- 2 days ago
Holidays with the Twins [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:01:06I mean, sometimes change the tune.
00:01:10I've got so much to tell you, but I think I love you, Niles.
00:01:18Sometimes I feel that, and then, I don't know, other times, not so much.
00:01:26Over the last week, I've had a lot of time to think about my life, my future work, you
00:01:31know, what I'm doing, who am I spending it with?
00:01:34Yeah.
00:01:35And, I don't know, like, the last week, we've connected, you know, better than ever before,
00:01:42but...
00:01:42I need to tell you something.
00:01:44Oh, no, just let me finish.
00:01:45I don't know what it is.
00:01:46Like, something feels different.
00:01:49I mean, it's like the spark in our relationship is back, and it's never been any better.
00:01:54Like, I don't know, maybe it's just me.
00:01:57Maybe I've had a lot of time to think, you know.
00:02:01Don't know.
00:02:08Maybe it's...
00:02:09Isn't it wrong?
00:02:13The one thing I'm sure about...
00:02:18is...
00:02:19I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:02:27Miles, wait.
00:02:31Gemma.
00:02:33Were you married then?
00:02:39I know it's just a band, but I promise you when I get the money, you know, I'll get you
00:02:43a diamond.
00:02:44What do you say?
00:02:51I've got something to come first.
00:02:54What?
00:02:55I'm not Gemma.
00:02:58You are?
00:03:01I'm not Gemma.
00:03:08You are joking, right?
00:03:21Not.
00:03:25I met Gemma just under a week and a half ago.
00:03:29And...
00:03:30It was half a year to be more related, and that we were twins.
00:03:34And...
00:03:34I mean...
00:03:36You were even surprised with the piano play.
00:03:50Myles, please.
00:03:51Can you explain?
00:03:52John, I...
00:03:53You could have just said no, all right?
00:03:55Instead of making that ridiculous story.
00:04:00Look, it's...
00:04:01Miles, please.
00:04:07Miles, please.
00:04:17You
00:04:32Barrel problem
00:05:00I don't know this rubbish doolong, I don't want the electric to go on through my roof.
00:05:07Come on Trace, have a dance, yeah come on Trace.
00:05:13Some of us have work to do.
00:05:17Work? You've not had a job since 99's heaven.
00:05:22Trace, I'm working, alright.
00:05:26You're all good in there.
00:05:29Definitely a scam.
00:05:45Linda's a tenner mum.
00:05:47Not me of the money.
00:05:48Don't be so stingy I don't get paid for another two weeks.
00:05:52I'm sure I can work somewhere out.
00:05:54You want a job, cash in hand.
00:05:56Sounds good, what are you scheming?
00:05:58Me scheming?
00:06:07Trace's luxury getaway isn't this about?
00:06:09No you mine.
00:06:10More than mine.
00:06:12Okay.
00:06:13You remember that holiday letter scheme I had?
00:06:17Well you're going to have to be more specific than that.
00:06:19The cockroaches.
00:06:21Oh gross, yeah.
00:06:22What about it?
00:06:22Yeah.
00:06:22Well those cheap places they don't give refunds do they?
00:06:26They give vouchers.
00:06:28But I ran that scheme five times before they worked it out.
00:06:31Now I've got good credit.
00:06:34Okay.
00:06:35So I now rent a place, sublet it on my website.
00:06:43I've put a few targeted adverts in posh areas.
00:06:47Surely this can't work?
00:06:49It has.
00:06:51I've just rented an art deco cottage.
00:06:54I've rented it a couple of days either side.
00:06:57So you can go in, sort the place out,
00:06:59then clean up before the real owners get in and check it out.
00:07:04How much then?
00:07:06Fifty quid.
00:07:11Deal.
00:07:17Oh god it's me Ed, what's he want?
00:07:19Come on.
00:07:24Hello.
00:07:26Yes, this is she.
00:07:29Yes, I've just got your booking.
00:07:33Oh, I'm just wondering how private and secure your listing is.
00:07:37Yes, the family does need security in a private environment.
00:07:41Don't worry, it's a lovely quiet area.
00:07:45Perfect for walks.
00:07:47Oh, excellent.
00:07:49One of our party will be coming and arriving on the Saturday
00:07:53and the rest of the party will be arriving the following day.
00:07:57Perfect.
00:07:59And you're happy to pay for the security in advance?
00:08:04Oh yes, of course.
00:08:05That's not a problem.
00:08:07Wonderful.
00:08:09You will of course get it back when we've checked over the property
00:08:13after your client leaves.
00:08:15Oh, wonderful.
00:08:17If I have any more questions, I'll give you another ring.
00:08:20I'm happy to have served you madam.
00:08:23Okay, goodbye.
00:08:24Bye bye.
00:08:26Is everything gone fact?
00:08:28Oh yes, Princess.
00:08:29Your getaway makes.
00:08:31Would you like me to tell this in Her Majesty?
00:08:34No, no.
00:08:35I'll tell them at the luncheon.
00:08:37Is anything wrong, Princess?
00:08:39You do look as though you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders.
00:08:44I have something to tell them when we're on holiday.
00:08:47And I don't think they're going to be very happy with me.
00:08:50I'm happy to listen.
00:08:53Perhaps I'm just being silly.
00:08:54Anyway, we need to look at next week's schedule.
00:09:00Of course.
00:09:03The schedule.
00:09:03The schedule.
00:09:09Ah.
00:09:16Oh my, we're falling.
00:09:19Gens, what are you doing?
00:09:20You're going to choke?
00:09:22Oh yes.
00:09:29Oh my, we're falling.
00:09:32James, what are you doing?
00:09:36I told you
00:09:38Shut up
00:09:43Do you think there should be more to life than there?
00:09:46What do you mean?
00:09:47I feel stuck, you know
00:09:48Same old job, same old friends, same old
00:09:51Everything, you know
00:09:53Until I went lottery or marry a prince
00:09:54This is all we've got
00:09:59And what about us?
00:10:00What do you mean?
00:10:01Where do you see us heading?
00:10:02I'm not having kids if that's what you mean
00:10:03No, I don't mean
00:10:05My mum will kill me if I make her a grandmother
00:10:08I'm being silly
00:10:09She's got a knife in the garage, bigger than Rambos
00:10:14You said you had something to tell me, is that it?
00:10:16No, it's my wife
00:10:39It's gorgeous
00:10:41Yes, a little bohemian
00:10:43What do you know about bohemian?
00:10:45You're a ponting scout
00:10:47Watch it, trappy
00:10:49Besides, I wish I could stay here
00:10:51It's already spotless
00:10:53What do we do then?
00:10:55Well, we've got to clean up her for ourselves
00:10:56And then we've got to swap the brochures and the guest books to me mum
00:10:59So they think it's hers
00:11:00Oh, easy
00:11:02Besides, we wouldn't make that much mess, will we?
00:11:10Do you know what?
00:11:12Huh?
00:11:13Mine's done exciting anymore
00:11:16What about that fella that tried chatting us up in the club last week?
00:11:19He was fake
00:11:21Oh, no, not my time
00:11:23Yeah, well, it's my old your time
00:11:25Hmm
00:11:27He used to be, boy
00:11:29Hmm, no beats my ass
00:11:30Hmm
00:11:31Yeah
00:11:55Stop, don't take my pillows away
00:11:58These are my pillows, Wolf
00:12:08Oh, my God
00:12:09They're checking in on that, Wolf
00:12:11Quick away
00:12:15Keep your arm on
00:12:20Hey
00:12:21Oh, yeah, mum
00:12:23Oh, yeah, we're fine
00:12:25Just doing final checks and that
00:12:28Yeah, yeah, when the first person arrives
00:12:32Yeah, yeah, fine, fine
00:12:34Yeah, later
00:12:38Clean up
00:12:39Now
00:12:39Okay
00:12:41Okay
00:12:42Okay
00:12:42Oh, my God.
00:13:17Oh, great. We're here.
00:13:20Oh, finally.
00:13:22It'd be so good to just relax and not have to think about my duties.
00:13:25And I've just got one last email to send.
00:13:27Oh, OK. I'll go and grab the keys.
00:13:49Oh, excuse me. Morning. Sorry a bit, Lily.
00:13:53No problem. We're just finished. I've got the keys here for you.
00:13:58Oh, thank you.
00:14:01I'll give these to my boss.
00:14:02Right, I'll just go grab my colleague.
00:14:29I'll give them a break.
00:14:33Babe, I'm going to make a dash to the train, all right?
00:14:35Me auntie wants her nails doing and she's always generous.
00:14:40OK, I'll see you later, sweet.
00:14:48I'm shooting up. Have a lovely stay.
00:14:51Oh, thank you.
00:15:00I think I'll get a crash in the car.
00:15:02She looks much more relaxing, right?
00:15:03Don't you let it over here?
00:15:05Oh, are you sure you'll be OK?
00:15:07You might just...
00:15:08Oh, yes, there's a little shop just down the road.
00:15:12A corner shop?
00:15:15Have you ever been in a shop before?
00:15:18Is it like hand-rains?
00:15:21I'll see you...
00:15:23Thanks.
00:15:27I'll see you later.
00:15:27Have a great day.
00:16:01Oh, wow. You really are letting it all hang out, aren't you, Princess?
00:16:07Oh, you should put a cardigan on in case of the paparazzi.
00:16:11Oh, and to keep you warm.
00:16:13What?
00:16:15I'll have to run now, Princess.
00:16:17Excuse me.
00:16:18Oh.
00:16:20I've got to go and do a shift at the tea bag factory and have a hot pot.
00:16:27Oh, you do amuse me, Princess.
00:16:29Call me Princess again and I'll show you how amusing I can be.
00:16:34There are, love.
00:16:49Sorry, love.
00:16:50I mean, madam, I've just left my phone.
00:16:53I'll just grab it.
00:17:02Oh, don't mind me.
00:17:13No!
00:17:18Listen, I've had the place redecorated.
00:17:21Now, I've already put in some scratches so they'll knock 10% off, but you'll have to pay for the
00:17:26rest.
00:17:30Maybe it's time your constituencies and your wife found out what it is you get up to.
00:17:40Don't get funny with me, buddy boy.
00:17:42I've still got the photos.
00:17:44You've got plenty of money.
00:17:49Good.
00:17:50That's better.
00:17:52Now, I'll want it in my account by the end of the day.
00:17:58Who was that?
00:17:59Mayor.
00:18:00What?
00:18:01I used to date him about 10 years back.
00:18:05You wouldn't believe the dirt I've got on him.
00:18:10Oh, my gosh.
00:18:12That's a girl I feel sorry for.
00:18:15Anyway, what can I do for you, lover boy?
00:18:19I've come to see Gemma.
00:18:21Oh, she's not here.
00:18:22She's at our holiday cottage.
00:18:25You've got a holiday cottage?
00:18:26Yes.
00:18:27Well, kind of.
00:18:29Anyway, she'll be back in a few hours.
00:18:35This is well bizarre.
00:18:39Maybe we're ducks, Gainis.
00:18:41I think they're a bit more than lookalikes, Flower.
00:18:44So, what are we?
00:18:46Who's your dad?
00:18:49Well, my father is king of a small island under British rule.
00:18:54That's good.
00:18:55Because my mum's the queen of Sheba, love.
00:18:57Is she broken?
00:19:00Oh, he was born in this country.
00:19:03They had to reside here during the coup.
00:19:06The heir of my lord is prone to it, unfortunately.
00:19:09We did try to move back.
00:19:11But ended up right here.
00:19:14So, technically, my father is nothing more than lord.
00:19:20Well, that sucks.
00:19:22Was your dad a bit of a lathario?
00:19:24I beg your pardon?
00:19:26I never met my dad.
00:19:28My mum says they were like ships passing at night.
00:19:31He might have done everything more than a night, would they?
00:19:33You know what I mean?
00:19:3433 years ago.
00:19:35What's your birthday?
00:19:38April 1st.
00:19:40Mine too.
00:19:44But I'm 39.
00:19:47Fine, all right.
00:19:49I'm 39.
00:19:51We're Rosalie twins.
00:19:53Everything matches.
00:19:54Well, how are we going to find out?
00:19:56Hang on.
00:20:01Where are you?
00:20:02I've got a question for you, Mum.
00:20:04All right, let's be out.
00:20:06Was my old man a king or the lord?
00:20:09What are you talking about?
00:20:11Are you taking the mick?
00:20:13No, do you reckon he was?
00:20:15He were barely a court, just a love.
00:20:18Well, I don't suppose you had two kids and gave one away.
00:20:24Have you been drinking again?
00:20:37I mean, it's impossible.
00:20:39My mother gave birth to me.
00:20:41Well, it's a mystery.
00:20:45Hold on.
00:20:48You're kidding me.
00:20:50What?
00:20:50I'm just dreaming.
00:20:52Wait.
00:20:54What the hell, like?
00:20:57You're not dreaming.
00:20:59It's real.
00:21:00Look, I'm going to have to go soon.
00:21:03Why?
00:21:04Yeah, I've got to get back on the grind.
00:21:06I can't sit here with you all day, being a princess.
00:21:11Well, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
00:21:13I can assure you.
00:21:15Yeah, well, try being me.
00:21:17Trying to scrape by with a boring boyfriend,
00:21:20who I'm pretty sure can't stand me right now.
00:21:24Let alone me mother.
00:21:25Christ!
00:21:26She's not nice.
00:21:29No.
00:21:30I wouldn't say that, but she's just complicated.
00:21:34She must be doing all right, though.
00:21:37She has a second property.
00:21:38So what's so bad about your life, princess?
00:21:44Well, I'm expected to act a certain way.
00:21:48I'm object a certain image, and, well, I just don't feel true to myself.
00:21:55I have to have dinners with noughts, ladies, politicians, kings and queens sometimes.
00:22:03I mean, I even used to date William before we met Kate.
00:22:07Seriously?
00:22:09Yes.
00:22:11It's just such an effort, having to dress up all the time and be so demure.
00:22:21What is it?
00:22:27Well, we went to a gala a few weeks ago.
00:22:32And there was a lady playing the piano.
00:22:35I've been learning the piano for years, and I stopped to listen to her.
00:22:44But my mother wouldn't let me.
00:22:48She said she was nearly the hire to help.
00:22:51I just didn't understand why they made me learn to play.
00:22:57If I wasn't ever able to.
00:23:01I felt so trapped.
00:23:05And she just looked so free.
00:23:08Well, I can tell you being the hire to help ain't what it's cracked up to be.
00:23:14I'd love to feel important.
00:23:17You know, be the centre of attention.
00:23:21I have an idea.
00:23:24What?
00:23:27Why don't we swap places for a week?
00:23:30You're having a laugh, aren't you?
00:23:33No.
00:23:34I'm being serious.
00:23:35A week?
00:23:39Why not?
00:23:40We're identical.
00:23:42We just need to go over everything that we need to know.
00:23:50Bugger it.
00:23:51Why not?
00:23:53You're serious, that is too.
00:23:58Why not?
00:24:13You're innocent.
00:24:14Why not?
00:24:20You're not a liar.
00:24:22I only want to go over everything.
00:24:23Get up.
00:24:23It's run.
00:24:23You are trying to get consciousness-
00:24:25You're not.
00:24:25What's the направist-
00:24:26Look what?
00:24:26You are right.
00:24:38Sorry. I know it's late. How are you getting on?
00:24:43Getting there.
00:24:46I have an idea.
00:24:48Keep me with it.
00:24:50Well, I know a photographer and I can get access to his studio in the morning.
00:24:55So he could go through the physical side of it all.
00:24:58What do you mean?
00:25:02Well, you walk like a member of Oasis.
00:25:05No offence.
00:25:07None taken.
00:25:09I need to teach you how to walk, talk and eat like a princess.
00:25:12What next? Poop like a princess?
00:25:16How vulgar.
00:25:18I've got my work cut out for me.
00:25:20Sorry.
00:25:22You get some sleep now.
00:25:23You've got to start early before my family arrives.
00:25:29I want to talk like a princess.
00:25:36I want to walk like a princess.
00:25:42I want to dress to impress like a princess.
00:25:52But I'm not going to be your princess.
00:25:57I'm going to be my own princess.
00:26:00My own princess.
00:26:02Be my own princess.
00:26:06Be my own princess.
00:26:10I am going to talk like a princess.
00:26:17I am going to walk like a princess.
00:26:24I am going to dress like a princess.
00:26:31I am going to be.
00:26:34I am going to be my own princess.
00:26:41I am a princess.
00:26:55I am a princess.
00:27:10I am a princess.
00:27:12Yeah.
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:15I'll get Bonnie to pick you up from here.
00:27:17And I'll get a new Uber to take to me.
00:27:19I think.
00:27:24What a beautiful birthday.
00:27:27Yeah, I get that.
00:27:30We're going to have to swap clothes too.
00:27:34Oh, this is really comfy
00:27:38Well, you need to stand and straighten up, shoulders back
00:27:45You know, good luck
00:27:47I'll get a taxi to pick you up and drop you off at mine
00:27:49It's just opposite the flower shop
00:27:54I'm nervous
00:27:55Well, I'd say it don't, but my mum can be a bit scarier sometimes
00:28:12Morning, you all right?
00:28:16Nice, um, your family's waiting for you at the holiday cartilage
00:28:21Spiffing, one's high tea
00:28:23High tea?
00:28:25Yeah, like cucumber sandwiches and all that
00:28:30All that?
00:28:33Are you playing with me?
00:28:37Oh, yeah, um, you got me
00:28:41After you, your own highness
00:29:02I do
00:29:04I don't do
00:29:06I don't know, I don't have a bun
00:29:14What about you, Ed?
00:29:16Bloody hell, Gemma
00:29:18I only saw you yesterday
00:29:21You'd been on the extra and siders last night
00:29:36Well, well, well, well, the princess returns
00:29:40Her Majesty has deemed to share her presence
00:29:44Excuse me
00:29:47Excuse me
00:29:47I don't know what you're talking about
00:29:49So, look
00:29:51Was Gemma with you last night?
00:29:53No, I thought she was back here
00:29:59Well, um, I just fancied a night out
00:30:03I mean
00:30:04Is that a trend?
00:30:07Do what you like
00:30:08I had to entertain your dopey boyfriend
00:30:13Oh, Miles, for God's sake
00:30:16Bloody hell, lad
00:30:17It's like looking in a butcher's window
00:30:18Cover yourself up
00:30:19James
00:30:20Can we, uh
00:30:21Can we have a chat later?
00:30:45Yeah
00:30:53Oh, Connie
00:30:54Oh, thank God
00:30:56We've been stuck here without any help for an hour
00:30:59It's been frightful
00:31:01We're dying for a cup of tea
00:31:02I've no idea how the contraption works
00:31:05The thing
00:31:07You mean the kettle
00:31:09Or that
00:31:10Don't worry, Your Majesty
00:31:12I'll make the tea
00:31:13Is Diana here yet?
00:31:16She's, uh, outside in the courtyard
00:31:18Oh, God
00:31:20All right
00:31:23Oh, what's the matter, Your Majesty?
00:31:25Since when do you call Father now, Your Majesty and Lady?
00:31:30I'm sorry, Mother
00:31:32Did Nancy do your make-up?
00:31:35It's too much
00:31:36You look like one of those American princesses
00:31:39I did my make-up
00:31:41Well, it looks like you've used a spray can, darling
00:31:44Have your sister do it
00:31:46Nancy has the week off
00:31:48Diana?
00:31:49Yes, Diana
00:31:50Go on
00:31:51Shoo-shoo
00:31:57Hey, sis
00:32:01You've never called me sis before
00:32:04Um, heavens, who did your make-up?
00:32:07A mortician
00:32:09Um, Mother's asked you to help me
00:32:13Fine
00:32:26Oh, it's great
00:32:28Don't make habits of it
00:32:31Thank you, Diana
00:32:32I don't think you've thanked me for anything
00:32:36Oh
00:32:39Sorry
00:32:41And you've never apologised, either
00:32:43Did you get a visit from three ghosts last night?
00:32:46Did they know they're too late for Christmas?
00:32:50So
00:32:52What do you think about the holiday cottage?
00:32:55I don't know what possessed you to book this
00:32:56When we could have gone to Uncle Giles' chateau in Monaco
00:33:01I think it's nice to switch things up a little
00:33:04You're odd today, Carinthia
00:33:06Very, very odd
00:33:08I'm just happy to see you
00:33:10Ew
00:33:11Look, just pick out a nice dress
00:33:13Daddy's been invited to love with Nell's latest gathering
00:33:16Where to make our token appearances
00:33:20Is it going to be posh?
00:33:23Lords, dignitaries, royalty
00:33:25Not posh at all, darling
00:33:29Did you bang your head?
00:33:51Alright, love
00:33:52I was about to bet all you
00:34:04And they are going to find out
00:34:08Yes, they're going to find out
00:34:10About you
00:34:12I know your secret
00:34:21Oh my God
00:34:22This is an open bar
00:34:24Is it not?
00:34:28The bar is paid for, yes
00:34:33Drink Connie?
00:34:36I can't, I'm working
00:34:39I think you just need to relax
00:34:41You look a little uptight
00:34:50Come on, let's go out
00:34:58Better get off soon, covering someone's shift
00:35:02I really want to go clubbing tonight instead
00:35:05Oh, I don't, yeah
00:35:07Because if I don't work
00:35:09I don't get paid
00:35:10Don't get paid
00:35:11Can't pay me bill
00:35:12On and on it goes
00:35:13Right?
00:35:14You can't just ask for some money off your parents
00:35:17My jailbird, Daddy
00:35:20If you're a loob buried somewhere
00:35:21I wouldn't tell me where it was
00:35:23Mum's more broke than me
00:35:28How long have we known each other now?
00:35:32Blimey
00:35:32What were we?
00:35:35Ball
00:35:36Pies
00:35:37Back in primary school
00:35:38And a lifetime of shenanigans ever since
00:35:44Did I ever tell you about me, Dad?
00:35:47Only that your mum didn't know who it was
00:35:49But do you think she's lying about that?
00:35:53Honestly
00:35:54I never know where you are, Mark
00:35:56What, she's a lover
00:36:00Should we get ready for Miles?
00:36:03Yeah
00:36:05Look, if you're going to dump him
00:36:06Let him down gently
00:36:08Alright?
00:36:10He's a nice guy
00:36:12Why would she, I mean, why would I dump him?
00:36:14What about Harmony Grant?
00:36:15Do you remember her?
00:36:16Or Daphne Breen?
00:36:18Daphne
00:36:18Oh, never mind
00:36:20Go easy on him, alright?
00:36:24Yeah, okay
00:36:26Do you know the way to Nashall?
00:36:28That's where we've got a meeting
00:36:29You don't remember?
00:36:31Well, not exactly, no
00:36:32Throw her a cab with me
00:36:33We'll dump you off on the way, sweet
00:36:56Honestly, Carinthia
00:36:58I've never seen you act like that before
00:37:10What were you drinking?
00:37:13Not beer, was it?
00:37:15It was bitter, Papa
00:37:17A princess does not drink bitter beer, lager
00:37:23Or anything you might find in a public house
00:37:28Unless it's high-class spirits
00:37:31Like champagne
00:37:33And good champagne at that
00:37:35Can I not drink cider?
00:37:39What?
00:37:39It was a genuine question
00:37:40Listen, Carinthia
00:37:42You need to start to improve your behaviour
00:37:45We have our reputation to uphold
00:37:50Show some decorum
00:37:52Not doing that, okay
00:37:59Well, that went surprisingly well
00:38:05Anyway, what's the decorum?
00:38:09It's like etiquette
00:38:12You took classes in it
00:38:16Oh
00:38:24You've upset your father, your lady
00:38:27I'm 39, your mother
00:38:31Well, perhaps you should act like it
00:38:33Now, we have something important for you to do next week
00:38:36Father has some friends in Switzerland
00:38:38Very upper crust
00:38:40He's told them you spent two years at RADA
00:38:43And performed plays across Europe
00:38:46Why'd you tell them that?
00:38:48Because you did, Carinthia
00:38:51So, we'd like you to do a short performance for them
00:38:55We've booked a rehearsal space in two days
00:38:58We'll let you know what play it is when we decide
00:39:01But you know them all off by heart anyway
00:39:05Gee
00:39:07Thanks
00:39:09Stick to her leg glue
00:39:11Make sure she's focused
00:39:12And no more foolishness
00:39:14Okay, Connie?
00:39:17Yes, Your Majesty
00:39:32Wiles?
00:39:35Hello?
00:39:37Are you here?
00:39:41Myles?
00:39:45Myles?
00:39:49Myles?
00:39:50Myles?
00:39:54Myles?
00:39:55Myles?
00:39:55Myles?
00:39:55Myles?
00:39:56Myles?
00:39:57Myles?
00:39:57Myles?
00:39:59Myles?
00:39:59Myles?
00:39:59Myles?
00:39:59Myles?
00:40:00Myles?
00:40:00Myles?
00:40:00Myles?
00:40:01Myles?
00:40:05Myles?
00:41:43Gemma, that was amazing.
00:41:45Like, I'm genuinely stunned.
00:41:48It was nothing.
00:41:50Why didn't you say you could play music? I mean, I know you went to acting school, but music? You
00:41:56should have said.
00:41:59People like me don't get to show off, really. Besides, one cares.
00:42:06I care. I care. You know, I love music.
00:42:10You do?
00:42:12You know I do. I used to play when I was younger.
00:42:16You know, no one here as good as I was. That was brilliant.
00:42:26You know, it's not a bad place to work, is it?
00:42:34What do you do?
00:42:36What do you do?
00:42:37James, I told you about this last time I was here. Like, you're in your own pub sometimes, I sort
00:42:43of.
00:42:44I'm the maintenance guy, so I make sure the stage mechanics and the sound are ticked up.
00:42:52How marvelous.
00:43:00I need to lock up now, okay? So why don't we go for a walk and go to the pub?
00:43:06Have a game of darts? Yeah, let's have a game of darts and a few drinks.
00:43:11Um, why don't we go on a walk? I mean, it's a lovely day out and do you know any
00:43:20good viewpoints?
00:43:25Sure, yeah. And maybe we can have a chat about things.
00:43:36You sure it's not dodgy?
00:43:38Would I do anything dodgy?
00:43:41Yeah, why'd you get him?
00:43:43A random line at a jewelers I do some cleaning at.
00:43:47They were just going to throw it out, don't we?
00:43:49How?
00:43:50Not a cabbage trace. It's a story.
00:43:56Hey, what's up in it?
00:43:59Even some diamonds.
00:44:01Of course, I'll give them a cut once we've sold it.
00:44:05What I need you to do is to pass it off on a couple of porn shops in town.
00:44:09Why can't you do it?
00:44:11You know I would, but I've heard many.
00:44:13And technically, I'm on disability benefits, so they can't sit me rushing up and downtown.
00:44:20No, between porn shops.
00:44:23Hmm, think about it.
00:44:24Yeah.
00:44:25I don't think too long, love.
00:44:36Oh, careful.
00:44:39Are you alright?
00:44:39Yeah.
00:44:43You know, it's so beautiful out here.
00:44:47It's so peaceful.
00:44:50Yeah, I know.
00:44:51It's...
00:44:52It's...
00:44:53Well, I come up here quite a lot, you know, to clear my head and...
00:44:57I can see why.
00:45:00Really?
00:45:02This...
00:45:02This isn't your cup of tea jams, right?
00:45:05You...
00:45:05You never really wanted to do this.
00:45:08More for me, innit?
00:45:11Yeah, I suppose.
00:45:17You cold?
00:45:19Yeah, it's chillier than I thought.
00:45:22Come here.
00:45:27This isn't normal.
00:45:28Really?
00:45:29Yeah.
00:45:32But...
00:45:32Right now, normally you'd say,
00:45:34Huggins woke and...
00:45:35Lack your ass off.
00:45:41What did you need to tell me?
00:45:50Do you think we're good together?
00:45:51What do you mean?
00:45:53I don't know, sometimes I feel like you're not really that into me.
00:45:58No, I'm sorry.
00:46:00Sometimes I just get caught up in myself.
00:46:02Look.
00:46:05You're really warm hearted and you're wonderful.
00:46:08I mean, is that...
00:46:09That's a bit forward of me to say.
00:46:12Not really, James.
00:46:13Like, we have been going out for a year now.
00:46:22Come on.
00:46:24Shall we get you home?
00:46:25Hmm.
00:46:27Hmm.
00:46:50There's something that I tell.
00:46:53You won't care, sister.
00:46:54You never do.
00:46:55Of course I did.
00:46:57Shouldn't you be offering a grovelling apology to Mumsy and Dadsy?
00:47:01Dadsy already gave me a rollicking.
00:47:04Rollicking?
00:47:05Yeah, you know what I mean.
00:47:09Must say, I find it rather amusing.
00:47:16Okay, sis.
00:47:19What's his name?
00:47:20What's he doing?
00:47:22How on earth do you know?
00:47:25Hmm.
00:47:26I knew that luck.
00:47:28Come on then, Maradie Bomb.
00:47:33It's Nathaniel.
00:47:35He's up to his old tricks again.
00:47:37Father is insistent that he's going to make an excellent husband.
00:47:41But...
00:47:42He's only considering Nathaniel's family and their standing.
00:47:46As for Nathaniel himself.
00:47:49So he's a moron then?
00:47:53Yes.
00:47:54I suppose so.
00:47:58He might have been born with him for wealth, but...
00:48:01Not so much of a brain.
00:48:05That is Nathaniel done.
00:48:09Oh, he can't keep his hands off the maids.
00:48:13His father set a fire several of the house staff for fraternising with Nathaniel after dark.
00:48:19Yeah.
00:48:20So he can't be trusted?
00:48:22God, it's ridiculous.
00:48:24These men in high society are almost expected to behave like this and suffer no consequences.
00:48:29Hmm.
00:48:30Oh.
00:48:31You should suffer consequences like a swift knee to the family jewels.
00:48:36Sister...
00:48:38Perhaps you're right.
00:48:41Besides...
00:48:43Those 12 months studying judo under Grand Master Takashi that father paid for...
00:48:48I suppose I could put them to good use.
00:48:55What's over you two?
00:48:59Don't settle for second best.
00:49:03Always follow your heart.
00:49:06I mean, you might not always be right.
00:49:10Would it be your bad?
00:49:13And not father's judgement?
00:49:18I suppose I should get ready to face him.
00:49:21I'm going to Nathaniel's family manor tonight with Mumsy and Dadsy.
00:49:28Forget the bit about the knee to the spuds.
00:49:31Forget the bit about the knee to the spuds.
00:49:34Just be firm.
00:49:37And honest.
00:49:43Hmm.
00:50:03A cup of tea?
00:50:06I'm...
00:50:07sure.
00:50:09You look so surprised.
00:50:12You've never made a cup of tea before.
00:50:15You usually ask me.
00:50:18Well, I can assure you that I make a great fruit.
00:50:22So sit down.
00:50:23Relax. Take weight off.
00:50:27You seem very different.
00:50:48I'm impressed.
00:50:50Hmm.
00:50:51It's only a cup of tea, Connie.
00:50:56Anyway.
00:50:57I've been an agony aunt all day.
00:50:59So if you want to chat, go away.
00:51:02Me?
00:51:04Chat?
00:51:06About what?
00:51:10Your love life?
00:51:13My love life?
00:51:15Good God!
00:51:17If you want to talk about disasters, let's talk about, I don't know, Pompeii or Titanic.
00:51:25So there's no man in your life?
00:51:28No.
00:51:29No man.
00:51:31No woman either.
00:51:36Well, the truth is, working for a family of royals takes all my time.
00:51:41Don't get me wrong.
00:51:43I do love it.
00:51:44But it takes all my time.
00:51:47And I am on call 24-7.
00:51:50Well, we need to set some boundaries and some times.
00:51:54What?
00:51:54You know, workers' rights and all that.
00:52:00You, of all people, are saying that?
00:52:08Anyway.
00:52:09This tea looks like it needs biscuits.
00:52:13And I know you work with the royals and probably love a rich tea.
00:52:18But I prefer custard cream.
00:52:21Me too!
00:52:23Do you know what?
00:52:24I've got some upstairs in my suitcase.
00:52:29My guilty pleasure.
00:52:32Go grab them then.
00:52:43Yeah, I've got my daughter's mate to do it.
00:52:46She's gonna do the ones for me.
00:52:48It's a bit scary, but I reckon there's a fair few grand there.
00:52:53How do you think I've got it?
00:52:56Five-finger discount, mate.
00:52:59Oh, yeah.
00:53:00You'd be surprised at what I've stolen.
00:53:16Whatever she's told you to do, don't do it.
00:53:18Why not?
00:53:19Well, I think she's doing something unlawful.
00:53:22So, Gora.
00:53:22So what?
00:53:24You can't take the risk for someone else.
00:53:27Lighten up, gems.
00:53:29You've been well uptight lately.
00:53:32Come on.
00:53:33Let's have a rave.
00:53:44Come on.
00:53:45You're moving away.
00:53:49Oh, God.
00:53:50Look at my neck with all the strings.
00:53:53Come on.
00:53:54Come on.
00:53:55I'm moving away.
00:53:58Oh, gosh.
00:54:00Look at my neck with all the strings.
00:54:02Come on.
00:54:04Oh, my God.
00:54:42This is...
00:54:45This is much nicer.
00:54:50It is, actually.
00:55:20What are you two girls doing?
00:55:25What do you think?
00:55:27We were just dancing, Your Majesty.
00:55:30Dancing? Why?
00:55:32I was teaching her how to dance.
00:55:36If I had a reason for Carina to dance,
00:55:38we would have hired a teacher.
00:55:41From the Royal London School of Ballet to teach her.
00:55:46We've tried that once, Ralph.
00:55:48She has no rhythm. Like Bambi on ice.
00:55:51Oh, yeah, it's yes. Of course.
00:55:55A word, Colony.
00:56:05Yeah, come in to the seat.
00:56:08Right, come in to your mind, gentlemen.
00:56:11I think you need to start to focus a bit.
00:56:15We've got a busy year ahead.
00:56:18It's very important that everybody is on the ball.
00:56:22You have a reputation, too.
00:56:24Right you are, Kingy.
00:56:26Kingy.
00:56:27Kingy.
00:56:28Sorry for...
00:56:31...prepare for a performance to the theatre.
00:56:34I want to see your...
00:56:36...Midsummer Night's Dream.
00:56:39All my best.
00:56:40Perhaps, Hamlet?
00:56:43What?
00:56:45Prepare yourself.
00:56:48You'll do a pre-run the day after tomorrow.
00:56:52And then next week, you'll perform in Switzerland.
00:56:58This is bad.
00:57:00I mean, I haven't acted in years in Shakespeare.
00:57:04It's so old.
00:57:07He's dead in me.
00:57:11I should hope so.
00:57:27It's just too much for me.
00:57:31I'm not what you want me to be.
00:57:35To be.
00:57:37Or not.
00:57:38To be.
00:58:02To be.
00:58:04Or not.
00:58:06To be.
00:58:08To be.
00:58:09To be.
00:58:09To be.
00:58:10To be or not
00:58:14To be, to be
00:58:18It's just too much for me
00:58:22I'm not what you want
00:58:35Mindy
00:58:42Oh, you finished for a day?
00:58:46Yeah, no, we need to get off now
00:58:48Because there's a booking
00:58:49But I need to meet at PA
00:58:52Oh, yeah, yeah, um
00:58:54I'll stay out, you're right
00:58:57And then we can go to the park
00:59:16Oh, no, it's Miss Frempton
00:59:18Is it? I think it's okay?
00:59:20Yeah, um, the lights are on
00:59:22The theatre's yours
00:59:23The caretaker will be back later
00:59:25To lock up when you're done
00:59:26And I just need to go back inside
00:59:28To pack some stuff away
00:59:29And then I'll be gone
00:59:34This is King Ralph
00:59:36Queen Christine
00:59:38And their daughter
00:59:39Princess Diana
00:59:41Of the Isle of Marwood
00:59:42Um, it's
00:59:44It's really long to meet you
00:59:46I'm so sorry
00:59:47I found my squirt with my parents
00:59:48Oh, not at all
00:59:49You've covered them working very hard
00:59:51I do my best
00:59:54Can you show us to Lizzie or two?
00:59:58Miss Corinthians here
00:59:59Doing warm-up exercises, apparently
01:00:04This way
01:00:09Right, you get ready
01:00:11And then head over to the maze stage
01:00:14Do you want me to tell you where it is?
01:00:16I know where it is
01:00:18Oh
01:00:19Well
01:00:21Good luck then
01:00:26Oh
01:00:27Sorry, I thought
01:00:34Connie
01:01:01What's going on?
01:01:03Come on, darling
01:01:04We haven't got all day
01:01:14What's the matter with you?
01:01:17You've been through
01:01:18Summer Night's Dream
01:01:19A hundred times
01:01:21I'm so stressed
01:01:22I've got so much going on here
01:01:24I just can't remember anything
01:01:27Can you remember anything?
01:01:32The passage form
01:01:35Romeo
01:01:35I need you to be my wrong hand
01:01:40Time, fine
01:01:54Romeo
01:01:56Romeo
01:01:58Romeo
01:01:58Romeo
01:02:01Romeo
01:02:02We fall out
01:02:03I remove you
01:02:08Can I
01:02:09Thou
01:02:10Will not
01:02:12But be swung
01:02:16By love
01:02:20And I'll no longer be a cabinet
01:02:28And I'll no longer be a cabinet
01:02:32I'm in volleyball
01:02:33What did I do?
01:02:47Are you okay, your majesty?
01:02:50It's silly really
01:02:52I just have bittersweet memories of that play
01:02:57I was watching a performance of Romeo and Juliet when my water broke
01:03:01Well, not very legal behaviour on my part
01:03:05I'll be back out in a second
01:03:11Is she okay?
01:03:14Yes
01:03:14Oh, she'll be back soon
01:03:17I think we'll call it a dance performance
01:03:20It was okay, I liked it, Quincy
01:03:23But
01:03:25I think
01:03:25We were doing better off with one of the other plays
01:03:29Mother wasn't a fan
01:03:31Well
01:03:32I think it was a play she was watching while she was in labour
01:03:38Oh, dear
01:03:41Oh, my darling child
01:03:45My little Juliet
01:03:48I do wonder where you are
01:03:59Mother
01:04:00Are you okay?
01:04:02I'm sorry, my darling
01:04:03I was being silly
01:04:07Did you change already?
01:04:10I'm
01:04:10Just very free
01:04:15Who's doing it with her?
01:04:18Oh, I don't want
01:04:19We can join you there
01:04:32I don't want
01:04:35I don't want
01:04:50Well, that's what Stacey said.
01:04:52Your mother's old cellmate.
01:04:54That's impossible.
01:04:55Is it, Jenna?
01:04:57We're twins.
01:04:59I mean, I know she messed up,
01:05:02but I just can't imagine her stealing a baby.
01:05:13Enemy.
01:05:15Sorry, His Majesty wants his golf cardigan.
01:05:18We simply can't play without it, apparently.
01:05:22Who'd have thought such young people would have been so important, eh?
01:05:35Oh, my.
01:06:07Are you okay, Connie?
01:06:10Carinthia?
01:06:12Yeah.
01:06:14It's me.
01:06:19Gemma.
01:06:28So it was you this past week.
01:06:32I knew something was different.
01:06:36You're the bitter drinker.
01:06:39Bitter?
01:06:41That's not important.
01:06:50I'll let Gemma explain.
01:06:52It's all got rather complicated.
01:06:55So it better be good.
01:07:00Your devious mother sublet of this place.
01:07:02We don't even know, isn't it?
01:07:04I met Carinthia when you checked in.
01:07:07I mean, it was obvious we were related,
01:07:09and we just wanted to know the truth.
01:07:12But you swapped places.
01:07:15You know what I'll say?
01:07:17She was tired of her life, and...
01:07:21Well, I just wanted to know what it felt like to be a princess for a while.
01:07:26I mean, we knew deep down it had something to do with...
01:07:30I mean, Mum, if I can even call her that.
01:07:34But...
01:07:35What did she do?
01:07:37Well, it turns out...
01:07:39She stole her baby when she was in prison.
01:07:42On the basis of the mother didn't need to.
01:07:45That's awful.
01:07:47Yeah, and the King and Queen kept it quiet.
01:07:51Well, I never heard anything about it.
01:07:54I can assure you.
01:07:56Yeah, but we need proof.
01:07:59You need to get evidence off me, Mum.
01:08:02You have to tell the King and Queen.
01:08:04We need to sort me, Mum, Tracy out for this.
01:08:09And then you'll tell the King.
01:08:11I kept wondering why your voice was different.
01:08:14And the accent kept slipping.
01:08:19Look.
01:08:21This is the real me.
01:08:24I'm just a gobby Yorkshire lass.
01:08:28I quite like it.
01:08:33I don't know what this means between us, though.
01:08:42Us.
01:08:44I like you.
01:08:46I really like you.
01:08:50Oh.
01:08:52Well.
01:09:15This will take some explaining to do
01:09:18to my employers
01:09:41Juliette
01:09:42What are you doing in my room?
01:09:45How could you?
01:09:47What?
01:09:48That's nothing
01:09:49Why did you lie to me, Tracy?
01:09:52How did you find out?
01:09:55Well, it turns out
01:09:57I met my twin sister, the bona fide princess
01:10:00when my real family checked into the holiday cottage
01:10:03Royals
01:10:05I knew they were rich, but royals
01:10:08I've got an idea
01:10:09You're coming with me to the cottage
01:10:11I'm not
01:10:11We're going to the police
01:10:13Oh, don't test me
01:10:16After all
01:10:17You're not my daughter, are you?
01:10:20Now, come on
01:10:21Get out of me!
01:10:28Pussed creams?
01:10:29Are you sure?
01:10:33Live a little
01:10:38There's no other way to say it no more than a daddy
01:10:41You've not brought Shane on the family, have you?
01:10:45No
01:10:47But
01:10:49I have a confession to make
01:10:52Over the past week
01:10:53Over the past week, it hasn't been me
01:10:56Silly girl
01:10:57You were here this morning, weren't you?
01:10:59It wasn't me
01:11:01She might have started her experimental phase, darling
01:11:06What have you taken, Carinthia?
01:11:10I'm not
01:11:12High
01:11:14Let me
01:11:15Shed some light
01:11:17It couldn't be
01:11:19My Juliet
01:11:20It must be you
01:11:22Not so fast, Queenie
01:11:24Stay there
01:11:25Who are you?
01:11:27I'm her mother
01:11:28You're not
01:11:30I raise you, you ungrateful cow
01:11:33Oi, you
01:11:34Here
01:11:37Come on, Princess, sit down
01:11:40What in heaven is this happening, Mummy?
01:11:53Get me the police
01:11:55Now!
01:11:57You're taking this terrible heart, James
01:11:59It's stopping if I'm too late
01:12:01I ain't going anywhere without some royal treasure
01:12:04Oh, sure
01:12:05We've got the crown jewels in our suitcase
01:12:07Don't try and fool me, King moron
01:12:10You wouldn't go anywhere without thousands of quid's worth of valuables on you
01:12:14I bet Queenie doesn't leave the house without some diamonds on her person
01:12:18So hand it over
01:12:19This family reunion is going to be short-lived
01:12:23I've got time
01:12:25Treasure
01:12:26Jewels
01:12:27Valuables
01:12:28Now
01:12:28I have nothing
01:12:30Oh, come on
01:12:31Otherwise Gemma or Juliet or whatever
01:12:34her bleeding name is now
01:12:36She's going to get it
01:12:37What about a bank transfer?
01:12:40Good idea
01:12:42I like you, Princess
01:12:43I want a million quid
01:12:45Now
01:12:49For God's sake, Daddy, just let me
01:12:51Hey, hey
01:12:52It'll be quicker if I do it
01:12:54Fine
01:12:55Get on with it
01:12:58What's your account number?
01:13:18Good thing we had that year learning from Grandmaster Takashi, hey?
01:13:30We're arresting you on suspicion of theft
01:13:32Handling and distribution of stolen goods
01:13:34Blackmail
01:13:35Kidnapping
01:13:36Attempted assault
01:13:37Attempted murder
01:13:38Let's see what else
01:13:41Fraud
01:13:41Yeah
01:13:42Yeah, fraud
01:13:43You didn't have to say anything
01:13:44But it may harm your defence if you fail to mention one question
01:13:47Anything that you later allow in in court
01:13:50I treated you all right, didn't I?
01:13:52We had some good times, didn't we?
01:13:58What possessed you to switch places with your sister?
01:14:03I just needed a break, Daddy
01:14:06We can't keep living by all these rules and restrictions
01:14:09It's almost like you don't trust us to live the lives we've always wished
01:14:13Without being able to hold the family name
01:14:16I'm sorry, Corinne, dear
01:14:19I'm sorry it puts so much pressure on you and I
01:14:23My father did the same with us
01:14:27It's heavy weight at the crown
01:14:31But we have to evolve with the times
01:14:34I mean, some of the traditions are just so archaic
01:14:37I have to fly to Switzerland next week and perform Shakespeare
01:14:41Listen, Quincy, really
01:14:43You don't have to go
01:14:46No, Daddy, I'll go
01:14:48But
01:14:50I have a better idea
01:14:53His lordship
01:14:54He loves Chopin, right?
01:14:56Yes
01:14:59Well, maybe
01:15:01I could play the piano for him instead
01:15:06Okay
01:15:07Okay
01:15:10I knew something didn't make sense this last week
01:15:12Winfrey was rarely that nice to me
01:15:15I think perhaps this family all need to be a bit more open and respectful with each other
01:15:20So, what should we call you now, sis? Gemma or Juliet?
01:15:25Well, I'll make us all a brew and then I'll just do salad
01:15:28I mean, I like Gemma, but I really like Juliet
01:15:32And I guess
01:15:33I know why not
01:15:35I know
01:15:44We've got something to tell you all
01:15:47No, it's not
01:15:48I know
01:15:53It's all
01:16:06It's all
01:16:14But
01:16:15it absolutely
01:16:15It's
01:16:15it's
01:16:28I'm sorry, James. I'm like, I can't.
01:16:35I told you. I'm not Jim.
01:16:41Not this again.
01:16:48She's telling true of me, Ed.
01:16:54What? I...
01:17:00Wiles, for the past week, I've fallen head over here in love with you.
01:17:07Gems, I didn't know anything about this. I'm sorry.
01:17:11Yeah, I know. But go on, big boy. You haven't been blessing.
01:17:20The question is, does your previous officer stand?
01:17:37Well, funnily enough, I kept it on me just in case.
01:17:41I know.
01:17:50Oh, my God.
01:17:52Oh, my God.
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