#video #The Miniature Wife S01E01-2 (2026)
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00:00:06this is a love story love it's supposed to be patient and kind but let's be honest it's
00:00:16irrational it can make us crazy and sometimes downright insane i should know my husband made
00:00:25me small no it's not a metaphor he made me six inches tall i'm literally the size of a dry
00:00:42martini
00:00:43shaken stirred and nursing the burn of every sip
00:00:50even at our ugliest i still believe our love's worth fighting for
00:00:57but fair warning it's going to get worse before it gets better to us to us
00:01:13to recapturing magic to the journey not the destination and to dr carmichael couples
00:01:20therapist extraordinaire to her words of wisdom it's speaking of the journey it was bumpy
00:01:29yeah a few bottles yeah yeah checked into separate rooms um but i am working through
00:01:36my narcissistic tendencies and i am working on my accountability issues and here we are
00:01:43we made it got to the next stop dr carmichael's new year new us colon a grand gesture i'd like
00:01:51to go
00:01:52first okay great i've arranged to get the vermont gang back together at the gray house on new year's
00:02:05eve for our anniversary so we can renew our vows new year new us i'm speechless we were so happy
00:02:17there
00:02:20really really are gary and mack gonna be there they're giving up cabo lulu our daughter has not
00:02:26returned my call oh she's 18 she will they don't do phones always send a text okay okay my turn
00:02:32okay
00:02:33this will be the last christmas that we spend in st louis because i have listed our house with the
00:02:41contingency to run it back from the bio through next december i am going to land this big fish and
00:02:46tomorrow i'm going to get elvin smith to bankroll the final stage of my life's work so that in one
00:02:51year lindy we can move back to the gray house permanently like i promised years ago clean slate
00:02:59and a fresh start i supported you and you got your prize and all i ask is that for one
00:03:06more year you
00:03:07support me so i can get mine are you serious
00:03:11yes the listing went up today
00:03:19is this real very
00:03:29i love you lindy i love you too
00:03:42thank you thank you thank you for inviting me back into our bed
00:04:09how does one solve the problem
00:04:12the problem of feeding the world only less little john knows now what if we could take say
00:04:19an ear of corn and shrink it to a fraction of its original size just imagine a farmer could grow
00:04:26ten
00:04:27a hundred a thousand ears of corn in the space it takes to grow one but how does cellular reduction
00:04:34work
00:04:35work my revolutionary molecular transformation process fundamentally changes the distance between
00:04:42atoms oh the real question is can you restore the corn cob to regular size after it's been miniaturized
00:04:48not only can we do it we will do it together hilton smith we can make more with less and
00:04:55that's l e s
00:04:59i'll take it from here less okay
00:05:05now it's time to blow your minds
00:05:12you call this the mini barn card no one calls it that okay it's just me see i grew up
00:05:18on a farm
00:05:19you call this
00:05:48in the future.
00:06:03I am
00:06:05fucking amazed!
00:06:08It's a corner, it's a truck.
00:06:10Look how tiny it is. It's being tiny.
00:06:12It's incredible. I got you.
00:06:14You did. You really did.
00:06:15That's crazy.
00:06:17Oh, it amazed me again.
00:06:19Make it big. I want to taste it.
00:06:23Oh, a big
00:06:23coin takes a big investment.
00:06:25Oh, there he is. Money man chiming in.
00:06:28Well, go on.
00:06:29You know, Flavor Saver
00:06:30was a huge step forward.
00:06:33It was the first
00:06:35and the best GMO tomato on the market.
00:06:37But it was a failure. Well...
00:06:40No, it wasn't.
00:06:41It was a breakthrough, but it tasted like
00:06:43old Band-Aids. Admit it.
00:06:44No, I don't think I want to.
00:06:48Admit it or I walk.
00:06:50No.
00:06:55Fuck yeah!
00:06:56You should never admit failure.
00:06:58I got you.
00:07:00Yes, you did, Hilton.
00:07:01But this agrotech
00:07:03is going to change the world.
00:07:05Jinx?
00:07:06And just think,
00:07:07this is only the beginning.
00:07:08Sorry, who are you?
00:07:09Vivian, Hilton's chief scientist.
00:07:11I'm the guts.
00:07:12I just write the checks.
00:07:13She's...
00:07:14The brains.
00:07:14And my guts
00:07:15never make mistakes.
00:07:17I mean, I would write you a check
00:07:19right now.
00:07:21But for some reason,
00:07:23I'm just not feeling
00:07:25yummy in my tummy.
00:07:29You.
00:07:30Me?
00:07:31Who are you?
00:07:33Is this a true question?
00:07:34I don't know. Is it?
00:07:36Well, who are you?
00:07:38I'm awesome.
00:07:39I'm Hilton.
00:07:40Well, I'm awesome.
00:07:41I'm less.
00:07:44Yeah, I'm going to need more.
00:07:53You like it?
00:07:55Yeah, I'm going to lose my house.
00:07:56I'm going to lose my house.
00:08:13Hey.
00:08:15Hey.
00:08:16Uh, something quietly revealed itself to me.
00:08:20Oh? What's that?
00:08:21Maria's staff pick.
00:08:23My Rainbow Starts With Black.
00:08:25It's a Pulitzer Prize winning novel.
00:08:27By the one, the only,
00:08:30Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
00:08:32That's a lifetime ago.
00:08:34Uh-uh.
00:08:3518 years and still a fan fave?
00:08:37Listen, Richie.
00:08:39Um, we need to talk.
00:08:42Uh-oh.
00:08:43No.
00:08:44Yeah.
00:08:45No, we've just begun.
00:08:47Richie.
00:08:48Hold on.
00:08:48This is just the first act,
00:08:50and not turn this into a tragedy.
00:08:52Tragedy's a better story.
00:08:54Oh, I wish they had a section
00:08:57on how to repair an emotional affair.
00:08:59Listen, you really saw me
00:09:02when I needed it the most.
00:09:03I do.
00:09:04Yeah, and...
00:09:06And you really gave me
00:09:07that emotional intimacy
00:09:08that I craved, you know?
00:09:10Mm-hmm.
00:09:11You were a great shoulder.
00:09:13An ear.
00:09:14Mm-hmm.
00:09:14You're so handsome.
00:09:16Young.
00:09:17Smart.
00:09:18Oh, stop it.
00:09:19And maybe in another life, but...
00:09:21But I fell in love.
00:09:24And you?
00:09:26I fell in Les.
00:09:27Hell yes.
00:09:28Yeah.
00:09:28Why?
00:09:30Les knows the real me.
00:09:32The worst of me.
00:09:33And he...
00:09:34He still loves me.
00:09:36I could love the worst of you.
00:09:37No.
00:09:38He has 20 years on you,
00:09:39and you've known me, like, a few months.
00:09:41Six and a half.
00:09:43Les?
00:09:45He made a grand gesture,
00:09:46and he promised me a fresh start,
00:09:49and I believe him.
00:09:51Why?
00:09:52No, no, no.
00:09:53Actually, don't say.
00:09:54Love should remain a mystery.
00:09:58My mom told me that.
00:10:00Okay.
00:10:01I'm gonna go.
00:10:01Just...
00:10:02Wait, wait, wait.
00:10:03This...
00:10:04Oh, God, no, no.
00:10:04I got you this Christmas present.
00:10:06I absolutely cannot accept this.
00:10:08You must.
00:10:08No, I am not.
00:10:08It means our love was in vain.
00:10:10Shh, shh, not love.
00:10:11Okay, just open the card first.
00:10:14There is no need to thank me.
00:10:16Okay?
00:10:17Okay.
00:10:31Merry Christmas, my love.
00:10:33In anticipation of the new year,
00:10:36new you and new us,
00:10:37I thought this would be a great start.
00:10:39Open the present.
00:10:41I'll wait.
00:10:52I hate this rag.
00:10:53I know you hate this rag,
00:10:55but I knew you'd never send it in yourself.
00:10:58Give it a quick read.
00:10:59See if you recognize it.
00:11:02Oh, Richie.
00:11:04No, no, no, no.
00:11:05What have you done?
00:11:06I pretend it to be your book agent.
00:11:08Your story is going to be in the New Yorker.
00:11:12No.
00:11:13I didn't write this.
00:11:15I'm fucked.
00:11:16I know it's overwhelming,
00:11:18and I'm sure you don't.
00:11:19Oh, fuck.
00:11:20Richie.
00:11:22No, no, no.
00:11:23Oh, my fuck.
00:11:25Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:11:26Oh, bitch, pick up.
00:11:28Pick up.
00:11:28Hi, this is Terry.
00:11:29Leave a message.
00:11:30Terry.
00:11:31Oh, fuck.
00:11:32Okay.
00:11:32There is a story.
00:11:34There's a story in the New Yorker with my name on it,
00:11:36and I need you to call me back.
00:11:38This is an emergency.
00:11:39For serious this time, call me back.
00:11:42Fuck.
00:11:44Fuck.
00:11:53Hmm?
00:11:53Shut the door.
00:11:55Why?
00:11:55I want to raise my voice.
00:11:58Jesus, jumping crackers.
00:11:59Why would you invite Hilton to your charity event at your home tonight?
00:12:05Because he wants to know who I am.
00:12:06But Lindy will be there.
00:12:08And?
00:12:08I'm sorry.
00:12:09Am I the only one that remembers last year,
00:12:11the silent auction, the pool incident,
00:12:14and you're still serving alcohol this year, right?
00:12:16Count me out.
00:12:17I'm sorry.
00:12:18I cannot watch.
00:12:21I don't think that my heart or my stomach
00:12:24can tolerate another interaction with him.
00:12:27But we are broke.
00:12:29And here's all we have.
00:12:31There are no more interested investors less
00:12:34with Hilton's kind of cash.
00:12:36You know what?
00:12:37Lindy and I are fine now.
00:12:38We're good, even.
00:12:40And we're renewing our vows.
00:12:41New year, new...
00:12:42New us!
00:12:42Yes, you said that last year.
00:12:44This year, it's going to stick.
00:12:45You sleeping in the same bed?
00:12:46Yes.
00:12:47Just sleeping?
00:12:48Sleeping plus.
00:12:50Big plus?
00:12:51Small plus.
00:12:52It feels so much better if it was big.
00:12:54We're on the road to big.
00:12:55I promise you.
00:12:56Um, okay.
00:12:58Lindy, it's me.
00:12:59It's me calling you.
00:13:01Um, I'm not panicking,
00:13:02but just call me back before the party, okay?
00:13:04It's not an emergency,
00:13:05but it's an emergency.
00:13:06Oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry, sir.
00:13:07Um, my, uh, my polyp is gone.
00:13:10Yeah, but there's a hole in my heart now.
00:13:12Sounds like a case for the Bard's Guard.
00:13:14So I'll be unable to attend your party this evening.
00:13:17I'm lost.
00:13:17Good luck, Richard.
00:13:19Good luck, Richard.
00:13:23Good luck, Richard.
00:13:42You're not Jackie.
00:13:43I'm Hill.
00:13:44Don't make me raise it.
00:13:45Who are you?
00:13:46I'm Professor Littlejohn.
00:13:47Jackie's professor.
00:13:48Did she leave for break already?
00:13:49Have I missed her?
00:13:50I hope not, because I'm her fucking ride.
00:13:53Jackie!
00:13:54Professor Littlejohn.
00:13:55Yeah, Lindy.
00:13:56You should call me Lindy.
00:13:57Oh, uh, hell, uh, Professor Littlejohn is the reason that I'm here.
00:14:02Oh, you wrote that book she loves.
00:14:04I didn't read it.
00:14:05No offense.
00:14:06None taken.
00:14:07Jackie, I'm so glad I caught you.
00:14:09Can we talk?
00:14:10Yeah.
00:14:11Just real quick.
00:14:12Oh, you mean without me?
00:14:13I do.
00:14:14Oh.
00:14:14Is it okay?
00:14:15Oh, yeah.
00:14:15A bit rude.
00:14:16No offense, but sure.
00:14:18Okay.
00:14:18Let's just have a...
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:22Um, have I done something wrong, Professor Littlejohn?
00:14:25Oh, no, no.
00:14:26Gosh, no.
00:14:27No, I have.
00:14:28I have.
00:14:30I, um...
00:14:32I need to tell you something.
00:14:34Uh...
00:14:37I loved your short story.
00:14:41Untitled on Purpose.
00:14:42Oh, yeah, that's the one.
00:14:43Yeah, I loved it.
00:14:44It was brilliant.
00:14:45The prose was incisive.
00:14:47Oh, just the voice.
00:14:49Fresh.
00:14:49Distinguished.
00:14:50Rare.
00:14:51One that deserves the attention of the New York literati.
00:14:57I mean, that means the world to me, Professor Littlejohn.
00:15:01And it's almost Christmas, and you're at my door complimenting my work.
00:15:04I...
00:15:04Oh, my gosh.
00:15:04I couldn't ask for a better day.
00:15:05Okay, listen to me.
00:15:06Listen to me.
00:15:07Yes?
00:15:07You need to turn it into a novel right now.
00:15:12Now?
00:15:13Really?
00:15:14Really now.
00:15:15Mm-hmm.
00:15:15Um, I guess I could get started over the break.
00:15:19No, you need to take next semester off and just write.
00:15:21The whole semester.
00:15:24The whole semester.
00:15:24You just want to isolate and write.
00:15:27While it's fresh, while it's here, while Untitled on Purpose is coursing through you, right?
00:15:33Yes, yes, I feel it.
00:15:33Okay, so you need to isolate and write.
00:15:35Uh, no distractions, no internet, no novels, no magazines, no, uh, nothing.
00:15:41No, nothing.
00:15:41Right?
00:15:41Nothing.
00:15:42And just all winter long, a very room of one's own.
00:15:45Right.
00:15:45Wolf it.
00:15:46Right, wolf it.
00:15:47Could you do that?
00:15:48Yes.
00:15:48Well, well, how's dad?
00:15:50My Uncle Flip, he has a cabin back in Montana that's super...
00:15:53Isolated.
00:15:54Ah!
00:15:54Well, then, pond, isolated.
00:15:55That's perfect.
00:15:56Right?
00:15:56Yes, Jackie.
00:15:57Yeah.
00:15:59This has the potential to be your...
00:16:02My rainbow starts with black?
00:16:04No, Professor Littlejohn, it, it couldn't.
00:16:07Jackie, I should know.
00:16:10My goal in life is to just write one, one great novel like you.
00:16:16So we're agreed.
00:16:19You're going to isolate and write.
00:16:20Yes.
00:16:20All semester.
00:16:21All semester.
00:16:22You're going to Montana.
00:16:23Yes.
00:16:24Remember, no magazines, right?
00:16:25No, you don't want any?
00:16:26Uh-uh.
00:16:27Just turn off the internet.
00:16:29Okay?
00:16:30I will unplug completely.
00:16:31Yes!
00:16:32Okay, hey, Merry Christmas.
00:16:34Merry Christmas to you, too.
00:16:40Okay.
00:16:41Thanks.
00:16:42That's...
00:16:43I don't want to sit right here.
00:16:48Oh, my God.
00:16:50Oh, my God.
00:16:51Oh, my God.
00:16:53Oh, my God.
00:16:53Oh, my God.
00:16:53Oh, my God.
00:16:55Oh, my God.
00:16:59Oh, my God.
00:17:01Terry, thank Christ.
00:17:02Okay, listen, I...
00:17:03Billy, I have ten minutes.
00:17:05Blindsiding me with one short story published in the New Yorker over the last two decades
00:17:08gets you one.
00:17:09The fact that we've been friends for more than 20 years gets you another.
00:17:12And the other eight belong to Gillian Flynn, who continues to publish bestsellers,
00:17:16which bought me a classic six off the park.
00:17:19I didn't write the story.
00:17:20I didn't write the story.
00:17:20It's my students' work.
00:17:24My ex-emotional lover, long story.
00:17:28He found the fucking story in my bag and thought it was mine, and why would I correct him, you
00:17:32know?
00:17:33He sent it in without my knowledge on my behalf, because he, long story, adored me, and thought I was
00:17:41capable of writing something great again.
00:17:42I'm taking a sabbatical from Wash U.
00:17:45I'm headed to the gray house.
00:17:46Les and I are going to renew our vows.
00:17:48Long story.
00:17:49You're invited.
00:17:50I know you hate him.
00:17:51I did, too.
00:17:52But he is a good dad, and I'm committed to committing to my marriage.
00:17:57So, I cannot handle this shitstorm right now, which is sure, by the way, to tarnish your reputation as well.
00:18:05So, if you want to keep that classic six, then can you please, please fix this fucking mess so I
00:18:12can focus on my vows and my marriage like I promised?
00:18:15I hate you.
00:18:17I know.
00:18:18I hate me, too.
00:18:21No, you're not allowed to thank me.
00:18:28Oliver!
00:18:47Les has been calling.
00:18:48I've been texting.
00:18:49And I have been busy.
00:18:51Les needs you on best behavior tonight.
00:18:53Hilton Smith is attending.
00:18:55Condescending as always, Starla.
00:18:57And who?
00:18:58Necessary, and he is a big investor.
00:19:00You know.
00:19:01I thought the cover was on the pool last year.
00:19:03Right?
00:19:03You know that.
00:19:04Great!
00:19:05You already picked up the first frame to me.
00:19:06I did.
00:19:06Yep.
00:19:07It's locked.
00:19:08I know.
00:19:10Is this another party protest?
00:19:11No.
00:19:12Hilton is here in five.
00:19:13Isabella.
00:19:14Your dress is upstairs.
00:19:15I need you inside.
00:19:15Now.
00:19:16What dress?
00:19:17Les had me assess your wardrobe situation.
00:19:19And we both agreed that the only option was to outsource an upgrade.
00:19:22Insulting?
00:19:24And what if I hate it?
00:19:25Your futures are on the line.
00:19:27He said to me, quote,
00:19:29No new year knew us without new money.
00:19:31Unquote.
00:19:32So please, just move.
00:19:34Get out of the car.
00:19:36Now.
00:19:37Goodbye, Starla.
00:19:39I will have the valet physically remove you.
00:19:43I need a minute.
00:19:46One minute.
00:19:49You need a Hulk out front?
00:19:51Stat.
00:20:19Come on.
00:20:20Tell me what Les is working on.
00:20:21This is the cover of Scientific American.
00:20:24He tells me nothing.
00:20:25Yes.
00:20:26Mm-hmm.
00:20:27And you never ask.
00:20:28Bullshit.
00:20:29I've been through that same quote from you ten times over the years.
00:20:32All I'll say is first rule of Fight Club.
00:20:35Land.
00:20:36And outdated.
00:20:37Just like Scientific American.
00:20:49Vodka dry.
00:20:55Huh.
00:20:58Oh, thank you.
00:21:07Big Red has landed.
00:21:10Where's Lindy?
00:21:11I need eyes on Lady Tornado.
00:21:13Helton?
00:21:13Give me a 20 on Deep Pockets.
00:21:16Double negative.
00:21:17Big Red is not happy.
00:21:18I know amazing style when I see it.
00:21:21Oh.
00:21:22This is a facade.
00:21:24Oh, well, the facade is working.
00:21:26Mm.
00:21:27I'm teetering on the precipice of being outed as a fraud.
00:21:32Which I probably deserve.
00:21:34I'm supposed to be the supportive wife.
00:21:38But, uh, my career going up in flames is banging around my brain.
00:21:42That's all I can hear.
00:21:43What does your husband think about that?
00:21:45Oh, he has no clue.
00:21:47He's a fraud, too.
00:21:49Is that so?
00:21:52Welcome, everyone.
00:21:55Uh, every year, um, I say I'm going to keep it short and that this night is not about me.
00:22:00It's about the children.
00:22:02And tonight, I'm actually going to keep that promise.
00:22:04But, you know, let's be honest.
00:22:06Um, it has to be about me first because you're all here to bid on my stuff.
00:22:11Well, he's just playing the role of a charitable philanthropist.
00:22:17But all he really cares about is his life's work.
00:22:20First, himself second, our daughter third, and me last.
00:22:24Which I probably deserve.
00:22:26Well, just curious.
00:22:27What do you think about his life's work?
00:22:30And a very personal little ditty about Jack and Diane.
00:22:34My John Cougar Mellencamp Velcro wallet with my high school ID still inside.
00:22:40Huh?
00:22:41Where else are you going to get one of those?
00:22:43I can't tell you that.
00:22:46It's so top secret, actually.
00:22:48I have no idea what it is.
00:22:49Huh.
00:22:50Hold on a second.
00:22:50My top elf is really trying to tell me something.
00:22:53Maybe tomato on the brand of Deepak is two drinks and third on deck.
00:22:57You're fucking joking or you're fucking fired?
00:22:59I'll turn to my headset.
00:23:03But I can tell you, he's brilliant.
00:23:08Don't tell him I said that.
00:23:11Yeah.
00:23:11I mean, I'm already last.
00:23:13You know, what's after last?
00:23:16Not much.
00:23:17So, yeah.
00:23:18Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
00:23:21And hopefully that covers it all.
00:23:24Okay.
00:23:26What?
00:23:27Five minutes.
00:23:27No.
00:23:28Two.
00:23:28One.
00:23:28Later.
00:23:29Maybe.
00:23:29Done.
00:23:30Oh, everybody was out.
00:23:31Stop.
00:23:32Stop.
00:23:32Stop.
00:23:32No, no.
00:23:32I'm just explaining to this gentleman why there's no outdoor access this holiday season.
00:23:36So, as a joke, last year, I put into the silent auction.
00:23:40As a joke, watch Almighty Les walk on water.
00:23:44I thought the cover was on the pool.
00:23:46Oh.
00:23:46It was out.
00:23:47I'm so sorry.
00:23:48You get it.
00:23:49Kelton, I'm so sorry.
00:23:50I just want to say I'm so sorry.
00:23:51Well, I pay right now to see that.
00:23:54Awesome Les.
00:23:55If you can walk on water, you got my money.
00:23:58Are you being serious?
00:24:00No.
00:24:00No.
00:24:01Oh, great.
00:24:02So, I can still get the money?
00:24:04After the conversation with your wife, I don't know.
00:24:09Hi, Hilton.
00:24:10I didn't know.
00:24:10Okay, Lindy, why don't you just not say anything and maybe go and get us a lot of drinks?
00:24:16Okay, so, Hilton, I don't know what she said.
00:24:18Well, she said that you put work first, family third, and her dead last.
00:24:22That's out of context.
00:24:24What kind of man are you?
00:24:25I know.
00:24:26No, I just, I can't explain.
00:24:27I can't explain.
00:24:29Oh, my God.
00:24:31You never explain anything.
00:24:33I got you.
00:24:34Again.
00:24:35Again.
00:24:36You suck at it.
00:24:37I do, I do, I do.
00:24:38So, just to be clear, Lindy didn't tank the deal.
00:24:40She closed it.
00:24:42Now she's awesome.
00:24:44Workaholics, they changed the world.
00:24:46I'm a workaholic.
00:24:47I should know.
00:24:49Thank you so much.
00:24:50Thank you so much.
00:24:51I want to go to work right away.
00:24:52Like, fuck the holidays.
00:24:53Yeah, I put it on my Christmas card every year.
00:24:55Yeah, you really see me.
00:24:57We both do.
00:24:58Oh, it's you again.
00:24:59Hilton's chief scientist.
00:25:01Oh, the brains.
00:25:02And the boots.
00:25:03The boots?
00:25:03The boots on the ground.
00:25:04What do the boots do?
00:25:05The boots ensure that my guts are never wrong.
00:25:09The boots are part of the deal.
00:25:12I'm all in.
00:25:13Are you?
00:25:14Awesome.
00:25:14Bless.
00:25:21Fine, just tell me.
00:25:23I'm melting down.
00:25:25Because I fucked the deal.
00:25:26No, I closed the deal.
00:25:27I closed the deal.
00:25:28Fantastic.
00:25:29No.
00:25:30What do you mean no?
00:25:30That's so great.
00:25:32Oh my God, I was so worried.
00:25:34No, no.
00:25:34Now, I am saddled with one of Hilton's network of bio spies.
00:25:38His chief scientist is going to come in, and she's going to take credit for my work,
00:25:42and all of this will have been for nothing.
00:25:44I will be nothing.
00:25:45My legacy will be nothing.
00:25:47I shall go to the grave without a Nobel.
00:25:48You know, this was my last chance at greatness.
00:25:53God.
00:25:54Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on, you remember Joan Ryan?
00:26:03Huh?
00:26:04Yeah, my nemesis at MIT.
00:26:06That's right.
00:26:07You were convinced that the PhD board was going to pick her over you, and you were going to
00:26:13be relegated to just a footnote in the science community, or some other science bad thing,
00:26:17right?
00:26:18But what actually happened, Les?
00:26:21They chose me.
00:26:23They chose you.
00:26:25And where's Joan Ryan?
00:26:27Teaching at Berkeley.
00:26:30And where are you?
00:26:32In St. Louis.
00:26:34But why?
00:26:34Oh, uh, to give the finger to those ungrateful pricks at Monsanto, and to build the Menlo Park
00:26:41of the Midwest.
00:26:42And how?
00:26:43How?
00:26:43Because I am a partner in my own company, creating the bio-agrotech that will change the world.
00:26:48That's right.
00:26:48Yeah.
00:26:48You're going to change the world.
00:26:52And you are.
00:26:54I've always believed that.
00:26:56Even when you hated me?
00:26:57Oh.
00:27:00Especially when I hated you.
00:27:02So what do I do?
00:27:04You do what you always do.
00:27:06You get back in the workshop, and you figure it out.
00:27:11That's what Les Littlejohn does.
00:27:14Yeah.
00:27:14Right?
00:27:15Yeah.
00:27:16Right.
00:27:17Okay.
00:27:20That's it.
00:27:22That's it.
00:27:23Thank you, Liddy.
00:27:24Thank you for being so understanding.
00:27:27Oh, God.
00:27:29So now I've got to get back in the workshop.
00:27:31And let's move our renewing our vows to next year.
00:27:34That's a fantastic idea.
00:27:35Les, no, I didn't.
00:27:36What?
00:27:37Huh?
00:27:37That's what you said, right?
00:27:39Huh?
00:27:40Did I?
00:27:41Yeah.
00:27:42Gary and Meg.
00:27:43Oh, Gary and Meg would much prefer to go to Cabo.
00:27:45Let's send them something.
00:27:46Sign my name.
00:27:46No, no, no.
00:27:47That will be so humiliating.
00:27:48Don't worry.
00:27:49Don't worry.
00:27:49I'll tell Lulu that she can just go skiing with her friends like she wanted.
00:27:51So I'll see you when I see you.
00:27:53I'll be back when I'm back.
00:27:53And I love you.
00:27:55And I can't wait for New Year.
00:27:57New us next year.
00:27:58Mwah.
00:28:05They're f***ing out.
00:28:08Is he f***ing kidding me?
00:28:12Are you f***ing out?
00:28:41a Christmas miracle. Yeah, I'm gonna go to Vermont.
00:28:43I'm gonna go to the Grey House, and
00:28:45I, um, could you
00:28:47come with me? Where you finished
00:28:49your masterpiece. I'd be
00:28:51honored to be invited. A gift beyond measure.
00:28:53I have ten vacation days
00:28:55and one personal day bagged, and
00:28:57heart emoji.
00:28:59Let's meet at Mandy's
00:29:01diner at midnight. Heart emoji bag.
00:29:03I'll arrive with joy in my
00:29:05step and a light in my heart.
00:29:07Did you love my present?
00:29:08Fuck! Pardon?
00:29:09Yeah, I
00:29:12didn't have the
00:29:14heart to open it, so, um, I'll just
00:29:16bring it with me, okay?
00:29:18New year, new you,
00:29:20new us. Oh, is Vermont cold?
00:29:22I can...
00:29:43everybody out in thirty minutes, or Hulk is gonna see me smash.
00:29:49Iceberg ahead,
00:29:50thirty clicks. Abandoned ship.
00:29:52Lady Tomato about to burst.
00:29:53Hey, hey, hey!
00:29:55Les promised me a minute.
00:29:59I'll give you twenty.
00:30:01Twenty.
00:30:06Twenty.
00:30:06Twenty.
00:30:06Twenty.
00:30:09Twenty.
00:30:18Excuse me.
00:30:19I thought the boots up my ass might start after the holidays.
00:30:23Martin signed the LOI ASAP, and Hilton turned on the money hose in good faith.
00:30:27I didn't sign. I'm a partner.
00:30:29Apparently not the important one.
00:30:33Well, now I'm inspired, and I would like you to leave.
00:30:37A genius needs his space.
00:30:40Exactly.
00:30:41And I plan on being inspired throughout the holidays.
00:30:44I know this is a difficult transition period.
00:30:46I'll give you tonight.
00:30:48But I will be back tomorrow.
00:30:52Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:30:57Fuck me.
00:31:35Bills, I don't have time.
00:31:39She what?
00:31:46Bills, I don't have time.
00:32:02You're old. Text me.
00:32:09Fuck you, too.
00:32:14Starla?
00:32:25Les?
00:32:25Freezers off limits from now on until I say I need to regroup.
00:32:29Where are you going?
00:32:31I'm leaving you.
00:32:33If anyone should be leaving anyone, I should be leaving you.
00:32:35How's that?
00:32:36For trying to sabotage my career?
00:32:38Think I don't know?
00:32:39You don't think Nils would call me for comment, Lindy?
00:32:42Scientific American, not TMZ.
00:32:44I'm a hoax.
00:32:45I'm threatened by a female scientist taking credit for my work.
00:32:48You mentioned Joan.
00:32:50I'm not a misogynist.
00:32:52I'm not intentionally.
00:32:53If anything, I'm an accidental misogynist.
00:32:55And I, too, blame the patriarchy for that.
00:32:57I never said misogynist.
00:32:59Why would you do this?
00:33:00Why?
00:33:00You don't know why.
00:33:02Is it about Gary and Meg?
00:33:04This is about you and our marriage and breaking the promise of step three, colon, a grand gesture
00:33:11and our daughter who hates me sucking the life out of me and my promising writing career.
00:33:17Career stop!
00:33:19It was one book in the early aughts!
00:33:22This is what you did.
00:33:23You basically, you turned in a book report on your fucked up family, you changed the names, you added a
00:33:28little bit of wry sarcasm, and then you called it fiction and you got lucky.
00:33:32My rainbow starts with black.
00:33:34No shit.
00:33:35My book report and the subsequent Oscar-nominated film it's based on bought and paid for this extravagantly sad McMansion
00:33:45in this podunk red state town you forced us to move to so that you could try to be something
00:33:50other than Mr. Fucking Tomato Head.
00:33:53This is the last thing I need right now.
00:33:55Oh my god.
00:33:56I'm so sorry.
00:33:57What is it you need right now?
00:33:59I need you.
00:34:00Yeah.
00:34:00I need your support.
00:34:02This is my last chance.
00:34:04You already got your prize.
00:34:06And, in case you forgot, I was by your side for every fucking sentence.
00:34:12Every book signing, every interview, I held your purse, I held my tongue, you know, I was there for the
00:34:18ride.
00:34:18And it wasn't always pleasant.
00:34:20You know, the rollercoaster of insecurity and emotion was frankly fucking exhausting.
00:34:24I have paid that debt.
00:34:26I have been by your side for 15 years.
00:34:29You had Flavor Saver and it was insufferable.
00:34:36Still is.
00:34:37But I didn't get my moment in the spotlight like you did.
00:34:40I didn't get my prize.
00:34:42Swing and a miss.
00:34:43How is it my fault?
00:34:46How?
00:34:47My apologies.
00:34:49Forgive me for being ambitious.
00:34:50Coasting by on a one-hit wonder isn't enough for me.
00:34:54Maybe you don't have another hit in you.
00:34:56Huh?
00:34:56Maybe you're one and done.
00:34:58Maybe your ego just won't let you read the room.
00:35:00I would rather be blinded by my ego than paralyzed by fear.
00:35:04That's me?
00:35:04That's what you think of me?
00:35:05Yeah, because you haven't produced one goddamn sentence in 15 years.
00:35:09What kind of magic do you think you're suddenly going to find in your beloved gray house, huh?
00:35:13With me by your side, like an emotional support animal, encouraging you, keeping you calm because, quote,
00:35:19I promise we'd return there one day, unquote.
00:35:21I mean, I am through being held emotionally hostage for your creative paralysis.
00:35:27And there it is, everyone.
00:35:30That's our show.
00:35:32Same line every time.
00:35:40This is the top secret thing you've been working on?
00:35:44Give me that.
00:35:45Give me that.
00:35:45A Tonka truck is not going to change the world, let alone agriculture as we know it.
00:35:51You have no idea what you're talking about.
00:35:52This is what you said to every female scientist that's ever had a better idea.
00:35:55You know, most men overcompensate with a big truck.
00:35:59It's nice to see yours to scale.
00:36:07What a gentleman.
00:36:08Oh, fuck.
00:36:10What?
00:36:11Oh, no, Lindy.
00:36:13What?
00:36:15What'd you do?
00:36:31Oh, God, is she dead?
00:36:39Lindy.
00:36:41Say something.
00:36:42Are you alive?
00:36:44Oh, you're alive!
00:36:48Fuck no!
00:36:50Fuck you!
00:37:07Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight.
00:37:27Last...
00:37:28Oh, fuck.
00:37:33Oh, fuck.
00:37:36What's inside of me, is that...
00:37:40Oh, shit.
00:37:45Oh, my God.
00:37:59How much did I drink last night?
00:38:02Less?
00:38:07Why would you put the plaid back up?
00:38:09Oh, it's my eyes.
00:38:14And my head.
00:38:19Oh, I'll try January starts today.
00:38:24Oh, wow.
00:38:28That really cleaned up.
00:38:32Less?
00:38:38Who's at the door?
00:38:51What is this nonsense?
00:39:01No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:03Lindy?
00:39:04Everything is fine.
00:39:06Don't reach out.
00:39:16Lindy?
00:39:17No, no, no.
00:39:20Okay, I'm opening up the draw house.
00:39:23Stop screaming at me!
00:39:46There you are!
00:39:49You're okay!
00:39:53I am not okay!
00:39:57Can you hear me? I am not okay!
00:40:06I am not okay!
00:40:08It works! I can hear you!
00:40:10You're too loud!
00:40:12Sorry.
00:40:13Well, now I can't hear you!
00:40:15How about now?
00:40:16No, too loud!
00:40:18Now?
00:40:18No!
00:40:19Softer!
00:40:20No!
00:40:21Better!
00:40:22I hate this fucking thing!
00:40:27Can you hear me now?
00:40:29Say again.
00:40:30Can you hear me now?
00:40:31Yes!
00:40:32Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry.
00:40:35Are you okay?
00:40:36I'm fine!
00:40:37I heard that.
00:40:38I think we got it.
00:40:41Hi.
00:40:42What the fuck, Les?
00:40:44I heard that too.
00:40:46Loud and clear.
00:40:47Okay?
00:40:48Mindy, I'm so sorry.
00:40:49It was an accident.
00:40:50And, uh, I can't believe it even happened.
00:40:53I, I, I, I, but you're incredible.
00:40:55I mean, you're beautiful.
00:41:01Are you smiling right now?
00:41:04No, no, no.
00:41:05No, of course not.
00:41:06I, I just, I...
00:41:08I just like, wow.
00:41:12Wow.
00:41:13Wow?
00:41:14Wow!
00:41:15No, I apologize.
00:41:16You're my wife.
00:41:16You're not experimenting.
00:41:18I should hope so!
00:41:20Jesus oh my god this is your job this how you're gonna solve world hunger you're gonna make
00:41:27everybody tiny so so they don't what eat more I don't do you want me to answer that or
00:41:34explain it to me well um it's called cellular reduction and um it's the process of miniaturization
00:41:42and restoration of organic fruit and vegetables and that's how I plan to solve world hunger
00:41:50explain how you're gonna make me big again jesus I don't give a shit how it works oh right well
00:41:55I
00:41:56just reversed the process that's the restoration part great restore me now please I can do that
00:42:05um uh but first uh a surprise meet me in the dining room
00:42:14Merry Christmas Lindy Les do I look merry or hungry well it's kind of hard to tell from this distance
00:42:22um
00:42:22I'm not make me big again now heard that loud and clear um the thing is tell me you can
00:42:30make me big
00:42:31again last I can and I will um the thing is that it's just I think it's just gonna take
00:42:37a day uh or
00:42:38two tops but you'll be fine everything's gonna be okay you're healthy I checked your vitals
00:42:44wait I could die tiny no you you're not gonna die tiny you'll be safe in the dollhouse because it's
00:42:53almost exactly the same as our house house um the stove works the refrigerator works there's food
00:43:00the water runs and I shrunk a few of your favorite things to really make you feel at home home
00:43:06your
00:43:07clothes from your closet um and uh this curling thing
00:43:16and your hairbrush uh cold cream looked important oh and I remembered your coffee and the coffee maker
00:43:25worked perfectly right oh one crucial thing um the toilet uh it works I figured it out just don't ever
00:43:32look in the hall closet downstairs ever you will be restored to regular size I promise it this is
00:43:38just temporary Lindy I am so close truly now it's so close not a day or two tops less you
00:43:49mother
00:43:50fucker hey calm calm down calm fucking down
00:44:18fucker hey lady I'm gonna need a minute
00:44:25I don't want to be little
00:44:42you can you can you can refilm the ladies cup too she's on her way for it she's gone back
00:44:50to her
00:44:50husband no they always do not this time no no because we've got plans yep we got concrete plans
00:45:01how about a 10-day getaway to Vermont for two uber romantic
00:45:08there are multiple reasons you could be late no I know Lindy's coming why you may ask
00:45:21um
00:45:22love story is woven into the fabric of time destined to be written immortalized for generations to come
00:45:33quiet everybody please quiet please sorry oh it's work
00:45:41hey martin well i you know i was i was gonna head out of town so no no no no
00:45:49no of course
00:45:50of course i'll just i'll head into the into the lab no i've not heard from us wait what do
00:45:59you mean
00:45:59you can't get a hold of them yeah okay bye does this mean your romantic getaway is cancelled
00:46:07barbara can i be honest i love your service but i don't love the negative energy
00:46:14oh he's suffering
00:46:21take those off i feel like a specimen and come closer i don't want to keep yelling
00:46:30jesus the 96. if there was ever a time i know why you didn't tell me about your work
00:46:37well i couldn't it was top secret i signed an ironclad nda it's bullshit you didn't trust me
00:46:45which makes me so sad makes me so sad
00:46:52fuck you but yeah
00:46:59well i didn't exactly hide it from you either what happy birthday lindy
00:47:08they are so cute wait and legible happy birthday lindy
00:47:24how cute and accurate the dent from when i side swiped the mailbox
00:47:33never put it together you also said you didn't want to know
00:47:39well you're not leaving me well i have to go so i can fix you no no no less take
00:47:45me with you
00:47:46i'm portable you will be safer here in the dollhouse i feel very not safe i feel very
00:47:51small and like something bad could happen i won't let something happen something did something else
00:47:57beyond the accident but i have to go to the lab so i can fix you please i do not
00:48:02want to be alone
00:48:03please i'm scared well what if i can show you that um being small isn't scary oh god i've always
00:48:10wondered what the world would look like if i were six inches tall not me i can show you no
00:48:16i i don't
00:48:18aren't you just a little bit curious i will be restored to regular size soon i promise trust me
00:48:29okay okay this is crazy
00:48:34oh my god
00:48:39oh
00:48:43oh
00:49:09i mean everything's really big
00:49:15oh
00:49:28wow i can only imagine how different everything looks right
00:49:33you see this dust ball
00:49:37do you think i could choke on this oh yeah put that down
00:49:44hello dolores look who it is see she's not that scary why is she looking at me like that
00:49:51oh oh it's puffing do you see what it's doing no no no it's trying to eat me no this
00:49:58is not
00:50:08interesting to me
00:50:10fun right we all love a train ride
00:50:17merry christmas
00:50:19merry christmas
00:50:30merry christmas
00:50:39Merry Christmas to me!
00:50:46Merry Christmas, Wendy!
00:50:49Maybe too many times around?
00:50:51I want to get out!
00:50:53I don't want to eat.
00:50:55Oh, I'm going to be sick.
00:50:59Oh, God.
00:51:03Oh, my God.
00:51:07It's going to be okay.
00:51:09I'm so sorry this happened.
00:51:12So incredibly sorry.
00:51:24Water truck ran out of shrinking gas.
00:51:26I'm going to go to the lab to refuel.
00:51:27What am I supposed to do with this?
00:51:30I thought I could crush it up and you could maybe snort it, but I don't know.
00:51:34Um, Scarface?
00:51:35I'll just gnaw on it or something.
00:51:41Who are you feeling?
00:51:43Really?
00:51:44I mean...
00:51:45I know what you mean.
00:51:47Better.
00:51:50I did always love this couch.
00:52:06When you're ready.
00:52:07Uh, pour away.
00:52:13Don't be shy.
00:52:16So, this is my, uh...
00:52:20Tiny little life now?
00:52:22Temporary tiny life.
00:52:23How long again?
00:52:24A day.
00:52:26Two at the most.
00:52:26I'm so close.
00:52:27So close.
00:52:28Yeah.
00:52:29Yeah.
00:52:34Did you microwave this off the floor?
00:52:36Floor is clean.
00:52:37You're the first person to ever walk on it.
00:52:40Six inch tall Neil fucking Armstrong?
00:52:42Kind of.
00:52:51Less you put parmesan in the potatoes.
00:52:54Potatoes a la Diane.
00:52:57With a twist.
00:52:59Who?
00:53:00Reese Witherspoon from Legally Blonde.
00:53:02She's gonna play me in the movie.
00:53:04She's gonna play the sister character.
00:53:06I still don't know who that is.
00:53:07Walt?
00:53:08She's blonde, wears pink, goes to Harvard.
00:53:11That's a stretch.
00:53:12What?
00:53:12I am blonde.
00:53:14Less said that we could be twins.
00:53:16I'm sure he's just being kind.
00:53:18No, no, I think with the bright hair and makeup, you know Hollywood, I mean...
00:53:21It's beyond me why they're even adapting a book into a film.
00:53:24Because it sold a million copies, because it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:28Hollywood must be out of ideas.
00:53:31You're not excited?
00:53:32Uh, Laura Dern is playing the mother.
00:53:34I adore Laura Dern, but I question her judgment.
00:53:38The book wasn't well received.
00:53:39I repeat, it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:41The Guardian dubbed it literary popcorn and added,
00:53:44that does not a Pulitzer make their words.
00:53:46Which she memorized and repeat constantly.
00:53:49I can barely show my face at Wine Club Wednesday without Carol turning her nose up at me as if
00:53:55I were the devil incarnate.
00:53:57Walt?
00:53:57Your mother needs your Wine Club Wednesdays.
00:54:00That's not a stretch.
00:54:01Mom.
00:54:02It's fiction.
00:54:03Carol didn't see a character.
00:54:06Carol saw me, and the me in your book is a monster.
00:54:09It's a comedy.
00:54:10It's a dark comedy.
00:54:11A coming of age story about a woman who felt abandoned and silenced by a monster of a mother character.
00:54:20You try being a single mother of two young girls whose husband walked out one day without a word.
00:54:28Walked out or was driven away?
00:54:29Jim abandoned me.
00:54:31No, he stopped being married to you.
00:54:34He abandoned me.
00:54:36Me too.
00:54:37And he's still the hero.
00:54:39I tried my best.
00:54:42Walt?
00:54:42Uh, if I may.
00:54:43Uh, Walt.
00:54:44Diane, have you tried the potatoes?
00:54:46I call them potatoes a la Diane, with a twist.
00:54:50Is the twist a turn of the knife?
00:54:52It's Parmesan cheese.
00:54:53Try it.
00:55:00It's too rich, but absolutely divine.
00:55:03Just like you.
00:55:09Walt.
00:55:10Sorry.
00:55:11I think we should visit the arch tomorrow.
00:55:13I hear it's dreadful.
00:55:16Yes.
00:55:17Yes.
00:55:17You know, I don't get the arch.
00:55:19It's like an arch for what?
00:55:21It's the gateway to the west.
00:55:24I think it's great.
00:55:25I can barely show my face on wine club Wednesdays.
00:55:30Hollywood has run out of ideas.
00:55:32I think Laura Dern is very generous casting.
00:55:34I have to say hello.
00:55:40What's going on?
00:55:41Do you want to have sex?
00:55:42Oh, yes.
00:55:43Yes, please.
00:55:43We're here.
00:55:45Yeah, we'll be quiet.
00:55:46We'll be fine.
00:55:47Oh, alright.
00:55:47You're set to high volume.
00:55:50Watch.
00:55:51Watch.
00:55:51Watch.
00:55:54Okay.
00:55:55Okay.
00:55:55Good.
00:56:10Good.
00:56:11Good.
00:56:13Good.
00:56:14Good.
00:56:19Good.
00:56:24Oh!
00:56:25Oh, fuck!
00:56:26Jesus!
00:56:26Whoa!
00:56:27Can I help you?
00:56:29Obviously, this isn't the washroom.
00:56:31It's down the hall with the light on.
00:56:33The one with the toilet!
00:56:34I can see the light.
00:56:41He's trying to escape.
00:56:50Oh, fuck.
00:56:51Okay, okay.
00:56:53Maybe I can't be quiet.
00:56:55I don't think you can.
00:56:58Hey.
00:57:02What?
00:57:03I'm not really like her though, right?
00:57:06My mother...
00:57:07I'm not like Diane, am I?
00:57:09Does that make me Walt?
00:57:12Seriously, no.
00:57:12Seriously?
00:57:13Seriously?
00:57:14Seriously?
00:57:16No.
00:57:17Fuck no.
00:57:18Because she's...
00:57:19No, she's unbelievable.
00:57:20Not in a good way.
00:57:24It's gonna be okay.
00:57:26It's only a few days.
00:57:31Only a few days.
00:57:37It's only a few days.
00:57:39It's only a few days.
00:58:00It's only a few days.
00:58:10What?
00:58:11What?
00:58:12What?
00:58:13What?
00:58:13What?
00:58:14It can't be right.
00:58:18Okay, I'm coming in.
00:58:19Now.
00:58:21Now-ish.
00:58:22I'll be right back.
00:58:36Let me go.
00:58:45Magoo!
00:58:49Stay!
00:58:51Stay!
00:58:54No! No! No! No!
00:59:00Magoo!
00:59:02Come here!
00:59:05Ow! Fuck! You fuzzy fucker!
00:59:20Stop!
00:59:22Stop it, you're fine!
00:59:24You feel bad enough already.
00:59:29I mean, she's safe, right?
00:59:44Hey!
00:59:47Yes, Richard? What is it?
00:59:49Oh, you seem upset.
00:59:51No, Richard, I'm fine. I'm fine.
00:59:53You know, I sometimes come in my car to cry too when I need a release, so...
00:59:58I get where you're at.
01:00:00Okay, right, is that all?
01:00:01Now you've got me worried.
01:00:03Is everything all right at home?
01:00:04You know, with your wife, Lindy, Lindy's her name, right?
01:00:07Yes, Richard, she's fine.
01:00:08Good, good.
01:00:09Yeah.
01:00:10She's just keeping busy over the holidays.
01:00:13Yes, Richard, she's at home writing.
01:00:15She's keeping busy.
01:00:16She's writing, writing.
01:00:18That's wonderful.
01:00:19That's wonderful.
01:00:20Richard!
01:00:21Get your butt inside!
01:00:22I'm sorry to use profanity.
01:00:24I'm upset.
01:00:27I'll see you later.
01:00:39I'll see you later.
01:00:41Les?
01:00:41Oh!
01:00:43Oh!
01:00:45Oh!
01:00:47That is a toy.
01:00:51Oh.
01:00:53He left me?
01:00:56Right, right.
01:01:00I have to trust him.
01:01:02I cannot spiral.
01:01:05Huh?
01:01:07Oh.
01:01:08Yeah.
01:01:10Why not?
01:01:11Okay, that's it.
01:01:13That's good, space colonel.
01:01:15Colon?
01:01:17Colonel.
01:01:19Colonel.
01:01:20Space colonel.
01:01:22Next stop, Uranus.
01:01:24I could...
01:01:26Fuck, I'm already spiraling.
01:01:28You made me believe you were so close.
01:01:30So I believed you.
01:01:32Yes, and you should believe me.
01:01:33That's our deal.
01:01:34There is mathematical truth in stating I am so close.
01:01:37So what does so close mean to you in this context today?
01:01:42I can't put an actual number on it.
01:01:44I don't know.
01:01:46What?
01:01:48What have you done?
01:01:49What have I done?
01:01:51Martin, I didn't want to say you have one job.
01:01:53Contract is for 30 days.
01:01:56That's insane!
01:01:57Well, you said that you were close!
01:01:5930 days?!
01:02:01Well, it will work.
01:02:03I mean, the math says it will and math is never wrong, so...
01:02:07Now you have 30 days!
01:02:08No, no, no. We have 30 days.
01:02:10Oh, now it's we.
01:02:11What does it say exactly?
01:02:12What does the small print say exactly?
01:02:14It says that we have 30 days to prove that the restoration formula works.
01:02:19Or the patent on our tech...
01:02:22Not my tech, thank you.
01:02:23Reverge to Hilton, and Hilton sues you.
01:02:26Sues us.
01:02:28For fraud.
01:02:29And you go to jail.
01:02:31To jail?
01:02:32Well, can he do that?
01:02:33He can.
01:02:34And after 30 days it goes.
01:02:36The tech, the lab, the bobs, gone.
01:02:41But...
01:02:42Okay, so how do I make...
01:02:45How do I...
01:02:48How do I make things big again?
01:02:49Because I have to make things big again.
01:02:51Well, after 30 days...
01:02:53You can't.
01:02:56This is what he actually said.
01:02:59I mean, can he actually do this?
01:03:00Yes!
01:03:01He can!
01:03:02It says it right here.
01:03:05Oh.
01:03:06Les.
01:03:09How bad is this?
01:03:12Okay.
01:03:17I'm not even going to ask about the cat.
01:03:39I'm not even going to ask about the cat.
01:03:42Anything.
01:03:43Oh.
01:03:43That's...
01:03:44It's okay.
01:03:45I didn't want you.
01:03:48Like what Shakespeare used to write with.
01:03:50You know I like Shakespeare?
01:03:52Oh, everybody knows you like Shakespeare.
01:03:54Bars guard.
01:03:56Well, you talk about it a lot.
01:03:59Um...
01:04:00You seem a little bit down.
01:04:02No, I'm just tired.
01:04:04Yeah.
01:04:05I was waiting up last night for someone.
01:04:09Someone special.
01:04:11You know, and it's just...
01:04:14Oh, Merry.
01:04:15Merry Christmas, Richard.
01:04:16Oh, thank you, Janet.
01:04:18This is a very thoughtful gift, so...
01:04:25Thy returneth to thine grind.
01:04:28Uh-oh.
01:04:36Okay.
01:04:37Buddy?
01:04:40Thank you for moving her.
01:04:49Oh.
01:04:51Right.
01:04:52Okay.
01:04:55Oh, that's good.
01:04:56Okay.
01:05:02Okay.
01:05:03Oh, come on.
01:05:07Okay.
01:05:09Oh, my God.
01:05:14Oh, there we go.
01:05:17Guide.
01:05:22Oh!
01:05:23A classic.
01:05:25GUM!
01:05:30Volume.
01:05:32We're never turning this off.
01:05:35Okay, Sax.
01:05:38So...
01:05:39We've got popcorn.
01:05:43But no candy.
01:05:47Oh, less.
01:05:49That's just for me.
01:05:59Richard.
01:05:59I need everyone at the top of their game today.
01:06:01It's a big day.
01:06:02It could be the day.
01:06:03It needs to be the day.
01:06:04Or two.
01:06:06At the most.
01:06:11Here are my thoughts.
01:06:15Adjust the last line on the Maxwell stress tensor to B sub J.
01:06:19Minus one half times the quantity of epsilon naught.
01:06:23Times E squared plus B squared over mu naught.
01:06:27Thoughts complete.
01:06:28Bob.
01:06:30Implement his thoughts.
01:06:36B sub J minus one half times the quantity of epsilon naught times E squared plus B squared over mu
01:06:44naught.
01:06:45Complete.
01:06:47Carl.
01:06:47Implement his thoughts.
01:06:50B sub J minus one half times E squared plus B squared over mu naught.
01:06:56B sub J minus one half times E squared plus B squared over mu naught.
01:07:29Let's make history.
01:07:31Let's make history.
01:07:45Let's go.
01:08:17A great attempt in the name of science.
01:08:19Richard?
01:08:20Bob the explainer?
01:08:23Nominal success.
01:08:24Subject expanded to regular size for 2.1 seconds.
01:08:28Same as previous attempt.
01:08:30Result, molecular disequilibrium.
01:08:33Razor Bob, see medic.
01:08:34Bring in Fred.
01:08:36Clean up an aisle everywhere.
01:08:38Richard?
01:08:39Waiting on analysis to proceed.
01:08:41We'll adjust based on your thoughts.
01:08:43Go again.
01:08:45No, you won't.
01:08:46If this is your definition of close, we have a big problem.
01:08:50You working in a bubble with your staff and your secrets ends today.
01:08:54Moving forward, everything that happens in this lab will be authorized by me.
01:08:59No.
01:09:00No, no, no, no.
01:09:01Um, this is not how we work here.
01:09:05We are making history.
01:09:06Okay?
01:09:07That corn was regular size.
01:09:10It's incredible.
01:09:11As a scientist, how can you not see that?
01:09:13Reports, equipment results, any spending whatsoever, everything you use must be logged up to and
01:09:19including packets of instant oatmeal in the break room.
01:09:22Can I explain my fiber deficiencies?
01:09:24Okay, everybody, everybody.
01:09:25This is Virginia.
01:09:26Vivian.
01:09:27Vivian.
01:09:27I don't know her last name, but she's new here and she doesn't know how things work.
01:09:31And, Bob, you don't need to worry about your oatmeal.
01:09:33Okay?
01:09:33Can we just talk about this?
01:09:36Martin, you know exactly how much money this science circus is hemorrhaging.
01:09:40I don't care about the money.
01:09:42Of course you don't.
01:09:42You spent seven years and several hundred thousand dollars designing your logo.
01:09:48I had to open the books.
01:09:50Well, it had to be perfect.
01:09:51What?
01:09:52Irresponsible and deeply sad.
01:09:54Dr. Littlejohn, it's no longer your money.
01:09:56It's Hilton Smith's money.
01:09:57This is his lab now, and I run Hilton's lab.
01:10:00Ergo, I run this lab.
01:10:02This is unacceptable, and it's ridiculous, and do something.
01:10:08Okay, no we, no we, just me.
01:10:10I want to talk to Hilton right now.
01:10:13Well, good luck reaching him.
01:10:15He's spending the holidays piloting an experimental submersible off the coast of Guam.
01:10:20Guam?
01:10:21Guam?
01:10:22What?
01:10:23Shut it down.
01:10:24We'll try again tomorrow.
01:10:26Together.
01:10:27These ladders are an OSHA violation.
01:10:30You're an OSHA violation!
01:10:33Dear Harry Jesus!
01:10:35And I hope Hilton gets crushed into ketchup by 400 atmospheres of printer!
01:10:4029 days.
01:10:41Not helpful.
01:10:42Not the point!
01:10:51What have I done?
01:10:59Midnight were the stars and you.
01:11:06Midnight and a rendezvous.
01:11:13Your eyes held a message tender, saying I surrender all my life.
01:11:22Oh, it's my phone.
01:11:25Oh, my phone!
01:11:26Oh, oh!
01:11:30Come here, come here, come here!
01:11:32What?
01:11:43No!
01:11:45No!
01:11:47No!
01:11:49No!
01:11:53No!
01:11:55Oh!
01:12:01No!
01:12:04Fuck, did you just say something?
01:12:12Am I losing my mind?
01:12:19If I can see me in you
01:12:26Do you really?
01:12:27What? Ah, what is that?
01:12:32Oh, fuck
01:12:38I gotta get out of here
01:12:45Oh, fuck
01:12:52Jesus
01:12:55Goddammit, let's
01:12:58For fuck's sake
01:13:03God
01:13:04Dang it
01:13:08Goddammit
01:13:09Goddammit
01:13:10Goddammit
01:13:12vorbei
01:13:13Skrr
01:13:34каждый
01:13:35Ah!
01:13:38Uh!
01:13:44Uh!
01:13:47Ah!
01:13:50Oh!
01:13:52Ah!
01:13:59Ah!
01:14:05Oh, oh, oh.
01:14:10Oh, oh, oh.
01:14:13Oh, oh, oh.
01:14:17What the?
01:14:19Oh, oh.
01:14:22Oh, oh.
01:14:23Oh God, oh God.
01:14:24Oh, oh.
01:14:35I'll save you!
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