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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin, dangerously hot, is equipped.
00:00:18You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:32You know who I really am. I'm Valleyqueen33.
00:00:35Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275.
00:00:39Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:42You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:43You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:45Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:55Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:01Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:09In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:11I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:14but on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:16I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:23Forget your training wheels.
00:01:26At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:44I have my knight's special talisman.
00:01:49I have my knight's special talisman.
00:01:49It's ruined.
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:04Oh my gosh, it's Cole!
00:02:05He's so hot.
00:02:10Hey!
00:02:12What is wrong with you?
00:02:13Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:16Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:18What are you with me, son?
00:02:20What are you talking about?
00:02:22Why?
00:02:24I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:26No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:29You just broke something that's really important to me.
00:02:32Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts by a cop.
00:02:34Okay?
00:02:37You should know that.
00:02:38I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:41You were a...
00:02:42Eh...
00:02:45Asshole!
00:02:50Alright.
00:02:51I broke something of yours.
00:02:54Sure, but...
00:02:55Hey!
00:02:56You got my attention.
00:02:59So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:07Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:10Have a good day.
00:03:13Don't do it!
00:03:15I got a hot mess energy.
00:03:17Hey!
00:03:20Oh, fuck!
00:03:23Now we're even.
00:03:24My laptop better not be broken.
00:03:27I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:33You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:37You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39I'm going to make every classroom,
00:03:42every hallway,
00:03:44and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:48I'm going to make your life a living hell.
00:03:51What's going on?
00:03:52Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:53Now Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:55Yeah, idiot.
00:03:56I can see that.
00:03:59I just met an unhinged person.
00:04:01Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:04Same.
00:04:05Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:07Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:11Cole, do you need help?
00:04:13I can help you.
00:04:16The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:17This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:21But he's not your Cole.
00:04:22Shut up, Lindsey.
00:04:24He's not yet.
00:04:26Come in.
00:04:28Hi.
00:04:29I'm Jen.
00:04:30And this is Lindsey.
00:04:32Hi.
00:04:34I'm Hailey.
00:04:35So nice to meet you.
00:04:36You have first day jitters?
00:04:37That's totally understandable.
00:04:39We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:41And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:42Come in.
00:04:43Okay.
00:04:44Let's go.
00:04:48There you go.
00:04:50Thanks so much.
00:05:12You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:14Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:22Guacamole wizard.
00:05:24Wow.
00:05:24What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:27It's a robot.
00:05:28Get it back.
00:05:29Hold on.
00:05:31Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:36Send.
00:05:37Here.
00:05:37Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:42So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:45I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:46At least check on me.
00:05:48Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:50Ah, chill, please.
00:05:54No way.
00:05:56What is it?
00:05:57Oh, Belle Queen goes to the school.
00:06:04Please ignore that.
00:06:05Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:08Send.
00:06:12What is wrong with you?
00:06:14You messed with Cole Edmunds and you're going to mess with me.
00:06:17Edmunds?
00:06:17What?
00:06:19You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:21Wow.
00:06:22You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:26Stop recording me!
00:06:29Jen is a new girl.
00:06:31Wait.
00:06:32Is the new girl Valley Queen?
00:06:36There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:38Could it be...
00:06:39Jen?
00:06:42Ew.
00:06:46Your enemy is our enemy, Cole.
00:06:48And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:51No chances, Jen.
00:06:53So is it.
00:06:54She does look kinda cute.
00:06:58She does.
00:06:59She does.
00:07:03Please ignore that.
00:07:04Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:07What was I thinking?
00:07:08Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:14Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:16Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:17Just keep walking.
00:07:18You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:22My name's Hayley.
00:07:24Wow.
00:07:24Hayley.
00:07:25I think you, uh...
00:07:27You missed a spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:31What a coincidence!
00:07:33So did you!
00:07:34Oh no!
00:07:37Oh!
00:07:38Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:39I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:41You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:47Whoever ends up with her must have failed an eye exam.
00:08:02I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:04Something happened and I lost the game.
00:08:06I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:08I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:11And what is this?
00:08:13What I think it is, is I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:19As more than just friends.
00:08:22Oh, thank God.
00:08:23I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:25You're my soulmate.
00:08:27Like, I like you so much.
00:08:28Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:32I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:34Wait, really?
00:08:36Yeah.
00:08:37Get ready.
00:08:43Okay.
00:08:44No face.
00:08:46Just the boobs.
00:08:48Is it a bad idea?
00:08:49But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:51PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:53All the kids do this.
00:08:55You'll love it.
00:09:00This lighting hates me.
00:09:02Come on, Hayley.
00:09:04Confidence.
00:09:04You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:11Okay.
00:09:12Okay.
00:09:12Yeah.
00:09:13That's actually kind of...
00:09:18Oh my God.
00:09:20Seriously?
00:09:21Hello?
00:09:22Anyone?
00:09:24Don't look at me!
00:09:28Don't look at me!
00:09:29We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:31I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:33Get out!
00:09:34Now!
00:09:35Fine.
00:09:37Out!
00:09:37Damn it!
00:09:42Come on.
00:09:58I don't see anything else.
00:10:01That's my story, man.
00:10:01And I had like a message.
00:10:01It's a bit of me.
00:10:02Oh no, boy.
00:10:04Yeah, it's too long.
00:10:04And, you know, you're the next day.
00:10:04Oh, boy.
00:10:05Oh, boy.
00:10:15you're helping me
00:10:16I won't, I didn't point on it, but here we are
00:10:26excuse you, these boobs are for someone else
00:10:28we're not a little boyfriend, do we?
00:10:30that is shocking
00:10:31yeah, actually
00:10:32and he'd probably kill you right now if he saw you were flirting with me
00:10:35flirting? yeah, don't lie to yourself
00:10:37I've got a girlfriend too
00:10:38my thoughts and prayers to her
00:10:39funny
00:10:41okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen
00:10:44and go her separate ways?
00:10:46fine by me
00:10:49oh, I know
00:10:51a lot of the purple bra, by the way
00:10:53I like it a weird way
00:10:55I mean, not even my type
00:10:56but, you know, power theory
00:10:58or whatever
00:10:59would you just get out of here?
00:11:09hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:12Jen, red alert
00:11:14Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting
00:11:16I think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:21don't be a coward
00:11:22just send it
00:11:23Jen
00:11:27oh my god
00:11:29here goes nothing
00:11:38still no response?
00:11:40don't freak out
00:11:40he's probably just busy
00:11:46give it back
00:11:46give it back
00:11:46why?
00:11:47you don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:50oh, this is actually a really good photo
00:11:52honestly, it's so good
00:11:53that I think the whole school should see it
00:11:55did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:57mm-hmm
00:11:57got it
00:12:00what are you doing?
00:12:11what are you doing?
00:12:15oh my god
00:12:16oh my god
00:12:18oh my god
00:12:21holy shit
00:12:29yo, what's going on?
00:12:31dude, your enemy's nude
00:12:32just got put up on the big screen
00:12:34what?
00:12:34yeah
00:12:49come on
00:12:50let's see if these dudes are photoshopped
00:12:54stop, delete it, please
00:12:56delete it
00:13:07oh my brave knight
00:13:09I wish you were here with me right now
00:13:16oh my god
00:13:17oh, cool
00:13:18your enemy's kind of hot
00:13:21girl
00:13:21since you're so into slutty photos
00:13:23why don't we just go ahead and go full nude
00:13:28Jen, no
00:13:29no, no, no, no
00:13:30Jen, stop
00:13:30pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink
00:13:33change, dress, dress, dress, dress, dress, dress, dress, dress, dress, dress, dress
00:13:48My school enemy is my allied girlfriend?
00:13:55Stop it!
00:14:05Hey, you okay?
00:14:10Give that to me.
00:14:18Now give the phone back, Jen.
00:14:20What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:28How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school? Not good, huh?
00:14:31Now if you don't delete it off your phone, I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:35And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:38Why are you even defending her? She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:43Haley's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:46And if you mess with her, you mess with me. You hear me?
00:14:53Haley, are you?
00:14:54Cole is on my side now? Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:14:58I just need to be alone.
00:15:00Haley!
00:15:05Cole is a rich asshole, and he said we were enemies.
00:15:09But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:15Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:17Love you, Mom.
00:15:19Wait, Mom.
00:15:24Do people change?
00:15:27Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:34Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:53Tough day, huh?
00:15:55There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria. They're my favorite.
00:16:00Noted. Is that all?
00:16:01The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:04I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:09Oh, I'm really proud of you.
00:16:11And then there's this guy.
00:16:13He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:17It's so confusing.
00:16:18Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:24I like you. Only you.
00:16:31I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:34You did?
00:16:34Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:36I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:38That sounds amazing.
00:16:40When? With?
00:16:41About after school, at the balcony.
00:16:43I'll bring followers.
00:16:45Deal.
00:16:54I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:06Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:15Call me father.
00:17:16I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:19Defending that nobody.
00:17:21Haley girl.
00:17:22He was not a nobody dad.
00:17:23Are those for her?
00:17:29What the fuck?
00:17:33What the fuck?
00:17:34I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:36Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:39That whole family is trash.
00:17:41Stay away from her.
00:17:43And what if I say no?
00:17:44Stay away from Haley, Cole.
00:17:46Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:48What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:52I'm almost 18.
00:17:53Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:55I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:00safe.
00:18:01You're sick.
00:18:03It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:11Oh, hi.
00:18:13I'm Haley.
00:18:14Yes.
00:18:15Mm-hmm.
00:18:16So nice to meet you.
00:18:18God.
00:18:19I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:21But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:26Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:28You're so nice.
00:18:33Guacamole wizard.
00:18:35Ew.
00:18:39Guacamole wizard.
00:18:40Ew.
00:18:42You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:45Pathetic.
00:18:45Maybe he's married.
00:18:47Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:49And maybe he's sitting on his bike video.
00:18:53I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:56Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:18:58Oh, no.
00:18:59We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:00We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:02And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:06Eat it.
00:19:20Call me.
00:19:21So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:26You're a maid's daughter, so you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:30Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:32Oh, and by the way, Nicole's not going to come save you.
00:19:35Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:37Like me.
00:19:42I'm nothing like you.
00:19:47Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Cole again?
00:19:51Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:54Pick it up.
00:19:56Cole, we were kidding.
00:19:57It's ketchup.
00:19:58Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:04Take out of your tone and record this.
00:20:10Hey, man.
00:20:13Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hailey anymore?
00:20:15Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:17Because I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:20You want to hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:25I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:30I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:33I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:35Got it?
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:36Let's go.
00:20:45Uh, thank you.
00:20:54Wow.
00:20:56Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:00Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:02I just...
00:21:04I happened to see you.
00:21:06Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:08Yeah.
00:21:09My boyfriend, actually.
00:21:13Well, he...
00:21:14He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:16Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:20Maybe you got into it nice today.
00:21:22Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:26You thought we were enemies.
00:21:28I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:31Am I that annoying?
00:21:32Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:35Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Ednaz?
00:21:37Because it's not gonna work.
00:21:38I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:46How'd that online boyfriend years make you fall for her?
00:21:53He...
00:21:53He makes me feel safe.
00:21:56You wouldn't understand that, though.
00:22:02You don't understand better than you think.
00:22:05Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:10I see...
00:22:11How you touch him like this.
00:22:22If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see.
00:22:26No, my...
00:22:28My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:33In the game.
00:22:36Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:39In the game, huh?
00:22:43Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:49Are you that slow in the game, too?
00:22:53I can see why he likes you.
00:23:04I can't do this.
00:23:07I love my boyfriend.
00:23:08And you will never understand that.
00:23:10He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:13He loves me for who I am.
00:23:16That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:20I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:30Wait. It couldn't be.
00:23:34Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:39There's nothing.
00:23:40Cole, who are you?
00:23:44What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:46It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:51Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:54You live such a tough life.
00:24:00What was I thinking?
00:24:01We are from two different worlds.
00:24:03He just wants to play with me.
00:24:05But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:12Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:13I got into a car accident.
00:24:16Really? Are you okay?
00:24:18You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:20He was right.
00:24:21Who?
00:24:22Nobody.
00:24:23Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:24I want to come visit you.
00:24:26No, no, you can't. I look miserable now.
00:24:28You need to see me in style.
00:24:30Fine, if you say so.
00:24:33So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:35Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:37We send the fireworks wild.
00:24:41Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:44Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:01Oh, you.
00:25:02Oh, me.
00:25:04Why is she so lucky?
00:25:06Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:09People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:12I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:14Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:21You finished it?
00:25:23It's okay.
00:25:24We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:26I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:27Why?
00:25:27I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:30Like, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:33What is he trying to do?
00:25:35It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:38I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:42Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:53So.
00:25:54Are you going to prom?
00:25:56Okay, well, I don't know.
00:25:58So you have a date.
00:26:01Or shall I say a victim?
00:26:03Are you jealous of me?
00:26:05Me? Jealous?
00:26:06No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:07Oh, because I think you so secretly want to be.
00:26:10You are so full of yourself.
00:26:12You can do this on your own.
00:26:13Yeah.
00:26:16No way.
00:26:18It's a self-locking door.
00:26:20Really?
00:26:21The squirm is going to be back in an hour.
00:26:22I'm sure it'll be fine.
00:26:23I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:26Sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:28I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:31Or maybe try something new.
00:26:34We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:36Yeah.
00:26:46That was my first kiss.
00:26:50My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:53It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:07You're really good at this.
00:27:09Why did I want you to regret it?
00:27:11You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:28Anyway, I've been wanting back a lot more than you think.
00:27:32So you want me?
00:27:36I want you.
00:27:37I think you know how much I want you.
00:27:42Do you want me?
00:27:44I want you.
00:27:50Oh shit!
00:27:54Anyone in here?
00:27:58Oh my god, how long have you two been in here?
00:28:00I really need to change this lock.
00:28:02Are you two okay?
00:28:04Yeah.
00:28:05Yeah, we're good.
00:28:06I think so.
00:28:07We're okay.
00:28:15You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:16What didn't happen?
00:28:18Hey, wait.
00:28:19It's just hormones.
00:28:21Jake.
00:28:22Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:25Relax, I'm not dead.
00:28:26Wait.
00:28:27Car accident?
00:28:28Guacamole wizard?
00:28:34I gotta go.
00:28:43Guacamole wizard?
00:28:44Huh?
00:28:47Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:49Do I know you?
00:28:51Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:53Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:55Or he heard something about Cole?
00:28:58You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:01She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:03She was in a real car accident.
00:29:05And according to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:08I can't take this anymore.
00:29:09Cole, wait.
00:29:12Oh shit.
00:29:17What's up, guys?
00:29:18Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:21Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:24Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:28Hey!
00:29:28I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:31They're your favorite.
00:29:33Right?
00:29:35How did you know that?
00:29:37Tough day, huh?
00:29:38There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:40They're my favorite.
00:29:42He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:44Could he?
00:29:50The truth is, um...
00:29:51A dickhead?
00:29:54You gotta say, get out of your bro.
00:29:55You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:05There it goes again.
00:30:06Cole is jealous.
00:30:08We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:09We don't have a problem.
00:30:11We don't have a problem.
00:30:13Right?
00:30:14Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:17Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:22I have the ball now.
00:30:23Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:27Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:30Maybe I can use that.
00:30:34Jake!
00:30:35Hey!
00:30:36What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:40Wait, seriously?
00:30:41Yeah.
00:30:42Just one little catch.
00:30:43You have to pretend to like Haley Roth.
00:30:47Alright, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:50If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:54I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:30:58But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:02You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:04I'm thinking.
00:31:05About the report, or about him?
00:31:06Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:08We literally made out of a store dream.
00:31:11Maybe I've known Jake longer.
00:31:13No, you don't.
00:31:14How do you know that?
00:31:15You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:17Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:19You have no idea.
00:31:25Oh my God, is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:41Haley, someone's here to see you.
00:31:54Are you asking me to prom?
00:31:57Too cheesy?
00:31:58No, it's cute.
00:32:01The accident?
00:32:02The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:04He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:05So, um, what do you think?
00:32:08You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:10I...
00:32:11I should feel happy.
00:32:13But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:16Hey, can we not?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:22Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:25My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:28And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:30Wow.
00:32:31That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:34That's weak shit?
00:32:36Is this weak shit?
00:32:39Oh my God!
00:32:47Wow.
00:32:49He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:56Wait, I can't.
00:32:57Colt, put me down.
00:32:58Put me down.
00:32:59Put me down.
00:33:00Put me down.
00:33:02Don't do that again.
00:33:15New couple alert.
00:33:18Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:19Why do you hate me so much, Cole?
00:33:21You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:22And if you'd realize and give me a chance, I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:27Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:30I might say yes.
00:33:33Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:40We're both hot.
00:33:41And we're both rich.
00:33:43And our dads have been in business, like, forever.
00:33:45So.
00:33:46How romantic.
00:33:47I think I'll pass.
00:33:50You're gonna regret this, Cole Edmonds.
00:33:55Oh, here they come.
00:33:57If I message Corcomole Wizard, I wonder if Jake's phone were ding.
00:34:03What should we wear to prom?
00:34:06Send us.
00:34:15I'll talk to you later.
00:34:17I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:18Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:19Bye.
00:34:20He's so different.
00:34:22Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:26Haley?
00:34:36Geez.
00:34:43Here, I'll get it.
00:34:49Here we are.
00:34:50You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:52I don't care.
00:34:53I do care.
00:34:56Here we are.
00:35:13You don't put a prom with Jake.
00:35:15I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:17He doesn't even know you.
00:35:19And you do?
00:35:20How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:22That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:24Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:28I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:30The first day.
00:35:32You were watching me?
00:35:33I don't know.
00:35:35I don't know.
00:35:36I don't know.
00:35:44good.
00:35:45I don't know you.
00:35:54Good job.
00:35:55Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:35:58Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:00Obviously I do.
00:36:01Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:04Um, what do I do?
00:36:08I've got a few ideas.
00:36:13Hey, look.
00:36:16Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:17Alright, I promise.
00:36:18Yeah? Really, like who?
00:36:20I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:24And you.
00:36:25But you're not asking me.
00:36:28Hey.
00:36:29Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:31Hey, Hal.
00:36:32Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:37The other night?
00:36:38Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:43You're so sexy.
00:36:45Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:48I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:36:57And she's a real tiger in the pep room.
00:37:00Oh!
00:37:01Oh, shit, look up!
00:37:03Oh, shit!
00:37:04Oh, shit!
00:37:19Stop, guys! Stop it! Stop! Stop!
00:37:23What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:27Shit, it's Principal Stevens. I've got to save Cole. I mean, Jake. I've got to save Jake.
00:37:38Oh my god! Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry!
00:37:42Hayley Rock, that's detention. After school, don't be late.
00:37:49Oh my god, what are you doing here?
00:38:05I'm going to keep you company. It's the least I could do if you saved my ass today.
00:38:11The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:14Oh, sure. So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:23No. He lied about that. I don't know why, though.
00:38:26Good. You know, father that asshole, every time he looks at you, makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:33Thinking about him touching you, kissing you. I could kill him.
00:38:40Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:45Okay, fine. I won't.
00:38:49Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:54Okay, everyone. Let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:04Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:08No.
00:39:25Sorry!
00:39:27I tripped.
00:39:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:29Jet!
00:39:30What? It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:36They're dead.
00:39:37They're both dead.
00:39:39Oh.
00:39:40How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:45Oh.
00:39:46What are you, are you almost crying?
00:39:49It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:53Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:06What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:09Mrs. Gorman, it's burning!
00:40:10Mr. Edmonds!
00:40:11Oh, please. It's baking soda and water. You're fine.
00:40:14Detention. Today, after school.
00:40:17Shh.
00:40:29Jake, hey.
00:40:30Oh, uh, sorry. Gotta get to student council.
00:40:36Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:39The rice trick?
00:40:42Yeah.
00:40:44You don't know about the...
00:40:47Come on.
00:41:00Hey.
00:41:01Um, Ella.
00:41:03It's Emma.
00:41:05Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:06Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:10Amazing.
00:41:16Hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:19We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:22No, it's not just the phone or the laptop. It means... it means I can't...
00:41:28Can't what?
00:41:31I talked to a friend online.
00:41:34He's really important to me.
00:41:38And I'm sure... you're really important to him.
00:41:52You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and...
00:41:56Big ol' ego and rich kid bravron.
00:41:59Okay, okay. I... I get it.
00:42:04You're kind of sweet.
00:42:10Hey, look at that.
00:42:12Oh, my God!
00:42:13Thank you!
00:42:15Oh, my God!
00:42:17You're a miracle worker.
00:42:24Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:26You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:28Shut up, Ella.
00:42:29It's Emma.
00:42:31It's Emma.
00:42:37Oh, my God.
00:42:45Oh, morning, valley whore!
00:42:48How are things in the castle?
00:42:55Valley whore?
00:42:56What are they talking about?
00:43:04I think the two characters in the castle...
00:43:05I think the three characters in the castle...
00:43:09Is they?
00:43:12Guacamole wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:16Guacamole wizard.
00:43:17I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:20Oh, my God.
00:43:21someone hacked my castle claimers messages touch me guacamole wizard yeah hey valley
00:43:27whore show him what you really like
00:43:48here you go here this is for you
00:43:54oh do you like what i've done with the place you hacked
00:43:58my laptop oh no it wasn't me it was that kid ella but i definitely got to reap the benefits
00:44:04what kind of incel sex over a video game hayley what are you catfishing this guy
00:44:09no i'm not trying to catfish him hey everyone i think valley whore is a cat
00:44:13because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you
00:44:48i thought i'd send the janitor some time
00:44:54jake hey now's the time tell them tell them what that's your guacamole wizard
00:45:03who's guacamole wizard here you go
00:45:10oh my god did you think that jake was your secret little online boyfriend oh sweetie i've been
00:45:16bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you what why would you do that oh i don't know
00:45:21cole why do you think i would do that jake is this true have you been pretending to like me
00:45:28this whole
00:45:29time sorry it was nothing personal
00:45:38yeah nothing personal
00:45:46all right all right all right enough what in the world is going on here is that a leaf blower
00:45:52that's all him okay well you both have detention so
00:46:01let me get this straight you stole a leaf blower and defaced school property it wasn't school property
00:46:07dad it was jen's cyber boy spreadsheets jesus christ how does she always get away with this
00:46:13shit could it be because her father's running for senate colt do you think that's what it could be
00:46:17who cares i care and i hear she's got an eye for you so you're taking her to prom what
00:46:25over my dead
00:46:26body oh because you're like that hayley girl i'm firing her mother right now no no please don't
00:46:33please then you're taking jen to prom max's dad called he said he's having a party tomorrow
00:46:39you're gonna go and you're gonna ask jen to prom end of discussion
00:46:49come on you big coward message him just do it just
00:46:56you must think i'm the biggest idiot
00:47:05i could never think that
00:47:12but i thought you were jake please can't you just tell me now i think i've had enough public
00:47:16humiliation for one lifetime
00:47:22i heard that guy max is throwing a party tomorrow if you want i'll meet you there
00:47:38okay you got this haley just take a deep breath you got this you got this
00:47:47you look beautiful
00:47:51thank you mom
00:48:10hey
00:48:11hey hayley i'm glad you came you look so pretty
00:48:14hi hey max your house is gorgeous i mean it's just my parents blood honey you know they're upstairs
00:48:21watching the last of us right now they don't care about get drunk girl
00:48:38what are you doing here valley whore
00:48:52jen why are you doing this what have i even done to you to me oh i'm actually concerned about
00:48:58our whole
00:48:58community because those little cringy messages on your castle game those are concerning actually kind
00:49:04you're kind of a bit of a perv did you know that hayley
00:49:08she's a little pervy princess pervy princess
00:49:19hey let's get perfect tonight leave me alone
00:49:23is there a fire okay we set off the alarm
00:49:35is there a fire okay
00:49:40is
00:49:40is
00:49:41is
00:49:41is
00:49:41is
00:50:04oh
00:50:17are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend okay cole is not
00:50:24him anyways we are going to the prom together no i'm not yes you are it's okay you can be
00:50:31honest
00:50:32about your feelings so you too this whole time oh my god i am such an idiot hey wait
00:50:48please at least take my jackets you know if you really wanted to humiliate me you didn't have to
00:50:53go to the extra effort jen was doing just fine i wasn't trying to humiliate you then what were you
00:50:57trying to do i guess you obviously the white clothes were just an added bonus i knew i shouldn't
00:51:04have trusted you and what about guacamole wizard what are you
00:51:18who is that just the devil get in the car
00:51:26i'm not going to ask you again cole get in the car thank you just act normal for once and
00:51:31please
00:51:31introduce yourself to hayley i already assumed that's who this was i'm a servant so you're the
00:51:39scholarship trash that's hell bent on ruining cole's life well i've got news for you young lady my son
00:51:46is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family and that's not you you will be forgotten
00:51:53you're a maid's daughter and your mom works for me stay away from him or i swear to god your
00:52:01mother
00:52:01is fire dad stop don't you touch my family i'll stay away hey come on you don't mean that
00:52:12i hate everything you stand for i hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what
00:52:19you think a good person looks like i hate everything about you i hate all of it i don't want
00:52:26any part of
00:52:26it so cole go with your dad hayley
00:52:40no laptop and no phone for a week ever since mom died you've turned into this cold patriarch
00:52:46hayley not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable i promised your mother i would
00:52:51make you a success son even if it meant saving you from yourself
00:53:03hi hayley i'm emma i know who you are right i just felt kind of bad that i accidentally helped
00:53:10jen ruin your life so i wanted to return your laptop to you goodness new
00:53:20oh wow thanks emma okay bye
00:53:29one down one to go you're so cool i know emma want to go to prom why not let's get
00:53:38these lovers together
00:53:44oh
00:53:45hi mr edmund hi max and max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you cole's grounded
00:53:51oh he is but it was his 18th birthday today what can i say max actions have consequences
00:54:00birthday or no cole is grounded well that really sucks because he's uh also the president of the prom
00:54:08committee we're supposed to review budgets today cole my son cole reviewing budgets he's never
00:54:16reviewed a budget a day in his life well mr edmunds today could be that day and we just have
00:54:20to give
00:54:20him back this school sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important and very respectable
00:54:25budgetary work
00:54:35go away
00:54:40max what what are you guys doing here happy birthday cole i brought you my laptop and logged into your
00:54:46castle claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow what what's going on dude it's your 18th
00:54:52birthday you can tell haley who you are now you can be together just log into this stupid game and
00:54:57tell the girl who you love you really are no i'll tell her myself stick me in your car
00:55:10welcome all the wizard
00:55:14mom i'm fine i just need some time alone
00:55:25open the door wait what he's here
00:55:37it's you i should have given you this to a long time ago
00:55:43haley i've wanted to tell you who i was from the bitter beginning
00:55:46my dad threatened to follow your mom and i had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:51i was
00:55:51i got my inheritance and i can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose
00:56:08you're right
00:56:10i understand if this changes things if you don't love me the way you you live guacamole wizard but
00:56:19look i need you to know i love you
00:56:32cool i love you you do yes you idiot i've loved you for months i mean this whole guacamole wizard
00:56:42thing was so confusing though because i had to be loyal to him and but you're him you didn't
00:56:49expect her i i mean i i always hoped it was you until you hoped yes i hoped it was
00:56:59you you were
00:57:00always there for me you're really fucking hot hey uh one of those things i said we could
00:57:15do you ever go yeah i'll take my clothes off you're getting there don't worry
00:57:45okay so what do you think 10 out of 10 yeah yeah one two again i'll get sex with
00:57:53me specifically i've only ever had sex with you specifically all right all right that's fair
00:57:59i'll uh i'll take that as a one
00:58:07what is my life now am i being nice to cole eggnance
00:58:11oh god no i fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly and i'll just i'll just
00:58:18find it there's always been lust behind it there's always been lust behind it
00:58:21i'll see you in a minute no more
00:58:23stop it
00:58:26um
00:58:28i think you know if it's prom or not
00:58:33i don't know but the real question is do you got a date
00:58:40cole are you asking me to prom
00:58:42oh i would have asked you earlier but jay kind of gave me to the gym
00:58:46oh god please don't mention his name again i don't want to hear it
00:58:49yeah you don't have to ask me twice
00:58:51but i don't even have a dress
00:58:54later
00:58:59i just slept with cole edmonds and i'm in love with cole edmonds who would have guessed
00:59:07i thought only the best for my princess
00:59:11where did you get that
00:59:13uh i might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you
00:59:19might have wanted to go to prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:24of course i'll go to prom with you
00:59:31mr edmonds i didn't expect you to be here
00:59:34cole are you here
00:59:37cole are you here
00:59:40mr edmonds you can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:43i see you cole you are a big pro
01:00:01hey uh
01:00:03you almost done in there
01:00:04you try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:10okay i'm ready
01:00:22what do you think
01:00:27my god hayley you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
01:00:33i just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick you're not messing it up for at least
01:00:37twenty minutes
01:00:39twenty more minutes
01:00:40twenty more minutes
01:00:41i want ten
01:00:41i do
01:00:45thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes i hear we have a winner
01:00:53and your 2026 prom queen is jen long fellow thank you guys so much seriously this makes the world to
01:01:08me i mean like who else would win right oh this is just the perfect moment oh my god that's
01:01:19hailey and cole
01:01:42i am the queen okay she's just a little pervy princess come on everyone say it with me
01:01:49pervy princess
01:01:50pervy princess pervy princess
01:01:52pervy princess
01:01:56pervy princess
01:01:56wait wait wait wait wait wait what are those those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:01make cole edmunds fall in love with you his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:08don't worry daddy if i can't have him no one can i'm gonna destroy hayley rott's life is this real
01:02:18jen's crazy
01:02:21who did this who did this
01:02:26what you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone you little shit
01:02:32you know jen as the principal i'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama but quite
01:02:42frankly you are the worst and i think it's time that you are expelled from edmunds academy
01:02:49you can't do that i'm the principal so uh yes i can
01:03:02there was no winter chick you lied to me
01:03:12hailey catch
01:03:18oh my princess finally has her crown
01:03:22now all i need is my handsome prince
01:03:24oh
01:03:25yeah no can do
01:03:26all i have to offer
01:03:28is a lowly night with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:30and a awesome sense of humor
01:03:33oof
01:03:34how can i refuse
01:03:41oh no that's my dad
01:03:45we are going home right now
01:03:48you disobeyed me for the last time boy
01:03:50yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:52you talk all the time
01:03:54about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:03:57yet
01:03:58you can't see i've already become that man
01:04:01and it's because of hayley
01:04:02and you can accept that
01:04:04or i'll make my own path
01:04:05and best believe me i can
01:04:08i'll say this
01:04:10that's the most backbone i've ever seen in you cole
01:04:15enjoy pro
01:04:22i am so proud of you
01:04:26i can't have done with all you being by my son
01:04:29that was terrifying
01:04:31it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before though so
01:04:35i love you
01:04:36i love you guacamole wizard
01:04:39oh my god i gotta change that username
01:04:41yeah you do
01:04:42oh hey
01:04:42ah
01:04:43couches
01:04:45oh
01:04:46oh
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