- 8 hours ago
SEX EDUCATION BY MY BEST FRIEND - Full EP βππ
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:20You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe
00:00:32What are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:53Okay.
00:00:58Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, Skyliger Queen.
00:01:04Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of Castle Claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:16but on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:49God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my god, he's cold!
00:02:08He's so hot.
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:16Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I'll see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What are you with me, son?
00:02:23What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:35Yeah, I break a lot of hours by a cop.
00:02:37Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:41I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:44You were a...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:53Alright.
00:02:54I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:59You got my attention.
00:03:02So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:11Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:22Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:26My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:41I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:51I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Yeah, Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:58Yeah, idiot.
00:03:59I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:24But he's not your Cole.
00:04:25Shut up, Lindsey.
00:04:27He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:31Hi.
00:04:32I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsey.
00:04:35Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39That's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:45Come in.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:47Let's go.
00:04:51There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:10Aw, you're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:25Guacamole wizard. Wow. What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Give it back. Hold on. Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83
00:05:37right now. Send. Here. Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt? I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me. Oh, is it the online level? Chill, please. No way. What is it?
00:05:59Oh, the family queen goes to the school. Please ignore that. Someone stole my phone
00:06:09and played a stupid prank. Send. What is wrong with you? You mess with Cole Edmunds,
00:06:18and you're going to mess with me. Edmunds? What? You don't know that his family owns the
00:06:22whole school? Wow. You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you? Stop recording me.
00:06:31Jen is a new girl. Wait. Is the new girl Valley Queen? There's no way the new girl is Valley
00:06:40Queen. Could it be Jen? Ew. Your enemy is our enemy Cole, and I just made sure that the new
00:06:51girl
00:06:52knows that. No chances, Jen. So is it. She does look kind of cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that. Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank. What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover. Hey there, buttercup. Keep walking, Hayley. Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or? My name's Hayley. Wow, Hayley. I think
00:07:28you, uh, you missed the spell on your upper lip right there. What a coincidence. So did you.
00:07:37Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you don't even need shaving cream. You're just a man-child.
00:07:45It was all about follicle issues. Whoever ends up with her, must have feeling an eye exam.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened and I lost the game.
00:08:08I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is I want to be with you,
00:08:19and you want to be with me as more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29I like you so much.
00:08:31Okay, well, since we're dating now,
00:08:34I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:37Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:46Okay.
00:08:47No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:03This lighting hates me.
00:09:05Come on, Hayley.
00:09:06Confidence.
00:09:07You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:14Okay.
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:17Oh my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:25Anyone?
00:09:27Don't look at me!
00:09:31Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:35Get out!
00:09:36Now!
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:39Out!
00:09:40Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:09:46Oh my God.
00:09:49It's good.
00:09:55I don't know.
00:09:57But...
00:10:02Well...
00:10:09Like...
00:10:10Oh, you're right.
00:10:11Okay, so...
00:10:11I don't know.
00:10:11It's not great.
00:10:13Oh, man.
00:10:13You're right.
00:10:13Look at me.
00:10:13In the back.
00:10:13I'm not sure.
00:10:14I know.
00:10:14What's that?
00:10:18You're helping me.
00:10:19Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:31I love a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if he saw you were flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:39Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:40I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:41My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go her separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, and, um...
00:10:54Well, the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way.
00:10:58I mean, not even my type, but, you know, power theory, or whatever.
00:11:02Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:17Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:25Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:32Here goes nothing.
00:11:41Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:50You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:06What are you doing?
00:12:14Oh, my God.
00:12:18Oh, my God.
00:12:20Oh, my God.
00:12:24How are you doing?
00:12:26Let's go.
00:12:29Oh, shit.
00:12:31Oh.
00:12:33Yo, what's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemy's new just got put up on the big street.
00:12:36What?
00:12:36Yeah.
00:12:51Come on.
00:12:52Let's see if these goods are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop.
00:12:58Delete it.
00:12:58Please.
00:12:58Delete it.
00:12:59Finish.
00:12:59Finish.
00:13:00Finish.
00:13:02Finish.
00:13:03Finish.
00:13:04Finish.
00:13:05Finish.
00:13:06Finish.
00:13:06Finish.
00:13:06Finish.
00:13:06Finish.
00:13:07Finish.
00:13:08Finish.
00:13:10Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:18Oh, my God.
00:13:20Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:23Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:30Jen, no.
00:13:31Jen, no.
00:13:32No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:33Jen, stop.
00:13:33Ven.
00:13:35Ven.
00:13:35Ven.
00:13:36Ven.
00:13:37Ven.
00:13:37Ven.
00:13:38Ven.
00:13:39Ven.
00:13:40Ven.
00:13:40Ven.
00:13:41Ven.μ.
00:13:41Ven.
00:13:41I'm
00:13:41going to lose my phone. I want
00:13:53to run this girl. Oh,
00:13:55no. I want
00:13:58Stop it!
00:14:00Oh my god!
00:14:10You okay?
00:14:13Give that to me.
00:14:21Now give the phone back, Jen.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:32Not good, huh?
00:14:34Now if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:42She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46Everyone's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:55Here we are.
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:02Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:20Love you, Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56Up there, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11I'm really proud of you.
00:16:14And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:19It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:24Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:28Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:43When? With?
00:16:44Well, after school.
00:16:45At the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring flowers.
00:16:47Deal.
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Call me father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:24Haley girl.
00:17:25He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:46Stay away from Haley Cole.
00:17:49Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:56Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:02safe.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:16I'm Haley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:18Mm-hmm.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:22I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:38Ew.
00:18:41Ew.
00:18:42Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45Are you waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:48Pathetic.
00:18:48Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:52And maybe he's sitting on a side video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:58Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh, no.
00:19:01We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch, and so we thought we would bring you
00:19:06a sandwich.
00:19:14Eat it.
00:19:22Call me.
00:19:24So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter, so you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:32Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:34Oh, and by the way, Cole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:40Like me.
00:19:44I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:58Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:01Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:06Take out of your phone and record this.
00:20:16Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:18Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:20So tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:22You're gonna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:27What are you doing?
00:20:28I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:32I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:48I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:55uh thank you wow never thought i'd hear you say that
00:21:03why do you keep following me around i just i happen to see you were you waiting on someone
00:21:11yeah my boyfriend actually
00:21:15well he he kind of stood me up so maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:23maybe you gotta do it nice today cole are you being nice to me
00:21:28you thought we were enemies i mean i still find you incredibly annoying though so not that annoying
00:21:35maybe you'll like me once you realize i have layers are you trying to play with my feelings
00:21:39coldness because it's not gonna work i'm like those stupid spoiled heiresses
00:21:49how'd that online board careers make you fall for her
00:21:55he he makes me feel safe you wouldn't understand though
00:22:05you understand better than you think cole understands me better than i think
00:22:11i don't see why you touch him like this
00:22:25if you keep staring i'm gonna think you like what you see no my my boyfriend has way better abs
00:22:33than
00:22:33you do in the game oh in the game huh
00:22:46why does he have to smell so good
00:22:52are you lost a lot of the game too i can see why he likes you
00:23:07i can't do this i love my boyfriend and you will never understand that he's smart and he's kind
00:23:15and he loves me for who i am that is so much more important to me than whatever this is
00:23:22between us
00:23:23i wish i could just tell her right now
00:23:33wait it couldn't be
00:23:36cole what was that notification on your phone
00:23:47what was that notification on your phone it was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed
00:23:53champagne problems huh
00:23:57you live such a tough life
00:24:03what was i thinking we are from two different worlds he just wants to play with me but why did
00:24:09i want to kiss him so badly
00:24:15why didn't you come to school today i got into a car accident really are you okay you have to
00:24:21keep me
00:24:21in the hospital till prom he was right who nobody which hospital are you staying at i want to come
00:24:27visit you no no you cannot i look miserable now you need to see me in style fine if you
00:24:34say so
00:24:36so are we going to prom together oh yeah we are
00:24:44why would anyone want to sit next to her whoever needs a charity case
00:25:07why is she so lucky cole's never been this way with any other girl people think you're really lucky to
00:25:14be my lab partner i'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner because you don't do any
00:25:18homework
00:25:24you finished it it's okay we'll get to know each other more i'm a little bit curious about you
00:25:30actually i'm curious about you though like uh how close are you with your mom what is he trying to
00:25:37do it's none of your business but i'm very close with my mom i'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:57so are you going to prom uh i'm gonna go well i don't know so you have a date or
00:26:04shall i say victim
00:26:05are you jealous of me me jealous no why would i be jealous oh because i think you so secretly
00:26:12want
00:26:12me you are so full of yourself you can do this on your own yeah
00:26:19no way it's a self-locking door really this girl is gonna be back in an hour i'm sure it'll
00:26:25be fine
00:26:26i'm stuck here with you for a full hour okay sorry am i that bad i think maybe we can
00:26:32pick up where we
00:26:33left off don't worry maybe trust me new we're keeping our distance this time actually yeah
00:26:49that was my first kiss
00:26:53my first kiss was not supposed to go like that it was supposed to be special at prom and not
00:26:58just
00:26:58bumping lips
00:27:10you're really good at this one day i want you to regret it you know we can do more if
00:27:17you want
00:27:32you're really good at this one day i've been wanting back a lot more than you think so you want
00:27:36me
00:27:39i think you know much i want you
00:27:45do you want me do you want me oh my god how long have you two been in here i
00:28:04really need to change this
00:28:05walker are you two okay oh yeah yeah we're good we're okay
00:28:18you're just going to pretend like that didn't happen what didn't happen hey wait it's just hormones
00:28:25jake can you still play after your accident relax i'm not dead wait car accident guacamole wizard
00:28:37i gotta go
00:28:46guacamole wizard huh
00:28:50are you all better after your car accident do i know you why is he being so standoffish is he
00:28:56trying
00:28:57to give me a surprise or he heard something about cold you're crushing your soda can
00:29:04she thinks guacamole wizard is jake myers she's in a real car accident according to you so is guacamole
00:29:10guacamole wizard cool wait oh shit what's up guys um we were just chatting chatting about jake's grand
00:29:26plans to kick balls was there something that you wanted cole hey just figured i'd bring you some
00:29:33mozzarella sticks they're your favorite right how did you know that tough day huh there's no more
00:29:42mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria they're my favorite he couldn't be cool could he
00:29:53the truth is um a dickhead
00:29:57what do you honestly get out of your bro you came to my table bro and knocked my ball away
00:30:08there it goes again cole is jealous we got a problem here cole we don't have a problem we don't
00:30:15have a problem right tell cole to get my ball and we don't have a problem jake it would take
00:30:21me
00:30:21forever to find one of your balls i have the ball now can we stop measuring each other's dicks
00:30:30cole and jake are fighting over hayley maybe i can use that
00:30:38jake hey what if i told you that i have an internship opportunity for you with my dad wait
00:30:43seriously yeah just one little catch you have to pretend to like hallie roth
00:30:50all right you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports if you have any questions
00:30:55i'll
00:30:55be at my desk i thought guacamole wizard would feel more like cole but if he's really jake then maybe
00:31:03this was always going to end you've literally been started for five minutes i'm thinking about the report
00:31:08or about him why are you making it so weird about jake we literally made out of a sword room
00:31:14maybe maybe i've known jake longer no you don't how do you know that you're going to
00:31:19prom with someone else stop acting like you're serious about me you have no idea
00:31:28oh my god is jake asking me to prom
00:31:44hey lee someone's here to see you
00:31:58are you asking me to prom too cheesy no it's cute the accident the mozzarella sticks
00:32:07he is guacamole wizard so um what do you think you want to go to prom with me
00:32:13i i should feel happy but why does this feel so wrong hey can we not
00:32:24hey can we not dude seriously what is your problem my problem here dude is that me and my lab
00:32:30partner
00:32:30have work to do and you're out here to strike me with bad puns wow that is some weak
00:32:36shit man huh that's weak shit is this weak shit oh my god
00:32:51wow he's got really pretty eyes
00:32:59wait i can't cool put me down put me down pull me down
00:33:05don't do that again
00:33:19new couple alert
00:33:21fuck off jen why do you hate me so much gull you and i we're not that different and if
00:33:26you'd realize
00:33:27and give me a chance i think that we would make a great match like say if you asked me
00:33:32to prom i might say yes
00:33:37jen you want to go to prom with me jen you want to go to prom with me we're both
00:33:44hot and we're both rich
00:33:45and our dads have been in business like forever so how romantic i think i'll pass
00:33:53you're gonna regret this call admins
00:34:00if i message corkamoly wizard i wonder if jake's phone will thing
00:34:06what should we wear to prom and the dean's list
00:34:18um i'll talk to you later i'll see your own school okay okay yeah i'll see you later bye
00:34:23he's so different maybe he's still recovering from the accident
00:34:27you don't say we're
00:34:30hayley
00:34:39jeez
00:34:46here i'll get it
00:34:47i know
00:34:53oh you're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone i don't care i do care
00:34:59here we are
00:35:18i mean he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me he doesn't even know you
00:35:22and you do how do you know i like mozzarella sticks that's something i've only ever talked
00:35:27because i pay attention to what you like i noticed it at lunch the first day
00:35:35you were watching me
00:35:38just don't go i promise
00:35:54move
00:35:56colt is talking to hayley again your job is to keep them away from each other jake unless you don't
00:36:02want that internship that my dad got you obviously i do okay then break them up idiot
00:36:07uh what do i do i do i've got a few ideas
00:36:16hey look
00:36:19someone will take you to prom all right i promise yeah really like who i mean the whole school hates
00:36:25me except for jake and you but you're not asking me
00:36:31hey oh hey jake hey how um i just wanted to thank you again for the other night
00:36:40the other night the other night yeah it was so sexy you're so sexy jake what are you talking
00:36:52uh hate to break it to you asshole but she's my prom date
00:37:00and she's a real tiger in the pet room
00:37:02oh
00:37:04oh my god
00:37:23Stop! Guys, stop it! Stop! Stop!
00:37:27What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:31Shit, it's Principal Stevens. I've got to save Cole. I mean, Jake. I've got to save Jake.
00:37:41Oh my god! Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry!
00:37:45Hailey Rock, that's detention. After school, don't be late.
00:38:06Cole, what are you doing here?
00:38:09Can we keep you company?
00:38:11It's the least I could do if you saved my house today.
00:38:15The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:18Oh, sure.
00:38:20So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:25No.
00:38:26He lied about that. I don't know why, though.
00:38:29Good.
00:38:32Father that asshole, every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:36Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:40I could kill him.
00:38:43Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:48Okay, fine. I won't.
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:57Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:08Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:27Oh!
00:39:28Oh!
00:39:28Oh!
00:39:28Oh!
00:39:29Sorry!
00:39:30Hey, Trips!
00:39:31No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:39:32Jet!
00:39:33What?
00:39:34It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:39They're dead.
00:39:41They're dead.
00:39:42They're both dead.
00:39:42Oh.
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:48Oh.
00:39:50What are you... are you almost crying?
00:39:53It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:56Jen!
00:39:57What's going on over there?
00:40:09What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:12Mrs. Scorman, it's burning!
00:40:14Mr. Edmonds!
00:40:15Oh, please. It's baking soda and water. You're fine.
00:40:18Detention. Today, after school.
00:40:20Shit.
00:40:33Jake, hey.
00:40:34Oh, uh, sorry.
00:40:36Gotta get to student council.
00:40:40Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:42The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:48You don't know about the...
00:40:50Oh, come on.
00:41:03Hey!
00:41:04Um, Ella.
00:41:07It's Emma.
00:41:08Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:10Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:20Hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:22We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop. It means...
00:41:29It means I can't...
00:41:31Can't what?
00:41:35I talked to a friend online.
00:41:38He's really important to me.
00:41:42And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:55You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and...
00:42:00Big ol' ego and...
00:42:02Rich kid, Rebecca.
00:42:03Okay, okay. I-I get it.
00:42:08You're kinda sweet.
00:42:13Hey, look at that.
00:42:16Oh, my God.
00:42:17Thank you!
00:42:19Oh, my God.
00:42:21You're a miracle worker.
00:42:27Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:29You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:32Shut up, Ella.
00:42:33It's Emma.
00:42:34Whatever.
00:42:41Oh, my God.
00:42:44Oh, my God.
00:42:49Oh, morning, Valley Whore!
00:42:52How are things in the castle?
00:42:53Oh, my God.
00:42:55Oh, my God.
00:42:55I didn't believe it.
00:42:57Oh, my God.
00:42:58Valley Whore.
00:43:00What are they talking about?
00:43:04Oh, my God.
00:43:15Oh, my God.
00:43:17Oh, my God.
00:43:19Guacamole Wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:23Oh my god, someone hacked my Castle Claimers messages.
00:43:26Touch me, Guacamole Wizard.
00:43:30Hey, Valley Whore, show him what you really like.
00:43:51Here you go. Here, this is for you.
00:43:58Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:00You hacked my laptop?
00:44:03Oh no, it wasn't me. It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:05But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:08What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:11What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:12No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:14Hey everyone, I think Valley Whore's a catfish.
00:44:19Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:47Stop it, stop, stop!
00:44:52I thought I'd said to Janet, it's in time.
00:44:57Jake!
00:44:58Hey!
00:45:00Now's the time.
00:45:02Tell them.
00:45:03Tell them what?
00:45:04That you're Guacamole Wizard.
00:45:07Who's Guacamole Wizard?
00:45:10Here you go.
00:45:13Oh my God.
00:45:15Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:18Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:22What?
00:45:23Why would you do that?
00:45:24Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:25Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:28Jake, is this true?
00:45:30Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:34Sorry.
00:45:35It was nothing personal?
00:45:42Yeah, nothing personal, huh?
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:46Oh!
00:45:47Oh!
00:45:49Oh!
00:45:50Oh!
00:45:50Oh!
00:45:50All right, all right, all right!
00:45:52Enough!
00:45:52What in the world is going on here?
00:45:55Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:56That's all him!
00:45:58Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:05Let me get this straight.
00:46:06You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:10It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:12It was Jen's cyber boy's spreadsheets.
00:46:13Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:17Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:19You think that's what it could be?
00:46:21Who cares?
00:46:22I care.
00:46:23And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:26So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:28What?
00:46:29I don't overmind that body.
00:46:31Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:33I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:35No, no, please don't.
00:46:37Please.
00:46:38Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:40Max's dad called.
00:46:41He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:43You're gonna go and you're gonna ask Jen to prom.
00:46:46End of discussion.
00:46:53Come on, you big coward.
00:46:54Message him.
00:46:56Just do it, just do it.
00:47:00You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:09I could never think that.
00:47:15But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:17Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:19I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:25I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:28If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:41Okay.
00:47:42You got this Haley.
00:47:44Just take a deep breath.
00:47:45You got this.
00:47:47You got this.
00:47:51You look beautiful.
00:47:55Thank you, mom.
00:48:01I can't even Vin's mic.
00:48:14Hey, Haley.
00:48:15I'm glad you came.
00:48:16You look so pretty.
00:48:18Hi.
00:48:19Hey, Max.
00:48:20Your house is gorgeous, I mean.
00:48:22No it's just my parents blood money, you know they're upstairs watching The Last Of Us right now?
00:48:26They don't care about shit. Get drunk, girl.
00:48:28Woo!
00:48:31Yeah.
00:48:42What are you doing here?
00:48:44Valley whore.
00:48:46Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:49Hey, everyone, let's give it up for Valley whore.
00:48:51Valley whore!
00:48:56Jen, why are you doing this? What have I even done to you?
00:48:59To me, oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:49:02because those little cringy messages on your castle game, those are concerning.
00:49:07Actually, I'm kind of a little bit of a perv. Did you know that, Hailey?
00:49:11She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:14Pervy princess!
00:49:17Pervy princess! Pervy princess! Pervy princess!
00:49:22Hey, let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:25Leave me alone.
00:49:27Is there a fire?
00:49:29Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:43Paul?
00:50:10It's fine.
00:50:11You go!
00:50:21are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend okay cole is not
00:50:28him anyways we are going to the prom together no i'm not yes you are it's okay you can be
00:50:35honest
00:50:35about your feelings so you too this whole time oh my god i am such an idiot hey wait wait
00:50:53please at least take my jacket you know if you really wanted to humiliate me you didn't have to
00:50:57go to the extra effort jen was doing just fine i wasn't trying to humiliate you then what were
00:51:01you trying to do i guess you obviously the white clothes were just an added bonus i knew i
00:51:07shouldn't trusted you now what about guacamole wizard what are you
00:51:21who is that i don't know just the devil get in the car
00:51:30i'm not gonna ask you again cole get in the car thank you just act normal for once and please
00:51:35introduce yourself to hayley i already assumed that's who this was hi mr happens so you're the
00:51:43scholarship trash that's hell bent on ruining cole's life well i've got news for you young lady my son
00:51:50is gonna marry a good girl from a respectable family and that's not you you will be forgotten
00:51:57you're a maid's daughter and your mom works for me stay away from him or i swear to god
00:52:04your mother is fire dad stop don't you touch my family i'll stay away
00:52:12hey come on you don't mean that i hate everything you stand for i hate your greed and your callousness
00:52:21and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like i hate everything about you
00:52:27i hate all of it i don't want any part of it so cole go with your dad
00:52:44no laptop and no phone for a week ever since mom died you've turned into this cold patriarch
00:52:50hey we're not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable i promised your mother i
00:52:55would
00:52:55make you a success son even if it meant saving you from yourself
00:53:06hi hayley i'm emma i know you are right i just felt kind of bad that i accidentally helped
00:53:14and ruin your life so i wanted to return your laptop to you goodness new
00:53:24oh wow thanks emma okay bye
00:53:32one down one to go you're so cool i know emma want to go to prom why not
00:53:41let's get these lovers together
00:53:48hi mr edmund hi max and max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you cole's grounded
00:53:55oh he is but it was his 18th birthday today what can i say max actions have consequences
00:54:03birthday or no cole is grounded well that really sucks because he's uh also the president of the
00:54:11prom committee we were supposed to review budgets today cole my son cole reviewing budgets he's never
00:54:20reviewed a budget a day in his life well mr edmunds today could be that day and we just have
00:54:24to give
00:54:24him back this school sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary
00:54:30work
00:54:39go away
00:54:43max what what are you guys doing here happy birthday cole i brought you my laptop and logged into your
00:54:50castle claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow
00:54:53what what what's going on dude it's your 18th birthday you can tell hayley who you are now you can
00:54:58be together
00:54:59just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are
00:55:04no i'll tell her myself stick me in your car
00:55:14come on the wizard
00:55:18mom i'm fine i just need some time alone
00:55:29open the door wait what he's here
00:55:41it's you
00:55:43i'm sure you've given me this to you a long time ago
00:55:47anyway i wanted to tell you who i was from the very beginning
00:55:50my dad threatened to follow your mom and i had to wait a really long time
00:55:54to tell you who i was i got my inheritance
00:55:57and i can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose
00:56:12hey we are
00:56:14i understand that this changes things
00:56:16yes if you don't love me the way you you love guacamole wizard but
00:56:23look i need you to know i love you
00:56:36cool i love you
00:56:38you do
00:56:40yes you idiot
00:56:42i've loved you for months
00:56:43i mean this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though because i had to be loyal to him and
00:56:50i think
00:56:51but you're him
00:56:52you didn't expect her
00:56:54i i mean i i always hoped it was you
00:56:59until you hoped
00:57:01yes
00:57:02i hoped it was you
00:57:03you were always there for me
00:57:07you're hot and
00:57:10you're really fucking hot
00:57:15you're really good
00:57:16hey uh
00:57:17one of those things i said we could do
00:57:20where i know
00:57:24take my clothes off
00:57:26you getting there don't worry
00:57:30i'm so beyond you
00:57:32just beyond me
00:57:35i'm so beyond you
00:57:49okay so
00:57:51what do you think
00:57:52ten out of ten
00:57:53yeah
00:57:55what do again
00:57:56i'll get sex with sex with me specifically
00:57:58i've only ever had sex with you specifically
00:58:02all right all right that's fair
00:58:03i'll uh
00:58:05i'll take that as a win
00:58:11what is my life now
00:58:12am i being nice to cole eggnance
00:58:15oh god no i i fully expect you to
00:58:18continue to berate me endlessly
00:58:21now i'll just
00:58:22i'm just lost behind it
00:58:24there's always been lost behind it
00:58:25i'll see you in a minute
00:58:26no
00:58:26stop it
00:58:30um
00:58:32same
00:58:33isn't promenade
00:58:35i think you know if it's promenade
00:58:38okay
00:58:40but the real question is
00:58:41do you got a date
00:58:44cole are you asking me a prom
00:58:46i would have asked you earlier
00:58:49but jay kind of beat me to the gym
00:58:50oh god please don't mention his name again
00:58:52i don't want to hear it
00:58:54yeah you don't have to ask me twice
00:58:56but i don't even have a dress
00:58:58later
00:59:03i just slept with cole edmonds and i'm in love with cole edmonds
00:59:07who would have guessed
00:59:11i thought
00:59:13only the best for my princess
00:59:15where did you get that
00:59:17uh
00:59:18i might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you
00:59:23might have wanted to go to prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:28of course they'll go to prom with you
00:59:35mr edmonds i didn't expect you to be here
00:59:38cole are you here
00:59:41cole are you here
00:59:45you can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:47i see you cole you are in big trouble
01:00:05hey uh you almost done in there
01:00:08you try changing into an evening gown and a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:14okay i'm ready
01:00:26what do you think
01:00:31my god haley you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
01:00:36uh-uh-uh i just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick you're not messing it up
01:00:41for at
01:00:41least 20 minutes
01:00:4320 more minutes
01:00:44we're in
01:00:45thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes i hear we have a winner
01:00:57and your 2026 prom queen is
01:01:02jen longfellow
01:01:05thank you oh my god thank you guys so much seriously this means the world's me
01:01:12i mean like who else would win right oh this is just the perfect moment
01:01:22oh my god that's hailey and cole
01:01:33this time that's up
01:01:35no
01:01:35but who cares
01:01:39hell yeah
01:01:44literally what the
01:01:45i am the queen okay she's just a little pervy princess come on everyone say it with me
01:01:52pervy princess pervy princess pervy princess
01:02:02wait wait wait what are those those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:06make cole edmunds fall in love with you his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:13don't worry daddy if i can't have him no one can i'm gonna destroy hayley roth's life is this real
01:02:22jen's crazy
01:02:25who did this who did this
01:02:30what you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone you little
01:02:36do you know jen as the principal i'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama
01:02:45but quite frankly you are the worst
01:02:49and i think it's time that you are expelled from edmunds academy you can't do that i'm the principal so
01:02:56uh yes i can
01:03:06there was no internship you lied to me
01:03:22oh my princess finally has a crown now all i need is my handsome prince oh
01:03:30yeah no can do all i have to offer is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:35and a awesome sense of humor
01:03:37oh how can i refuse
01:03:45oh that's my dad
01:03:49we are going home right now
01:03:52you disobeyed me for the last time boy
01:03:54yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:57you talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:04:01that you can't see i've already become that man
01:04:05and it's because of hayley
01:04:07and you can accept that i'll make my own path and best believe me i can
01:04:12i'll say this that's the most backbone i've ever seen in you cole
01:04:19joy pro
01:04:27i am so proud of you
01:04:30i can't have done with all you being by my son
01:04:34that was terrifying
01:04:35it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before though so
01:04:40i love you balacorn
01:04:41i love you guacamole wizard
01:04:44oh my god i gotta change that username
01:04:45yeah you do
01:04:46hey
01:04:55it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not
01:04:59like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's
01:04:59not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like
01:04:59it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not
01:04:59like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's
01:04:59not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like
01:04:59it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not
01:04:59like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's not like it's
01:05:01not like it's not like it
01:05:02You
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