06:47Drown out the poor!
01:06:48Drown out the poor!
01:06:48See, Trixie?
01:06:49You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:52You can't compete against me,
01:06:53even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:55We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:58So you're using defenseless lives as your shield
01:07:01because you know we won't hurt them.
01:07:03Let them eat, Kate!
01:07:14You can't shoot all of them.
01:07:15Grab what you can, fam.
01:07:17Attack!
01:07:34You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:43What the fuck was that?
01:07:44I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:07:45I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:07:56Dammit!
01:07:57Dammit!
01:07:57Dammit!
01:07:59You forgot I had a gun, too.
01:08:02That'll teach you from messing with the wig hams.
01:08:04Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:08:06We're quartered.
01:08:07I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:08:10Devon, you and your brother are both good men.
01:08:13I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:08:15They will be punished.
01:08:19Now hold still for me.
01:08:23Right.
01:08:24Ray rides the road.
01:08:36Holy fuck!
01:08:37Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:39By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:40Is she the goddess healer?
01:08:45I'm all better now.
01:08:47Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:49See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:52No.
01:08:53Please.
01:08:53I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:55Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:57Sure.
01:08:59You hear that?
01:09:00She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:09:03She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:09:05While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:09:10Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:09:15I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:09:17And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:09:20God?
01:09:21Wrong.
01:09:23But you're close.
01:09:25Bullshit.
01:09:25I'm gonna show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:09:30You wanna cross the line so bad?
01:09:32Then let's see you try.
01:09:34Charge!
01:09:43The hell is this?
01:09:45This is the line between life and death.
01:09:49Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:52I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:57You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:59What if it's a trap?
01:10:00That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:10:02We ain't afraid of her.
01:10:03She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:10:06Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:10:09I will.
01:10:13Left leaves the wrong breast.
01:10:22I'm fine.
01:10:23Nothing happened.
01:10:24You'll see soon enough.
01:10:26Oh, please.
01:10:27I really wanna die.
01:10:29And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:31I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:34Whoops.
01:10:34Just crossed it again.
01:10:36Whoops.
01:10:37And again.
01:10:38Nothing's happening.
01:10:40Stop.
01:10:41Stop.
01:10:43Stop.
01:10:46Stop.
01:10:50No.
01:10:50No, Papa!
01:10:52Hey.
01:10:53What did you do to my brother?
01:10:55I didn't do anything.
01:10:56Your brother just didn't wanna heed my warning.
01:10:59I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:11:01If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:11:05Come on, major.
01:11:07Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:11:09How is he able to cross the line?
01:11:11See, this must be an illusion!
01:11:15only the pure of heart can cross the line will somebody take my brother to the hospital please
01:11:27you're so sore i wouldn't marry you you'd go and hurt my brother oh please you hurt us first
01:11:33at first i was really hurt by your betrayal but i've come to realize your true colors are that
01:11:40of a snake and a coward marissa thanks for taking this low life from me you blame yourself for being
01:11:48worthless you think anyone will want to marry you when you got nothing to offer when you wear
01:11:55odd and crazy clothes all day don't touch my wife and instead trixie gets a handsome and protective
01:12:08husband you can daydream all you want now trixie but when the presidential contract arrives
01:12:13it'll hit you like a fucking truck that you're nothing but an ugly phony and i'm the queen of
01:12:17everything oh really then let me show you how it is i who has everything you want you've got nothing
01:12:23on
01:12:27me yes tell the president to get here immediately
01:12:35goddess madam president i require your assistance yes we'll be there immediately
01:12:44get the vp we're leaving now
01:12:49did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the united states god i knew you
01:12:54were cheap but i didn't know you were crazy too i'm so glad i dumped you for marissa you're pathetic
01:13:00trixie a secretary to remind everyone how i have the presidential contract coming miss wickham is
01:13:05correct i was on the phone with the president earlier only the most important people have
01:13:10madame president's direct line you hear that everyone there is no way lowlife trixie could have
01:13:17called the president by herself she's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention
01:13:23so she's come here to play up her importance no my granddaughter would never do that reversing time
01:13:29just to heal someone's wound only the goddess healer can do that is trixie really the goddess healer
01:13:42oh first your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero general lysander armstrong
01:13:47and now you trixie are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract
01:13:52is this how the working class think all the time i never realized how delusional they were
01:13:59you can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces
01:14:05look i don't know what circus school you went to but you trying to make me jealous trixie
01:14:09it ain't working you can't just fake the
01:14:14yeah but goddess healing power is legendary it's like real magic trixie you're an angel but the
01:14:22goddess healing is beyond your imagination and if we steal her identity just to punish her ex
01:14:28won't her followers be furious and riot against you no trixie look i believe you you saved me
01:14:38whether you're a goddess or not you did that no matter what happens you are a goddess to me
01:14:44will riot against you you know tear her apart tear her apart
01:14:50tear her apart tear her apart
01:14:53tear her apart
01:14:54the vice president arrives
01:15:11who dare cause ruckus in here
01:15:17your general lysander armstrong wait what he's actually general lysander armstrong no no we've
01:15:25been through this already once okay right secretary chill this actor tricksy hired pulled this weird
01:15:32stunt to try to bankrupt me but you already confirmed with madame president that i got the
01:15:37contract coming still right yes we all thought he was a fraud what i mean is you're the war hero
01:15:45general lysander armstrong and how dare you crash miss wickham's wedding the moment you wake up you
01:15:52fall under this vixen spell and now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president
01:15:58he is the general oh but he's in trouble now did you hear that even the vice president knows me
01:16:06as an important ally to the nation's leader so what if tricksy picked up some washed up war hero
01:16:11we got the vp and the president on our side you'll always be nothing tricksy i told you
01:16:19now punish them vice president langley this is treason lysander armstrong you are stripped from
01:16:25your military honors and titles hurry the goddess healer needs us you can't do that mr vice president
01:16:38my brother is a war hero he single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack he was in a coma
01:16:43for two years if it wasn't for miss tricksy he would enough you speak another word and i will
01:16:48bring down your entire family not just your brother yeah it's okay mr vice president i've already given
01:16:57my life once for my country i have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life
01:17:03and let's be honest about one other thing mr vice president i never gave a fuck about any damn
01:17:09titles i truly saved a good man
01:17:18i will not let you bring ruin to my fiance and what can you do about it oh mr vice
01:17:24president i have swell
01:17:25idea my biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military let's try it out on
01:17:32them hold on mr vice president there's no way that you're taking this seriously put innocent civilian
01:17:38lives in danger despicable what's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are
01:17:44disrespecting power miss wickham you can use full force on them did you hear that boys
01:17:54oh
01:18:04shoot wait that's the president
01:18:18oh
01:18:20oh
01:18:27oh my gosh i'm so sorry madam president that was they were totally aiming for uh tricksy the the fraud
01:18:34in the middle
01:18:35what is this oh that's my new biomedical weapon madam for your military
01:18:40this is a war crime these are innocent civilian lives you're messing with you're the uncivilized buffoon
01:18:46i can shoot whoever i want i have the presidential contract with great power comes great responsibility
01:18:51and this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract i gave you
01:18:56what are you doing reverse the poison and take it out of the president before it's too late
01:19:00that is easy there's no need i'll save everyone
01:19:18it's raining gold
01:19:21what's happening tricksy doesn't have that kind of money it's got to be cheap glitter
01:19:28she she is she is a criminal
01:19:32don't worry madam president we will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison
01:19:36i'd be quiet if i were you because you're the one that will be going to prison once everyone is
01:19:40healed up
01:19:40what are you talking about the president literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract
01:19:54this contract yeah yes thank you first gentlemen
01:20:17my contract you bitch and that's not all
01:20:32this foul weapon will not see the light of day
01:20:35there is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus
01:20:38don't you realize or are you too much of a goody two shoes to understand that
01:20:43you're the real virus here marissa
01:20:45money is worth more to you than human lives
01:20:49and that's something i cannot tolerate
01:20:51so prepare yourself because i'm about to smite you
01:20:56what are you gonna do
01:20:57the president is here and i just invented the best biomedical products in the world
01:21:03you'll pardon me for that little mishap right
01:21:07madam president you've recovered now
01:21:10so what's your final decision
01:21:14i'll
01:21:14she's gonna give me my billion dollar
01:21:21i'll smack her until she sees 50 stars
01:21:28why are you attacking me madam president
01:21:31you're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar
01:21:33you wish you idiot
01:21:38i've never seen a woman so vile
01:21:40so ugly on the inside it makes me want to vomit
01:21:43i i don't understand i was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing
01:21:50and do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth
01:21:55you've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh
01:22:00the one and only
01:22:02and it's
01:22:06her
01:22:21welcome goddess
01:22:28uh we uh
01:22:35you really are the goddess of healing aren't you
01:22:36how else did you think i saved you
01:22:40then why did you keep it a secret for so long
01:22:44i wanted to walk the earth as a normal person
01:22:47to help those in need
01:22:49and make sure the man i chose loved me for me
01:22:53no so that means
01:22:54the billion dollar contract
01:22:56it was you who gave it to me
01:22:58and she took it away just like that
01:23:01that was her golden ticket
01:23:03you were once my fiance and best friend
01:23:05but after everything you've done
01:23:07we're officially getting ties with you both
01:23:10no please i swear
01:23:11i didn't know you were an ex
01:23:13it doesn't matter who she is
01:23:18trixie has a heart of gold
01:23:19she's an amazing person
01:23:21and you ruin that the moment that you betrayed her
01:23:25she's gonna be my wife
01:23:27because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman
01:23:29on this planet
01:23:35i love you
01:23:48all her goals
01:23:50all her clothes
01:23:52all that could have been mine
01:23:53this is all your fault
01:23:56you seduced me
01:23:59you were the one that came onto me
01:24:01you himbo
01:24:02please
01:24:03trixie
01:24:03give me another chance
01:24:06i want to be rich again
01:24:08i'll be your slave
01:24:09kiss the ground you walk on
01:24:12you've had your chance to apologize
01:24:13but it's too late now
01:24:15all i see is your greed
01:24:17and how much you'd hurt others
01:24:19just to benefit yourself
01:24:20you two should be locked up
01:24:22and she shall
01:24:23for creating illegal weapons of mass destruction
01:24:26arrest marissa and butch wickham
01:24:29it's all your fault marissa
01:24:31i never loved you
01:24:33it's your fault
01:24:34i was only with you for your money
01:24:36i don't care
01:24:36you were rich
01:24:38i'll see yourself now
01:24:40rest assured goddess
01:24:42we will not be using these biomedical weapons
01:24:45my platform is spreading kindness
01:24:47just like you
01:24:49i knew you'd uphold our shared values
01:24:51that is why i saved you
01:24:53with these healing hands
01:24:55i will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time
01:24:59well
01:25:01let's not let this wedding go to waste
01:25:05let's party
01:25:06wait
01:25:07what if we just got married
01:25:09right now
01:25:10yes
01:25:11well
01:25:15do you take each other
01:25:17to be your lawfully wedded partner
01:25:19i do
01:25:20i do
01:25:21you may kiss the bride
01:25:32the queen
01:25:33i shallata
01:25:46i'll see you next time
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