Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 2 hours ago
Hate Me Like You Love Me New 2026
Transcript
00:00:00Caleb isn't answering his phone. Lacrosse practice ended an hour ago. Could you just find him?
00:00:05We're waiting for you for dinner. Yeah, fine. I'll look for him. Catherine can't reach her
00:00:11precious son, and somehow that's my problem. Our parents have been inseparable since childhood.
00:00:17Catherine is my godmother. They raised us side by side, convinced we'd grow up as close as they were.
00:00:23They never noticed when it all went wrong. Jade Richards perches on the edge of the sink,
00:00:27and Caleb, right there, stands between her thighs in nothing but a towel that hangs dangerously low
00:00:33on his hips. Caleb, someone could walk in. I don't give a fuck. I should leave. I should
00:00:40definitely, absolutely leave. Instead, I stand there like an idiot, heat flooding through my body in
00:00:46waves. This is disgusting. He is disgusting. You hate him. I slam the door, forcing my expression
00:00:53into irritation rather than the hot shame crawling up my throat. Your mother's been calling you for
00:00:58an hour, asshole! Our parents need us both at my house for dinner tonight. Apparently, it's something
00:01:04important. I should go. Coach will kill me if I'm late. You could have texted. Catherine asked me to
00:01:12find you. I found you. Message delivered. Is that what we're calling it? Because it looked a lot like
00:01:20you were watching. Long enough to be disgusted. Disgusted, right? I'm leaving. Don't be late
00:01:27for dinner. I'll drive you home. I have my bike. Still not in the mood to sit on some used
00:01:32condoms
00:01:33in your car. Suit yourself, princess. Dinner passes in a blur of small talk and forced smiles,
00:01:42but something feels different tonight. Catherine keeps touching my father's arm,
00:01:47not the comforting paths of a grieving friend. They've been spending so much time together since
00:01:52mom died. Since Caleb's father vanished with every dollar the Thorntons had. Kids, Catherine and I
00:01:59actually have something to tell you. So we've decided to get married. No, no way. He deserves happiness
00:02:06and Catherine is wonderful, but it's only been six months since my mother died. We found a new house,
00:02:12neutral territory for everyone. The kids' rooms are on the same floor. And Serena, your room connects
00:02:21to Caleb's through a Jack and Jill bathroom. Isn't it cool? Come on, you guys. It will be nice.
00:02:29My lifelong secret crush soon to become my stepbrother. Yeah, dad, really fucking nice.
00:02:36I set the boxes down on the unfamiliar floor, surveying this room that was supposed to be mine.
00:02:43Neutral territory, my father called it. A fresh start. The walls are painted a careful beige
00:02:49that commits to nothing. Now I'm here, in this house that holds no memories of my mother.
00:02:57Careful!
00:02:57It's just your crap. I'm taking a shower. Try not to miss me too much.
00:03:05This is what I am now. Sharing walls with my worst school enemy. But there was a time before all
00:03:11that.
00:03:12You're doing it wrong. Here. Like this.
00:03:17Stop. Stop romanticizing.
00:03:23Shit, my tampons. I left them on the bathroom counter this morning. If I'm fast enough?
00:03:35Wanted a preview of your new stepbrother, pervert? That's fucked up, even for you.
00:03:40I just left something on the counter. Not everything is about you and your abs, asshole.
00:03:46Keep telling yourself that.
00:03:50I'm not done talking.
00:03:52Well, I'm done listening.
00:03:54Let go of me, Caleb!
00:03:56Or what? Gonna scream, run to daddy?
00:04:01God, you're pathetic.
00:04:03Still crying over mommy?
00:04:06It's been six months, Serena.
00:04:08The rest of us have moved on.
00:04:10You are exactly like your shitty father!
00:04:13Say that again. I dare you.
00:04:15You heard me. You're just like him.
00:04:17Like Simon. A bully who only feels big when he's making someone else feel small.
00:04:23Keep his fucking name out of your mouth before I...
00:04:25Before you what? Hit me! Prove my point!
00:04:29Such a shame your mother won't see you graduate.
00:04:32But hey, your dad moved on quickly.
00:04:35Guess she wasn't that hard to forget.
00:04:37Don't talk about my mother!
00:04:39Why not?
00:04:41Scared you're just as forgettable as she is?
00:04:44Careful, princess.
00:04:46Do you really want to start something you can't finish?
00:04:48You know what I think?
00:04:49I think you're terrified that one day you'll be gone and no one will even notice.
00:04:53That you'll just be another ghost no one bothers to remember.
00:04:57No one will ever truly love someone as pathetic as you.
00:05:00And deep down, you know it's true.
00:05:09Serena, open the fucking door!
00:05:13You just signed your death sentence, princess.
00:05:16You hear me?
00:05:17From this moment on, your life is going to be a living hell.
00:05:21There's a long silence before his footsteps retreat and I hear his bedroom door slams.
00:05:26Minutes pass.
00:05:28Maybe five.
00:05:29Maybe ten.
00:05:30Then I sink to the floor, back against my bed, and wrap my arms around my knees.
00:05:35I hate him.
00:05:36I hate that I wounded him.
00:05:38I hate that I noticed.
00:05:41I know him better now than I ever wanted to.
00:05:44He runs at six.
00:05:45I've memorized the particular weight of his footsteps on the stairs.
00:05:49Showers at 640.
00:05:51And the pipes in my bathroom sing a specific note when the water pressure changes.
00:05:56Tuesday.
00:05:57My shampoo mysteriously turned my hair traffic cone orange.
00:06:01Wednesday.
00:06:02Every single bra I own disappeared, reappearing frozen in blocks of ice in the freezer.
00:06:08Thursday.
00:06:09My laptop password changed itself to Daddy Issues 123.
00:06:13At 3.14 in the afternoon, I'm in the kitchen.
00:06:16He doesn't get home until 4.30 on Thursdays.
00:06:19I'm halfway through making the world's saddest sandwich when the front door opens an hour earlier than his schedule allows.
00:06:26My entire body goes on high alert.
00:06:28Skin prickling.
00:06:30Pulse jackknifing.
00:06:31Don't turn around.
00:06:32Don't give him the satisfaction.
00:06:35Careful.
00:06:36Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.
00:06:38His chest presses more firmly against my back as he reaches higher,
00:06:42and the contact sends electricity shooting down my spine, pooling low and hot in my belly.
00:06:47Is something wrong, princess?
00:06:49I just wanted to grab my protein bar.
00:06:53That'll be Jade.
00:06:56Hmm.
00:06:58Try not to listen too hard, sis.
00:06:59Sis, the word is a weapon, a reminder, a fucking power play that makes me want to throw the knife
00:07:05at his head.
00:07:06They'll have a drink, and then she'll leave.
00:07:09That's how these things work.
00:07:11Hot water, locked door, the white noise of falling water drowning out everything else, except...
00:07:17Oh, God, Caleb!
00:07:19Jade's voice cuts through the wall like it's made of tissue paper, high and desperate and absolutely not faking it.
00:07:26Her moans build in pitch and urgency, and I hear the creak of bed springs, the thump of a headboard
00:07:32against a wall,
00:07:33heat coils between my thighs, insistent and demanding.
00:07:36My body betrays me completely, nipples tightening, breath coming shorter,
00:07:40and I hate myself for the way my hand drifts down my stomach.
00:07:44I've never touched myself like this before.
00:07:46What would it feel like?
00:07:48His hands instead of water, his weight pressing me against the tile,
00:07:52his voice in my ear, low and commanding.
00:07:55Take it.
00:07:57Take everything I give you.
00:07:59The pressure builds impossibly fast, my free hand bracing against the tile as my legs shake.
00:08:04When I come, it's violent, earth-shattering.
00:08:07The silence hits me first.
00:08:09No more sounds from his room.
00:08:11Nothing.
00:08:11Oh, God.
00:08:12Oh, fuck.
00:08:13Could they hear?
00:08:14I stumble toward the door, needing to confirm that barrier between my humiliation and reality.
00:08:19The door to his room is cracked open, but I checked it before I got in the shower.
00:08:23I'm certain I did.
00:08:25It was closed.
00:08:26Firmly.
00:08:27Completely closed.
00:08:28My heart stops.
00:08:29Did he open it?
00:08:31Control is an illusion I've been selling myself for 18 years.
00:08:35This is who I am.
00:08:36The girl who prepares.
00:08:38The girl who controls what she can.
00:08:40The girl with the five-year plan.
00:08:42And the girl who definitely doesn't spend every waking moment thinking about her stepbrother's hands.
00:08:48Lies.
00:08:48All lies.
00:08:49Just once more.
00:08:50Then you'll study.
00:08:52Then you'll be normal.
00:08:53Having fun?
00:08:58Going somewhere?
00:09:01Let go of me!
00:09:02Sit the fuck down, Serena.
00:09:05Fuck you!
00:09:05You don't?
00:09:09So, who's the lucky bastard?
00:09:11What?
00:09:12What are you talking about?
00:09:14Don't play dumb.
00:09:15It's not cute.
00:09:16You are clearly getting yourself off to someone.
00:09:19So, who is it?
00:09:20Some SAT tutor with a hard-on for the teacher's pets?
00:09:24One of those debate nerds who follows you around like you're made of cocaine?
00:09:28I wasn't!
00:09:29Your face is the color of a fucking tomato and your breathing's all fucked up.
00:09:34So, who's got perfect little Serena all worked up?
00:09:37Must be someone truly pathetic.
00:09:39Get out of my room!
00:09:41Is it that guy from Calc?
00:09:43The one with the glasses who stares at you when you're doing board work?
00:09:46No, wait.
00:09:48You'd never go for someone that obvious.
00:09:50Too desperate.
00:09:51I said get out!
00:09:52Or maybe someone inappropriate.
00:09:55Someone you know you shouldn't want.
00:09:58Serena, who were you thinking about?
00:10:01No one!
00:10:01I wasn't!
00:10:02I was just!
00:10:03It's none of your fucking business!
00:10:06You're lying.
00:10:07I can always tell when you're lying.
00:10:08Your voice goes up at the end.
00:10:09Your eyes dart to the left.
00:10:11And right now, you look fucking terrified.
00:10:13Which means whoever you were thinking about is someone you really don't want me to know about.
00:10:19You were thinking about me, weren't you?
00:10:21That's disgusting!
00:10:24Yeah?
00:10:25Then why is your pulse going crazy right here?
00:10:28Your body's a fucking traitor.
00:10:30You're insane!
00:10:31Then why can't you look at me?
00:10:34Why do you look like you're about to either cry or cum?
00:10:37Because you're in my face!
00:10:39What were you imagining?
00:10:40My hands on you?
00:10:42Inside you?
00:10:43My mouth on your neck?
00:10:45Or your legs?
00:10:49Are you imagining how I'd touch you?
00:10:52Hard and rough until you forget your own name.
00:10:54Or maybe slow and deep.
00:10:56Until you're begging me to let you cum.
00:10:58But here's the thing, princess.
00:11:00You're not even worth the effort it would take to undress you.
00:11:06You're fucking disgusting!
00:11:09You think I want any part of that?
00:11:11Fix yourself!
00:11:13You look like a cheap whore.
00:11:15Dinner's in ten.
00:11:17Try to act like a normal fucking person.
00:11:20I don't move for a long time.
00:11:22Can't move.
00:11:23My thigh still burns where he touched it.
00:11:25I stand there trying to breathe around the tightness in my chest.
00:11:29Six weeks of college.
00:11:31And I've learned that hope is just disappointment wearing a pretty dress.
00:11:35I had acceptances from everywhere.
00:11:37Places with actual seasons and zero Caleb Thorntons per square mile.
00:11:41But no.
00:11:42Dad pulled the family needs to stick together card.
00:11:45I think it's actually really nice that you and Caleb ended up here together.
00:11:49After everything, it just feels right.
00:11:52Yeah.
00:11:53Um, totally.
00:11:55Everyone's coming over soon.
00:11:56The picnic's about to start.
00:11:58The bastard had applied after me.
00:12:01After.
00:12:01Found out where I was going and followed like some kind of stalker.
00:12:05Even won grants and scholarships.
00:12:07Including the one from his high school presidency.
00:12:09My fresh start rotted before it even began.
00:12:12The picnic is about to start.
00:12:14I'm about to prepare a fruit plate when I hear this voice.
00:12:16That specific frequency of a woman's giggle that makes my eye twitch.
00:12:21Jade stands at the garden gate.
00:12:23Her hand threaded through Caleb's arm.
00:12:25Her sundress clings to curves I remember from the locker room.
00:12:28Curves I heard him worship in his bedroom.
00:12:30While my body betrayed every principle I claimed to hold.
00:12:34Oh, Caleb.
00:12:35You didn't mention you were bringing someone.
00:12:38Jade, sweetheart.
00:12:40Welcome.
00:12:41Thanks, Mrs. Lacken.
00:12:43Everything looks amazing.
00:12:45Did you make all this yourself?
00:12:47Most of it.
00:12:49Serena helped with the fruit platters.
00:12:51How domestic.
00:12:53Serena, so good at this stuff.
00:12:55The compliment lands like a slap wrapped in ribbons.
00:12:58This stuff.
00:12:59Like I'm some 1950s housewife in training while she's out here being decorative and touchable and everything I'm not.
00:13:04We're so proud of both of them.
00:13:07Adjusting to college life so beautifully.
00:13:12Serena's doing wonderfully.
00:13:14Dean's list material, her advisor says.
00:13:17Well, she has to excel at something.
00:13:19Competition's tough when you can't coast on personality.
00:13:22Some of us prefer substance over charm.
00:13:25Kids.
00:13:26Babe, you two are hilarious.
00:13:29It's like watching real siblings bicker.
00:13:32Real siblings.
00:13:33The words land like ice water down my spine.
00:13:36We end up on the same picnic blanket because the universe has a sick sense of humor.
00:13:40Jade chatters about rush week and themed parties and other things that would require me to have a soul.
00:13:45She doesn't know him.
00:13:47Doesn't know he checks the locks three times before bed.
00:13:50Doesn't know he still has nightmares about his father.
00:13:52Doesn't know he reads Bukowski when he thinks no one's watching.
00:13:56After the neighbors evacuate and our parents disappear inside with wine that'll make them nostalgic and weepy,
00:14:01I escape to the kitchen.
00:14:03Jade left an hour ago.
00:14:04Something about a sorority emergency that sounded suspiciously like,
00:14:08I'm bored and these people are old.
00:14:11Thought you'd hide in here all night.
00:14:14I'm cleaning up.
00:14:16Some of us contribute.
00:14:18Is that what you call sulking in corners and shooting death glares at my girlfriend?
00:14:22She's not your girlfriend.
00:14:23She's a prop.
00:14:25An accessory.
00:14:27This week's validation fix.
00:14:30Jealous much?
00:14:31I'd rather be jealous of a yeast infection.
00:14:34Strong words.
00:14:36You know what I think?
00:14:38I think you can't stand watching me with her.
00:14:40I think it eats you alive.
00:14:42You followed me here.
00:14:44You could have gone anywhere.
00:14:47But you chose here.
00:14:49Maybe I just like the school.
00:14:51Maybe you're so terrified of being alone with yourself that you need me around to torture.
00:14:56Watch your fucking mouth, princess.
00:14:58You know what?
00:14:59I feel sorry for you.
00:15:01I'm serious.
00:15:02I feel sorry for the boy whose father beat him and then abandoned him.
00:15:05The boy's so desperate for approval, he'll fuck girls who don't even know his middle name.
00:15:09Because it's easier than admitting no one's ever actually loved him for who he is.
00:15:16Jade doesn't see you, Caleb.
00:15:19None of them do.
00:15:20They see the smile and the body and the charm.
00:15:23Shut the fuck up!
00:15:24And that works for you because if they saw the real you, the broken, desperate, terrified little boy under all
00:15:31that armor, they'd run.
00:15:34I'm not jealous of Jade.
00:15:35I pity her.
00:15:37And I pity you.
00:15:38The rest of the dishes are all yours.
00:15:50The library smells like anxiety and desperation with hints of stale Red Bull.
00:15:54Basically the official cologne of higher education.
00:15:57Mia sits next to me, allegedly writing her sociology paper but actually deep-stalking her TA's Instagram.
00:16:04I know because she keeps making these tiny gasping sounds every time she scrolls past a shirtless beach photo.
00:16:10Six weeks into freshman year, and Mia is the closest thing I've ever had to a real friend.
00:16:15In high school, I couldn't afford friends.
00:16:17He has a dog.
00:16:19A golden retriever named Pancake.
00:16:21Mia, focus.
00:16:23I am focused.
00:16:25Focused on how that man fills out a wetsuit.
00:16:30Ow, what?
00:16:31Look over there.
00:16:33Look, but don't make it obvious.
00:16:34Mia, if this is another guy you think has protagonist energy...
00:16:38Serena, shut up and look!
00:16:41Lucas Bennett is walking toward us, and apparently puberty decided to work overtime on him.
00:16:46The last time I saw Lucas, he was Caleb's perpetual shadow.
00:16:49Always there, but never quite there.
00:16:51Is this seat taken?
00:16:56Serena Lacken.
00:16:57I thought that was you.
00:16:59How long has it been?
00:17:01A while.
00:17:02Since high school, at least.
00:17:05Too long.
00:17:05I heard you were here.
00:17:07Pre-law, right?
00:17:08Of course you are.
00:17:09You were always terrifyingly smart.
00:17:14Pre-med for me.
00:17:17Turns out all those years of patching up lacrosse injuries gave me a taste for it.
00:17:22You patched up lacrosse injuries?
00:17:24I thought you were one of the ones causing them.
00:17:27Fair point.
00:17:28Maybe I was just atoning for my sins.
00:17:30We all have things we wish we'd done differently back then.
00:17:33I remember you from Honours English.
00:17:35You demolished everyone in that Fitzgerald debate.
00:17:38I was genuinely scared of you.
00:17:40Fear is an appropriate response to literary analysis.
00:17:45The cafe by the Humanities building is acceptable.
00:17:48Everything else tastes like it was brewed during the Reagan administration.
00:17:52A coffee snob.
00:17:54I respect that.
00:17:56Strong opinions about beverages are a green flag.
00:17:59Would you look at the time I have that thing?
00:18:02The urgent thing.
00:18:04With the people.
00:18:05At the place.
00:18:08Serena, text me everything.
00:18:12So, are you going to the Halloween party next Friday?
00:18:16The big one at Sigma Chi.
00:18:18Everyone goes.
00:18:19Parties aren't really my thing.
00:18:21That's exactly why you should come.
00:18:23College is about new experiences, right?
00:18:26Breaking out of old patterns.
00:18:28Three tables away, I feel the weight of Caleb's gaze like fingertips trailing down my spine.
00:18:34His eyes are locked on me with an intensity that makes my stomach flip.
00:18:38Tell me more about this party.
00:18:40What exactly makes it so unmissable?
00:18:42It's legendary, honestly.
00:18:44The costumes get competitive.
00:18:45The music is actually decent.
00:18:47Plus, I hear the punch is strong enough to make even pre-law students have fun.
00:18:52Bold assumption that I don't already know how to have fun.
00:18:56Prove me wrong, then.
00:18:57Come to the party.
00:18:59Let me buy you a drink.
00:19:01You're very confident for someone who hasn't seen me in years.
00:19:05Some things are worth being confident about.
00:19:07I'll think about it.
00:19:08I'm looking at Caleb as he stands abruptly.
00:19:10He doesn't pack up his things.
00:19:12Doesn't grab the broken pen.
00:19:13Just turns and walks out.
00:19:15Movement sharp with barely controlled violence.
00:19:17And my pulse is racing for entirely the wrong reason.
00:19:22The cruelest lies are the ones we tell ourselves about what we want.
00:19:26He texted again while I was in the shower.
00:19:28Three messages in 20 minutes.
00:19:30He's sweet.
00:19:31Persistent in a way that feels like warmth instead of pressure.
00:19:34Normal in a way I've forgotten people can be.
00:19:37This is good.
00:19:38Lucas is good.
00:19:39Lucas is exactly what you need.
00:19:41Caleb without the emotional terrorism.
00:19:43This is what normal feels like.
00:19:45This is what I deserve.
00:19:46My eyes still on my phone.
00:19:48Still composing a reply that sounds flirty without trying too hard.
00:19:52Well, fuck me sideways.
00:19:54That's a face I've never seen before.
00:19:57Texting lover boy with that dopey ass smile?
00:20:01Pathetic doesn't even begin to cover it, princess.
00:20:05What the fuck are you doing in my room?
00:20:06Get out!
00:20:08These are tragic, Serena.
00:20:10Truly, like, seek help levels of unsexy.
00:20:13I said get out!
00:20:16Are you wearing these to the party?
00:20:19Please say yes.
00:20:20I need to see Lucas' face when he discovers what's underneath.
00:20:26Give those back!
00:20:27Granny panties with fruit on them.
00:20:29Bold strategy for a girl trying to lose her V-card.
00:20:32I'm not trying to.
00:20:34Oh, you're definitely trying.
00:20:36That dumb smile you just walked in with?
00:20:39The sad little hair flip in the library?
00:20:42Touching his arm like you learned flirting from a WikiHow article?
00:20:45Get off my bed!
00:20:47Lucas Bennett.
00:20:48That's your big play?
00:20:50You really think that golden retro boy is interested in you?
00:20:53Unlike some people, Lucas is actually capable of basic human decency.
00:20:58Lucas is capable of fucking anything with a pulse, sure.
00:21:02But interested?
00:21:03Serena.
00:21:05Sweetheart.
00:21:06Look at yourself.
00:21:07You used to be friends with him.
00:21:09What happened?
00:21:10People grow apart.
00:21:12It happens.
00:21:13That's not an answer.
00:21:15It's the only one you're getting.
00:21:18Ancient history isn't really my thing.
00:21:20But we're not talking about me.
00:21:22We're talking about you, and you're going to show up in some tragic little costume
00:21:26and follow him around all night like a stray dog.
00:21:30And he's going to ditch you the second someone hotter walks by.
00:21:33You don't know anything about...
00:21:35I know you.
00:21:3619 years old and never been fucked.
00:21:38You think that's an accident?
00:21:40You think guys just haven't noticed you?
00:21:42They've noticed.
00:21:44They're just not interested.
00:21:46There's nothing there to want.
00:21:48Lucas asked me.
00:21:50Not the other way around.
00:21:52Lucas is working an angle.
00:21:54Probably a bet with his frat brothers.
00:21:56Go ahead.
00:21:57Prove them right.
00:21:59Make a fool of yourself in front of the whole school.
00:22:01I'd rather humiliate myself in front of everyone than spend another second with you.
00:22:05Then we're both getting what we want.
00:22:07Wear the ugly underwear.
00:22:09It'll match the rest of you.
00:22:12The door clicks shut behind him, and I don't move for a long time.
00:22:16My fingers find the strawberry underwear crumpled on the carpet, and I clutch them against my chest like armor.
00:22:22The cotton is warm from his hands, and I despise that I notice.
00:22:26What was that look?
00:22:27Right before he left, his expression shifted into territory I didn't recognize.
00:22:32Not cruel.
00:22:33Not mocking.
00:22:34Almost desperate.
00:22:35Get out of my head, Thornton.
00:22:37Get out.
00:22:38I look at myself in the mirror.
00:22:40The black bodysuit clings to curves I usually hide beneath hoodies and oversized sweaters.
00:22:45Holy fuck, Serena Lackham.
00:22:48Where have you been hiding that body?
00:22:50Lucas is going to swallow his own tongue when he sees you.
00:22:53Hell, I might switch teams.
00:22:55What if he doesn't like me?
00:22:57Oh, he'll like you.
00:22:59That boy has been eye-fucking you through every study session.
00:23:03And maybe tonight, he finally gets to do it for real.
00:23:08Okay, let's go before I change my mind.
00:23:12The party is chaos incarnate.
00:23:14Music pounds through the walls, bass so heavy the floor vibrates beneath my heels.
00:23:19Stay close!
00:23:20Lucas said he'd be wearing a skeleton mask.
00:23:23Great.
00:23:24Super helpful.
00:23:25I've already counted four skeleton masks in my immediate vicinity.
00:23:28Mia's sorority sisters descend like perfectly coordinated vultures, dragging her towards
00:23:34something called the situation on the dance floor.
00:23:37I park myself near the makeshift bar, draining my cup.
00:23:40The alcohol burns away the edges of my anxiety, making everything softer, warmer, more possible.
00:23:47That's when I see him.
00:23:49Lucas.
00:23:49Tall frame and broad shoulders I recognize.
00:23:52White mask tilted toward me from across the room.
00:23:55My pulse quickens, and I tell myself it's the alcohol.
00:23:58He doesn't wave or call out.
00:24:00He simply extends one hand in my direction, palm up, waiting.
00:24:04Probably wants to see if the pre-law princess is as frigid as everyone says.
00:24:08Fine.
00:24:09Let him see.
00:24:10Let him tell everyone afterward.
00:24:12At least I won't be untouched anymore.
00:24:14Won't be the pathetic virgin Caleb mocks at every opportunity.
00:24:17The silence feels intentional.
00:24:19Part of the costume, part of the game.
00:24:22Lucas?
00:24:23He doesn't answer.
00:24:24His hands find my waist instead, thumbs tracing slow circles against my hip bones.
00:24:29And I decide that silence is answer enough.
00:24:32Oh, we're really committing to the role.
00:24:34I don't want this to be special.
00:24:36I don't want tender words or meaningful glances.
00:24:39I just want it done.
00:24:41Lucas's hands are rougher than I expected, gripping my waist like he's afraid I'll disappear.
00:24:46Fuck, okay.
00:24:47I kinda like aggressive Lucas.
00:24:50Can you at least lift the mask?
00:24:53I wanna kiss you.
00:24:55He pauses.
00:24:56Then slowly, he pushes the mask up just enough to expose his mouth.
00:25:01In the darkness, I can't make out features.
00:25:03Just the outline of lips that crash into mine with bruising force.
00:25:08God, who knew Lucas had this in him?
00:25:14His fingers finally slide between my thighs.
00:25:17When he pushes finger inside me without warning, I nearly come off the bed.
00:25:21The stretch burns, but the pleasure overwhelms it.
00:25:24Especially when his thumb finds my clit and circles with practiced precision.
00:25:28My mind drifts as sensation builds.
00:25:31What if it was him?
00:25:32I imagine Caleb's hands instead of Lucas's.
00:25:35Caleb's body pressing me into the mattress.
00:25:38Caleb's breath hot against my throat.
00:25:40The fantasy builds pressure low in my belly, spiraling toward a release that hovers just
00:25:45out of reach.
00:25:46My fingers dig into shoulders that belong to one man while my mind belongs entirely to
00:25:51another.
00:25:51My orgasm hits like a freight train, completely unexpected.
00:25:55It's over.
00:25:57It's done.
00:25:57You're not a virgin anymore.
00:26:01The girl in the mirror looks exactly as hollow as I feel.
00:26:04Congratulations, Serena.
00:26:06You're officially as pathetic as Caleb always said.
00:26:08When I finally emerge, I nearly collide with a familiar chest.
00:26:12There you are.
00:26:14I've been looking everywhere for you.
00:26:17Some dickhead in the same mask spilled his entire drink on me.
00:26:21Had to go change.
00:26:22Did you just get here?
00:26:24You look amazing, by the way.
00:26:26The floor tilts beneath me.
00:26:28He's been down here looking for me, which means the man in that bedroom, that wasn't
00:26:33Lucas at all.
00:26:35I call her princess because that's what she is.
00:26:38A girl who's never had to fight for anything.
00:26:40And I've been crawling and fighting my whole fucking life.
00:26:45The ceiling above my bed holds no answers, but I stare at it anyway, counting the minutes
00:26:50by the soft sounds filtering through the bathroom wall.
00:26:53A drawer opening, water running, the whisper of fabric against skin.
00:26:58You're sick, twisted beyond repair.
00:27:01I remember the first time I called her princess.
00:27:04We were 12.
00:27:05She tried to skip a stone.
00:27:07Failed spectacularly.
00:27:09Her laugh bounced across the water.
00:27:11This mix of embarrassment and joy that hit me right in the chest.
00:27:16You're doing it wrong.
00:27:17Here.
00:27:18Like this.
00:27:20See?
00:27:21Perfect technique for a perfect princess.
00:27:24Thanks, Caleb.
00:27:25Two words.
00:27:26That's all it took.
00:27:28I was done for.
00:27:29Then I went home.
00:27:31That was the summer my father discovered new hobbies.
00:27:34I learned to sleep with my eyes half open, to flinch at footsteps, to disappear into walls.
00:27:40And suddenly, Serena's perfection stopped being something beautiful.
00:27:44It became a mirror.
00:27:45If her life is so perfect, let me be the one in perfection.
00:27:55I wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her until she broke, until she screamed.
00:28:00And I wanted to hold her until she felt safe enough to fall apart.
00:28:04Pick a lane, asshole.
00:28:06You can't destroy someone and save them at the same time.
00:28:09Because Serena isn't just in my head.
00:28:11She's carved into my bones.
00:28:13My phone buzzes on the nightstand.
00:28:16The racing circuit.
00:28:17The debt follows me like a second shadow.
00:28:20My father's legacy.
00:28:21I wonder how much longer I can keep buried the obsession that drives me to follow her.
00:28:26Like a satellite caught in her gravitational pull.
00:28:30I've been choking on jealousy for the past 20 minutes.
00:28:33It was just one of those moments, you know?
00:28:39Look at me like that.
00:28:40Just once.
00:28:41But she never will.
00:28:44You have the most beautiful smile.
00:28:46Lucas leans in closer, whispering something that makes her cheeks go pink.
00:28:50And I'm gripping my hands so hard my knuckles turn white.
00:28:53She doesn't pull away.
00:28:55Doesn't stiffen.
00:28:56Just tilts her head and listens like he's reciting fucking Shakespeare.
00:29:00I want to be at his place.
00:29:01I shove back from the table and walk out before I do something I can't take back.
00:29:06I try the gym first.
00:29:0845 minutes of punishing my muscles until they scream.
00:29:11But every time I close my eyes between sets, I see her hand on his arm.
00:29:16Her smile.
00:29:17The way she leaned toward him like he was magnetic north.
00:29:20I last three hours.
00:29:22Three hours of telling myself I don't care who she talks to.
00:29:25But my feet carry me down the hallway.
00:29:27Her bedroom door is unlocked.
00:29:29The shower runs in the bathroom and I should leave.
00:29:32She left her underwear on the bed.
00:29:34Tiny strawberries printed across the fabric like some kind of joke.
00:29:37A laugh builded in my chest, but it dies before it reaches my throat.
00:29:42The water shuts off.
00:29:44The door opens and...
00:29:46Jesus fucking Christ.
00:29:48She was wearing nothing but a towel that's trying its best but failing spectacularly.
00:29:53Water drops race down her collarbone.
00:29:56Her hair is plastered to her shoulders.
00:29:58Darker with moisture.
00:29:59And the way that terrycloth clings to every curve she usually hides under hoodies
00:30:04makes my brain short circuit.
00:30:05This is what she's been keeping from me.
00:30:08She doesn't speak.
00:30:10Her body tells me everything.
00:30:11The way she arches into my touch.
00:30:13The way her breath hitches when my thumb brushes her.
00:30:17She moves against me with increasing desperation.
00:30:20Her fingers in my chest.
00:30:21And she lowers her mouth to me.
00:30:23Her fingers find my shoulders when she climbs onto my lap.
00:30:26Straddling me.
00:30:27And the towel rides up her thighs.
00:30:29Through my jeans, I can feel the heat of her.
00:30:31And my hands find her waist like they've been waiting their whole existence for this moment.
00:30:37I wake up so hard it hurts.
00:30:40Her phantom warmth still pressed against my skin.
00:30:43Pathetic.
00:30:45You're absolutely pathetic.
00:30:47She moves against me with increasing desperation.
00:30:50Her fingers in my chest.
00:30:51And she lowers her mouth to me.
00:30:53Her phone sits on the counter.
00:30:55Screen glowing with an unread message.
00:30:57I should walk away.
00:30:58But I've never been decent where Serena is concerned.
00:31:00The screen illuminates at my touch.
00:31:03And my ex-best friend's name stares back at me.
00:31:05Lucas.
00:31:06My blood turns to lead in my veins.
00:31:09The racing circuit.
00:31:10Lucas is taking her to the fucking racing circuit.
00:31:13Where I'll be competing to pay off another installment of my father's debt.
00:31:17Fuck.
00:31:18My two worlds are about to collide.
00:31:19And there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it.
00:31:25Three more races after tonight.
00:31:27And you're clear, kid.
00:31:29How does that feel?
00:31:31Like I might actually sleep again.
00:31:33Two years since I stood in our kitchen watching my mother cry over bills my father left behind.
00:31:38When the helmet goes on, I'm supposed to stop being Caleb Thornton.
00:31:42Out here, I'm Shane Lander.
00:31:4423.
00:31:45No family drama.
00:31:46Just a guy who rides fast and pays his debts on time.
00:31:50You've earned it, man.
00:31:54Fastest rider I've ever let borrow my name.
00:31:56The engine beneath me roars to life, vibrating through my thighs, my chest, my teeth.
00:32:02Despite everything, freedom floods through my veins.
00:32:05This is the part I'll miss when the debt clears.
00:32:08Exhaust fumes curl through the night air.
00:32:11That's when I see them.
00:32:12No.
00:32:12Serena and Lucas, walking through the crowd like tourists in a war zone.
00:32:17I'll be right there with you.
00:32:18His arm draped over her shoulders with that casual ownership that makes me want to put my fist through his
00:32:23perfect teeth.
00:32:24She really agreed to come here with him.
00:32:26She really came here.
00:32:28To this oil-stained hellscape and men with criminal records.
00:32:31Just focused.
00:32:33The starting signal flares red, then green.
00:32:36First lap.
00:32:37I'm in the lead.
00:32:38But she doesn't leave my thoughts.
00:32:40What the fuck is Lucas thinking?
00:32:42She looks wrong here.
00:32:43Too clean.
00:32:44Too bright.
00:32:44Like someone photoshopped an angel into a meth lamp.
00:32:47I risk a glance at the crowd.
00:32:49Mistake.
00:32:50Huge fucking mistake.
00:32:52Our eyes meet over Lucas' shoulder for a second.
00:32:55She knows it's me.
00:32:56The curve comes too fast.
00:32:58One second I'm flying.
00:32:59The next, the bike slides out from under me like the ground itself has betrayed me.
00:33:04Gravel bites into my shoulder blade where the jacket rode up.
00:33:07The sky spins above me in lazy circles.
00:33:10Stars smearing into floodlights into darkness.
00:33:13You're an absolute idiot!
00:33:15What the hell were you thinking?
00:33:17I tried to answer, but my lungs have decided breathing is optional.
00:33:21Each inhale feels like swallowing fiberglass.
00:33:24Someone call 911!
00:33:26Immediately!
00:33:27No ambulances, girl.
00:33:30We can't let the police search here.
00:33:32He could be bleeding internally!
00:33:34Look at him!
00:33:36I can handle this.
00:33:38We have people who can help.
00:33:40I don't give a fuck about your people!
00:33:42Serena, maybe we should...
00:33:45Shut up!
00:33:46Just shut up and let me think!
00:33:48I gasp and pain floods through me, sharp and clarifying, radiating from my ribs to my spine.
00:33:55Caleb, here you go.
00:33:57Stay with me.
00:33:58Just stay with me, okay?
00:34:00Worth it.
00:34:01I think as darkness creeps in at the edges.
00:34:04Totally fucking worth it to see her look at me that.
00:34:08Have you ever hated someone so much that watching them bleed feels like bleeding yourself?
00:34:13The fluorescent lights of the emergency room buzz overhead, casting everything in a pallid glow.
00:34:19Nurses move around Caleb, checking vitals, cleaning wounds.
00:34:23I agreed to come tonight because Lucas asked, and because some reckless part of me wanted to prove I could
00:34:29be spontaneous.
00:34:30Then the race started, and my eyes found one rider without conscious thought.
00:34:35The angle of his shoulders, the aggressive grace of his turns.
00:34:39I knew it was Caleb before I could name why.
00:34:42Come on, Serena. Let's go.
00:34:45We can still salvage the night.
00:34:46No. I'll take him home.
00:34:48You go.
00:34:49I watch him disappear through the automatic doors and feel nothing.
00:34:53The only thing occupying my mind is the boy bleeding in the room behind me.
00:34:58Six years of cruelty, being called princess like a slur, and yet here I sit in this taxi,
00:35:05watching streetlights strobe across his damaged face,
00:35:08aching with a tenderness that has survived every wound he's ever inflicted.
00:35:13Inside, I flip on the kitchen lights and notice the dark stain spreading across his back.
00:35:18Fresh blood seeping through ruined fabric.
00:35:21You're bleeding again.
00:35:24Sit down.
00:35:26The wound is on your shoulder blade.
00:35:29Unless you've developed the ability to desallocate your arms, you can't reach it?
00:35:35Sit.
00:35:37Down.
00:35:41Let me.
00:35:42His back is a masterpiece of destruction.
00:35:45My hands shake as I clean the wounds.
00:35:47Why do you race?
00:35:49You can't even drive.
00:35:51I can drive fine.
00:35:52I was distracted.
00:35:54Don't move.
00:35:56I know how to pay attention.
00:36:01Speaking of attention,
00:36:02you look cozy with Bennett tonight.
00:36:05We're not talking about Lucas.
00:36:07No?
00:36:09Maybe we should.
00:36:11Did he buy you dinner first?
00:36:13If I didn't know better,
00:36:16I'd think you were jealous.
00:36:18You think this is funny?
00:36:20Finish the damn sentence, Caleb!
00:36:23You're playing with fire, Serena.
00:36:25Good.
00:36:27Maybe Lucas will help me put it out after.
00:36:31Keep talking.
00:36:33See what happens.
00:36:35Lucas wanted to take me home tonight.
00:36:38After the race.
00:36:39He'd be nice, you know?
00:36:41Careful.
00:36:43Everything you're not.
00:36:45Want to know why I crashed?
00:36:49I saw his hands on you.
00:36:53And forgot there was a fucking road.
00:36:56So you're jealous?
00:36:58Don't sound so fucking pleased about it.
00:37:00You have no right to be jealous.
00:37:02Not after everything.
00:37:04I know.
00:37:07Because you were the only beautiful thing I'd ever touched.
00:37:11And I only know how to break beautiful things.
00:37:23Caleb.
00:37:26This is insane.
00:37:29I know.
00:37:31I don't care.
00:37:32Her breath catching.
00:37:33This is where she belongs.
00:37:35In my hands.
00:37:36Under my mouth.
00:37:37Mine.
00:37:38If you want me to stop,
00:37:39say it now.
00:37:40I don't know.
00:37:41But we can't just...
00:37:43Dear you?
00:37:44I should want you to stop.
00:37:46I should hate this.
00:37:49Serena.
00:37:51I've been aroused by you since I was 15.
00:37:53You can read the phone book,
00:37:55but...
00:37:56I need a cold shower.
00:37:58You have no idea what you do to me.
00:38:00Then show me.
00:38:02Stop talking and show me.
00:38:03So I do.
00:38:04The bra is white lace.
00:38:06Simple.
00:38:07Devastating.
00:38:08Not strawberry lingerie.
00:38:11I also have regular underwear, idiot.
00:38:15Thank God.
00:38:17Her breathing has gone shallow,
00:38:19chest rising and falling rapidly.
00:38:21Sensitive?
00:38:24I don't...
00:38:25Every instinct screams at me to take,
00:38:28to claim,
00:38:28to devour.
00:38:29Yet this is Serena,
00:38:31the girl I've destroyed for six years.
00:38:33But I can't stop.
00:38:34So eager for it, aren't you?
00:38:36Who would have thought that a princess could be so lustful?
00:38:40She goes rigid.
00:38:41Fuck.
00:38:42The word princess hangs between us like a blade,
00:38:45sharp with six years of history.
00:38:48Six years of using that word to hurt her,
00:38:51to belittle her,
00:38:52to make her feel small.
00:38:54Serena, I didn't mean...
00:38:56Don't.
00:38:58Just...
00:38:59Don't.
00:39:00It slipped out.
00:39:01Force of habit.
00:39:02I wasn't...
00:39:03I can't.
00:39:05I can't do this.
00:39:07Serena, please.
00:39:08Just wait.
00:39:10I can't look at you now.
00:39:12I can't be near you.
00:39:13Just let me explain.
00:39:16Explain what?
00:39:17That you've hated me for six years,
00:39:19and now you expect me to believe this is real?
00:39:22This is real.
00:39:24This is the only real feeling I've ever felt.
00:39:26Then why?
00:39:28Why did you try to destroy me?
00:39:34One word.
00:39:35One fucking word.
00:39:37And I destroyed everything.
00:39:39His mouth tasted like copper and recklessness,
00:39:42and I'm drowning in both.
00:39:44This was what I've been missing.
00:39:46This heat.
00:39:47This hunger.
00:39:48This feeling of being wanted so desperately.
00:39:51Princess.
00:39:53And my body went rigid.
00:39:54Not from pleasure.
00:39:56From the avalanche of everything he's ever done to me.
00:39:59Crashing through the walls I'd foolishly let him breach.
00:40:02Every insult lands fresh.
00:40:05Serena?
00:40:06Six years of systematic destruction flood back in a single devastating wave.
00:40:11I don't remember mounting the bike.
00:40:13I don't register the roads I take,
00:40:15the turns I make,
00:40:17the darkness swallowing everything beyond my headlights' weak beam.
00:40:20Muscle memory guides me through streets I've traveled a thousand times before.
00:40:25Our spot.
00:40:26Mine and hers.
00:40:27I cry for her.
00:40:29For the mother who should be here.
00:40:30Who should be the one I run to when boys break me open.
00:40:33I cry for the woman I'm becoming.
00:40:35The truth surfaces between sobs.
00:40:38Ugly and undeniable.
00:40:39And impossible to shove back down where it belongs.
00:40:42I want Caleb Thornton.
00:40:44His hands.
00:40:45His mouth.
00:40:46The desperate way he looked at me before I ran away.
00:40:49The admission settles into my chest with the weight of inevitability.
00:40:54I want him.
00:40:55God help me.
00:40:56I want him.
00:40:57And that's exactly why I can't have him.
00:41:00Serena Lakin doesn't crumble for anyone.
00:41:03Least of all the boy who tried hardest to break her.
00:41:07The neighborhood is tomb silent when I finally coast into our driveway.
00:41:12Legs burning from pedaling through streets I barely remember traveling.
00:41:16Both cars sit in their usual spots.
00:41:19Dark and silent like sleeping sentinels.
00:41:22Parents came home while I was falling apart by a lake.
00:41:25And my father had no idea his daughter spent the evening kissing her stepbrother in their kitchen.
00:41:30The stairs creak once beneath my weight.
00:41:33And I freeze.
00:41:34Heart slamming against my ribs.
00:41:36But no bedroom doors open.
00:41:38No concerned voices call out into the darkness.
00:41:41Sleep doesn't come.
00:41:43I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling.
00:41:45Tracing patterns in the shadows that shift each time a car passes on the street below.
00:41:50His hands ghost across my skin in phantom touches I can't shake.
00:41:54The weight of his body between my thighs.
00:41:56The desperate sound of my name in his mouth.
00:42:00Because you were the only beautiful thing I'd ever touched.
00:42:03The confession plays on loop.
00:42:05Wearing grooves into my brain until I can't tell if I'm remembering or inventing.
00:42:10Did he really say that?
00:42:11Did his voice really crack on the words like something inside him was breaking?
00:42:16I pull my pillow over my face and scream into it.
00:42:19Morning arrives with the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
00:42:22I spend 20 minutes rebuilding my face into something presentable.
00:42:26Each brush stroke feels like armor.
00:42:28Layer after layer of pigment between the world and my devastation.
00:42:33You're fine.
00:42:34You're completely fine.
00:42:35My legs feel like they belong to someone else as I descend the stairs.
00:42:40Caleb is already at the breakfast table.
00:42:42His head lifts when I enter.
00:42:44Everything from last night crashes back.
00:42:47His mouth.
00:42:47His hands.
00:42:48His confession.
00:42:49My retreat.
00:42:50I look away first.
00:42:51The coffee pot becomes my entire focus as I pour with hands that refuse to steady.
00:42:59Good morning, sweetheart.
00:43:01You look tired.
00:43:02Late night studying.
00:43:04Something like that.
00:43:05I have some wonderful news.
00:43:07I ran into Richard Bennett at the club yesterday.
00:43:10And he mentioned that Lucas has been spending quite a bit of time with you lately.
00:43:18I have to say I was delighted to hear it.
00:43:21Lucas seems like a wonderful young man.
00:43:24Richard and Patricia raised him well.
00:43:27Lucas is nice.
00:43:30More than nice, apparently.
00:43:32Richard seemed to think things were progressing rather well between you two.
00:43:36And I must say, I wholeheartedly approve.
00:43:40The Bennetts are good people, Serena.
00:43:43Solid values, excellent future prospects.
00:43:47The kind of foundation any father would want for his daughter.
00:43:51Nothing's progressing.
00:43:54We're just friends, Dad.
00:43:58For now.
00:44:00I'm just so glad you're spending time with the right people.
00:44:03Quality connections are important, honey.
00:44:08I have somewhere to be.
00:44:15Well, I wonder what's gotten into him this morning.
00:44:19Young men.
00:44:21Probably some athletic commitment he forgot about until now.
00:44:28My phone buzzes against my thigh.
00:44:30The screen illuminates with Lucas's name.
00:44:33And I almost laugh at the cosmic timing of it all.
00:44:36The universe has a sick sense of humor.
00:44:39I should say no.
00:44:40I should create distance from everything.
00:44:43Lucas.
00:44:44Caleb.
00:44:44The entire tangled mess I've made of my carefully ordered existence.
00:44:49Getting closer to Lucas means watching Caleb's face harden every time we're in the same room.
00:44:54My thumbs hover over the keyboard for a long moment.
00:44:57Me.
00:44:58Me.
00:44:59Sure.
00:44:59Because maybe normal is exactly what I need right now.
00:45:03Drowning looks different when you're doing it on dry land.
00:45:07Here's what I'm currently juggling.
00:45:09A faceless stranger who took my virginity and vanished into a sea of identical skeleton masks.
00:45:15A stepbrother whose mouth I can still taste when I close my eyes.
00:45:19No matter how many times I brush my teeth or child in coffee.
00:45:24The library has become my bunker.
00:45:26My fortress.
00:45:27My carefully constructed excuse to avoid every space where Caleb might appear.
00:45:32The complicated part that keeps me awake at night.
00:45:35I don't entirely regret it.
00:45:37You look like someone ran over your cat.
00:45:40Resurrected it.
00:45:41And ran it over again.
00:45:42Thanks for that vivid imagery.
00:45:44Really appreciate the poetry you've blessed me with today.
00:45:48I'm being serious right now, Serena.
00:45:50You've been weird for days.
00:45:51And don't think I haven't noticed every single red flag you're waving.
00:45:56That's complete bullshit and you know it.
00:45:59You maintain your GPA in your sleep.
00:46:01Is this about the mystery guy from the race?
00:46:04Did something happen that night?
00:46:06I don't know what you're talking about, Mia.
00:46:09Oh, come on.
00:46:09Don't insult my intelligence.
00:46:11I saw your face that Monday.
00:46:14Even if something did happen, I wouldn't know how to explain it without sounding completely unhinged.
00:46:18Some things are too tangled to put into words.
00:46:21Try me.
00:46:22I've heard worse things than you can possibly imagine.
00:46:25My older sister once confessed to sleeping with her professor.
00:46:28And I kept that secret through two Thanksgivings and a family reunion.
00:46:32It's complicated.
00:46:34Complicated usually means interesting, in my experience.
00:46:37The messiest situations always make the best stories afterward.
00:46:40This isn't a story I want to tell anyone, ever.
00:46:44This is a disaster.
00:46:46Fine, I won't push you today.
00:46:48But I'm here when you're ready to spill everything.
00:47:00He took this while he was inside me, while I kept my eyes shut.
00:47:05Every tall frame, every athletic build makes me wonder with nauseating intensity.
00:47:10Was it you?
00:47:14You look incredible tonight.
00:47:16That blouse is perfect on you.
00:47:19Thank you for bringing me here.
00:47:20It's beautiful.
00:47:22Only the best for you, Serena.
00:47:25The words should make my heart flutter.
00:47:27But my mind keeps drifting to that photo on my phone.
00:47:30Who took it?
00:47:31What do they want from me?
00:47:33Is this blackmail waiting to detonate?
00:47:35Or a warning shot across my bow?
00:47:37The professor sounds like some kind of weirdo.
00:47:39Did he actually throw chalk at that guy?
00:47:42Allegedly.
00:47:44The kid deserved it, though.
00:47:46Remind me never to fall asleep in your classes.
00:47:50Serena, you seem really distracted tonight.
00:47:54Sorry.
00:47:56Just school stress weighing on me.
00:47:58Anything I could help with?
00:48:00Can you tell me why my stepbrother makes me feel more alive in fury than you do in kindness?
00:48:06No.
00:48:07But thank you for asking.
00:48:14I had a really great time tonight.
00:48:16Me too.
00:48:23You should go, Bennett.
00:48:25Now.
00:48:26I was just saying goodnight to Serena, man.
00:48:28And now you're leaving.
00:48:31Immediately.
00:48:33Okay.
00:48:33I'll call you tomorrow, Serena.
00:48:34Goodnight.
00:48:40This roast chicken is truly excellent.
00:48:43Yes.
00:48:44It goes perfectly with the wine.
00:48:46The hospital charity gala is next weekend.
00:48:48I was thinking Serena should attend.
00:48:50Wonderful idea.
00:48:52The Bennets will be there, too.
00:48:54Lucas could introduce you to some partners at his father's firm.
00:48:58Networking is so important at your age.
00:49:01Perfect opportunity to wear that lovely dress we bought last month.
00:49:04Of course.
00:49:06Sure.
00:49:07I'll go with Lucas.
00:49:09May I be excused at an early morning?
00:49:12Of course, sweetheart.
00:49:13Is everything all right?
00:49:14Okay.
00:49:15Everything is perfect.
00:49:20Sorry, I...
00:49:21Well, young people in their moods, I guess.
00:49:26He's probably just tired from training.
00:49:28The season is demanding.
00:49:30When did this happen?
00:49:31When did Caleb Thornton's opinions start mattering more than my own piece?
00:49:43We need to talk.
00:49:45Fascinating opener.
00:49:46The answer's still no.
00:49:48Get out.
00:49:49Lucas isn't what he seems.
00:49:52You need to stay away from him.
00:49:53Oh, this is rich.
00:49:55You're giving me relationship advice now?
00:49:57You, of all people?
00:49:59This isn't about us, Serena.
00:50:01This is about him.
00:50:03There is no us, Caleb.
00:50:04There's you, trespassing in my room, running your mouth about things that don't concern you.
00:50:11You kissed him tonight.
00:50:13I did a lot of things tonight.
00:50:15Breathing.
00:50:16Blinking.
00:50:16Walking upright.
00:50:18Should I run those by you, too, or just the ones involving other men's mouths?
00:50:21On our doorstep.
00:50:23Ten feet from where I was standing.
00:50:25Proximity bothers you now?
00:50:28That's new.
00:50:29You've never had trouble performing with an audience before.
00:50:32Careful, Serena.
00:50:34Or what?
00:50:35You'll make my life miserable?
00:50:37Breaking news.
00:50:38You've been doing that since middle school.
00:50:40I'm immune.
00:50:41You're not immune to anything.
00:50:43Your pulse is jumping in your throat right now.
00:50:47I can see it from here.
00:50:49That's called hatred, Caleb.
00:50:50Search it.
00:50:51Hatred doesn't make your pupils dilate.
00:50:54Hatred doesn't make you breathe like you've been running.
00:50:57Maybe I'm allergic to bullshit.
00:50:59You're certainly giving off enough of it.
00:51:01Then why haven't you screamed for Daddy yet?
00:51:03I don't need my father to handle you.
00:51:06No?
00:51:06Then handle me yourself.
00:51:08Put your hands on my chest and shove me out that door.
00:51:16What's the holdup, princess?
00:51:18Princess, all that righteous anger and you can't even touch me long enough to push me away.
00:51:22Don't call me that.
00:51:24Touch me and I'll stop.
00:51:25You're terrified.
00:51:27Not of me.
00:51:29Of what happens when you stop pretending you don't want this.
00:51:32The only thing I want is for you to choke on your own ego.
00:51:36Liar.
00:51:37Your whole body's shaking.
00:51:39You're so wound up you can barely stand.
00:51:42You are delusional.
00:51:44Then prove it.
00:51:46Tell me to leave.
00:51:48Mean it.
00:51:48Why are you in my face again?
00:51:51What do you want from me?
00:52:02Come on, princess.
00:52:05Tell me how much you hate me now.
00:52:07I hate, I hate you.
00:52:10Again.
00:52:11Make me believe it this time.
00:52:15Caleb.
00:52:18Every pathetic dream I've tortured myself with dissolves into nothing compared to the weight of her body pressed against mine.
00:52:26Somehow we migrate to my room.
00:52:31You're shaking.
00:52:33No, I'm not.
00:52:40Caleb.
00:52:42Your hands are literally trembling.
00:52:44Shut up.
00:52:46I'm just saying.
00:52:47You want to analyze this?
00:52:49Write a thesis about my scizy logical responses?
00:52:54Or do you want me to make you forget how to form sentences?
00:52:57That's what I thought.
00:52:58I'm not a virgin anymore.
00:53:01That doesn't mean it won't hurt the second time.
00:53:04We don't have to do this.
00:53:06If you've changed your mind.
00:53:09I haven't changed my fucking mind.
00:53:12I just...
00:53:14I need you to be sure.
00:53:16Why?
00:53:17Because I'm not a complete bastard.
00:53:20Despite popular opinion.
00:53:22Caleb, I want this.
00:53:23I want you.
00:53:26Tell me if it hurts.
00:53:29I mean it, Serena.
00:53:30One word and I stop.
00:53:35Your turn.
00:53:36Slow down.
00:53:37You've been telling me to shut up and take what I want for years.
00:53:42Now you want me to be patient?
00:53:44Now I want to take my time.
00:53:47I want to learn every inch of you.
00:53:49I want to hear every sound you make.
00:53:52I want to remember this when I'm old and broken and you've moved on to someone who deserves you.
00:53:57Caleb, you're staring.
00:53:59Don't hide from me.
00:54:00Not now.
00:54:02It's embarrassing.
00:54:03You're perfect.
00:54:05You've always been perfect.
00:54:06And I've hated you for it.
00:54:07Hated how much I wanted you.
00:54:09Hated that you made me feel things I couldn't control.
00:54:19Caleb, what are you doing?
00:54:29Caleb, we go slow.
00:54:36I'll stop whenever you say.
00:54:42Caleb, please.
00:54:45Please what?
00:54:46I need you.
00:54:48Please, I need you inside me.
00:54:57Her taste, salt and sweetness, as I drag my mouth down her throat.
00:55:03I've dreamed about this since my first fumbling experiences taught me what bodies could do together.
00:55:09Backseats of cars with girls whose names blurred by morning.
00:55:13Dorm rooms and parties and encounters that meant nothing beyond temporary release.
00:55:19None of them mattered because they weren't her.
00:55:23God.
00:55:24Tell me, but we're real close.
00:55:26This line we cross, nobody more.
00:55:30Forbidden fruit.
00:55:32Don't pray, don't cry.
00:55:35Just let me drown in your alibi.
00:55:39What if we stop pretending?
00:55:43What if we just give in?
00:55:51The warmth pressed against my body, tangible and real.
00:56:02How long have you been awake?
00:56:05It's a while.
00:56:06You talk in your sleep, you know that?
00:56:11Very entertaining.
00:56:13Right, something about constitutional amendments.
00:56:16And a certain Professor Henderson.
00:56:19Oh, God.
00:56:21Please tell me you're lying.
00:56:23I liked it best when you muttered something about colored markers.
00:56:26Very sexy bedtime talk, Lincoln.
00:56:30You're unbearable.
00:56:32And yet you're here.
00:56:34Still in my bed.
00:56:37The morning is just beginning.
00:56:39Give me time.
00:56:41Take all the time you want.
00:56:43I'm not going anywhere.
00:56:49I should probably go get ready.
00:56:53The gala is tonight, and I need to...
00:56:56A gala evening?
00:56:57Yes, the charity event our parents have been discussing for weeks.
00:57:01Catherine mentioned it at dinner last night, remember?
00:57:04The hospital foundation thing?
00:57:05The whole point of last night was that you don't go with him.
00:57:09Last night had no point.
00:57:11Last night was a mistake.
00:57:12A mistake.
00:57:14That's what you're calling it?
00:57:15What else would I possibly call it, Caleb?
00:57:18You were screaming my name four hours ago, and now it's a mistake?
00:57:21Lower your voice before someone hears.
00:57:26You let Lucas kiss you on our doorstep.
00:57:29You're going to this gala on his arm tonight.
00:57:33Parading around like nothing happened between us.
00:57:36And?
00:57:37What happens in my life is none of your concern.
00:57:40And I'm supposed to be fine with that?
00:57:43After everything that happened between us last night?
00:57:45You don't get to be anything about my choices.
00:57:50This doesn't give you rights over me.
00:57:53Then...
00:57:54What the hell does it give me, Serena?
00:57:57I need to go.
00:57:59Step away.
00:58:04You're really going to pretend this means nothing?
00:58:06I'm not pretending anything.
00:58:10Liar.
00:58:11I know what you felt.
00:58:14Let me go, Caleb.
00:58:16I can't watch you with him.
00:58:19I can't watch him touch you, knowing what we...
00:58:22Knowing how you...
00:58:24But before I can respond, his slam on the closet makes us both look at the carpet.
00:58:29And my whole world turns upside down.
00:58:34I can explain.
00:58:39Serena, please.
00:58:41Just let me explain what happened.
00:58:43You.
00:58:44It was you.
00:58:46Yes, but it's not yoked.
00:58:48You took my virginity.
00:58:51You knew exactly who I was.
00:58:53And you let me think I was with someone else.
00:58:55I didn't plan it.
00:58:56I saw you with Lucas.
00:58:57Followed because I was jealous.
00:58:59And then you took my hand and...
00:59:00And you just went along with it?
00:59:02You let me believe I was with someone else the entire time we were in that room?
00:59:06You thought you were with Lucas.
00:59:07You wanted him, not me.
00:59:09What was I supposed to do?
00:59:10Correct you, mid-sduction.
00:59:11Yes.
00:59:12That's what a decent person would do, Caleb.
00:59:15I'm not a decent human being.
00:59:17I've never claimed to be.
00:59:19And the message?
00:59:21The photo someone sent to my phone last week?
00:59:23That was me.
00:59:26I sent to...
00:59:27You photographed me without my consent and then used it to threaten me?
00:59:31It wasn't a threat.
00:59:32It was...
00:59:32I was trying to make you stay away from Lucas.
00:59:35I panicked.
00:59:36I blackmailing me?
00:59:38That was your brilliant plan?
00:59:40You kept spending time with him.
00:59:42And I couldn't just tell you the truth without...
00:59:45Without what?
00:59:46Admitting you'd already violated every boundary that exists between two people?
00:59:50Lucas is not who you think he is.
00:59:53That's what I've been trying to tell you all this time.
00:59:56Oh, this should be good.
00:59:57Please enlighten me about who Lucas is.
00:59:59He's dangerous, Serena.
01:00:02There are things about him you don't know.
01:00:04Things you conveniently couldn't mention until after you'd slept with me twice and gotten caught in your own web of
01:00:09lies?
01:00:09The timing looks suspicious, I know.
01:00:12But I'm telling you the truth right now.
01:00:14The truth?
01:00:15You don't know what that word means, Caleb.
01:00:17You wouldn't recognize truth that introduced itself with a handshake.
01:00:20Serena, wait.
01:00:22You have to listen to me about this.
01:00:26I don't have to do what you say.
01:00:28Lucas hurt someone.
01:00:30Back in high school, there was a girl at a party after everyone else had left.
01:00:34She is the reason we stopped being friends.
01:00:38And you expect me to believe this convenient revelation right now after everything you've just admitted?
01:00:44It's not convenient.
01:00:45It's relevant.
01:00:47Everything I've done has been to protect you from him.
01:00:50Are you lying to me?
01:00:52This is sickening, Caleb.
01:00:54I know what it looks like.
01:00:56But all I did was because I...
01:00:58Was because you're a manipulative bastard?
01:01:03Last night you told me it might hurt the second time.
01:01:06You knew it was only my second time because you were my first.
01:01:10Serena.
01:01:10Don't.
01:01:11Don't say my name like that.
01:01:13You can't seem offended right now.
01:01:16And going.
01:01:18Don't follow me.
01:01:19Please don't do this.
01:01:21It's not like that, Serena.
01:01:23So how do I do it?
01:01:27You're exactly the villain I always knew you were.
01:01:30I just forgot for a few hours.
01:01:36And the party tonight?
01:01:38Are you still going with him despite everything I just told you?
01:01:42Your word means nothing to me anymore.
01:01:46This is such a beautiful event.
01:01:49It really is.
01:01:50Cheers to that.
01:01:51Charity galas exist so rich people can feel generous while drinking champagne that costs more than my textbooks.
01:01:58You look stunning.
01:02:00Every man in this room is jealous of me right now.
01:02:03Flattery will get you everywhere, Bennett.
01:02:06That's what I'm counting on.
01:02:09You two look absolutely lovely together.
01:02:11Like something from a magazine spread, honestly.
01:02:16The Bennetts raised a fine young man.
01:02:18I couldn't be happier about you two spending time together.
01:02:22Thank you, sir.
01:02:24Serena makes it easy to be a gentleman.
01:02:37Do you want to dance?
01:02:39I wouldn't want anything more.
01:02:44My father's partner wanted to meet you.
01:02:46He's been asking about my mysterious pre-law girlfriend all evening.
01:02:49I'm not your girlfriend.
01:02:52Every interaction only reveals more kindness.
01:02:55More evidence that Caleb lied.
01:02:58Enjoying yourself, princess?
01:02:59Don't call me that.
01:03:01Playing dress-up with Bennett looks exhausting.
01:03:04Blue suits you, though.
01:03:06Your mother would have approved.
01:03:08Is there something you need, Thornton?
01:03:10It's like it now, actually.
01:03:12Didn't you hear?
01:03:13We're one big happy family these days.
01:03:16Just making conversation with my stepister.
01:03:19Family obligation.
01:03:21You understand.
01:03:22Funny how you only remember family obligations when it's convenient.
01:03:26Some of us remember when you couldn't spell the word.
01:03:28And some of us remember things we probably shouldn't talk about in charity galas.
01:03:33Right, Bennett?
01:03:34Wouldn't want to ruin the evening with ancient history.
01:03:37You're drunk.
01:03:39Maybe you should find some water in a quiet corner.
01:03:42Maybe you should worry less about my hydration.
01:03:45And more about your own glass house.
01:03:48Stones hurt when they come back around, don't they?
01:03:52Only we're actually just leaving.
01:03:53Excuse us.
01:04:04I didn't know you smoked.
01:04:08There's a lot you don't know about me.
01:04:10Though I suppose that cuts both ways now, doesn't it?
01:04:14You've been avoiding me all night, Serena.
01:04:17I really like the gala.
01:04:19It's not all about you, Caleb.
01:04:21No?
01:04:23Then why do you look for me in every room you enter?
01:04:25I don't...
01:04:29You do.
01:04:31You've been watching me all night while pretending not to.
01:04:33And I've been watching you pretend.
01:04:42Does Lucas know?
01:04:44Know what?
01:04:46That you're only with him because of me.
01:04:49You're delusional.
01:04:51I chose Lucas because he's everything you're not.
01:04:56And what exactly am I not?
01:04:59Honest.
01:05:00Attentive.
01:05:02Capable of basic human decency without ulterior motives attached.
01:05:05Sounds like a golden retriever.
01:05:09Very exciting.
01:05:10Excitement isn't everything, Caleb.
01:05:13Some of us prefer stability over chaos.
01:05:16You don't want stability.
01:05:18You want to feel safe.
01:05:20Want what terrifies you.
01:05:22What terrifies me is your complete inability to take responsibility for anything you've done.
01:05:29I've taken responsibility.
01:05:32I told you the truth about Bennett.
01:05:34About Halloween.
01:05:36About the photo.
01:05:37About all of it.
01:05:38After I discovered the mask in your closet.
01:05:41That's not a confession.
01:05:42That's damage control.
01:05:43And yet here you are.
01:05:46Alone with me on a balcony instead of inside with your puppy.
01:05:49I came out here for air.
01:05:52Not for you.
01:05:53Keep telling yourself that.
01:05:57That's a great story.
01:05:59I remember the first time I saw the play.
01:06:06Excuse me for a moment.
01:06:10There you are.
01:06:11I've been looking everywhere for you.
01:06:15Just getting some air.
01:06:17The ballroom was getting stuffy.
01:06:19I can imagine.
01:06:21Caleb.
01:06:23Still here?
01:06:24Just leaving.
01:06:25The view got less interesting.
01:06:28I want to hurt him the way he hurt me.
01:06:31I want him to watch and suffer.
01:06:34Lucas.
01:06:36Serena?
01:06:56What was that for?
01:06:58I just wanted to.
01:07:03I'm not complaining.
01:07:05Feel free to want that anytime.
01:07:07We should go back inside.
01:07:10People will talk.
01:07:12Let them.
01:07:21Funny how memory works.
01:07:23My traitorous mind has other plans.
01:07:25Circling Caleb's face like a vulture over Carrion.
01:07:29Devastated doesn't cover it.
01:07:31He looked destroyed.
01:07:32The foundation cracked and walls collapsed.
01:07:35I tell myself this is what I wanted.
01:07:38Punishment.
01:07:39So why does victory taste like ash coating my tongue?
01:07:43The clock reads three in the morning.
01:07:46But even in dreams, I can't escape the blue of his eyes.
01:07:49Right before they went hollow.
01:07:52Lucas and I build something in the spaces between obligations, coffee shops where baristas know our orders, library corners we've
01:08:01claimed as territory.
01:08:06His roommates scatter when I arrive, mumbling excuses that sound rehearsed.
01:08:11They're just awkward around new people.
01:08:16He seems genuine.
01:08:18Which either means he is, or he's very good at pretending.
01:08:22That's true, Charion.
01:08:24I'm a realist, not a cheerleader.
01:08:28But your other friends like him.
01:08:30So there's that.
01:08:31They do like him.
01:08:32The easy charm.
01:08:34The remembered details.
01:08:35The way he makes everyone feel important.
01:08:37I should be grateful for the consensus.
01:08:40Instead, I find myself cataloging inconsistencies, like evidence for a trial I haven't decided to hold.
01:08:47His smile doesn't always reach his eyes, especially when he thinks I'm not watching.
01:08:51Caleb watches us across campus, with the dedication of someone memorizing a crime scene.
01:08:58He doesn't approach, doesn't speak, doesn't acknowledge my existence beyond those burning blue eyes, tracking my movements.
01:09:05Every time our gazes collide, my chest constricts with an ache I refuse to name.
01:09:11I look away first, because looking longer feels like confession.
01:09:15The parade of girls through his bedroom has stopped, or at least the volume has dropped to silence.
01:09:24The parade of girls through his bedroom has stopped, or at least the volume has stopped, or at least the
01:09:27volume has stopped, or at least the volume has stopped.
01:09:28You okay?
01:09:31Fine.
01:09:32What happened between you two?
01:09:34Ancient history, Serena.
01:09:37It doesn't matter anymore.
01:09:39Clearly it does.
01:09:40You can't even look at his car without going full statue.
01:09:44We were kids.
01:09:46People grow apart.
01:09:47That's not an answer.
01:09:49And you know it.
01:09:51It was just high school drama.
01:09:54Stuka teenage stuff.
01:09:56What kind of stupid teenage stuff?
01:09:58Did you steal his book?
01:10:01Beat him at lacrosse tryouts?
01:10:04Nothing like that.
01:10:07Then what?
01:10:09Was there a girl involved?
01:10:13Maybe.
01:10:15But it's complicated.
01:10:17Complicated how?
01:10:20What?
01:10:21You two couldn't share her or something.
01:10:24There was a girl.
01:10:26Her name was Rachel.
01:10:28And things just...
01:10:30got messy.
01:10:35Anyway...
01:10:35What are your Thanksgiving plans?
01:10:38My parents have been asking about you.
01:10:41I let him redirect.
01:10:42Let him kiss my cheek and walk away.
01:10:44Let the questions settle heavy in my chest.
01:10:48Rachel.
01:10:49A girl.
01:10:50Things got messy.
01:10:52The name circles my mind.
01:10:54Three hours disappear into the black hole of social media stalking.
01:10:58Rachel Weaver emerges from the digital excavation around midnight.
01:11:03I scroll back through years.
01:11:05Junior prom.
01:11:06Three years ago.
01:11:08Caleb on her left.
01:11:09Lucas on her right.
01:11:11Whatever broke them apart
01:11:12started with this girl in the blue dress.
01:11:16Whatever truth Caleb tried to tell me
01:11:18has roots I'm only beginning to trace.
01:11:21I open a new message window
01:11:22before doubt can intervene.
01:11:24The cursor blinks.
01:11:26Patient and waiting.
01:11:27I start typing.
Comments

Recommended