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  • 2 days ago
My Dad Is Poseidon
Transcript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug! Your launch today, beach!
00:33Slow-ass sea slug!
01:00Filthy scavengers! When Lord Poseidon ruled the Deep, you Skyrats swore never to breach the surface.
01:10Poseidon? Fish food ages ago.
01:37Sire, Zeus' people just breached your outer barrier.
01:41I'm retired. Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:48Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console? I'm gonna go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire! You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else. Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:28My king! Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:54What did you do? Turn me back right now!
02:57What did you do? Turn me back right now!
03:02Sire! The entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command! Lead us against Olympus! We beg you!
03:08Zeus' brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years. I'm retired. I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:21Screw power struggles. Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:30Fight!
03:37Get your hands off me, creep!
03:39Sorry. I didn't mean to...
03:45Wait. Pointy ears. A dryage? What's a forest nintz doing here?
03:54He's just a regular human. A total nerd. Damn it. The Aphrodisians kicking in.
04:09You're burning up down here. Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged. This whole thing is Dylan's sick setup. If I don't mate someone before the timer runs out,
04:21I die. I really need this guy.
04:29Goddamn. You really know how to flip my switch.
04:40I need more. A lot more.
04:50Don't stop. Harder. Squeeze me tighter.
05:01What the hell did you do to me last night?
05:05Hey. I put in a lot of work. Don't tell me you forgot.
05:09What?
05:10Leora! I know you're in there! Nowhere left to run!
05:14Damn it. He tracked me.
05:29Leora. You're my fiancé. You belong with me. Come home.
05:33Get away, Dylan!
05:37As the leader of the Sacher, you actually drugged me.
05:44Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt?
05:47You slept with someone?
05:50Who screwed up my plan?!
05:54Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her.
05:57Newsflash, tough guy. Real men don't need tricks.
06:00You talking to the boss like that, punk?!
06:08So you're the loser who ruined everything?
06:10You actually fucked this beach bomb shut in?!
06:20Touch him again and you'll regret it!
06:22Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value. Can't push too hard yet.
06:28I won't kill him.
06:31But you're coming with me, Loria.
06:34Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:43Forget today ever happened. Go back to your life.
06:59Seriously? Can't I just play my game for once?
07:12Those assholes are back already.
07:14What are you talking about?!
07:21Hey, Pencil Neck! I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:24Either get the hell out of this water, or kneel and call me daddy.
07:28Dylan Hook, speak up man, my ears are shot.
07:31Keep acting tough!
07:32Jax can stomp boulders to dust!
07:34Even Narius' sea folk give him a wide burn!
07:49You asked for this.
07:50You asked for this.
08:03You one-shotted pants-toppin' orcer?!
08:05Who the hell are you?!
08:15You one-shotted pants-toppin' orcer?!
08:17Asshole. Using my divine power to barbecue.
08:20Hope you die alone and miserable.
08:24What are you whining about?
08:26Nothing!
08:27Heat's too low. Sprinkle this and baste it again.
08:35Molly? Gods make heroes with it, you seasoned food?
08:41Huh. Tide barrier just got tripped.
08:50Mommy, is daddy stationed way out in the deep sea?
08:53Is that why he never comes to see me?
08:56Yeah, baby.
08:57But he retired recently.
08:59We're gonna find him now.
09:01Don't, don't, don't, don't.
09:09I'm badly wounded.
09:10I don't have much time.
09:12Find Lily's real father.
09:14Leave her with him.
09:16I just hope you two can live in peace.
09:20Far away from those bastards on Mount Olympus.
09:35There it is.
09:44Liara's wounded bad.
09:46Drag them both back to the Dillon.
09:48Lifetime of easy living.
09:54What the hell was that?
09:56Nothing. Just swapped a bug.
10:02That girl from five years ago.
10:04You came looking for me?
10:07She's your daughter.
10:09We need you now.
10:11So you're my dad?
10:13You're actually pretty handsome.
10:16This aura?
10:17She's got my blood.
10:24Who did this?
10:25Don't worry about it.
10:27Just keep Lily safe.
10:33Mommy.
10:34Mommy!
10:52It's too late, boss.
10:54Her heartbeat's fading fast.
11:09Somebody help me!
11:24give me a name leora who did this i'm going to tear them apart
11:30it was
11:52your father sold you to me a long time ago you're my fiance my property
11:57you filthy whore spread your legs for some straight dog
12:04but at least your bloodline is still worth something
12:12no let go
12:15with nymph blood in my veins even olympus will bow to me
12:27i got careless diving near a shipwreck my fault shipwreck those cuts are surgical leora
12:36someone did this to you
12:41you're just a regular guy stay out of it boss soup's ready
12:52if i don't make it promise me you'll take care of lily she's all we have left
12:58she's safe now drink soup isn't gonna fix this jack
13:11jack you
13:14ambrosia residue golden apple sap i studied this in grad's time greek meth said it could raise
13:21the dead for mortals where the hell did you get this more try it
13:37these ingredients where did you get them
13:44it's my first time meeting daddy i gotta find the prettiest shell for him
14:12what a lively little snack
14:16gulp you down and my power doubles
14:26i just fished this stuff out of the bay
14:28you want more
14:30i've got a ton of it laying around
14:31this guy's luck is insane
14:36a random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods
14:40is this coast a secret olympian vault you're safe here liria
14:48we've got a kid together now
14:51i'm not letting anything touch
14:54you or lily
14:56jack i'm grateful but i
14:57daddy help
15:01something's trying to eat me
15:05lily's in trouble
15:12i i'm not tasty
15:14my mommy and daddy are super strong
15:17please don't eat me
15:22divine power runs through this girl
15:25devour you
15:27and i might even claim the sea king's throne
15:32ha ha ha ha ha
15:40oh
16:04you disgusting freak what do you think you're doing to my daughter mommy
16:11i've got you baby touch my kid again and i'll rip her head off your shoulders
16:18ha you ruined my meal
16:23wait the baby mama herself perfect
16:32two courses for the price of one
16:41you
16:46jack take lily and run go
16:55run from the lucian hydro you pathetic little insects
17:06you posei that kid's his no wonder the power's so pure that's poseidon's bloodline if i stay i'm dead
17:23what the hell just happened it ran damn lioya your powers are badass you straight up scared
17:31the monster off me no way even at full strength i couldn't take that thing i'm still recovering
17:39wait maybe it sensed the guardian of the sea vault
17:45whatever let's get home that thing might circle back
17:51about that monster
17:57failed at the perfect time figures
17:59he's just a regular guy after all
18:07so
18:09Oh!
18:11Oh!
18:15Yeah!
18:17Oh!
18:18Oh!
18:20Oh!
18:22Oh!
18:24Oh!
18:28Oh!
18:29Oh!
18:30Oh!
18:42My liege!
18:44Have mercy!
18:45I didn't know she was your daughter, I swear it!
18:47Please, spare my life!
18:49No problem.
18:50Thank you, my lord! Thank you for your mercy!
18:52Try to remember that in your next life.
18:54Oh!
19:06Enjoying the show.
19:08No!
19:17My king!
19:18We had nothing to do with the Hydra, we swear!
19:21Listen to me.
19:22If any of you take one step near my daughter again, I will skin you alive.
19:28Now, get the fuck out of my sight!
19:31Yes!
19:31Yes, my leash!
19:44My love, since you refused to tell me who did this to you, I'll just have to dig up the
19:49truth myself.
19:58That wild god Pan's always pulling power grabs.
20:02But Poseidon?
20:03Guy's long gone.
20:05Probably fish food in some trench.
20:07Right?
20:07Sea god myth, ancient history.
20:10Wanna bet?
20:10There ain't no Sea King anymore!
20:23The world's the same as ever.
20:26The dead are louder than the living.
20:28Who the hell are you?
20:29You're in Hades territory, asshole!
20:43Poseidon?
20:44Poseidon?
20:53Is Hades still breathing?
20:55If he is, tell him to get his ass out here.
21:02Who the fuck is tearing up my domain?!
21:10I don't have time for this.
21:11I'm not wasting it on you.
21:13I need a background check.
21:19You know who I am?
21:21Hades' Ace.
21:22You crash my spot, you die here!
21:47Little fish.
21:55Hades' staff?
21:57One shot?
21:58The Sea King!
22:00He's real!
22:02Hades!
22:04You hiding?
22:05Come out!
22:06Or this whole place turns into driftwood!
22:09One!
22:11Two!
22:15Thank the fates!
22:17The boss is here!
22:22Boss!
22:23This bum!
22:30You idiot!
22:31Piss off the lord of the oceans and we all drown!
22:34You're done!
22:34Get out!
22:36In front of Poseidon,
22:37you're ants.
22:38I'm saving your worthless heights.
22:45My lord,
22:46is this handling satisfactory?
22:48I'm not here for fun.
22:50Dig up everything on that Leora and her daughter.
22:56Understood.
22:57I'll mobilize every team right now.
22:59You have three days.
23:01I'll be back.
23:05Everyone!
23:06Drop what you're doing!
23:07Full sweep on the Leora and child!
23:10Every resource, every contact.
23:12Now!
23:13Tell them Poseidon's back!
23:14Yes, boss!
23:22Poseidon's back.
23:23Let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point.
23:33Dillon wants the woman dead.
23:35Kid comes with us alive.
23:36She's still hurt.
23:38Easy pickets.
23:39Let's move.
23:52We'll make a nice stew.
23:53Surprise daddy for lunch?
23:55Ha ha ha ha ha!
24:00Ha ha ha ha!
24:02A forest nymph playing happy home mater?
24:06Pathetic.
24:09Who are you?
24:11Dillon's orders.
24:12Come quietly to the stronghold.
24:15Or I drag your corpse back.
24:18Mommy?
24:18Who's the ugly goat man?
24:21Hand over the kid!
24:30Stay away from my daughter!
24:32Don't you dare touch her!
24:49Mommy! You're bleeding!
24:51This forest is locked down.
24:54Surrender now!
24:55I'll go with you.
24:57On one condition.
24:59Let my daughter go!
25:01No! Mommy!
25:02I'm not leaving you!
25:04Ha ha ha!
25:14Kid's mine.
25:15You die.
25:19You...
25:20Poisoned me?
25:23My poison fog.
25:25The more you fight, the faster it rots you from the inside.
25:29Give up!
25:31You've gone too far.
25:33Even if I die today, I'm not letting you win.
25:38You're wounded.
25:40Poisoned.
25:42Done.
25:43The kid's coming with me.
25:47Don't touch her!
25:48Come at me!
25:50Feisty one.
25:52Dillon wants you dead.
25:54But first, I'm gonna have some fun.
25:56Don't touch her.
26:02Don't touch her!
26:05Ah!
26:10Ah!
26:19Hallelujah!
26:21Yeah!
26:23Dillon can not die!
26:24Yeah...
26:24Oh, please.
26:26You're dead!
26:26Serve me well, and I might let her run a little longer.
26:37Lily!
26:44Daddy?
26:50Your hands off her!
26:59You touch my woman, you're a dead man.
27:08Jack, what the hell just happened?
27:14You okay, babe?
27:15So you're the boyfriend.
27:17Too bad, I'll snap every bone in your body with one hand.
27:33Ow!
27:45If I pull this vine, the whole cliff goes with us, demon.
27:50Run all you want!
27:51My pack tears you both apart!
27:53Run all you want!
28:23Ahhh!
28:25Cough! Cough! Cough!
28:28Huh!
28:52Daddy, don't leave Mommy.
28:55I don't want to lose her.
28:57Shh, Lily, don't cry.
28:59Daddy promises Mommy's gonna be okay.
29:01We're going back for her right now.
29:09Hand over the kid.
29:11I'll make your death quick.
29:20Lily, turn around and cover your ears, okay?
29:25Daddy's gonna do a little magic trick.
29:28Okay.
29:31You are the best.
29:41Some nobody dare stare me down?
29:44You're asking to die.
29:48You're not human.
29:50Who the hell are you?
29:51My daughter's here, so I'm keeping it clean.
29:54Disappear.
30:13Okay, Lily.
30:15You can turn around now.
30:19Daddy?
30:20What happened to the bad guy?
30:23He got so dazzled by how cute you are, he just passed out.
30:32Lily, stay right here inside this circle.
30:34Don't move.
30:35Daddy's gonna help Mommy beat the bad guys.
30:38I'll be right back.
30:43Daddy, be careful.
30:46Don't worry, Lily.
30:47No one's ever beaten your dad.
30:55That poison's eaten you alive, little nymph.
30:58How much longer you got?
31:00Let me have my fun first.
31:03So what?
31:04I'll drag you to hell with me before I die.
31:18Damn.
31:19You take a hit well.
31:21Let's enjoy this body.
31:23Then, I'll turn you into my eternal trophy.
31:26For Jack and Lily, even if I die, I'm taking this beast down with me.
31:33No signal?
31:34You trying to hog the glory?
31:36More coming.
31:37Killing one won't save Jack and Lily.
31:39No choice.
31:40I'm taking them down with me.
31:42This the woman Dylan wants?
31:43Where the kid?
31:45Some guy took the brat.
31:48Useless.
31:49Grab her first.
31:50Then we hunt the child.
31:55Just...
31:56let Jack and Lily be safe.
32:01You all want to come at once?
32:03Then die together.
32:04Pick your graves.
32:17Why did you come back?
32:19Where's Lily?
32:23Lily?
32:24Lily's safe.
32:24Don't push yourself.
32:28So this is the woman's secret lover.
32:31Her taste is trash.
32:33Beg now.
32:34And maybe I'll leave your corpses in one piece.
32:37Refuse, and you'll be screaming.
32:40End it fast.
32:44You...
32:44In our eyes, you're not even an enemy.
32:47Just weeds to be crushed under feet.
32:50Just hold on a little longer.
32:53Jack means more to me than anything.
32:55I won't let him get hurt.
33:06You want my husband?
33:08Step over my corpse first!
33:11In a hurry to die?
33:13Fine!
33:13I'll oblige!
33:42You're half dead already!
33:45How the hell did you knock me back?!
33:47The sea is sinking, those are Poseidon's warriors!
33:52This... can't be...
34:18Ancient Ekethra! The coastal legend monster?! Why would she be here?!
34:25Ha ha ha! Our boss has real backing! He summoned three of Poseidon's elite guards!
34:31No matter how strong you are, kneel and beg!
34:35They're coming for us. We're finished!
34:38Don't worry, darling. Things might turn around.
34:40Lyra Vale has been captured. Now we await the Sea King's warriors to execute this peasant.
34:48They're here for me! Jack, stay behind me!
34:51With me here, no one touches you.
34:54Stop saying that, Jack! Look around! We're surrounded! We could actually die here!
35:04My lords! Let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson!
35:11You worthless creature! You shouldn't even exist where I stand!
35:24Who dares show such insolence before the Lord of the Sea?
35:30Who knows his mind!
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