Things get even crazier… 😂🔥 In The Young Offenders Season 5 Episode 6, the boys dive into another round of hilarious chaos, wild decisions, and unexpected trouble.
As everything spirals out of control, the comedy hits harder than ever.
👉 Watch now and don’t miss this fun episode!
#TheYoungOffenders #S05E06 #ENGLSUB #ComedySeries #FullEpisode
As everything spirals out of control, the comedy hits harder than ever.
👉 Watch now and don’t miss this fun episode!
#TheYoungOffenders #S05E06 #ENGLSUB #ComedySeries #FullEpisode
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TVTranscript
00:03People always say you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.
00:09And then you can get your friends to look after your family.
00:12The silly pigeon had run away forever and leave everybody behind.
00:18This made him a sad silly pigeon.
00:21It's a bit grim, no?
00:23I am a damn girlfriend when Dad died, so I don't understand.
00:26You know someone is a proper friend when they're there for you when you need them the most.
00:31Everyone needs a friend.
00:36Why?
00:38Where's mine?
00:39I only had enough money for one, so we're going to have to share.
00:41I'm so sick of this place.
00:44Cork is just a dead end.
00:46We're broke. We can't get jobs.
00:49We're still living at home with a annoying mime dickhead guard in the house.
00:52We can't even get any sleep because that baby is crying all the time.
00:56We always said we need to get out of this place and thrive.
01:00But here we are, still, years later, sharing a lolly.
01:03But what about Star, like?
01:04Well, you don't even have access to her.
01:06If we go abroad and make shit loads of money, you can prove yourself and be a proper dad.
01:11You'll never be able to do that here.
01:13No, you are right, you are right.
01:15I just, I obviously had to ask her or else I wouldn't be a good dad.
01:18All right, where do we go?
01:19All right.
01:21Tenerife.
01:22Tenerife.
01:22Tenerife.
01:22Think about it, boy.
01:23It's like going on holidays but you never have to come home.
01:25Yeah, and you could work in the sun, boy.
01:26And smoke cheap fags in Ireland.
01:28Exactly, boy.
01:29Yeah.
01:29Can you imagine living on an island?
01:32That would be unbelievable, boy.
01:34Tenerife's class.
01:35Surrounded by water.
01:36Sun reef.
01:37Here, we've got an announcement to me.
01:39We are moving to Tenerife.
01:46That's a great idea.
01:48Aw, thanks, Healy.
01:49No, it's not.
01:51You wouldn't your hole survive in Tenerife?
01:53It's better than surviving in this shit hole.
01:55We might actually thrive in Tenerife.
01:57Yeah.
01:57Conor, you can't go anywhere.
01:58The farther you go from this house, the more trouble you get in.
02:01You belong here.
02:02Even I have come to terms with that.
02:04All right?
02:05Can you do that somewhere else?
02:07No, I can't.
02:08All right?
02:08I'm up against Lara Gibson for this promotion and she is.
02:11Perfect.
02:12Not in a woman way.
02:14In a guard way.
02:17I just, uh...
02:19A story.
02:20Is that a crack?
02:21Conor there.
02:22Back, healy.
02:23Oh, boy.
02:29What was that for?
02:31For being a shit friend.
02:32What did you hit me for?
02:33Good to you by association.
02:35I got stuck in the floor of my house for two days.
02:38Two fucking days.
02:54Hey!
02:55Is there anybody there?
02:58It's not funny.
02:59It's not funny.
03:00Don't laugh.
03:01I almost soiled myself.
03:04I could have died on my own.
03:08And you didn't even show up for me.
03:09Billy, since when is it my responsibility to check if you're alive or not if I haven't seen you?
03:13Since we're friends, you'd show up for him though.
03:16Yeah, that's different.
03:17We always know where each other are so that would be impossible.
03:19Billy, why are you here?
03:20Did you come here just to punch us or what?
03:22No.
03:23Look, I've got this big job on and I was gonna offer you first refusal because we're friends.
03:31We are still friends, aren't we?
03:33Yeah, we're still friends.
03:34It's just...
03:35I have a hoist.
03:36It's in a whiskey distillery.
03:38Some of the bottles are sold for 20,000 euros each.
03:4120 grand?
03:42Holy shit.
03:43And they make a shit ton of them.
03:44They wouldn't even know if some of them weren't missing.
03:46And as far as the job is concerned, a fucking monkey could do it.
03:50That's what he told of you.
03:51Well, I'm not a monkey.
03:52I'm a premier.
03:52No, but honestly, it's the easiest money you're ever gonna make.
03:56Alright.
03:57We're in.
03:58Yeah, we're in.
04:00We.
04:00Yeah, we.
04:01Yeah, we.
04:01There's no we.
04:02Oh, he comes swanning back in like a...
04:05Like a...
04:06Like a fucking swan.
04:08No, no, no, no.
04:09Two man job.
04:10Me, you.
04:11Billy, I'm not doing it unless Jack survived.
04:12That's the plan.
04:13We're walking.
04:15Alright, but I don't wanna hear nothing from you about an equal split.
04:18Alright.
04:2033%, that's it.
04:22Each.
04:22Yeah, Grant.
04:23Not a chance, Billy.
04:24That's not fair at all.
04:25Yeah, no.
04:27That's it.
04:28Alright, fine.
04:29You're in?
04:35It's really dead, boy.
04:36It's really...
04:37I'm fairly nervous.
04:38I was only doing the hand thing.
04:39Yeah, it's kind of our thing, alright?
04:40Alright.
04:42Let's go to work.
04:45Come on, Jack.
04:46It's great.
04:47I'll say it again.
04:48I have a cousin who's working on the inside.
04:52And he's going to sneak us in.
04:55Like the Greeks did with that big Trojan horse thingy in Troy.
04:58Oh, yeah.
04:59What was that called again?
05:00Big sneaky wooden horse of Troy.
05:03Oh, yeah.
05:04Okay.
05:04What we're looking for are these beauties.
05:09Kilvara.
05:1050-year-old triple distilled whiskey.
05:14Very, very rare.
05:17That's for 20 grand.
05:18Once we have these, we get changed in to the security guard uniforms that my cousin has stashed for us.
05:26Then we set off the fire alarm and we just walk out the door in all the confusion.
05:33What's going on here?
05:34Oh, what's going on here?
05:35Nothing.
05:36We're, erm...
05:37Just playing chess.
05:38Yeah.
05:38They learn chess.
05:39With condiments.
05:41No, with these, erm, guys.
05:43Queen to C4 will be the next one.
05:45Yes.
05:45No, you can't.
05:47Sorry, no.
05:50They got it.
05:51Are we escaping this?
05:52Warn more time.
05:53Hurry.
05:55It sort of felt like we were in Ocean's Eleven.
05:58I haven't seen the first ten, but they made it look kind of sexy.
06:01Instead, we were in the dark, getting rolled around in old barrels and ended up with a load of splinters
06:05in our holes.
06:09Hurry.
06:11Hurry.
06:11Hurry up, Jack.
06:12Get down.
06:20Are you serious?
06:21Oh, shit.
06:23In and out.
06:24Easiest money you'll ever earn.
06:25A monkey could do it.
06:26Don't blame me.
06:27My cousin said the alarm was going to be deactivated all day Wednesday.
06:31Why, it's Tuesday.
06:33It's hardly a foolproof plan, alright, Billy?
06:35Are you calling me a fool?
06:36Well.
06:38Go, go, go, go, go.
06:42Hello?
06:44Who's there?
06:49Come out now.
06:51I have a taser.
06:53A taser?
06:53I know you're there.
06:55I can hear you.
06:57I can smell you.
06:59There's no point in hiding like a chicken shit.
07:02Who are you calling the chicken shit?
07:05She got you.
07:07Run!
07:08Hey!
07:09Better have your taser.
07:14Come on, man.
07:18We needed a change of plan.
07:20And if there's one thing me and Jack can do, it's blend in.
07:23Don't be afraid of going to get properly stuck into it.
07:30Everyone knows Americans can't drink till they're 21,
07:32so they have to come over here to learn how to do it properly.
07:35They've got to learn from the best, I suppose.
07:38Excuse me.
07:39This is a private tour for our American guests.
07:45Well, fully aware that it is a private tour, sir.
07:50My, uh, my friend and I here are Americans.
07:54What?
07:54That right.
07:55Kyle.
07:58G'day, man.
08:00I needed a guy for a piece, so I'll go a little loose.
08:04But back now.
08:05You're a what?
08:06I can't do Americans. Just go in there, huh?
08:08Please continue.
08:10Can you hurry up? We're going to the Blarney Stone early in the morning.
08:14Yeah, yeah. Always Blarney, isn't it?
08:17So we're going to take a sip?
08:19I can't believe you two pricks ran off and left me trapped in there.
08:24There's no point blaming it, you know, is it?
08:26Attention, there's been a break-in.
08:28The other look-up for three men acting suspiciously.
08:30We need to move over here as quickly as we possibly can.
08:36Good girl.
08:40Excusez-moi.
08:43Do you have a description?
08:44Yes. Two in their twenties and one in their fifties.
08:48Fifties? I'm in my prime fucking pricks.
08:51Copy that. That's them all right. They're on the tour.
08:53The cards are outside.
08:55Okay. Everybody be cool.
08:58Don't put your heads up in the air!
09:00That's a twenty-year-old triple distilled single-pound whiskey.
09:03Is that one of the good wines?
09:05Yeah.
09:06Where to keep the shitter wines?
09:07Middle shelf there.
09:13Ah!
09:15Jack, you take this one.
09:17Hands in the air!
09:18Do I move?
09:19Do I move?
09:20Hands up!
09:20Hands up!
09:21Relax!
09:22Relax!
09:23Keep your hands up!
09:26Operation nap time complete.
09:28Mm-hmm.
09:33Connor and Jack are out and the baby's asleep.
09:36We give the whole house to ourselves.
09:38Great, isn't it?
09:39Yeah.
09:41I'm going to polish my baton.
09:43Maybe I can polish your baton for you.
09:45Nah, you're grand.
09:46It's a specific technique.
09:47You've got to do these little circles, otherwise you get...
09:49For a guard, you are really bad at taking cues.
09:53Do you want to write?
09:54Yeah, of course.
09:55Yeah.
09:57Developing scenes here in Cork this evening as a robbery turns into a hostage situation.
10:02Three male suspects are holding a group of tourists hostage.
10:05Love, there are thousands of criminals in Cork, okay?
10:08Not every crime is Connor and Jack.
10:09Yeah, but I don't know how many of them have been paranoid.
10:11CTV footage from the scene shows the suspects.
10:15They have now been identified as Connor McLean.
10:17Tony!
10:19Oh, great.
10:21Look, Mum!
10:22Dad's on the telly!
10:23Jesus Christ!
10:25He's been out for five minutes!
10:32The tweet is so stupid of you!
10:34This is the guard, please.
10:35We have you surrounded.
10:37Look, they're going to want to negotiate.
10:39The most important thing is we don't let them get in our heads.
10:43Thanks.
10:43Connor, my name is Sergeant Gibson.
10:46No, let me talk to them, right?
10:48Why?
10:48You're so emotional.
10:50Aren't you?
10:51Fine.
10:51Yeah, fine.
10:51Go.
10:53Okay.
10:55All right.
10:57Connor speaking.
10:58Go ahead, Connor.
11:00I just wanted to get to Tenerife, all right?
11:02I didn't know this was going to happen.
11:03I just broke the cheekbone!
11:05I didn't mean to...
11:06Relax, relax.
11:07If they hear fear in your voice, they're going to know.
11:10They're going to think we're amateurs.
11:12Boy, we are amateurs.
11:13What they're going to need is clear and precise demands.
11:17Or else they're going to run in here and kill every one of us.
11:22Not all of us.
11:26Stay with me, Connor.
11:27They're still there.
11:29Connor again.
11:31We have some very clear and precise demands.
11:35We would like...
11:37Three...
11:39Park, eh?
11:40That's a motorbike, boy.
11:42And three motorbikes as well.
11:44That's going to take time to organise, Connor.
11:48No, boy, that's a good thing, that's a good thing.
11:49Say more weird shit than buy us time.
11:51We want three cork jerseys and...
11:54A portable tree.
11:56A portable tree.
11:57House.
11:58A portable tree house.
11:59And a plane to get us out of here.
12:01That can land on water.
12:02One of those planes that can land on water.
12:03So you can land like near an island.
12:05Yeah.
12:05The ones in kind of Indiana's world.
12:08I'll see what I can do.
12:09But in the meantime...
12:11As a sign of good faith.
12:12I'm going to need you to release two hostages, Connor.
12:15Just give them.
12:17Two of the most unhealthy looking ones.
12:20Who?
12:21Who?
12:22Who?
12:22Who?
12:24Who?
12:24Who?
12:24Who?
12:24Who?
12:25Who?
12:27I got here as soon as I could.
12:30Right.
12:31The little one trusts me now and he's scared.
12:33I'm in his head.
12:34Good work, Sergeant Gibson.
12:35What can I do to help?
12:36You can start by standing on the other side of that tape.
12:38He can't be involved considering his conflict of interests.
12:41I don't have conflicted interests.
12:43Two of the three suspects live with you.
12:45One of them is your stepson.
12:47If those two boys were curry, your arthole would be burning.
12:50Yeah, I can't eat curry, so the joke's on you, Gibson.
12:53She's right.
12:54Stand down.
12:55He's not my stepson, okay?
12:56He's my wife's fuck-up of a son, alright?
12:58That's just an unfortunate circumstance.
12:59My priority is my job.
13:01The missus doesn't look too happy to hear that.
13:06Nice, Tony.
13:08Mireille, I didn't mean that, okay?
13:14Come here, come here.
13:16I was thinking, okay?
13:17I've seen this thing on the telly, right?
13:18Where people fall in love with their kidnappers, okay?
13:20It's called Stock Down Syndrome, right?
13:22It must have been a bit old to me trying to get the shift.
13:25What?
13:25No, not the shift, GD, boy.
13:27I'm seeing if we can get them to like us, boy.
13:29Surely that's a good thing.
13:30Get them on our side.
13:31Carefully, how can we get them to like us?
13:34At the same point, all Irish people get foreigners to like them.
13:55Billy's uncle is actually Michael Collins.
13:57Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not the Michael Collins.
14:01Michael Collins, he used to have a chipper on Barrett Street.
14:08My stepmom's aunt...
14:10Yeah?
14:10...is from Donegal.
14:11So you, you are Irish?
14:15I love Ireland.
14:17It's so beautiful.
14:18It's a bit shit when you don't have any money.
14:20Come on, that's everywhere, sweetie.
14:22Donate ever no more!
14:24Well, you know, it's not home.
14:28Home is where you feel safe and complete.
14:32Besides, the water here gives me the squirts.
14:35Same.
14:35USA!
14:37USA!
14:38USA!
14:39Very real!
14:41Very real!
14:42Hey!
14:43What a chance, boy!
14:44That was the 20 grand bottle, you idiot!
14:47What?
14:47Sure doesn't taste like 20 grand.
14:49He wouldn't have used that one if you had told him, alright?
14:52Just relax.
14:53You just...
14:53Meant to be likeable, remember?
14:55Calm down.
14:56You just cost me 20 grand.
14:58Oh, why did I drag you two along?
15:01We didn't ask to come here, alright?
15:02You invited us.
15:03I was being a good friend, and look where that got me.
15:07Oh, a friend.
15:07Why, you throw punches around like it's confetti, alright?
15:10You're the worst friend I've ever had.
15:12You forgot all about me when he swanned back into town,
15:16and then you just mess up my heist.
15:19I'm not the one who triggered the alarm,
15:20because I can't tell the difference between Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
15:23Oh, watch it.
15:24Or what, boy?
15:25Oh, let me guess.
15:26You're gonna kick the shit out of us.
15:28I thought, you know what?
15:29Maybe Billy's alright.
15:30Maybe he says...
15:31Oh, and then you go full psycho Billy
15:32and make everyone around you suffer.
15:34Oh, here we go.
15:35The truth, is that what?
15:36Yeah?
15:36We're not friends now, are we?
15:37Oh, you want the truth, boys?
15:38Friends don't do bad shit to each other to make themselves feel good.
15:41Friends do good things to big each other off.
15:44You've never been a good friend in your entire life.
15:46Coyne.
15:46Coyne.
15:48Conor!
15:50Conor, come to the door, Conor.
15:51Ma'am.
15:52Ma'am.
15:56Ma'am, I'm sorry.
15:58I didn't think we were gonna get caught.
16:00What's the problem, Conor?
16:01You never think?
16:04All the things you've done, this is the worst.
16:07Hostages?
16:08This is only gonna end one way.
16:10We don't even have anything to show up for it and there's no way out, so...
16:13Look, we're gonna just turn ourselves in.
16:16What?
16:16Oh, but we can't do it.
16:17I'll never see star again.
16:18Ma'am's right.
16:19The only way to get out of this is to do the right thing.
16:24You better hope none of those hostages are hurt.
16:28They're not violent boys, okay?
16:29They're just idiots.
16:31They never hurt any of them.
16:33Is that right?
16:34Thanks for that.
16:38Wait, Con. Con.
16:40Remember the bedtime story I used to read you?
16:43Ma'am, I don't think now's the right time to be bringing up big boys to wheeze.
16:46Oh, shut up.
16:47Not that one.
16:48Do you remember the silly pigeon?
16:51Yeah.
16:52Con.
16:53I think you need to be the silly pigeon.
16:57But isn't that the one where the pigeon runs away and doesn't come back?
17:01Forever.
17:07Come on.
17:13What do you want?
17:14Fine.
17:15Can you put Star on the phone there, please?
17:17It's a bit cheeky calling from a crime scene asking to talk to Star.
17:20Sorry, I'm sorry.
17:21Okay, but...
17:23Me and Con, we messed up, alright?
17:25And we're gonna have to probably go away for a while.
17:27And it's not fair that you have to tell Star, so...
17:30Can you just put her on the phone? I should do it. I'm her dad.
17:34Star, come here.
17:38Yes, you're not okay.
17:41Hi Dad, I saw you on the TV.
17:44Hi there.
17:49Myself and Con are probably gonna have to go away for a little while, okay?
17:53Like a holiday?
17:54Yeah, yeah, like on a holiday, yeah.
17:56I'll go pack my swimming tugs in my bag.
18:00No, love.
18:04It's just a me and Con holiday.
18:07But I'm gonna miss you, alright?
18:08I really love you, Con.
18:11And I'll always have your back.
18:14I love you too, man.
18:16I love you to the moon, alright?
18:19And all the way back?
18:20All the way back, always.
18:23Because you're my star.
18:26I love you.
18:27I love you.
18:28I love you.
18:28I love you.
18:35Please tell me you talk some sense into him.
18:37If by sense you mean I told him to run.
18:38You can't be serious.
18:40I did the right thing for my son.
18:42If you can't support that, then...
18:45maybe I'm not right for you.
18:47Get into position.
18:51Conor!
18:52Conor!
18:54Conor, you're coming!
18:56Conor!
18:57They have guns.
18:58They're coming!
18:58Come on.
19:05Jesus lads, you gotta get out of here.
19:06There's no way out.
19:08No, no, there is one whale.
19:11Why did you say that earlier?
19:13I thought you were assholes before, like, but you're actually alright.
19:17See, I never had any friends...
19:18Yeah, yeah, okay, where is it?
19:20Oh, that barrel's fake.
19:22There's a ladder inside leads to a secret passage.
19:24And did you know?
19:25That passage actually dates from 1821.
19:28Yeah, shut up, I don't care.
19:31Just bad, and that's the way I am.
19:33Billy, now is not the time, alright?
19:35There is a ladder, there's a ladder!
19:37Shut up!
19:37Because I'm beginning to think I'd better off in prison.
19:41I mean, there's good food, great fights, regular bedtime.
19:47And if you've no friends, you don't tend to notice other people with theirs.
19:52Know what I mean?
19:55Come on, kind!
19:57There's no way around.
19:58We're going now.
19:59I'll hold them off.
20:06Goal!
20:07What's he doing?
20:08Being a friend.
20:12Pass the door, pass the door!
20:16I'm not going to get my way.
20:18I'm not going to get my way.
20:19I'm not going to get my way.
20:21I'm not going to get my way!
20:21I'm not going to get my way!
20:21Just because someone's self-destructive doesn't mean they're a Kicking.
20:24It all depends on when they decide to self-destructive.
20:28And done at the right time, it can be a gift to those they care about.
20:31I'm gonna get my way, I'm gonna get my way, I'm gonna get my way, and I'm going to hold
20:43Where are we going?
20:57Where are we going?
20:58Where are we going?
21:00I'm calling for you little rat!
21:05Stop right there!
21:07Keely boy, you have to let us go.
21:10I have to do what I have to do.
21:12Alright, but if you have to do what you have to do, then we have to do what we have
21:17to do.
21:26Punch me.
21:27What?
21:28What?
21:28This goes against everything that I stand for.
21:30But your mother is more important to me than anything.
21:33Ever since the first day of-
21:34I said punch me!
21:37Oh my God!
21:38Oh my God!
21:39Go away!
21:42Hey!
21:42You can't go out with you morons!
21:44You're surrounded!
21:45You're gonna go back inside and I-
21:46Don't worry!
21:48Thanks, come on!
21:48Thanks, come on!
21:49I'm leaving!
21:51You-
21:52You-
21:53Don't use the word open!
21:54I'm leaving!
21:55You-
21:58You-
21:59You-
21:59You-
21:59You-
22:04You-
22:06You-
22:06Oh for God's sake!
22:31I'm leaving!
22:34I'm leaving!
22:35I'm leaving!
22:48I'm leaving!
22:56I'm leaving!
22:59What?
23:03I'm leaving!
23:05What the fuck? Where the fuck are we?
23:07Where are we moving?
23:10I think we're on a ship.
23:12We're on a boat.
23:14Where are we?
23:16John, where are we going?
23:17I can't. I don't do well on the water.
23:20I know. I know. I understand.
23:21Okay, look.
23:23Stay calm, okay?
23:24I want to go home.
23:25I know.
23:25I think I'm...
23:26Hey, hey, hey.
23:27We have each other, okay?
23:28We have each other.
23:29I want to go home.
23:30I want to go home.
23:33I can't.
23:34We figured I'd drink that, okay?
23:36Relax. We need you to relax for a minute, okay?
23:38Look, we can't be going far.
23:39We must be going down to...
23:40Boy, that's smooth.
23:41Beyond Belfast or England, maybe?
23:45John.
23:46It wouldn't go farther than that.
23:47John.
23:47They needed more petrol.
23:48What?
23:48What's that?
23:49What do you mean?
23:49What's the whiskey?
23:51Rare 50...
23:52That's 20 grand.
23:58Hey, give me two seconds.
24:00Two seconds.
24:02Very rare 50 years.
24:04Limited release.
24:07Hey, I'm kind of.
24:08Yeah.
24:08Stay calm when he said...
24:09When he said...
24:10I want to say this...
24:12Um...
24:13Billy put...
24:14Four bottles of that in there.
24:16Wait, that's 60.
24:17That's 60 grand in there.
24:1920 grand there.
24:20There's 80 grand, boy.
24:21So, um...
24:22We're rich!
24:23We're rich!
24:24We're rich!
24:25We're rich!
24:26We're rich!
24:27We're rich!
24:2880 grand!
24:2980 grand!
24:2980 grand!
24:3080 grand!
24:3080 grand!
24:30I'm rich!
24:31I'm rich!
24:32I'm rich!
24:32I'm rich!
24:33I'm rich!
24:3380 grand!
24:4480 grand!
24:44You expecting someone?
24:45Come on...
24:46Come on.
24:46You just need her.
24:48Just down.
24:49I want you for a momentin'
24:50Besides...
24:50You and I have fought outside the door
24:52There's a light that leaves me out in the cold all alone.
24:58Don't leave me out in the cold all alone.
25:04All we do is hide.
25:07Talk with stupid pride.
25:09And we should unite.
25:12In a world that makes demands.
25:14One of us should lend a hand.
25:16Who dare not change.
25:22How can I exist when I hear them cry.
25:26How can I give hope when there's none in sight.
25:31I just walk away from all the pain to keep me sane.
25:36Cause I can't face this world all alone.
25:40If you ask me, home isn't a place.
25:46Home is the people who mean the most to you.
25:49The ones that make you feel like you're not facing the world alone.
25:52The ones that make you feel like you're not facing the world alone.
25:56You can leave my aching head.
25:58You can save my soul.
26:02You can stop with...
26:05I can see you.
26:16Are they ladies or dads.
26:21Guys, there's no way to strike.
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