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Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:04Please save my child.
00:00:22Rod of a sepulius.
00:00:41Rejuvenate.
00:00:50Graze, she is the healer goddess.
00:00:54No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:57I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:03Here you go, miss.
00:01:08Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:12in need?
00:01:25You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:30run!
00:01:33Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:43Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:48Rejuvenate.
00:01:52See? Good as the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb.
00:01:58Come on, Cleo. Let's go!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:15Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years. We have no idea what the illness is. If
00:02:22anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:24The Elizander Armstrong! His military family basically owns the entire global stock market!
00:02:30He's so hot! Does he come with the money?
00:02:34Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him. Money. Fame. Power. It's all yours.
00:02:44Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:47Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:50Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:54Grandma!
00:02:55I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:02:58Grandma?
00:03:00Grandma.
00:03:01When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:05I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:07And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:14Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:21We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:25Oh, no!
00:03:34Please go feed your dog, miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:38Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:42Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:45The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:49What? Oh, geez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:54Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:57I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:00Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:04:05I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:10Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:12Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:17Hold still.
00:04:25My migraine's gone. Okay, then let's go. If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you. Come on. Come
00:04:31on.
00:04:31Oh!
00:04:45How is he? What is the diagnosis? Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:51I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:54Aren't you the queen of medicine? You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:57Don't worry, General. I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:03I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:24I have no clue what this is.
00:05:28Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:33That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:36Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:38I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:50He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:52Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:05:59Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:06:05If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:09Who?
00:06:13The goddess of healing.
00:06:18Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess you.
00:06:21That's correct. Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:28That's her motto.
00:06:29It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:34She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:39If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:45bankrupt.
00:06:46I will find her. James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
00:06:52Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:57There's no need.
00:07:12I'll save your son.
00:07:15Who the hell is she?
00:07:16Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:18She's gonna save your brother? Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:21How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:25Exactly.
00:07:26God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:29She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:32Ew! She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:36I bet it has fleas.
00:07:38That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:42Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:49Don't touch him.
00:07:52They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:54But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:57So step aside.
00:07:59I'll take it from here.
00:08:01Could you hold this?
00:08:02Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:03You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:05I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:09I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:12I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:18Who knows what an unskilled whore girl like her would do for some.
00:08:22A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:29Ew!
00:08:30Disgusting.
00:08:30Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:33Security!
00:08:34Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:37Let's go.
00:08:38If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:45Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
00:08:50Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:53You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:56Alright, I'll give you a shot.
00:08:59But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:05Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:08You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:10And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:13But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:18Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:20No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:22My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:24I can't lose him.
00:09:26Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:32My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:36Also, he's great with puppies. He'd make a great husband.
00:09:42Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:44As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:50Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:53I mean, look at her. Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:09:59Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:04Continue wasting your time.
00:10:06But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:17What happened?
00:10:18Oh, okay!
00:10:20What's happening?
00:10:22What are we doing?
00:10:32Oh!
00:10:34What the hell are you doing?
00:10:36I knew she was a perv!
00:10:38She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:41Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:45Are you insane?
00:10:46Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:50He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:10:57Yeah, right!
00:10:58I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him!
00:11:01Oh, okay.
00:11:02I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:05I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:08And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:15This?
00:11:22Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:25What?
00:11:27What?
00:11:27So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, THE rod of a sepulius?
00:11:33Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:38I agree.
00:11:39I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point as of doctors who have studied
00:11:45for years?
00:11:46We are all certified.
00:11:48But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:51She's right about everything.
00:11:55Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:00And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:12:04Endogenic cryomorphie.
00:12:05Oh.
00:12:06And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:08Because I just discovered it.
00:12:10This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:15The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:16A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:19But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:24What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:26I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:30Precisely.
00:12:31You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:34You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:39I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:43Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:46And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:50which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:54Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:56Oh, yeah.
00:12:58If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:02I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:05Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:09What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:10It means you're being schooled by me, and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:16Then let's have a bet.
00:13:18If you can't heal him, you'll break your hands.
00:13:23And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:28Mm-hmm.
00:13:29Mm-hmm.
00:13:30These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:34You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:37Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:41There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:44Don't worry. I got this.
00:13:49It's a deal.
00:13:51I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:53No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:01Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:08Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:12Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:24I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:27I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:30I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:35Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:38Wait, wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:14:40Don't listen to her.
00:14:42She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:47Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:50Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:14:58What? Did you just call me?
00:15:02There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:07Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:10Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:17Oh, yeah?
00:15:18Hey, you wanna see real pain? Where's the dog?
00:15:20Well, put down the dog!
00:15:22With pleasure.
00:15:32Oh!
00:15:38Left leaves the wrong breast.
00:15:44You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:51She's been poisoned!
00:15:53It was her!
00:15:54Do you see any poison on me?
00:15:57Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:03This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:06Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:08Of course!
00:16:10I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:13If I wanna save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:33Why is she skinning blood?
00:16:34This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:36I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way.
00:16:39Angel herbalist.
00:16:40This is what I call...
00:16:43Malpractice.
00:16:45This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:16:47But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:49Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:51Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:52Right this way.
00:16:54Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:55What the hell is going on?
00:16:56You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:01Then stop getting in my way. Every second counts.
00:17:05Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:09Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:17:11General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:16Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:20Hold on, you two are going in there alone?
00:17:24If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:30All right, but I warn you, no funny business.
00:17:34Thanks.
00:17:35Thanks.
00:17:49Thanks.
00:17:55Thanks.
00:18:04I don't know.
00:18:53I don't know.
00:18:57Seriously, you've been listening to that.
00:18:59We have to have faith.
00:19:01Where did you actually find the slow light?
00:19:06On the streets.
00:19:08Are you shitting me?
00:19:10You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:11Are you nuts?
00:19:12You don't know her.
00:19:13You don't know her background.
00:19:15She could be a psychotic murder.
00:19:17That is it, General.
00:19:18You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:19You're right.
00:19:20That's it.
00:19:21I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:23James, let's go.
00:19:24Yes, sir.
00:19:28Oh, my God.
00:19:35I told you all to stay out.
00:19:42This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:44We can't be interrupted.
00:19:46Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:51I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:19:57I'm going to save him myself.
00:19:59No.
00:20:04You see that, General?
00:20:05This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:07This is a witchcraft.
00:20:10I know what this is.
00:20:12This is the dark witch.
00:20:14I've heard of her.
00:20:15She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men, and then she eats them alive.
00:20:21I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:24James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:27Yes, sir.
00:20:31Here we gain consciousness.
00:20:42Help me.
00:20:44I just want to...
00:20:49Something's wrong.
00:20:53You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:55Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:00That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:10Sir?
00:21:11The SWAT team is here.
00:21:13Captain Morales.
00:21:15My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:21I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:24Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:26We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:33Right.
00:21:34He writes the wrong.
00:21:39Human.
00:21:43Who the fuck are you?
00:21:44And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:47Good.
00:21:48You're awake.
00:21:50I'm saving you.
00:21:51Saving me?
00:21:52By baiting with me?
00:21:54Who are you?
00:21:55You're a fucking spy?
00:21:57Talk.
00:21:58I swear to God, we'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:01You're the one who's trying to kiss me and your stripper.
00:22:06I will never.
00:22:07I will never.
00:22:22Look who's guilty now.
00:22:26Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right?
00:22:27But it is a biological fact.
00:22:30A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:35It's science, okay?
00:22:36It just means that my body...
00:22:37Oh, shut up.
00:22:38...is physically...
00:22:41You're distracted with me with your friend.
00:22:43And I'm a professional.
00:22:45I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:47Captain, do something now.
00:22:49Ready!
00:22:55We're almost there.
00:22:57Aim!
00:22:59Get him, boys.
00:23:00Get him!
00:23:03Fire!
00:23:06Fire!
00:23:22Those damascals.
00:23:23How is this possible?
00:23:25It's not even a scratch.
00:23:27I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:29Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:32No.
00:23:32I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:35She's not the dark witch.
00:23:37Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:41This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:44How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:47That's right.
00:23:47The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:52If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:54Except for the Goddess Healer.
00:23:56Think about it.
00:23:57We heard Lysander's voice.
00:23:58He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:00Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:01You're right.
00:24:02This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
00:24:08Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
00:24:11No!
00:24:11No!
00:24:13Absolutely not.
00:24:14There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:17How could you know for sure?
00:24:19Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:22You're wrong, sir!
00:24:23This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:28It's called borderline revival.
00:24:30She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:34But only temporarily.
00:24:35It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:40That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:42I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing witch.
00:24:48My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:50He is dying right now, naked, in a jacuzzi, with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:55Then it looks like it's up to me, the witch doctor.
00:24:58Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:03My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:05You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:09I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:15from me.
00:25:17This is it.
00:25:19The finishing touch.
00:25:21I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:23So we can both survive.
00:25:43It's poison gas.
00:25:46But poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:51Poison gas?
00:25:52My son is in there.
00:25:54You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:25:56No, don't worry, General.
00:25:57Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:01Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
00:26:04Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:06And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:09They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:14I knew they promised you that I'd save you.
00:26:17It's never and ever.
00:26:20It's never and ever.
00:26:30What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:33It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:34Wait a second.
00:26:36You don't think that they're...
00:26:38You!
00:26:39You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:41Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:43If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:26:46Oh my God.
00:26:47Yeah?
00:26:48She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:50I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:54Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:26:58This is taking way too long.
00:27:00Captain Morales, it's time to get out.
00:27:03The big guns.
00:27:05These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:08Bazooka.
00:27:09She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:12Crap.
00:27:13Oh my God.
00:27:13Get back, sucker.
00:27:15Ready.
00:27:17Aim!
00:27:18Oh, shit.
00:27:23Quit your whining and stand down.
00:27:37The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:39Shoot her dead now.
00:27:40Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:42I said stand down.
00:27:45Don't listen to her.
00:27:47She's a fraud.
00:27:48A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:50I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:53If I'm a termite, then...
00:27:55You're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:27:58Wait a second.
00:27:59Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:02He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:03You can see for yourself.
00:28:05Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:08That is it.
00:28:09No more stalling, General.
00:28:10If you won't punish her, I will.
00:28:16Don't hurt her.
00:28:22He's a cure.
00:28:29His pulse is regular.
00:28:30In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:35There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:46Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:48Lysander's warm again.
00:28:49He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:52And his heart is strong.
00:28:53Come, feel it.
00:28:56I saved my son.
00:28:59Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:02Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:07I've learned my lesson.
00:29:08I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:13Wait, wait.
00:29:14No, no.
00:29:15There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen,
00:29:20Angel, and I.
00:29:28Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:31But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look a
00:29:37day after 20.
00:29:38It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:40What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:43Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:47Take care.
00:29:48No, wait.
00:29:50Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:52He's right.
00:29:54We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife
00:29:58if you cured him, and you did just that.
00:30:01Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:05I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
00:30:09I...
00:30:10I'm already engaged.
00:30:14Already engaged?
00:30:15I am.
00:30:16I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years, and he's coming back today.
00:30:22But don't be disappointed.
00:30:24Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:26I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:29Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:32But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:34Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:36Take the gold.
00:30:37No, really.
00:30:39I don't need anything.
00:30:41I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:46Trixie, it's your fiance.
00:30:48He's back, and he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:53I must go.
00:31:01Hobo close.
00:31:03Halo glow.
00:31:04I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:07It was just dumb luck.
00:31:09She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:12She could have been the richest woman in the world.
00:31:14Marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:21I'm gonna marry that homeless woman.
00:31:27Oh, my God.
00:31:28I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:31:34No, no, no, no, Lysander.
00:31:37Lysander, our job is supposed to be mine.
00:31:40I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:45You two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:48Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:52Wait.
00:31:52No.
00:31:53We're not brought.
00:31:54No, she's just better than us.
00:31:57Oh, my God.
00:32:01We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:04She's no average Jane.
00:32:05No, she isn't.
00:32:06She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:08But if she truly had these special skills,
00:32:11why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:15But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:16No normal person could have done that.
00:32:18Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:22I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:23I have to find her.
00:32:24I have to make her my wife.
00:32:26She won my heart over, too.
00:32:27But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:31All right, listen.
00:32:33I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:40I'm dumping Trixie.
00:32:41So I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house now.
00:32:48Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:50She waited for you for three years.
00:32:53She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:32:55And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:32:57One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:00So get lost.
00:33:02Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:11Grandma.
00:33:12Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:16I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:18I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:22In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:25So sign over to the house now.
00:33:32You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:35And I did.
00:33:36For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:39Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:42And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:45Do you have no shame?
00:33:46We were together for three years.
00:33:48And it was a complete waste of my life
00:33:50when I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:33:58That's how much you would owe me
00:33:59if I was in the rent-to-boyfriend business.
00:34:03I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations
00:34:06of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:12Oh, yeah?
00:34:13Well, Marissa
00:34:16is so much better than you.
00:34:18She grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:21And now
00:34:21she's the CEO
00:34:23of an entire
00:34:25corporation.
00:34:26Dude!
00:34:28And you?
00:34:30You're still nothing.
00:34:32So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:34Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:36Look what she got me for my engagement.
00:34:40Oops.
00:34:41Yeah.
00:34:43That's maybe worth one millionth
00:34:44the presidential contract
00:34:45I gave her.
00:34:52You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:54I certainly did.
00:34:55In fact,
00:34:57Marissa,
00:34:58you and your dimwit brother
00:35:00only have everything you have
00:35:02all thanks to me.
00:35:07Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:09That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:12You two
00:35:13are the ungrateful,
00:35:15cheating scum here.
00:35:16My granddaughter
00:35:18supported you
00:35:19and your entire family
00:35:20for three years
00:35:21while you were gone.
00:35:23How dare you insult her?
00:35:25It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:27Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:30Poor Edna.
00:35:31She still doesn't know
00:35:31what you're doing
00:35:32out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:33What is he talking about,
00:35:35Jersey?
00:35:36Show her, Bob.
00:35:41This is how embarrassingly useless
00:35:44your granddaughter is.
00:35:45She didn't purchase this house
00:35:46on her own.
00:35:47She was begging on the street
00:35:48for money.
00:35:51I can't be caught
00:35:52with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:54Even if you got no game,
00:35:55I got street credit
00:35:56I got out of keep.
00:35:57You dig?
00:35:58The word you're looking for
00:35:59is dignity.
00:36:01And you're one to speak,
00:36:02cheater.
00:36:05Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:09I've been broadening
00:36:10my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:12I want to see how regular,
00:36:13everyday people live
00:36:15so that I can help them.
00:36:17Of course,
00:36:18those without substance
00:36:19underneath would never
00:36:20understand that.
00:36:21What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:23It means
00:36:24the new girlfriend
00:36:24you think is an upgrade
00:36:26is actually a downgrade.
00:36:32Enough bullshitting already.
00:36:33Just sign the damn papers
00:36:34and we can each
00:36:34get on with our lives.
00:36:48At your wedding, I will.
00:36:50What?
00:36:52If you won't do good
00:36:53by me of breaking things off
00:36:54before two-timing me
00:36:55with my best friend,
00:36:57why should I do good by you?
00:36:59I'll give you my John Hancock
00:37:01at your wedding
00:37:01as a charity to you.
00:37:04Fucking bitch!
00:37:06You better keep your word.
00:37:07Oh, that's rich.
00:37:10After tomorrow,
00:37:10you will never feel
00:37:11so rich ever again.
00:37:12Do remember that.
00:37:20Trixie,
00:37:21Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:23They'll destroy you
00:37:25if you show even so much
00:37:26as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:28Grandma,
00:37:29I have to confess
00:37:30something to you.
00:37:31I've secretly amassed
00:37:33a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:34Trillions?
00:37:37That would make you
00:37:39the richest person
00:37:40on the planet.
00:37:42It's because of the healing hands
00:37:43I inherited from Asseplius,
00:37:45the god of healing.
00:37:47I've saved several world leaders
00:37:49with these hands.
00:37:50That's how I was able
00:37:51to give Marissa
00:37:52the presidential contract
00:37:53and become the goddess healer.
00:37:56It makes me angrier
00:37:57hearing her name
00:37:58knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:00But please,
00:38:01Trixie dear,
00:38:02I know it was to
00:38:03broken your heart,
00:38:04but
00:38:06embellishing your worth
00:38:07and who you are,
00:38:08it will only delay
00:38:10the healing process.
00:38:11You don't have to
00:38:12believe me just yet.
00:38:14After we lost
00:38:15Mom and Dad
00:38:15because we didn't have
00:38:16the money
00:38:16for their medical bills,
00:38:19I vowed
00:38:20that I would do
00:38:20everything I can
00:38:21to serve those in need.
00:38:23That's why I'm
00:38:24taking everything
00:38:25back from Butch
00:38:25and I'm giving it
00:38:26back to Charity.
00:38:27You've always had
00:38:28an angel's heart.
00:38:30I'm certain
00:38:30you will meet someone
00:38:31who will treat you right,
00:38:33who actually deserves you.
00:38:35You will see
00:38:36tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:45You said Trixie's
00:38:46crashing your wedding?
00:38:47She was bullying us
00:38:48too, Sasa.
00:38:50She's probably
00:38:51trying to extort you
00:38:52now that she knows
00:38:52you're rich as fuck.
00:38:54When nobody steps
00:38:55on Snake,
00:38:57Snake bites back hard.
00:38:59So let her come
00:39:00and embarrass herself.
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:02You mean
00:39:04we broadcast
00:39:06that video of me?
00:39:10Yes.
00:39:11Her cavewoman
00:39:11staked the 19th century
00:39:13tin can.
00:39:14She'll prop me up
00:39:15higher on my pedestal
00:39:16and the whole world
00:39:16sees her in her
00:39:17homeless mess
00:39:18against my
00:39:19presidential glow-up.
00:39:20Let's turn this party
00:39:21into her funeral.
00:39:29There he is.
00:39:32Welcome home, brother.
00:39:34Welcome home,
00:39:35General!
00:39:38Sir,
00:39:39the homeless woman
00:39:40who saved you,
00:39:40Miss Trixie,
00:39:41this is the file
00:39:42of her ex,
00:39:42Butch Tanner.
00:39:43He served with
00:39:44her regiment
00:39:44in the Marines.
00:39:45You mean the Butch Tanner
00:39:46that could barely
00:39:47carry supplies?
00:39:48Well, she's been
00:39:48providing for him
00:39:49and his entire family
00:39:50while he's been
00:39:51deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:52So she waited for him
00:39:53for years
00:39:54and then he betrayed her.
00:39:55Fucking coward.
00:39:56According to intel,
00:39:57she's planning to bring
00:39:58it down on them
00:39:58at their wedding.
00:39:59Then we should join her.
00:40:01Men,
00:40:02I'm only alive today
00:40:03because of that
00:40:04virtuous woman
00:40:05and her incredible
00:40:06power that saved
00:40:07my life.
00:40:07So she needs
00:40:08our support.
00:40:09Will you join me
00:40:09in protecting her?
00:40:10Yes, sir!
00:40:11We will allow
00:40:12our lives to protect her,
00:40:13sir!
00:40:14Well, let's roll.
00:40:30Welcome everyone
00:40:31to my wedding.
00:40:33Today is a very special
00:40:34day for me and Butch.
00:40:35Not only are we
00:40:35getting married,
00:40:36but in just one hour
00:40:37my company will be
00:40:38receiving the
00:40:39presidential contract
00:40:40allowing my biomedical
00:40:41company to go public.
00:40:46congratulations on the
00:40:48contract once again
00:40:49Mrs.
00:40:49Wakeham.
00:40:50Stowe,
00:40:51butch is taking
00:40:51my last name.
00:40:52Oh, and please
00:40:53don't be so uptight,
00:40:54Secretary Cho.
00:40:56You are the secretary
00:40:57of the entire
00:40:57U.S. Health Department,
00:40:59but this is a partay
00:41:00after all.
00:41:01I see some of the
00:41:02most important people
00:41:03in the nation
00:41:04have also arrived
00:41:05to celebrate you.
00:41:07The U.S.
00:41:08president will also
00:41:09be arriving soon
00:41:11to give you
00:41:11the contract herself.
00:41:13It's an honor.
00:41:14That's why Sasa
00:41:15is the best wife
00:41:16a man could ever
00:41:17dream of.
00:41:19We will make sure
00:41:20the crowd is
00:41:21entertained tonight.
00:41:22We'll let the
00:41:23wedding begin.
00:41:26Not so fast.
00:41:27The party doesn't
00:41:28start until I
00:41:29say it does.
00:41:51You two really are
00:41:53a match made in hell.
00:41:54So I've come to
00:41:55save your guests
00:41:56from this oncoming
00:41:57train wreck.
00:41:57I don't recognize
00:41:59it from any of
00:41:59our elite circles.
00:42:00Who is she?
00:42:01Um, this is our
00:42:02entertainment for
00:42:04tonight, sir.
00:42:05Just watch.
00:42:08Trixie, what are
00:42:09you doing here?
00:42:10This isn't the
00:42:10homeless shelter.
00:42:11You lost.
00:42:12I bet she's here
00:42:13to bum a meal off us.
00:42:14You know, being
00:42:15this poor.
00:42:17Me, bum a meal.
00:42:19Have you forgotten
00:42:20that it was I who
00:42:21bankrolled you two
00:42:22for the last three years?
00:42:23What evidence do
00:42:24you have of that?
00:42:25Look at me, then go
00:42:26look at yourself in
00:42:27the mirror.
00:42:28I'm a millionaire
00:42:29CEO.
00:42:30Even the first woman
00:42:31president will be here
00:42:32any second now to
00:42:33congratulate me.
00:42:34And you're nothing
00:42:35but a washed up
00:42:36sewer rat.
00:42:37Sasa, she's like
00:42:39so obsessed with me.
00:42:40She's like...
00:42:41See, everyone?
00:42:43Butch already cut
00:42:44ties with his ex,
00:42:45but she's so shameless
00:42:46and desperate that
00:42:48she'd still show up
00:42:49to my wedding
00:42:50to suck up to me.
00:42:51This is what poor
00:42:52sad girls do.
00:42:53They beg for scraps
00:42:55from us,
00:42:57the rich and glorious.
00:42:58Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:00You might feel
00:43:01all high and mighty now,
00:43:02but don't bite the hand
00:43:03that feeds you.
00:43:04Especially when I'm the one
00:43:05who's giving you the contract.
00:43:12You giving me
00:43:13the contract?
00:43:14You have no skills,
00:43:16no education,
00:43:17no connection,
00:43:18so how could you
00:43:19possibly have a pool
00:43:20to get the U.S.
00:43:21fucking president
00:43:22to give me
00:43:23a billion dollar contract?
00:43:25We both share
00:43:26humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:27And I saw potential in you.
00:43:29Even trusted you
00:43:30as my best friend.
00:43:31But I recognize now
00:43:33that greed
00:43:33has poisoned you.
00:43:35Don't be all sore now
00:43:36just because I stole your man.
00:43:38This is what
00:43:39us rich girls do.
00:43:40They steal from
00:43:42lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:43Damn right.
00:43:45You were
00:43:45too embarrassing
00:43:47for me.
00:43:48Sasa tramples you
00:43:49any day.
00:43:50I can say that now
00:43:51that I'm marrying
00:43:51the rich.
00:43:53Bravo.
00:43:54Self-admission
00:43:55of a gold digger.
00:43:56Quick,
00:43:56somebody put that
00:43:57on a memoir.
00:43:58Sasa,
00:43:58she's embarrassing me
00:43:59in front of everyone.
00:44:00She'll make her sup.
00:44:01Don't listen to her,
00:44:02everyone.
00:44:02She's the gold-digging,
00:44:04blood-sucking leech.
00:44:05I don't even have
00:44:06to lift a finger
00:44:07and you're already
00:44:07embarrassing yourself
00:44:08in front of everyone
00:44:09for me, butch.
00:44:12You may look
00:44:12and sound like a man,
00:44:14but you're nothing
00:44:15but a pathetic coward.
00:44:16Okay, enough.
00:44:16You know what
00:44:17I always couldn't
00:44:18stand about you?
00:44:19Your moral posturing.
00:44:21But guess what?
00:44:23Morals are just lies
00:44:24to make you and girls
00:44:25feel better about yourselves.
00:44:26That's why no man
00:44:27will choose you
00:44:28over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:30Because I've got
00:44:30the material goods
00:44:31and you're just
00:44:33all empty talk.
00:44:34I'm not here
00:44:34to request to be chosen
00:44:35because I'm the one
00:44:37who's doing the choosing.
00:44:40See this?
00:44:41See this?
00:44:52Oh my god.
00:44:54Is that the billion dollar
00:44:55contract for Sasha?
00:44:58The one that's supposed
00:44:59to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:01No, absolutely not.
00:45:03I don't believe it.
00:45:04You all sound so scared already.
00:45:06Don't worry.
00:45:07This isn't that contract.
00:45:10It's the lease
00:45:10to the modest home
00:45:11you try to swindle from me.
00:45:15I don't see everyone.
00:45:17She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:18But you don't even
00:45:19have the guts
00:45:19to go all the way.
00:45:20Look at her following orders.
00:45:22I asked her to sign
00:45:23over the lease
00:45:23and here she is.
00:45:24Like a good little
00:45:26peasant slave.
00:45:27That house is worth
00:45:28all her life savings.
00:45:33You want to, I don't know,
00:45:35beg for a little treat
00:45:36while you're at it?
00:45:47You misunderstand me.
00:45:49I'm here to take back
00:45:49everything I've ever given you.
00:45:51I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:00Bro, she's gone cuckoo
00:46:02in the head.
00:46:02She thinks that just
00:46:03because she rented
00:46:04a pretty little dress
00:46:05she can pretend to be
00:46:05a deep pocket
00:46:06and invest in baddie.
00:46:07You wish you had
00:46:08that kind of money
00:46:09to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:10It's just a drop
00:46:11in the bucket for me.
00:46:13I know what this is.
00:46:15You've gotten delusional
00:46:16and you think
00:46:17you're Cinderella
00:46:18so you can just show up
00:46:19to a fancy party
00:46:19and some Prince Charming
00:46:21will scoop you
00:46:21into money forever?
00:46:23Well, that's not happening.
00:46:24Security!
00:46:25Lock the doors.
00:46:26This woman doesn't leave
00:46:27until we're through with her.
00:46:32This is where
00:46:32your dreams will die, bitch.
00:46:37We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:39She's being cornered
00:46:40by her ex and his mistress
00:46:41at the Wickham wedding
00:46:41right now.
00:46:42Butch Tanner.
00:46:43Well, he's gonna wish
00:46:44he died in battle
00:46:44after I'm done with him.
00:46:46Let's go.
00:46:50You think a few toy guns
00:46:52scare me, Marissa?
00:46:53I've saved plenty of people
00:46:54for much worse.
00:46:56Including your head
00:46:57of command, Butch.
00:46:59General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:01You mean the legendary
00:47:03war hero?
00:47:04He's been in a coma
00:47:05for years after he saved
00:47:06the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:08You're an unskilled,
00:47:10unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:12So how could you possibly
00:47:13have this magical ability
00:47:14to heal someone
00:47:16like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:17No one here's gonna believe you.
00:47:19Have you really cured
00:47:20the incurable General?
00:47:21Then Sasa is the fucking
00:47:23Virgin Mary.
00:47:24And she's not.
00:47:25You're just asking
00:47:26to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:28Show them, Butch.
00:47:35See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:37Trixie's just a
00:47:38freeloading beggar.
00:47:42She won't leave me and Marissa alone
00:47:44because we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:47I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:49Sasa, she has
00:47:50a billion dollar
00:47:52biomedical contract
00:47:53with the military.
00:47:55Approved by the first
00:47:56female president
00:47:57of the United States
00:47:58herself, bitch.
00:47:59How despicable.
00:48:01She's just trying
00:48:02to leech off you
00:48:03like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:05Get out of here.
00:48:05No one wants to marry you.
00:48:07No free meals
00:48:07for the poor.
00:48:09Do you see this,
00:48:10Trixie?
00:48:11This is high society.
00:48:13So you're either born
00:48:14on a silver spoon
00:48:15or you're as accomplished
00:48:16as me to be here.
00:48:17Maybe if you do
00:48:18some serious dick sucking
00:48:20here, maybe someone
00:48:22will drop a couple bucks
00:48:23in your tin can.
00:48:26I already have everything
00:48:27one can dream of.
00:48:29But I valued our friendship, Marissa.
00:48:31Which is why I came here
00:48:32to give you a second chance.
00:48:33To see if you'd apologize
00:48:34and admit to your backstabbing.
00:48:36But no.
00:48:37You stooped so low.
00:48:39It disgusts me.
00:48:41Nothing is more disgusting
00:48:42than you standing
00:48:43on street corners
00:48:44like a bum.
00:48:45And who knows
00:48:46if you've already started
00:48:48offering sexual services.
00:48:51Well then,
00:48:52why don't you get on your knees
00:48:53for me, Trixie?
00:48:54My brother
00:48:55will never take you back.
00:48:57No man will marry
00:48:58an embarrassment
00:48:59like you.
00:49:00But make me happy?
00:49:02And I might consider
00:49:03making you my
00:49:04personal prostitute.
00:49:16how dare you
00:49:17hit my brother.
00:49:18I'm never letting you
00:49:19leave here alive.
00:49:20I saw that.
00:49:22I threw something.
00:49:23Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:24After I'm done with you,
00:49:26Trixie, not even
00:49:26the goddess of healing
00:49:28will be able to save you.
00:49:30Oh, is that so?
00:49:33Security!
00:49:35Security!
00:49:35Get down on your knees
00:49:36and give Bob
00:49:37one hell of a blowjob
00:49:39in front of everybody here
00:49:40or I'll pop
00:49:41so many holes in you
00:49:43the men here
00:49:43won't know
00:49:44which one to fuck.
00:49:45I don't need to be
00:49:45the goddess of anything
00:49:46to punish you.
00:49:48Any of the powerful leaders
00:49:49I've saved before
00:49:50could crush you
00:49:51before you even touch me.
00:49:53Dream on!
00:49:54You wish
00:49:55General Licender
00:49:56scooped you off your feet
00:49:57but you weren't good enough
00:49:58for me.
00:49:59You're definitely
00:50:00not good enough for him.
00:50:01Enough!
00:50:02You're souring my party
00:50:04so you either
00:50:04get the fuck out
00:50:06or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:09On the count of three!
00:50:10I think I quite like it here.
00:50:12Two!
00:50:23Mmm.
00:50:23This wine is so delicious.
00:50:27One!
00:50:28Shoot!
00:50:30Nobody
00:50:31is laying a hand
00:50:33on my future wife.
00:50:36Mmm.
00:50:40It's...
00:50:41It's...
00:50:42It's...
00:50:51Who the hell is this?
00:50:56I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:50:57Did they hurt you?
00:50:59No.
00:51:00I'm fine.
00:51:01But, um...
00:51:02When did I become
00:51:03your future wife?
00:51:05You saved me,
00:51:07Trixie.
00:51:08Remember?
00:51:08I'm a man of my word.
00:51:10They're never gonna hurt you
00:51:11ever again.
00:51:12Really,
00:51:13it was nothing.
00:51:15I saved you
00:51:15because you're a good man.
00:51:17Not because I want you
00:51:18to owe me any favors.
00:51:25I see what this is.
00:51:26You're the one
00:51:27who cheated on me,
00:51:28Trixie.
00:51:29Look at you guys
00:51:29all lovey-dove.
00:51:31Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:32She waited for you
00:51:33for three years.
00:51:33This is the kind
00:51:34of woman of virtue
00:51:35that a man would die for.
00:51:38Virtue?
00:51:40Don't make me laugh.
00:51:41She's probably out there
00:51:42giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:44No man
00:51:45who in a hundred-foot pole
00:51:47would want to touch her.
00:51:48She should be happy
00:51:49Bob was willing
00:51:50to give her some.
00:51:55I see her in the Marines.
00:51:58I'm a major.
00:51:59You know,
00:52:00look, man,
00:52:01I know Trixie
00:52:02is like a,
00:52:03I don't know,
00:52:03like a seven
00:52:04now that she's
00:52:05all cleaned up,
00:52:05but don't waste
00:52:06your manhood
00:52:07on a whiny,
00:52:08worthless woman
00:52:09like that.
00:52:10Ow!
00:52:11Ow!
00:52:12Ow!
00:52:13Ah!
00:52:14Ah!
00:52:15A real man
00:52:16never talks about
00:52:18a woman,
00:52:18no way.
00:52:19You're a coward.
00:52:29We don't need
00:52:30to fight fire
00:52:31with fire
00:52:31to deal
00:52:32with the likes
00:52:32of them.
00:52:34You're very gracious,
00:52:35Trixie,
00:52:35you know that?
00:52:38You're only getting off
00:52:39with it because
00:52:40she's so kind,
00:52:41so you're going
00:52:41to do me the favor
00:52:42of never coming
00:52:42near her again.
00:52:43You understand?
00:52:44You want to fuck
00:52:44with me,
00:52:45you little dipshit?
00:52:46I'm a fucking major!
00:52:48You're probably
00:52:48lowest rank
00:52:49of the military grunts.
00:52:51I'll destroy you.
00:52:52Do you really
00:52:53not know
00:52:53who this is,
00:52:54Butch?
00:52:54I thought you
00:52:55were in the Marines.
00:52:56What have you
00:52:57been doing
00:52:57this whole time
00:52:58if you don't know
00:52:58who this war hero is?
00:53:01He was just
00:53:02a supply boy.
00:53:05War hero?
00:53:07Is this all
00:53:07part of your plan,
00:53:09Trixie?
00:53:09Poor girl.
00:53:10Did you sell
00:53:11your house
00:53:12to hire this actor
00:53:13so you can feel
00:53:13better about yourself?
00:53:15A woman's worth
00:53:15is tied to the man
00:53:16she marries.
00:53:17Trixie is worthless
00:53:18because that guy
00:53:19looks like a cowboy.
00:53:23A bum girl
00:53:24and a pimp.
00:53:25What a pair.
00:53:28Seems like
00:53:28they don't know
00:53:28who you are
00:53:29since you've been
00:53:29out of action
00:53:30for so long.
00:53:32Maybe we should try
00:53:32to pay some
00:53:32more.
00:53:33Don't you think?
00:53:36Bring in the wedding
00:53:36gifts.
00:53:44What is all this?
00:53:46Trixie, listen.
00:53:47I know that you
00:53:47didn't ask for anything
00:53:48after you saved my life.
00:53:51But I know
00:53:51that we shared a moment.
00:53:56I'm not the kind
00:53:56of man
00:53:57to get close to a woman
00:53:58and then just disappear.
00:53:59It's not in my nature.
00:54:01unlike somebody else here.
00:54:04Listen, Trixie,
00:54:05I have never
00:54:07met a woman
00:54:10like you.
00:54:11So incredible
00:54:12and kind
00:54:13and beautiful.
00:54:14So I know
00:54:15that you're the one
00:54:16for me.
00:54:19This guy's either nuts
00:54:20or a really,
00:54:21really good actor.
00:54:23Oscar worthy.
00:54:25Oscar worthy.
00:54:26No.
00:54:27First gift.
00:54:33Trixie,
00:54:34I know that you
00:54:34just lost your home.
00:54:35So I'm gifting you
00:54:36with your own
00:54:37new mansion.
00:54:39Worth $500 million
00:54:40previously owned
00:54:41by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:44Second gift.
00:54:48This contains
00:54:49all the rights
00:54:50to my entire fortune
00:54:52which is now yours.
00:54:54Entire fortune
00:54:55from a cowboy actor?
00:54:56Must be pennies.
00:54:58They already spent
00:54:58their entire life savings
00:54:59on this clown show.
00:55:00They've got nothing left.
00:55:02Lysander,
00:55:03I really don't care
00:55:04for any of us.
00:55:05No, look,
00:55:05I know.
00:55:06I know that you are
00:55:07the farthest thing
00:55:08from a material woman.
00:55:10Okay?
00:55:10Which is exactly why
00:55:11my third gift
00:55:13is, um,
00:55:16well...
00:55:30clio?
00:55:31Hey!
00:55:33Oh my god.
00:55:35You found my dog.
00:55:41Trixie I'm just a man, but with you it's so much more. Trixie Amore, will you marry me?
00:55:53You know I can't say no to this doggo. Yes, I will marry you.
00:56:16Go, go, power couple. Okay, stop. The only power couple here is Butch and I. Let's remind everyone how worthless
00:56:27Trixie is.
00:56:30No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:56:35Hey, I don't care if she's homeless or not, but I'm making this woman my wife.
00:56:40Which means that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on Earth. Understand?
00:56:49You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on Earth. This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:04As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:11Yes, the Armstrong family basically control the global stock market. Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England than
00:57:17someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:57:20I bet my life you're all just actors. Then you better enjoy your last breath. Come on Lysander, what are
00:57:26we waiting for?
00:57:27Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie. What can a bunch of piss poor people
00:57:30do to us, the elites?
00:57:32Infect us with your poor people bad luck. She wishes. She could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:57:38Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum. She's utterly unmarriable.
00:57:47I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:57:51I'd handle them myself, but...
00:57:55I'll let you do all the heavy lifting. Go ahead, Lysander.
00:58:05Yes, hello, this is Lysander. Please bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me.
00:58:11Oh my gosh, I'm so scared!
00:58:13Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:58:22Uh, hello? Yes!
00:58:27What?!
00:58:32I'm a bankrupt!
00:58:42Hey, hey, hey. Are you sure that was the call, Sasha? That was a real call?
00:58:47People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:58:49My company's dead. It evaporated. It's in thin air.
00:58:56That's impossible. Who are you? What did you do?
00:59:01Secretary Cho, you said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:04And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:08Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:11Then that means...
00:59:15You're really Lysander Armstrong. The richest and most powerful man in the country.
00:59:21Trixie's marrying the famed war hero.
00:59:25The man every girl wants and every man wants to be.
00:59:29Now you believe me?
00:59:30Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
00:59:34There's gotta be some trick to this. You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us.
00:59:39It's awesome. It's awesome. Please. Please.
00:59:47I know why you're all over Trixie. Because you've been in the military for so long, you don't know what
00:59:52a real woman can do for you.
00:59:54Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:00Do you have your hands for me? Or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:08I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:14Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:00:18Sasa was just trying to save the company. I don't blame her at all.
01:00:23Your double standards are incredible.
01:00:25Okay, you don't want me. Fine. But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:00:29I can give you a room full of pageant winners. 18 years old. Fresh for the taking.
01:00:41I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie.
01:00:44Thank you, Devon.
01:00:46Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancé,
01:00:53but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:00:57You're an insult to all good women out there. No, to all of humanity.
01:01:00So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:08Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:12They're impostors.
01:01:17I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:21because it was assigned by the Goddess Healer herself.
01:01:24So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:27The Goddess Healer?
01:01:28You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:34Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:01:38The Goddess Healer's motto is the right rewrites the wrong, the left leave the wrong bereft.
01:01:45That means she's rewarding me.
01:01:47The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:01:51In fact, she's on her way now.
01:01:54So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:01Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:02If the president and the Goddess Healer approves of my products, who cares about this washed-up war hero?
01:02:08We can break his legs, break his arms, no one would even bat an eye.
01:02:11She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:15FBI!
01:02:17FBI!
01:02:18You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:02:23Gotcha.
01:02:28Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:02:30No, don't arrest her.
01:02:33Trixie is a good person.
01:02:35Please officer, don't arrest her.
01:02:37Grandma, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. Williams, what are you all doing here?
01:02:41The neighbors heard about the break-up between you and Butch.
01:02:44We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:02:47Listen officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:02:52She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:02:55Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition, Trixie gave her everything she had.
01:03:00Just to help her out.
01:03:02She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:05My fiance really is an incredible woman.
01:03:08She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:15You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:19My brother is not a criminal.
01:03:21He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:03:25Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:03:28And that's why his choice to crime is stealing his identity.
01:03:32General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist.
01:03:36And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:03:41I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:03:45I promise that I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:03:51If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:03:54But don't fuck with my fiance.
01:03:56You don't get to decide, punk.
01:03:57Let's go!
01:03:58Let's go!
01:04:21Get him!
01:04:22If you can.
01:04:23If you can.
01:04:52Is that enough pain?
01:04:52No!
01:04:53No!
01:04:53No!
01:04:54No!
01:04:54I'm over here.
01:04:54No!
01:04:55No!
01:04:55I'm over here!
01:04:55No!
01:04:57No!
01:05:00No!
01:05:05You got that too.
01:05:14No!
01:05:15No!
01:05:17No!
01:05:18No!
01:05:19No!
01:05:24legend is written all over you icenander
01:05:29grandma
01:05:31meet my new fiance
01:05:34wow your new fiance he's so manly much better than your last one
01:05:40i always knew you'd find someone better it's butch's loss
01:05:45trixie has always paid so much better than marissa she's like a shining star in the sky
01:05:51and marissa's like a roach in the sewers
01:05:54bitch we name calling now i'll drown you out with insults from my side right fam
01:05:58drown out the poor drown out the poor
01:06:07see trixie you've got no connections no power you can't compete against me even if you have
01:06:13one guy on your side who can fight we're too honorable to fight dirty like you so you're
01:06:18using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them
01:06:22let them eat kate
01:06:33you can't shoot all of them grab what you can fam attack
01:06:54you will not hurt a single soul in my presence
01:06:57you will not hurt a single soul in my presence
01:07:06i'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding
01:07:16damn it
01:07:20you forgot i had a gun too
01:07:23that'll teach you from messing with the wig hams
01:07:24take miss trixie and her family and get out of here
01:07:26we're quartered
01:07:27i'll sacrifice myself to fend them off
01:07:30devon you and your brother are both good men
01:07:33i will not let your injury be in vain
01:07:36they will be punished
01:07:40now hold still for me
01:07:44right
01:07:45rewrites the world
01:07:56holy fuck did she just reverse the bullet
01:07:59by chanting the goddess healer's chant
01:08:01she the goddess healer
01:08:06i'm all better now
01:08:07thank you miss trixie
01:08:09see
01:08:10i knew that you were no ordinary woman
01:08:13no
01:08:13please
01:08:14i am just an ordinary girl
01:08:16don't put me on some sort of pedestal
01:08:18sure
01:08:20you hear that
01:08:21she's just some average homeless girl on the streets
01:08:23she was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet
01:08:26well i do not care for glory
01:08:28i do believe in justice
01:08:31marissa and butch
01:08:32not only have you betrayed me
01:08:34but now you've hurt the innocent too
01:08:36i will make you both pay for your crimes
01:08:38and who are you to judge me for what i do
01:08:41god
01:08:42wrong
01:08:44but you're close
01:08:45oh bullshit
01:08:46i'm gonna show you how the elite can trailboard you little lives
01:08:52you wanna cross the line so bad
01:08:53then let's see you try
01:08:55charge
01:09:04the hell is this
01:09:06this is the line between life
01:09:09and death
01:09:10yo was that extra neon spray paint
01:09:13i'll admit it looks pretty good but uh
01:09:15i'll die before i believe that's magic
01:09:18you're not the grim reaper
01:09:20what if it's a trap
01:09:21that woman has many tricks up her sleeves
01:09:23we ain't afraid of her
01:09:25she's nothing but a
01:09:26circus prostitute
01:09:27why don't you cross the line
01:09:29and see for yourself
01:09:31i will
01:09:34left
01:09:35leaves the wrong
01:09:44i'm fine
01:09:45nothing happens
01:09:46you'll see soon enough
01:09:47oh please i really want to die
01:09:50and you call this the line between life and death
01:09:53i knew you were just making that shit up
01:09:55whoops
01:09:56just crossed it again
01:09:57whoops
01:09:58and again
01:10:00nothing's happening
01:10:12no no no
01:10:15what did you do to my brother
01:10:17i didn't do anything
01:10:18your brother just didn't want to heed my warning
01:10:21i suggest you take him to the ur
01:10:23if you don't want your wedding to become his funeral
01:10:27come on
01:10:28major
01:10:29are you not going to help your own brother
01:10:30how was he able to cross the line
01:10:33see this must be an illusion
01:10:37only the pure of heart can cross the line
01:10:40will somebody take my brother to the hospital please
01:10:49you're so sore i wouldn't marry you you'd go and hurt my brother
01:10:52oh please
01:10:53you hurt us first
01:10:55at first i was really hurt by your betrayal
01:10:58but i've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward
01:11:03marissa
01:11:04thanks for taking this little life from me
01:11:08you blame yourself
01:11:09for being worthless
01:11:10you think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer
01:11:16when you wear
01:11:17odd and crazy clothes all day
01:11:22don't touch my wife
01:11:25and instead
01:11:26trixie gets a handsome
01:11:28and protective
01:11:29husband
01:11:30you can daydream all you want now trixie
01:11:33but when the presidential contract arrives
01:11:35it'll hit you like a fucking truck
01:11:37that you're nothing but an ugly phony
01:11:38and i'm the queen of everything
01:11:40oh really
01:11:41then let me show you how it is i who has everything you want
01:11:44you've got nothing on me
01:11:50yes
01:11:51tell the president to get here immediately
01:11:58goddess
01:11:58madam president
01:11:59i require your assistance
01:12:01yes we'll be there immediately
01:12:06get the vp we're leaving now
01:12:11did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the united states
01:12:15god i knew you were cheap but i didn't know you were crazy too
01:12:18i'm so glad i dumped you for marissa
01:12:22you're pathetic trixie
01:12:23a secretary to remind everyone how i have the presidential contract coming
01:12:27miss wickham is correct i was on the phone with the president earlier only the most important
01:12:31people have madam president's direct line
01:12:34you hear that everyone there is no way lowlife trixie could have called the president by herself
01:12:41she's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention so she's come here to play up her importance
01:12:47no
01:12:48my granddaughter would never do that
01:12:51reversing time just to heal someone's wound only the goddess healer can do that
01:12:55is trixie really the goddess healer
01:13:05oh first your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero general lysander armstrong
01:13:10and now you trixie are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract
01:13:14is this how the working class think all the time i never realized how delusional they were
01:13:21you can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces
01:13:27look i don't know what circus school you went to but you trying to make me jealous trixie it ain't
01:13:32working
01:13:33you can't just fake the
01:13:37yeah but goddess healing power is legendary it's like real magic trixie you're an angel but the
01:13:44goddess healing is beyond your imagination and if we steal her identity just to punish her ex
01:13:50won't her followers be furious and riot against you no trixie look i believe you you saved me
01:14:01whether you're a goddess or not you did that no matter what happens you are a goddess to me
01:14:08we'll riot against you now tear her apart tear her apart tear her apart tear her apart tear her apart
01:14:17the vice president arrives
01:14:34who dare cause ruckus in here
01:14:41your general lysander armstrong
01:14:43wait what he's actually general lysander armstrong no no we've been through this already once okay
01:14:51right secretary chill this actor trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me but you already
01:14:58confirm with madame president that i got the contract coming still right yes we all thought he was a
01:15:04fraud what i mean is you're the war hero general lysander armstrong and how dare you crash miss wickham's
01:15:13wedding the moment you wake up you fall under this vixen spell and now you're attacking one of the most
01:15:19important allies to the president he is the general oh but he's in trouble now did you hear that even
01:15:27the
01:15:27vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader so what if trixie picked up some
01:15:33washed up war hero we got the vp and the president on our side you'll always be nothing trixie i
01:15:42told you now
01:15:43punish them vice president langley this is treason lysander armstrong you are stripped from your
01:15:49military honors and titles
01:15:54hurry the goddess healer needs us
01:15:58you can't do that mr vice president my brother is a war hero he single-handedly saved this country
01:16:04from terrorist attack he was in a coma for two years if it wasn't for miss trixie he would enough
01:16:09you speak another word and i will bring down your entire family not just your brother
01:16:17it's okay mr vice president i've already given my life once for my country i have no problem doing
01:16:23that again if it means protecting my fiance's life and let's be honest about one other thing mr vice
01:16:29president i never gave a about any damn titles i truly saved a good man
01:16:41i will not let you bring ruin to my fiance and what can you do about it oh mr vice
01:16:48president i
01:16:48have swell idea my biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military
01:16:54let's try it out on them hold on mr vice president there's no way that you're taking this seriously
01:17:00put innocent civilian lives in danger despicable what's more despicable is that you and your filthy
01:17:07companions are disrespecting power miss wickham you can use full force on them did you hear that
01:17:27boys
01:17:28shoot wait that's the president
01:17:42oh my gosh
01:17:47oh my gosh i'm so sorry madam president that was they were totally aiming for uh trixie the the fraud
01:17:58in the
01:17:58middle what is this oh that's my new biomedical weapon madam for your military this is a war crime
01:18:06these are innocent civilian lives you're messing with you're the uncivilized buffoon i can shoot
01:18:11whoever i want i have the presidential contract with great power comes great responsibility and this
01:18:16is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract i gave you what are you doing reverse
01:18:21the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late that is easy there's no need i'll
01:18:28save
01:18:42it's raining gold what's happening trixie doesn't have that kind of money it's got to be cheap glitter
01:18:53she she is uh she is a criminal don't worry madam president we will arrest her and we'll throw her
01:19:00in prison i'd be quiet if i were you because you're the one that would be going to prison once
01:19:04everyone
01:19:04is healed up what are you talking about the president literally came here to give me my billion dollar
01:19:17contract this contract this contract yes thank you first gentleman
01:19:42my contract you bitch and that's not all
01:19:57this foul weapon will not see the light of day there is only a need for a vaccine if there
01:20:02is a
01:20:02virus don't you realize or are you too much of a goody two shoes to understand that you're the real
01:20:09virus here marissa money is worth more to you than human lives and that's something i cannot tolerate
01:20:15so prepare yourself because i'm about to smite you what are you gonna do the president is here
01:20:24and i just invented the best biomedical products in the world you'll pardon me for that little mishap
01:20:31right madam president you've recovered now so what's your final decision
01:20:39i'll oh she's gonna give me my billion dollar
01:20:46i'll smack her until she sees 50 stars
01:20:53why why are you attacking me madam president you're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar
01:20:59you wish i've never seen a woman so vile so ugly on the inside it makes me want to vomit
01:21:08i i don't
01:21:09understand i was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing
01:21:15and do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth you've really seen the goddess
01:21:23the goddess healer herself in the flesh the one and only and it's
01:21:32her
01:21:32her
01:21:42what
01:21:47welcome goddess
01:21:55Yes.
01:21:56Uh, we, uh...
01:22:00You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:03How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:05Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:10I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:13To help those in need.
01:22:15And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:18No, so that means the billion dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:24And she took it away just like that.
01:22:27That was our golden ticket.
01:22:29You were once my fiancée and best friend.
01:22:31But after everything you've done, we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:36No, please, I swear.
01:22:37I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:42It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:44Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:22:45She's an amazing person.
01:22:47And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:22:51She's going to be my wife.
01:22:52Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:01I love you.
01:23:14All her goals.
01:23:16All her clothes.
01:23:18All that could have been mine.
01:23:20This is all your fault.
01:23:21This is all...
01:23:22You seduced me!
01:23:23Stop!
01:23:24Stop!
01:23:24Stop!
01:23:24Stop!
01:23:25Stop!
01:23:25Stop!
01:23:25Stop!
01:23:28Stop!
01:23:29Trixie, give me another chance!
01:23:32I want to be rich again!
01:23:34I'll be your slave.
01:23:35I'll kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:38You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:40But it's too late now.
01:23:42All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:23:46You two should be locked up.
01:23:48And she shall.
01:23:50For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction, arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:23:55It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:23:57I never loved you.
01:23:59It's your fault!
01:24:00I was only with you for your money.
01:24:02I don't care.
01:24:02You were rich.
01:24:04I'll see myself now.
01:24:06Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:08We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:12My platform is spreading kindness just like you.
01:24:15I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:18That is why I saved you.
01:24:19With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:26Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:31Let's party!
01:24:33Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:35Right now?
01:24:36Yes.
01:24:37Well.
01:24:38Woo!
01:24:41Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:24:46I do.
01:24:47I do.
01:24:48You may kiss the bride.
01:24:49You may kiss the bride.
01:24:51You may kiss the bride.
01:24:54You may kiss the bride.
01:24:56You may kiss the bride.
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