- 1 week ago
Holidays with the Twins [Full Movie] [Recommended]Full EP - Full
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01:06I mean, sometimes change the tune.
00:01:10I've got so much to tell you, but I think I love you, Niles.
00:01:18Sometimes I feel that, and then, I don't know, other times, not so much.
00:01:26Over the last week, I've had a lot of time to think about my life, my future work, you
00:01:31know, what I'm doing, who am I spending it with?
00:01:34Yeah.
00:01:35And, I don't know, like, the last week, we've connected, you know, better than ever before,
00:01:42but...
00:01:42I need to tell you something.
00:01:44Oh, no, just let me finish.
00:01:45I don't know what it is.
00:01:46Like, something feels different.
00:01:49I mean, it's like the spark in our relationship is back, and it's never been any better.
00:01:54Like, I don't know, maybe it's just me.
00:01:57Maybe I've had a lot of time to think, you know.
00:02:01Don't know.
00:02:08Maybe it's...
00:02:09Isn't it wrong?
00:02:13The one thing I'm sure about...
00:02:18is...
00:02:19I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:02:27Miles, wait.
00:02:31Gemma.
00:02:33Were you married then?
00:02:39I know it's just a band, but I promise you when I get the money, you know, I'll get you
00:02:43a diamond.
00:02:44What do you say?
00:02:51I've got something to come first.
00:02:54What?
00:02:55I'm not Gemma.
00:02:58You are?
00:03:01I'm not Gemma.
00:03:08You are joking, right?
00:03:21Not.
00:03:25I met Gemma just under a week and a half ago.
00:03:29And...
00:03:30It was half a year to be more related, and that we were twins.
00:03:34And...
00:03:34I mean...
00:03:36You were even surprised with the piano play.
00:03:50Myles, please.
00:03:51Can you explain?
00:03:52John, I...
00:03:53You could have just said no, all right?
00:03:55Instead of making that ridiculous story.
00:04:00Look, it's...
00:04:01Myles, please.
00:04:25Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:04:31Barrel problem?
00:04:34I'm so subtle.
00:05:01Don't blow this rubbish too long.
00:05:03I don't want my electric to go on through my roof.
00:05:07Come on, Trey.
00:05:09Have a dance.
00:05:10Yeah, come on, Trey.
00:05:13Some of us have work to do.
00:05:18Work?
00:05:18You've not had a job since 1997.
00:05:22Cheeky.
00:05:23I'm working.
00:05:24Alright.
00:05:25I'm working.
00:05:29Definitely a scam.
00:05:45Linda's a tenner mum.
00:05:47Not my other money.
00:05:48Don't be so stingy I don't get paid for another two weeks.
00:05:52I'm sure I can work somewhere out.
00:05:53You won a job.
00:05:55Cash in hand.
00:05:56Sounds good.
00:05:57What, are you scheming?
00:05:58Me?
00:05:59Scheming?
00:06:07Tracy's luxury getaway isn't this about?
00:06:09No you mine.
00:06:10More than mine.
00:06:12Okay.
00:06:13You remember that holiday letter scheme I had.
00:06:17Well you're going to have to be more specific than that.
00:06:19The cockroaches.
00:06:21Oh gross, yeah.
00:06:22What about it?
00:06:22Yeah.
00:06:22Well those cheap places, they don't give refunds do they?
00:06:26They give vouchers.
00:06:28But I ran that scheme five times before they worked it out.
00:06:31Now I've got good credit.
00:06:33Okay.
00:06:35So I now rent a place, sublet it on my website.
00:06:43I've put a few targeted adverts in posh areas.
00:06:47Surely this can't work?
00:06:49It has.
00:06:51I've just rented an art deco cottage.
00:06:54I've rented it a couple of days either side.
00:06:57So you can go in, sort the place out.
00:06:59Then clean up before the real owners get in and check it out.
00:07:04How much then?
00:07:06Fifty quid.
00:07:11Deal.
00:07:17Oh god, it's me Ed.
00:07:18What's the E1?
00:07:24Hello.
00:07:26Yes, this is she.
00:07:29Yes.
00:07:30I've just got your booking.
00:07:33Oh, erm, I'm just wondering how private and secure your listing is.
00:07:37Yes, the family does need security in a private environment.
00:07:41Don't worry.
00:07:42It's a lovely, quiet area.
00:07:45Perfect for walks.
00:07:47Oh, excellent.
00:07:49One of our parties will be coming and arriving on the Saturday.
00:07:53And the rest of the parties will be arriving the following day.
00:07:57Perfect.
00:07:59And you're happy to pay for the security in advance?
00:08:04Oh yes, of course.
00:08:05That's not a problem.
00:08:07Wonderful.
00:08:09You will, of course, get it back when we've checked over the property after your client
00:08:14leaves.
00:08:15Oh, wonderful.
00:08:17If I have any more questions, I'll give you another ring.
00:08:20I'm happy to have served you, madam.
00:08:23Okay, goodbye.
00:08:24Bye-bye.
00:08:26Is everything gone fact?
00:08:28Oh yes, Princess, your getaway makes.
00:08:31Would you like me to tell this in Her Majesty?
00:08:34No, no.
00:08:35I'll tell the mother, won't you?
00:08:37Is anything wrong, Princess?
00:08:39You do look as though you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders.
00:08:44I have something to tell them when we're on holiday.
00:08:46And you don't think they're going to be very happy with me?
00:08:50I'm happy to listen.
00:08:53Perhaps I'm just being silly.
00:08:56Anyway, we need to look at next week's schedule.
00:09:01Of course.
00:09:03Is she a child?
00:09:05Mmm.
00:09:16Mmm.
00:09:17Mmm.
00:09:17Oh my, we're falling.
00:09:19James, what are you doing?
00:09:20You're going to choke?
00:09:22Oh yes.
00:09:36I told you.
00:09:37Shut up.
00:09:43Do you think there should be more to life than there?
00:09:45What do you mean?
00:09:47I feel stuck, you know.
00:09:49Same old job, same old friends, same old...
00:09:51Ever of a friend, you know.
00:09:53Until I win lottery or marry a prince, this is all we've got.
00:09:59And what about us?
00:10:00What do you mean?
00:10:01Where do you see us heading?
00:10:02I'm not having kids if that's what you mean.
00:10:04No, I don't mean...
00:10:04My mum will kill me if I make her a grandmother.
00:10:08I'm being silly.
00:10:09She's got a knife in the garage.
00:10:10Bigger and Rambos.
00:10:13You said you had something to tell me.
00:10:15Is that it?
00:10:16No, it's my mum.
00:10:26What is it?
00:10:27Which one is it?
00:10:40It's gorgeous.
00:10:42A little bohemian.
00:10:43What do you know about bohemian?
00:10:45You're a Pontings girl.
00:10:46Watch it, trappy.
00:10:49Besides, I wish I could stay here.
00:10:52It's already spotless.
00:10:53What do we do then?
00:10:55Well, we've got to clean up her for ourselves
00:10:56and then we've got to swap the brochures and the guest books to me mum
00:10:59so they think it's hers.
00:11:00Oh, easy.
00:11:02Besides, we wouldn't make that much mess, will we?
00:11:11You know what?
00:11:12Huh?
00:11:13Mine's don't excite me anymore.
00:11:16What about that fella that tried chatting us up in the club last week?
00:11:20He was fit.
00:11:21Oh, no, no.
00:11:22I don't.
00:11:23Yeah, well, it miles your time.
00:11:27It used to be able.
00:11:28I don't know.
00:11:29No beats my ass.
00:11:31Hm?
00:11:32Yeah.
00:11:42Oh.
00:11:55Stop!
00:11:56Don't take my pillows away!
00:11:58These are my pillows, love.
00:12:08Oh my god! They're checking in in an hour!
00:12:11Quickly!
00:12:14Keep your head on.
00:12:20Hey. Oh yeah, Mum.
00:12:23Oh yeah, we're fine.
00:12:25We're just doing final checks and that.
00:12:28Yeah, yeah, when the first person arrives.
00:12:32Yeah, yeah, fine, fine.
00:12:34Yeah, later.
00:12:38Clean up! Now!
00:12:40Okay.
00:13:17Oh, great, we're here.
00:13:20Oh, finally.
00:13:22It'd be so good to just relax and not have to think about my duties.
00:13:25And I've just got one last email to send.
00:13:27Oh, okay. I'll go and grab the keys.
00:13:49Oh, excuse me.
00:13:51Morning.
00:13:52I mean, sorry a bit.
00:13:53Lay-lay-lay.
00:13:53No problem.
00:13:55We're just finished.
00:13:56Erm, I've got the keys here for you.
00:13:58Oh, thank you.
00:14:01I'll give these to my boss.
00:14:02Right, tell.
00:14:03No problem.
00:14:03I'll just go grab my colleague.
00:14:31Nobody says I can.
00:14:33Please.
00:14:33Please, please.
00:14:34Please, please.
00:14:34Okay, all you have to do it for your Therefore of I Ammon.
00:14:34the train all right me auntie wants her nails doing and she's always generous
00:14:40I'll see you later sweet
00:14:48I'm shooting up have a lovely step oh thank you
00:15:00I think I'll go crashing down she's meant to realize the right and he had it over here
00:15:04oh are you sure you'll be okay you might just oh yes there's a little shop just down the road
00:15:12a corner shop have you ever been in a shop before is it like handrains
00:15:28you
00:16:01Oh, wow, you really are letting it all hang out, aren't you, Princess?
00:16:07Oh, you should put a cardigan on in case of the paparazzi.
00:16:11Oh, and to keep you warm.
00:16:13What?
00:16:15I'll have to run now, Princess.
00:16:17Excuse me.
00:16:18Oh.
00:16:20I've got to go and do a shift at the teabag factory and have a hot pot.
00:16:27Oh, you do amuse me, Princess.
00:16:29Call me Princess again and I'll show you how amusing I can be.
00:16:34There are, love.
00:16:49Sorry, love.
00:16:50I mean, madam, I've just left my phone.
00:16:53I'll just grab it.
00:17:03No.
00:17:04Don't mind me.
00:17:18Listen, I've had the place redecorated.
00:17:21Now, I've already put in some scratches so they'll knock 10% off, but you'll have to pay for the
00:17:26rest.
00:17:30Maybe it's time your constituencies and your wife found out what it is you get up to.
00:17:40Don't get funny with me, buddy boy.
00:17:42I've still got the photos.
00:17:44You've got plenty of money.
00:17:49Good.
00:17:50That's better.
00:17:52Now, I'll want it in my account by the end of the day.
00:17:58Who was that?
00:17:59Mayor.
00:18:00What?
00:18:01I used to date him about 10 years back.
00:18:05You wouldn't believe the dirt I've got on him.
00:18:10Oh, my gosh.
00:18:12That's a girl I feel sorry for.
00:18:15Anyway, what can I do for you, lover boy?
00:18:19I've come to see Gemma.
00:18:21Oh, she's not here.
00:18:22She's at our holiday cottage.
00:18:25You've got a holiday cottage?
00:18:26Yes.
00:18:27Well, kind of.
00:18:29Anyway, she'll be back in a few hours.
00:18:35This is well bizarre.
00:18:39Maybe we're dogs, Genghis.
00:18:41I think they're a bit more than lookalikes, flower.
00:18:44So, what are we?
00:18:46Who's your dad?
00:18:49Well, my father is king of a small island and a British rule.
00:18:54That's good.
00:18:55Because my mum's the queen of she, beloved.
00:18:57Is she broken?
00:19:00Oh, he was born in this country.
00:19:03They had to reside here during the coup.
00:19:06The island of Marlond is crowned to it, unfortunately.
00:19:09We did try to move back.
00:19:11But ended up right here.
00:19:14So, technically, my father is nothing more than a lord.
00:19:20Well, that sucks.
00:19:22Was your dad a bit of a lathario?
00:19:24I beg your pardon?
00:19:26I never met my dad.
00:19:28My mum says they were like ships passing at night.
00:19:31He might have done everything more than a night, would they?
00:19:33I mean, 33 years ago.
00:19:36What's your birthday?
00:19:38April 1st.
00:19:40Mine too.
00:19:44But I'm 39.
00:19:47Fine, all right.
00:19:49I'm 39.
00:19:52We're always new twins.
00:19:53Everything matches.
00:19:54Well, how are we going to find out?
00:19:56Hang on.
00:20:01Where are you?
00:20:02I've got a question for you, Mum.
00:20:04All right, let's be out.
00:20:06Was my old man a king or the lord?
00:20:09What are you talking about?
00:20:11Are you taking the mick?
00:20:13No, do you reckon he was?
00:20:15He were barely a court, just a love.
00:20:19Well, I don't suppose you had two kids and gave one away.
00:20:24Have you been drinking again?
00:20:37I mean, it's impossible.
00:20:39My mother gave birth to me.
00:20:41Well, it's a mystery.
00:20:45Hold on.
00:20:48You're kidding me.
00:20:50What?
00:20:51I'm just dreaming.
00:20:52Wait.
00:20:54What the hell are you?
00:20:57You're not dreaming.
00:20:59It's real.
00:21:00Look, I'm going to have to go soon.
00:21:03Why?
00:21:04Yeah, I've got to get back on the grind.
00:21:06I can't sit here with you all day being a princess.
00:21:10Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
00:21:13I can assure you.
00:21:15Yeah, well, try being me.
00:21:17Trying to scrape by with a boring boyfriend who I'm pretty sure can't stand me right now.
00:21:24Let alone me mother.
00:21:25Christ!
00:21:26She's not nice.
00:21:30I wouldn't say that, but she's just complicated.
00:21:34She must be doing all right, though.
00:21:37She has a second property.
00:21:39So what's so bad about your life, princess?
00:21:42Well, I'm expected to act a certain way, inject a certain image, and, well, I just don't feel true to
00:21:54myself.
00:21:55I have to have dinners with nords, ladies, politicians, kings, and queens sometimes.
00:22:04I mean, I even used to date William before we met Kate.
00:22:07Seriously?
00:22:09Yes.
00:22:11It's just such an effort having to dress up all the time and be so demure.
00:22:28Well, we went to a garden a few weeks ago, and there was a lady playing the piano.
00:22:35I've been learning the piano for years, and I stopped to listen to her.
00:22:44But my mother wouldn't let me.
00:22:48She said she was merely the hired help.
00:22:51I just didn't understand why they made me learn to play if I wasn't ever able to.
00:23:01I felt so trapped.
00:23:05And she just looked so free.
00:23:08Well, I can tell you being the hired help.
00:23:10Ain't what it's cracked up to be.
00:23:14I'd love to feel important.
00:23:17You know, be the centre of attention.
00:23:21I have an idea.
00:23:24What?
00:23:27Why don't we swap the houses for a week?
00:23:30You're having a laugh, aren't you?
00:23:33No, I'm being serious.
00:23:35A week?
00:23:39Why not?
00:23:40We're identical.
00:23:42We just need to go over everything that we need to know.
00:23:50Booker it.
00:23:52Mine out.
00:23:53You're serious, that's true.
00:24:01You're terrible.
00:24:06I'm having a laugh.
00:24:07You're terrible.
00:24:16I love you.
00:24:18You're terrible.
00:24:18Love you.
00:24:21I love you.
00:24:22Don't dépossVoice.
00:24:23You're terrible.
00:24:24I'm going to go over everything.
00:24:38Sorry. I know it's late. How are you getting on?
00:24:43Getting there.
00:24:46I have an idea.
00:24:48Keep me with it.
00:24:50Well, I know a photographer, and I can get access to his studio in the morning, so we could go
00:24:57through the physical side of it all.
00:24:58What do you mean?
00:25:02Well, you walk like a member of Oasis. No offence. None taken.
00:25:09I need to teach you how to walk, talk, and eat like a princess.
00:25:12What next? Poop like a princess?
00:25:16How vulgar.
00:25:17Yeah. I've got my work cut out for me. Sorry.
00:25:22You get some sleep now. You've got to start early before my family arrives.
00:25:29I want to talk like a princess
00:25:34I want to walk like a princess
00:25:51But I'm not going to be your princess
00:25:56But I'm not going to be your princess
00:25:57I'm gonna be my own princess
00:25:59My own princess
00:26:03Be my own princess
00:26:10I am going to be my princess
00:26:13I am going to talk like a princess
00:26:17I am going to walk like a princess
00:26:24I am going to dress like a princess
00:26:30I am going to be my own princess
00:26:41I am going to be my own princess
00:27:03Yeah, me mum and me boyfriend want to know where I am
00:27:07You want to do this?
00:27:10Sure
00:27:12Yeah
00:27:13Yeah
00:27:15I'll get Connie to pick you up from here
00:27:17And I'll get a new Uber to take to me, Duff
00:27:24I think
00:27:25Well, don't
00:27:25Eleanor's isn't in Uber
00:27:26And doesn't
00:27:27No, I didn't
00:27:28Get that
00:27:30We're going to have to swap clothes, too
00:27:34Oh, this is really comfy
00:27:38Well, you need to do something
00:27:39And straighten up
00:27:40Shoulders back
00:27:45You know, good luck
00:27:47I'll get a taxi to pick you up and drop me off at mine
00:27:49It's just opposite the flower shop
00:27:54I'm nervous
00:27:55Well, I'd say it don't be
00:27:56But me mum can be a bit scarier sometimes
00:28:12Good morning
00:28:13You all right?
00:28:16Nice
00:28:16Your family's waiting for the holiday, Cartier
00:28:21Spiffing
00:28:22One's high tea
00:28:23High tea?
00:28:25Yeah, like cucumber sandwiches and all that
00:28:30All that
00:28:33Are you playing with me?
00:28:35Oh
00:28:37Yeah, you got me
00:28:41After you, your own highness
00:29:03I do
00:29:04How do?
00:29:06And
00:29:06A
00:29:07A
00:29:07A
00:29:09A
00:29:10A
00:29:10A
00:29:10Have a
00:29:11But
00:29:14What about you, Ed?
00:29:16Bloody hell, Gemma
00:29:17I only saw you yesterday
00:29:20You've been on the extra insiders last night
00:29:37You've been on the extra insiders last night
00:29:49So, look
00:29:51Was Gemma with you last night?
00:29:53No, I thought she was back here
00:29:59Well, erm, I just fancied a night out
00:30:03I mean
00:30:04Is that a try?
00:30:06Do what you like
00:30:08I had to entertain your dopey boyfriend
00:30:14Oh, Miles, for God's sake
00:30:16Bloody hell, lad
00:30:17It's like looking in a butcher's window
00:30:18Cover yourself up
00:30:19James
00:30:20Can we, er
00:30:21Can we have a chat later?
00:30:49Can we have a chat later?
00:30:53Oh, come in
00:30:55Oh, thank God
00:30:56We've been stuck here without any help for an hour
00:30:59It's been frightful
00:31:01We're dying for a cup of tea
00:31:02I've no idea how the contraption works
00:31:05The thing
00:31:07You mean the kettle
00:31:09Or that
00:31:10Don't worry, your majesty
00:31:12I'll make the tea
00:31:13Is Diana here yet?
00:31:16She's, er, outside in the courtyard
00:31:18Oh, God
00:31:21Right
00:31:23Oh, what's the matter, your majesty?
00:31:25Since when do you call father now, your majesty and lady?
00:31:30I'm sorry, mother
00:31:32Did Nancy do your make-up?
00:31:35It's too much
00:31:36You look like one of those American princesses
00:31:39I did my make-up
00:31:41Well, it looks like you've used a spray can, darling
00:31:44Have your sister do it
00:31:46Nancy has the week off
00:31:47Diana?
00:31:49Yes, Diana
00:31:50Go on
00:31:51Shoo-shoo
00:31:57Hey, sis
00:32:01You've never called me sis before
00:32:04And
00:32:05Heavens, who did your make-up?
00:32:07A mortician
00:32:09Um, mother's asked you to help me
00:32:13Fine
00:32:26Oh, it's great
00:32:28Don't make habit of it
00:32:31Thank you, Diana
00:32:32I don't think you've thanked me
00:32:34For anything
00:32:36Oh
00:32:39Sorry
00:32:41And you've never apologised, either
00:32:43Did you get a visit from three ghosts last night?
00:32:46Did they know they're too late for Christmas?
00:32:50So
00:32:52What do you think about the holiday cottage?
00:32:55I don't know what possessed you to book this
00:32:56When we could have gone to Uncle Giles' chateau
00:32:58In Monaco
00:33:01I think it's nice to switch things up a little
00:33:04You're odd today, Corinthia
00:33:06Very
00:33:07Very odd
00:33:08I'm just happy to see you
00:33:10Ew
00:33:11Look, just
00:33:12Pick out a nice dress
00:33:13Daddy's been invited to love with Nell's latest gathering
00:33:16Where to make our token appearances
00:33:20Is it going to be posh?
00:33:23Lords
00:33:23Dignitaries
00:33:24Royalty
00:33:25Not flush at all, darling
00:33:29Did you bang your head?
00:33:51Alright, love
00:33:52I was about in bed all year
00:34:03And they are gonna find out
00:34:08Is they're gonna find out
00:34:10About you
00:34:12I know your secret
00:34:16Oh my God
00:34:17Imposter
00:34:22Oh, this is an open bar, is it not?
00:34:28The bar is paid for, yes.
00:34:33Drink Connie?
00:34:36I can't, I'm working.
00:34:39I think you just need to relax.
00:34:42You look a little uptight.
00:34:50Come on, let's go out.
00:34:58Better get off soon, covering someone's shift.
00:35:03I really want to go clubbing tonight instead.
00:35:05Oh, I don't, yeah.
00:35:08Because if I don't work, I don't get paid.
00:35:10Don't get paid, can't pay me bill.
00:35:12On and on it goes.
00:35:13Right.
00:35:14You can't just ask for some money off your parents.
00:35:16That's my jailbird, Daddy.
00:35:20If you had a loob buried somewhere, I wouldn't tell me where it was.
00:35:23Mum's more broke than me.
00:35:28How long have we known each other now?
00:35:32Blimey.
00:35:33What were we?
00:35:35Ball, pies, back in primary school.
00:35:38And a lifetime of shenanigans ever since.
00:35:45Did I ever tell you about me, Dad?
00:35:47Only that your mum didn't know who it was.
00:35:50She thinks she's lying about that.
00:35:54Honestly, I never know where you're, Ma.
00:35:56What, she's a lover.
00:36:00Should we get ready for Miles?
00:36:03Yeah.
00:36:04Look, if you're going to dump him, let him down gently.
00:36:08Alright?
00:36:10He's a nice guy.
00:36:12Why was she, I mean, why would I dump him?
00:36:14How about Armie Grant?
00:36:15Do you remember her?
00:36:16Or Daphne Breen?
00:36:18Huh?
00:36:18Oh, never mind.
00:36:20Go easy on him, alright?
00:36:24Yeah, okay.
00:36:26Do you know the way to Nashall?
00:36:28That's where we've got a meeting.
00:36:30You don't remember?
00:36:31Well, not exactly, no.
00:36:32Throw her a cab with me.
00:36:33We'll dump you off on the way, sweet.
00:36:35Hm.
00:36:56Honestly, Carinthia, I've never seen you act like that before.
00:37:10What were you drinking?
00:37:12Not beer, was it?
00:37:15It was bitter, Papa.
00:37:18A princess does not drink bitter.
00:37:22Beer, larder, or anything you might find in a public house.
00:37:28Unless it's high-class spirits, like champagne.
00:37:33And good champagne at that.
00:37:35Can I not drink cider?
00:37:38What?
00:37:39It was a genuine question.
00:37:41Listen, Carinthia, you need to start to improve your behaviour.
00:37:45We have our reputation to uphold.
00:37:50Show some decorum.
00:37:52I'm not doing that, okay.
00:37:59Well, that went surprisingly well.
00:38:05Anyway, what's the decor?
00:38:10It's like 80 kids.
00:38:12You took classes in it.
00:38:16Oh.
00:38:24You've upset your father, young lady.
00:38:27I'm 39, you're mad.
00:38:29Mother.
00:38:31Well, perhaps you should act like it.
00:38:33Now, we have something important for you to do next week.
00:38:36Father has some friends in Switzerland.
00:38:38Very upper crust.
00:38:40He's told them you spent two years at RADA and performed plays across Europe.
00:38:45Why'd you tell them that?
00:38:48Because you did, Carinthia.
00:38:51So, we'd like you to do a short performance for them.
00:38:55We've booked a rehearsal space in two days.
00:38:58We'll let you know what play it is when we decide.
00:39:01But you know them all off by heart, anyway.
00:39:05Gee.
00:39:07Thanks.
00:39:09Stick to her like glue.
00:39:11Make sure she's focused.
00:39:12And no more foolishness.
00:39:15Okay, Connie?
00:39:17Yes, Your Majesty.
00:39:20Okay.
00:39:31Miles?
00:39:35Miles?
00:39:37Are you here?
00:39:42Miles?
00:39:45Miles?
00:39:49Miles?
00:39:50Miles?
00:39:50Miles?
00:39:50Miles?
00:39:51Miles?
00:39:51Miles?
00:39:51Miles?
00:39:51Miles?
00:39:53Miles?
00:39:54Miles?
00:39:55Miles?
00:39:57Miles?
00:40:00Miles?
00:40:01Miles?
00:40:02Miles?
00:40:02Miles?
00:40:03Miles?
00:40:03Miles?
00:40:04Miles?
00:40:04Miles?
00:40:05Miles?
00:40:06Miles?
00:40:07Miles?
00:40:07Miles?
00:40:09Miles?
00:41:42Gemma, that was amazing.
00:41:45Like, I'm genuinely stunned.
00:41:48It was nothing.
00:41:50Why didn't you say you could play music? I mean, I know you went to acting school, but music? You
00:41:56should have said.
00:41:59People like me don't get to show off, really. Besides, one cares.
00:42:05I care. I love music.
00:42:09You do?
00:42:12You know I do. I used to play when I was younger.
00:42:14I do. No one here as good as I. That was brilliant.
00:42:19Right.
00:42:26This ice is nothing.
00:42:28Yeah. It's, um...
00:42:32It's not a bad place to work, is it?
00:42:34What do you do?
00:42:37Gemma, I told you about this last time I was here.
00:42:41Like, you're in your own pub sometimes, I sort of.
00:42:44I'm the maintenance guy, so I make sure the stage mechanics and the sound are ticked up.
00:42:51How marvelous.
00:42:59Um, I need to lock up now, okay? So, why don't we go for a walk and go to the
00:43:05pub? Have a game of darts? Yeah, let's have a game of darts and a few drinks.
00:43:11Um, why don't we go on a walk? I mean, it's a lovely day out and, uh, do you know
00:43:20any good viewpoints?
00:43:25Sure, yeah. And maybe we can have a chat about things.
00:43:36You sure it's not dodgy?
00:43:38Would I do anything dodgy?
00:43:41Well, where'd you get them?
00:43:43They were in the line at, uh, a jewellers I do some cleaning at. They were just going to throw
00:43:48it out, don't we?
00:43:49Ow!
00:43:50It's not like cabbage, Trace.
00:43:52It's a story!
00:43:56Hey, what's up in it?
00:43:59Even some diamonds?
00:44:01Of course, I'll give them a cut once we've sold it.
00:44:05But what I need you to do is to pass it off on a couple of porn shops in town.
00:44:09Why can't you do it?
00:44:11You know I would, but I've heard many.
00:44:13And technically, I'm on disability benefits, so, uh, they can't seek me rushing up and downtown.
00:44:20You know, between porn shops.
00:44:23Hmm.
00:44:24Think about it.
00:44:25I don't think too long, love.
00:44:36Oh, careful.
00:44:38You all right?
00:44:40Yeah.
00:44:43You know, it's so beautiful out here.
00:44:47It's so peaceful.
00:44:50Yeah, I know.
00:44:51It's, it's, well, I come up here quite a lot, you know, to clear my head, and.
00:44:57Yeah, I can see why.
00:45:00Really?
00:45:02Well, this, this isn't your cup of tea, James.
00:45:04Right?
00:45:05You, you never really wanted to do this.
00:45:07I'm awful, mate.
00:45:11Yeah, I suppose.
00:45:16You cold?
00:45:18Yeah, it's chillier than I thought.
00:45:22Come here.
00:45:26This isn't normal.
00:45:28Really?
00:45:29Yeah.
00:45:32But, right now, normally it's a, Huggins woke and, lock your ass off.
00:45:41What did you need to tell me?
00:45:50Do you think we're good together?
00:45:51What do you mean?
00:45:53I don't know.
00:45:54Sometimes I feel like you're not really that into me.
00:45:58No, I'm sorry.
00:46:00Sometimes I just get caught up in myself.
00:46:03Look.
00:46:05You're really warm hearted and you're wonderful.
00:46:08I mean, is that, that's a bit forward of me to say.
00:46:12Not really, James.
00:46:13Like, we, we have been going out for a year now.
00:46:22Come on.
00:46:24Shall I get you home?
00:46:50Something that I tell.
00:46:52You wouldn't care, sister.
00:46:54You'd never do.
00:46:55Of course I do.
00:46:57Shouldn't you be offering a grovelling apology to Mumsy and Dadsy?
00:47:01Dadsy already gave me a rollicking.
00:47:04Rollicking?
00:47:05Yeah, you know what I mean.
00:47:09Must say, I find it rather amusing.
00:47:16Okay, sis.
00:47:19What's his name?
00:47:20What's he doing?
00:47:22How on earth do you know?
00:47:25Hmm.
00:47:26I knew that luck.
00:47:28Come on then, Maradie Bomb.
00:47:33It's Nathaniel.
00:47:35He's up to his old tricks again.
00:47:37Father is insistent that he's going to make an excellent husband.
00:47:41What?
00:47:42He's only considering Nathaniel's family and their standing.
00:47:46As for Nathaniel himself.
00:47:49So he's more on that?
00:47:52Yes.
00:47:53I suppose so.
00:47:58He might have been born with him for wealth, but...
00:48:01Not so much of a brain.
00:48:05What is Nathaniel done?
00:48:09Oh, he can't keep his hands off the maids.
00:48:13His father set a fire several of the house staff for fraternising with Nathaniel after dark.
00:48:19Oh.
00:48:20So he can't be trusted?
00:48:22God, it's ridiculous.
00:48:24These men in high society are almost expected to behave like this and suffer no consequences.
00:48:29Hmm.
00:48:30Oh.
00:48:31You should suffer consequences like a swift knee to the family jewels.
00:48:35Sister!
00:48:38Perhaps you're right.
00:48:41Besides,
00:48:43those 12 months studying judo under Grand Master Takashi that father paid for,
00:48:48I suppose I could put them to good use.
00:48:55What's over you two?
00:48:59Don't settle for second best.
00:49:03Always follow your heart.
00:49:06I mean, you might not always be right.
00:49:10Would it be your bad?
00:49:13And not father's judgement?
00:49:15Mm-hmm.
00:49:19I suppose I should get ready to face him.
00:49:21I'm going to Nathaniel's family manor tonight with Mumsy and Dadsy.
00:49:29Forget the bit about the knee to the spuds.
00:49:31We did.
00:49:35Just be firm.
00:49:37And honest.
00:49:43Mmm.
00:50:03A cup of tea?
00:50:06I'm...
00:50:07Sure.
00:50:09You're not so surprised.
00:50:12You've never made a cup of tea before.
00:50:15You usually ask me.
00:50:18Well, I can assure you that I make a grape.
00:50:21So sit down.
00:50:23Your lights take away off.
00:50:27You seem very different.
00:50:49I'm impressed.
00:50:51It's only a cup of tea, Connie.
00:50:56Anyway, I've been an agony aunt all day.
00:50:59So if you want to chat, go away.
00:51:02Me?
00:51:04Chat?
00:51:05About what?
00:51:10Your love life?
00:51:13My love life?
00:51:15Good God!
00:51:17If you want to talk about disasters, let's talk about, I don't know, Pompeii or Titanic.
00:51:25So there's no man in your life?
00:51:28No.
00:51:29No man?
00:51:31No woman either.
00:51:36The truth is, working for a family of royals takes all my time.
00:51:41Don't get me wrong.
00:51:43Don't get me wrong.
00:51:43I do love it.
00:51:44But it takes all my time.
00:51:47And I am on call 24-7.
00:51:50Well, we need to set some boundaries and some terms.
00:51:54What?
00:51:54You know, workers' rights and all that.
00:52:00You, of all people, are saying that?
00:52:08Anyway, this tea looks like it needs biscuits.
00:52:13And I know you work with the royals and probably love a rich tea.
00:52:18But I prefer custard cream.
00:52:21Me too!
00:52:23Do you know what?
00:52:25I've got some upstairs in my suitcase.
00:52:29My guilty pleasure.
00:52:31Go grab them then.
00:52:43Yeah, I've got my daughter's mate to do it.
00:52:46She's going to do the ones for me.
00:52:48It's a bit silly, but I reckon there's a fair few grand there.
00:52:53How do you think I've got it?
00:52:56Five-finger discount, mate.
00:52:59Oh, yeah.
00:53:00You'd be surprised at what I've stolen.
00:53:03Ha, ha, ha.
00:53:16Whatever she's told you to do, don't do it.
00:53:18Why not?
00:53:19Well, I think she's doing something unlawful.
00:53:22Shock of her.
00:53:23So what?
00:53:23You can't take the risk for someone else.
00:53:27Lighten up, gems.
00:53:29You've been well uptight lately.
00:53:32Come on.
00:53:33Let's have a rave.
00:53:36Let's have some music.
00:53:38Let's have a rave.
00:53:38Let's have a rave.
00:53:40Can you continue here?
00:53:42Can you continue here?
00:53:43I love you.
00:53:45I love you.
00:53:46I love you.
00:53:46I love you.
00:53:47I love you.
00:53:48I love you.
00:53:49Oh, Christ.
00:53:50Look at my rave.
00:53:51I'm off extreme.
00:53:52Come on.
00:53:53Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:54:00That's more like it!
00:54:43This is...
00:54:45This is much nicer.
00:54:51Yes, actually.
00:55:16Yes, actually.
00:55:21I say, what are you two girls doing?
00:55:27We were just dancing, Your Majesty.
00:55:30Dancing? Why?
00:55:31I was teaching her how to dance.
00:55:36If I had a reason for Carina to dance, we would have hired a teacher.
00:55:41From the Royal London School of Ballet to teach her.
00:55:46We've tried that once, Ralph. She has no rhythm. Like Bambi on ice.
00:55:51Oh, yeah, it's yes. Of course. A word, Colony.
00:56:05Yeah, come in to see you.
00:56:08Right, come in to your mind, gentlemen.
00:56:11I think you need to start to focus a bit.
00:56:15We've got a busy year ahead. It's very important that everybody is on the ball.
00:56:21You have a reputation too.
00:56:24Right, you are Kingy.
00:56:26Kingy. Kingy.
00:56:28Sorry for that.
00:56:29Okay.
00:56:31Prepare for a performance to the theatre.
00:56:34I want to see your midsummer night's dream.
00:56:39On the best.
00:56:40Perhaps, Hamlet.
00:56:45Prepare yourself.
00:56:48You'll do a pre-run the day after tomorrow.
00:56:52And then next week, you'll perform in Switzerland.
00:56:58This is bad.
00:57:00I mean, I haven't acted in years in Shakespeare.
00:57:05It's so old.
00:57:07He's dead in me.
00:57:11I should hope so.
00:57:38To be.
00:58:02To be.
00:58:04Or not.
00:58:06To be.
00:58:08To be.
00:58:12Or not.
00:58:14To be.
00:58:16To be.
00:58:17To be.
00:58:18Or not.
00:58:19It's just too much for me.
00:58:23I'm not what you want.
00:58:35It's just too much for me.
00:58:36But...
00:58:42You all right?
00:58:43Oh.
00:58:44You finished for the day?
00:58:46Yeah, yeah.
00:58:47We need to get off now.
00:58:48Because there's a booking.
00:58:50But...
00:58:50And it's me at PA.
00:58:52Oh, yeah, yeah, um, I'll stay out of your way.
00:58:57And then we can go to the park.
00:59:15I...
00:59:16Oh, no, it's Miss Frempton.
00:59:18Is it? I think it's okay?
00:59:20Yeah, um, the lights are on, the theatre's yours,
00:59:24the caretaker will be back later to lock up when you're done.
00:59:26And I just need to go back inside to pack some stuff away
00:59:29and then I'll be gone.
00:59:34This is...
00:59:35King Ralph, Queen Christine, and their daughter,
00:59:40Princess Diana, of the Isle of Marwood.
00:59:43Um, it's... it's a real honour to meet you.
00:59:46I'm so sorry about my squirtly parents.
00:59:48Oh, I'm not at all. You're comfortable working very hard.
00:59:51I do me best.
00:59:54Can you show us to the theatre?
00:59:57Miss Corinthians here.
00:59:59Doing warm-up exercise, apparently.
01:00:04This way.
01:00:09Right.
01:00:10You get ready,
01:00:11and then head over to the maze stage.
01:00:14Do you want me to tell you where it is?
01:00:16I know where it is.
01:00:18Oh.
01:00:21Well...
01:00:22Good luck, then.
01:00:26Oh.
01:00:28Sorry, I... I thought...
01:00:34Honey!
01:00:36Oh.
01:00:48Drink, like.
01:01:00What's going on?
01:01:03Come on, darling.
01:01:04We haven't got all day.
01:01:14What's the matter with you?
01:01:17We've been through Summer Night's Dream a hundred times.
01:01:21I'm so stressed.
01:01:23I've got so much going on here.
01:01:24I just can't remember anything.
01:01:27Can you remember anything?
01:01:32My...
01:01:33The...
01:01:33The passage from Romeo and Juliet.
01:01:38I need you to be my wrong hand.
01:01:41Fine, fine.
01:01:42Okay.
01:01:55Romeo.
01:01:58Romeo.
01:02:01Please hold up.
01:02:04I remember.
01:02:08Can I...
01:02:10Thou...
01:02:11Will not...
01:02:14But be sworn in...
01:02:16By love.
01:02:20And I'll no longer be a cabinet.
01:02:32I'm in volleyball.
01:02:33What did I do?
01:02:48Are you okay, Your Majesty?
01:02:50It's...
01:02:51It's silly, really.
01:02:53I...
01:02:53I just got bittersweet memories of that play.
01:02:57I was watching a performance of Romeo and Juliet when my waters broke.
01:03:01Well, not very legal behaviour on my part.
01:03:04I'll be back out in a second.
01:03:11Is she again?
01:03:13Yes.
01:03:14Oh, she'll be back soon.
01:03:17I think we'll call it a dance performance.
01:03:20It was okay.
01:03:21I liked it, Quincy.
01:03:23But...
01:03:24I think...
01:03:25We were doing better off with one of the other plays.
01:03:29Mother wasn't a fan.
01:03:32Well...
01:03:32I think it was a play she was watching while she was in labour.
01:03:38Oh, dear.
01:03:41Oh, dear.
01:03:43Oh, my darling child.
01:03:46My little Juliet.
01:03:48I do wonder where you are.
01:03:59Mother.
01:04:00Are you okay?
01:04:02I'm sorry, my darling.
01:04:04I was being silly.
01:04:07Did you change already?
01:04:10I'm...
01:04:11Just very free.
01:04:15Who's Julie in with her?
01:04:18I'll wake up once.
01:04:19We can join you there.
01:04:31Fifth...
01:04:33He...
01:04:34He...
01:04:49Well, that's what Stacey said.
01:04:52Your mother's old cellmate.
01:04:54That's impossible.
01:04:55Is it, Gemma?
01:04:58We're twins.
01:04:59I mean, I know she messed up,
01:05:02but I just can't imagine her stealing a baby.
01:05:13Only me.
01:05:15Sorry, His Majesty wants his golf cardigan.
01:05:19We simply can't play without it, apparently.
01:05:22Who'd have thought that Gemma would have been so important, eh?
01:05:35Oh, my.
01:05:39Oh, my.
01:05:52Go.
01:06:06Are you okay, Connie?
01:06:11Carincia?
01:06:12Yeah.
01:06:14It's me.
01:06:19Gemma.
01:06:28So it was you this past week.
01:06:32I knew something was different.
01:06:36You're the bitter drinker.
01:06:39Bitter?
01:06:41That's not important.
01:06:50I'll let Gemma explain.
01:06:52It's all got rather complicated.
01:06:55So it better be good.
01:07:00Your devious mother sublet of this place.
01:07:02We don't even know, isn't it?
01:07:04I met Carinthia when you checked in.
01:07:07I mean, it was obvious we were related,
01:07:09and we just wanted to know the truth.
01:07:12But you swapped places.
01:07:15Kill me, I'll say.
01:07:17She was tired of her life, and...
01:07:21Well, I just wanted to know what it felt like
01:07:23to be a princess for a while.
01:07:26I mean, we knew deep down
01:07:28it had something to do with...
01:07:30I mean, Mum, if I can even call her that.
01:07:34But...
01:07:35What did she do?
01:07:37Well, it turns out
01:07:39she stole her baby when she was in prison
01:07:42on the basis of the mother didn't need to.
01:07:45It felt so awful.
01:07:47Yeah, and the king and queen kept it quiet.
01:07:51Well, I never heard anything about it.
01:07:54I can assure you.
01:07:56Yeah, but we need proof.
01:07:59We need to get evidence off me, Mum.
01:08:02You have to tell the king and queen.
01:08:04We need to sort me, Mum,
01:08:07Tracy out for this.
01:08:09And then we'll tell the king.
01:08:10I kept wondering why your voice was different.
01:08:14And the accent kept slipping.
01:08:19Look.
01:08:21This is the real me.
01:08:23I'm just a gobby Yorkshire lass.
01:08:27There.
01:08:29I quite like it.
01:08:33I don't know what
01:08:35this means between us, then.
01:08:42Us.
01:08:44I like you.
01:08:46I really like you.
01:08:50Oh.
01:08:52Well.
01:09:15This will take some explaining to do
01:09:18to my employers.
01:09:20It's my employers.
01:09:23Oh.
01:09:41Julia.
01:09:42what are you doing in my room how could you that's nothing why did you lie to me Tracy
01:09:52how did you find out well it turns out I met my twin sister the bona fide princess when my
01:10:00real
01:10:01family checked into the holiday cottage royals I knew they were rich but royals I've got an idea
01:10:09you're coming with me to the cottage no I'm not we're going to the police oh don't test me after
01:10:16all you're not my daughter are you now come on Chris had creams are you sure live a little
01:10:38there's no other way to say it no more daddy you've not brought sharing on the family happy
01:10:46no but I have a confession to make over the past week it hasn't been me
01:10:55silly girl you were here this morning it wasn't me she might have started her experimental phase
01:11:04darling what have you taken Corinthia I'm not high let me shed some light it couldn't be
01:11:19my Juliet it must be you not so fast Queenie stay there who are you I'm her mother you're not
01:11:30I raise
01:11:31you you ungrateful cow boy you there you are princess sit down what in heavens is happening mummy
01:11:53get me the police now I ain't going anywhere without some royal treasure oh sure we've got
01:12:05the crown jewels in our suitcase don't try and fool me king moron you wouldn't go anywhere without
01:12:11thousands of quid's worth of valuables on you I bet Queenie doesn't leave the house without some
01:12:17diamonds on her person so hand it over this family reunion is going to be short-lived I've got
01:12:24time treasure Jones valuables now I have nothing oh come on otherwise Gemma Julia or whatever her
01:12:34bleeding name is now she's gonna get it what's about a bank transfer what idea like you princess I want
01:12:44a
01:12:44million quid now for god's sakes daddy just let me hey it'll be quicker if I do it fine get
01:12:55on with it
01:13:18good thing we had that year learning from grandma said to cashier hey
01:13:30we're arresting you on suspicion of theft handling and distribution of stolen goods blackmail kidnapping
01:13:36attempted assault attempted murder let's see what else fraud yeah yeah fraud you didn't have to say
01:13:44anything but it may harm your defense if you fail to mention one question anything that you're later
01:13:48alone in court I treated you all right didn't I we had some good times didn't we
01:13:58what possessed you to switch places with your sister
01:14:03I just needed a break daddy we can't keep living by all these rules and restrictions
01:14:09it's almost like you don't trust us to live the lives we've always wished
01:14:13without being able to hold the family name I'm sorry going to you I'm sorry it puts so much pressure
01:14:21on you and I my father did the same with us it's heavy weight of the crown
01:14:31but we have to evolve with the times I mean some of the traditions are just so archaic I have
01:14:38to fly to
01:14:38Switzerland next week and I'll form Shakespeare listen Quincy really you don't have to
01:14:45go no daddy I'll go but I have a better idea his lordship he loves Chopin right yes
01:14:59well maybe I could play the piano for him instead
01:15:04I knew something didn't make sense this last week Quincy was rarely that nice to me I think perhaps
01:15:16this family all need to be a bit more open and respectful with each other so what should we call
01:15:22you now so Gemma or Juliet well I'll make us all a brew and then I'll just do something I
01:15:29mean I like
01:15:29Gemma but I'm really like Juliet and I guess I know why we've got something to tell you all
01:15:57so
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