- 2 days ago
Holidays with the Twins [Full Movie] [English Subs]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:01:06I mean, sometimes change the tune.
00:01:10I've got so much to tell you, but I think I love you, Niles.
00:01:18Sometimes I feel that, and then, I don't know, other times, not so much.
00:01:26Over the last week, I've had a lot of time to think about my life, my future work, you
00:01:31know, what I'm doing, who am I spending it with?
00:01:34Yeah.
00:01:35And, I don't know, like, the last week, we've connected, you know, better than ever before,
00:01:42but...
00:01:42I need to tell you something.
00:01:44Oh, no, just let me finish.
00:01:45I don't know what it is.
00:01:46Like, something feels different.
00:01:49I mean, it's like the spark in our relationship is back, and it's never been any better.
00:01:54Like, I don't know, maybe it's just me.
00:01:57Maybe I've had a lot of time to think, you know.
00:02:01Don't know.
00:02:08Maybe it's...
00:02:09Isn't it wrong?
00:02:13The one thing I'm sure about...
00:02:18is...
00:02:19I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:02:27Miles, wait.
00:02:31Gemma.
00:02:33Were you married then?
00:02:39I know it's just a band, but I promise you when I get the money, you know, I'll get you
00:02:43a diamond.
00:02:44What do you say?
00:02:51I've got something to come first.
00:02:54What?
00:02:55I'm not Gemma.
00:02:58You are?
00:03:01I'm not Gemma.
00:03:08You are joking, right?
00:03:21Not.
00:03:25I met Gemma just under a week and a half ago.
00:03:29And...
00:03:30It was half a year to be more related, and that we were twins.
00:03:34And...
00:03:34I mean...
00:03:36You were even surprised with the piano play.
00:03:50Myles, please.
00:03:51Can you explain?
00:03:52John, I...
00:03:53You could have just said no, all right?
00:03:55Instead of making that ridiculous story.
00:04:00Look, it's...
00:04:01Miles, please!
00:04:22Oh!
00:04:28Miles, please!
00:04:31Barrel problem?
00:04:34I'm so subtle.
00:05:00Don't blow this rubbish too long, I don't want the electric to go on through my roof.
00:05:07Come on Trace, have a dance, yeah, come on Trace.
00:05:13Some of us have work to do.
00:05:18Work?
00:05:18You haven't had a job since 1997.
00:05:22Cheeky, I'm working, alright.
00:05:29Definitely a scam!
00:05:45Linda's a tenner mum.
00:05:47Not my other money.
00:05:48Don't be so stingy I don't get paid for another two weeks.
00:05:52I'm sure I can work somewhere out.
00:05:54You won a job, cash in hand.
00:05:56Sounds good, what are you scheming?
00:05:58Me scheming?
00:06:07Tracee's luxury getaway, isn't this about?
00:06:09No you mine.
00:06:10More than mine.
00:06:13Okay, you remember that holiday letter scheme I had?
00:06:17Well you're going to have to be more specific than that.
00:06:19The cockroaches.
00:06:21Oh gross, yeah, what about it?
00:06:22Yeah, well those cheap places they don't give refunds do they?
00:06:26They give vouchers.
00:06:28But I ran that scheme five times before they worked it out.
00:06:31Now I've got good credit.
00:06:34Okay.
00:06:35So I now rent a place, sublet it on my website.
00:06:43I've put a few targeted adverts in posh areas.
00:06:47Surely this can't work?
00:06:49It has.
00:06:51I've just rented an art deco cottage.
00:06:54I've rented it a couple of days either side so you can go in, sort the place out and then
00:06:59clean up before the real owners get in and check it out.
00:07:03How much then?
00:07:06Fifty quid.
00:07:11Deal.
00:07:17Oh god it's me Ed, what's the E1?
00:07:19Come on.
00:07:24Hello.
00:07:26Yes, this is she.
00:07:30Yes, I've just got your booking.
00:07:33Oh, I'm just wondering how private and secure your listing is.
00:07:37Yes, the family does need security in a private environment.
00:07:41Don't worry, it's a lovely quiet area. Perfect for walks.
00:07:47Oh, excellent. One of our parties will be coming and arriving on the Saturday and the rest of the party
00:07:55will be arriving the following day.
00:07:58Perfect. And you're happy to pay for the security in advance?
00:08:03Oh yes, of course, that's not a problem.
00:08:06Ah, wonderful. You will of course get it back when we've checked over the property after your client leaves.
00:08:15Oh, wonderful. If I have any more questions I'll give you another ring.
00:08:20I'm happy to have served you madam.
00:08:23Okay, goodbye.
00:08:24Bye bye.
00:08:27Is everything gone fact?
00:08:28Oh yes, Princess, your getaway makes. Would you like me to tell this in Her Majesty?
00:08:34No, no. I'll tell them at lunchy.
00:08:37Is anything wrong, Princess? You do look as though you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders.
00:08:44I have something to tell them when we're on holiday, and you don't think they're going to be very happy
00:08:48with me.
00:08:50I'm happy to listen.
00:08:53Perhaps I'm just being silly.
00:08:55Anyway, we need to look at next week's schedule.
00:09:01Of course.
00:09:03Is she a child?
00:09:05Hmm.
00:09:14Hmm.
00:09:16Hmm.
00:09:16Hmm.
00:09:17Hmm.
00:09:17Oh my, we're falling.
00:09:19James, what are you doing?
00:09:20You're going to choke?
00:09:22Oh yes.
00:09:36I told you.
00:09:37Shut up.
00:09:43Do you think there should be more to life than there?
00:09:45What do you mean?
00:09:47I feel stuck, you know.
00:09:48Same old job, same old friends, same old...
00:09:51I have a friend, you know.
00:09:53Until I win lottery or marry a prince, this is all we've got.
00:09:59And what about us?
00:10:00What do you mean?
00:10:01Well, where do you see us heading?
00:10:02I'm not having kids if that's what you mean.
00:10:04No, I don't mean...
00:10:04My mum will kill me if I make her a grandmother.
00:10:08I'm being silly.
00:10:09She's got knife in a garage bigger than Rambos.
00:10:13You said you had something to tell me, is that it?
00:10:16No, it's mine.
00:10:22No, it's mine.
00:10:27No!
00:10:35No!
00:10:37No!
00:10:39It's gorgeous.
00:10:42A little Bohemian.
00:10:43What do you know about Bohemian?
00:10:45You're a permanent scout.
00:10:45You're a Pompkins goat.
00:10:46Watch it, trappy.
00:10:49Besides, I wish I could stay here.
00:10:52It's already spotless.
00:10:53What do we do, then?
00:10:55Well, we've got to clean up her for ourselves
00:10:56and then we've got to swap the brochures and the guest books
00:10:59to me mum so they think it's hers.
00:11:00Oh, easy.
00:11:02Besides, we wouldn't make that much mess, will we?
00:11:11Did I?
00:11:13Mine's done exciting anymore.
00:11:16Oh, what about that fella that tried chatting us up
00:11:18in the club last week?
00:11:19He was fake.
00:11:21Oh, no, not my time.
00:11:23Yeah, well, it miles your time.
00:11:27He used to be, boy.
00:11:29I don't know.
00:11:29No beats my ass.
00:11:31Hmm?
00:11:32Hmm.
00:11:55Stop.
00:11:56Don't take my pillows away.
00:11:59These are my pillows, Wolf.
00:12:00Oh, no.
00:12:01It's...
00:12:08Oh, my God.
00:12:09They're checking in in an hour.
00:12:11Quickly.
00:12:14Keep your arm on.
00:12:20Hey.
00:12:22Oh, yeah, mum.
00:12:23Oh, yeah, we're fine.
00:12:25We're just doing final checks and that.
00:12:28Yeah, yeah, when the first person arrives.
00:12:32Yeah, yeah, fine, fine.
00:12:34Yeah, later.
00:12:38Clean up now.
00:12:39Okay.
00:12:41Hey.
00:13:17Oh, great.
00:13:18We're here.
00:13:20Oh, finally.
00:13:22It'd be so good to just relax and not have to think about my duties.
00:13:25And I've just got one last email to send.
00:13:27Oh, okay.
00:13:28I'll go and grab the keys.
00:13:49Oh, excuse me.
00:13:51Morning.
00:13:52Sorry a bit, Lily.
00:13:53No problem.
00:13:55We're just finished.
00:13:56I've got the keys here for you.
00:13:58Oh, thank you.
00:14:01I'll give these to my boss.
00:14:02Right, I'll just go grab my colleague.
00:14:28Where is it?
00:14:30She's there.
00:14:31Oh, is it?
00:14:32Okay, I'm just doing this last little bit.
00:14:33Bebs, Bebs, I'm going to make a dash to the train, all right?
00:14:35Me auntie wants her nails doing and she's always generous.
00:14:40Okay, I'll see you later, sweet.
00:14:48I'm shooting up.
00:14:49Have a lovely step.
00:14:51Oh, thank you.
00:15:00I think I'll get a crush on the piano.
00:15:02She looks much a relaxing wine.
00:15:03Don't you let it over here?
00:15:05Oh.
00:15:05Are you sure you'll be okay?
00:15:06You might just...
00:15:07Oh, yes, there's a little shop just down the road.
00:15:12A corner shop?
00:15:15Have you ever been in a shop before?
00:15:18Is it like hand-wrains?
00:15:19You'll be there.
00:15:22Ah, yes.
00:16:01Oh, wow, you really are letting it all hang out, aren't you, Princess?
00:16:07Oh, you should put a cardigan on in case of the paparazzi.
00:16:11Oh, and to keep you warm.
00:16:13What?
00:16:15I'll have to run now, Princess.
00:16:17Excuse me.
00:16:18Oh, I've got to go and do a shift at the tea bag factory and have a hot pot.
00:16:27Oh, you do amuse me, Princess.
00:16:29Call me Princess again and I'll show you how amusing I can be.
00:16:34There are, love.
00:16:49Sorry, love.
00:16:50I mean, madam, I've just left my phone.
00:16:53I'll just grab it.
00:17:03Oh, don't mind me.
00:17:18Listen, I've had the place redecorated.
00:17:21Now, I've already put in some scratches so they'll knock 10% off, but you'll have to pay for the
00:17:26rest.
00:17:31Maybe it's time your constituencies and your wife found out what it is you get up to.
00:17:40Don't get funny with me, buddy boy.
00:17:42I've still got the photos.
00:17:44You've got plenty of money.
00:17:49Good.
00:17:50That's better.
00:17:52Now, I'll want it in my account by the end of the day.
00:17:58Who's that?
00:17:59Mayor.
00:18:00What?
00:18:01I used to date him about 10 years back.
00:18:05You wouldn't believe the dirt I've got on him.
00:18:10Oh, my gosh.
00:18:12That's a girl I feel sorry for.
00:18:15Anyway, what can I do for you, lover boy?
00:18:19I've come to see Gemma.
00:18:21Oh, she's not here.
00:18:22She's at our holiday cottage.
00:18:25You've got a holiday cottage?
00:18:26Yes.
00:18:27Well, kind of.
00:18:29Anyway, she'll be back in a few hours.
00:18:35This is well bizarre.
00:18:39Maybe we're ducks, Damus.
00:18:41I think they're a bit more than lookalikes, Flower.
00:18:44So, what are they?
00:18:46Who's your dad?
00:18:49Well, my father is king of a small island and a British rule.
00:18:53That's good.
00:18:55Because my mum's the Queen of Sheba, love.
00:18:57Is she broken?
00:19:00Well, I was born in this country.
00:19:03They had to reside here during the coup.
00:19:06The Isle of Marmold is prone to it, unfortunately.
00:19:09We did try to move back.
00:19:11But ended up right here.
00:19:13So, technically, my father is nothing more than a lord.
00:19:20Well, that sucks.
00:19:22Was your dad a bit of a Lothario?
00:19:24I beg your pardon?
00:19:26I never met my dad.
00:19:28My mum says they were like ships passing at nine.
00:19:31He might have done it more than a night, would they?
00:19:33I mean, 33 years ago.
00:19:36What's your birthday?
00:19:38April 1st.
00:19:39Mine too.
00:19:44But...
00:19:45I'm 39.
00:19:47Fine, alright.
00:19:49I'm 39.
00:19:52We're always new twins.
00:19:53Everything matches.
00:19:54Well, how are we going to find out?
00:19:56Hang on.
00:20:01Where are you?
00:20:02I've got a question for you, Mum.
00:20:04Alright, let's be out.
00:20:06Was my old man a king or a lord?
00:20:09What are you talking about?
00:20:11Are you taking the mick?
00:20:13No, do you reckon he was?
00:20:15He were barely a court, just a love.
00:20:18Well, I don't suppose you had two kids and gave one away.
00:20:24Have you been drinking again?
00:20:37I mean, it's impossible.
00:20:39My mother gave birth to me.
00:20:41Well, it's a mystery.
00:20:45Hold on.
00:20:48You're kidding me.
00:20:50What?
00:20:51I'm just dreaming.
00:20:52Wait.
00:20:54Who did you like?
00:20:57You're not dreaming.
00:20:59It's real.
00:20:59Look, I'm going to have to go soon.
00:21:03Why?
00:21:04Yeah, I've got to get back on the grind.
00:21:06I can't sit here with you all day being a princess.
00:21:11Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
00:21:13I can assure you.
00:21:15Yeah, well, try being me.
00:21:18Trying to scrape by with a boring boyfriend
00:21:20who I'm pretty sure can't stand me right now.
00:21:24Let alone me mother.
00:21:25Christ!
00:21:26She's not nice.
00:21:29No.
00:21:30I wouldn't say that, but she's just complicated.
00:21:34She must be doing all right, though.
00:21:37She has a second property.
00:21:39So what's so bad about your life, princess?
00:21:44Well, I'm expected to act a certain way.
00:21:49I'm object a certain image.
00:21:50Well, I just didn't feel true to myself.
00:21:56I have to have dinners with new awards and ladies, politicians, kings and queens sometimes.
00:22:04I mean, I even used to date William before we met Kate.
00:22:07Seriously?
00:22:09Yes.
00:22:11It's just such an effort having to dress up all the time and be so demure.
00:22:22Well, what is it?
00:22:27Well, we went to a gala a few weeks ago.
00:22:32And there was a lady playing the piano.
00:22:35I've been learning the piano for years, and I stopped to listen to her.
00:22:44But my mother wouldn't let me.
00:22:48She said she was nearly the hire to help.
00:22:50I just didn't understand why they made me learn to play if I wasn't ever able to.
00:23:01I felt so trapped.
00:23:05And she just looked so free.
00:23:08Well, I can tell you being the hire to help ain't what it's cracked up to be.
00:23:14I'd love to feel in part and, you know, be the centre of attention.
00:23:21I haven't had yet.
00:23:24What?
00:23:27Why don't we swap places for a week?
00:23:30You're having a laugh, aren't you?
00:23:33No, I'm being serious.
00:23:35A week?
00:23:39Why not?
00:23:40We're identical.
00:23:42We just need to go over everything that we need to know.
00:23:50Fulker it.
00:23:51Mine out.
00:23:53You're serious, that's too.
00:23:54What's up?
00:23:57What are you, Vince?
00:24:22Thanks, Vince.
00:24:22Thanks.
00:24:38Sorry. I know it's late. How are you getting on?
00:24:43Getting there.
00:24:46I have an idea.
00:24:48Keep me with it.
00:24:50Well, I know a photographer and I can get access to his studio in the morning so he could go
00:24:57through the physical side of it all.
00:24:58What do you mean?
00:25:02Well, you walk like a member of Oasis. No offence. None taken.
00:25:09I need to teach you how to walk, talk and eat like a princess.
00:25:12What next? Poop like a princess?
00:25:16How vulgar.
00:25:17Yeah. I've got my work cut out for me. Sorry.
00:25:22You get some sleep now. You've got to start early before my family arrives.
00:25:29I want to talk like a princess.
00:25:36I want to walk like a princess.
00:25:51But I'm not going to be your princess. I'm going to be my own princess. My own princess. Be my
00:26:05own princess.
00:26:08My own princess.
00:26:10I am going to be my princess.
00:26:13I am going to talk like a princess.
00:26:24I am going to talk like a princess.
00:26:31I am going to be, I am going to be my own princess
00:26:42I am a princess
00:26:55Tell me not to know where I am
00:27:03Yeah, me mum and me boyfriend want to know where I am
00:27:07You want to do this?
00:27:10Sure
00:27:12Yeah
00:27:13Yeah
00:27:15I'll get Connie to pick you up from here
00:27:17And I'll get a new Uber to take to me, darling
00:27:24Well don't, I don't know if there's an Uber, I'm just a ride
00:27:28I didn't get that
00:27:30We're going to have to swap clothes too
00:27:34Oh, this is really comfy
00:27:38Well, you need to do something, straightened up, shoulders back
00:27:45You know, good luck
00:27:47He'll get a taxi to pick you up and drop me off at mine, it's just opposite the flower shop
00:27:54I'm nervous
00:27:55Well I'd say it don't be, but my mum can be a bit scarier sometimes
00:28:12Morning, are you all right?
00:28:14Um, nice, um, your family's waiting for you at the holiday cottage
00:28:20S-skiffing
00:28:22One's high tea
00:28:23High tea?
00:28:25Yeah, like cucumber sandwiches and-and all that
00:28:33Are you playing with me?
00:28:36Oh
00:28:37Yeah, um, you got me
00:28:41After you, your own highness
00:29:02I do
00:29:04Cup do
00:29:06Hey, hey, hey, hey, have a bun.
00:29:14What about you, Ed?
00:29:16Bloody old Gemma.
00:29:18I only saw you yesterday.
00:29:20You'd been on the extra-end signers last night.
00:29:24No, thank you.
00:29:26Well, Ed?
00:29:28Oh, look.
00:29:36Well, well, well. The Princess returns.
00:29:40Her Majesty has deigned to share her presence.
00:29:44Excuse me?
00:29:47I don't know what you're talking about.
00:29:49So, look, was Gemma with you last night?
00:29:53No, I thought she was back here.
00:29:59Well, erm, I just fancied a night out.
00:30:03I mean, is that a trend?
00:30:07Do what you like.
00:30:08I had to entertain your dopey boyfriend.
00:30:14Oh, Miles, for God's sake.
00:30:16Bloody hell, lad.
00:30:17It's like looking in a butcher's window.
00:30:18Cover yourself up.
00:30:20James, can we have a chat later?
00:30:54Oh, come in.
00:30:55Oh, thank God.
00:30:56We've been stuck here without any help for an hour.
00:30:59It's been frightful.
00:31:01We're dying for a cup of tea.
00:31:02I've no idea how the contraption works.
00:31:05The thing.
00:31:07You mean the kettle.
00:31:09Or that.
00:31:10Don't worry, Your Majesty.
00:31:12I'll make the tea.
00:31:14Is Diana here yet?
00:31:16She's, er, outside in the courtyard.
00:31:19Oh, God.
00:31:21Right.
00:31:23Oh, what's the matter, Your Majesty?
00:31:25Since when do you call Father now, Your Majesty and Lady?
00:31:29I'm sorry about that.
00:31:32Did Nancy do your make-up?
00:31:35It's too much.
00:31:36You look like one of those American princesses.
00:31:39I did my make-up.
00:31:41Well, it looks like you've used a spray can, darling.
00:31:45Have your sister do it.
00:31:46Nancy has the week off.
00:31:48Diana?
00:31:49Yes, Diana.
00:31:51Go on.
00:31:52Shoo, shoo.
00:31:57Hey, sis.
00:32:01You've never called me sis before.
00:32:04Um, heavens, who did your make-up?
00:32:07A mortician?
00:32:09Um, Mother's asked you to help me.
00:32:13Fine.
00:32:26Oh, it's great.
00:32:28Don't make habit of it.
00:32:31Thank you, Diana.
00:32:33I don't think you've thanked me for anything.
00:32:36Oh.
00:32:39Sorry.
00:32:41And you've never apologised either.
00:32:43Did you get a visit from three ghosts last night?
00:32:46Did they know they're too late for Christmas?
00:32:47Yes.
00:32:51So, what do you think about the holiday cottage?
00:32:54I don't know what possessed you to book this,
00:32:56when we could have gone to Uncle Giles' chateau in Monaco.
00:33:01I think it's nice to switch things up a little.
00:33:05You're odd today, Carinthia.
00:33:06Very, very odd.
00:33:08I'm just happy to see you.
00:33:10Ew.
00:33:11Look, just pick out a nice dress.
00:33:14Daddy's been invited to love with Nell's latest gathering.
00:33:16Where to make our token appearances.
00:33:20Is it going to be harsh?
00:33:23Lords, dignitaries, royalty.
00:33:26Not much at all, darling.
00:33:29Did you bang your head?
00:33:51Alright, love.
00:33:52Horseragime better with you.
00:34:22Um, this is an open bar, is it not?
00:34:28The bar is paid for, yes.
00:34:33Drink Connie?
00:34:36I can't, I'm working.
00:34:39I think you just need to relax.
00:34:42You look a little uptight.
00:34:50Come on, let's go out.
00:34:58Better get off soon, covering someone's shift.
00:35:03I really want to go clubbing tonight instead.
00:35:05Oh, I don't, yeah.
00:35:08Because if I don't work, I don't get paid.
00:35:10Don't get paid, can't pay me bill.
00:35:12On and on it goes.
00:35:13Right.
00:35:14Yeah, you can't just ask for some money off your parents.
00:35:17My tailbone, Daddy.
00:35:20If you had a loob buried somewhere, I wouldn't tell me where it was.
00:35:23Mum's more broke than me.
00:35:28How long have we known each other now?
00:35:32Blimey.
00:35:33What were we?
00:35:35Ball, pies, back in primary school.
00:35:38A lifetime of shenanigans ever since.
00:35:45Did I ever tell you about me, Dad?
00:35:47Only that your mum didn't know who it was.
00:35:49Do you think she's lying about that?
00:35:54Honestly, I never know where you are, Mark.
00:35:56What, she's a lover.
00:36:00Should we get ready for Miles?
00:36:03Yeah.
00:36:04Look, if you're going to dump him, let him down gently.
00:36:09All right?
00:36:10He's a nice guy.
00:36:12Why was she...
00:36:13I mean, why would I dump...
00:36:14Don't know about Harmony Grant.
00:36:15Do you remember her?
00:36:16Or Daphne Breen.
00:36:18Daphne.
00:36:18Oh, never mind.
00:36:20Go easy on him, all right?
00:36:24Yeah, OK.
00:36:26Do you know the way to Nashall?
00:36:28That's where I've got a meeting.
00:36:29You don't remember?
00:36:31Well, not exactly, no.
00:36:32Do you have a cab with me?
00:36:33We'll dump you off on the way, sweet.
00:36:56Honestly, Carinthia, I've never seen you act like that before.
00:37:10What were you drinking?
00:37:13Not beer, was it?
00:37:15It was bitter, Papa.
00:37:18A princess does not drink bitter beer, lager.
00:37:24I mean, this it might find in a public house.
00:37:28Unless it's high-class spirits.
00:37:30Like champagne.
00:37:33And good champagne at that.
00:37:35Can I not drink cider?
00:37:39What?
00:37:39It was a genuine question.
00:37:41Listen, Carinthia.
00:37:42You need to start to improve your behaviour.
00:37:45We have our reputation to uphold.
00:37:50Show some decorum.
00:37:52Not that.
00:37:59Well, that went surprisingly well.
00:38:06Anyway, what's the decor?
00:38:10It's like 80 kids.
00:38:12You took classes in it.
00:38:24You've upset your father, you m'lady.
00:38:27I'm 39, you're mad.
00:38:29Mother.
00:38:31Well, perhaps you should act like it.
00:38:33Now, we have something important for you to do next week.
00:38:36Father has some friends in Switzerland.
00:38:38Very upper crust.
00:38:40He's told them you spent two years at RADA
00:38:42and performed plays across Europe.
00:38:45Why'd you tell them that?
00:38:48Because you did, Carinthia.
00:38:51So, we'd like you to do a short performance for them.
00:38:55We've booked a rehearsal space in two days.
00:38:58We'll let you know what play it is when we decide.
00:39:01But you know them all off by heart, anyway.
00:39:05Gee.
00:39:07Thanks.
00:39:09Stick to her like glue.
00:39:11Make sure she's focused.
00:39:12And no more foolishness.
00:39:15Okay, Connie?
00:39:16Yes, Your Majesty.
00:39:17I'll let you stay.
00:39:32Miles?
00:39:35Hello?
00:39:37Are you here?
00:39:42Miles?
00:39:45Miles?
00:39:49Miles?
00:39:50Miles?
00:39:50Miles?
00:40:16Miles?
00:40:20Miles?
00:40:21Miles?
00:40:21Miles?
00:40:23Miles?
00:40:26Miles?
00:41:42Gemma, that was amazing.
00:41:45Like, I'm genuinely stunned.
00:41:48It was nothing.
00:41:50Why didn't you say you could play music?
00:41:52I mean, I know you went to acting school, but music?
00:41:56You should have said.
00:41:59People like me don't get to show off, really.
00:42:03Besides, one cares.
00:42:06I care.
00:42:07You know, I love music.
00:42:10You do?
00:42:12You know I do.
00:42:13I used to play when I was younger.
00:42:16No one here as good as I.
00:42:18That was, that was brilliant.
00:42:26It's a lot of fun.
00:42:29Yeah.
00:42:29It's, um, it's not a bad place to work, is it?
00:42:34What do you do?
00:42:37Gemma, I told you about this last time I was here.
00:42:41Like, you're in your own pub sometimes, I sort of.
00:42:44I'm the maintenance guy, so I make sure the stage mechanics and the sound are ticked up.
00:42:51How marvelous.
00:42:59Um, I need to lock up now, okay?
00:43:01So, why don't we go for a walk and go to the pub?
00:43:05Have a game of darts?
00:43:08Yeah, let's have a game of darts and a few drinks.
00:43:11Um, why don't we go on a walk?
00:43:17I mean, it's a lovely day out and, uh, do you know any good viewpoints?
00:43:25Sure, yeah.
00:43:26And maybe we can have a chat about things.
00:43:36You sure it's not dodgy?
00:43:38Would I do anything dodgy?
00:43:41Well, where'd you get them?
00:43:43They were in the line at, uh, a jewellers I do some cleaning at.
00:43:47They were just going to throw it out, don't we?
00:43:49Ow!
00:43:50It's not like cabbage, Trace.
00:43:52It's a story.
00:43:56Hey.
00:43:57What's up, innit?
00:43:59Even some diamonds.
00:44:01Of course, I'll give them a cut once we've sold it.
00:44:05But what I need you to do is to pass it off on a couple of porn shops in town.
00:44:09Why can't you do it?
00:44:10You know I would, but I've heard many, and technically, I'm on disability benefits, so, uh, they can't sit me
00:44:18rushing up and downtown, you know, between porn shops.
00:44:23Hmm.
00:44:24Think about it.
00:44:25I don't think too long, love.
00:44:36Who's going to be careful?
00:44:38Who's going to be careful?
00:44:39You're right.
00:44:40Yeah.
00:44:43You know, it's so beautiful out here.
00:44:47Just so peaceful.
00:44:50Yeah, I know. It's...
00:44:53Well, I come up here quite a lot, you know, to clear my head and...
00:44:57I can see why.
00:45:00Really?
00:45:02This isn't your cup of tea, James.
00:45:05You never really wanted to do this.
00:45:07More for me, innit?
00:45:11Yeah, I suppose.
00:45:16You cold?
00:45:18Yeah, it's chillier than I thought.
00:45:22Come here.
00:45:26This isn't normal.
00:45:28Really?
00:45:29Yeah.
00:45:31But right now, normally it's a Huggins woke and whack your ass off.
00:45:41What did you need to tell me?
00:45:50Do you think we're good together?
00:45:51What do you mean?
00:45:53I don't know. Sometimes I feel like you're not really that into me.
00:45:58No, I'm sorry.
00:46:00Sometimes I just get caught up in myself.
00:46:04Look, you're really warm hearted and you're wonderful.
00:46:08I mean, that's a bit forward of me to say.
00:46:12Not really, James.
00:46:13Like, we have been going out for a year now.
00:46:22Come on.
00:46:24Shall I get you home?
00:46:25Hmm.
00:46:50Something will hurt her.
00:46:52You wouldn't care, sister. You never do.
00:46:55Of course I do.
00:46:57Shouldn't you be offering a groveling apology to Mumsy and Dadsy?
00:47:01Dadsy already gave me a rollicking.
00:47:05Rollicking?
00:47:05Yeah, you know what I mean.
00:47:09You must say, I found it rather amusing.
00:47:17Okay, sis.
00:47:19What's his name? What's he doing?
00:47:22How on earth do you know?
00:47:26I knew that, Mark.
00:47:28Come on then, Maradie Bomb.
00:47:33It's Nathaniel.
00:47:35He's up to his old tricks again.
00:47:37Father is insistent that he's going to make an excellent husband,
00:47:41but he's only considering Nathaniel's family and their standing.
00:47:46As for Nathaniel himself.
00:47:49So he's more on it.
00:47:52Yes, I suppose so.
00:47:58He might have been born with wealth, but not so much of a brain.
00:48:05What is Nathaniel done?
00:48:09Oh, he can't keep his hands off the maids.
00:48:13His father set a fire at several of the house staff for fraternising with Nathaniel after dark.
00:48:19Oh.
00:48:20So he can't be trusted?
00:48:21God, it's ridiculous.
00:48:24These men in high society are almost expected to behave like this and suffer no consequences.
00:48:30Oh.
00:48:31You should suffer consequences, Maggie.
00:48:33Swift knee to the family jewels.
00:48:35Sister.
00:48:38Perhaps you're right.
00:48:42Besides, those 12 months studying judo under Grandmaster Takashi that father paid for,
00:48:48I suppose I could put them to good beliefs.
00:48:55What's over you two?
00:48:59Don't settle for second best.
00:49:03Always follow your heart.
00:49:06I mean, you might not always be right.
00:49:10But it'd be your bad.
00:49:13And not father's judgment.
00:49:18I suppose I should get ready to face him.
00:49:21I'm going to Nathaniel's family manor tonight with Mumsy and Dadsy.
00:49:29Forget the bit about the knee to the spuds.
00:49:35Just be firm and honest.
00:50:03Cup of tea?
00:50:06I'm sure.
00:50:09You're not so surprised.
00:50:12You've never made a cup of tea before.
00:50:15You usually ask me.
00:50:18Well, I can assure you that I make a great friend.
00:50:22So sit down.
00:50:23Let's take away off.
00:50:27You seem very different.
00:50:48I'm impressed.
00:50:51It's only a cup of tea, Connie.
00:50:56Anyway, I've been an agony aunt all day.
00:50:59So if you want to chat, go away.
00:51:02Me?
00:51:04Chat?
00:51:06About what?
00:51:09Your love life?
00:51:13Your love life?
00:51:14My love life?
00:51:15Good God!
00:51:17God, if you want to talk about disasters, let's talk about, I don't know, Pompeii or Titanic.
00:51:25So there's no man in a man or a woman of a woman?
00:51:28No.
00:51:29Today, I don't know.
00:51:29No man?
00:51:31Either.
00:51:31Or a woman, either.
00:51:36Well, the truth is, working for a family of royals takes all my time.
00:51:41Don't get me wrong.
00:51:43I do love it, but it takes all my time.
00:51:47And I am on call 24-7.
00:51:50Well, we need to set some boundaries and some times.
00:51:54What?
00:51:54You know, workers' rights and all that.
00:52:00You?
00:52:00You, of all people, are saying that?
00:52:09Anyway, this tea looks like it needs biscuits.
00:52:13And I know you work with the royals and probably love a rich tea.
00:52:18But I prefer custard cream.
00:52:21Me too!
00:52:23Do you know what?
00:52:25I've got some upstairs in my suitcase.
00:52:29I'm guilty.
00:52:30Pleasure.
00:52:31Go grab them, then.
00:52:43Yeah, I've got my daughter's mate to do it.
00:52:46She's going to do the ones for me.
00:52:48It's a bit silly, but I reckon there's a fair few grand there.
00:52:53How do you think I've got it?
00:52:56Five-finger discount, mate.
00:52:59Oh, yeah.
00:53:00You'd be surprised at what I've stolen.
00:53:16Whatever she's told you to do, don't do it.
00:53:18Why not?
00:53:19Well, I think she's doing something unlawful.
00:53:21So, Gora.
00:53:23So what?
00:53:23You can't take the risk for someone else.
00:53:27Lighten up, gems.
00:53:29You've been well uptight lately.
00:53:32Come on.
00:53:33Let's have a rave.
00:53:44Come on.
00:53:45Let me read the word.
00:53:49Oh, gosh.
00:53:50Look at my neck with all the strings.
00:53:53Come on.
00:54:00That's more like it.
00:54:01Please beat.
00:54:03Oh.
00:54:03Oh, my God!
00:54:42This is...
00:54:45This is much nicer.
00:54:50Yes, actually.
00:55:21What do you say? What are you two girls doing?
00:55:27We were just dancing, Your Majesty.
00:55:30Dancing? Why?
00:55:32That...
00:55:33I was teaching her how to dance.
00:55:36If I had a reason for Carina to dance,
00:55:38we would have hired a teacher.
00:55:41From the Royal London School of Ballet to teach her.
00:55:46We've tried that once, Ralph.
00:55:48She has no rhythm, like Bambi on Ice.
00:55:51Oh, yes, yes. Of course.
00:55:55A word, Connie.
00:56:05We are coming to see you.
00:56:08Right, come in to you, my gentlemen.
00:56:12I think you need to start to focus a bit.
00:56:15We've got a busy year ahead.
00:56:18It's very important that everybody is on the ball.
00:56:21You have a reputation, too.
00:56:24Right, you are, Kingy.
00:56:26Kingy.
00:56:27Kingy.
00:56:28Sorry for that.
00:56:31Prepare for a performance to the theatre.
00:56:34I want to see your midsummer night's dream.
00:56:38All my best.
00:56:40Perhaps, Hamlet.
00:56:43What?
00:56:46Prepare yourself.
00:56:48You will do a pre-run the day after tomorrow.
00:56:52And then next week, you'll perform in Switzerland.
00:56:58This is bad.
00:57:00I mean, I haven't acted in years in Shakespeare.
00:57:04It's so old.
00:57:07He's dead in me.
00:57:10I should hope so.
00:57:19To be or not to be.
00:57:27It's just too much for me.
00:57:31I'm not what you want me to be.
00:57:34To be or not to be.
00:58:02To be or not to be.
00:58:08To be or not to be.
00:58:16To be.
00:58:19It's just too much for me.
00:58:23I'm not what you want me to be.
00:58:42You all right?
00:58:42Oh, you finished for a day?
00:58:46Yeah, no, we need to get off now because there's a booking, but I need to meet at PA.
00:58:52Oh, yeah, yeah, um, I'll stay out of your way.
00:58:57And then we can go to the park.
00:59:14Oh, no, it's Miss Frempton.
00:59:18Is it? I think it's okay?
00:59:21Yeah, the lights are on, the theatre's yours.
00:59:24The caretaker will be back later to lock up when you're done.
00:59:26I just need to go back inside to pack some stuff away and then I'll be gone.
00:59:34This is King Ralph, Queen Christine and their daughter Princess Diana
00:59:41of the Isle of Marwood.
00:59:43Um, it's... it's a real honor to meet you.
00:59:46I'm so sorry about my squirt to my parents.
00:59:49Oh, not at all. You've covered them working very hard.
00:59:51I do my best.
00:59:54Can you show us to the theatre?
00:59:58Miss Corinthians here.
00:59:59Doing warm-up exercises, apparently.
01:00:04This way.
01:00:09Right, you get ready and then head over to the maze stage.
01:00:14Do you want me to tell you where it is?
01:00:16I know where it is.
01:00:18Oh.
01:00:21Well, good luck then.
01:00:26Oh.
01:00:28Sorry, I... I thought...
01:00:35Connie!
01:00:48Connie!
01:00:49Drink, leg.
01:01:01What's going on?
01:01:03Come on, darling. We haven't got all day.
01:01:14What's the matter with you?
01:01:17We've been through Summer Night's Dream a hundred times.
01:01:21I'm so stressed.
01:01:23I've got so much going on here.
01:01:24I just can't remember anything.
01:01:27I...
01:01:28Can you remember anything?
01:01:32My...
01:01:34The passage from Romeo and Juliet.
01:01:38I need you to be my wrong hand.
01:01:41Fine, fine.
01:01:44Okay.
01:01:54Romeo.
01:01:57Romeo.
01:02:01The blissful art.
01:02:04I remember.
01:02:08Can I...
01:02:09tell...
01:02:11the remote...
01:02:14But peace for me...
01:02:16By love.
01:02:19And I'll no longer be a cabinet.
01:02:32What did I do?
01:02:47Are you okay, Your Majesty?
01:02:50It's...
01:02:51It's silly, really.
01:02:53I...
01:02:53I just got bittersweet memories of that play.
01:02:56I was watching a performance of Romeo and Juliet when my waters broke.
01:03:01Well, not very legal behaviour on my part.
01:03:04I'll be back out in a second.
01:03:11Is she okay?
01:03:14Yes.
01:03:15She'll be back soon.
01:03:17I think we'll call it a dance performance.
01:03:20It was okay. I liked it, Quincy.
01:03:24But...
01:03:24I think...
01:03:26We were doing better off with one of the other plays.
01:03:29Mother wasn't a fan.
01:03:32Well...
01:03:32I think it was a play she was watching while she was in labour.
01:03:38Oh, dear.
01:03:39Yeah.
01:03:43Oh, my darling child.
01:03:45My little Juliet.
01:03:48I do wonder where you are.
01:04:00Mother...
01:04:00Are you okay?
01:04:02I'm sorry, my darling. I was being silly.
01:04:07Did you change our day?
01:04:10I'm...
01:04:11Just very free.
01:04:15Who's Julie in there?
01:04:17I'll wake up once.
01:04:19We can join you there.
01:04:20I'm sorry.
01:04:33You...
01:04:34You...
01:04:35You...
01:04:37You...
01:04:49Well, that's what Stacey said.
01:04:52Your mother's all cellmate.
01:04:54That's impossible.
01:04:55Is it, Jenna?
01:04:58We're twins.
01:04:59I mean, I know she messed up,
01:05:02but I just can't imagine her stealing a baby.
01:05:13Only me.
01:05:15Sorry, His Majesty wants his golf cardigan.
01:05:19We simply can't play without it, apparently.
01:05:22Who'd have thought that Shumper would have been so important, eh?
01:05:35Oh, my.
01:06:03Oh!
01:06:07Are you okay, Connie?
01:06:10Carincia?
01:06:12Yeah.
01:06:14It's me.
01:06:19Gemma.
01:06:26Ah.
01:06:28So it was you this past week.
01:06:31I knew something was different.
01:06:36You're the bitter drinker.
01:06:39Bitter?
01:06:42That's not important.
01:06:50I'll let Gemma explain. It's all got rather complicated.
01:06:55So better be good.
01:06:59Your devious mother, sublet of this place, we don't even know, isn't it?
01:07:04And I met Carincia when you checked in.
01:07:07I mean, it was obvious we were related and we just wanted to know the truth.
01:07:12But you swapped places.
01:07:15Do you know what I'll say?
01:07:17Do you know what I'll say?
01:07:19Do you know what I'm saying?
01:07:26Well, deep down, it had something to do with my mum, if I can even call her that.
01:07:35What did she do?
01:07:37Well, it turns out she stole her baby when she was in prison on the basis of the mother didn't
01:07:44need to.
01:07:45That's awful.
01:07:46Yeah, and the king and queen kept it quiet.
01:07:51Well, I never heard anything about it. I can assure you.
01:07:56Yeah, but we need proof.
01:07:59We need to get evidence off my mum.
01:08:02You have to tell the kingdom queen.
01:08:05We need to sort my mum, Tracy, out for this.
01:08:09And then we'll tell the king.
01:08:10I kept wondering why your voice was different.
01:08:14And the accent kept slipping.
01:08:19Look, this is the real me.
01:08:23I'm just a gobby Yorkshire lass.
01:08:26Yes.
01:08:29I quite like it.
01:08:34I don't know what this means between us, dog.
01:08:41Us?
01:08:44I like you.
01:08:46I really like you.
01:08:50Oh.
01:08:52Well.
01:08:52I love.
01:09:15This will take some explaining to do.
01:09:18To my employers.
01:09:22Oh.
01:09:40Juliet.
01:09:42What are you doing in my room?
01:09:45How could you?
01:09:47What?
01:09:48That's nothing.
01:09:49Why did you lie to me, Tracy?
01:09:52How did you find out?
01:09:55Well, it turns out,
01:09:57I met my twin sister, the bonafide princess,
01:10:00when my real family checked into the holiday cottage.
01:10:03Royals.
01:10:05I knew they were rich, but royals.
01:10:08I've got an idea.
01:10:09You're coming with me to the cottage.
01:10:11I'm not. We're going to the police.
01:10:12Oh, don't test me.
01:10:16After all, you're not my daughter, are you?
01:10:20Now, come on!
01:10:22Get out of me!
01:10:23Oh!
01:10:28Pussed creams.
01:10:29Are you sure?
01:10:33Live a little.
01:10:38There's no other way to say it no more than a daddy.
01:10:41You've not brought Shane on the phone without you.
01:10:45No.
01:10:47But...
01:10:49I have a confession to make.
01:10:52Over the past week, it hasn't been me.
01:10:56So, girl.
01:10:57You were here this morning, weren't you?
01:10:59It wasn't me.
01:11:02She might have started her experimental phase, darling.
01:11:06What have you taken, Carinthia?
01:11:11I'm not.
01:11:12High.
01:11:14Let me shed some light.
01:11:17It couldn't be.
01:11:19My Juliet.
01:11:21It must be you.
01:11:22Not so fast, Queenie.
01:11:24Stay there.
01:11:26Who are you?
01:11:27I'm her mother.
01:11:29You're not!
01:11:30I raise you, you ungrateful cowl!
01:11:34Oi! You!
01:11:34Here.
01:11:36Go on, Princess. Sit down.
01:11:40What in heavens is happening, Mummy?
01:11:53Get me the police.
01:11:55Now!
01:11:57You're taking this terrible heart, Jasey.
01:12:00Stop it. It was too late.
01:12:01I ain't going anywhere without some royal treasure.
01:12:04Oh, sure.
01:12:05We've got the crown jewels in our suitcase.
01:12:07Don't try and fool me, King Moron.
01:12:10You wouldn't go anywhere without thousands of quid's worth of valuables on you.
01:12:14I bet Queenie doesn't leave the house without some diamonds on her person.
01:12:18So hand it over. This family reunion is going to be short-lived.
01:12:23I've got time.
01:12:25Treasure.
01:12:26Jewels.
01:12:27Valuables.
01:12:28Now!
01:12:29No!
01:12:29I have nothing.
01:12:30Oh, come on.
01:12:32Otherwise Gemma or Juliet or whatever her bleeding name is, now she's going to get it.
01:12:37What about a bank transfer?
01:12:40Good idea.
01:12:42I like you, Princess.
01:12:43I want a million quid.
01:12:45Now!
01:12:49For God's sake, Daddy, just let me.
01:12:51Hey!
01:12:52Hey, hey!
01:12:52It'll be quicker if I do it.
01:12:54Fine. Get on with it.
01:12:58What's your account number?
01:13:12Hey!
01:13:13Come on, Mummy!
01:13:18Good thing we had that year learning from Grandmaster Takashi, hey?
01:13:30We're arresting you on suspicion of theft, handling and distribution of stolen goods, blackmail, kidnapping, attempted assault, attempted murder, and
01:13:38let's see what else.
01:13:41Fraud?
01:13:42Yeah, fraud.
01:13:43You didn't have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you fail to mention one question and
01:13:47you think that you'll later rely on in court.
01:13:50I treated you all right, didn't I?
01:13:52We had some good times, didn't we?
01:13:58What possessed you to switch places with your sister?
01:14:03I just needed a break, Daddy.
01:14:06We can't keep living by all these rules and restrictions.
01:14:09It's almost like you don't trust us to live the lives we've always wished, without being able to hold the
01:14:15family name.
01:14:16I'm sorry, Corinne, dear.
01:14:19I'm sorry it puts so much pressure on you and I.
01:14:23My father did the same with us.
01:14:27It's heavy weight of the crown.
01:14:31But we have to evolve with the times.
01:14:34I mean, some of the traditions are just so archaic.
01:14:37I have to fly to Switzerland next week and perform Shakespeare.
01:14:41Listen, Quincy, really.
01:14:43You don't have to go.
01:14:46No, Daddy, I'll go.
01:14:48But...
01:14:50I have a better idea.
01:14:52His lordship.
01:14:54He loves Chopin, right?
01:14:57Yes.
01:14:59Well, maybe...
01:15:01I could play the piano for him instead.
01:15:06Okay, okay.
01:15:10I knew something didn't make sense this last week.
01:15:13Winfrey was rarely that nice to me.
01:15:15I think perhaps this family all need to be a bit more open and respectful with each other.
01:15:20So, what should we call you now, sis?
01:15:23Gemma or Juliet?
01:15:25Well, I'll make us all a brew and then I'll just decide.
01:15:28I mean, I like Gemma, but I really like Juliet.
01:15:32And I guess...
01:15:34I know why not.
01:15:35I know why not.
01:15:36I know why not.
01:15:39I know why not.
01:15:41I know why not.
01:15:44We've got something to tell you all.
01:15:45I know why not.
01:15:49I know why not?
01:16:15Who said one?
01:16:28I'm sorry, Gem. I'm so...
01:16:31I can't...
01:16:33I can't...
01:16:35I told you.
01:16:37I'm not Gem.
01:16:41Not this again.
01:16:48She's telling true of me, Ed.
01:16:54What?
01:16:56I...
01:17:00Wiles, for the past week, I feel you head over here's in love with you.
01:17:07Gems, I didn't know anything about this. I'm sorry.
01:17:11Yet and all.
01:17:14But go on, big boy. You have me a blessing.
01:17:21The question is...
01:17:24Does your previous officer stand?
01:17:27Good night.
01:17:37Well, funnily enough, I kept it on me just in case.
01:17:41This is...
01:17:46Is it...
01:17:55This is what you...
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