- 1 day ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:18You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell me I hate who you are?
00:00:32You know who I really am. I'm ValleyQueen33.
00:00:35Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamole wizard275.
00:00:39Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:42You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:43You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:45Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:55Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, Skylifter Queen.
00:01:01Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:09In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:11I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:14But on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:16I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it!
00:01:20This isn't public school.
00:01:23Forget your training wheels.
00:01:26At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:40Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:44No!
00:01:46God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:49It's ruined!
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey!
00:01:57I told you to stop the car!
00:02:04Oh my gosh, it's cool!
00:02:05He's so hot!
00:02:10Hey!
00:02:12What is wrong with you?
00:02:13Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:16Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:18What are you with me, son?
00:02:20What are you talking about?
00:02:22Why?
00:02:24I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:26No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:30You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:32Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts, player cop.
00:02:34Okay?
00:02:37You should know that.
00:02:38I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:41You were a...
00:02:42Eh...
00:02:45Asshole!
00:02:51Okay, I broke something of yours.
00:02:54Sure, but...
00:02:55Hey!
00:02:56You got my attention.
00:02:59So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:07Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:10Have a good day.
00:03:13Don't do it!
00:03:15I got a hot mess energy
00:03:21Oh fuck
00:03:23Now we're even
00:03:24My laptop better not be broken
00:03:26I can't lose my connection to Valley Clean
00:03:33You just made the wrong enemy
00:03:37You just made the wrong enemy
00:03:39I'm going to make every classroom
00:03:43Every hallway and every rumor
00:03:45In this school you're a personal nightmare
00:03:48I'm going to make your life a living out
00:03:51What's going on?
00:03:52Cole's fighting the new girl
00:03:53Now Cole's leaving the new girl
00:03:55Yeah, idiot
00:03:56I can see that
00:03:59Just met an unhinged person
00:04:01Good thing the universe balances it with you
00:04:04Same
00:04:05Ran into a certified asshole
00:04:07Can't wait to see you in the game tonight
00:04:11Cole, do you want to know?
00:04:12Do you need help?
00:04:13I can help you
00:04:16The new girl poured coffee on him
00:04:18This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael
00:04:21But he's not your Cole
00:04:22Shut up, Lindsey
00:04:24He's not yet
00:04:26Come on
00:04:29Hi, I'm Jen
00:04:30And this is Lindsey
00:04:32Hi, I'm Hayley
00:04:34It's so nice to meet you
00:04:36You have first day jitters?
00:04:37It's totally understandable
00:04:38We want to make sure you feel really welcome
00:04:40And so we'll take you to your locker
00:04:42Come in
00:04:43It's not fair
00:04:44Let's go
00:04:48There you go
00:04:50Thanks so much
00:05:11Aw, you're welcome new girl
00:05:14Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face
00:05:22Guacamole wizard
00:05:23Wow
00:05:24What are you catfishing?
00:05:25Some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:28Give it back!
00:05:29Hold on
00:05:32Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy
00:05:33You should come to Locker 83 right now
00:05:36Send
00:05:36Here
00:05:37Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face
00:05:42So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:45I'm your friend first, Max, at least check on me
00:05:48Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:50Ah, chill, please
00:05:54No way
00:05:55What is it?
00:05:57Oh, Belle Queen goes to the school
00:06:04Please ignore that
00:06:05Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:06:08Send
00:06:12What is wrong with you?
00:06:14You messed with Cole Edmunds and you're gonna mess with me
00:06:17Edmunds?
00:06:18What?
00:06:19You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:20Ooh
00:06:21Wow, you really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:26Stop recording me!
00:06:29Jen is a new girl
00:06:30Wait
00:06:32Is the new girl...
00:06:33Valley Queen?
00:06:36There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen
00:06:38Could it be...
00:06:39Jen?
00:06:42Ew
00:06:46Your enemy is our enemy Cole
00:06:48And I just made sure that the new girl knows that
00:06:51No chance it's Jen
00:06:52No chance it's Jen
00:06:53So is it
00:06:54She does look kinda cute
00:07:03Please ignore that
00:07:04Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:07:07What was I thinking?
00:07:08Of course she's not my online lover
00:07:14Hey there buttercup
00:07:15Keep walking Haley
00:07:17Just keep walking
00:07:18You got a problem with shaving this morning?
00:07:21Or...
00:07:22My name's Haley
00:07:23Well
00:07:24Haley
00:07:25I think you uh...
00:07:27You used to spell on your upper lip right there
00:07:31What a coincidence
00:07:33So did you
00:07:34Oh no
00:07:35You get burned
00:07:36If you're too close to...
00:07:38Oh
00:07:38I'm sorry
00:07:39I forgot you don't even need shaving cream
00:07:41You're just a man-child with follicle issues
00:07:47Whoever ends up with her must have failed an eye exam
00:08:02I was so relieved to see you
00:08:03Something happened
00:08:05I lost the game
00:08:06I thought I'd never see you again
00:08:08I think it's time we call this what it is
00:08:12And...
00:08:12What is this?
00:08:13What I think it is
00:08:15Is...
00:08:15I wanna be with you
00:08:17And...
00:08:18You wanna be with me
00:08:20Is...
00:08:20More than just friends
00:08:21Oh thank god
00:08:23I honestly want that more than anything
00:08:25You're...
00:08:26My soul mate
00:08:27Like...
00:08:27I like you so much
00:08:28Okay, well...
00:08:29Since...
00:08:30We're dating now
00:08:31Um...
00:08:32I'm ready...
00:08:33To send my photo
00:08:34Wait, really?
00:08:36Yeah
00:08:36Get ready
00:08:43Okay
00:08:44No face
00:08:45Just the boobs
00:08:47Is...
00:08:48Is it a bad idea?
00:08:49But all my online friends said it's cool
00:08:51PG-13 nudes are harmless
00:08:53All the kids do this
00:08:55You'll love it
00:09:00Ugh, this lighting hates me
00:09:02Come on, Hayley
00:09:03Confidence
00:09:04You literally fight dragons online
00:09:11Okay
00:09:12Yeah
00:09:12That's actually kind of
00:09:14Ah!
00:09:18Oh my god
00:09:19Seriously?
00:09:21Hello?
00:09:22Anyone?
00:09:24Don't look at me!
00:09:28Don't look at me!
00:09:29We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:31I don't think that you're supposed to do it like that
00:09:33Get out!
00:09:34Now!
00:09:35Fine
00:09:35Ow!
00:09:37Damn it!
00:09:41Come on
00:10:01To this place
00:10:11Monday Night
00:10:12I think you sent me out of the hallway
00:10:15You're helping me.
00:10:16I won't. I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:26Excuse you. These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:28I love a boyfriend, do we? That is shocking.
00:10:31Yeah, actually. And he'd probably kill you right now if he saw you were flirting with me.
00:10:36Flirting? Yeah, don't lie to yourself. I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:38My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:40Funny.
00:10:41Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:46Fine by me.
00:10:49Oh, I know.
00:10:51Well, the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:54I like it in a weird way.
00:10:55I mean, not even my type, but, you know, power theory.
00:10:59Would you just get out of here?
00:11:09Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:13Jen, red alert.
00:11:14Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:17I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:21Don't be a coward.
00:11:22Just send it.
00:11:23Jen.
00:11:28Oh, my God.
00:11:30Here goes nothing.
00:11:38Still, no response.
00:11:40Don't freak out.
00:11:41He's probably just busy.
00:11:46Give it back.
00:11:46Why?
00:11:47You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:50Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:52Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:55Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:56Mm-hmm.
00:11:58Got it.
00:12:00What are you doing?
00:12:11What are you doing?
00:12:27Oh, shit.
00:12:29Oh.
00:12:30Yo, what's going on?
00:12:31Dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:34What?
00:12:34Yeah.
00:12:36Yeah.
00:12:49Come on.
00:12:50Let's see if these goods are photoshopped.
00:12:54Stop.
00:12:55Delete it.
00:12:55Please.
00:12:56Oh, you did it.
00:13:03Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:09I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:16Oh, my God.
00:13:18Oh, cool.
00:13:19Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:21Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:28Oh, my God.
00:13:29Jen, no.
00:13:29No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:30Jen, stop.
00:13:31Gosh.
00:13:33Stop.
00:13:33Stop.
00:13:49My school, enemy, is my ally, girlfriend?
00:13:55Stop it!
00:13:56Oh my God!
00:14:07You okay?
00:14:10Give that to me!
00:14:18Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:20What's up?
00:14:21What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:28How does it feel being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:30Not good, huh?
00:14:31Now, if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:33I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:35And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:38Why are you even defending her?
00:14:39She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:43Amy's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:46And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:48You hear me?
00:14:53Haley, are you?
00:14:54Cole is on my side now?
00:14:56Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:14:58I just need to be alone.
00:15:00Haley!
00:15:05Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:07And he said we were enemies.
00:15:09But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:15Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:17Love you, Mom.
00:15:19Wait, Mom!
00:15:24Do people change?
00:15:27Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:34Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:54What's up there, huh?
00:15:55There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:15:58They're my favorite.
00:16:00Noted.
00:16:00Is that all?
00:16:01The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:04I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:08Well, I'm really proud of you.
00:16:11And then there's this guy.
00:16:12He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:17It's so confusing.
00:16:18Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:24I like you.
00:16:25Only you.
00:16:32I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:33You did?
00:16:34Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:36I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:38That sounds amazing.
00:16:40When?
00:16:41Where?
00:16:41After school.
00:16:42At the balcony.
00:16:44I'll bring flowers.
00:16:45Deal.
00:16:54I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:05Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:15Call me father.
00:17:17I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:19Defending that nobody.
00:17:21Haley girl.
00:17:22He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:24Are those for her?
00:17:29What the fuck?
00:17:33What the fuck?
00:17:34I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:36Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:39That whole family is trash.
00:17:41Stay away from her.
00:17:43And what if I say no?
00:17:44Stay away from Haley Cole.
00:17:46Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:48What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:51I'm almost 18.
00:17:53Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:55I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:00safe.
00:18:01You're sick.
00:18:03It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:11Oh, hi.
00:18:13I'm Haley.
00:18:14Yes.
00:18:15Mm-hmm.
00:18:16So nice to meet you.
00:18:18God.
00:18:19I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:21But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:26Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:28You're so nice.
00:18:33Guacamole wizard.
00:18:35Ew.
00:18:39Guacamole wizard.
00:18:40Ew.
00:18:41No.
00:18:42You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:45Pathetic.
00:18:46Maybe he's married.
00:18:47Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:49And maybe he's sitting on his life video.
00:18:53I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:56Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:18:58Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:00We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch, and so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:06Eat it.
00:19:14Ah!
00:19:19Call me!
00:19:21So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:26You're a maid's daughter, so you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:30Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:32Oh, and by the way, Nicole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:35Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:37Like me!
00:19:42I'm nothing like you.
00:19:47Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Cole again?
00:19:51Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:54Pick it up.
00:19:56Cole, we were kidding.
00:19:57It's ketchup.
00:19:58Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:04Take her, you're gonna record this.
00:20:13Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:15Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:17Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:19You're gonna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:25I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:30I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:35Got it?
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:36Let's go.
00:20:38What are you looking at?
00:20:45Uh, thank you.
00:20:54Wow.
00:20:56Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:00Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:02I just...
00:21:04I happened to see you.
00:21:06Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:08Yeah.
00:21:09My boyfriend actually.
00:21:13Well, he...
00:21:14He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:16Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:20Maybe you gotta do it nice today.
00:21:22Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:26You thought we were enemies.
00:21:28I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:31Am I that annoying?
00:21:32Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:35Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edna?
00:21:37Cause it's not gonna work.
00:21:38I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:46How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:53He...
00:21:53He makes me feel safe.
00:21:56You wouldn't understand it, though.
00:22:02You don't understand better than you think.
00:22:05Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:10I see...
00:22:11How you touch him like this.
00:22:22If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see.
00:22:26No, my...
00:22:28My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:33In the game.
00:22:36Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:43Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:49Are you that slow on the game, too?
00:22:53I can see why he likes you.
00:22:54Yes.
00:23:04I can't do this.
00:23:07I love my boyfriend.
00:23:08And you will never understand that.
00:23:10He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:13He loves me for who I am.
00:23:16That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:20I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:30Wait. It couldn't be.
00:23:34Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:39There's nothing.
00:23:40Cole, who are you?
00:23:44What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:46It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:51Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:54You live such a tough life.
00:24:00What was I thinking?
00:24:01We are from two different worlds.
00:24:03He just wants to play with me.
00:24:05But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:12Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:14I... got into a car accident.
00:24:16Really? Are you okay?
00:24:17You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:20He was right.
00:24:21Who?
00:24:22Nobody.
00:24:23Which hospital are you staying at? I want to come visit you.
00:24:26No, no, you can't. I look miserable now.
00:24:28You need to see me in style.
00:24:30Fine, if you say so.
00:24:33So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:35Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:41Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:44Who ever needs a charity case?
00:24:46Who ever needs a charity case?
00:25:01Oh, you.
00:25:03Oh, me.
00:25:04Why is she so lucky?
00:25:06Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:09People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:12I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:14Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:21You finished it?
00:25:23It's okay.
00:25:24We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:25I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:27I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:29Like, uh, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:33What is he trying to do?
00:25:35It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:38I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:43Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:53So.
00:25:54Are you going to prom?
00:25:56I don't know.
00:25:58So you have a date.
00:26:01Or shall I say victim?
00:26:03Are you jealous of me?
00:26:05Me? Jealous?
00:26:06No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:07Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:10You are so full of yourself.
00:26:12You can do this on your own.
00:26:13Yeah.
00:26:16No way.
00:26:18It's a self-locking door.
00:26:20Really?
00:26:21Ms. Corma's gonna be back in an hour.
00:26:22I'm sure it'll be fine.
00:26:23I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:26Sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:28I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:31Don't worry.
00:26:32Maybe trust me and do.
00:26:34We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:36Yeah.
00:26:46That was my first kiss.
00:26:50My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:53It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:07You're really good at this.
00:27:09Why don't you regret it?
00:27:11You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:14All right.
00:27:29I've been walking back a lot more than you think.
00:27:32That's why you want me.
00:27:36I think you know how much I want you.
00:27:42Do you want me?
00:27:44I want you.
00:27:50Oh, shit.
00:27:54Anyone in here?
00:27:58Oh, my God.
00:27:59How long have you two been in here?
00:28:00I really need to change this lock.
00:28:02Are you two okay?
00:28:04Oh, yeah.
00:28:05Yeah, we're good.
00:28:06We're okay.
00:28:07Great.
00:28:08Yeah, we're happy.
00:28:09Nice.
00:28:15You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:17What didn't happen?
00:28:18Hey, wait.
00:28:19It's just hormones.
00:28:21Jake.
00:28:22Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:25Relax, I'm not dead.
00:28:26Wait, car accident?
00:28:28Guacamole wizard?
00:28:34I gotta go.
00:28:43Guacamole wizard.
00:28:44Huh?
00:28:47Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:49Do I know you?
00:28:50Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:53Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:55Or he heard something about Cole?
00:28:58You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:01She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:03She was in a real car accident.
00:29:05According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:08I don't think this anymore.
00:29:09Cole, wait.
00:29:12Oh, shit.
00:29:17What's up, guys?
00:29:18Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:21Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:24Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:28Hey, just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:31They're your favorite, right?
00:29:35How did you know that?
00:29:37Tough day, huh?
00:29:38There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:40They're my favorite.
00:29:42He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:44Could he?
00:29:50The truth is, um...
00:29:51A dickhead?
00:29:54What do you gotta say?
00:29:55Get out of here, bro.
00:29:55You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:05There it goes again.
00:30:06Cole is jealous.
00:30:08We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:09We don't have a problem.
00:30:11We don't have a problem.
00:30:13Right?
00:30:14Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:17Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:22I have the ball now.
00:30:23Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:27Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:30Maybe I can use that.
00:30:34Jake!
00:30:35Hey!
00:30:36What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:40Wait, seriously?
00:30:41Yeah.
00:30:42Just one little catch.
00:30:42You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth.
00:30:47All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:50If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:54I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:30:58But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:02You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:04I'm thinking.
00:31:05About the report or about him?
00:31:06Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:08We literally made out of a sword room.
00:31:11Maybe I've known Jake longer.
00:31:13No, you don't.
00:31:14How do you know that?
00:31:15You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:17Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:19You have no idea.
00:31:25Oh, my God.
00:31:27Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:41Hey, Lee, someone's here to see you.
00:31:54Are you asking me to prom?
00:31:57Too cheesy?
00:31:58No, it's cute.
00:32:01The accident?
00:32:02The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:03He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:05So, um, what do you think?
00:32:08You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:10I...
00:32:11I should feel happy.
00:32:13But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:17Hey, can we not?
00:32:21Hey, can we not?
00:32:23Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:25My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:28And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:30Wow.
00:32:32That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:34Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:36Is this weak shit?
00:32:39Oh, my God.
00:32:48Wow.
00:32:49He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:56Wait, I can't.
00:32:57Colt, put me down.
00:32:58Put me down.
00:32:59Put me down.
00:33:02Don't do that again.
00:33:15New couple alert.
00:33:18Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:19Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:21You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:23And if you'd realize and give me a chance, I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:27Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:30I might say yes.
00:33:33Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:40We're both hot.
00:33:41And we're both rich.
00:33:43And our dads have been in business, like, forever.
00:33:45So.
00:33:47How romantic.
00:33:47I think I'll pass.
00:33:50You're going to regret this, Colt Edmonds.
00:33:55Oh, here they come.
00:33:58If I message Corcomole Wizard, I wonder if Jake's phone were ding.
00:34:03What should we wear to prom?
00:34:06And the dean's list.
00:34:15I'll talk to you later.
00:34:17I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:18Okay, yeah.
00:34:18I'll see you later.
00:34:19Bye.
00:34:20He's so different.
00:34:22Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:24I'm going to stay with you.
00:34:26Hayley?
00:34:31No.
00:34:34What are you doing?
00:34:36Jeez.
00:34:37God.
00:34:43Here, I'll get it.
00:34:44Yeah, I know.
00:34:49Oh.
00:34:50You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:52I don't care.
00:34:53I do care.
00:34:56Hell yeah.
00:35:13I'm going to prom a check.
00:35:15I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:18He doesn't even know you.
00:35:19And you do?
00:35:20How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:22That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:24Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:28I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:30The first day.
00:35:32You were watching me?
00:35:34Just, just don't go to prom a check.
00:35:51Move.
00:35:52Cole is talking to Hayley again.
00:35:55Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:35:58Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:00Obviously I do.
00:36:01Okay.
00:36:02Then break them up, idiot.
00:36:05Uh, what do I do?
00:36:07I've got a few ideas.
00:36:13Hey, look.
00:36:16Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:17All right, I promise.
00:36:18Yeah?
00:36:19Really, like who?
00:36:20I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:24And you.
00:36:25But you're not asking me.
00:36:28Hey.
00:36:29Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:31Hey, Hal.
00:36:32Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:37The other night?
00:36:38Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:43You're so sexy.
00:36:45Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:47Hey, I'm wrong.
00:36:48Oh, I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:36:57And she's a real tiger in the pep room.
00:37:00Oh, shit.
00:37:02Oh, shit.
00:37:04Come on.
00:37:13Oh, my God.
00:37:19Stop.
00:37:20Guys, stop it.
00:37:21Stop.
00:37:23What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:27Shit.
00:37:28It's Principal Stevens.
00:37:29I've got to save Cole.
00:37:31I mean, Jake.
00:37:31I've got to save Jake.
00:37:38Oh, my God.
00:37:39Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry.
00:37:42Haley Rock.
00:37:43That's detention.
00:37:45After school.
00:37:46Don't be late.
00:38:03What are you doing here?
00:38:05Can we keep you company?
00:38:07What are you doing here?
00:38:14oh sure so uh you and you and Jake huh no he lied about that I don't know why
00:38:25though good you know father the asshole every time he looks at you makes me sick
00:38:31to my stomach thinking about him touching you kissing you I could kill him
00:38:40promise me you won't go to prom with it okay fine I won't
00:38:49because I want to go to prom with you
00:38:54okay everyone let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:04oh my god I am so fed up with this
00:39:26sorry I tripped no no no no no no no no no no what it always has to be about
00:39:32her doesn't
00:39:32it they're dead they're both dead oh how am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard
00:39:46oh what are you are you almost crying it's probably because you can't afford a new one
00:40:06what's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine
00:40:10Mr. Edmonds oh please it's baking soda and water you're fine
00:40:14detention today after school
00:40:16shit
00:40:29Jake hey
00:40:30oh uh sorry gotta get to student council
00:40:36hey you didn't even try the rice trick
00:40:38the rice trick the rice trick
00:40:42yeah you don't know about the
00:40:46come on
00:40:59hey um Emma
00:41:03it's Emma yeah that's what I said can you hack a broken laptop
00:41:16hey it's gonna be okay
00:41:19we'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened
00:41:22no it's not just the phone or the laptop it means
00:41:26it means I can't can't why I talked to a friend online he's really important to me
00:41:39and I'm sure you're really important to him
00:41:51you know Cole if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and rich kid bravron
00:41:59okay okay I get it
00:42:04you're kind of sweet
00:42:09hey look at that
00:42:12oh my god thank you
00:42:15oh my god you're a miracle worker
00:42:24oh what is taking so long
00:42:25you doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate
00:42:28shut up Ella
00:42:29it's Emma
00:42:30whatever
00:42:38oh my god
00:42:46morning valley whore
00:42:48how are things in the castle
00:42:55valley whore
00:42:56what are they talking about
00:43:12guacamole wizard
00:43:13guacamole wizard when can we be together in person guacamole wizard I want you so badly I dream about you
00:43:19touching me oh my god someone hacked my castle claimers messages
00:43:23touch me guacamole wizard yeah hey valley whore show them what you really like
00:43:48here you go here this is for you
00:43:54oh do you like what I've done with the place you hacked my laptop
00:43:59oh no it wasn't me it was that kid Ella but I definitely got to reap the benefits
00:44:04what kind of incel sex over a video game Haley what are you catfishing this guy no I'm not
00:44:10trying to catfish him hey everyone I think valley whore is a catfish
00:44:15because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you
00:44:20oh
00:44:22oh
00:44:22oh
00:44:27oh
00:44:29oh
00:44:40oh
00:44:40oh
00:44:43oh
00:44:44stop it stop stop
00:44:45stop it stop stop
00:44:48I thought I'd send the janitor some time
00:44:53hey
00:44:55hey
00:44:57now is the time
00:44:58tell them
00:44:59tell them what
00:45:00That's your guacamole wizard.
00:45:04Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:07Here you go.
00:45:10Oh, my God.
00:45:11Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:14Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:19What?
00:45:19Why would you do that?
00:45:20Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:21Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:25Jake, is this true?
00:45:26Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:30I'm sorry.
00:45:32It was nothing personal?
00:45:38Yeah, nothing personal.
00:45:41Oh!
00:45:42Oh!
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:46All right, all right, all right.
00:45:48Enough!
00:45:49What in the world is going on here?
00:45:51Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:53That's all him.
00:45:54Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:01Let me get this straight.
00:46:03You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:06It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:08It was Jen's cyber boy spreadsheets.
00:46:10Jesus Christ.
00:46:11How does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:13Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:16You think that's what it could be?
00:46:17Who cares?
00:46:18I care, and I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:23So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:25What?
00:46:25Not over my dead body.
00:46:27Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:30I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:32No, no, please don't.
00:46:33Please.
00:46:34Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:36Max's dad called.
00:46:37He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:39You're going to go, and you're going to ask Jen to prom.
00:46:42End of discussion.
00:46:49Come on, you big coward.
00:46:51Message him.
00:46:52Just do it, just do it.
00:46:56You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:05I could never think that.
00:47:12But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:13Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:15I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:22I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:24If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:37Okay.
00:47:39You got this, Haley.
00:47:40Just take a deep breath.
00:47:42You got this.
00:47:43You got this.
00:47:47You look beautiful.
00:47:51Thank you, Mom.
00:48:10Hey, Haley.
00:48:12I'm glad you came.
00:48:13You look so pretty.
00:48:14Hi.
00:48:15Hey, Max.
00:48:16Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:18I mean...
00:48:18No, it's just my parents' blood, honey.
00:48:20You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:22They don't care about shit.
00:48:23Get drunk, girl.
00:48:24Woo!
00:48:26Woo!
00:48:26Woo!
00:48:28Woo!
00:48:28Yeah.
00:48:38What are you doing here?
00:48:40Valley whore.
00:48:43Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:45Hey, everyone.
00:48:46Let's give it up for Valley Whore.
00:48:48Valley Whore!
00:48:49Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:48:53Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:54What have I even done to you?
00:48:55To me?
00:48:56Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community because those little cringy messages
00:49:01on your castle game, those are concerning.
00:49:04Actually, I kind of feel a bit of a perv.
00:49:06Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:08She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:10Pervy princess.
00:49:13Pervy princess.
00:49:14Pervy princess.
00:49:16Pervy princess.
00:49:18Hey, let's get pervied tonight.
00:49:21Leave me alone.
00:49:23Is there a fire?
00:49:25Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:39Oh?
00:50:16Are you him?
00:50:20Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:23Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:25Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:28No, I'm not.
00:50:29Yes, you are.
00:50:30It's okay.
00:50:31You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:34So you too.
00:50:35This whole time.
00:50:39Oh my God.
00:50:40I am such an idiot.
00:50:42Haley, wait.
00:50:49Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:50You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:54Jen was doing just fine.
00:50:56I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:50:57Then what were you trying to do?
00:50:58I guess you.
00:51:00Obviously, the white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:03I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:06What about guacamole, was it?
00:51:09What are you?
00:51:18Who is that?
00:51:19I don't know.
00:51:20Just the devil.
00:51:23Get in the car.
00:51:26I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:28Get in the car.
00:51:29Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:32Haley, I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:36I'm a disturbance.
00:51:37So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:43Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:45My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:50And that's not you.
00:51:51You will be forgotten.
00:51:53You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:55And your mom works for me.
00:51:57Stay away from him.
00:51:59Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:03Dad, stop!
00:52:04Don't you touch my family.
00:52:07I'll stay away.
00:52:08I'll stay away.
00:52:09Come on, you don't mean that.
00:52:12I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:15I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:21I hate everything about you.
00:52:23I hate all of it.
00:52:24I don't want any part of it.
00:52:27So Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:31Haley!
00:52:36Fuck this.
00:52:37That's me.
00:52:40No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:43Ever since mom died, you've turned into this cold patriarch.
00:52:46Haley, not dad's real love.
00:52:48Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:49I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:53Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:03Hi, Haley.
00:53:04I'm Emma.
00:53:05I know who you are.
00:53:06Right.
00:53:07I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:12So I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:15Goodness new.
00:53:16Okay.
00:53:18Okay.
00:53:20Oh, wow.
00:53:22Thanks, Emma.
00:53:23Okay, bye.
00:53:29One down, one to go.
00:53:31You're so cool.
00:53:33I know, Emma.
00:53:34Want to go to prom?
00:53:36Why not?
00:53:38Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:53:44Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:46Hi, Max.
00:53:47And Max's friend.
00:53:48Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:50Cole's grounded.
00:53:51Oh, he is?
00:53:53But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:53:56What can I say, Max?
00:53:58Actions have consequences.
00:54:00Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:03Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:08We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:11Cole?
00:54:12My son, Cole?
00:54:14Reviewing budgets.
00:54:15He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:18Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:20And we just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop
00:54:22so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:35Go away!
00:54:40Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:43Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:44I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:47Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:49What's going on?
00:54:51Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:53You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:54You can be together.
00:54:55Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:00No.
00:55:01I'll tell her myself.
00:55:03Stick me in your car.
00:55:11Welcome to the wizard.
00:55:14Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:16I just need some time alone.
00:55:22I'm fine.
00:55:25Open the door.
00:55:27Wait, what?
00:55:29He's here?
00:55:37It's you.
00:55:39I should have given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:43Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the bitter beginning.
00:55:46My dad threatened to follow your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:51I was.
00:55:51Look, I got my inheritance.
00:55:53And I can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:08Haley, I understand that this changes things.
00:56:13If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:32Nicole, I love you.
00:56:34You do?
00:56:36Yes, you idiot.
00:56:38I've loved you for months.
00:56:40I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though, because I had to be loyal to him.
00:56:46But you're him.
00:56:48You didn't expect her.
00:56:50I, I mean, I, I always hoped it was you.
00:56:55Until you hoped?
00:56:57Yes.
00:56:58I hoped it was you.
00:57:00You were always there for me.
00:57:04That and, you're really fucking hot.
00:57:11Hey, uh, one of those things I said we could do.
00:57:16Here we go.
00:57:17Yeah.
00:57:20Take my clothes off.
00:57:22I'm getting there, don't worry.
00:57:23Mm-hmm.
00:57:26Okay.
00:57:27I'm so real you.
00:57:28Just be on me.
00:57:31I'm so real you.
00:57:34Hmm.
00:57:34Oh, oh, oh.
00:57:37Oh, oh, oh.
00:57:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:57:41Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:57:52I'll get sex with sex with me specifically.
00:57:54I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:57:58All right. All right, that's fair.
00:58:00I'll, uh, I'll take that as a warning.
00:58:07What is my life now?
00:58:09Am I being nice to Cole Eggman's?
00:58:11Mm, no, God, no.
00:58:12I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:17No, I'll just, I'm just lost behind it.
00:58:20There's always been lost behind it.
00:58:21I'll see you in a minute.
00:58:23Stop it.
00:58:26Um, say, is it promenade?
00:58:31I think you know if it's promenade.
00:58:34Okay.
00:58:35But the real question is, do you got a date?
00:58:40Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:42Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of gave me to the gym.
00:58:46Oh, God, please don't mention his name again. I don't want to hear it.
00:58:49Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice.
00:58:51But I don't even have a dress.
00:58:54Waiter.
00:58:59I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:03Who would have guessed?
00:59:07I thought only the best for my princess.
00:59:11Where did you get that?
00:59:13Uh, I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to
00:59:20prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:24Of course they'll go to prom with you.
00:59:31Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
00:59:34Cole, are you here?
00:59:36Cole, are you here?
00:59:40Mr. Edmonds, you can't just barge into my house like this.
00:59:43I see you, Cole. You are in big trouble.
01:00:01Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:04You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:10Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:22What do you think?
01:00:27My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:00:32Uh, uh, uh.
01:00:33I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:36You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:3920 more minutes.
01:00:40I want 10.
01:00:42Deal.
01:00:45Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:00:50I hear we have a winner.
01:00:53And your 2026 prom queen is...
01:00:58Jen Longfellow.
01:00:59No.
01:01:02Thank you!
01:01:03Oh, my God!
01:01:04Thank you guys so much.
01:01:07Seriously, this makes the world to me.
01:01:08I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:12Oh, this is just the perfect moment.
01:01:16Oh, my God.
01:01:19That's Haley and Cole.
01:01:22Haley's fine.
01:01:23Since where did you go?
01:01:24Yeah, it's fine.
01:01:26Yes.
01:01:28Hey, or, uh, most time that's up.
01:01:31No.
01:01:32But who cares?
01:01:35Hell yeah.
01:01:36Woo!
01:01:39Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:01:41Dang it.
01:01:42Language.
01:01:43I am the queen, okay?
01:01:44She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:47Come on, everyone say it with me.
01:01:49Pervy princess, pervy princess, pervy princess.
01:01:53Woo!
01:01:57Wait, wait, wait, what are those?
01:02:00Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:02:02Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:05His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:09Don't worry, daddy.
01:02:10If I can't have it, no one can.
01:02:14I'm gonna destroy Hayley Roth's life.
01:02:16Is this real?
01:02:18Jen's crazy.
01:02:21Who did this?
01:02:22Who did this?
01:02:26What?
01:02:26You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was gonna hack your phone?
01:02:30You little shit!
01:02:32You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama.
01:02:41But, quite frankly, you are the worst.
01:02:45And I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy.
01:02:49You can't do that!
01:02:51I'm the principal, so, uh, yes, I can.
01:03:02There was no internship!
01:03:05You lied to me!
01:03:18Oh, my princess finally has a crown.
01:03:22Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:24Oh, yeah, no can do.
01:03:27All I have to offer is a lowly knight with a chip on his shoulder and an awesome sense of
01:03:33humor.
01:03:33Ooh, how can I refuse?
01:03:41Oh, no, that's my dad.
01:03:45We are going home right now.
01:03:48You disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:03:50Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:03:53You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name,
01:03:57yet you can't see I've already become that man.
01:04:01And it's because of Hayley.
01:04:02And you can accept that, or I'll make my own path.
01:04:05And best believe me, I can.
01:04:08I'll say this.
01:04:10It's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:15Joy prime.
01:04:23I am so proud of you.
01:04:26I can't have done with all you being by my side.
01:04:29That was terrifying.
01:04:31It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before.
01:04:34Well, so...
01:04:35I love you, Bella Quinn.
01:04:37I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:04:39Oh, my God, I gotta change that username.
01:04:41Yeah, we do.
01:04:42I love you.
01:04:47I love you.
01:04:48Thanks, Angela!
01:04:50Yeah, you do.
01:04:54Thanks for inviting us.
01:04:55You're pastel.
01:04:56we didn't focus on it.
01:04:56Whoa.
01:04:56What did you do?
01:04:57You mimicking the談?
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