- 10 hours ago
29000 Wishes 1 Regret
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:02All the corner office. Top floor.
00:00:04Mm-hmm. The penthouse suite.
00:00:05Welcome to the new Alpern home.
00:00:08This is our foyer, sort of.
00:00:11Foyer number three.
00:00:13Fireplace. Beautiful view of downtown.
00:00:16Did you sketch? Did you get that?
00:00:18Good.
00:00:24You thought of everything.
00:00:25I did, Candles.
00:00:27Jennifer Alpern, you were such a romantic.
00:00:29Jennifer, I just measured it.
00:00:30We totally have room for a billiard table.
00:00:32Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:00:33Come on!
00:00:34No!
00:00:35First of all, I am a pool shark.
00:00:37You know I will kill you.
00:00:38You're a pool shark, but you don't play billiards.
00:00:39I can't believe you found that.
00:00:41I put it in the garage in a tiny box in the corner.
00:00:44Oh, it was cold.
00:00:45Honey, you've had that sweater since college.
00:00:48It's gross. It has holes in it.
00:00:49It smells like old beard.
00:00:52This is quality.
00:00:53Kevin, if you take off that sweater,
00:00:56I will make love to you in every room in this house.
00:01:01Starting right here.
00:01:03That's so itching.
00:01:05Turn to your left 90 degrees.
00:01:08Open your eyes.
00:01:11What is this?
00:01:12What do you think?
00:01:13What is it?
00:01:14Kiss me.
00:01:20Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:01:22And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:01:24And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:01:27That sounds really dramatic.
00:01:28I'm going to try it again.
00:01:30Hi, I'm Jennifer.
00:01:31This is Kevin, and we're here to tell you
00:01:33how we spent the last four months of our lives.
00:01:36You probably already know this,
00:01:37but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:01:39Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:01:42And then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:01:44Yeah, if we're going downhill anyway,
00:01:46why not be the masters of our own fate
00:01:47and decide when and how we're going to go under?
00:01:50We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:01:56Spend what we want when we want.
00:01:57Yeah, do all the things that we wanted to do,
00:02:00but now, due to the circumstances, can't do.
00:02:03So here we are kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:02:07Do you have anything else to say?
00:02:09Nope.
00:02:11I do miss everyone.
00:02:13Uh, just know that we had a really great time
00:02:15these last few months.
00:02:16Yeah.
00:02:17Oh, and, um, I love you, sis.
00:02:20I know we haven't talked in a long time,
00:02:23but I just want you to know
00:02:24I thought about you every day.
00:02:29I should probably shut it off now.
00:02:39You come clean
00:02:43And cause a scene
00:02:47My diary writes
00:02:51It's all lies
00:02:59It's all lies
00:03:26Who do you think you are?
00:03:30Lighting this place with dark
00:03:34My time is meant for play
00:03:38You have a better way
00:03:46That bad, huh?
00:03:48Can you say hell?
00:03:50I don't even see what the point is
00:03:52Hundreds of us, hundreds crammed into this little room
00:03:55The looks on everyone's faces just said it all
00:03:57Take me, I'll be your slave
00:03:59I'll work for next to nothing
00:04:01Pathetic
00:04:01You'll get it, I can feel it
00:04:03No, I won't
00:04:05I didn't pass my CPI
00:04:08Your what?
00:04:09Critical personality inventory exam
00:04:12It's an exam, they invented a test
00:04:14Whether your corporate policy gels with you
00:04:17Or your personality gels with them
00:04:20They test your big five
00:04:21Your conscientiousness, your stability, your openness
00:04:23Your agreeableness, your extroversion
00:04:30Brian's always in trouble
00:04:31He thinks his new girlfriend of two months is pregnant
00:04:33What would Brian do without your advice?
00:04:35I am his best friend
00:04:36It seems like you're his only friend
00:04:37It's kind of my duty to be there for him
00:04:39He's going through a tough time
00:04:41Hello
00:04:43Well, you're a good guy, Kevin
00:04:45You know, if you shut off your cell phone
00:04:47We could save 60 a month
00:04:48Never
00:04:49I'm a mover
00:04:50I'm my last link to my old life
00:04:51When I was a mover and shaker
00:04:52Oh, old habits die hard
00:04:59So what's for dinner?
00:05:04Boston baked beans
00:05:07Oh, good
00:05:08I like beans
00:05:09Not the more nutritious than beans
00:05:10They're loaded with protein
00:05:13Oh, I have a surprise
00:05:14Do we win a lotto?
00:05:15Jackpot's up to 62.5 million
00:05:17No, close
00:05:18I just got my last unemployment check
00:05:20Oh, good
00:05:21Time to cut loose and celebrate
00:05:23No, it's time to make the money last
00:05:25There's always food stamps
00:05:27Or the place we donated the turkey
00:05:28The food bank
00:05:29Yeah
00:05:31Or maybe we'll get jobs
00:05:32I sent my resume to over 100 companies
00:05:34Something's got to give
00:05:35Maybe we should just go to the store
00:05:37No, it's order takeout
00:05:38No, no
00:05:39We can't
00:05:40Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza
00:05:41Kevin, that's like over $20 plus a tip
00:05:43No
00:05:43We can just get cheese
00:05:44I can live without toppings
00:05:46Without pepperoni
00:05:46Not mushrooms
00:05:48Mushrooms are a line in the sand
00:05:49That's non-negotiable
00:05:50Kevin, we only have $591.62
00:05:52To last us an infinite amount of time
00:05:54We're not getting takeout
00:05:56We're not going out to eat
00:06:00Oh, and there was a 50 cent off pack of
00:06:0212 pack of tuna
00:06:04Done
00:06:05I swore in college I would never eat ramen again
00:06:08I worked hard enough, I'd eat the good stuff
00:06:10Is there a reason why you torture us?
00:06:12How's that?
00:06:13You go on and on about how things used to be
00:06:16It's getting old
00:06:17I'm sorry, I'm remembering a better period in our lives
00:06:20Oh, you're complaining
00:06:21You know what you call complaining is my way of remembering
00:06:25Better times
00:06:25Yeah, I'm not having this conversation again
00:06:30Oh, Brian again
00:06:32What would he do without your brotherly advice?
00:06:35I have no idea
00:06:42Hey, remember our old market where we used to provide choice of cheeses?
00:06:49Like goat
00:06:50And not just goat, Kimber, Rockford
00:06:53And you could choose what country it came from
00:06:55And then the region from that country
00:06:57You're done?
00:06:58Sorry, I won't reminisce anymore
00:07:00I'm bad
00:07:01Hi, mom
00:07:02Hi, dear
00:07:03How are the two of you doing?
00:07:04Doing okay
00:07:05How's Kevin's job hunt progressing?
00:07:07I don't know
00:07:07Let me ask him
00:07:08My mom wants to know how the job hunt's coming
00:07:11Tell him
00:07:11I hope he hasn't given up
00:07:13Tell him
00:07:14Winners win
00:07:15My mom says, don't give up
00:07:16Winners win
00:07:17I bet she does
00:07:18I love you, mom
00:07:19Is he looking?
00:07:20Yeah, mom
00:07:21He's looking everyday
00:07:22We both are
00:07:24It's just hard
00:07:25No one's hiring right now
00:07:26He needs to pound the pavement
00:07:28Mom, he is
00:07:29Are you both coming home for Thanksgiving?
00:07:31Yes, we are coming home for Thanksgiving
00:07:33I just don't see why someone won't hire him
00:07:36He's such a smart boy
00:07:39Such a talented architect
00:07:41Mom, can I call you back?
00:07:43Okay
00:07:46You're silly
00:07:48Isn't that why you married me?
00:07:50Maybe
00:07:51You made a mess
00:07:52I know
00:07:53We better go before they make us pay for it
00:07:55No
00:07:55What is that anyway?
00:07:56It's gelatin
00:07:57It's Mexican gelatin
00:07:58It's...
00:07:59It's jalapeno gelatin with queso
00:08:01What else do we need?
00:08:03I don't know
00:08:03I got the peanut butter
00:08:04And then the beans
00:08:05You ready?
00:08:08Tuna, good call
00:08:09You were so on it
00:08:10Your favorite
00:08:11Cilantro
00:08:17It's like knives
00:08:18I love cilantro
00:08:19I know
00:08:20And it makes me worry about you
00:08:22That maybe you are an android
00:08:25We had tears
00:08:26Like streams they run
00:08:29Don't let sadness
00:08:32Talk in the fun
00:08:34Why can't you
00:08:38Let me go
00:09:06You growing a beard?
00:09:08My new plan is to shave everything
00:09:10in four days, that we can save on razors and shaving cream.
00:09:13Do you know that each of those razors is like $2?
00:09:16I never realized what a ripoff is.
00:09:17Yep.
00:09:19Well, I think it's sexy.
00:09:30Do you still love me?
00:09:32Of course I do.
00:09:35Then say it.
00:09:38I don't have to say it.
00:09:39I've never said it.
00:09:43Would I still be with you if I didn't love you?
00:09:45What choice would you have?
00:09:47I could move out.
00:09:48And go where?
00:09:51I don't know, the car?
00:09:53That's my point.
00:09:56I feel like we're together because we have to be together,
00:09:58not because we want to be together.
00:10:00Hey, even when we had everything, I was still with you.
00:10:04Then say it.
00:10:07Look, you know, I don't say it, I just show it.
00:10:10My mother always told my father she loved him,
00:10:13and then they got divorced,
00:10:14and then he married Marilyn, his trophy wife,
00:10:16and it didn't matter they said it.
00:10:19Well, if it means absolutely nothing, then just say it.
00:10:21Why are we having this conversation now?
00:10:23We're married.
00:10:24Because it's important now, okay?
00:10:26I just need it.
00:10:31I love you, all right?
00:10:34Yeah.
00:10:39Yeah.
00:10:51Amazing how that guy can interrupt every moment we have.
00:10:54It's like he has relationship sabotage.
00:11:00You know what?
00:11:00It's a nice day.
00:11:01I'm going to walk home.
00:11:12Are you mad at me?
00:11:14No, I'm not mad, just sad, I guess.
00:11:18Don't you think I'm sad, too?
00:11:21Not for the same reasons.
00:11:27I miss driving our car.
00:11:30I thought we weren't allowed to get nostalgic.
00:11:31I think it says back.
00:11:33I'm allowed to be a little misty once in a while.
00:11:39I kind of like it.
00:11:41I mean, when we used to drive everywhere,
00:11:43we never got to see anything.
00:11:44It really opens your eyes, though.
00:11:46Yeah.
00:11:46I don't know if I want to see everything.
00:11:49I like living my own ignorant little world.
00:12:03I'm excited for sandwiches.
00:12:05Give me the keys.
00:12:14You always were a terrific chef.
00:12:16No, you're sweet.
00:12:18And a bad liar.
00:12:22Huh?
00:12:23I thought we were saving that for a special occasion.
00:12:25Well, we were.
00:12:27We might be waiting a long time, so.
00:12:31What are we toasting to?
00:12:34I don't know.
00:12:38Let's try something.
00:12:40During this entire meal, no one can say anything negative.
00:12:43This is going to be a happy, pleasant meal.
00:12:46Done.
00:12:46And if whoever talks negatively loses
00:12:50and has the dishes for a week.
00:12:52What do I make it? Two weeks?
00:12:53Mm.
00:12:54Three weeks.
00:12:55A month.
00:12:56Till spring.
00:12:57Works for me.
00:13:01You know, Kevin, I was thinking, this meal out would have cost us $32 at least.
00:13:05Mm.
00:13:06Not to mention the drinks, which would have been at least $10.
00:13:08Yeah, so that's like $42 with tax and tip, maybe even $45.
00:13:12And for what?
00:13:14Bread that costs $0.10 a slice, I mean, an $0.89 can of tuna, $0.02 worth of mayo,
00:13:20that's like $0.50 a sandwich.
00:13:22That's over a $32 savings.
00:13:25And I love tuna.
00:13:26Mm-hmm.
00:13:27Add a little mayo, relish, celery, it's a foodie's paradise.
00:13:30I mean, where would we be without peanut butter and tuna fish?
00:13:34Empires were built on these stables.
00:13:36You lose.
00:13:37You lose.
00:13:37How's that?
00:13:38You were complaining.
00:13:39Mm-hmm.
00:13:40Oh, I would like to appeal this ruling.
00:13:42Do you like sex?
00:13:44Oh, that's not fair.
00:13:46You can't use sex as a bargaining chip.
00:13:48Oh?
00:13:49Okay, maybe you can, but that's just not fair.
00:13:52Mm.
00:13:53Okay.
00:13:55Maybe I'll consider reducing your sentence to one week if you work for it.
00:14:02Tell me you love me.
00:14:05Oh, we're back on that again.
00:14:07What if we're not on it?
00:14:10Well, then I only have one question for you.
00:14:12Which type of dishwashing soap do you prefer?
00:14:15Make sure you wash those really good.
00:14:17Put some grease in some of those.
00:14:23Oh.
00:14:28Is it Brian?
00:14:29Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:14:30I can take support.
00:14:31Come on.
00:14:31You are a trunk maker.
00:14:35Looks like he's off the hook.
00:14:36Hillary doesn't have a bun in the oven.
00:14:37She dumped him.
00:14:38Great.
00:14:39I'm so happy for him.
00:14:42I won two tickets to Paris.
00:14:44You mean virtual tickets?
00:14:47My sorority nominated me to go, and I got a new pet.
00:14:50Her name is Tattles.
00:14:52She's coming with me.
00:14:53Hmm.
00:14:54Is this your way of saying you want a cat?
00:14:56Oh, I'm going to the south of France with my new boyfriend, Henri.
00:15:01Can I come too?
00:15:02Yeah.
00:15:03Dumb question, Jen.
00:15:04What joy do you get in going to places that aren't real?
00:15:08The south of France is very real.
00:15:10Not to us.
00:15:13Not having this conversation.
00:15:16You never want to talk about it.
00:15:20Talk about what exactly?
00:15:22Our situation.
00:15:23Look, I was just reading in psychology.com, if you talk about your problems and get them
00:15:27out in the open, you're more apt to be a happier, healthier person than holding it inside.
00:15:33And that it's important for couples to have tough conversations, even if it causes friction
00:15:38between those you love.
00:15:39Do you really believe any of that BS?
00:15:42I mean, the individual who wrote that is obviously under some deadline to generate content,
00:15:46so he doesn't lose his job and the life he worked so hard for and end up like us.
00:15:51Well, that's exactly my point.
00:15:53We're holding on to all this anger and it's making us depressed.
00:15:56Holding things inside is not what's making me depressed.
00:16:01It's living like this that's making me depressed.
00:16:05It's...
00:16:05Well, we lost our house and we can't even get jobs.
00:16:09And I don't even think we could get arrested if we wanted to.
00:16:11Oh, I could get arrested. That wouldn't be tough.
00:16:13See what I'm saying?
00:16:14You said you wanted to have a serious conversation and you're just making jokes.
00:16:17Well, what am I supposed to do?
00:16:19Talk about it.
00:16:20Maybe making jokes is my way of venting.
00:16:22I think if I were to admit that our lives are going downhill, I wouldn't be able to cope.
00:16:27And now you're being defensive.
00:16:28I'm not being defensive.
00:16:29And I do want to talk about it.
00:16:32No, you don't want to talk about it because if you did want to talk about it, we'd talk about
00:16:36it.
00:16:38Okay, so talk about it. Now.
00:16:41I can't just do it on command.
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:47Where are you going?
00:16:49Out.
00:16:51Okay, where is out exactly?
00:16:55Jen.
00:16:56You're really going?
00:16:57You can do it today, if not for what you can.
00:17:01It's the men.
00:17:08Boy?
00:17:09I know.
00:17:15I understand.
00:17:16You can't stand that, baby.
00:17:17But now you're in my bed.
00:17:17Oh four years me.
00:17:39You're not going to jump, are you?
00:17:44I miss all the fun we've been having.
00:17:49I was thinking about it.
00:17:54Can we go together?
00:17:56Like a suicide pact?
00:17:59Well, I wouldn't want to live without you.
00:18:03You'd get over me.
00:18:05Wanna bet?
00:18:10Guess there's only one way to find out.
00:18:15I think we'd die on impact or in the air.
00:18:17Or not high enough to die midair.
00:18:19It would be on the splat.
00:18:21The splat?
00:18:22Yeah, when we hit the concrete.
00:18:24Is that like an official term?
00:18:26No, I made it up.
00:18:31That would be gross.
00:18:34Yeah, bloody.
00:18:36Body parts.
00:18:39Everywhere.
00:18:41Besides, I want an open casket.
00:18:43If we end up, we're going to have to do it some other way.
00:18:46Sleeping pills.
00:18:48Not effective.
00:18:49You always hear about people ending up in comas.
00:18:53Gunshot to the temple.
00:18:55To the temple or the mouth?
00:18:58Because you might survive and then you're just a glorified vegetable.
00:19:14I want chips and salsa.
00:19:19That we can manage.
00:19:26What would happen if you lived and I died?
00:19:29Or the other way around.
00:19:32If we go, we should make sure to go together.
00:19:36Deal.
00:19:40$3,000.
00:19:42$3,000.
00:19:50$6,000.
00:19:51$3,000.
00:19:51$4,000.
00:19:56$7,000.
00:20:00$6,000.
00:21:22Hey.
00:21:22Hey.
00:21:25I think I figured it out.
00:21:26Yeah?
00:21:27Yeah.
00:21:28Remember that trip you wanted to take to Paris?
00:21:30Uh-huh.
00:21:31We take it.
00:21:34We're going to do everything that we wanted to do.
00:21:36We're going to eat when we want to eat.
00:21:37We're going to do what we want to do.
00:21:38Live high on the hog, no holds barred.
00:21:41Sounds great.
00:21:42Will we win the lottery?
00:21:43Not exactly.
00:21:45Okay, listen.
00:21:46We have $29,000 left on our cards.
00:21:50We're going to spend it.
00:21:52We're going to do all the things we want to do.
00:21:54Live the life we were supposed to live before this crap happened to us and we ended up here.
00:21:58We're just going to enjoy ourselves.
00:21:59Okay, I thought that we were saving the credit though for when we actually ran out of money and needed
00:22:04to live.
00:22:05We were.
00:22:07But I made one small adjustment to the model.
00:22:10The original plan would have only delayed the inevitable.
00:22:12I mean those cards would have bought us eight months, ten months tops.
00:22:15And I'm being generous.
00:22:15I won't argue with you.
00:22:17You're our financial guru.
00:22:19So how do you pay it back?
00:22:21We don't.
00:22:23I'm confused.
00:22:25We're not going to pay it back because we don't have to.
00:22:28I'm missing something.
00:22:29It's not like they're going to give us free money.
00:22:32Actually, they kind of are.
00:22:34Just hear me out, okay?
00:22:35Yeah.
00:22:36Do you like your life the way it is now?
00:22:38No, but...
00:22:39Do you think it's going to get better?
00:22:40I don't know. It could.
00:22:42It won't.
00:22:42I ran the numbers, okay?
00:22:44We're not going to be out of debt until we're like over 55.
00:22:46And that's if we can find work.
00:22:47And that's the best case scenario.
00:22:49Don't ask me about the worst.
00:23:11There's no emotion in this, Kevin.
00:23:14It's all facts.
00:23:16This could be the only chance we have at the life we wanted for ourselves.
00:23:20Are you serious?
00:23:22Yes, I'm serious.
00:23:24I've never been more serious in my life.
00:23:26This is crazy.
00:23:28What's crazier?
00:23:30Living a wonderful six months with the person you love?
00:23:33Or living a lifetime of toil and fear and...
00:23:39I know what I'm going for.
00:23:41Maybe we should think about this a little bit more?
00:23:44I don't need to think about it anymore.
00:23:46I've been thinking about it for months.
00:23:50So you're just going to go ahead and do it, whether I'm in or not?
00:23:54I'm just telling you what I want for myself.
00:23:57Maybe you should go see a therapist.
00:24:00I don't need a therapist, Kevin.
00:24:03A therapist isn't going to help our financial situation.
00:24:06And it's easy for the doctor to say,
00:24:08Do be content because he is going to go home
00:24:10to his beautiful suburban home with his white picket fence,
00:24:12which our health insurance helps pay for, by the way.
00:24:15And that's up at the end of the month.
00:24:18So that's great.
00:24:21I just think there has to be a better way.
00:24:24You know, I'm miserable too.
00:24:26I hate what we're experiencing, but I just...
00:24:28I think there has to be some hope.
00:24:33Hope is just a word that people use
00:24:35so they don't have to deal with the cold, hard facts of the situation.
00:24:40Kevin, I...
00:24:44It's a logical decision.
00:24:46I can't, Jennifer.
00:24:50Fine.
00:24:51Great.
00:24:52Then I'll leave you with half the credit cards, okay?
00:24:55You'll have a little less than four months left.
00:24:57Now where are you going?
00:24:58Kevin, out!
00:24:59Kevin, out!
00:25:40How'd I know I could find you here?
00:25:43I splurged.
00:25:45Caramel macchiato, 375.
00:25:49Sometimes you gotta live.
00:25:57Can we go to Vegas?
00:26:00We always had a blast there.
00:26:04Does this mean you want to end it with me?
00:26:08I don't know.
00:26:12What don't you know?
00:26:14I don't want to live the life that we planned without you.
00:26:19I'd rather have six months with you than spend a lifetime wondering what those last six months would have been
00:26:23like.
00:26:26I love you.
00:26:29Even though we're gonna off each other.
00:26:32That's something that's really weird.
00:26:35How are we gonna do it anyway?
00:26:37Like, who goes first?
00:26:39I don't... we'll figure that out later.
00:26:42Yeah, just a minor detail, huh?
00:26:52So we're gonna keep a video log of what we're planning to do, so our friends and family don't think
00:26:56we decided to do this randomly.
00:26:58I love how you've it all figured out.
00:27:01Just doing what makes sense.
00:27:02It's logical.
00:27:04Funny what seems logical today.
00:27:06Yeah.
00:27:10Come on.
00:27:13Is it on?
00:27:14How do I know?
00:27:15The red light needs to be flashing.
00:27:17And we're recording.
00:27:19Okay.
00:27:20Hi, I'm Jennifer Alpern.
00:27:22And I'm Kevin Alpern.
00:27:24And if you're watching this, then we're not here anymore.
00:27:28That sounds dramatic.
00:27:31Hi, I'm Jennifer, this is Kevin, and we're here to tell you how we spent the last four months of
00:27:36our lives.
00:27:37Uh, you probably already know this, but we both lost our jobs about a year or so ago.
00:27:41Yeah, and things went downhill really fast.
00:27:43But then Jennifer had this brilliant idea.
00:27:45Yeah, if we're going downhill anyway, why not be the masters of our fate and decide when and how we
00:27:50go under.
00:27:51We have about $29,000 left in credit card lines to spend.
00:27:56Spend what we want, when we want.
00:27:57Yeah, do all the things we wanted to do, but now, given the circumstances, won't get a chance to.
00:28:02So, here we are kind of documenting our adventures for you.
00:28:06You have anything else to say?
00:28:07No.
00:28:09Um, I do miss everyone.
00:28:12Just know that we had a really great time these last few months.
00:28:14Yeah.
00:28:15Oh, and I love you, sis.
00:28:19I know we haven't talked in a while, but I just want you to know I thought about you every
00:28:23day.
00:28:27We should probably shut it off now.
00:28:40So, now that we are free, we should have to figure out what to do.
00:28:45Uh-huh.
00:28:47South of France.
00:28:48Yes.
00:28:49You just want to see the topless beaches again.
00:28:51No, I appreciate French art.
00:28:53Uh-huh, right.
00:28:55Your turn then.
00:28:57Africa.
00:28:58I've always wanted to see the line on its natural island.
00:29:00Yeah, you have big bugs there.
00:29:01That's not high on my list.
00:29:02Come on.
00:29:04Horse-drawn carriage ride through New York City?
00:29:06That's touristy.
00:29:07Oh, and going on safari isn't.
00:29:09Come on.
00:29:09African safari qualifies as exotic.
00:29:12Uh-huh.
00:29:12Carriage ride is generic.
00:29:14All right, Mr. Travel Guide.
00:29:16What is the ultimate experience you could think of doing that we haven't thought of yet?
00:29:19I want to stay on the space station.
00:29:21Yeah.
00:29:22It's a little bit out of our budget.
00:29:23A little.
00:29:24Okay.
00:29:26Dodger tickets.
00:29:27Box seats.
00:29:28Yeah.
00:29:29We can do that.
00:29:32Caribbean.
00:29:33British Virgin Islands.
00:29:35I want to walk on the white sand.
00:29:37And I just want to feel the sand in my hands and you and the sun.
00:29:42And just relax.
00:29:46I want to drive fast.
00:29:49Okay.
00:29:50Remember that Formula One racing school we talked about?
00:29:52We can both race Porsches on the track.
00:29:54Yeah.
00:29:54Yeah.
00:29:54I would do that.
00:29:55I would totally do that.
00:29:57I would do that.
00:29:57I thought you were afraid of high speeds.
00:29:58Well, what's the worst that could happen?
00:30:01Okay, fair enough.
00:30:03Maybe we'll make that one of the last things we do.
00:30:05Just in case it doesn't, you know.
00:30:06Right.
00:30:08Go as planned.
00:30:09Yeah.
00:30:11I want to go on a hot air balloon ride.
00:30:13Mmm.
00:30:14And drink really expensive champagne.
00:30:16Like, ridiculously expensive.
00:30:18Sounds fantastic.
00:30:19Yeah.
00:30:20Dangled grapes in each other's mouths.
00:30:23Yeah.
00:30:24Sure.
00:30:25It's an image I've always wanted to make happen.
00:30:28Hmm.
00:30:29We're really gonna do this, you know.
00:30:31I'm ready.
00:30:32Are you?
00:30:33Mm-hmm.
00:31:03Mm-hmm.
00:31:32I feel kind of free.
00:31:33Is that strange?
00:31:35No.
00:31:35No, it's a relief kind of to know we can do whatever we want.
00:31:39You know, play and make up the rules.
00:31:41Who even needs rules.
00:31:42Good point.
00:31:49You get your whole life thinking that you need to work and make a living.
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:54Yeah, and then there's some big payoff at the end.
00:31:57The golden year's retirement just doesn't work like that.
00:32:03What's the one thing you would have done if you didn't think it was a responsible thing to do?
00:32:08It's been so long since I've done anything irresponsible.
00:32:12I don't know.
00:32:13Well, what are you feeling right now?
00:32:17I want to stay in an outrageously expensive hotel on the beach.
00:32:21The kind of place you have to take it alone to pay the bill.
00:32:23Yeah, yeah.
00:32:24The place where they put the little chocolates on the pillows.
00:32:26Mm-hmm.
00:32:26And all the toiletries you could ever need in the bathroom.
00:32:28Yes.
00:32:28The fuzzy bathrooms.
00:32:29And order room service.
00:32:30Everything on the menu.
00:32:31Yes, yes, yes.
00:32:31Even the expensive cheese plate.
00:32:33And the wine that's really expensive but not that good but really expensive.
00:32:35And eat everything in the little fridge.
00:32:37Yes.
00:32:37Yes, and not care how much it costs.
00:32:41I want to see you in that expensive hotel for the next week.
00:32:46Okay.
00:32:59You do know about that.
00:33:00Don't forget to bring your swimming trucks because we need us.
00:33:03Mmm.
00:33:04I'm thinking we'd take that pool naked.
00:33:07I'm sure their curiosity won't go any further than that.
00:33:10Exactly.
00:33:11Why don't we have everything in mind?
00:33:13Oh, I cannot wait to eat at the restaurant there.
00:33:15Are you hungry?
00:33:16Five stars.
00:33:16Pretty hungry.
00:33:17I'll be really hungry by the time we get there.
00:33:19Hey.
00:33:20What?
00:33:20Let's have you wear your A's hat today.
00:33:22I don't like the A's.
00:33:23You do too.
00:33:25I hate the A's.
00:33:26Everyone loves the A's.
00:33:27I really hate them actually.
00:33:28You can wear them.
00:33:29Um, can I please bring my linen pants?
00:33:32You have to bring linen pants.
00:33:33We're pretending it's summer.
00:33:34Oh my gosh.
00:33:35This is going to be awesome.
00:33:36And my white shoes.
00:33:37Your seersucker pants.
00:33:38Buckled shoes.
00:33:39Yeah.
00:33:39I don't know where those are.
00:33:40I think we may have gotten rid of those.
00:33:41I'm kind of ready.
00:33:42I'm in a fruity drink mood.
00:33:43You know?
00:33:44Yeah.
00:33:54You okay?
00:33:55Yeah.
00:33:55You don't need too much for the pool.
00:33:56Let's go.
00:33:57Pool time.
00:33:58Let's do it.
00:33:59A little pool party?
00:34:00Actually, I think it was over there.
00:34:02I'm going to kind of miss it.
00:34:03Even if it's going for a little while.
00:34:05The roaches?
00:34:06The strange clanging noise at two in the morning?
00:34:08Don't forget our landlady, Ms. Volker.
00:34:10She had the demeanor of a prison warden.
00:34:12Yeah, I know.
00:34:15Let's not wait around here.
00:34:17Let's get out of here.
00:34:20I have a five-star restaurant here.
00:34:22Oh, yeah?
00:34:22Yes.
00:34:23Would you like to eat there?
00:34:23I would.
00:34:24All right.
00:34:26Or do you?
00:34:27Immediately?
00:34:28Or do you?
00:34:28We can check in.
00:34:29Can we check in?
00:34:30Yeah.
00:34:36We're home.
00:34:39It's going to be good.
00:34:41Not bad.
00:34:51Cheers.
00:34:51Cheers.
00:34:56Mmm.
00:34:58Mmm.
00:35:02So, Kevin, how are you feeling right now?
00:35:05I like being on vacation.
00:35:08Missing our apartment?
00:35:09Does the dog miss the pound?
00:35:12All right.
00:35:12My turn.
00:35:13Hand it over.
00:35:22I think we made the right decision.
00:35:25Definitely.
00:35:26Most outrageously priced hotel in the city.
00:35:28Where else can you get that $10 bar of chocolate?
00:35:31I meant about us.
00:35:34Definitely.
00:35:35No regrets.
00:35:37I get to spend some quality time with the person I care about the most.
00:35:41And that's more than most people get in their lives, right?
00:35:45We can grow old and miserable, alone probably, because one of us will go first.
00:35:50Penniless.
00:35:51Or we can be in control of how and when it ends.
00:35:56Isn't that what most people want?
00:35:58And what's that?
00:36:00To spend the last moments of your life with the person that you love.
00:36:04Mm-hmm.
00:36:07So, what's next?
00:36:10Sushi.
00:36:11Oh.
00:36:11I want lots and lots of expensive raw fish.
00:36:14Okay.
00:36:15I'm talking about good stuff.
00:36:16None of that bargain sushi.
00:36:17Let's do it.
00:36:18I just want to order everything.
00:36:19Everything.
00:36:20And not even worry about the cost.
00:36:21I want to get some of the ultra overpriced...
00:36:23Toro.
00:36:23Toro.
00:36:24You love that.
00:36:25Okay.
00:36:25Really?
00:36:26Yes.
00:36:27We're playing by our own rules now.
00:36:29So we're really doing this?
00:36:31Yeah.
00:36:32Good.
00:36:34Oh boy.
00:36:35Anything wrong?
00:36:37Well, Brian is...
00:36:39You know what?
00:36:39I don't want to know.
00:36:41Just...
00:36:43Let's just go get some raw fish.
00:36:45Okay?
00:36:45I'm starving, actually.
00:36:47Finish these drinks and go get sushi.
00:36:50Hop in the pool.
00:36:51Okay.
00:36:52You first.
00:36:53Show you my California roll.
00:36:57Let's check out this pool.
00:36:58Here.
00:36:58Give me that.
00:36:59Let me hold your drink.
00:37:03Wait.
00:37:04It looks good, doesn't it?
00:37:05It does.
00:37:10I had to do it.
00:37:11I'm sorry.
00:37:13Is it warm?
00:37:17You coming in?
00:37:18I don't know.
00:37:19I have to test it first.
00:37:20Down here.
00:37:21Touch it, Leigh.
00:37:23Don't.
00:37:24Get away.
00:37:25Get away.
00:37:31It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:32Yeah, it is, actually.
00:37:36It's nice, isn't it?
00:37:55Of course.
00:38:24Ontario.
00:38:25Need to take this out.
00:38:40Mmm, it's been so long since I've had salmon.
00:38:44It's so good.
00:38:46I'm going to save this moment.
00:38:51No, don't.
00:38:56Everyone's going to think I'm a pig.
00:38:57Turn it off.
00:38:58We love to watch you eat.
00:38:59Fight me.
00:39:02So, how was the sushi meal?
00:39:05Good, considering the last six months all we've had is peanut butter and canned tuna.
00:39:11It's amazing.
00:39:16What's wrong?
00:39:18Nothing's wrong.
00:39:19Turn it off.
00:39:19What?
00:39:20Turn it off.
00:39:21What is it?
00:39:24We haven't been this happy in a long time.
00:39:32Remember last time we were at the zigzag counter?
00:39:35Yeah.
00:39:35Celebrating my first commission as an architect?
00:39:38I designed an outdoor playground.
00:39:40Yeah, I remember.
00:39:40You got your promotion after that.
00:39:42And we used the bonus as the money for our down payment on the house?
00:39:45Yeah.
00:39:46We had some great times there.
00:39:50Wasn't this about stuffing ourselves with raw fish?
00:39:53Until we burst?
00:39:54So, let's do that.
00:39:56What else are we getting?
00:39:58Everything.
00:39:59Everything.
00:39:59We're at the beginning.
00:40:01Yes.
00:40:03That was good.
00:40:05Is Brian the only one that texts you?
00:40:07He's the only one of our friends that didn't mind we're in the poorhouse.
00:40:09Well, I guess I give him credit for that.
00:40:13Yeah, we should have done that a long time ago.
00:40:16Those are the best ideas.
00:40:20I think I overdid it, though.
00:40:22That last tuna hand roll put me over the edge.
00:40:24Yeah.
00:40:24That was good, though.
00:40:26I'm losing my physique.
00:40:27You can see the tuna roll.
00:40:29Shut up.
00:40:30I want shoes.
00:40:32Designer shoes.
00:40:34Robertson Boulevard.
00:40:35Robertson Boulevard.
00:40:37Jennifer is en route.
00:40:39I like that coat.
00:40:41They're looking on you.
00:40:42Yeah?
00:40:43Ooh, but I like that one for me.
00:40:45What are we going in there?
00:40:45Want to get a matching coat?
00:40:47No.
00:40:47We should walk the whole thing and come up with a plan.
00:40:51No, I think I'm just going to go in every store.
00:40:54Excellent.
00:40:55Maybe that's the plan.
00:40:56Would you please define Hog Wild for us?
00:40:59Yes.
00:41:00That is when you can go in any store and buy any high-end fashion piece of clothing you want
00:41:04and not care how much it costs.
00:41:06Let's go.
00:41:42What do you think about this one?
00:41:46Yes, very cute.
00:41:47Your rack of shoes on sale, but we don't care about prices, so it doesn't matter.
00:41:55Get rid of it.
00:41:56There you go.
00:41:58Actually, I like these.
00:41:59These are super cute.
00:42:01Those are very young.
00:42:03Yeah, these are fun.
00:42:05Yeah?
00:42:06I don't know, like kind of rockabilly.
00:42:07Would you do that?
00:42:07Totally.
00:42:08See, I think now we're heading in the right direction.
00:42:10You like black.
00:42:11You do.
00:42:12I do.
00:42:15Let's go try these on.
00:42:17Let's go try this one.
00:42:23Yeah, you do.
00:42:24Try it on.
00:42:37It's getting changed.
00:42:38I'm trying out some new clothes.
00:42:41First time in a long time.
00:42:45I'm going to turn it off.
00:42:50I'm going to need to see that.
00:42:56I can't wait to wear these.
00:42:58Yes, let's go put them on.
00:43:01Especially the laundry, right?
00:43:02Mm-hmm.
00:43:03There's a lot of shopping.
00:43:05Mm-hmm.
00:43:08It used to be us.
00:43:10What?
00:43:12Moving at light speed.
00:43:14Aiming for the stars.
00:43:16Brilliant light beckoning us towards a future that was never to be.
00:43:20You're so poetic, Kevin.
00:43:22Oh, my minor was English lit.
00:43:24Oh, I was there when you failed your final in Miss Urban's and my dreams.
00:43:29That's not fair.
00:43:29That is not fair.
00:43:30Professor Ballantine had it out for me from the beginning because she overheard me talking about her nasty divorce.
00:43:35You always did have a way of winning people over.
00:43:38I won you over, didn't I?
00:43:39Barely.
00:43:40I think you had to ask me out, like, over 26 times.
00:43:42You were counting?
00:43:44Most guys would have taken the hint.
00:43:46I was committed.
00:43:47But aren't you happy now?
00:43:50Yeah.
00:43:52I get to spend the rest of my life with a man I adore.
00:43:56And then end it with him.
00:43:58And what could a girl ask for?
00:44:00Mm-hmm.
00:44:06Let me see who it is.
00:44:07Who could it be?
00:44:08Oh, I wish it would not.
00:44:08Let me see.
00:44:09Is it Brian?
00:44:12Sense a little hostility?
00:44:14Okay, I have a deal for you.
00:44:16Today will be a text-free day.
00:44:18Brian will have to go 24 hours without your sage advice.
00:44:20What are you offering in return?
00:44:24I will be the most loving, wonderful wife you've ever known.
00:44:30I think you're getting the better end of the deal.
00:44:46No, I think you are.
00:44:57Okay. What's next?
00:44:59You said you wanted to go to Vegas, right?
00:45:02I guess. Yeah.
00:45:03So let's go?
00:45:04At this moment?
00:45:05Yeah.
00:45:06We can't. We don't have reservations.
00:45:07We just get in the car and go.
00:45:10Shouldn't we pack?
00:45:12No. I just bought some clothes. We can buy clothes there. We just go.
00:45:16I can live with that.
00:45:19When did you get so spontaneous?
00:45:22Maybe I always was, and you just didn't notice.
00:45:24I think in four years of marriage, I might have noticed.
00:45:27Well, that was a before, when I thought we had a future.
00:45:30No, it doesn't really matter. We can just live in the moment.
00:45:35I like this new lifestyle.
00:45:38It's a bummer that it's going to be over so soon.
00:45:42It ends for everyone.
00:45:44Just know now when.
00:45:48So let's go.
00:45:49All right. Let's do it.
00:45:51Vegas.
00:45:52Vegas.
00:46:00In four hours, I'm going to be sitting by a pool and sipping on my tie.
00:46:06This will not do.
00:46:07What?
00:46:08We need an upgrade.
00:46:10We need new wheels.
00:46:33Lie, I'll testify if I can get up walking from my eyes.
00:46:37You can take what you want to believe if you take what I say to the truth.
00:46:46Or frame it to recall is all that we require to frame it all on you.
00:46:52Let's try looking at the bright side and we're going to cross it out to the road.
00:46:59Let's try thinking of the good times and we're going to ride the way of our poppy and swim.
00:47:06You can follow the cross, girl. I will be first and you'll be last, girl.
00:47:12The sun sucks quicker every day. It's such a waste of time.
00:47:18Too bad we didn't get the Lamborghini, huh?
00:47:20Yeah, we're really slowing it now.
00:47:22Yeah, it's okay. I like living out my high school muscle car fantasies.
00:47:26Yeah, just like every other red-blooded American male.
00:47:29Next thing you know, we're going to watch football and eating steak.
00:47:33Absolutely.
00:47:37So, Kevin, what's the first thing you're going to do when you get to the city of Sydney?
00:47:41I think you better turn the camera off for this answer.
00:47:44I'm thinking everyone wants to know.
00:47:46Uh-uh, there's a PG suicide log.
00:47:47I want to know. I think everyone wants to know.
00:47:52I'm going to shoot craps and then move on to roulette.
00:47:57Yeah, right. Come on.
00:47:58Honestly?
00:47:59Mm-hmm.
00:48:00This is kind of embarrassing.
00:48:02Who cares? We're going to be gone.
00:48:04That's true.
00:48:05All right, first we're going to check in.
00:48:08Uh-uh.
00:48:10And then, we're going to go up to the room, open the door, and then I'm going to kiss you
00:48:17passionately.
00:48:18Tell me about the kiss.
00:48:20Passionately.
00:48:21Do we really have to do this?
00:48:22Come on. Yes. Yes.
00:48:25Okay.
00:48:27Then as I throw you on the bed, I'm going to tear the clothes from you.
00:48:32I'm going to start kissing you everywhere.
00:48:36Every inch of you.
00:48:38I'm just going to work my way down every curve and rediscover your womanhood.
00:48:44Every inch.
00:48:45You're bad, Kevin Elfern. Bad boy.
00:49:29Well, you can see right through.
00:49:30Yeah.
00:49:32Remember what happened in this very spot?
00:49:34No.
00:49:35You don't remember?
00:49:38I do.
00:49:39You proposed to me right over there.
00:49:42Actually, I think it was right over there.
00:49:45Did you mean what you said in the car?
00:49:48Mm-hmm.
00:49:57Well, let's not wait around here.
00:49:59I feel like this is our wedding night.
00:50:01I can't wait to see the room.
00:50:03I hope they have a jacuzzi.
00:50:04Vegas!
00:50:07Don't worry.
00:50:09I hope they have a jacuzzi.
00:50:17I don't know better.
00:50:19of
00:50:29are
00:50:30You credious.
00:50:30I don't know.
00:50:31I don't know.
00:50:32Let'll be here.
00:50:35I want to have a free room for you.
00:50:36Go ahead.
00:50:37Okay.
00:51:07Okay.
00:51:45Okay.
00:52:28Let's get your diamonds.
00:52:29Yeah, let's.
00:52:30Real ones.
00:52:30These are not expensive enough.
00:52:32But we could get you a cicada.
00:52:34That'd be gorgeous on you.
00:52:35That's a locust.
00:52:36Right here.
00:52:36Isn't that the same thing?
00:52:37I'm thinking no.
00:52:38I'm thinking let's press onto the more expensive stuff.
00:52:40The more expensive stuff.
00:52:41All right.
00:52:42Yeah, it's just not enough.
00:52:43Let's gamble.
00:52:45Woo!
00:52:46Woo!
00:52:47Come up on the fountain with me.
00:52:49And do what?
00:52:53M'lady.
00:52:55What was it you said?
00:52:56No.
00:52:56No, no.
00:52:57What did you say?
00:52:58You said something.
00:53:01I don't want to ever be with anyone else.
00:53:06What?
00:53:06Let's get married again.
00:53:08What?
00:53:09What did you say?
00:53:10I mean, take vows.
00:53:11Tell each other we're gonna spend the rest of our lives with each other.
00:53:15Yeah.
00:53:15That's what I thought you said.
00:53:16This guy can't even say I love you to me.
00:53:19Nope.
00:53:23Oh.
00:53:24Oh.
00:53:26Kevin.
00:53:27Alfred.
00:53:28Do you love me?
00:53:29You know I do.
00:53:31Then say those three little words.
00:53:35I think you already know the answer to that.
00:53:38I think you should say it.
00:53:41I love you.
00:53:42I couldn't hear that one.
00:53:44Say it again.
00:53:46Attention everyone!
00:53:48I love this woman!
00:53:51I love this woman!
00:53:52I love this woman more than any man has ever loved a woman before.
00:53:58Oh my God.
00:53:59Does that work for you?
00:54:01You think that's the wine talking?
00:54:03I kept on my end of the bargain.
00:54:07You're crazy.
00:54:10Will you marry me?
00:54:14Yeah.
00:54:19Good.
00:54:20Let's go.
00:54:21I want to remove your garter belt this time.
00:54:23I didn't get to it at our first wedding.
00:54:25At our first wedding?
00:54:26Yeah.
00:54:31And here you are at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada.
00:54:35Once again in front of the altar of marriage.
00:54:38Kevin, do you take Jennifer once again to be your wedded wife?
00:54:41I do.
00:54:42And do you still promise to love and honor, respect and keep her all the days of your life?
00:54:48I do.
00:54:49Jennifer, do you take Kevin once again to be your wedded husband?
00:54:52I do.
00:54:53And do you still promise to love and honor, respect and keep him all the days of your life?
00:54:58I do.
00:54:59Father God, we thank you for Kevin and Jennifer, for their love for each other, their commitment
00:55:03to each other, and the celebration of four years of holy matrimony together.
00:55:07We ask you to continue to give them courage and strength to live up to the sacred vows that
00:55:12they are taking again here today.
00:55:14As we ask you to bless these people and their exchange, and they continue to rise up to the sacred
00:55:19vows that they are living.
00:55:31There's no peace out there alone in your life, so we worry about moving.
00:55:32The moment of the sacrifice, all the things that I have to do, and that is truly happening.
00:55:32All the happiness in God, the peace and the grace of God, come to me.
00:55:38The peace and the peace of God.
00:55:39The peace and the peace will survive your way to the life in many nations.
00:55:43The peace and the peace of God led the peace and the peace of God.
00:56:21Whoa.
00:56:25Luxury suite, baby.
00:56:29Oh.
00:56:33Happy honeymoon.
00:56:36Oh.
00:56:41Brain hurts.
00:56:43Mm-hmm.
00:56:45Maybe we didn't need that Goldschlager, followed by that Jagermeister.
00:56:51That's a winning combination.
00:56:53For a hangover.
00:56:55Mm-hmm.
00:56:59How'd you end up down there?
00:57:02I think I found your knee in the night.
00:57:07I'd do it again.
00:57:08Mm-hmm.
00:57:15Mm-hmm.
00:57:19Mm-hmm.
00:57:24Mm-hmm.
00:57:41Cheers.
00:57:42Mm-hmm.
00:57:46Jane, can we move here forever?
00:57:49Vegas is everything.
00:57:52Good food, good people, good vices.
00:57:57Where else can you get crab legs at two in the morning and then shoot traps until dawn?
00:58:01Nowhere.
00:58:02Your point?
00:58:02My point is that Vegas is paradise and I don't want to leave.
00:58:10Are you serious about going through with it?
00:58:14Yes.
00:58:15Yes.
00:58:15I was.
00:58:17I am.
00:58:18How much longer do we have?
00:58:21I don't know.
00:58:22Give or take a month, depending on how much we have left on our credit cards.
00:58:26How much are we going through?
00:58:28I'd say like six or eight grand.
00:58:30Six or eight grand?
00:58:32Living like rock stars is expensive, Kevin.
00:58:35Yeah, I know, but it's not like we rented jets or threw parties or...
00:58:43Are you having second thoughts?
00:58:46Honestly?
00:58:53No.
00:58:56I mean, kind of.
00:58:57Yeah.
00:58:59It made it sound like a good idea when you came up with it.
00:59:01You think it's going to get better?
00:59:03I don't know.
00:59:04It's not.
00:59:05We've...
00:59:07We've already gone over this.
00:59:15Would you do it without me?
00:59:18No.
00:59:19No.
00:59:21No.
00:59:23We're in this together.
00:59:28And so, Kevin and Jennifer make their way from the city of Osin onto the next leg of their adventure.
00:59:35Where will these wandering souls end up?
00:59:37The next stop of the intrepid adventurers will be...
00:59:41What's next on the list?
00:59:43Uh, I don't know.
00:59:44Let me look.
00:59:45Um, next on the list was African Safari, followed by the trip to the south of France, and then the
00:59:52outback of Australia.
00:59:53I vote outback.
00:59:55No.
00:59:55That would be diverging from the plan.
00:59:57Yeah, but we're not set in stone.
00:59:59We can diverge from the plan.
01:00:00Ah, you know me.
01:00:01Once I make a plan, I like to stick to it.
01:00:02Yeah, you like to stick to it.
01:00:03Yeah.
01:00:04But there's all kinds of crazy diseases we could catch, you know?
01:00:07Like Ebola, where you bleed out all your orifices.
01:00:09No.
01:00:09They have shots for that.
01:00:10No, they don't.
01:00:11It's one of those diseases where there's no cure.
01:00:13Once you get it, you're gone.
01:00:15Oh.
01:00:19Hi, Mom.
01:00:20I'm here.
01:00:21I'm getting your room ready for you.
01:00:22Um, I don't know if we're gonna make it for Thanksgiving anymore.
01:00:25Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
01:00:27We just, we can't afford the plane tickets.
01:00:29Well, we'll miss you both very much.
01:00:32I, I appreciate that.
01:00:33Is it still looking for work?
01:00:35Yes, he's looking.
01:00:36No job leads yet.
01:00:37I told you.
01:00:38I gotta run the plumber and survive.
01:00:39Love you.
01:00:40All right.
01:00:40I love you, too.
01:00:43You actually just lied to your mother.
01:00:45What was I supposed to tell her?
01:00:47That we're planning on often each other and we won't be around come Turkey Day.
01:00:50Yeah, that would've played out well.
01:00:52Oh, come on.
01:00:53Your mom would've taken it in stride.
01:00:55Not funny.
01:01:11Mm.
01:01:25Everything is not funny.
01:01:27No, we didn't have one.
01:01:28Okay.
01:01:29Um.
01:01:31Okay.
01:01:32Oh.
01:01:36Um.
01:01:38Mm.
01:01:40Um.
01:03:00None of the cards are working.
01:03:09You can't cancel those cards.
01:03:11They're our cards.
01:03:11I'm sorry, sir.
01:03:13There's nothing else to do.
01:03:13Well, turn them back on.
01:03:14I can't turn them on, sir.
01:03:15I just can't.
01:03:16What do you mean you can't do that?
01:03:17You can reapply the credit line.
01:03:19No, I'm not going to reapply.
01:03:20Those are our cards.
01:03:21I need those cards.
01:03:22I'm sorry, sir.
01:03:23There's nothing else to do.
01:03:24No, no, I'm sorry.
01:03:25No.
01:03:26You know, you have a nice day.
01:03:27Thank you for being my customer.
01:03:28No, thank you for ruining the rest of what's left of my life.
01:03:34They can't cancel those cards.
01:03:35There are cards.
01:03:38Aren't you the least bit upset?
01:03:42You don't seem like it.
01:03:44How are we supposed to pay for anything?
01:03:46We can't pay for Paris or the Outback or the safari with our good looks alone.
01:03:52Maybe you could because you're so pretty.
01:03:54As pretty as Beth.
01:03:56What?
01:04:04What are we going to do?
01:04:05No, Kevin, the question is what are you going to do about Beth having your baby?
01:04:11What are you talking about?
01:04:12Who's Beth?
01:04:13Because you got a text message from her while you were pumping gas, and she mentioned how nicely she's coming
01:04:17along and that you'd be a daddy soon.
01:04:19And I didn't think you wanted to have kids, Kevin, or was that just not with me?
01:04:23Is that it?
01:04:26No.
01:04:29When were you going to tell me you were going to be a father, huh?
01:04:33We could have thrown a party.
01:04:35It takes time to plan a baby shower, Kevin.
01:04:37You've got to have some consideration for the family flying in from out of town.
01:04:40But then again, Kevin, consideration was never one of your strong suits, was it?
01:04:46Or you could have had the party local for her.
01:04:48Her family wouldn't have to fly anywhere.
01:04:50Where is she from?
01:04:52See, area code 609, serving all of greater Silicon Valley.
01:04:56What are you doing hooking up with a girl so far away, Kevin?
01:05:00Wouldn't you want someone closer for easier access?
01:05:05I know.
01:05:07When you were working on that condo development, your credit card bill seemed a little high.
01:05:13You know, if you're ever going to cheat on anyone again, Kevin, you should consider using cash for your extramarital
01:05:18affairs.
01:05:19That or marry a really stupid girl.
01:05:23You know, I read all of the texts, Kevin.
01:05:25I especially like the one about your love muscle, or how you want to take her doggy style, or how
01:05:32you want to have a threesome with her.
01:05:34Which you said, of course, that you didn't want to do with anyone.
01:05:37So were you lying to me, or to her, or to all of us?
01:05:39Huh?
01:05:42God, are you even capable of being committed to one person, Kevin?
01:05:51Turn that off.
01:05:52Why, Kevin?
01:05:53Turn that off!
01:05:54Why should I?
01:05:54See, I can raise my voice too, Kevin.
01:05:56Does that help us?
01:05:57Turn it off!
01:06:00You know what?
01:06:00And to answer your question about earlier, about what are we going to do, it's not about we anymore, because
01:06:05we are getting divorced.
01:06:06Fine.
01:06:07Fine.
01:06:08Yeah, it's fine that you just act like a complete douchebag and break apart.
01:06:22Let's just go.
01:06:23Drive.
01:06:51How could you do this?
01:06:54You want to know how I could do it?
01:06:56Because I never loved you, Jennifer.
01:06:58Because how could I want to be with someone who was always needling me about everything?
01:07:02Everything had to be so planned out.
01:07:04Everything was a number.
01:07:05You know?
01:07:06There was a plan we couldn't diverge from.
01:07:09You know, there was never any spontaneity.
01:07:12You slept with someone else because I wasn't spontaneous?
01:07:16I made a mistake, all right?
01:07:19You call getting your girlfriend pregnant a mistake?
01:07:21She's not my girlfriend.
01:07:29Pull over.
01:07:31What?
01:07:32Pull over!
01:07:56Jeff, what are you doing?
01:07:57Go away, Kevin.
01:07:58You can't just walk away.
01:07:59I can do whatever I want, just like you can.
01:08:02You'll die out here.
01:08:02Good.
01:08:03Wasn't that the plan anyway?
01:08:06I'm sorry about what I said.
01:08:09Sorry about what you said or sorry about what you did?
01:08:11Both.
01:08:13What were you thinking?
01:08:18I screwed up.
01:08:19I'm sorry.
01:08:21I want a divorce.
01:08:25You're going to throw our marriage over this?
01:08:27You already did.
01:08:32Who is she?
01:08:33She's just someone I met.
01:08:36Great.
01:08:36You're having a baby with someone you don't even know?
01:08:38Are you out of your mind?
01:08:40I screwed up.
01:08:40I'm sorry.
01:08:42Me too.
01:08:44Look, it was nothing.
01:08:45It was just one time.
01:08:46It wasn't even serious.
01:08:47Great.
01:08:48Awesome.
01:08:48So obviously you're not even serious about us.
01:08:53Can we just get back in the car?
01:08:55It's freezing right here.
01:08:56Good.
01:08:57I hope you freeze to death.
01:09:04Just take me home.
01:09:23Look, I know this may not be the best time to talk about this, but what are we going to
01:09:26do with whatever new we spent?
01:09:28I'll pay it back.
01:09:29How?
01:09:31I don't know, Kevin, but I'm not going to end my life with someone who obviously didn't want to spend
01:09:36it with me.
01:09:40I do love you, Jennifer.
01:09:43Yeah, you have some twisted idea of love.
01:09:47If I didn't love you, would I want to end my life with you?
01:09:50You weren't going to do it out of love for me.
01:09:53We were both miserable.
01:09:54I was only going to go through with it because of you.
01:09:55Don't give me that.
01:09:56You're just as miserable as me.
01:09:58You were just looking for a way out and I gave it to you.
01:10:00We agreed we were going to do it together.
01:10:02Yeah, well, that was before all this.
01:10:04You're going to do it alone?
01:10:07Don't worry about it, Kevin.
01:10:09What about our plans?
01:10:12I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and miserable than end my life with you.
01:10:16But if you want to go ahead and kill yourself, go ahead.
01:10:18I don't care.
01:10:24I will then.
01:10:26Fine.
01:10:28And don't expect me to feel guilty about it because I won't.
01:10:33You want to know how I'm going to do it?
01:10:34No, I don't care.
01:10:36Oh, you don't care at all how I'm going to...
01:10:37And when we get back, I'm moving out.
01:10:40I'll get my stuff later.
01:10:42Where are you going?
01:10:44That's really none of your business, is it?
01:10:49Jen, I really think you're taking this too far.
01:10:52Just don't talk to me for the duration of this trip.
01:11:20Jennifer, wait, wait.
01:11:22Just hear me out.
01:11:25Please reconsider.
01:11:26I have to go.
01:11:26Let's talk about this.
01:11:28I know what I did was really stupid, but then it was never meant to be more than just a...
01:11:31Just a fling?
01:11:33I know I sound pathetic and you hate me now, but...
01:11:36Yeah, you got that right on both counts.
01:11:38Probably the smartest thing you've said all day.
01:11:44Goodbye, Kevin.
01:11:49Goodbye, Kevin.
01:12:13Goodbye, Kevin.
01:12:18Goodbye, Kevin.
01:12:27Goodbye, Kevin.
01:12:45I don't know.
01:13:11I don't know.
01:13:43I don't know.
01:14:30I don't know.
01:14:33I don't know.
01:14:34Hey, Jennifer, it's Kevin.
01:14:37Probably already knew that.
01:14:39Anyway, just give me a call when you get this.
01:14:44It'd be great.
01:14:45Okay, bye.
01:14:50Hey, Jennifer, it's me, Kevin.
01:14:57I haven't heard from you.
01:14:59It's just...
01:15:01Give me a call when you get this.
01:15:03Okay.
01:15:14Hey, Jen, this is Kevin.
01:15:17Sorry to bother you.
01:15:19Some more bills showed up.
01:15:21So I just was thinking that we should talk at some point.
01:15:30Hope you're doing well.
01:15:31Okay, call me back.
01:15:33Bye.
01:15:44Hey, Jen.
01:15:45Hey, Jen.
01:15:48I love you.
01:15:51I miss you.
01:16:08Hi, I'm Kevin Alpern.
01:16:10I royally screwed up.
01:16:13I did some really stupid things.
01:16:17Originally, Jennifer and I were going to end it together, but after careful thought, I decided
01:16:23to go it alone.
01:16:28I don't want to spend the rest of my life without her.
01:16:31I do love her, but that's not the reason I'm doing it.
01:16:35I just have that hunch that things aren't going to get better.
01:16:39I mean, you know my story.
01:16:41Credit card debt up the wazoo, and pretty soon I won't even be living here.
01:16:47This will feel like luxury compared to what's next.
01:16:52I don't even want to think about the future.
01:17:04I had an eviction notice today.
01:17:06They were going to kick me out of here.
01:17:10That's the landlord.
01:17:12I like people who keep their promises.
01:17:27Well, I'm officially homeless now.
01:17:30Everything I own in one suitcase.
01:17:40It's kind of liberating in a way.
01:17:42No bills, no rules to follow, no responsibilities.
01:17:49Yeah, maybe I made some mistakes.
01:17:54Or else I'm very big errors in judgment.
01:18:06It'll be okay.
01:18:11This is my new home.
01:18:14Spacious, huh?
01:18:18I'm going to make the front seat the kitchen,
01:18:20and the back seat's going to be the living room and the bedroom.
01:18:37I miss her.
01:18:40What can I say?
01:18:41Be like, Jessica.
01:18:42아니, no.
01:18:50You're .
01:19:02They're the people who have no.
01:19:09They're the people who have no way.
01:20:12Really?
01:20:14Yeah.
01:20:16I've been meaning to call you.
01:20:19Really?
01:20:20Yeah, about the credit cards.
01:20:22Um, I've been getting a lot of calls about collections.
01:20:26I think we should figure out a way to pay them back.
01:20:29Yeah, we probably should.
01:20:34Yeah.
01:20:35So, how have you been?
01:20:37I've been really good.
01:20:39Yeah?
01:20:40Yeah.
01:20:44I've been miserable.
01:20:46I got evicted from our apartment.
01:20:49I've been living in my car for a while.
01:20:53I'm actually still living in my car.
01:20:57Uh, I applied for a couple of architecture positions.
01:21:01No calls back yet, but...
01:21:05I'm really sorry, Kevin.
01:21:08Oh, don't be.
01:21:11Something to be said for downward mobility.
01:21:13You know?
01:21:14There's a freedom in it.
01:21:18How about you?
01:21:20Um, I got hired by a new financial planning firm.
01:21:25I had to take a pay cut, but I'm not complaining.
01:21:29That's great.
01:21:30Good.
01:21:31You deserve it.
01:21:32Congratulations.
01:21:33Yeah.
01:21:35I guess I should thank you for being a total jerk-off.
01:21:38I guess, you know, if I go along with the plan...
01:21:42I don't know.
01:21:44Hmm.
01:21:51Are you seeing anyone?
01:21:53Why do you care?
01:21:55Just wondering.
01:21:58No.
01:21:59Not that it's any of your business.
01:22:00We're separated.
01:22:02Right.
01:22:03You're totally right.
01:22:04Uh, none of my business.
01:22:08Guess you're not planning on killing yourself now, huh?
01:22:11No.
01:22:12No.
01:22:13I don't know what I was thinking with that.
01:22:16I...
01:22:17I have my whole life to pay off those debts, so...
01:22:20Just figure it out.
01:22:22Move on.
01:22:26We...
01:22:26We did have a good time.
01:22:31We did.
01:22:39Well, it was really good seeing you.
01:22:42You too.
01:22:49Jennifer.
01:22:52If there was someone I'd want to kill myself with, it would be you.
01:22:55Because I don't think I want to live my life without you.
01:22:59When you first came up with this crazy plan, I went along with it because I didn't think we would
01:23:03go through with it, but...
01:23:04This time of part has reminded me why I fell in love with you.
01:23:08Why I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:23:12If you can find any way to forgive me, I will do anything in my power to make it up
01:23:16to you.
01:23:18I love you so much, Jennifer.
01:23:20I love you too, Kevin.
01:23:31I'd like to say that's what I said to her.
01:23:34But I didn't.
01:23:36Good luck with your new position.
01:23:38Hey, things will get better.
01:23:40Keep your head up.
01:23:41I love you so much.
01:23:55I love you.
01:23:59I love you.
01:24:09I love you, Kevin.
01:24:19Jennifer moved on with her life.
01:24:22You know, workaholic that she is.
01:24:24She rose at her job and fell in love with someone that deserved her.
01:24:33As for me, I stuck to the plan.
01:24:52See how the moon looks good on you.
01:25:01See how the light is a common blue.
01:25:08And all I feel is so much faith from learning how to survive.
01:25:17And all I got is one more chance.
01:25:21I hope it doesn't die.
01:25:24We were colored blue.
01:25:29All on me.
01:25:33All on you.
01:25:35Colored blue.
01:25:38Fall on me.
01:25:41Fall into you.
01:26:01See how the air is white and cold.
01:26:08The lines on her face mean she's getting old.
01:26:16And all I feel is so much hope from learning how to survive.
01:26:25And all I got is one last dance.
01:26:30I hope it ends tonight.
01:26:36The color blue.
01:26:40The color blue.
01:26:41All on me.
01:26:58I'm never on time
01:27:01I'm never too late
01:27:06I'm never too shy
01:27:10I'm never too safe
01:27:14But nothing is real
01:27:18Our love is not fake
01:27:22Always a big deal
01:27:25So give me a break
01:27:34Like a runaway train to the other side
01:27:42Just trying to get a little sunshine
01:27:50Like a runaway train to the other side
01:27:58Just trying to get a little sunshine
01:28:01Just trying to get a little sunshine
01:28:03Just trying to get a little sunshine
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