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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:19You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell them I hate you who you are?
00:00:32You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:36Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275.
00:00:40Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:42You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:44You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:45Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:56Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:02Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:09In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:11I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:14but on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:16I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it. This isn't public school.
00:01:24Forget your training wheels.
00:01:27At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:41Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop the car!
00:01:44No!
00:01:47I have my knight's special talisman.
00:01:49It's ruined.
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:05Oh my gosh, it's cold.
00:02:06He's so hot.
00:02:11Hey!
00:02:13What is wrong with you?
00:02:15Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:17Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:19What are you with me, son?
00:02:22What are you talking about?
00:02:23Why?
00:02:25I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:27No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:31You just broke something that's really important to me.
00:02:33Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts, buttercup.
00:02:35Okay?
00:02:38You should know that.
00:02:40I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:42You were a...
00:02:46Asshole!
00:02:52All right.
00:02:53I broke something of yours.
00:02:55Sure, but...
00:02:56Hey!
00:02:57You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:08Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:11Have a good day.
00:03:14Don't do it!
00:03:16I got a hot mess, energy.
00:03:19Oh!
00:03:20Oh, fuck!
00:03:24Now we're even.
00:03:26My last thought better not be broken.
00:03:28I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:35You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:38You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:41I'm going to make every classroom,
00:03:45hallway, and every rumor in this school,
00:03:48you're a personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm going to make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:55Now Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:57Yeah, idiot.
00:03:58I can see that.
00:04:00Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:05Same.
00:04:06Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:13Cole, do you need help?
00:04:14I can help you.
00:04:17The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:19This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsey.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Hi.
00:04:31I'm Jen.
00:04:32And this is Lindsey.
00:04:34Hi.
00:04:35I'm Haley.
00:04:36So nice to meet you.
00:04:37You have first day jitters.
00:04:39It's totally understandable.
00:04:40We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:42And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come in.
00:04:45Go there.
00:04:46Let's go.
00:04:50There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:15You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:27What are you, captishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30I'm getting attacked.
00:05:32Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:40Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:57No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, now the queen goes to the school.
00:06:07Please ignore that.
00:06:08Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:11Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmunds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmunds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:24Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:29Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:36Valley Queen?
00:06:39There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:41Could it be...
00:06:42Jen?
00:06:45Ew.
00:06:49Your enemy is our enemy Cole.
00:06:51And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:54No chances, Jen.
00:06:56So is it.
00:06:57She does look kinda cute.
00:07:03It's not true.
00:07:06Please ignore that.
00:07:07Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:10What was I thinking?
00:07:12Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:17Hey there buttercup
00:07:19Keep walking Hayley
00:07:20Just keep walking
00:07:22You got a problem with shaving this morning or?
00:07:25My name's Hayley
00:07:26Well Hayley
00:07:28I think you uh
00:07:30You used to spell on your upper lip right there
00:07:34What a coincidence
00:07:36So did you
00:07:37Oh no
00:07:40Oh I'm sorry
00:07:42I forgot you don't even need shaving cream
00:07:44You're just a man child
00:07:45Follicle issues
00:07:50Whoever ends up with her
00:07:51I must have filled an eye exam
00:08:06I was so relieved to see you
00:08:07Something happened today
00:08:09I lost the game
00:08:10I thought I'd never see you again
00:08:12I think it's time we call this what it is
00:08:15And what is this?
00:08:17What I think it is
00:08:18Is I want to be with you
00:08:20And you want to be with me
00:08:23As more than just friends
00:08:25Oh thank god
00:08:27I honestly want that more than anything
00:08:29You're my soulmate
00:08:30Like I like you so much
00:08:32Okay well since we're dating now
00:08:34Um
00:08:35I'm ready to send my photo
00:08:37Wait really?
00:08:39Yeah
00:08:40Yeah
00:08:41Get ready
00:08:47Okay
00:08:47No face
00:08:49Just the boobs
00:08:51Is it a bad idea?
00:08:53But all my online friends said it's cool
00:08:55PG-13 nudes are harmless
00:08:57All the kids do this
00:08:59You'll love it
00:09:04This lighting hates me
00:09:05Come on Hayley
00:09:07Confidence
00:09:08You literally fight dragons online
00:09:15Okay
00:09:16Yeah
00:09:16That's actually kind of
00:09:18Oh my god
00:09:23Seriously?
00:09:25Hello?
00:09:26Anyone?
00:09:28Don't look at me
00:09:32Don't look at me
00:09:34We're not survivable are we?
00:09:35I don't think you're supposed to do it like that
00:09:37Get out
00:09:38Now
00:09:39Fine
00:09:40Ow
00:09:41Damn it
00:09:46Come on
00:09:47You're
00:10:00You're
00:10:10drap
00:10:11You're
00:10:11I'm
00:10:11Your
00:10:12You're
00:10:12What
00:10:13Two
00:10:16I'm
00:10:19You're helping me.
00:10:21I won't.
00:10:21I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:30Excuse you.
00:10:31These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:33I love a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:34That is shocking.
00:10:36Yeah, actually.
00:10:37And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw you were flirting with me.
00:10:40Flirting?
00:10:40Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:42I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:43My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:44Funny.
00:10:46Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:50Fine by me.
00:10:53Oh, I know.
00:10:56Well, the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:58I like it in a weird way.
00:11:00Not even my type, but, you know, power theory or whatever.
00:11:04Would you just get out of here?
00:11:13Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:17Jen, red alert.
00:11:19Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:21I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:26Don't be a coward.
00:11:27Just send it.
00:11:28Jen.
00:11:32Oh, my God.
00:11:35Here goes nothing.
00:11:43Still no response?
00:11:45Don't freak out.
00:11:45He's probably just busy.
00:11:50Give it back.
00:11:51Why?
00:11:52You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:55Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:57Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:12:00Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:12:01Mm-hmm.
00:12:02Got it.
00:12:05What are you doing?
00:12:08What are you doing?
00:12:36What's going on?
00:12:37Dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:39What?
00:12:39Yeah.
00:12:54Come on.
00:12:56Let's see if these goods are Photoshopped.
00:13:00Stop.
00:13:01Delete it, please.
00:13:01Delete it.
00:13:02Ships, chips, chips, chips, chips, chips, chips, chips, chips, chips.
00:13:13Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:15I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:21Oh, my God.
00:13:23Oh, cool.
00:13:24Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:26Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:33No.
00:13:34You said no.
00:13:34No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:36Fix, fix, fix, fix.
00:13:39Fix, fix, fix, fix, fix, fix.
00:13:41Fix, fix, fix, fix, fix, fix.
00:13:43Fix, fix, fix, fix, fix, fix, fix.
00:13:46Oh, my God.
00:13:48Oh, my God.
00:13:50Oh, God.
00:13:54My school enemy is my allied girlfriend?
00:14:01Stop it!
00:14:02Oh my God!
00:14:13You okay?
00:14:16Give that to me.
00:14:24Now give the phone back, Jen.
00:14:26What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:34How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:36Not good, huh?
00:14:37Now if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:39I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:41And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:44Why are you even defending her?
00:14:45She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:49Anybody's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:52And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:54You hear me?
00:14:59Hey, where are you?
00:15:00Cole is on my side now?
00:15:02Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:04I just need to be alone.
00:15:05Hey.
00:15:06Haley!
00:15:11Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:13And he said we were enemies.
00:15:15But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:21Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:23Love you, Mom.
00:15:26Wait, Mom.
00:15:30Do people change?
00:15:34Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:40Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:16:00Top day, huh?
00:16:02There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:04They're my favorite.
00:16:06Noted.
00:16:07Is that all?
00:16:08The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:10I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:14Oh.
00:16:15I'm really proud of you.
00:16:18And then there's this guy.
00:16:19He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:23It's so confusing.
00:16:25Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:28Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:30No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:31I like you.
00:16:32Only you.
00:16:39I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:41You did?
00:16:41Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:43I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:45That sounds amazing.
00:16:47When?
00:16:48With?
00:16:48After school.
00:16:50At the balcony.
00:16:50I'll bring followers.
00:16:52Deal.
00:17:01I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:13Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:22Army father.
00:17:24I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:26Defending that nobody.
00:17:28Hayley girl.
00:17:29He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:31Are those for her?
00:17:36What the fuck?
00:17:40What the fuck?
00:17:42I know what Hayley is, Cole.
00:17:44Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:47That whole family is trash.
00:17:49Stay away from her.
00:17:50And what if I say no?
00:17:51Stay away from Hayley Cole.
00:17:54Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:56What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:59I'm almost 18.
00:18:01Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:18:02I hate to make Hayley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:07safe.
00:18:09You're sick.
00:18:11It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:19Oh, hi.
00:18:20Hi.
00:18:21I'm Hayley.
00:18:22Yes.
00:18:23Mm-hmm.
00:18:24So nice to meet you.
00:18:26God.
00:18:27I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:29But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:34Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:36You're so nice.
00:18:41Guacamole wizard.
00:18:50You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:53Pathetic.
00:18:54Maybe he's married.
00:18:55Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:57And maybe he's sitting on his wife with you.
00:19:01I don't want any more trouble.
00:19:04Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:06Oh, no.
00:19:07We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:08We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:11And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:12Eat it.
00:19:15Eat it.
00:19:29So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:34You're a maid's daughter.
00:19:35So you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:38Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:40Oh, and by the way, Nicole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:43Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:45Like me.
00:19:50I'm nothing like you.
00:19:56Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:59Cole again?
00:20:00Why is he always here when I need help?
00:20:03Pick it up.
00:20:04Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:06It's ketchup.
00:20:07Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:12Take out, you're gonna record this.
00:20:16Okay.
00:20:22Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hailey anymore?
00:20:24Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:26Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:29You're gonna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:34I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:38I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:44Got it?
00:20:44Yeah.
00:20:47What are you looking at?
00:20:52Got it? Let's go.
00:21:01Uh, thank you.
00:21:04Wow.
00:21:06Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:09Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:12I just...
00:21:13I happen to see you.
00:21:16Were you waiting at someone?
00:21:18Yeah.
00:21:18My boyfriend actually.
00:21:22Well, he...
00:21:24He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:26Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:29Maybe you gotta do it nice today.
00:21:32Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:35You thought we were enemies.
00:21:37I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though.
00:21:40So...
00:21:40Am I that annoying?
00:21:42Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:44Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edmonds?
00:21:46Cause it's not gonna work.
00:21:47I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:55How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:22:02He...
00:22:02He makes me feel safe.
00:22:05You wouldn't understand that, though.
00:22:09I know.
00:22:11You understand better than you think.
00:22:14Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:19I see...
00:22:21How you touch him like this.
00:22:32If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see.
00:22:36No, my...
00:22:38My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:43In the game.
00:22:45Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:53Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:59Are you that slow in the game, too?
00:23:02I can see why he likes you.
00:23:14I can't do this.
00:23:17I love my boyfriend.
00:23:18And you will never understand that.
00:23:20He's...
00:23:21Smart.
00:23:21And he's kind.
00:23:23And...
00:23:23He loves me for who I am.
00:23:26That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:30I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:40Wait.
00:23:41It couldn't be.
00:23:43Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:46It's...
00:23:49It's nothing.
00:23:50Cole, who are you?
00:23:55What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:57It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:24:01Champagne problems, huh?
00:24:04You live such a tough life.
00:24:10What was I thinking?
00:24:12We are from two different worlds.
00:24:14He just wants to play with me.
00:24:15But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:22Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:24I got into a car accident.
00:24:27Really? Are you okay?
00:24:28You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:30He was right.
00:24:32Who?
00:24:32Nobody.
00:24:33Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:35I want to come visit you.
00:24:36No, no, you can't.
00:24:37I look miserable now.
00:24:39You need to see me in style.
00:24:41Fine, if you say so.
00:24:43So...
00:24:44Are we going to prom together?
00:24:46Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:52Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:55Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:12Oh.
00:25:13You.
00:25:14Oh.
00:25:15Me.
00:25:15Why is she so lucky?
00:25:17Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:20People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:23I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:25Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:32You finished it?
00:25:34It's okay.
00:25:35We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:37I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:38I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:40Like, uh...
00:25:41How close were you with your mom?
00:25:44What is he trying to do?
00:25:46It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:49I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:54Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:26:05So.
00:26:06Are you going to prom?
00:26:07Eh.
00:26:08Yeah, well, I don't know.
00:26:10So you have a date.
00:26:12Or shall I say victim?
00:26:14Are you jealous of me, Helen?
00:26:16Me?
00:26:17Jealous?
00:26:18No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:19Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:21You are so full of yourself.
00:26:24You can do this on your own.
00:26:25Yeah.
00:26:28No way.
00:26:29It's a self-locking door.
00:26:31Really?
00:26:32Ms. Gorman's going to be back in an hour.
00:26:34I'm sure it'll be fine.
00:26:34I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:37No.
00:26:38Am I that bad?
00:26:40I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:42Don't worry.
00:26:43Maybe trust me and do.
00:26:44Mm-mm.
00:26:45We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:48Yeah.
00:26:58That was my first kiss.
00:27:02My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:27:05It was supposed to be special at prom
00:27:07and not just bumping lips.
00:27:19You're really good at this.
00:27:21Why didn't I want you to regret it?
00:27:23You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:41Hey, I've been wanting back a lot more than you, Zach.
00:27:44So you want me?
00:27:48I think you know much I want you.
00:27:54Do you want me?
00:27:57I want you.
00:28:02Oh, shit.
00:28:03It's amazing.
00:28:07Anyone in here?
00:28:10Oh, my God.
00:28:11How long have you two been in here?
00:28:13I really need to change this lock.
00:28:15Are you two OK?
00:28:16Oh.
00:28:17Yeah.
00:28:18Yeah, we're good.
00:28:19We're OK.
00:28:21Nice.
00:28:27You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:29What didn't happen?
00:28:31Hey, wait.
00:28:32It's just hormones.
00:28:34Hey, Jake.
00:28:35Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:37Relax.
00:28:38I'm not dead.
00:28:39Wait.
00:28:39Car accident?
00:28:41Guacamole wizard?
00:28:47I gotta go.
00:28:56Guacamole wizard.
00:28:58Huh?
00:29:00Are you all better after your car accident?
00:29:03Do I know you?
00:29:04Why is he being so standoffish?
00:29:06Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:29:08Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:11You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:14She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:17She was in a real car accident.
00:29:18And according to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:21I can't do this anymore.
00:29:22Cole, wait.
00:29:25Oh, shit.
00:29:30What's up, Gus?
00:29:32Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:34Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:38Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:41Hey!
00:29:42I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:45They're your favorite, right?
00:29:48How did you know that?
00:29:50Tough day, huh?
00:29:51There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:53They're my favorite.
00:29:55He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:57Could he?
00:30:04The truth is, um...
00:30:05A dickhead?
00:30:08What do you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:30:09You came to my table, bro.
00:30:11And knocked my ball away.
00:30:19There it goes again.
00:30:20Cole is jealous.
00:30:22We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:23We don't have a problem.
00:30:25We don't have a problem.
00:30:27We don't have a problem.
00:30:28Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:31Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:36I have the ball now.
00:30:37Could we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:41Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:44Maybe I can use that.
00:30:48Jake!
00:30:49Hey!
00:30:50What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:54Wait, seriously?
00:30:55Yeah.
00:30:55Just one little catch.
00:30:57You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth.
00:31:02All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:31:05If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:31:08I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:31:12But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:16You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:18I'm thinking.
00:31:19About the report or about him?
00:31:21Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:23We literally made out of a sore dream.
00:31:26Maybe I've known Jake longer.
00:31:27No, you don't.
00:31:28How do you know that?
00:31:29You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:31Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:33You have no idea.
00:31:39Oh, my God.
00:31:41Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:56Haley, someone's here to see you.
00:32:09Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:12Too cheesy?
00:32:14No, it's cute.
00:32:16The accident?
00:32:17The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:19He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:20So, um, what do you think?
00:32:23You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:25I...
00:32:26I should feel happy.
00:32:28But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:32Hey, can we not?
00:32:36Hey, can we not?
00:32:38Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:40My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:43And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:46Wow.
00:32:47That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:50Oh.
00:32:50That's weak shit?
00:32:51Is this weak shit?
00:32:55Oh, my God.
00:32:56Oh, my God.
00:33:03Wow.
00:33:04He's got really pretty eyes.
00:33:11Wait.
00:33:12I can't.
00:33:13Cool.
00:33:13Put me down.
00:33:14Put me down.
00:33:17Don't do that again.
00:33:31New couple alert.
00:33:33Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:35Why do you hate me so much, Cool?
00:33:36You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:38And if you'd realize and give me a chance, I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:42Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:46I might say yes.
00:33:49Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:53Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:56We're both hot.
00:33:58And we're both rich.
00:33:59And our dads have been in business, like, forever.
00:34:02So...
00:34:03How romantic.
00:34:04I think I'll pass.
00:34:06You're gonna regret this, Cole Edmonds.
00:34:11Oh, here they come.
00:34:12Oh, here they come.
00:34:14If I message Corkamoli Wizard, I wonder if Jake's phone will ding.
00:34:20What should we wear to prom?
00:34:22And the Dean's List.
00:34:25Um, I'll talk to you later.
00:34:33See you around school, okay?
00:34:34Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:35Bye.
00:34:36He's so different.
00:34:38Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:42Haley?
00:34:52Geez.
00:34:53God.
00:34:59Here, I'll get it.
00:35:01Here we are.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:35:09I don't care.
00:35:10I do care.
00:35:13Here we are.
00:35:30You don't put a problem with Jake.
00:35:32I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:34He doesn't even know you.
00:35:36And you do?
00:35:37How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:39That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:40Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:44Hmm.
00:35:45I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:47The first day.
00:35:49You were watching me?
00:35:51Just...
00:35:51Just don't go to prom and Jake.
00:36:07Move!
00:36:09Cole is talking to Haley.
00:36:11Again.
00:36:12Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:36:15Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:17Obviously I do.
00:36:18Okay.
00:36:19Then break them up, idiot.
00:36:21Uh...
00:36:22What do I do?
00:36:24I've got a few ideas.
00:36:30Hey, look.
00:36:33Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:35I promise.
00:36:36Yeah?
00:36:36Really?
00:36:37Like who?
00:36:37I mean, the whole school hates me.
00:36:39Except for Jake.
00:36:41And you.
00:36:42But you're not asking me.
00:36:45Hey.
00:36:46Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:48Hey, Hal.
00:36:50Um...
00:36:50I just wanted to thank you again for...
00:36:52the other night.
00:36:54The other night?
00:36:55Yeah, it was...
00:36:58so...
00:36:59sexy.
00:37:00You're so sexy.
00:37:02Jake, what are you talking about?
00:37:04I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:37:14And she's a real tiger in the pep room.
00:37:17Oh!
00:37:18Oh, shit!
00:37:20Oh, shit!
00:37:22Oh, shit!
00:37:22Come on!
00:37:24Oh!
00:37:25Oh!
00:37:28Oh!
00:37:29Oh!
00:37:31Oh!
00:37:32Oh!
00:37:32Oh!
00:37:33Oh, my God!
00:37:41what the heck is going on over there?
00:37:45Shit.
00:37:46It's Principal Stevens.
00:37:48I've got to save Cole.
00:37:49I mean, Jake.
00:37:50I've gotta save Jake.
00:37:55Oh my god, Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry.
00:38:00Hayley Rock, that's detention.
00:38:03After school, don't be late.
00:38:21Colin, what are you doing here?
00:38:23Can we keep you company?
00:38:25It's the least I could do if you saved my ass today.
00:38:30The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:32Oh, sure.
00:38:35So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:39No.
00:38:41He lied about that. I don't know why, though.
00:38:44Good.
00:38:45You know, father that asshole, every time he looks at you, makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:51Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:54I could kill him.
00:38:58Promise me you won't go to prom with him.
00:39:03Okay, fine. I won't.
00:39:08Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:39:12Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:23Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:43Oh, sorry.
00:39:45Hey, Trips.
00:39:46No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:48Jet.
00:39:48What?
00:39:49It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:55They're dead.
00:39:55They're dead.
00:39:56They're both dead.
00:39:57Oh.
00:39:59How am I going to be able to talk to Guacamole Wizard?
00:40:04Oh.
00:40:05What are you, are you almost crying?
00:40:09It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:40:12Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:25What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:28Mrs. Gorman, it's burning.
00:40:30Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:31Oh, please.
00:40:31It's baking soda and water.
00:40:33You're fine.
00:40:34Detention today after school.
00:40:36Oh, shit.
00:40:48Jake, hey.
00:40:50Oh, sorry.
00:40:52Got to get to student council.
00:40:56Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:58The rice trick?
00:41:01Yeah.
00:41:03You don't know about the...
00:41:06Come on.
00:41:19Hey, um, Ella.
00:41:23It's Emma.
00:41:24Yeah.
00:41:25That's what I said.
00:41:26Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:29Amazing.
00:41:36Hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:39We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:42No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:45It means...
00:41:46It means I can't...
00:41:48Can't what?
00:41:51I talked to a friend online.
00:41:54He's really important to me.
00:41:59And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:42:12You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and...
00:42:16Big ol' ego and rich kid bravara.
00:42:20Okay, okay.
00:42:20I get it.
00:42:24You're kind of sweet.
00:42:30Hey, look at that.
00:42:32Oh, my God.
00:42:35Oh, my God.
00:42:37You're a miracle worker.
00:42:44Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:46You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:48Shut up, Ella.
00:42:50It's Emma.
00:42:51Whatever.
00:42:58Oh, my God.
00:43:06Oh, morning, Valley Whore.
00:43:09How are things in the castle?
00:43:15Valley Whore?
00:43:17What are they talking about?
00:43:33guacamole wizard when can we be together in person guacamole wizard i want you so badly
00:43:39i dream about you touching me oh my god someone hacked my castle claimers messages
00:43:43touch me guacamole wizard yeah hey valley whore show them what you really like
00:44:08here you go here this is for you
00:44:15oh do you like what i've done with the place you hacked my laptop oh no it wasn't me it
00:44:21was that kid ella but i definitely gotta reap the benefits what kind of incel sex over a
00:44:27video game hayley what are you catfishing this guy no i'm not trying to catfish him hey everyone
00:44:32i think valley whore is a catfish because who in their right mind would spend their time
00:44:38thirsting over you
00:44:41yeah
00:44:42yeah
00:44:43yeah
00:45:04stop it stop stop
00:45:09i thought i said the janitor some time
00:45:15jake
00:45:15hey
00:45:18now's the time tell them tell them what that's your guacamole wizard
00:45:25who's guacamole wizard
00:45:28here you go
00:45:31oh my god did you think that jake was your secret little online boyfriend oh sweetie i've been
00:45:37bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you what why would you do that oh i don't know
00:45:42cole why do you think i would do that jake is this true have you been pretending to like me
00:45:49this
00:45:50whole time sorry it was nothing personal
00:45:59yeah nothing personal
00:46:07all right all right all right enough what in the world is going on here is that a leaf blower
00:46:14that's all him
00:46:15okay well you both have detention so
00:46:23let me get this straight you stole a leaf blower and defaced school property it wasn't school property dad
00:46:29it was jen's cyber boy spreadsheets jesus how does she always get away with this shit
00:46:35could it be because her father's running for senate call you think that's what it could be
00:46:39who cares i care and i hear she's got an eye for you so you're taking her to prom
00:46:46what not over my dead body oh because you like that hayley girl i'm firing her mother right now
00:46:53no no please don't please then you're taking jen to prom max's dad called he said he's having a party
00:47:00tomorrow
00:47:01you're gonna go and you're gonna ask jen to prom end of discussion
00:47:11come on you big coward message him
00:47:14just do it just do it
00:47:18you must think i'm the biggest idiot
00:47:27i could never think that
00:47:34but i thought you were jake please can't you just tell me now i think i've had enough public humiliation
00:47:39for one lifetime
00:47:44i heard that guy max is throwing a party tomorrow if you want i'll meet you there
00:48:00okay you got this haley just take a deep breath you got this
00:48:05you got this you got this
00:48:09you look beautiful
00:48:13thank you mom
00:48:33hey hayley i'm glad you came you look so pretty
00:48:36hi hey max your house is gorgeous i mean
00:48:41no it's just my parents blood money you know they're upstairs watching the last of us right now
00:48:45they don't care about shit get drunk girl
00:48:47woo
00:48:51yeah
00:49:01what are you doing here
00:49:03valley whore
00:49:06looks like the catfish came out of the pond
00:49:08hey everyone let's give it up for valley whore
00:49:11valley whore
00:49:15jen
00:49:16why are you doing this what have i even done to you
00:49:18to me
00:49:19oh i'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:49:22because those little cringy messages on your castle game
00:49:25those are concerning
00:49:26actually kind of a little bit of a perv
00:49:29did you know that hayley
00:49:31she's a little pervy princess
00:49:32pervy princess
00:49:35pervy princess
00:49:37pervy princess
00:49:39pervy princess
00:49:40pervy princess
00:49:40pervy princess
00:49:42hey let's get pervy tonight
00:49:44leave me alone
00:49:46what is there a fire
00:49:48okay we set off the alarm
00:49:50hey
00:49:50hey
00:49:50hey
00:49:59hey
00:50:00hey
00:50:41Are you... him?
00:50:44Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:47Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:49Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:51No, I'm not.
00:50:52Yes, you are.
00:50:54It's okay. You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:57So you two, this whole time.
00:51:03Oh, my God. I am such an idiot.
00:51:06Hey, wait.
00:51:11Hey, wait.
00:51:13Please, at least take my jacket.
00:51:15You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:51:18Jen was doing just fine.
00:51:20I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:51:21Then what were you trying to do?
00:51:23I guess you.
00:51:24Obviously. The white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:27I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:30What about guacamole, was it?
00:51:33What are you...
00:51:42Who is that?
00:51:43I don't know.
00:51:44Just the devil.
00:51:47Get in the car.
00:51:51I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:53Get in the car.
00:51:54Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:57Haley.
00:51:58I already assumed that's who this was.
00:52:01I'm a strip.
00:52:02So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:52:08Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:52:10My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:52:14And that's not you.
00:52:16You will be forgotten.
00:52:18You're a maid's daughter.
00:52:20And your mom works for me.
00:52:22Stay away from him.
00:52:23Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:28Dad, stop!
00:52:29Don't you touch my family.
00:52:31I'll stay away.
00:52:33Haley, come on.
00:52:34You don't mean that.
00:52:37I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:40I hate your greed and your callousness
00:52:42and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:46I hate everything about you.
00:52:48I hate all of it.
00:52:49I don't want any part of it.
00:52:52So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:56Haley.
00:53:00Fuck this.
00:53:02That's me.
00:53:06No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:53:09Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:53:12Haley, not that's real love.
00:53:13Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:53:15I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:53:18Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:28Hi, Haley.
00:53:29I'm Emma.
00:53:30I know who you are.
00:53:32Right.
00:53:32I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:37So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:40Good as new.
00:53:45Oh, wow.
00:53:47Thanks, Emma.
00:53:49Okay, bye.
00:53:50Bye.
00:53:54One down, one to go.
00:53:57You're so cool.
00:53:58I know, Emma.
00:53:59Wanna go to prom?
00:54:01Why not?
00:54:03Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:54:10Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:54:12Hi, Max.
00:54:13And Max's friend.
00:54:14Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:54:16Cole's grounded.
00:54:17Oh, he is?
00:54:19But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:54:22What can I say, Max?
00:54:24Actions have consequences.
00:54:25Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:28Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:34We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:36We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:37Cole?
00:54:38My son, Cole?
00:54:40Reviewing budgets.
00:54:41He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:44Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:45And we just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very
00:54:49important and very respectable budgetary work.
00:55:01Go away!
00:55:05Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:55:08Happy birthday, Cole.
00:55:09Cole, I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:55:13Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:55:14What?
00:55:15What's going on?
00:55:16Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:55:18You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:55:20You can be together.
00:55:21Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:26No.
00:55:27I'll tell her myself.
00:55:29Stick me in your car.
00:55:37Come on, the wizard.
00:55:40Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:42I just need some time alone.
00:55:51Open the door.
00:55:53Wait, what?
00:55:55He's here?
00:56:04It's you.
00:56:06I should have given you this to a long time ago.
00:56:10Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:56:13My dad threatened to fire your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:56:17I was.
00:56:18I got my hairiness.
00:56:20And I can protect you and your family, so you don't have to choose.
00:56:35Haley, I understand if this changes things.
00:56:39If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:59Nicole, I love you.
00:57:01You do?
00:57:03Yes, you idiot.
00:57:04I've loved you for months.
00:57:06I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though, because I had to be loyal to him.
00:57:13I mean, but you're him.
00:57:15You didn't expect her.
00:57:17I mean, I always hoped it was you.
00:57:22Until you hoped?
00:57:23Yes.
00:57:25I hoped it was you.
00:57:26You were always there for me.
00:57:30That and you're really fucking hot.
00:57:38Hey, uh, one of those things I said we could do, you ever do them?
00:57:44Yeah.
00:57:48Take my clothes off.
00:57:49I'm getting there, don't worry.
00:57:50Mm-hmm.
00:57:53I'm so real, you.
00:57:56Just be on me.
00:57:59I'm so real, you.
00:58:01Oh, oh, oh.
00:58:04Oh, oh, oh.
00:58:06Just be on me.
00:58:13Okay, so, what do you think?
00:58:1610 out of 10.
00:58:17Oh.
00:58:17Yeah, would do again.
00:58:19Okay, sex with sex with me specifically.
00:58:22I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:58:25All right, all right, that's fair.
00:58:27I'll, uh, I'll take that as a one.
00:58:34What is my life now?
00:58:36Am I being nice to Cole Edmonds?
00:58:38Mm, oh, God, no.
00:58:39I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:44No, I'm just, I'm just lost behind it.
00:58:47There's always been lost behind it.
00:58:49I'll take a minute, no.
00:58:50Stop it.
00:58:54Um, same.
00:58:56Isn't promenade?
00:58:58I think you know if it's promenade.
00:59:01Okay.
00:59:02But the real question is, do you get a date?
00:59:07Cole, are you asking me to promenade?
00:59:10Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of gave me to a joke.
00:59:14Oh, God, please don't mention his name again.
00:59:15I don't want to hear it.
00:59:17Yeah, you don't have to ask me please.
00:59:19But I don't even have a dress.
00:59:22Later.
00:59:26I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:30Who would have guessed?
00:59:35I thought I'm only the best for my princess.
00:59:39Where did you get that?
00:59:42I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to prom
00:59:48with me,
00:59:48and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:52Of course I'll go to prom with you.
00:59:58Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
01:00:02Cole, are you here?
01:00:05Cole, are you here?
01:00:08Mr. Edmonds, you can't just park into my house like this.
01:00:11I see you, Cole.
01:00:12You are in big trouble.
01:00:30Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:32You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:38Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:50What do you think?
01:00:55My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:01:01Uh-uh-uh.
01:01:02I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:01:05You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:01:0820 more minutes.
01:01:09What in?
01:01:11Deal.
01:01:14Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:01:19I hear we have a winner.
01:01:22And your 2026 prom queen is...
01:01:27Jen Longfellow.
01:01:33Thank you guys so much.
01:01:36Seriously, this makes the world to me.
01:01:37I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:40Oh, this is just the perfect moment.
01:01:47Oh my God, that's Haley and Cole.
01:01:51Haley's fine.
01:01:52Since when did you get out of here?
01:01:57Hey, or, uh, most of the time that's up.
01:02:00No.
01:02:01But who cares?
01:02:04Hell yeah.
01:02:05Woo!
01:02:08Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:02:10Damn.
01:02:11Language.
01:02:12I am the queen, okay?
01:02:13She's just a little pervy princess.
01:02:16Come on, everyone say it with me.
01:02:18Pervy princess, pervy princess, pervy princess.
01:02:22Woo!
01:02:27Wait, wait, wait, what are those?
01:02:29Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:02:31Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:34His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:38Don't worry, Daddy.
01:02:40If I can't have it, no one can.
01:02:43I'm gonna destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:46Is this real?
01:02:47Jen's crazy.
01:02:50Who did this?
01:02:52Who did this?
01:02:56What?
01:02:56You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was gonna hack your phone?
01:03:00You little shit!
01:03:02You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama.
01:03:11But quite frankly, you are the worst, and I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy.
01:03:19You can't do that!
01:03:21I'm the principal, so, uh, yes, I can.
01:03:32There was no internship!
01:03:35You lied to me!
01:03:42Hailey, catch.
01:03:48Oh, my princess finally has a crown.
01:03:52Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:54Oh.
01:03:55Yeah, no can do.
01:03:57All I have to offer is a Bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder and an awesome sense
01:04:03of humor.
01:04:03Oh, how can I refuse?
01:04:11Oh, no, that's my dad.
01:04:15We are going home right now.
01:04:18You disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:04:21Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:04:23You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name, yet
01:04:28you can't see I've already become that man.
01:04:31And it's because of Hailey.
01:04:33And you can accept that, or I'll make my own path.
01:04:36And best believe me, I can.
01:04:38I'll say this.
01:04:40That's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:56I can't have done without you being by my side.
01:05:00That was terrifying.
01:05:01Why?
01:05:02It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before.
01:05:04Well, so.
01:05:06I love you, Bella Courtney.
01:05:08I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:05:10Oh, my God.
01:05:11I gotta change that username.
01:05:11Yeah, you go.
01:05:13Yeah.
01:05:14And I love you.
01:05:17Yeah.
01:05:17Yeah, you are.
01:05:27You
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