- 6 hours ago
Sex Education By My Best Friend
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:20You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe
00:00:32What are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:58Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, Skylacher Queen.
00:01:04Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of Castle Claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:16but on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:49God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my god, he's cold!
00:02:08He's so hot.
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:16Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I'll see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What are you with me, son?
00:02:23What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:35Yeah, I break a lot of ice buttercup, okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:41I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:44You were a...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:53All right.
00:02:54I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:59You got my attention.
00:03:02So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:23Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:27My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:38What?
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:41I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:51I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Yeah, Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:58Yeah, idiot.
00:03:59I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:24But he's not your Cole.
00:04:25Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:27He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:31Hi.
00:04:32I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39That's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:45Come in.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:47Let's go.
00:04:51There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:15You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:25Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:27What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Get it back.
00:05:32Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to locker 83 right now.
00:05:39Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:40Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:57No way.
00:05:58Hey.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59No.
00:06:00Now the queen goes to the school.
00:06:07Please ignore that.
00:06:08Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:11Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmunds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmunds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:24Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:28Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:36Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:41Could it be...
00:06:42Jen?
00:06:45Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy girl.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chances, Jen.
00:06:55So is it...
00:06:57She does look kinda cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:07Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:17Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:25My name's Hayley.
00:07:26Well, Hayley.
00:07:28I think you, uh...
00:07:30You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:34What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:36Hell no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:42I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:50Whoever ends up with her, I must have filled an eye exam.
00:08:05I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today, and I lost the game.
00:08:09I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And...
00:08:14What is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is...
00:08:18I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:22It's more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:31Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:35I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:46Okay.
00:08:47No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:52But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02Ugh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:06Confidence.
00:09:06You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:13Okay.
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:17Oh, my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:25Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:31Don't look at me!
00:09:32Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think that you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:36Get out!
00:09:37Now!
00:09:38Fine.
00:09:39Ow!
00:09:40Damn it!
00:09:44Mom.
00:10:00I can't give you a chance, I'm not on to go!
00:10:03One goes back.
00:10:05Well, I'm not giving you more than a dog.
00:10:05I'm not giving you a dog.
00:10:05You're not giving you a dog.
00:10:05It's not a dog.
00:10:05It's not a dog.
00:10:06I'm not giving you a dog.
00:10:06Oh, you're not giving you a dog.
00:10:06Hey, I'm not giving you a dog.
00:10:10You're not giving me a dog.
00:10:18You're helping me.
00:10:19Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:31I love a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw you were flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:39Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:40I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:41My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Hmm, funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, I know.
00:10:54All the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way.
00:10:58Not even my type, but, you know, color theory, or whatever.
00:11:02Would you just get out of here?
00:11:12Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:17Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:20I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:25Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:33Here goes nothing.
00:11:41Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:50You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:30Oh, shit.
00:12:32Oh, shit.
00:12:33Yo, what's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36What?
00:12:37Yeah.
00:12:52Come on.
00:12:53Let's see if these goods are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop.
00:12:58Delete it, please.
00:12:59Delete it.
00:13:11Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:19Oh, my God.
00:13:21Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:24Since you're so into slutty photos why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:51My school enemy is my allied girlfriend
00:14:10You okay? Give that to me
00:14:21Now give the phone back Jan
00:14:23What the hell Cole? I thought you'd be happy
00:14:30How does it feel being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:33Not good huh?
00:14:34Now if you don't delete it off your phone
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:42She's the loser who has nude photos for random men
00:14:46Names got more personality than all of you combined
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:01I just need to be alone
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole
00:15:09And he said we were enemies
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late honey
00:15:19Love you mom
00:15:22Wait mom
00:15:27Do people change?
00:15:30Like
00:15:30Can a spoiled brat
00:15:33Somehow
00:15:35Become nice?
00:15:37Well maybe just give them a second chance
00:15:56What's up there huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:16:00They're my favorite
00:16:02Noted
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship
00:16:11Oh
00:16:12I'm really proud of you
00:16:14And then there's this guy
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me
00:16:17But at the same time he's super contradictory
00:16:20It's so confusing
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:24Sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:25No
00:16:26I'm not into this guy
00:16:27I like you
00:16:28Only you
00:16:34I really liked your photo by the way
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person
00:16:41That sounds amazing
00:16:42When?
00:16:43With?
00:16:44After school
00:16:45At the balcony
00:16:46I'll bring followers
00:16:47Deal
00:16:57I'm about to meet my boyfriend
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole
00:17:18Call me father
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today
00:17:22Defending that nobody
00:17:24Haley girl
00:17:25He's not a nobody, dad
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:36What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Haley is, Cole
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office
00:17:42That whole family is trash
00:17:44Stay away from her
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:47Stay away
00:17:48When Haley Cole
00:17:49Or I'll fire her mother
00:17:51What if she found out
00:17:52That you were the one
00:17:53Making her life miserable
00:17:54I'm almost 18
00:17:55Soon I'll have my inheritance
00:17:57I hate to make Haley wait
00:17:59But she can't know who I am
00:18:01Before I make sure her family is safe
00:18:04You're sick
00:18:07It's called
00:18:07Watching out for your future
00:18:14Oh, hi
00:18:16I'm Haley
00:18:17Yes
00:18:19So nice to meet you
00:18:21God
00:18:21I'd give anything just to hear her say my name
00:18:24But the moment she knows
00:18:25I lose her forever
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers
00:18:31You're so nice
00:18:36Guacamole wizard
00:18:38Fail
00:18:42Guacamole wizard
00:18:43Ew
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend
00:18:48Pathetic
00:18:49Maybe he's married
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat
00:18:52And maybe he's sitting on his life video
00:18:56I don't want any more trouble
00:18:59Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch
00:19:05And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich
00:19:07Eat it
00:19:11Eat it
00:19:22Call me
00:19:24So you think that you can just humiliate me
00:19:26In front of the entire school?
00:19:29You're a maid's daughter
00:19:30So you can go ahead and eat trash
00:19:33Guacamole wizard
00:19:33Where are you?
00:19:35Oh, and by the way
00:19:36Nicole's not gonna come save you
00:19:38Because after all
00:19:39He's rich
00:19:40Like me
00:19:45I'm nothing like you
00:19:50Yeah, I'm nothing like you
00:19:53Call again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up
00:19:58Call me but kidding
00:20:00It's ketchup
00:20:01Pick
00:20:02That bloody thing up
00:20:07Take it, you're gonna record this
00:20:16Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hayley anymore?
00:20:18Don't think you have leverage here
00:20:20Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are
00:20:23You're gonna hold that thing next to your face
00:20:25And do what I say
00:20:28I
00:20:29Will leave Hayley alone
00:20:33I will leave Hayley alone
00:20:38Got it?
00:20:39Yeah
00:20:39Let's go
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:46Got it?
00:20:47Let's go
00:20:50Uh, thank you
00:20:58Wow
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just
00:21:07I happen to see you
00:21:09Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:11Yeah
00:21:12My boyfriend actually
00:21:16Well, he
00:21:17He kind of stood me up, so
00:21:20Maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:23Maybe you gotta do it nice to them
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:29You thought we were enemies
00:21:31I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though
00:21:33So
00:21:34Not that annoying
00:21:36Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers
00:21:38Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Ednaz?
00:21:40Cause it's not gonna work
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses
00:21:49How'd that online boyfriend's make you fall for her?
00:21:55He
00:21:56He makes me feel safe
00:21:59You wouldn't understand that, though
00:22:05You don't understand better than you think
00:22:08Cole understands me better than I think
00:22:12I don't see
00:22:14How you touch him like this
00:22:26If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see
00:22:29No, my
00:22:31My boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:36In the game
00:22:39Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you that slow on the game, too?
00:22:56I can see why he likes you
00:23:07I can't do this
00:23:10I love my boyfriend
00:23:11And you will never understand that
00:23:13He's smart
00:23:14And he's kind
00:23:15And he loves me for who I am
00:23:19That is so much more important to me
00:23:21Than whatever this is between us
00:23:24I wish I could just tell her right now
00:23:33Wait, it couldn't be
00:23:37Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:42There's nothing
00:23:44Cole, who are you?
00:23:48What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car
00:23:51Got done getting waxed
00:23:54Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life
00:24:03What was I thinking?
00:24:05We are from two different worlds
00:24:06He just wants to play with me
00:24:08But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I got into a car accident
00:24:19Really?
00:24:20Are you okay?
00:24:21You have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:23He was right
00:24:24Who?
00:24:25Nobody
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:27I want to come visit you
00:24:29No, no, you can't
00:24:30I look miserable now
00:24:32You need to see me in style
00:24:34Fine, if you say so
00:24:36So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:39Hell yeah, we are
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case
00:25:05Oh, you
00:25:06Oh, me
00:25:07Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl
00:25:12People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:15I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework
00:25:24You finished it?
00:25:26It's okay
00:25:27What would you do now?
00:25:28I try the more
00:25:29I'm not that curious about you, actually
00:25:31I'm curious about you, though
00:25:32Like, uh, how close are you with your mom?
00:25:36What is he trying to do?
00:25:38It's none of your business
00:25:39But I'm very close with my mom
00:25:41I'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:46Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:56So
00:25:58Are you going to prom?
00:25:59I don't know
00:25:59I'm going to go well
00:26:00I don't know
00:26:02So you have a date
00:26:04Or shall I say victim?
00:26:06Are you jealous of me?
00:26:08Me?
00:26:08Jealous?
00:26:09No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:11Oh, because I think you so secretly want me
00:26:13You are so full of yourself
00:26:15You can do this on your own
00:26:16Yeah
00:26:19No way
00:26:21It's a self-locking door
00:26:23Really?
00:26:24Miss Corma's going to be back in an hour
00:26:25I'm sure it'll be fine
00:26:26I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:29Okay
00:26:29Sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up where we left off
00:26:34Don't worry
00:26:35Maybe trust me too
00:26:37We're keeping our distance this time, actually
00:26:39Yeah
00:26:50That was my first kiss
00:26:54My first kiss was not supposed to go like that
00:26:56It was supposed to be special at prom
00:26:58And not just bumping lips
00:27:10You're really good at this
00:27:12Why did I want you to regret it?
00:27:15You know
00:27:16We can do more if we want
00:27:23Anyway, I've been wanting back a lot more than you back
00:27:36So you want me?
00:27:40I think you know what y'all want to do
00:27:46Do you want me?
00:27:48I want you
00:27:54Oh shit
00:27:58Anyone in here?
00:28:01Oh my god
00:28:02How long have you two been in here?
00:28:04I really need to change this lock
00:28:06Are you two okay?
00:28:07Oh
00:28:08Yeah
00:28:08Yeah, we're good
00:28:09We're okay
00:28:10I think so
00:28:11Great
00:28:18You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:22Hey, wait
00:28:22It's just hormones
00:28:24Jake
00:28:26Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax, I'm not dead
00:28:29Wait, car accident?
00:28:32Guacamole wizard?
00:28:37I gotta go
00:28:46Guacamole wizard
00:28:47Huh?
00:28:51Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:53Do I know you?
00:28:55Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:57Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers
00:29:07She was in a real car accident
00:29:08According to you, so is guacamole wizard
00:29:10I don't like this anymore
00:29:12Cole, wait
00:29:15Oh shit
00:29:20What's up, Gus?
00:29:22Um, we were just chatting
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls
00:29:28Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:31Hey
00:29:32I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks
00:29:35They're your favorite, right?
00:29:39How did you know that?
00:29:41Top day, huh?
00:29:42There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:29:43They're my favorite
00:29:45He couldn't be Cole
00:29:48Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um
00:29:55A dickhead?
00:29:57Did you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:59You came to my table, bro
00:30:00And knocked my ball away
00:30:08There it goes again
00:30:10Cole is jealous
00:30:11We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:13We don't have a problem
00:30:15We don't have a problem
00:30:17Right?
00:30:18Tell Cole to get my ball
00:30:19And we don't have a problem
00:30:21Jake, it would take me forever
00:30:22To find one of your balls
00:30:25I have the ball now
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Hayley?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:40What if I told you
00:30:41That I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:44Wait, seriously?
00:30:45Yeah
00:30:45Just one little catch
00:30:46You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth
00:30:51All right, you have the rest of the period
00:30:53To work on your lab reports
00:30:54If you have any questions
00:30:55I'll be at my desk
00:30:58I thought guacamole wizard
00:30:59Would feel more like Cole
00:31:01But if he's really Jake
00:31:03Then maybe this was always going to end
00:31:06You've literally been sorry for five minutes
00:31:07I'm thinking
00:31:08About the report or about him?
00:31:10Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:12We literally made out of a sword
00:31:15Maybe I've known Jake longer
00:31:16No, you don't
00:31:18How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else
00:31:20Stop acting like you're serious about me
00:31:22You have no idea
00:31:28Oh my god
00:31:30Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:45Hayley, someone's here to see you
00:31:58Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:01Too cheesy?
00:32:02No, it's cute
00:32:04The accident, the mozzarella sticks
00:32:07He is guacamole wizard
00:32:09So, um, what do you think?
00:32:12Do you want to go to prom with me?
00:32:13I, I should feel happy?
00:32:16Hey, but why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:24Hey, can we not?
00:32:27Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:29My problem here, dude
00:32:29Is that me and my lab partner have work to do
00:32:31And you're out here to strike me and you're out here to strike me with bad puns
00:32:34And you're out here to strike me with bad puns
00:32:34Wow
00:32:36That is some weak shit, man
00:32:37Oh, that's weak shit
00:32:39Is this weak shit?
00:32:43Oh my god
00:32:51Wow
00:32:52Wow
00:32:52He's got really pretty eyes
00:32:59Wait, I can't
00:33:01Colt, put me down
00:33:02Put me down
00:33:03Pull me down
00:33:06Don't do that again
00:33:19New couple alert
00:33:22Fuck off, Jen
00:33:22Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:25You and I, we're not that different
00:33:26And if you'd realize and give me a chance
00:33:29I think that we would make a great match
00:33:30Like, say, if you asked me to prom
00:33:33I might say yes
00:33:37Jen
00:33:38You want to go to prom
00:33:40With me
00:33:41Jen, you want to go to prom
00:33:42With me
00:33:44We're both hot
00:33:45And we're both rich
00:33:46And our dads have been in business, like, forever
00:33:49So
00:33:50How romantic
00:33:51I think I'll pass
00:33:54You're gonna regret this, Cole Edmonds
00:33:58Oh, here they come
00:34:01If I message Quarkamole Wizard
00:34:03I wonder if Jake's phone will ding
00:34:07What should we wear to prom?
00:34:09And the Dean's List
00:34:19Um, I'll talk to you later
00:34:20I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:22Okay, yeah, I'll see you later
00:34:22Bye
00:34:24He's so different
00:34:25Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:30Hayley?
00:34:37What are you doing?
00:34:40Jeez
00:34:41God
00:34:47Here, I'll get it
00:34:48I know
00:34:52Oh
00:34:54You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:56I don't care
00:34:57I do care
00:35:00Hell yeah
00:35:01I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me
00:35:21He doesn't even know you
00:35:23And you do?
00:35:24How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:26That's something I've only ever talked about
00:35:28Because
00:35:29I pay attention to what you like
00:35:32I noticed it at lunch
00:35:34The first day
00:35:36You were watching me?
00:35:39Just
00:35:39Just don't go to promenade
00:35:54Move
00:35:55Move!
00:35:56What?
00:35:56Colt is talking to Hayley
00:35:58Again
00:35:58Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you
00:36:04Obviously I do
00:36:05Okay, then break them up
00:36:07Idiot
00:36:08uh what do i do i've got a few ideas
00:36:17hey look someone will take you to prom all right i promise yeah really like who i mean the whole
00:36:25school hates me except for jake and you but you're not asking me hey oh hey jake hey how um
00:36:36i just wanted to thank you again for the other night the other night yeah it was so sexy
00:36:47you're so sexy jake what are you talking about
00:36:50i hate to break it to you asshole but she's my prom date
00:37:01and she's a real tiger in the bedroom
00:37:03oh my god
00:37:23stop guys stop it stop stop
00:37:27what the hell is going on over there
00:37:31shit it's principal stevens i've got to save cole i mean jake i've got to save jake
00:37:41oh my god principal stevens i'm so sorry
00:37:46hayley rock that's detention after school
00:37:50don't be late
00:38:07calm what are you doing here can we keep you company
00:38:11okay it's the least i could do after you saved my ass today
00:38:16the locker thing that was an accident
00:38:18oh sure
00:38:21so uh you and you and jake huh
00:38:27no he lied about that i don't know why though
00:38:30good
00:38:33father that asshole every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach
00:38:37thinking about him touching you kissing you
00:38:40i could kill him
00:38:44promise me you won't go to prom with
00:38:49okay fine i won't
00:38:53because i want to go to prom with you
00:38:58okay everyone let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:08oh my god i am so fed up with this
00:39:29oh sorry
00:39:30hey trips
00:39:31no no no no no no no no no
00:39:33what it always has to be about her doesn't it
00:39:40they're dead
00:39:42they're both dead
00:39:43oh
00:39:45how am i gonna be able to talk to guacamole wizard
00:39:49oh
00:39:50what are you are you almost crying
00:39:53it's probably because you can't afford a new one
00:39:57jen what's going on over there
00:40:10what's going on is jen is getting a taste of her own medicine
00:40:13this squirm is burning
00:40:14mr edmunds
00:40:16oh please it's baking soda and water you're fine
00:40:18detention
00:40:19today after school
00:40:33jake hey
00:40:35oh uh sorry gotta get to student council
00:40:40hey you didn't even try the rice trick
00:40:43the rice trick
00:40:44the rice trick
00:40:46yeah
00:40:48you don't know about the
00:40:51come on
00:41:04hey um
00:41:05ella
00:41:07it's emma
00:41:08yeah that's what i said
00:41:10can you hack a broken laptop
00:41:21hey it's gonna be okay
00:41:23we'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened
00:41:27no it's not just the phone or the laptop it means it means i can't
00:41:32can't what
00:41:36i talked to a friend online
00:41:38he's really important to me
00:41:43and i'm sure
00:41:45you're really important to him
00:41:55you know cool
00:41:57if you look past
00:41:58all that hair gel
00:42:00and big ol' ego
00:42:02and rich kid
00:42:03okay okay
00:42:04i get it
00:42:08you're kind of sweet
00:42:14hey look at that
00:42:16oh my god
00:42:17thank you
00:42:20oh my god
00:42:21you're a miracle worker
00:42:28oh what is taking so long
00:42:30you doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate
00:42:32shut up ella
00:42:33it's emma
00:42:35whatever
00:42:41oh my god
00:42:50morning valley whore
00:42:52how are things in the castle
00:42:59valley whore
00:43:00what are they talking about
00:43:16guacamole wizard
00:43:17guacamole wizard
00:43:18when can we be together in person
00:43:20guacamole wizard i want you so badly i dream about you touching me
00:43:24oh my god someone hacked my castle claimers messages
00:43:27touch me guacamole wizard
00:43:30yeah
00:43:31hey valley whore
00:43:32show them what you really like
00:43:52here you go
00:43:53here this is for you
00:43:59oh do you like what i've done with the place
00:44:00you hacked
00:44:02you hacked
00:44:03my laptop
00:44:03oh no it wasn't me
00:44:05it was that kid ella
00:44:06but i definitely gotta reap the benefits
00:44:08what kind of incel sex over a video game
00:44:11hayley
00:44:11what are you catfishing this guy
00:44:13no i'm not trying to catfish him
00:44:15hey everyone
00:44:16i think valley whore is a catfish
00:44:19because who in their right mind
00:44:21would spend their time thirsting over you
00:44:48stop it stop stop
00:44:52i thought i took the janitor some time
00:44:58jake
00:44:58hey
00:45:01now's the time
00:45:02tell them
00:45:03tell them what
00:45:05that you're guacamole wizard
00:45:08who's guacamole wizard
00:45:11here you go
00:45:14oh my god
00:45:15did you think that jake was your secret little online boyfriend
00:45:18oh sweetie
00:45:20i've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you
00:45:23what
00:45:23why would you do that
00:45:24oh i don't know cole
00:45:26why do you think i would do that
00:45:29jake
00:45:29is this true
00:45:31have you been pretending to like me this whole time
00:45:35sorry
00:45:36it was nothing personal
00:45:42yeah nothing personal
00:45:45oh
00:45:46oh
00:45:48oh
00:45:49oh
00:45:50all right
00:45:51all right
00:45:52all right
00:45:52enough
00:45:53what in the world is going on here
00:45:55is that a leaf blower
00:45:57that's all him
00:45:58okay well you both have detention so
00:46:05let me get this straight
00:46:07you stole a leaf blower
00:46:09and defaced school property
00:46:10it wasn't school property dad
00:46:12it was jen's cyber boy spreadsheets
00:46:14jesus christ
00:46:15how does she always get away with this shit
00:46:17could it be because her father's running for senate cole
00:46:20you think that's what it could be
00:46:22who cares
00:46:23i care
00:46:24and
00:46:25i hear she's got an eye for you
00:46:27so you're taking her to prom
00:46:29what
00:46:29not over my dead body
00:46:31oh because you're like that hayley girl
00:46:34i'm firing her mother right now
00:46:36no no please don't
00:46:37please
00:46:38please
00:46:38then you're taking jen to prom
00:46:40max's dad called
00:46:42he said he's having a party tomorrow
00:46:43you're gonna go
00:46:44and you're gonna ask jen to prom
00:46:46end of discussion
00:46:54come on you big coward
00:46:55message him
00:46:56just do it
00:46:57just do it
00:47:01you must think i'm the biggest idiot
00:47:09i could never think that
00:47:16but i thought you were jake
00:47:18please can't you just tell me now
00:47:19i think i've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime
00:47:26i heard that guy max is throwing a party tomorrow
00:47:28if you want i'll meet you there
00:47:42okay
00:47:43you got this haley
00:47:45just take a deep breath
00:47:46you got this
00:47:48you got this
00:47:52you look beautiful
00:47:55thank you mom
00:48:15hey hailey
00:48:16i'm glad you came you look so pretty
00:48:18hi
00:48:19hey max
00:48:20your house is gorgeous
00:48:22i mean
00:48:23no it's just my parents blood money
00:48:24you know they're upstairs watching the last of us right now
00:48:27they don't care about shit
00:48:28get drunk girl
00:48:29woo
00:48:42what are you doing here
00:48:44valley whore
00:48:47looks like the catfish came out of the pond
00:48:50hey everyone let's give it up for valley whore
00:48:52valley whore
00:48:57jen
00:48:57why are you doing this
00:48:59what have i even done to you
00:49:00to me
00:49:00oh
00:49:01i'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:49:03because those little cringy messages on your castle game
00:49:07those are concerning
00:49:08actually
00:49:08kind of a bit of a perv
00:49:10did you know that
00:49:11hayley
00:49:12she's a little pervy princess
00:49:14pervy princess
00:49:17pervy princess
00:49:19pervy princess
00:49:20pervy princess
00:49:23hey
00:49:23let's get perfect tonight
00:49:25leave me alone
00:49:27is there a fire
00:49:29okay we set off the alarm
00:49:44paul
00:49:44and then we set off the alarm
00:49:55and then we'll see you next week
00:49:55bye
00:50:21Are you... him?
00:50:25Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:28Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:30Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:32No, I'm not.
00:50:33Yes, you are.
00:50:35It's okay.
00:50:36You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:38So you too.
00:50:40This whole time.
00:50:44Oh my God, I am such an idiot.
00:50:47Hey, wait.
00:50:48Wait.
00:50:52Hey, wait.
00:50:53Wait.
00:50:54Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:55You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:59Jen was doing just fine.
00:51:00I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:51:02Then what were you trying to do?
00:51:03I guess you.
00:51:05Obviously, the white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:07I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:11Now, what about guacamole, wizard?
00:51:13What are you...
00:51:22Who is that?
00:51:23I don't know.
00:51:24I don't know.
00:51:25Just the devil.
00:51:27Get in the car.
00:51:31I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:33Get in the car.
00:51:34Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:37Haley!
00:51:38I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:41Hi, Mr. Evans.
00:51:42So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:48Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:50My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:54And that's not you.
00:51:56You will be forgotten.
00:51:58You're a maid's daughter.
00:52:00And your mom works for me.
00:52:02Stay away from him.
00:52:03Or I swear to God, your mother is fire.
00:52:08Dad, stop!
00:52:09Don't you touch my family.
00:52:11I'll stay away.
00:52:13Haley, come on.
00:52:14You don't mean that.
00:52:17I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:20I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:26I hate everything about you.
00:52:28I hate all of it.
00:52:29I don't want any part of it.
00:52:32So Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:36Haley!
00:52:40Fuck this.
00:52:42Fuck me.
00:52:45No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:48Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:51Haley, not that's real love.
00:52:52Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:54I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:58Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:07Hi, Haley.
00:53:09I'm Emma.
00:53:10I know who you are.
00:53:11Right.
00:53:12I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:16So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:19Good as new.
00:53:25Oh, wow.
00:53:26Thanks, Emma.
00:53:28Okay, bye.
00:53:33One down, one to go.
00:53:36You're so cool.
00:53:38I know, Emma.
00:53:39Want to go to prom?
00:53:40Why not?
00:53:42Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:53:49Hi, Mr. Edmundsons.
00:53:51Hi, Max.
00:53:52And Max's friend.
00:53:53Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:55Cole's grounded.
00:53:56Oh, he is?
00:53:58But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:54:01What can I say, Max?
00:54:03Actions have consequences.
00:54:05Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:08Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:13We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:16Cole?
00:54:17My son, Cole?
00:54:19Reviewing budgets.
00:54:20He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:23Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:25We just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important
00:54:29and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:40Go away!
00:54:45Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:48Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:49I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:52Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:54What's going on?
00:54:56Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:58You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:59You can be together.
00:55:00Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:05No, I'll tell her myself.
00:55:08Seek me in your car.
00:55:16I'm a wizard.
00:55:19Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:21I just need some time alone.
00:55:30Open the door.
00:55:32Wait, what?
00:55:34He's here?
00:55:42It's you.
00:55:44I should have given you this to your mom's hammer.
00:55:48Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:51My dad threatened to follow your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:56I was.
00:55:56I got my inheritance.
00:55:58And I can protect you and your family, so you don't have to choose.
00:56:13Haley, I understand that this changes things.
00:56:18If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:37Nicole, I love you.
00:56:39You do?
00:56:41Yes, you idiot.
00:56:43I've loved you for months.
00:56:44I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though, because I had to be loyal to him.
00:56:51But you're him.
00:56:53You didn't expect her.
00:56:55I mean, I always hoped it was you.
00:57:00I do hoped.
00:57:02Yes.
00:57:03I hoped it was you.
00:57:05You were always there for me.
00:57:08I hadn't.
00:57:10I really fucking had.
00:57:12I don't know if you pushed him.
00:57:16Hey, uh, one of those things I said we could do.
00:57:21You gotta go.
00:57:23Yeah.
00:57:25I'll take my clothes off.
00:57:27Yeah, no, don't worry.
00:57:28Mm-hmm.
00:57:50Okay, so, what do you think?
00:57:53Ten out of ten.
00:57:54Oh.
00:57:55Yeah.
00:57:56What do again?
00:57:57Okay, sex with sex with me specifically.
00:58:00I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:58:03All right.
00:58:03All right, that's fair.
00:58:05I'll, uh, I'll take that as a one.
00:58:12What is my life now?
00:58:14Am I being nice to Cole Agnes?
00:58:16Mm, oh, God, no.
00:58:17I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:22Now I'm just, I'm just lost behind it.
00:58:25There's always been lost behind it.
00:58:26I'll take a minute, Norm.
00:58:28Stop it.
00:58:32Um, same.
00:58:34Isn't promenade?
00:58:36I think you know if it's prom or not.
00:58:39Okay.
00:58:41But the real question is, do you get a date?
00:58:45Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:47Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of gave me to the show.
00:58:51Oh, God, please don't mention his name again.
00:58:53I don't want to hear it.
00:58:55Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice.
00:58:57But I don't even have a dress.
00:58:59Later.
00:59:04I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:08Who would have guessed?
00:59:12I thought only the best for my princess.
00:59:16Where did you get that?
00:59:19I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to prom
00:59:25with me
00:59:25and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:29Of course they'll go to prom with you.
00:59:36Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
00:59:39Cole, are you here?
00:59:42Cole, are you here?
00:59:44Mr. Edmonds, you can't just barge into my house like this.
00:59:48If I let you Cole, you are in big trouble.
01:00:06Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:09You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:15Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:27What do you think?
01:00:32My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:00:37Uh-uh-uh.
01:00:39I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:41You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:4420 more minutes.
01:00:46We're in.
01:00:47Deal.
01:00:50Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:00:55I hear we have a winner.
01:00:58And your 2026 prom queen is...
01:01:03Jen Longfellow.
01:01:05Oh, thank you.
01:01:07Oh, my God.
01:01:09Thank you guys so much.
01:01:12Seriously, this makes the world to me.
01:01:14I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:17Oh, this is just the perfect moment.
01:01:23Oh, my God.
01:01:24That's Haley and Cole.
01:01:27It was fun.
01:01:28It's great.
01:01:29Yeah.
01:01:34They're, uh...
01:01:35Most time that's up.
01:01:36No.
01:01:37But who cares?
01:01:40Hell, yeah.
01:01:41Woo!
01:01:44Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:01:46Damn.
01:01:47Language.
01:01:48I am the queen, okay?
01:01:49She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:52Come on.
01:01:52Everyone say it with me.
01:01:54Pervy princess.
01:01:55Pervy princess.
01:01:56Pervy princess.
01:02:02Wait.
01:02:03Wait, wait, wait.
01:02:04What are those?
01:02:05Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:02:07Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:11His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:14Don't worry, daddy.
01:02:16If I can't have him, no one can.
01:02:19I'm going to destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:22Is this real?
01:02:23Jen's crazy.
01:02:26Who did this?
01:02:28Who did this?
01:02:31What?
01:02:32You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was going to hack your phone?
01:02:35You little shit.
01:02:37You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama.
01:02:46But quite frankly, you are the worst.
01:02:50And I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy.
01:02:55You can't do that.
01:02:56I'm the principal, so, uh, yes, I can.
01:03:00Ow!
01:03:04Ow!
01:03:05Oh, my God!
01:03:08There was no internship!
01:03:10You lied to me!
01:03:11Ow!
01:03:17Ow!
01:03:17Ow!
01:03:17Get her!
01:03:18Haley, catch.
01:03:24Oh, my princess finally has her crown.
01:03:27Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:30Oh.
01:03:31Yeah, no can do.
01:03:32All I have to offer is a Bowie Knight with a chip on his shoulder and an awesome sense of
01:03:38humor.
01:03:39Oof.
01:03:40How can I refuse?
01:03:46Oh, no, that's my dad.
01:03:50We are going home right now.
01:03:53You disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:03:56Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:03:58You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name.
01:04:03Yet, you can't see I've already become that man.
01:04:06And it's because of Haley.
01:04:08And you can accept that, or I'll make my own path.
01:04:11And best believe me, I can.
01:04:13I'll say this.
01:04:15That's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:28I'm so proud of you.
01:04:32I can't have done with all you being by my side.
01:04:35That was terrifying.
01:04:37It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before, though, so.
01:04:41I love you, Bella Quinn.
01:04:43I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:04:45Oh, my God, I gotta change that username.
01:04:47Yeah, you do.
01:04:47I love you, too.
01:04:48I love you, too.
01:04:52I love you, too.
01:04:53I love you, too.
01:04:53I love you, too.
01:04:54I love you, too.
01:04:54I love you, too.
01:05:01I love you, too.
01:05:04You
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