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00:00Did you see the light, the police light, going, Mary?
00:03Do you know where the binoculars are?
00:05I'm going to get in the car and take a closer look.
00:07Oh, you're such an awful ghoul.
00:08Sorry, Mary, it's not a...
00:09You're like an onlooker at a motorway crash.
00:12Sorry, it's not every day you've got police rummaging through ex-politician's drawers.
00:20No!
00:22What an entrance!
00:24I'm living for this!
00:25Taser in!
00:26We had a lot of talk like this all the time.
00:28I don't think so.
00:29Yay!
00:30Oh, here we go.
00:31What is that?
00:32Oh, shut up.
00:34This doesn't look real.
00:35I don't think it is.
00:36A framboisier.
00:37What's a framboisier?
00:39Oh, I knew it!
00:40No!
00:41This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
00:42It does?
00:42Why is it dodgy?
00:43This is going to go down so badly.
00:46None of us learn, do we?
00:49I hate you!
00:51Must remember that, bellend.
00:52This is what everyone came for.
00:55The alarm bells are ringing with me, Mary.
00:57Lisa nipples are covered.
00:58Yeah, it's half the battle.
01:00In the week we bid a fond farewell to Dawson's Creek legend, James Van Der Beek, we enjoyed lots of
01:07great telly.
01:09The flirting in fancy dress continued on Netflix.
01:13Are you in need of assistance?
01:14It is a slippery little thing and I cannot find my valet.
01:16May I?
01:29You chased me pretty hard.
01:31Let's face it, darling.
01:32You flew the whole way to Mexico.
01:34You didn't really know me that well.
01:36That was...
01:37I was your Cinderella, wasn't I?
01:39I mean...
01:40I mean, I'm not the best example of Cinderella.
01:44Slightly bigger shoe.
01:46There is an argument that maybe that is the case.
01:49There is an argument.
01:50Look, you're flushing, darling.
01:54Guy Martin had all his tools out on Channel 4.
01:58Revealing where the leaks are requires a smoke gun.
02:04And you can see the smoke on the outside.
02:06Look at that.
02:07That's mad to look, yeah.
02:08There's some middle-aged men out there watching this and absolutely loving it.
02:15They've ordered a smoke gun off Amazon.
02:17They're going round every single window.
02:20They've got the smart meter in hand.
02:21And they're in their element.
02:24It is a very middle-aged man programme, this, isn't it?
02:26Yeah, getting aggy about the heating bill.
02:28That's what happens when you're a man over 35.
02:32And it was touch and go for the PM on BBC News.
02:35The Prime Minister has just arrived in Parliament
02:39to address his backbench MPs after a febrile day
02:43which saw the leader of the Scottish Labour Party call for him to resign.
02:46Do you know what the Prime Ministership reminds me of?
02:50Like the Manchester United manager, you know,
02:53you have a streak of bad games, you get canned.
02:56Yeah.
02:56That's how it goes.
02:58We're searching for our Alex Ferguson.
03:00Yeah.
03:07In North London...
03:09Amira, what the hell are you doing right now?
03:12Huh?
03:12Are you being serious?
03:13What are you doing?
03:14Sisters Amira and Amani.
03:17I'm growing out hairs, man.
03:19I need to take care of it.
03:20I'm in between appointments right now.
03:23So I have to do something about it.
03:26I can actually see your hair from over here.
03:28No, don't, Amani, please.
03:31I'm already self-conscious about it.
03:32I can see the shadow of you.
03:35On Tuesday night,
03:37a bunch of strangers began a big climb up a mountain on ITV1.
03:41I'm going to sneeze.
03:44God bless you.
03:51I've climbed something before.
03:53I can't even remember what it's called,
03:55but I wasn't prepared for that.
03:56All I had in the backpack for myself was the Galaxy Ribble.
04:00Fourteen ordinary Brits.
04:02Hey, don't ask that please.
04:03Let's go.
04:04Who have never climbed a mountain before.
04:06Oh, never done it.
04:08So they're not even experienced at it.
04:10No.
04:10Who's got what it takes...
04:12Oh, I can't move.
04:14Come on.
04:15...to reach the summit.
04:17How did Taril?
04:19Where's Taril?
04:19It's Somerset.
04:21What mountains have you climbed?
04:22I mean, I've done no...
04:23I haven't admittedly climbed any mountains.
04:25I did trek a very long way in Peru at a high altitude.
04:28You went on the train with your mother.
04:33The summit.
04:35There must be summits wrong with you if you bloody go on this.
04:39How high is Troy Hill?
04:42Troy Hill is five feet ten inches.
04:45What?
04:46That's the wrong hill.
04:48That's the wrong hill.
04:50Welcome, everyone.
04:52Your goal is to reach the summit of that mountain behind me.
04:58Woo!
04:59Right, hang on.
04:59Are they going to make them climb that?
05:02You've got a deadline of just 14 days to reach the top.
05:07No, count me out.
05:08And as it gets higher up, you get poolier and poolier, because you can't breathe, because
05:12you're closer to the sun.
05:13Morning, everyone!
05:16How do we all sleep?
05:17After camping out, the group were preparing for another day of hiking.
05:22Is there a glove out here anywhere?
05:24One of my gloves has randomly gone missing.
05:25One of my gloves has randomly gone missing.
05:27Aki, you've lost it.
05:29Dockers!
05:29Oh, no!
05:30Dockers, is that yours?
05:32Oh, God, that's...
05:33Where was that?
05:35Literally on the fire.
05:36What?
05:37Who's put the glove on the fire?
05:38Isn't that worse when your glove gets put on the fire?
05:40I didn't have any gloves out here last night.
05:43Yeah, you did.
05:44You had both pairs of gloves out.
05:45Oh, here we go, here we go.
05:47It's started.
05:47Tension is rising in the camp, Mary.
05:50Well, when people are tired and hungry and probably haven't been able to go to the loo,
05:54and their clothes are chafing...
05:56I didn't have any gloves.
05:57Out here last night.
05:59Pretty sure you did.
06:00You're calling me a liar now, yeah?
06:02Straight away he gets confrontational.
06:04Are you calling me a liar?
06:06The gloves are off now, Julie.
06:08I'm not saying you're a liar.
06:10I think Dockers seems to be a bit of a hothead.
06:12You've got to watch out for him.
06:13Put a sock in it, Dockers.
06:15His game plan is try and be the alpha, be the big dog.
06:18I don't need that.
06:20No, you're right.
06:21No one does need that.
06:22Thomas is very good at reading people.
06:24Oh, yeah.
06:24Well, if I was Dockers, I'd be curving that attitude.
06:28Right then, guys.
06:29So I think what we should do is kind of head towards the mountain.
06:33That's good strategy, that is.
06:35What we should do is just kind of head towards the top of the mountain.
06:38Who's with me?
06:39Every time Tom speaks, it goes through my veins.
06:42It makes me cringe.
06:44He is the most annoying creature I've ever met.
06:47Oh, creature?
06:48Dockers, wow.
06:50This is going to be a long 14 days.
06:52Goodness me.
06:53I can tell you, look, they're struggling already.
06:55A bit later, with the team making their way across a rickety old bridge.
06:59Nice and steady.
07:03Oh, bloody hell.
07:04It's wonky as hell.
07:06Oh, no.
07:06That's the thing of your nightmares, that, isn't it?
07:08Yeah, that's what my nightmares are made of.
07:10There was a twist in the tale.
07:12Your first decision as a group has come sooner than you think.
07:15What could this be?
07:16You must choose someone to be the last to cross.
07:18No.
07:19When that person's on the bridge, you must take the axe and cut the rope.
07:23They've got to eliminate somebody.
07:25Guys, I think there's only one person.
07:28No!
07:28He's going to say Tom.
07:30Tom.
07:31Tom.
07:32Oh!
07:34He hates Tom, doesn't he?
07:35This morning, he called me a liar.
07:37He's got to go.
07:38This morning, he called me a liar.
07:39He called me a liar.
07:41And I think he burnt my glove.
07:43Go on, Tom, you've got this.
07:49This is awful.
07:50It's not nice.
07:52It's not nice, is it?
07:54Right, down, down.
07:57Oh, my God.
07:58Oh, the axe is coming out.
08:03Oh, no!
08:08You're joking!
08:10That's fucking ruthless.
08:12Tom kept trying to be an alpha male.
08:13He kept challenging me.
08:15And he had to go.
08:17And I'm the one that has made that happen.
08:20Gee, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
08:22I suppose one good thing about being in a gay relationship,
08:24there's not much toxic masculinity here.
08:27Zero toxic masculinity going on in this house.
08:31Oh, my God.
08:34In Leeds.
08:35Izzy, I've done something today that I've been meaning to do for six months.
08:40What?
08:41I've washed my mucky shoes.
08:43What?
08:43Them ones under the caravan?
08:45Them ones that were under the caravan, yeah.
08:47No.
08:48And do you know all I did?
08:49What?
08:49I just put them in a washing machine.
08:52Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:54I thought, I'll break my washing machine rather than wash them by hand.
08:59That is literally you.
09:01Nat gets fuming with me over what I put in a washing machine.
09:04Well, yeah, you were telling me about them chicken mats
09:07that you actually really nearly did break your washing machine.
09:09Is he still going on about that?
09:12It's a stones and straw riddened mats and you put them in a washing machine.
09:17I've opened your dishwasher and found a pair of sliders before.
09:22Work's smarter, not harder, Izzy.
09:25On Tuesday night, problematic pooches were being put right on Channel 5.
09:31Who's a clever sausage?
09:33Oh, please.
09:35Did you hear that?
09:37I'm scared that it's going to come for me.
09:39No!
09:41I don't believe in wrapping up dogs in clothes.
09:45Mind you, I saw some dogs the other day walking along the street
09:49and they had full baby grows down all their arms
09:52and I thought actually that was quite clever because the slops were getting muddy.
09:55Oh, bollocks.
10:00Dad and Joe, I want to go on this with Dudley and Frank, don't they?
10:03They'd do the parallel bastards.
10:06Graham's next job takes him north to Derby.
10:09Oh God, annoying dogs in Derby.
10:10They're not coming to my house, are they?
10:12To meet a labradoodle who's quite the handful.
10:15We love a labradoodle.
10:17Such nice dogs.
10:18Well, obviously, because we have a doodle.
10:20Well, apparently one of the most common accidents in Scotland
10:24is labradors knocking small children off bridges.
10:27Oh, for heaven's sake.
10:28I promise you, if you look it up, it is a problem.
10:31Bridges?
10:32Hmm.
10:33Little foot bridges.
10:34Oh.
10:36What, into rivers?
10:37Yes.
10:37Oh, hello.
10:38Hello, are you going?
10:39Nice to meet you.
10:40You all right?
10:40Come on in.
10:41Hello, you're Rupert, are you?
10:42You're lively.
10:43Come on, in you go.
10:44Oh, jumping up.
10:44Right, that's what I was doing.
10:46Oh, gosh, very friendly.
10:47He's a lovely lad compared to some other dogs I see.
10:50He's amazing.
10:51He's the best family dog that you could wish for.
10:53What's up with him, then?
10:54What's up with him, then?
10:56What is the problem, then, if he's so perfect?
10:58The problem, apparently, is when I leave the house.
11:02Oh, really?
11:03It turns into a completely different dog.
11:05What does he do?
11:05What does he do, like?
11:06I wonder if the dog thinks I'm the man of the house now.
11:09Yeah.
11:10From the moment his master's back is turned...
11:13See you later, kids.
11:14See you later, Bob.
11:15Bye.
11:17What is he going to do?
11:18Oh, God, I'm scared.
11:19I can't wait to see this.
11:20Rupert has one thing on his mind.
11:24A leg over with the lady of the house.
11:28Oh, my God.
11:30Oh, God!
11:32He fancies his owner's wife.
11:35A pickle still does that on my foot.
11:38This loved-up Labradoodle wants time alone with Bobby.
11:42Get down!
11:43Fucking hell.
11:45In the kitchen...
11:46Rupert!
11:47Rupert, man!
11:48Get down, Rupert!
11:51In the bedroom.
11:54Oh, no, no, no.
11:57Pas devant les enfants.
11:58Pas devant les enfants.
12:00On the couch.
12:02Oh, my God, he does not stop.
12:05But what would happen if she let him carry on?
12:08I mean, do you know what I mean?
12:09Would he eventually...
12:10No, don't go there, Mary.
12:12I'm going to have to ask you to leave your own house,
12:14Alice, so I can see the problem.
12:15But is he going to do it if Graham's there?
12:17Bye.
12:20There you go.
12:21Get down.
12:22Blimey, aren't I?
12:23Get down.
12:23Not even a second!
12:24Straight away!
12:25The kids just don't even notice anymore.
12:27They don't even care anymore.
12:28Mum's being humped by the dog.
12:29That's normal.
12:31So, as soon as Rupert starts to jump up,
12:33we're going to lead him outside.
12:36And we're going to throw a command in there as well.
12:38Right, game over.
12:39Game over.
12:40I'm going to remember that with you.
12:42Game over.
12:43But how will Rupert react to some tough love?
12:48Oh.
12:49OK, right, put him outside.
12:50Go on.
12:51Ray, get out!
12:52Are you sure?
12:53It's like you were a dog.
12:54Well, no, he'd get on my tits.
12:56Game over.
12:57That's it.
12:58Lead him out best you can.
12:59Come on.
13:01Drag him out.
13:02Lead him out whilst he's humping you.
13:04Yeah.
13:05Out!
13:05That's it.
13:08Good, y'all.
13:10There you go.
13:11Weren't how many times they have to do that
13:13before he gets the message?
13:15Go on, try again.
13:17Straight at him.
13:18Game over.
13:20Straight back?
13:21It's like, oh, baby, I missed you.
13:26There you are, darling.
13:28I'm sorry.
13:31He's processing right now.
13:33Yeah.
13:33Something has changed.
13:35He is thinking about it.
13:37The dog, you can see.
13:38Come on, young man.
13:39Try again.
13:41Oh, good boy.
13:42Yeah, hello.
13:44Oh, look, see, see, see?
13:46Oh!
13:47He stopped!
13:48Oh, that's worth a treat.
13:50Good boy.
13:51Good boy.
13:53Well, that did take very long, did it?
13:55He hadn't done it.
13:55All that time it's been...
13:57He's going to be in fucking twice outside.
13:58Perhaps I'll stop putting you out into the garden
14:01when you're annoying.
14:02But I like going into the garden, Mary.
14:04Yeah, it would backfire.
14:05Your best punishment would be to stop me going into the garden
14:08saying, do this paperwork.
14:20What am I expecting for Valentine's Day?
14:23So, a bunch of flowers, a card and some chocolates and you're good in it.
14:26And maybe breakfast in bed, two fried dumplings and an egg.
14:29Sarah, her husband, Andre, and their daughter, Shay.
14:34Two fried dumplings and an egg.
14:36How romantic.
14:37I'm surprised you didn't say I had some sausage.
14:40I'm surprised you didn't say that.
14:42No, that's for dinner, man.
14:43That's it.
14:43You can't be having that for breakfast.
14:46Oh, where are you going?
14:47Where are you going?
14:48I meant sausages, like square sausages.
14:52Just behave.
14:54Both of you, just behave.
14:56All right?
14:57On Saturday night, there was more sweaty spandex on BBC One.
15:03With this drink, I'm in Hawaii.
15:05If I was a gladiator, my name would be Chafe.
15:09Chafe?
15:10Yeah.
15:10Because wearing that lycra, man, they've got to chafe, isn't it?
15:13They've got to.
15:13You were a gladiator.
15:17I always think I'm not competitive.
15:22But sometimes I get very interested in gladiators.
15:25You do, aren't you?
15:25More competitive than you think.
15:28Well, there was that time when I won a whole lot of table tennis matches
15:32and I became really unpleasant, gloating.
15:34Yes.
15:35Please welcome Sean and Hindley!
15:43This is a bit of a mismatch, isn't it?
15:45They compete against each other.
15:47He's got an head stat.
15:48Well, he's got an head and shoulders stat, hasn't he?
15:51A brand new event featuring the highest free fall ever on gladiators.
15:57Oh, no.
15:58No, hell no.
15:59I ain't doing that.
16:00I ain't doing that.
16:01Nobody's going to push me off a ledge.
16:03Contender and gladiator must push a 220 kilogram sliding wall.
16:08Imagine, like, someone like Hindley against Diane pushing that wall.
16:12Well, the smaller one will definitely lose, Hindley.
16:15This is where size and weight matter.
16:19When the siren sounds, the platform tilts.
16:21Oh, it tilts!
16:22Oh, my God.
16:24First giving the contender the advantage before shifting in favour of the gladiator.
16:30Yeah, so you get a tilt on your side first.
16:32Yeah.
16:32If you miss that opportunity, you're done.
16:34Well, 100%.
16:36Three, two, one.
16:40Whoa.
16:41Okay, now he's run straight into it.
16:43Right into the screen and look at Hammer already driving.
16:46Come on, Sean.
16:47Push back.
16:48Push back, Sean.
16:49We need a tilt.
16:50Tilt it.
16:51Come on, tilt.
16:51We need a tilt.
16:52We need a tilt.
16:52Hammer is trying his best to shove him off the end before that happens.
16:57But here we go.
16:58Here we go.
16:59Yeah, it's still good.
17:00And this is where Sean might be able to gain some ground and push that screen back.
17:05Can you hear Sean?
17:10Because here we go.
17:11The tilt goes the other way.
17:13Hammer is tilting.
17:14Oh, it's tilting.
17:15But yeah, he's done.
17:15Bye, Sean.
17:17And it will be time for Hammer to finish the job.
17:22Oh, Sean.
17:24Hammer absolutely hammered him.
17:26Yeah.
17:27It's Hindley.
17:30No way Hindley's going to make any progress up there.
17:34So do you think being shorter, he might have a lower sense of gravity, he could be good at this?
17:38It sounds good, Simon, but I doubt it.
17:43Viper gives it the rah.
17:45Oh, bloody hell.
17:47They're a bit aggressive.
17:48Ezra had butted me this morning.
17:50I know.
17:51Oh, he's up against that nasty bugger.
17:53He's a nasty one he is, Viper.
17:55Two, one.
17:58Here comes the tilt.
18:00Hold your ground now, Sean.
18:01Come on, Pat.
18:02You got him.
18:02Hindley straight away using his lower centre of gravity.
18:06Lower centre of gravity.
18:07Go on, get a bit of momentum going.
18:09Here comes the tilt.
18:11And look at Viper going.
18:12Oh, come on.
18:13Yes.
18:14Oh, my God.
18:14Get him off.
18:15Come on, Hindley.
18:16He's moving him.
18:17Yeah, man.
18:18He's moving him.
18:18He's sliding towards oblivion here.
18:20Yes, Hindley.
18:22There we go.
18:23Go on, Hindley.
18:25It's going to be a win for Hindley.
18:30No way.
18:31Bye, bye, Viper.
18:32Come on.
18:33Bye, bye, Viper.
18:34You're gone.
18:36Yes, Hindley.
18:37I think we've learned something, haven't we, today?
18:40Go on, then.
18:42Because I think I know where you're coming from.
18:44Yeah, man.
18:45I'm ready for some press-ups now, some burpees, some star jumps.
18:49Dad, you're chatting a load of nonsense.
18:51What do you mean I'm chatting a load of nonsense?
18:53Listen, before you were born, you know, I was in the gym every day.
18:55So what happened to now?
18:56When you came along, that was it.
18:58My life turned upside down.
19:00Well, I'm 26 now, so what's your excuse?
19:02Well, 26 years.
19:04It's taken me 26 years to get over this initial shock of when you were born.
19:09Oh, my God.
19:12In the Cotswolds.
19:14Perkins.
19:14Perkins.
19:15Where's my baby?
19:16Come here.
19:18I've got your present.
19:19You chose this.
19:20Show him his present.
19:21Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
19:23What did you choose?
19:25Look, it's called Donald Grump.
19:28Do you think he's a Trump-liker?
19:29Well, I don't know.
19:30No, please.
19:31I don't know if he likes it or...
19:32Hopefully, he'll eat it.
19:35He chose it in the shop.
19:36I turned around, it was in his mouth.
19:38So I had to buy it.
19:39Perkins, do you have no taste?
19:41He's obsessed.
19:42Or maybe it's because he wants to attack it.
19:44I think so.
19:47Well done, Perkins.
19:47You can have a little treat as well.
19:49It looks a bit like you, actually.
19:50It does not look like me.
19:51Ridiculous.
19:53This week, Benedict was still on the hunt for his missing Cinderella on Netflix.
19:58Do you know what?
19:59I'm not into oldy-worldy shite.
20:00But I do like a bit of Bridgerton now.
20:02Well, it's oldy-worldy shite with a twist of new, isn't it?
20:05Bit of muck.
20:06Yeah.
20:06I think that is why I like it, because it has got that nice tingy muck running through it.
20:10Yeah.
20:11Remove my britches.
20:12Expose your loins.
20:13I like that.
20:17Ooh, Bridgerton.
20:21At the minute, Benedict is actually falling in love with Sophie, the maid, but he's still
20:27not realised that she was actually the woman in silver when there was the ball.
20:32Quite dashing, brother.
20:33Oh, good evening, Sophie.
20:35Mr Bridgerton.
20:36That's her.
20:37Well, there she is.
20:37This is her.
20:38Now, won't you think?
20:39Ooh.
20:40You look better in silver, love.
20:42Yeah.
20:42No, you see, he's not taking much notice, I don't think.
20:44No, no.
20:45No.
20:47How are you finding your position?
20:49My sisters are not wearing you out, are they?
20:51You'd like to wear her out, wouldn't they?
20:54Theresa.
20:55Oh, I find them to be intellectually surprising.
20:58Even her voice.
20:59She spoke to her.
21:00Yeah, she spoke to her.
21:01You think?
21:05Are you in need of assistance?
21:07Oh, I beg your pardon?
21:08It is a slippery little thing and I cannot find my wallet.
21:10May I?
21:11May I?
21:12May I?
21:13May you?
21:14I think this is a bit inappropriate, isn't it?
21:18Look, look at her gazing up at him.
21:20I'd laugh if someone was looking at me like that.
21:22I actually would just say, what are you looking at?
21:24You fucking creep.
21:27There you are.
21:30Thank you, Sophie.
21:32Oh, shit.
21:33I thought they were going to kiss then.
21:34Oh, he is absolutely smitten with that girl.
21:39A bit later, Benedict's mum thought she'd found the mystery lady
21:43and arranged a tea party.
21:45And did you grow up in the countryside?
21:47We live between the two.
21:49I live from the...
21:51I live from the...
21:51I live from the...
21:52I live from the...
21:52I live from the fresh air in my...
21:53He's looking at the mouth.
21:54The mouth will give it away because they had a little...
21:58All right.
21:59I think you could tell someone for your mouth.
22:03It's quite a fun idea, a mask grade ball.
22:05I mean, you could tell me by my mouth.
22:07I've got mean little lips.
22:10He says it is wonderful.
22:12Here she comes!
22:13Here she is!
22:14It's the only time I've ever seen a Sophie making a tea.
22:21Oh, she's clopped the bird.
22:23And who's this fucker?
22:24She's not happy.
22:25His face is dropped.
22:25He now feels awkward.
22:27We're all bloody awkward.
22:28Such a beautiful home.
22:29It has always been the dream of mine to visit Bridget and Hust.
22:32Surely you were here for the masquerade ball.
22:34Oh, yes, I was planning to attend, but sadly I fell ill and could not.
22:38Oh, lordy me.
22:41She weren't there.
22:43It's not her from the masquerade ball.
22:46Confirmation, it's not her.
22:48Perhaps with all the disguises, I was thought to have been there.
22:50I've said a lot of time if you asked that question at the beginning.
22:52Absolutely.
22:53Did you come to the ball?
22:54No, bye.
22:58Oh, no, it's all the staff going out for a drink.
23:01Staff goes out.
23:02Oh, I have left my coin pass in my room.
23:05Aye.
23:05I know somebody else still forgets the coin pass when you go.
23:08Yeah, don't you?
23:11Oh, here we go.
23:13Oof, like that.
23:14They're going to come face to face.
23:21Oh, there you go.
23:23I thought you...
23:26Is this a lunge-worthy moment, Mary?
23:28Yes, it is.
23:30Oh, here we go.
23:32Scandalous, Mary.
23:35What?
23:37Oh, my God, where is he going?
23:38I mean, I'm sorry.
23:41Oh.
23:43Oh, don't be silly.
23:44Not up against the wall in the house.
23:48She can't get her bloopers down quick enough.
23:57What a chance.
24:01Oh!
24:02Oh, my Lord!
24:05Oh, my Lord!
24:07Oh, my Lord!
24:11Oh!
24:15Are you?
24:16Oh, no, it's a bit much for me.
24:18It's actually too large.
24:18Have you ever done out like that?
24:20Well, I absolutely knew what they had.
24:26She's definitely thinking no one's going to fucking believe this in the morning.
24:29I got a finger off Mr. Bridget.
24:31When I search for you and everyone I enter, my heart beats when you're near.
24:36This is everything Sophie wants to hear.
24:37Look at her face.
24:38This is leading up to the L word, isn't it?
24:41You get the feeling it is?
24:42Sophie.
24:43Will you marry me?
24:50Be my mistress.
24:54I beg your pardon.
24:55What?
24:58Sophie, be my mistress.
25:01Fuck off.
25:02Why? What's the problem?
25:03Mistress.
25:04What's the problem with that?
25:05Just someone that you have sex with.
25:07Mistress?
25:08Yeah.
25:08Be his mistress.
25:09When you fill in a form, that's an option.
25:11Miss.
25:12No, and mistress.
25:14Are you coming, Sophie?
25:16We waited for you.
25:23Ah, not gone down well.
25:26Surprise.
25:26That'll be a no from me.
25:28Good girl.
25:29Good girl doesn't even give him an answer.
25:31If he'd have asked me to be his mistress in that scenario, I'd have need him in the bollocks,
25:37grabbed me coin purse, gone straight to tavern and snogged somebody else to make him jealous.
25:43I'd have gave him mistress.
25:54God, I've got a tickly cough and you gave me this cough.
25:58Best friends Danielle and Daniella.
26:01I need you to stop blaming me for everything today.
26:04That's what I need you to do.
26:05Because I, it's that time of the month for me, I will bite your head off.
26:09Oh, we've not synced, have we?
26:11Uh-huh.
26:12Yeah.
26:13Oh, let's go.
26:14Do you know what?
26:14There's only one way we can sort it out.
26:16Come on.
26:17Put on what's green.
26:19Listen.
26:24On Saturday night, BBC One was going big again.
26:28What the bloody hell is this?
26:30Juice?
26:31Yeah.
26:31Where's wine?
26:32It's Saturday night.
26:33I'm not opening one of my nice bottles just for you.
26:36Charming.
26:38Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
26:42And welcome to my big show.
26:48He's funny just to look at, isn't he?
26:51Do you know what?
26:52When I was a kid, pranks would be like pulling somebody's trousers down.
26:55Yeah.
26:55Something like that.
26:56Can't get away with it these days.
26:57You can't do it now.
26:58You know, gone are the days.
27:00Gone are the days you can keg someone.
27:01Tonight we are surprising the amazing Westlife.
27:08Wee!
27:09I see them down the O2.
27:11You raised me up.
27:13I knew you were going to sing that song.
27:15So I can stand the mountains.
27:18Is there anybody who's never heard of Westlife?
27:21Is there...
27:24Of course I've heard of Westlife.
27:25Have you heard of them?
27:26I know Westlife, boys own, take that.
27:29Genuinely not heard of Westlife?
27:31Okay.
27:32How old are you?
27:3416.
27:3416.
27:35Well, I wouldn't have heard of him how long ago, was it?
27:38Oh, hiya, boys.
27:39In on the joke was Alex Jones, who was hosting a fake chat show backstage.
27:45Every week, okay, we give one lucky viewer a chance to meet their heroes.
27:49And my next guest might just be Westlife's number one fan.
27:53Oh.
27:54It's that 16-year-old lad.
27:56He's never even heard of him.
27:57Please welcome Roman.
28:06Not the T-shirt.
28:07I love the T-shirt.
28:09Isn't it great?
28:11They're probably thinking, nah, he's way too young to be our fan.
28:14I mean, I'm a bit nervous because I'm a big fan of Westlife.
28:17Do you feel the same?
28:18Yeah, I love them.
28:18Yeah.
28:19All right, Roman.
28:20Gave him up after immediately.
28:22Did your parents introduce you to Westlife?
28:25My dad used to listen to them, like, a lot.
28:26Yeah.
28:27Who was your dad's favourite?
28:29Which one of the boys?
28:30The Irish one.
28:31Yeah.
28:34I remember...
28:35I think it was you.
28:36I think it was you.
28:37I think it was you.
28:39I don't know his name.
28:41It was you.
28:42It's Brian McFarland.
28:44I tell you what, is there anything?
28:45The floor is yours.
28:46What do you want to ask the boys?
28:48What's he going to ask them?
28:49Okay.
28:50Do you shave your chest hair?
28:52LAUGHTER
28:57It's hard, isn't it?
28:58What age?
28:58Can I have a hug?
28:59Oh, I'm 16.
29:00He's embracing it now.
29:01He is.
29:02He's getting right into character.
29:03You're 16.
29:04Have a hug.
29:07Oh, he's so much taller than them.
29:09That's a big hug.
29:12I bet they've gone through that door and gone, like, out to each other.
29:15What the hell just happened by there?
29:17I know.
29:17Huh?
29:18What are we doing here?
29:19All right, I'll be in two seconds.
29:21A wall is going to collapse.
29:23Is that right, Mary?
29:24Yes.
29:24So, yeah, coming to you, Mary.
29:27Oh!
29:28Oh, here it goes!
29:30CHEERING
29:32Look at the faces!
29:34LAUGHTER
29:35LAUGHTER
29:38LAUGHTER
29:39LAUGHTER
29:39Michael McIntyre's getting battered back stage.
29:41Yeah.
29:44You fucking...
29:45LAUGHTER
29:48LAUGHTER
29:50Uptown girl, everyone knows this is an absolute bot.
29:53There's all the Uptown girls in the house!
29:56Oh, he's loving it!
29:58There's one here!
29:59There's one here!
30:00Uptown girl
30:02She's been living in an Uptown world
30:05I bet she never had a bad freak time
30:09I bet her mother never told her why
30:14You have to do it in time.
30:15Yeah, I am in time, you're out of time.
30:19MUSIC PLAYS
30:20Uptown girl
30:21Sing the bitch, you know.
30:23MUSIC PLAYS
30:25You must be an Uptown girl!
30:27You live in a white bread world!
30:29Happy a bit of wops!
30:31LAUGHTER
30:31MUSIC PLAYS
30:34There he is, number one fan.
30:36LAUGHTER
30:36Just not a fresh line.
30:38Go on, Roman, sing!
30:39MUSIC PLAYS
30:48Oh, they've still got it.
30:52Oh, they have.
30:52Nobody's ever surprised me, I don't know why.
30:55No, cos they don't like you.
31:01In Blackpool...
31:02Oh, Ace.
31:03What?
31:03Jimmy's got star of the day.
31:05Aww!
31:07Always listening in phonics.
31:09Aww!
31:09That sound, that, innit?
31:11Aww!
31:11Pete and his little sister, Sophie...
31:14He'll be made up with that.
31:15Oh, aye.
31:16Well, I know what'll end up happening.
31:18He's like Paige with stuff like this.
31:20Star of the day now.
31:21He'll be star of the day for the next three months.
31:23Yeah.
31:23Really wring the arse out of it.
31:26Oh, can I have McDonald's for my tea now?
31:28No!
31:29On Friday, it was fallout from the sickening scandal
31:32across the pond that made the headlines on home soil.
31:41That's four I've had.
31:45Oh, get us a fork.
31:46I can't eat this.
31:47Isn't it extraordinary how we are in the eye of the hurricane
31:51of domestic and world views?
31:55Hello, good evening.
31:56The Metropolitan Police are searching two properties
31:58linked to Lord Mandelson.
32:00Stripping off his title.
32:02Let's start there.
32:03He's a right bloody dirt to get him,
32:04isn't he, that Lord Mandelson?
32:06Slipperier than soap he is.
32:08The force is investigating the pier
32:10after emails released by the US government
32:12appear to show him sharing sensitive information
32:15with the convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
32:17Oh, God.
32:18This is such a bloody mess, Simon.
32:20How the mighty have fallen.
32:22Peter Mandelson hasn't publicly commented on the allegations,
32:25but has previously denied any wrongdoing,
32:28and said he regrets his past friendship with Epstein.
32:32If he has even had a whiff of a connection with Epstein,
32:35that should have been enough.
32:37His political career or whatever.
32:38Yeah, that's it, curtains.
32:40I feel like we should bring back shaming people.
32:42Yeah, 100%.
32:43That's shame. Shame.
32:46It is a striking end to a week of jaw-dropping revelations
32:49about the politician and his paedophile friend.
32:52See how it is.
32:54They don't pull the punches, do they, nowadays?
32:56Good.
32:56They say, all right, this paedophile friend.
32:58Yeah, and I'm glad they do that, because...
33:00Yeah, I'm glad they do that, you know.
33:01We don't know which emails the police are investigating,
33:04but among those released by the US government,
33:06is one where it appears Peter Mandelson gave Jeffrey Epstein
33:09advance notice of an enormous EU bailout.
33:13Oh!
33:15No!
33:17Epstein emailed Lord Mandelson,
33:18sources tell me €500 billion bailout almost complete.
33:22This is shocking, Simon.
33:24What they've had to do there is unpick the code.
33:27Yeah.
33:27What's compelled to?
33:28Yeah.
33:29That's what way you want to know.
33:31Have we get CSI on this?
33:32Yeah.
33:33Cos he said it's almost compelled to.
33:35I'm going to have to unscramble this somehow.
33:37Wow!
33:38A reply, seemingly from Mandelson said, should be announced tonight.
33:42Wow!
33:42That's the inside of information, that.
33:44Yeah.
33:44Hours later, EU finance ministers did indeed approve the bailout.
33:49You can't be a politician and be pinging off emails...
33:54No.
33:54..so that your paedophile mate can make a quick buck.
33:58The thing that I can't get over is,
34:00these people that it's naming in the files,
34:03why aren't they being taken to court?
34:06Why aren't they being questioned?
34:08So there's a lot of pieces that are...
34:09They're getting away with it.
34:10The BBC understands Peter Mandelson's position
34:12is that he has not acted in any way criminally,
34:14and that he was not motivated by financial gain.
34:17Oh, you're having a bloody laugh at you.
34:20He didn't get financial gain from it, but your friend did.
34:23Mm.
34:23And your friend provides you with certain things.
34:26Yeah.
34:27Keir Starmer has claimed Lord Mandelson lied to him.
34:29I don't believe this either.
34:31What, you don't believe Starmer has told this?
34:34No.
34:35He portrayed Epstein as someone he barely knew.
34:38This is absolutely absurd.
34:41You knew he knew Epstein.
34:43Sorry, he didn't know.
34:44Of course he did.
34:45Mandelson is obviously a master manipulator and deceiver.
34:50Mm.
34:50He's the one who's acted deceitful
34:52and pulled the wool over everyone's eyes.
34:55Mm.
34:55And when that became clear,
34:58and it was not true, I sacked him.
35:02Even when he's emotional, he sounds like a bloody Dalek.
35:06Mm.
35:06What's wrong with a man?
35:08He's trying to save his neck here.
35:09Of course he is.
35:10This guy.
35:11Cos he knows.
35:12He's on the bloody way out, Starmer.
35:14But the Prime Minister's problem is he knew the pair were friends
35:18after Epstein's conviction for abusing girls as young as 14.
35:23Oh, Joan, it makes my back go.
35:27Dirtful.
35:27I mean, it's just so shady.
35:29It's just so depraved, isn't it?
35:31Yeah.
35:31And a handful of Labour MPs now want Starmer to go.
35:35I want Starmer to go.
35:36We all want Starmer to go.
35:38I actually think Starmer is a decent man.
35:42I don't think he's done a very good job.
35:45See, I'm not a Starmer fan,
35:46but I don't know if the Prime Minister should go on the back of this.
35:50I agree with you, but with all the other stuff that's gone on?
35:54Yeah.
35:55But I think you should go for appointing Rachel Reeves as Chancellor,
35:58but not for this.
36:00I think he'll go, Lee.
36:01Do you?
36:02I think once he's talked to his backbenchers.
36:04Oh, I bet you a vanilla slice is still here next month.
36:08All right, then.
36:08I'll bet you too.
36:09All right.
36:17In home.
36:18Ray cooked a joint last night, pork joint, with all the crackle.
36:21Oh, holly.
36:22I went to my air fryer and looked in my air fryer,
36:25and I had some dripping.
36:26I had the lovely bread and dripping.
36:29Best friends Jenny and Lee.
36:31Oh, that's dripping nowadays.
36:33Me?
36:34I don't waste an hour.
36:36So you scoop the bottom of your air fryer and put it on a piece of bread?
36:39Yeah.
36:39Oh, Jenny, that is disgusting.
36:41Only on pork.
36:42Oh, no, it doesn't really matter.
36:44Oh, it does.
36:45That's why it's in the bottom.
36:46You don't touch it.
36:47Yeah, you do.
36:48And I spoon it out.
36:50Oh, my God.
36:51You make me feel sick.
36:53On Friday, there was some nostalgic news for us to feast on on the BBC.
36:58Would you believe I've had to open another jar of pickles?
37:02Somebody keeps going into the fridge and just eating pickles.
37:09I love this pattern.
37:11I can never get enough of it.
37:13I need to get a tattoo next, don't I?
37:15Oh, no, that would be going too far.
37:17Now, if you're still thinking about what to eat this lunchtime.
37:21I'm always thinking about what to eat.
37:22That's all I think about.
37:24Yeah, I am, because I've got a friend who doesn't fucking feed us.
37:27How about a classic prawn cocktail?
37:29Prawn cocktail.
37:30You love a prawn cocktail.
37:31I do.
37:31I had one yesterday.
37:32I had one yesterday.
37:32Followed by a jam roly-poly, maybe.
37:35Whoa.
37:36Now, you like that sort of thing with custard, don't you?
37:39Yeah, sauce on clay.
37:40Ugh.
37:41Well, research followed shows that more of us are turning to our childhood favourites
37:46for a taste of nostalgia.
37:48Childhood nostalgia?
37:49I think I'd collapse if my mum tried to feed us a prawn at five.
37:53Fair enough, the jam roly-poly, but not the prawns.
37:55Do you know what?
37:56My kids whinge about school dinners, and little do they know,
37:59these are the best days of their lives.
38:01Yeah.
38:01To make sure your evening goes with the sweets,
38:05you'll need Cabra Smash.
38:06Oh!
38:07This was one of my favourite habits!
38:09Smash, smash, smash, smash.
38:10They peel potatoes, then they smash them all too big.
38:15The other children would be getting crunchies or Kit Kats,
38:18and I'd buy a packet of Smash.
38:19Yes.
38:20I used to live off of that, yeah, the mashed potatoes.
38:23I told you.
38:23And you'd whip it up with a bit of water,
38:25and I used to put a bit of milk and butter in that as well.
38:27Yeah, that, yeah.
38:29From supermarkets to social media,
38:31comfort classics are back, and new businesses are cashing in.
38:34Crispy pancakes!
38:35Oh my God, I remember them!
38:36God, they used to burn my mouth off, because I was so impatient.
38:40Mum would literally say, give it five, they've just come out of the oven,
38:44and I'd be like, I ain't got five.
38:46Oh, there's nothing wrong with bringing these back.
38:48Good scran, I reckon.
38:53Sweet times in Grimsby.
38:56You can keep your creme brulees and panna cottas.
38:59I don't like creme brulee or panna cotta anyway.
39:01I'm a thingy.
39:02I just like sponge and custard.
39:04I don't.
39:04People are going back to old-school British values, aren't they?
39:07Like old treats and low-level racism.
39:10The girls that we have working behind us in the bakery are the ex-dinner ladies,
39:14some of them that actually cooked in the primary school.
39:16We couldn't be trusted to work there.
39:18No, I couldn't!
39:20If a lady isn't having a hot flush while she's making my jam roly-poly,
39:24it's not going to be up to scratch.
39:25Well, it won't taste the same, will it?
39:26It's likely that the current trend stems from people's need to have a bit of comfort in their life.
39:33I'll tell you what, she's good.
39:35She's red hot.
39:35I'm going to study a degree in consumer psychology.
39:40And then I'm going to get wheeled on television decades later to comment on food items.
39:50Consumer psychologist, Mary.
39:52Mm.
39:52As for the future, the proof of the pudding will be in the eating, but a classic never goes out
39:57of style.
39:58I still love the food now that I liked as a kid. To be honest, I haven't really ventured out
40:03much,
40:04apart from I eat mushrooms now when I never used to.
40:06Ooh, I love a ginger sponge.
40:08Yeah, any sponge, basically. Any sponge with custard. Stun.
40:14Go on, there's some doughnuts in the fridge. Go and fetch us one.
40:17We'll share one, we won't be too greedy.
40:19Look at me, you've never seen me move so quick.
40:25So I was in seeing my brother the other day to try and buy a new car, and he's like
40:30hit me with,
40:31you need to trade this heap of shite in. He sold me it last year.
40:35Best mates Jake and Callum.
40:38But it was just funny because when I went in, I was like, oh, he's going to sort me out
40:41big time.
40:42Instantly insults the car he sold me last year.
40:44Yeah, right. Convincing me to buy a new one. What's not to say next year I go back and he
40:48says,
40:48that is now shit. Absolute pile, yeah. That is shit now.
40:51Yeah. In the motor industry, that's shite.
40:52Yeah, you can't be driving around in that. Yeah.
40:54You can't be my brother and be, you know.
40:55Can you trust a car salesman, Phil Stock?
40:57Can you trust a brother, Phil Stock?
40:59You can't. I don't have a brother.
41:00You're not a car salesman brother.
41:03On Monday night, our favourite daredevil was trying to save us a few quid on Channel 4.
41:09It's a bit warmer nearly.
41:13Oh, this will be interesting.
41:15We like Guy Martin, don't we?
41:16I can't remember which one he is.
41:18It is terrific.
41:19We all know it.
41:20Heating your home has got bloody expensive.
41:24Bloody right.
41:25When you're in London, I put both the thermostats onto like 35 degrees.
41:31Yeah, that's just such a waste.
41:34I walk around with my pants.
41:35Yeah, well, darling, that's not good for the environment.
41:38Over the past five or six years, energy bills have gone up 70%.
41:44Tell me about it.
41:46I'll come home from work, there's lights on, there's no one home.
41:50Lights have been on all day.
41:51To ways are worse for that.
41:52Guy Martin's finding out how to make our homes cheaper to heat.
41:56Ellie, when is Nat going to come round and finish my radiator?
42:00I don't know.
42:01I'm not his keeper.
42:03Yes, you are.
42:04Yes, you are.
42:06I don't decide what he does.
42:08Yes, you do.
42:09What I really want to find out is, can we get rid of energy bills altogether?
42:14No.
42:17A house for folk bills.
42:19Oh, I mean, that's everyone's dream, isn't it?
42:21Do you know why I think Guy Martin will be good at this?
42:23Because he's a bit of an engineer boffin.
42:24Yeah.
42:24You know, he's into his motorbikes, into cars, lorries, all that lot.
42:28You can show us how to get wired up to the lamppost.
42:31I am about performance and efficiency.
42:34I like a bit of performance and efficiency as well.
42:37See, Guy Martin's got the right idea, hasn't he?
42:39He's got massive sideburns, so his face is always warm.
42:43Yeah, he's got energy-efficient face, hasn't he?
42:45So, I spend days with my thermal image here,
42:49just looking at stuff, where heat's running about.
42:51That's you.
42:53And a rat, your friend.
42:54And a rat.
42:55Strikes me as the kind of guy who eats a lot of bean casseroles.
43:01Air source heat pump, and this is the second one we've added.
43:03So, what do they do then?
43:05Take the air and heat it and put it in your house?
43:07I don't know, Jane.
43:08Oh, OK.
43:09My parents had one on our pool.
43:12Very early one, years ago.
43:13Of course they did, darling.
43:14It was a heat pump.
43:15Must be so hard growing up for you.
43:18Guy Martin's investigations into reducing energy bills
43:21are about to tackle the thing responsible
43:24for up to 20% of an older home's heat loss.
43:29Drafts.
43:31We've got a draft problem at the front door there, hasn't it?
43:33Yes, we need it fixed, please.
43:36We're just trying to figure out how to do it.
43:38We're going to do a draft test on my house.
43:42Oh, God, just don't come to ours, please.
43:44Who thinks up these programmes with boring men doing boring things?
43:50Guy has called in the expertise of air tester Gervais Manguana.
43:54Oh, Gervais Manguana.
43:57He sounds posh.
43:58It's the unseen thing, air tightness.
44:01Everybody's got a bit of a head round insulation.
44:03Yeah.
44:03And, in fact, the regs for new builds have systematically got better
44:06over the last 20 years.
44:07The air tightness has pretty much stayed the same.
44:09What is air tightness?
44:11Well, it is quite complex to explain in a sentence.
44:14Oh.
44:15You watch it, you'll understand.
44:17OK.
44:17The process starts by closing all the windows.
44:20Closing the windows.
44:21It's always a good starting point.
44:23What is that?
44:24And then installing a fan into the front door.
44:27A fan?
44:27Perfectly sealed, so that when it's turned on, it will pressurise the inside of the house.
44:33Right, see how quick it loses the pressure, I suppose.
44:38Oh.
44:39All this to save a couple of quid.
44:40The faster the fan has to spin, the leakier the house must be.
44:46Told ya.
44:47Have you ever seen this done?
44:48Yes.
44:49Well, I suppose you were in the business, weren't you?
44:51Not in the draft sealing business.
44:53You're in the new build business.
44:55The result is known as the air permeability value.
44:59The permeability.
45:01Revealing where the leaks are requires a smoke gun.
45:05No, it doesn't.
45:07I got a diffuser like that from B&M for about four quid.
45:10There you go.
45:12Then you can see the smoke on the outside.
45:14Look at that.
45:14The smoke's going out.
45:16Rather than heating his home, Guy is heating Lincolnshire.
45:20Oh, really?
45:22He's heating his garden.
45:24Guy's cheap remedy for the back door is a good old-fashioned draft excluder.
45:29Yeah, there you go.
45:30Who'd have thought you've got a draft at the back door?
45:32Get a draft excluder.
45:33Go on, should we put that on?
45:35What are we calling him?
45:37Tony.
45:37Tony.
45:38Yeah.
45:39Tony the draft excluding dog.
45:42Oh, I wouldn't have thought of putting him like that.
45:45Would you?
45:46I would not have, yeah.
45:48Fair play, Tony.
45:49You can stay there, saving me a few pennies.
45:51As simple as that.
45:54I could have told you that for free without having to watch this shite for an hour.
45:57I would not regard it as entertainment.
46:00No.
46:00I'd regard it as a public information broadcast.
46:03Yeah, same.
46:05So, you know, whether it's drafts or STDs, it's not something you dwell on, is it?
46:13You'd expect to enjoy.
46:16Noses out of their living rooms and right into the biz of free big city besties.
46:21Working at a women's magazine where the lifestyle section is certainly juicy.
46:25Stream the bold type now.
46:27Tomorrow night here on Channel 4.
46:29If Alice Roberts' incredible train journeys are your Roman Empire,
46:33it's going to be a great Valentine's Day.
46:35She's back exploring the ancient world at nine.
46:38No, the last leg is next.
46:40Hello, Mr.
46:40So, let's go.
46:42Here we go.
46:46Hello, Mr.
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