- 7 minutes ago
Sex Education By My Best Friend
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:20You're staring, you like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe
00:00:32When are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamole wizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:53Okay.
00:00:58Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, Scarletcher Queen.
00:01:04Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of Castle Claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:16But on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it. This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:48God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my god, he's cold!
00:02:07He's so hot.
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you? Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:21What are you with me, son?
00:02:23What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me.
00:02:34Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts, buttercup.
00:02:36Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:40I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:43You were a...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:52All right.
00:02:54I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:58You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:23Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:27My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:42I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm gonna make your wife a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Now Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:58Yeah, idiot.
00:03:59I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:30Hi.
00:04:32I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Hailey.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39That's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come in.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:47Let's go.
00:04:50There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:14Aww.
00:05:15You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Give it back.
00:05:32Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmonds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:40Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online lover?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:57No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, Valley Queen goes to school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:08Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmonds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmonds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:24Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:29Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is the new girl.
00:06:33Jen is the new girl.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:36Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:41Could it be...
00:06:42Jen?
00:06:45Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chances, Jen.
00:06:55So is it.
00:06:57She does look kinda cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:17Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:25My name's Hayley.
00:07:26Well, Hayley.
00:07:28I think you, uh...
00:07:29You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:34What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:37Oh, no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:41I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her must have filled in the eyes, yeah.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today.
00:08:08I lost the game.
00:08:08I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is...
00:08:18I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than I think.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:30Okay, well, since we're dating now...
00:08:33Um...
00:08:34I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:46Okay.
00:08:47No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02Oh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:06Confidence.
00:09:07You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:14Okay.
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:16Oh my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:25Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:31Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:36Get out.
00:09:36Now!
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:38Ow!
00:09:40Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:09:45We're going...
00:09:45That's not good.
00:09:50No.
00:10:06We're going to have to run into the room.
00:10:07Oh my God!
00:10:07No!
00:10:09We're off...
00:10:09Oh!
00:10:12Let me have to run into the room.
00:10:14I have to run the room.
00:10:15I have to run the room in the room.
00:10:15Go!
00:10:18You're helping me.
00:10:19Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:31I love a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:39Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:40I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:41My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, I know.
00:10:54I love the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way.
00:10:58I mean, I am my type, but, you know, power theory, whatever.
00:11:02Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:17Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:25Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:32Here goes nothing.
00:11:41Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:50You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:06What are you doing?
00:12:30Oh, shit.
00:12:31Oh.
00:12:33Yo, what's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemies nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36Wait, what?
00:12:37Yeah.
00:12:51Come on.
00:12:53Let's see if these goods are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop.
00:12:58Delete it, please.
00:12:58Delete it.
00:12:59Finish.
00:13:00Finish.
00:13:02Finish.
00:13:03Finish.
00:13:10Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:18Oh, my God.
00:13:20Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:24Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:13:33no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:13:36no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:13:37no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:13:37no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:13:38no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:13:58Stop it!
00:14:00Oh my God!
00:14:10You okay?
00:14:13Give that to me.
00:14:21Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:33Not good, huh?
00:14:34Now if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:42She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46He's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:52Hey!
00:14:56Hey, where are you?
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:03Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:20Love you, Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do, do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56Tough day, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:12I'm really proud of you.
00:16:14And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:20It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:24Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:28Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:43When?
00:16:43With?
00:16:44After school.
00:16:45At the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring followers.
00:16:47Deal.
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:13Call.
00:17:18Call me father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:24Hayley girl.
00:17:25He was not a nobody dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Hayley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother was.
00:17:40works as a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:47Stay away from Hayley Cole.
00:17:49Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:56Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Hayley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:02safe.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:16I'm Hayley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:18Mm-hmm.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:22I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:38Ew.
00:18:41Ew.
00:18:42Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45Are you waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:48Pathetic.
00:18:49Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:52And maybe he's sitting on his bike video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:59Why is Guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch and so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:10Eat it.
00:19:22Help me.
00:19:24So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter, so you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:32Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:35Oh and by the way, Cole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:40Like me.
00:19:44I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:59Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:01Pick?
00:20:02That bloody thing up.
00:20:06All right.
00:20:07Pick what you're gonna record this.
00:20:13Pick it out.
00:20:16Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:18I don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:20I thought tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:22You wanna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:28I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:32I will leave Hailey alone
00:20:38Got it?
00:20:39Yeah
00:20:39Let's go
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:46Got it?
00:20:47Let's go
00:20:55Uh, thank you
00:20:57Wow
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just
00:21:07I happen to see you
00:21:09Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:11Yeah
00:21:12My boyfriend actually
00:21:16Well, he
00:21:17He kind of stood me up, so
00:21:19Maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:23Maybe you got into a nice thing
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:29You thought we were enemies
00:21:31I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though
00:21:33So
00:21:33Am I that annoying?
00:21:35Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers
00:21:38Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Ednaz?
00:21:40Because it's not going to work
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses
00:21:49How'd that online work here just make you fall for her?
00:21:55He
00:21:56He makes me feel safe
00:21:59You wouldn't understand that, though
00:22:05You understand better than you think
00:22:08Cole understands me better than I think
00:22:12I don't see
00:22:14Now you touch him like this
00:22:25If you keep staring, I'm going to think you like what you see
00:22:29No, no, my
00:22:31My boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:36In the game
00:22:38Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you that slow in the game, too?
00:22:55I can see why he likes you
00:23:07I can't do this
00:23:10I love my boyfriend
00:23:11And you will never understand that
00:23:13He's smart and he's kind
00:23:15And he loves me for who I am
00:23:19That is so much more important to me
00:23:21Than whatever this is between us
00:23:23I wish I could just tell her right now
00:23:33Wait, it couldn't be
00:23:37Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:42There's nothing
00:23:43Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car
00:23:51Got done getting waxed
00:23:54Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life
00:24:03What was I thinking?
00:24:04We are from two different worlds
00:24:06He just wants to play with me
00:24:08But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I got into a car accident
00:24:19Really?
00:24:20Are you okay?
00:24:21You have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:23He was right
00:24:24Who?
00:24:25Nobody
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:27I want to come visit you
00:24:29No, no, you can't
00:24:30I look miserable now
00:24:31You need to see me in style
00:24:34Fine, if you say so
00:24:36So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:38Hell yeah, we are
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case
00:25:05Oh, you
00:25:06Oh, me
00:25:07Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl
00:25:12People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:15I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework
00:25:24You finished it?
00:25:26It's okay
00:25:27We'll get to know each other more
00:25:28I'm not that curious about you, actually
00:25:30I'm curious about you, though
00:25:32Like, uh, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:36What is he trying to do?
00:25:38It's none of your business
00:25:39But I'm very close with my mom
00:25:41I'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:46Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:56So
00:25:57Are you going to prom?
00:25:59Eh, I get a will
00:26:00I don't know
00:26:01So you have a date
00:26:04Or shall I say victim?
00:26:06Are you jealous of me?
00:26:07Me?
00:26:08Jealous?
00:26:09No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:10Oh, because I think you so secretly want to be
00:26:13You are so full of yourself
00:26:15You can do this on your own
00:26:16Yeah
00:26:19No way
00:26:21It's a self-locking door
00:26:23Really?
00:26:24Miss Corma's going to be back in an hour
00:26:25I'm sure it'll be fine
00:26:26I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:29Okay, sorry
00:26:30Am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up
00:26:32Where we left off
00:26:34Don't worry
00:26:35Maybe try something new
00:26:36Mm-mm
00:26:36We're keeping our distance this time, actually
00:26:39Yeah
00:26:49That was my first kiss
00:26:53My first kiss was not supposed to go like that
00:26:56It was supposed to be special at prom
00:26:58And not just bumping lips
00:27:10You're really good at this
00:27:12One day I want you to regret it
00:27:15You know
00:27:16We can do more if you want
00:27:32And I've been wanting back a lot more than you think
00:27:36So you want me?
00:27:40I think you know how much I want you
00:27:45Do you want me?
00:27:48I want you
00:27:53Oh shit
00:27:58Anyone in here?
00:28:01Oh my god
00:28:02How long have you two been in here?
00:28:04I really need to change this lock
00:28:06Are you two okay?
00:28:07Oh
00:28:07Yeah
00:28:08Yeah, we're good
00:28:09We're okay
00:28:10Great
00:28:11Nice
00:28:18You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:22Hey, wait
00:28:22It's just hormones
00:28:24Hey, Jake
00:28:26Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax, I'm not dead
00:28:29Wait
00:28:30Car accident?
00:28:31Guacamole wizard?
00:28:38I gotta go
00:28:46Guacamole wizard
00:28:47Huh?
00:28:51Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:53Do I know you?
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:56Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers
00:29:07She was in a real car accident
00:29:08According to you, so is guacamole wizard
00:29:11I don't like this anymore
00:29:12Cole, wait
00:29:15Oh shit
00:29:20What's up, guys?
00:29:22Um
00:29:23We were just chatting
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls
00:29:28Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:31Hey
00:29:32I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks
00:29:35They're your favorite
00:29:36Right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Tough day, huh?
00:29:41There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:29:43They're my favorite
00:29:45He couldn't be Cole
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um
00:29:54A dickhead
00:29:57What do you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:59You came to my table, bro
00:30:00And knocked my ball away
00:30:08There it goes again
00:30:10Cole is jealous
00:30:11We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:13We don't have a problem
00:30:15We don't have a problem
00:30:17Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball
00:30:19And we don't have a problem
00:30:21Jake, it would take me forever
00:30:22To find one of your balls
00:30:25I have the ball now
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:40What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:43Wait, seriously?
00:30:44Yeah, just one little catch
00:30:46You have to pretend to like Haley Roth
00:30:51All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports
00:30:54If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk
00:30:58I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole
00:31:01But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end
00:31:05You've literally been sorry for five minutes
00:31:07I'm thinking
00:31:08About the report or about him?
00:31:10Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:12We literally made out of a soldier
00:31:15Maybe I've known Jake longer
00:31:16No, you don't
00:31:18How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else
00:31:20Stop acting like you're serious about me
00:31:22You have no idea
00:31:28Oh my god, is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:44Haley, someone's here to see you
00:31:57Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:01Too cheesy?
00:32:02No, it's cute
00:32:04The accident, the mozzarella sticks
00:32:07He is Guacamole Wizard
00:32:09So, um, what do you think?
00:32:12You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:14I...
00:32:14I should feel happy
00:32:16But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:24Hey, can we not?
00:32:26Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:28My problem here, dude
00:32:29Is that me and my lab partner have work to do
00:32:31And you're out here to strike me with bad puns
00:32:33Wow
00:32:35That is some weak shit, man
00:32:37Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:39Is this weak shit?
00:32:43Oh my god
00:32:51Wow
00:32:52Wow
00:32:52He's got really pretty eyes
00:32:59Wait, I can't
00:33:00Colt, put me down
00:33:02Put me down
00:33:03Pull me down
00:33:05Don't do that again
00:33:19New couple alert
00:33:21Fuck off, Jen
00:33:22Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:24You and I, we're not that different
00:33:26And if you'd realize and give me a chance
00:33:28I think that we would make a great match
00:33:30Like, say, if you asked me to prom
00:33:34I might say yes
00:33:37Jen
00:33:37You want to go to prom
00:33:40With me?
00:33:41Jen, you want to go to prom
00:33:43With me?
00:33:44We're both hot
00:33:45And we're both rich
00:33:46And our dads have been in business
00:33:48Like, forever
00:33:48So
00:33:50How romantic
00:33:51I think I'll pass
00:33:54You're going to regret this, Colt Edmonds
00:34:01If I message Corcamole Wizard
00:34:03I wonder if Jake's phone were ding
00:34:07What should we wear to prom?
00:34:09And the dance list
00:34:19Um, I'll talk to you later
00:34:20I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:21Okay, yeah, I'll see you later
00:34:22Bye
00:34:24He's so different
00:34:25Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:30Haley?
00:34:38What are you doing?
00:34:39Jeez
00:34:41God
00:34:47Here, I'll get it
00:34:48I know
00:34:52Oh
00:34:54You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:56I don't care
00:34:57I do care
00:35:00Haley, I
00:35:17I don't go to prom with Jake
00:35:19I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me
00:35:21He doesn't even know you
00:35:22And you do?
00:35:24How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:26That's something I've only ever talked about
00:35:27Because I pay attention to what you like
00:35:32I noticed it at lunch
00:35:34The first day
00:35:36You were watching me?
00:35:38Just don't go to prom with Jake
00:35:54Move
00:35:56Cole is talking to Haley
00:35:58Again
00:35:58Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you
00:36:04Obviously I do
00:36:05Okay, then break them up, idiot
00:36:08Uh, what do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas
00:36:17Haley, look
00:36:20Someone will take you to prom
00:36:21Alright, I promise
00:36:22Yeah?
00:36:23Really, like who?
00:36:24I mean, the whole school hates me
00:36:25Except for Jake
00:36:28And you
00:36:28But you're not asking me
00:36:32Hey
00:36:33Oh, hey, Jake
00:36:34Hey, Hal
00:36:35Um
00:36:36I just wanted to thank you again for the other night
00:36:41The other night?
00:36:42Yeah, it was
00:36:44So
00:36:45Sexy
00:36:47You're so sexy
00:36:48Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:51Hey, I'm wrong
00:36:52Uh, I hate to break it to you, asshole
00:36:54But she's my prom date
00:37:00And she's a real tiger in the pep room
00:37:04Oh, shit, look
00:37:06Oh, shit
00:37:09Oh, shit
00:37:10Oh, shit
00:37:13Oh, my God
00:37:23Stop, guys, stop it
00:37:25Stop, stop
00:37:26What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:31Shit, it's Principal Stevens
00:37:33I've got to save Cole
00:37:34I mean, Jake
00:37:35I've got to save Jake
00:37:41Oh, my God
00:37:43Principal Stevens
00:37:44I'm so sorry
00:37:46Haley Rock
00:37:47That's detention
00:37:48After school
00:37:50Don't be late
00:38:06Cole
00:38:07What are you doing here?
00:38:09Can we keep you company?
00:38:11That's the least I could do
00:38:12After you saved my rest today
00:38:15The locker thing
00:38:16That was an accident
00:38:18Oh, sure
00:38:21So, uh
00:38:22You and
00:38:23You and Jake, huh?
00:38:25No
00:38:27He lied about that
00:38:28I don't know why, though
00:38:30Good
00:38:31You know
00:38:33Father, the asshole
00:38:34Every time he looks at you
00:38:35Makes me sick to my stomach
00:38:37Thinking about him
00:38:38Touching you
00:38:38Kissing you
00:38:40I could kill him
00:38:44Promise me
00:38:45You won't go to prom with him
00:38:49Okay, fine
00:38:49I won't
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you
00:38:58Okay, everyone
00:38:59Let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:08Oh, my God
00:39:09I am so fed up with this
00:39:29Oh, sorry
00:39:30Hey, Trips
00:39:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:39:33What?
00:39:34It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:40They're dead
00:39:41They're both dead
00:39:42Oh
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:49Oh
00:39:50What are you
00:39:51Are you almost crying?
00:39:53It's probably because you can't afford a new one
00:39:57Jen
00:39:57What's going on over there?
00:40:10What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine
00:40:13It's burning
00:40:14Mr. Edmonds
00:40:15Oh, please
00:40:16It's baking soda and water
00:40:17You're fine
00:40:18Detention
00:40:19Today
00:40:19After school
00:40:20Oh, shit
00:40:33Jake, hey
00:40:35Oh, uh, sorry
00:40:36Gotta get to student council
00:40:40Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick
00:40:43The rice trick
00:40:44The rice trick
00:40:46Yeah
00:40:48You don't know about the
00:40:51Come on
00:41:04Hey, um, Ella
00:41:07It's Emma
00:41:08Yeah
00:41:09That's what I said
00:41:10Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:20Hey, it's gonna be okay
00:41:23We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop
00:41:29It means
00:41:30It means I can't
00:41:32Can't what?
00:41:36I talked to a friend online
00:41:38He's really important to me
00:41:43And I'm sure you're really important to him
00:41:55You know, Cole
00:41:56If you look past all that hair gel
00:41:59And big ol' ego
00:42:01And rich kid for vodka
00:42:03Okay, okay
00:42:04I get it
00:42:08You're kind of sweet
00:42:14Hey, look at that
00:42:16Oh, my God
00:42:17Thank you
00:42:20Oh, my God
00:42:21You're a miracle worker
00:42:23Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:29You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate
00:42:32Shut up, Ella
00:42:33It's Emma
00:42:34Whatever
00:42:42Oh, my God
00:42:45Oh, morning, Valley Whore
00:42:52How are things in the castle?
00:42:54Oh, my God
00:42:59Valley Whore?
00:43:00What are they talking about?
00:43:16Guacamole Wizard
00:43:17Guacamole Wizard
00:43:18When can we be together in person?
00:43:20Guacamole Wizard
00:43:21I want you so badly
00:43:22I dream about you touching me
00:43:23Oh, my God
00:43:25Someone hacked my castle claimers messages
00:43:27Touch me, Guacamole Wizard
00:43:30Yeah
00:43:31Hey, Valley Whore
00:43:32Show them what you really like
00:43:52Here you go
00:43:53Here, this is for you
00:43:59Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:01You hacked my laptop?
00:44:03Oh, no, it wasn't me
00:44:04It was that kid, Ella
00:44:06But I definitely got to reap the benefits
00:44:08What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:12What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:13No, I'm not trying to catfish him
00:44:15Hey, everyone
00:44:16I think Valley Whore's a catfish
00:44:19Because who in their right mind
00:44:21Would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:48Stop it, stop, stop
00:44:52I thought I'd said to janitor some time
00:44:57Jane
00:44:59Hey
00:45:01Now's the time
00:45:02Tell them
00:45:03Tell them what?
00:45:05That you're a guacamole wizard
00:45:08Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:11Here you go
00:45:14Oh, my God
00:45:15Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:18Oh, sweetie
00:45:19I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you
00:45:22What?
00:45:23Why would you do that?
00:45:24Oh, I don't know, Cole
00:45:25Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:29Jake
00:45:29Is this true?
00:45:30Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:34Sorry
00:45:36It was nothing personal?
00:45:42Yeah, nothing personal, huh?
00:45:50All right, all right, all right
00:45:52Enough
00:45:53What in the world is going on here?
00:45:55Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:57That's all him
00:45:58Okay, well, you both have detention, so
00:46:05Let me get this straight
00:46:06You stole a leaf blower
00:46:08And defaced school property?
00:46:10It wasn't school property, Dad
00:46:12It was Jen's cyber boy's spreadsheets
00:46:14Jesus Christ
00:46:15How does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:17Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:20You think that's what it could be?
00:46:22Who cares?
00:46:23I care
00:46:24And
00:46:25I hear she's got an eye for you
00:46:27So you're taking her to prom
00:46:28What?
00:46:30I don't overmind that body
00:46:31Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:34I'm firing her mother
00:46:35Right now
00:46:36No, no, please don't
00:46:37Please
00:46:38Then you're taking Jen to prom
00:46:40Max's dad called
00:46:41He said he's having a party tomorrow
00:46:43You're gonna go
00:46:44And you're gonna ask Jen to prom
00:46:46End of discussion
00:46:54Come on, you big coward
00:46:55Message him
00:46:57Just do it, just do it
00:47:01You must think I'm the biggest idiot
00:47:09I could never think that
00:47:16But I thought you were Jake
00:47:17Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:20I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime
00:47:26I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow
00:47:28If you want, I'll meet you there
00:47:42Okay
00:47:43You got this, Haley
00:47:45Just take a deep breath
00:47:46You got this
00:47:47You got this
00:47:51You look beautiful
00:47:55Thank you, Mom
00:48:15Hey, Haley
00:48:16I'm glad you came
00:48:17You look so pretty
00:48:18Hi
00:48:19Hey, Max
00:48:20Your house is gorgeous
00:48:22I mean
00:48:23Nah, it's just my parents' blood, honey
00:48:24You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:27They don't care about shit
00:48:28Get drunk, girl
00:48:29Woo!
00:48:32Good job
00:48:43What are you doing here?
00:48:44Valley whore
00:48:47Looks like the catfish came out of the pond
00:48:49Hey, everyone
00:48:50Let's give it up for Valley whore
00:48:52Valley whore!
00:48:57Jen
00:48:58Why are you doing this?
00:48:59What have I even done to you?
00:49:00To me
00:49:00Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:49:03Because those little cringy messages on your castle game
00:49:06Those are concerning
00:49:08Actually, you're kind of a bit of a perv
00:49:10Did you know that?
00:49:11Haley
00:49:12She's a little pervy princess
00:49:15Pervy princess
00:49:18Pervy princess
00:49:18Pervy princess
00:49:20Pervy princess
00:49:21Pervy princess
00:49:22Pervy princess
00:49:22Pervy princess
00:49:23Hey, let's get pervy tonight
00:49:25Leave me alone
00:49:27Is there a fire?
00:49:29Okay, we set off the alarm
00:49:43Oh, my God
00:49:45Oh, my God
00:49:47Oh, my God
00:50:21are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend okay
00:50:28cole is not him anyways we are going to the prom together no i'm not yes you are it's okay
00:50:35you can be honest about your feelings so you too this whole time
00:50:43oh my god i am such an idiot hey wait
00:50:53please at least take my jacket you know if you really wanted to humiliate me
00:50:57you didn't have to go to the extra effort jen was doing just fine i wasn't trying to humiliate
00:51:01you then what were you trying to do i guess you obviously the white clothes were just an added
00:51:06bonus i knew i shouldn't trusted you and what about guacamole wizard
00:51:22who is that just the devil
00:51:27get in the car
00:51:30i'm not gonna ask you again cole get in the car
00:51:34that can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to hailey i already
00:51:39assumed that's who this was i'm a stripedance so you're the scholarship trash that's hell
00:51:45bent on ruining cole's life well i've got news for you young lady my son is going to marry
00:51:51a good girl from a respectable family and that's not you you will be forgotten you're a maid's
00:51:59daughter and your mom works for me stay away from him or i swear to god your mother is fire
00:52:07dad stop don't you touch my family i'll stay away
00:52:12hey come on you don't mean that
00:52:16i hate everything you stand for i hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what
00:52:24you think a good person looks like i hate everything about you i hate all of it i don't
00:52:30want any part of it so cole go with your dad
00:52:36hayley
00:52:45no laptop and no phone for a week
00:52:48ever since mom died you've turned into this cold patriarch
00:52:51hey we're not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable i promised your mother i
00:52:56would
00:52:56make you a success son even if it meant saving you from yourself
00:53:07hi hayley i'm emma i know you are
00:53:11right i just felt kind of bad that i accidentally helped jen ruin your life so i wanted to return
00:53:18your laptop to you
00:53:19goodness new
00:53:20goodness new
00:53:24oh wow thanks emma okay bye
00:53:33one down one to go you're so cool i know emma wanna go to prom why not let's get these
00:53:43lovers together
00:53:49hi mr edmund
00:53:50hi max and max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you cole's grounded
00:53:56oh he is but it was his 18th birthday today
00:54:01what can i say max actions have consequences birthday or no cole is grounded
00:54:07well that really sucks because he is uh also the president of the prom committee we were supposed to review
00:54:14budgets today
00:54:16cole my son cole reviewing budgets
00:54:19he's never reviewed a budget a day in his life
00:54:22well mr edmunds today could be that day and we just have to give him back this school sanctioned laptop
00:54:27so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work
00:54:40go away
00:54:44max what
00:54:46what are you guys doing here
00:54:47happy birthday cole
00:54:49i brought you my laptop and logged into your castle claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow
00:54:53what what what's going on
00:54:55dude it's your 18th birthday
00:54:57you can tell hayley who you are now you can be together
00:55:00just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are
00:55:05no
00:55:06i'll tell her myself
00:55:07sneak me in your car
00:55:15welcome all the wizard
00:55:19mom i'm fine
00:55:20i just need some time alone
00:55:29open the door
00:55:31wait what
00:55:33he's here
00:55:42it's you
00:55:44i should give you this to you a long time ago
00:55:48hayley i wanted to tell you who i was from the very beginning
00:55:51my dad threatened to fire your mom
00:55:53and i had to wait a really long time
00:55:55to tell you who i was
00:55:56i got my inheritance
00:55:58and i can protect you and your family and so
00:56:00you don't have to choose
00:56:13you know what
00:56:15i understand that this changes things
00:56:17if
00:56:18you don't love me the way
00:56:20you love guacamole wizard but
00:56:21i
00:56:24look i need you to know i love you
00:56:37cool i love you
00:56:39you do
00:56:41yes you idiot
00:56:43i've loved you for months
00:56:44i mean
00:56:45this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though
00:56:48because i had to be loyal to him and
00:56:51but you're him
00:56:53you
00:56:53you didn't expect her
00:56:55i
00:56:55i mean
00:56:56i
00:56:57i always hoped it was you
00:57:00until you hoped
00:57:02yes
00:57:03i hoped it was you
00:57:04you were always there for me
00:57:08you were always there for me
00:57:09you were always there for me
00:57:10you were really fucking hot
00:57:12you were really fucking hot
00:57:16hey uh
00:57:17one of those things i said we could do
00:57:20you're gonna go
00:57:22yeah
00:57:25i'll take my clothes off
00:57:27you're getting there don't worry
00:57:28you're getting there don't worry
00:57:30yeah
00:57:31i'm so beyond you
00:57:33just beyond me
00:57:36oh
00:57:37i'm so beyond you
00:57:43just beyond me
00:57:47oh
00:57:47oh
00:57:48oh
00:57:49oh
00:57:49oh
00:57:49oh
00:57:49oh
00:57:49oh
00:57:50okay so what do you think 10 out of 10 yeah would do again i'll get sex with sex with
00:57:58me
00:57:58specifically i've only ever had sex with you specifically all right all right that's fair
00:58:04i'll uh i'll take that as a one
00:58:12what is my life now am i being nice to cole eggnance
00:58:16oh god now i fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly
00:58:22now i'll just i'll just lost behind it there's always been lost behind it
00:58:26i'll see you in a minute
00:58:27um
00:58:31um
00:58:32i think isn't promenade i think you know if it's promenade
00:58:39okay but the real question is do you get a date
00:58:45cole are you asking me to prom
00:58:47oh i would have asked you earlier but jay kind of gave me to the show
00:58:51oh god please don't mention his name again i don't want to hear it
00:58:54yeah you don't have to ask me once
00:58:56but i don't even have a dress
00:58:59later
00:59:04i just slept with cole edmonds and i'm in love with cole edmonds
00:59:07who would have guessed
00:59:12i thought only the best for my princess
00:59:16where did you get that
00:59:18uh i might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you
00:59:24might have wanted to go to prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:29of course they'll go to prom with you
00:59:35mr edmonds i didn't expect you to be here
00:59:39cole are you here
00:59:42cole are you here
00:59:45mr edmonds you can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:48if i let you cole you are in big trouble
01:00:06hey uh you almost done in there
01:00:10you try changing into an evening gown and a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:15okay i'm ready
01:00:27what do you think
01:00:31my god hey you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
01:00:38i just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick
01:00:41you're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes
01:00:4420 more minutes
01:00:45we're in
01:00:46i do
01:00:50thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes
01:00:55i hear we have a winner
01:00:58and your 2026 prom queen is
01:01:03jen longfellow
01:01:04oh my god thank you guys so much seriously this makes the world to me
01:01:13i mean like who else would win right
01:01:16oh this is just the perfect moment
01:01:22oh my god that's hailey and cole
01:01:26it was fucked
01:01:28it's great so bad
01:01:32hey uh most of the time that's up
01:01:36no
01:01:36but who cares
01:01:40hell yeah
01:01:44ew literally what the fuck
01:01:46hell yeah
01:01:47i am the queen okay she's just a little pervy princess
01:01:51come on everyone say it with me
01:01:53pervy princess pervy princess pervy princess
01:02:02wait wait wait wait what are those those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:06make cole edmunds fall in love with you
01:02:10his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:13don't worry daddy if i can't have him no one can
01:02:19i'm gonna destroy hayley roth's life is this real
01:02:23jen's crazy
01:02:26who did this
01:02:27who did this
01:02:31what you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone
01:02:35you little shit
01:02:37you know jen
01:02:38as the principal
01:02:40i'm supposed to remain impartial
01:02:42and above all of this petty drama
01:02:45but quite frankly
01:02:48you are the worst
01:02:50and i think it's time that you are expelled from edmunds academy
01:02:54you can't do that
01:02:56i'm the principal so uh
01:02:57yes i can
01:03:07there was no answer in sick
01:03:10you lied to me
01:03:24oh my princess finally has a crown
01:03:27now all i need is my handsome prince
01:03:29oh
01:03:30yeah no can do
01:03:32all i have to offer
01:03:34is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:36and a awesome sense of humor
01:03:38oh
01:03:39how can i refuse
01:03:46oh no that's my dad
01:03:50we are going home
01:03:51right now
01:03:53you disobeyed me for the last time boy
01:03:55yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:58you talk all the time
01:03:59about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:04:02that
01:04:03you can't see i've already become that man
01:04:06and it's because of hayley
01:04:08and you can accept that
01:04:09i'll make my own path
01:04:11and best believe me i can
01:04:13i'll say this
01:04:15it's the most backbone i've ever seen in you cole
01:04:20joy prime
01:04:28i am so proud of you
01:04:31i can't have done with all you being by my side
01:04:35that was terrifying
01:04:36it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before
01:04:39well so
01:04:41i love you balacorn
01:04:42i love you guacamole wizard
01:04:44oh my god i gotta change that username
01:04:46yeah you do
01:04:47oh my god
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