- 9 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess!
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:02Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:06Please, save my child.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:43Rejuvenate.
00:00:51Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:58What?
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:04Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:34Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:49Rejuvenate.
00:01:53See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo! Let's go!
00:02:05Woo!
00:02:08Whoa!
00:02:09Whoa!
00:02:11Whoa!
00:02:12Whoa!
00:02:13Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:15What?
00:02:16Please, my brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:21We have no idea what the illness is.
00:02:23If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:26The Elizander Armstrong.
00:02:27His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:02:32He's so hot.
00:02:34Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes.
00:02:36He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:38Money, fame, power.
00:02:40It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes.
00:02:49Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:55Grandma!
00:02:56I'm dying!
00:02:58Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma?
00:03:02Grandma.
00:03:03When are you getting married?
00:03:05I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:07I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:16Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:22We're talking about my brother's life.
00:03:24I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:27No!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, Miss.
00:03:38Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:39Oh, kind stranger.
00:03:41Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:43Grant me a wish?
00:03:45That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:47The downfall of humanity.
00:03:48It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What?
00:03:52Oh, Jesus.
00:03:54Giving me a migraine.
00:03:55Are you telling me to pray to God?
00:03:57Because we've been doing that.
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:01Okay.
00:04:02Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:06Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:11Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:13Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:26My migraine's gone.
00:04:28Okay, then let's go.
00:04:29If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on.
00:04:32Come on.
00:04:47How is he?
00:04:48What is the diagnosis?
00:04:50Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry.
00:04:54I don't know what this is.
00:04:55Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:57You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:59Don't worry, General.
00:05:00I'm the angel herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:26I have no clue what this is.
00:05:29Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:37Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging.
00:05:53There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:06:03They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
00:06:06If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:16The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second.
00:06:21You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:23That's correct.
00:06:24Her right rewrites the rond, and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:30That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:33We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive.
00:06:39No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son,
00:06:45I don't care if I go bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her.
00:06:49James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer will give her five million dollars.
00:06:59There's no need.
00:07:14I'll save your son.
00:07:16Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's going to save your brother?
00:07:22Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly.
00:07:28God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew!
00:07:35She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:39That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:50Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:03Could you hold this?
00:08:04Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:05You're not going to touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:11I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:19Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:30Ew!
00:08:32Disgusting.
00:08:33Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:34Security!
00:08:35Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:39If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:54You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58Alright, I'll give you a shot.
00:09:00But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:09You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:12And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:20Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:22No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:24My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:26I can't lose him.
00:09:28Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:38Also, he's great with puppies.
00:09:40He'd make a great husband.
00:09:44Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:45As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her.
00:09:56Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:01Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time.
00:10:07But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:19Oh, okay.
00:10:22What's happening?
00:10:24What are we doing?
00:10:35What the hell are you doing?
00:10:39I knew she was a perv!
00:10:41She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:44Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane?
00:10:48Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:53He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphie.
00:10:59Yeah, right, I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:11:04Oh, okay.
00:11:05I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:07I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:11And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:18This?
00:11:25It is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29What?
00:11:30So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, the rod of a sepulius?
00:11:35Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:41I agree.
00:11:42I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
00:11:48years?
00:11:48We are all certified.
00:11:50But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:54She's right about everything.
00:11:58Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:03And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
00:12:07Endogenic cryomorphie.
00:12:08Oh.
00:12:09And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:10Because I just discovered it.
00:12:13This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:17The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:19A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:22But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:27What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:28I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:32Precisely.
00:12:34You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:36You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:41I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:45Oh, so she went to the super circus and stank it.
00:12:48And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:53which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:56Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:59Oh, yeah.
00:13:01If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:04I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:07Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:13It means you're being schooled by me.
00:13:14And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:19Then let's have a bet.
00:13:21If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:13:26And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:32These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:37You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:40Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:43There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:47Don't worry.
00:13:48I got this.
00:13:51It's a deal.
00:13:53I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:56No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:04Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:11Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:15Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:27I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:30I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:33I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:38Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:41Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:14:42What for?
00:14:43Don't listen to her.
00:14:45She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:50Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:53Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery,
00:14:57you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:15:01What?
00:15:02Did you just call me?
00:15:05There's a man's life at stake here,
00:15:07and you're standing in my way.
00:15:10Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:14Now stop getting in my way,
00:15:16or I promise you,
00:15:17you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:20Oh, yeah?
00:15:21Hey, you want to see real pain?
00:15:22Where's the dog?
00:15:23Well, put down the dog!
00:15:24With pleasure.
00:15:41Left leaves the wrong bereft.
00:15:47You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:53She's been poisoned!
00:15:56It was her!
00:15:57Do you see any poison on me?
00:16:00Medicine in the right hands can save lives,
00:16:02but in the wrong hands,
00:16:04it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:06This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:09Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:11Of course.
00:16:12I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:16If I want to save someone,
00:16:17even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:35Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:37This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:39I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way,
00:16:42angel herbalist.
00:16:43This is what I call malpractice.
00:16:47This isn't fatal.
00:16:49She'll live.
00:16:49But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:52Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:54Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:55Right this way.
00:16:56Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:58What the hell is going on?
00:16:59You say you want your son to live on
00:17:01to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:03Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:05Every second counts.
00:17:08Let's go for a dip, shall we?
00:17:13General Armstrong,
00:17:15your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:19Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:23Hold on.
00:17:24You two are going in there alone?
00:17:27If you don't want these drooling vultures
00:17:29to see your son naked,
00:17:30then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:33All right.
00:17:34But I warn you,
00:17:36no funny business.
00:17:55All right.
00:17:58I don't know.
00:18:55I don't know.
00:18:58I'm a homeless woman.
00:18:59Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:02We have to have faith.
00:19:04Where did you actually find this little life?
00:19:07Uh, on the streets.
00:19:10Are you shitting me?
00:19:13You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:14Are you nuts?
00:19:15You don't know her.
00:19:16You don't know her background.
00:19:18She could be a psychotic murder.
00:19:20That is it, General.
00:19:21You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:22You're right.
00:19:23That's it.
00:19:24I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:26James, let's go.
00:19:27Yes, sir.
00:19:31Oh, my...
00:19:38I told you all to stay out.
00:19:45This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:47We can't be interrupted.
00:19:49Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:54I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:20:00I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:02No.
00:20:07You see that, General?
00:20:08This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:10This is a witchcraft.
00:20:13I know what this is.
00:20:15This is the dark witch.
00:20:17I've heard of her.
00:20:18She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men,
00:20:23and then she eats them alive.
00:20:24I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:27James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:30Yes, sir.
00:20:34You're regaining consciousness.
00:20:45Help me.
00:20:47I just want to...
00:20:52Something's wrong.
00:20:56You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:59Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:04That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:13Sir?
00:21:14The SWAT team is here.
00:21:16Captain Morales.
00:21:19My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:24I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:27Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:29We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:36Right.
00:21:37Right.
00:21:38Rewrites the wrong.
00:21:42Human.
00:21:46Who the fuck are you?
00:21:47And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:51Good.
00:21:52You're awake.
00:21:53I'm saving you.
00:21:55By bathing with me.
00:21:58Who are you?
00:21:58You're a fucking spy?
00:22:00I swear to God, I'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:05You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stippor.
00:22:10I will never.
00:22:11Oh, really?
00:22:25Look who's scouting now.
00:22:29Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right, but it is a biological fact.
00:22:33A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:38It's science, okay?
00:22:40It just means that my body...
00:22:41Oh, shut up.
00:22:41Excuse me.
00:22:45You're just talking to me with your phone.
00:22:47And I'm a professional.
00:22:49I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:51Captain, do something now.
00:22:52Ready!
00:22:58We're almost there.
00:23:01Aim!
00:23:03Get him, boys.
00:23:04Get him!
00:23:06Fire!
00:23:10Fire!
00:23:25Those damascals.
00:23:27How is this possible?
00:23:29It's not even a scratch.
00:23:31I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:33Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:35No, I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:39She's not the dark witch.
00:23:40Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:44This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:48How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:50That's right.
00:23:51The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:55If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:58Except for the goddess healer.
00:24:00Think about it.
00:24:00We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:02He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:04Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:05You're right.
00:24:06This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
00:24:12Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
00:24:14No!
00:24:15No!
00:24:16Absolutely not.
00:24:17There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:21But how could you know for sure?
00:24:22Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:26You're wrong, sir!
00:24:27This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:31It's called Borderline Revival.
00:24:34She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:37But only temporarily.
00:24:39It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:43That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:46I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing witch.
00:24:52My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:54He is dying right now, naked, in a jacuzzi, with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:59Then it looks like it's up to me, the witch doctor.
00:25:02Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:06My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:09You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:13I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:19from me.
00:25:21This isn't the finishing touch.
00:25:24I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:27So we can both survive.
00:25:47It's poison gas.
00:25:50Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:55Poison gas?
00:25:56My son is in there.
00:25:57You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:26:00No, don't worry, General.
00:26:01Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:04Soon, she'll come out crying to mommy.
00:26:08Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:10And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:12They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:18I made a promise to you that I'd save you.
00:26:21It's now or never.
00:26:35What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:37It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:38Wait a second.
00:26:40You don't think that they're...
00:26:42You!
00:26:43You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:45Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:47If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:26:50Oh my god.
00:26:51Yeah?
00:26:52She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:54I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:58Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:27:02This is taking way too long.
00:27:04Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
00:27:09These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:12Bazooka.
00:27:13She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:16Crap.
00:27:17Oh my god.
00:27:17Get back, son.
00:27:19Ready.
00:27:21Aim!
00:27:22Oh, shit.
00:27:27Quit your whining and stand down.
00:27:41The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:43Shoot her dead now.
00:27:45Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:47I said stand down.
00:27:50Don't listen to her.
00:27:51She's a fraud.
00:27:52A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:54I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:58If I'm a termite, then you're worse than a disease spreading tick.
00:28:03Wait a second.
00:28:04Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:06He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:07You can see for yourself.
00:28:09Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:12That is it.
00:28:13No more stalling, General.
00:28:15If you won't punish her, I will.
00:28:21Don't hurt her.
00:28:27She's cured.
00:28:33His pulse is regular.
00:28:35In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:40There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:51Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:53Lysander's warm again.
00:28:54He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:56And his heart is strong.
00:28:58Come, feel it.
00:29:01I saved my son.
00:29:03Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:07Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:11I've learned my lesson.
00:29:13I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:18Wait, wait.
00:29:18No, no, there is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine
00:29:24than the queen, angel, and I.
00:29:28The goddess healer.
00:29:33Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:36But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old,
00:29:40and you don't look a day after 20.
00:29:43It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:45What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:48Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:52Take care.
00:29:53No, wait.
00:29:54Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:57He's right.
00:29:58We are men of our words, and as I promised you,
00:30:01my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife if you cured him,
00:30:04and you did just that.
00:30:06Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:10I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
00:30:13I...
00:30:15I'm already engaged.
00:30:19Already engaged?
00:30:20I am.
00:30:21I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years,
00:30:25and he's coming back today.
00:30:27But don't be disappointed.
00:30:29Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:31I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:33Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:36But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:38Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:41Take the gold.
00:30:42No, really.
00:30:44I don't need anything.
00:30:45I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:51Trixie, it's your fiancée.
00:30:53He's back, and he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:58I must go.
00:31:05Hobo close.
00:31:07Halo glow.
00:31:08I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:12It was just dumb luck.
00:31:14She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:17She could have been the richest woman in the world,
00:31:19marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:25I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:32Oh, my God.
00:31:33I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo,
00:31:36but this is godly.
00:31:39No, no, no, no, Lysander.
00:31:42Lysander's job is supposed to be mine.
00:31:45I'd so much rather share him with you
00:31:47than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:50You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:53Take these two weirdos out of here
00:31:55and revoke their licenses.
00:31:57No.
00:31:58We're not brides.
00:31:59No, she's just better than us.
00:32:02Oh, my God.
00:32:04Oh, my God.
00:32:06We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:09She's no average Jane.
00:32:10No, she isn't.
00:32:11She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:13But if she truly had these special skills,
00:32:16why did she wear that shit-stained dress
00:32:18and had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:19But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:21No normal person could have done that.
00:32:23Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:26I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:28I have to find her.
00:32:29I have to make her my life.
00:32:31She won my heart over, too.
00:32:32But if my bestest big bro wants her,
00:32:35I'll help you find her.
00:32:36All right, listen.
00:32:38I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:45I'm dumping Trixie.
00:32:46So I want you, your granddaughters,
00:32:49filthy things out of my house now.
00:32:53Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:55She waited for you for three years.
00:32:58She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:33:00And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:33:02One with some serious fuck-you money.
00:33:05So get lost.
00:33:07Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena
00:33:10in my house?
00:33:16Grandma.
00:33:17Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:21I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:23I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:27In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:30So sign over the house now.
00:33:37You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:40And I did.
00:33:41For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:44Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:47And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:50Do you have no shame?
00:33:51We were together for three years.
00:33:53And it was a complete waste of my life
00:33:55when I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:03That's how much you would owe me
00:34:04if I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business.
00:34:09I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations
00:34:11of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:17Oh, yeah?
00:34:19Well, Marissa
00:34:21is so much better than you.
00:34:22Now, she grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:26And now, she's the CEO
00:34:28of an entire corporation.
00:34:33And you?
00:34:35You're still nothing.
00:34:37So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:39Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:41Look what she got me for my engagement.
00:34:45Oops.
00:34:47Yeah.
00:34:48That's maybe worth one millionth
00:34:50the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:57You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:59I certainly did.
00:35:01In fact, Marissa,
00:35:03you and your dimwit brother
00:35:05only have everything you have
00:35:07all thanks to me.
00:35:13Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:15That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:18You two are the ungrateful,
00:35:20cheating scum here.
00:35:21My granddaughter supported you
00:35:24and your entire family
00:35:25for three years while you were gone.
00:35:28How dare you insult her?
00:35:31It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:32Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:35Poor Edna.
00:35:36She still doesn't know
00:35:37what you're doing
00:35:37out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:39What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:35:41Show her, Bob.
00:35:47This is how embarrassingly useless
00:35:49your granddaughter is.
00:35:50She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:52She was begging on the street for money.
00:35:56I can't be caught
00:35:57with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:59Even if you got no game,
00:36:01I got street credit I got off-keep.
00:36:03You dig?
00:36:03The word you're looking for
00:36:05is dignity.
00:36:06And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:10Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:15I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:17I want to see how regular,
00:36:19everyday people live
00:36:20so that I can help them.
00:36:22Of course,
00:36:23those without substance underneath
00:36:25would never understand that.
00:36:27What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:28It means
00:36:29the new girlfriend you think
00:36:30is an upgrade
00:36:32is actually a downgrade.
00:36:37Enough bullshitting already!
00:36:38Just sign the damn papers
00:36:39and we can each get on
00:36:40with our lives.
00:36:54At your wedding, I will.
00:36:56What?
00:36:57If you won't do good
00:36:58by me of breaking things off
00:37:00before two-timing me
00:37:01with my best friend,
00:37:03why should I do good by you?
00:37:05I'll give you my John Hancock
00:37:06at your wedding
00:37:07as a charity
00:37:09to you.
00:37:10Fucking bitch!
00:37:11You better keep your word.
00:37:13Oh, that's rich.
00:37:15After tomorrow,
00:37:16you will never feel
00:37:16so rich ever again.
00:37:18Do remember that.
00:37:25Trixie,
00:37:26Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:29They'll destroy you
00:37:30if you show
00:37:30even so much as a hair
00:37:32at their wedding.
00:37:33Grandma,
00:37:34I have to confess
00:37:35something to you.
00:37:36I've secretly amassed
00:37:38a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:40Trillions?
00:37:43That would make you
00:37:44the richest person
00:37:46on the planet.
00:37:47It's because of
00:37:48the healing hands
00:37:49I inherited
00:37:49from Asseplius,
00:37:51the god of healing.
00:37:52I've saved
00:37:53several world leaders
00:37:55with these hands.
00:37:56That's how I was able
00:37:57to give Marissa
00:37:58the presidential contract
00:37:59and become
00:38:00the goddess healer.
00:38:01It makes me angrier
00:38:02hearing her name
00:38:04knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:05But please,
00:38:07Trixie, dear,
00:38:08I know it was
00:38:09to broken your heart,
00:38:10but embellishing
00:38:12your worth
00:38:13and who you are,
00:38:14it will only delay
00:38:15the healing process.
00:38:17You don't have to
00:38:18believe me just yet.
00:38:19After we lost
00:38:20mom and dad
00:38:21because we didn't have
00:38:22the money
00:38:22for their medical bills,
00:38:24I vowed that I would
00:38:26do everything I can
00:38:27to serve those in need.
00:38:29That's why I'm taking
00:38:30everything back from Butch
00:38:31and I'm giving it
00:38:32back to charity.
00:38:33You've always had
00:38:34an angel's heart.
00:38:35I'm certain you will
00:38:36meet someone
00:38:37who will treat you right,
00:38:39who actually deserves you.
00:38:41You will see
00:38:42tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:45Oh, yeah.
00:38:47Stop.
00:38:51You said Trixie's
00:38:52crashing your wedding?
00:38:53She was bullying us, too, Sasa.
00:38:56She's probably
00:38:56trying to extort you
00:38:57now that she knows
00:38:58you're rich as fuck.
00:39:00I hope when nobody
00:39:01steps on Snake,
00:39:02Snake bites back hard.
00:39:04So let her come
00:39:05and embarrass herself.
00:39:07You mean
00:39:10we broadcast
00:39:12that video of you?
00:39:16Yes.
00:39:17Her cavewoman
00:39:17stake the 19th century
00:39:19tin can.
00:39:20She'll prop me up
00:39:21higher on my pedestal
00:39:22and the whole world
00:39:22sees her in her
00:39:23homeless mess
00:39:24against my
00:39:24presidential glow-up.
00:39:26Let's turn this party
00:39:27into her funeral.
00:39:35There he is.
00:39:38Welcome home, brother.
00:39:40Welcome home, General!
00:39:44Sir, the homeless woman
00:39:46who saved you,
00:39:46Miss Trixie,
00:39:47this is the file
00:39:48of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:49He served with
00:39:50your regiment
00:39:50in the Marines.
00:39:51You mean the Butch Tanner
00:39:52that can barely
00:39:53carry supplies?
00:39:54Well, she's been
00:39:54providing for him
00:39:55and his entire family
00:39:56while he's been
00:39:57deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:58So she waited for him
00:39:59for years
00:40:00and then he betrayed her.
00:40:01Fucking coward.
00:40:02According to intel,
00:40:03she's planning to bring
00:40:04it down on them
00:40:04at their wedding.
00:40:05Then we should join her.
00:40:07Men,
00:40:08I'm only alive today
00:40:09because of that
00:40:10virtuous woman
00:40:11and her incredible power
00:40:12that saved my life.
00:40:13So she needs our support.
00:40:14Will you join me
00:40:15in protecting her?
00:40:16Yes, sir!
00:40:17We will allow our lives
00:40:18to protect her, sir!
00:40:20And let's roll.
00:40:36Welcome, everyone,
00:40:38to my wedding.
00:40:39Today is a very special day
00:40:40for me and Butch.
00:40:41Not only are we getting married,
00:40:42but in just one hour,
00:40:43my company will be receiving
00:40:44the presidential contract,
00:40:46allowing my biomedical company
00:40:48and I need to go public.
00:40:53Congratulations on the contract
00:40:54once again, Mrs.
00:40:55Like who?
00:40:56Stowe, Butch is taking
00:40:57my last name.
00:40:58Oh, and please,
00:40:59don't be so uptight,
00:41:00Secretary Cho.
00:41:02You are the secretary
00:41:03of the entire
00:41:04U.S. Health Department,
00:41:04but this is a par-tay after all.
00:41:07I see some of the
00:41:08most important people
00:41:09in the nation
00:41:10have also arrived
00:41:11to celebrate you.
00:41:13The U.S. president
00:41:15will also be arriving soon
00:41:17to give you
00:41:17the contract herself.
00:41:19It's an honor.
00:41:20That's why Sasa
00:41:21is the best wife
00:41:22a man could ever dream of.
00:41:25We will make sure
00:41:26the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:28We'll let the wedding begin.
00:41:32Not so fast.
00:41:33The party doesn't start
00:41:35until I say it does.
00:41:58You two really are
00:41:59a match made in hell.
00:42:01So I've come to save
00:42:02your guests from this
00:42:03oncoming train wreck.
00:42:04I don't recognize it
00:42:05from any of our elite circles.
00:42:07Who is she?
00:42:07Uh, this is our
00:42:09entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:11Just watch.
00:42:15Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:16This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:17You lost.
00:42:18I bet she's here
00:42:19to bum a meal off us.
00:42:20You know, being this poor.
00:42:24Me, bum a meal.
00:42:26Have you forgotten
00:42:27that it was I
00:42:27who bankrolled you two
00:42:28for the last three years?
00:42:29And what evidence
00:42:30do you have of that?
00:42:32Look at me,
00:42:32then go look at yourself
00:42:33in the mirror.
00:42:34I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:36Even the first woman president
00:42:38will be here
00:42:39any second now
00:42:39to congratulate me.
00:42:41And you're nothing
00:42:41but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:44Sasa, she's like
00:42:45so obsessed with me.
00:42:46She's like...
00:42:48See, everyone?
00:42:49Butch already cut ties
00:42:51with his ex,
00:42:51but she's so shameless
00:42:53and desperate
00:42:54that she'd still show up
00:42:55to my wedding
00:42:56to suck up to me.
00:42:57This is what poor sad girls do.
00:43:00They beg for scraps
00:43:02from us,
00:43:03the rich and glorious.
00:43:05Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:06You might feel
00:43:07all high and mighty now,
00:43:08but don't bite the hand
00:43:09that feeds you.
00:43:11Especially when I'm the one
00:43:12who's giving you the contract.
00:43:18You, giving me the contract?
00:43:21You have no skills,
00:43:23no education,
00:43:24no connection,
00:43:25so how could you possibly
00:43:26have a pool
00:43:27to get the U.S. fucking president
00:43:29to give me
00:43:30a billion dollar contract?
00:43:32We both share
00:43:32humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:34And I saw potential in you.
00:43:36Even trusted you
00:43:37as my best friend.
00:43:38But I recognize now
00:43:39that greed
00:43:40has poisoned you.
00:43:41Don't be all sore now
00:43:43just because
00:43:43I stole your man.
00:43:45This is what
00:43:46us rich girls do.
00:43:47They steal from
00:43:48lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:50Damn right.
00:43:51You were
00:43:53too embarrassing
00:43:54for me.
00:43:55Sasa tramples you
00:43:56any day.
00:43:57I can say that now
00:43:58that I'm marrying the rich.
00:44:00Bravo.
00:44:01Self-admission
00:44:01of a gold digger.
00:44:02Quick,
00:44:03somebody put that
00:44:04on a memoir.
00:44:04Sasa,
00:44:05she's embarrassing me
00:44:05in front of everyone.
00:44:07She'll make her sup.
00:44:07Don't listen to her,
00:44:08everyone.
00:44:09She's the gold-dicking,
00:44:11blood-sucking leech.
00:44:12And I don't even
00:44:12have to lift a finger
00:44:14and you're already
00:44:14embarrassing yourself
00:44:15in front of everyone
00:44:16for me, butch.
00:44:19You may look
00:44:19and sound like a man,
00:44:21but you're nothing
00:44:22but a pathetic coward.
00:44:23Okay, enough!
00:44:24You know what
00:44:24I always couldn't stand
00:44:25about you?
00:44:26Your moral posturing.
00:44:28But guess what?
00:44:30Morals are just lies
00:44:31to make you
00:44:31and girls feel better
00:44:32about yourselves.
00:44:33That's why no man
00:44:34will choose you
00:44:35over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:37Because I've got
00:44:37the material goods
00:44:39and you're just
00:44:40all empty talk.
00:44:41I'm not here
00:44:41to request to be chosen
00:44:43because I'm the one
00:44:44who's doing the choosing.
00:44:47See this?
00:44:59Oh my God.
00:45:01Is that the billion-dollar
00:45:02contract for Sasa?
00:45:06The one that's supposed
00:45:07to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:08No, absolutely not.
00:45:10I don't believe it.
00:45:12You all sound so scared already.
00:45:14Don't worry.
00:45:15This isn't that contract.
00:45:17It's the lease
00:45:18to the modest home
00:45:19you try to swindle from me.
00:45:23See everyone?
00:45:24She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:26But you don't even have
00:45:26the guts to go all the way.
00:45:28Look at her following orders.
00:45:29I asked her to sign
00:45:30over the lease
00:45:31and here she is.
00:45:32Like a good little
00:45:34peasant slave.
00:45:35That house is worth
00:45:36all her life savings.
00:45:40You want to, uh,
00:45:42I don't know,
00:45:42beg for a little treat
00:45:43while you're at it?
00:45:54You misunderstand me.
00:45:56I'm here to take back
00:45:57everything I've ever given you.
00:45:59I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:07Bro!
00:46:08She's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:10She thinks that just because
00:46:11she rented a pretty little dress
00:46:12she can pretend to be
00:46:13a deep pocket-investing baddie.
00:46:15You wish you had that kind of money
00:46:16to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:18It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:20Uh, I know what this is.
00:46:22You've gone delusional.
00:46:24And you think you're Cinderella
00:46:25so you can just show up
00:46:26to a fancy party
00:46:27and some Prince Charming
00:46:28will scoop you into money forever?
00:46:30Well, that's not happening.
00:46:32Security!
00:46:33Lock the doors.
00:46:34This woman doesn't leave
00:46:35until we're through with her.
00:46:39This is where your dreams
00:46:41will die, bitch.
00:46:45We found Miss Trixie, Lysander.
00:46:47She's being cornered
00:46:47by her ex and his mistress
00:46:48at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:49Butch Tanner.
00:46:51Well, he's gonna wish
00:46:51he died in battle
00:46:52after I'm done with him.
00:46:54Let's go.
00:46:58You think a few toy guns
00:47:00scare me, Marissa?
00:47:01I've saved plenty of people
00:47:03from much worse.
00:47:05Including your head of command, Butch.
00:47:07General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:10You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:12He's been in a coma for years
00:47:14after he saved the nation
00:47:15from a terrorist attack.
00:47:16You're an unskilled,
00:47:18unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:20So how could you possibly
00:47:21have this magical ability
00:47:23to heal someone like
00:47:24General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:26No one here's gonna believe you.
00:47:27If you really cured
00:47:28the incurable general,
00:47:30then Sasa is the fucking
00:47:31Virgin Mary.
00:47:32And she's not.
00:47:33You're just asking
00:47:35to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:37Show them, Butch.
00:47:43See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:45Trixie's just a
00:47:47freeloading beggar.
00:47:51She won't leave me
00:47:52and Marissa alone
00:47:53because we're rich as fuck now.
00:47:55I'm a major in the Marines.
00:47:57Sasa, she has
00:47:59a billion dollar
00:48:00biomedical contract
00:48:01with the military.
00:48:03Approved by the first
00:48:04female president
00:48:05of the United States
00:48:06herself, bitch.
00:48:08How despicable.
00:48:09She's just trying
00:48:10to leech off you
00:48:11like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:13Get out of here.
00:48:14No one wants to marry you.
00:48:15No free meals for the poor.
00:48:17Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:19This is high society.
00:48:21So you're either born
00:48:22on a silver spoon
00:48:23or you're as accomplished
00:48:24as me to be here.
00:48:26Maybe if you do
00:48:27some serious dick-sucking here,
00:48:29maybe someone will drop
00:48:30a couple bucks
00:48:31in your tin can.
00:48:35I already have everything
00:48:36one can dream of.
00:48:37But I valued our friendship,
00:48:39Marissa, which is why
00:48:40I came here to give you
00:48:41a second chance.
00:48:42To see if you'd apologize
00:48:43and admit to your backstabbing.
00:48:45But no.
00:48:46You stooped so low
00:48:48it disgusts me.
00:48:50Nothing is more disgusting
00:48:51than you standing
00:48:52on street corners
00:48:53like a bum.
00:48:54And who knows
00:48:55if you've already started
00:48:56offering sexual services.
00:48:59Well then,
00:49:01why don't you get on
00:49:02your knees for me, Trixie?
00:49:03My brother
00:49:04will never take you back.
00:49:06No man will marry
00:49:07an embarrassed man
00:49:08like you.
00:49:09But make me happy?
00:49:11And I might consider
00:49:12making you my
00:49:13personal prostitute.
00:49:25How dare you
00:49:26hit my brother?
00:49:27I'm never letting you
00:49:28leave here alive.
00:49:30I saw that.
00:49:31I had to do something.
00:49:32Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:34After I'm done
00:49:34with you, Trixie,
00:49:35not even
00:49:36the goddess of healing
00:49:37will be able to save you.
00:49:39Oh, is that so?
00:49:42Security!
00:49:44Get down on your knees
00:49:46and give Bob
00:49:47one hell of a blowjob
00:49:48in front of everybody here
00:49:50or I'll pop
00:49:51so many holes in you
00:49:52the men here
00:49:53won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:54I don't need to be
00:49:55the goddess of anything
00:49:56to punish you.
00:49:57Any of the powerful leaders
00:49:58I've saved before
00:49:59could crush you
00:50:00before you even touch me.
00:50:02Dream on!
00:50:04You wish General Licender
00:50:05scooped you
00:50:06off your feet
00:50:07but you weren't
00:50:07good enough for me.
00:50:08You're definitely
00:50:09not good enough for him.
00:50:10Enough!
00:50:12You're souring my party
00:50:13so you either
00:50:14get the fuck out
00:50:16or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:18On the count of three!
00:50:20I think I quite like it here.
00:50:21Two!
00:50:33This wine is so delicious.
00:50:36One!
00:50:37Shoot!
00:50:40Nobody is laying a hand
00:50:42on my future wife.
00:50:49It's...
00:51:00Who the hell is this?
00:51:06I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:07Did they hurt you?
00:51:09No.
00:51:10I'm fine.
00:51:11But, um,
00:51:12when did I become
00:51:13your future wife?
00:51:15You saved me,
00:51:17Trixie.
00:51:18Remember?
00:51:18I'm a man of my word.
00:51:20They're never gonna hurt you
00:51:21ever again.
00:51:22Really?
00:51:23It was nothing.
00:51:24I saved you
00:51:25because you're a good man.
00:51:27Not because I want you
00:51:28to owe me any favors.
00:51:35I see what this is.
00:51:36You're the one
00:51:37who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:51:38Look at you guys
00:51:39all lovey-dove.
00:51:40Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:42She waited for you
00:51:42for three years.
00:51:43This is the kind of woman
00:51:45of virtue
00:51:45that a man
00:51:45would die for.
00:51:48Virtue?
00:51:50Don't make me laugh.
00:51:51She's probably out there
00:51:52giving blowjobs
00:51:53for cash.
00:51:54No man
00:51:55who in a hundred-foot pole
00:51:57would want to touch her.
00:51:58She should be happy
00:51:59Bob was willing
00:52:00to give her some.
00:52:05I see her in the Marines.
00:52:08I'm a major
00:52:09and a look man.
00:52:11I know Trixie
00:52:12is like a
00:52:13I don't know
00:52:13like a seven
00:52:14now that she's all
00:52:15cleaned up
00:52:16but don't waste
00:52:16your manhood
00:52:17on a whiny
00:52:18worthless woman
00:52:19like that.
00:52:25A real man
00:52:26never talks about
00:52:28a woman that way.
00:52:29You're a coward.
00:52:40We don't need
00:52:41to fight fire
00:52:41with fire
00:52:42to deal with
00:52:42the likes of them.
00:52:44You're very gracious
00:52:45Trixie.
00:52:46You know that?
00:52:49You're only getting
00:52:49off of it
00:52:50because she's so kind
00:52:51so you're going
00:52:51to do me the favor
00:52:52of never coming
00:52:53near her again.
00:52:53You understand?
00:52:54You want to fuck
00:52:55with me you little dipshit?
00:52:56I'm a fucking major.
00:52:58You're probably
00:52:59lowest rank
00:52:59of the military grunts.
00:53:01I'll destroy you.
00:53:03Do you really
00:53:03not know who this is
00:53:04Butch?
00:53:05I thought you were
00:53:06in the Marines.
00:53:07What have you been
00:53:07doing this whole time
00:53:08if you don't know
00:53:09who this war hero is?
00:53:11He was just
00:53:12a supply boy.
00:53:15War hero?
00:53:17Is this all part
00:53:18of your plan,
00:53:19Trixie?
00:53:20Poor girl.
00:53:21Did you sell
00:53:22your house
00:53:22to hire this actor
00:53:23so you can feel
00:53:24better about yourself?
00:53:25A woman's worth
00:53:26is tied to the man
00:53:27she marries.
00:53:28Trixie is worthless
00:53:29because that guy
00:53:29looks like a cowboy.
00:53:34A bum girl
00:53:35and a pimp.
00:53:36What a pair.
00:53:38Seems like they
00:53:39don't know who you are
00:53:39since you've been
00:53:40out of action
00:53:40for so long.
00:53:42Maybe she tried
00:53:42to piss them off
00:53:43some more.
00:53:43Don't you think?
00:53:46Bring in the wedding
00:53:47gifts.
00:53:55What is all this?
00:53:56Trixie, listen.
00:53:57I know that you
00:53:58didn't ask for anything
00:53:59after you saved my life.
00:54:01But I know that we
00:54:02shared a moment.
00:54:06I'm not the kind
00:54:07of man to get
00:54:08close to a woman
00:54:08and then just disappear.
00:54:10It's not in my nature.
00:54:12I'm like somebody
00:54:13else here.
00:54:15Listen, Trixie,
00:54:16I have never
00:54:18met a woman
00:54:20like you.
00:54:21so incredible
00:54:23and kind
00:54:24and beautiful.
00:54:25So I know
00:54:26that you're
00:54:27the one for me.
00:54:29This guy's either
00:54:30nuts or a really,
00:54:32really good actor.
00:54:34Mm-hmm.
00:54:34Oscar worthy.
00:54:35Oscar worthy.
00:54:36No.
00:54:38First gift.
00:54:43Trixie, I know
00:54:44that you just
00:54:45lost your home.
00:54:46So I'm gifting you
00:54:47with your own
00:54:48new mansion.
00:54:50Worth $500 million,
00:54:51previously owned
00:54:52by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:55Second gift.
00:54:58This contains
00:55:00all the rights
00:55:00to my entire fortune,
00:55:03which is now yours.
00:55:04Entire fortune
00:55:05from a cowboy actor?
00:55:07It must be that easy.
00:55:08They already spent
00:55:09their entire life savings
00:55:10on this clown show.
00:55:11They've got nothing left.
00:55:13Lysander,
00:55:14I really don't care
00:55:15for any of us.
00:55:15No, look,
00:55:16I know.
00:55:17I know that you are
00:55:18the farthest thing
00:55:19from a material woman.
00:55:20Okay?
00:55:21Which is exactly why
00:55:22my third gift
00:55:24is, um,
00:55:26well...
00:55:41Cleo!
00:55:42Hey!
00:55:44Oh, my God.
00:55:46You found my dog.
00:55:51Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:55:53But with you,
00:55:54it's so much more.
00:55:55Trixie Amore.
00:56:00Will you marry me?
00:56:03You know I can't say no
00:56:05to this doggo.
00:56:09Yes,
00:56:10I will marry you.
00:56:27Go, go, power couple.
00:56:30Woo!
00:56:31Okay, stop.
00:56:32The only power couple here
00:56:34is Butch and I.
00:56:36Let's remind everyone
00:56:37how worth his Trixie is.
00:56:40No man
00:56:41in their right mind
00:56:43would marry
00:56:44that embarrassing
00:56:45sack of scraps.
00:56:46Hey.
00:56:47I don't care
00:56:47if she's homeless or not,
00:56:49but I'm making
00:56:49this woman my wife,
00:56:50which means that
00:56:52she will be treated as
00:56:53and cherished as
00:56:54the most precious woman
00:56:55on Earth.
00:56:56Understand?
00:57:01You still don't realize
00:57:02that my brother
00:57:03is the most powerful
00:57:04man on Earth.
00:57:05This is General
00:57:07Lysander
00:57:07Armstrong.
00:57:15As if
00:57:16like the almighty
00:57:18General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:19would propose
00:57:20to a homeless prostitute
00:57:21like Trixie.
00:57:22Yes,
00:57:23the Armstrong family
00:57:24basically controlled
00:57:24the global stock market.
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong
00:57:27would sooner marry
00:57:28the Princess of England
00:57:29than someone
00:57:29from the lowest rank
00:57:30of society.
00:57:32I bet my life
00:57:33you're all just
00:57:33actors.
00:57:35Then you better
00:57:35enjoy your last breath.
00:57:36Come on,
00:57:37Lysander.
00:57:38What are we waiting for?
00:57:38Let's show them
00:57:39what we can do
00:57:39and get revenge
00:57:40for Trixie.
00:57:40What can a bunch
00:57:41of piss poor people
00:57:42do to us,
00:57:43the elites?
00:57:44Infect us with
00:57:44your poor people
00:57:45bad luck?
00:57:46She wishes.
00:57:47She could blame
00:57:48her low status
00:57:48on bad luck.
00:57:50Truth is,
00:57:50she's just a useless,
00:57:52lazy bitchin' bum.
00:57:54She's utterly
00:57:55unmarriable.
00:57:58I can dispose of them
00:58:00in other means
00:58:01if you don't prefer
00:58:02violence.
00:58:02I'd handle them
00:58:04myself,
00:58:04but...
00:58:06I'll let you do
00:58:07all the heavy lifting.
00:58:09Go ahead,
00:58:09Lysander.
00:58:14Lysander.
00:58:17Yes,
00:58:17hello,
00:58:18this is Lysander.
00:58:18Please
00:58:19bankrupt
00:58:20Marissa Wickham
00:58:20for me.
00:58:22Oh my gosh,
00:58:23I'm so scared.
00:58:25Anyone these days
00:58:26could call anyone
00:58:27and pretend
00:58:27to be on the phone.
00:58:35Uh,
00:58:35hello?
00:58:36Yes.
00:58:39What?
00:58:44I'm
00:58:45bankrupt!
00:58:54Hey,
00:58:54hey,
00:58:55hey,
00:58:55are you sure
00:58:56that was the call,
00:58:57Sasa?
00:58:58That was a real call?
00:58:59People don't just
00:59:00suddenly go bankrupt
00:59:00like that.
00:59:01My company's dead!
00:59:02It's evaporated!
00:59:04It's in thin air!
00:59:08That's impossible!
00:59:10Who are you?
00:59:11What did you do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho,
00:59:14you said you're
00:59:15the Secretary of Health,
00:59:16right?
00:59:16And you yourself
00:59:17said that the Armstrong
00:59:18family owns the entire
00:59:19global stock market.
00:59:20Could that be
00:59:21how they
00:59:21bankrupted
00:59:22Miss Wickham?
00:59:23Then that means
00:59:26you're
00:59:27really Lysander Armstrong,
00:59:29the richest
00:59:30and most powerful
00:59:31man
00:59:32in the country.
00:59:33Trixie's married
00:59:34the famed
00:59:35war hero,
00:59:36the man
00:59:37every girl
00:59:37wants
00:59:38and every man
00:59:38wants to be.
00:59:41Now you believe me?
00:59:42Those who do bad
00:59:43will always end up
00:59:44losing everything.
00:59:46There's got to be
00:59:47some trick to this.
00:59:48You guys are just
00:59:49bums trying to extort
00:59:50money from us.
00:59:51It's awesome.
00:59:53It's awesome.
00:59:53It's awesome.
00:59:59I know why you're
01:00:01all over Trixie,
01:00:02because you've been
01:00:03in the military for so
01:00:04long, you don't know
01:00:04what a real woman
01:00:05can do for you.
01:00:07Let me take you
01:00:08to my wedding chamber
01:00:08and I'll show you
01:00:09a good time.
01:00:12Do you have your hands
01:00:13for me or i'll have them removed for you i would never be interested in a woman who's as vile
01:00:23and
01:00:24cruel and wicked as you are guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:31sasa was just trying to save the company i don't blame her at all your double standards are
01:00:36incredible okay you don't want me fine but there's plenty of other efficiency i can give you a room
01:00:43full of pageant winners uh 18 years old fresh for the taking
01:00:53i did that so you wouldn't have to miss trixine thank you devon marissa not only have you backstabbed
01:01:02me your best friend by stealing my fiance but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get
01:01:08your company back you're an insult to all good women out there no to all of humanity so now
01:01:14everything that i've ever given you to i'm taking it all back
01:01:21wait everyone stop
01:01:25they're imposters
01:01:30i just got off the phone with the president she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:34because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself so we won't go bankrupt the goddess healer
01:01:41you mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical
01:01:46products yes that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine the goddess
01:01:52healer's motto is the right rewrites the wrong the left leave the wrong bereft that means she's rewarding
01:02:00me the president would never let your company go bankrupt in fact she's on her way now
01:02:07so you're telling me this dashingly handsome mother over here isn't lysander armstrong who the
01:02:14cares who he is if the president and the goddess healer approves of my products who cares about this
01:02:20washed up war hero we can break his legs break his arms no one would even bat an eye she
01:02:24even gave us
01:02:25explicit permission to call upon secret services fbi fbi you're under arrest for fraudulent claims
01:02:33and identity theft gotcha
01:02:41guess i still get the last laugh tricksy no don't arrest her tricksy is a good person please officer
01:02:49don't arrest her grandma mr rogers mrs williams what are you all doing here the neighbors heard about
01:02:55the breakup between you and butch we were worried so we came here to back you up listen officer i
01:03:02can
01:03:02attest that tricksy amoria it's a good neighbor she's very kind-hearted and would never break the law
01:03:08yes and one time when my daughter needed university tuition tricksy gave her everything she had just to
01:03:14help her out she also paid for my recent heart surgery as well my fiance really is an incredible woman
01:03:28you must be the criminal pretending to be general lysander armstrong my brother is not a criminal
01:03:34he's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack without him this
01:03:39whole country would have been bombed to ash and that's why it's twice the crime is stealing his
01:03:44identity general lysander armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist and we've
01:03:49received no word that he's woken up yet so this must be an imposter i can tell that this whole
01:03:55dilemma
01:03:56with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble i promise that i'll get it resolved and we can
01:04:00focus
01:04:00on taking down your scumbag ex you want to arrest me fine but don't fuck with my fiance you don't
01:04:09get to
01:04:09the side pump let's go
01:04:34get him if you can
01:04:50get him
01:05:04get him
01:05:26Is that enough pain, or do you want more?
01:05:37Legend is written all over you, Leicenander.
01:05:42Grandma, meet my new fiancé.
01:05:48Wow, your new fiancé?
01:05:50He's so manly.
01:05:52Much better than your last one.
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:57It's Butch's loss.
01:05:58Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:06:01She's like a shining star in the sky, and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:07Bitch, we name-calling now?
01:06:09I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, fam?
01:06:12Drown out the poor!
01:06:19See, Trixie?
01:06:21You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:24You can't compete against me even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:28We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:30So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:35Let them eat cake!
01:06:46You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:48Grab what you can, fam.
01:06:49Attack!
01:07:06You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:15What the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:07:18I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:07:28Damn it!
01:07:29Damn it!
01:07:30Damn it!
01:07:31Damn it!
01:07:32You forgot I had a gun too?
01:07:35That'll teach you from messing with the Wickhams.
01:07:37Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:39We're cornered.
01:07:40I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:42Devon, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:45I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:48They will be punished.
01:07:52Now hold still for me.
01:07:57Wright rewrites the world.
01:07:58You're fucked.
01:08:08Holy fuck!
01:08:10Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:11By chanting the Goddess Healer's chant?
01:08:13Is she the Goddess Healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now.
01:08:20Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:22See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:25No, please.
01:08:26I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:28Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:30Sure.
01:08:32You hear that?
01:08:33She's just some average homeless girl in the streets.
01:08:36She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:39While I do not care for glory,
01:08:41I do believe in justice.
01:08:43Marissa and Butch,
01:08:44not only have you betrayed me,
01:08:46but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:08:48I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:51And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:53God?
01:08:54Wrong.
01:08:56But you're close.
01:08:58I'm bullshit.
01:08:59I'm gonna show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:09:04You wanna cross the line so bad?
01:09:06Then let's see you try.
01:09:07Charge!
01:09:17The hell is this?
01:09:19This is the line between life and death.
01:09:23Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:30Yeah.
01:09:31You're not the grim reaper.
01:09:33What if it's a trap?
01:09:34That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:36We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:37She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:40Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:43I will.
01:09:46Left leaves the wrong route.
01:09:50Left leaves the wrong route.
01:09:56I'm fine.
01:09:57Nothing happened.
01:09:58You'll see soon enough.
01:10:00Oh please, I really wanna die.
01:10:02And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:07Whoops!
01:10:08Just crossed it again.
01:10:10Whoops!
01:10:10And again.
01:10:12Nothing's happening-
01:10:14Stop!
01:10:15Stop!
01:10:17Stop!
01:10:20Stop!
01:10:24No!
01:10:25No!
01:10:26Hey.
01:10:27What did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything.
01:10:31Your brother just didn't wanna heed my warning.
01:10:34I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:36If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:39Come on.
01:10:41Major.
01:10:41Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:10:43How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:45See, this must be an illusion!
01:10:50Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:53Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please!
01:11:02You're so sore I wouldn't marry you if you'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:05Oh, please.
01:11:06You hurt us first.
01:11:08At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:11But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:16Marissa, thanks for taking this low life from me.
01:11:20You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:23You think anyone would wanna marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:28When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34Don't touch my wife.
01:11:38And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:43You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:45But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:49That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:52Oh, really?
01:11:54Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:57You've got nothing on me.
01:12:02Yes.
01:12:03Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:10Goddess.
01:12:11Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:14Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:19Get the VP. We're leaving now.
01:12:24Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:34You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:36A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:39Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:43Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:47You hear that, everyone?
01:12:48There is no way low life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:54She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:13:00No, my granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:03Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:13:08Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:17Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong, and now you, Trixie, are
01:13:24pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:28Is this how the working class think all the time? I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:34You can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:40Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie? It ain't
01:13:45working. You can't just fake the...
01:13:50Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary. It's like real magic.
01:13:55Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:14:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08No.
01:14:09Trixie, look, I believe you. You saved me. Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:17No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:21We'll riot against you now.
01:14:23Tear her apart! Tear her apart! Tear her apart! Tear her apart! Tear her apart! Tear her apart! Tear her
01:14:31apart!
01:14:31The Vice President arrives!
01:14:47who dare cause ruckus in here
01:14:53your general lysander armstrong wait what he's actually general lysander armstrong no no
01:15:02we've been through this already once okay right secretary chill this actor trixie hired pulled
01:15:09this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me but you already confirmed with madame president that i
01:15:14got the contract coming still right yes we all thought he was a fraud what i mean is
01:15:20you're the war hero general lysander armstrong and how dare you crash miss wickham's wedding
01:15:27the moment you wake up you fall under this vixen spell and now you're attacking one of the most
01:15:33important allies to the president he is the general oh but he's in trouble now did you hear that even
01:15:41the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader so what if trixie picked up
01:15:46some washed up war hero we got the vp and the president on our side you'll always be nothing
01:15:54trixie i told you now punish them vice president langley this is treason lysander armstrong you are
01:16:01stripped from your military honors and titles
01:16:08hurry the goddess healer needs us
01:16:13you can't do that mr vice president my brother is a war hero he single-handedly saved this country
01:16:19from terrorist attack he was in a coma for two years if it wasn't for miss trixie he would
01:16:23enough you speak another word and i will bring down your entire family not just your brother
01:16:31it's okay mr vice president i've already given my life once for my country
01:16:36i have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life
01:16:41and let's be honest about one other thing mr vice president i never gave a
01:16:44buck about any damn titles i truly saved a good man
01:16:56i will not let you bring ruin to my fiance
01:16:59and what can you do about it oh mr vice president i have swell idea my biomedical company invented the
01:17:05latest line of poison darts for the military let's try it out on them
01:17:12hold on mr vice president there's no way that you're taking this seriously put innocent civilian
01:17:16lives in danger despicable what's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting
01:17:23power miss wickham you can use full force on them did you hear that boys
01:17:32oh
01:17:42shoot wait that's the president
01:17:56oh
01:18:05oh my gosh i i'm so sorry madam president
01:18:09that was they were totally aiming for uh tricksy the the fraud in the middle what is this oh that's
01:18:16my new biomedical weapon madam for your military this is a war crime these are innocent civilian lives
01:18:22you're messing with you're the uncivilized buffoon i can shoot whoever i want i have the presidential
01:18:27contract with great power comes great responsibility and this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made
01:18:33with the contract i gave you what are you doing reverse the poison and take it out of the president
01:18:38reports too late that is easy there's no need i'll save everyone
01:18:57it's raining gold what's happening trixie doesn't have that kind of money it's got to be cheap glitter
01:19:08she she she is uh she's a criminal don't worry madam president we will arrest her and we'll throw
01:19:14her in prison i'd be quiet if i were you because you're the one that would be going to prison
01:19:18once
01:19:19everyone is healed up what are you talking about the president literally came here to give me my billion
01:19:24dollar contract this contract this contract yeah yes thank you first gentlemen
01:19:57my contract you and that's not all
01:20:12this foul weapon will not see the light of day there is only a need for a vaccine if there
01:20:17is a virus
01:20:18don't you realize or are you too much of a goody two shoes to understand that you're the real virus
01:20:24here marissa money is worth more to you than human lives and that's something i cannot tolerate so
01:20:31prepare yourself because i'm about to smite you what are you gonna do the president is here and i just
01:20:40invented the best biomedical products in the world you'll pardon me for that little mishap right
01:20:47madam president you've recovered now so what's your final decision
01:20:54i'll she's gonna give me my billion dollar
01:21:02i'll smack her until she sees 50 stars
01:21:08why why are you attacking me madam president you're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar
01:21:14you wish you idiot
01:21:18i've never seen a woman so vile so ugly on the inside it makes me want to vomit
01:21:23i i i don't understand i was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing
01:21:30and do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth
01:21:36you've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh the one and only and it's
01:21:46her
01:21:58what
01:22:03welcome goddess
01:22:10Yes.
01:22:11Uh, we, uh...
01:22:15You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:18How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:21Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:25I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:28To help those in need.
01:22:30And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:33No, so that means the billion dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39She took it away just like that.
01:22:42That was her golden ticket.
01:22:44You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:22:47But after everything you've done, we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:51No, please, I swear. I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is. Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:00She's an amazing person.
01:23:02And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:05She's gonna be my wife.
01:23:07Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:15I love you.
01:23:17still here.
01:23:30All her gold.
01:23:31All her clothes.
01:23:33All that could have been mine.
01:23:35This is all your fault.
01:23:37Please seduce me!
01:23:39Don't pop me!
01:23:40You were the one that came onto me, you himbo!
01:23:44Please, Trixie, give me another chance!
01:23:47I want to be rich again!
01:23:49I'll be your slave.
01:23:51Kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize, but it's too late now.
01:23:57All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:01You two should be locked up.
01:24:03And she shall.
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:24:08arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:11It's all your fault, Marissa. I never loved you.
01:24:14It's your fault!
01:24:15I was only with you for your money.
01:24:17I didn't care.
01:24:18You were rich.
01:24:19I'll see myself now.
01:24:22Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:24We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness just like you.
01:24:31I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:33That is why I saved you.
01:24:35With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:41Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:46Let's party!
01:24:48Wait.
01:24:49What if we just got married?
01:24:51Right now?
01:24:52Yes.
01:24:52Well.
01:24:54Woo!
01:24:56Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do.
01:25:02I do.
01:25:03You may kiss the bride.
01:25:08Bye.
01:25:08Got her.
01:25:09God, babe.
01:25:10Got her.
01:25:10Ho, God!
01:25:11Bye, bud.
01:25:12Holly's been asking for your last round.
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