- 3 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin, dangerously hot, is equipped.
00:00:18You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:32You know who I really am. I'm Valleyqueen33.
00:00:35Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275.
00:00:39Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:42You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:43You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:45Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:55Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:01Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:09In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:11I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:14but on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:16I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:23Forget your training wheels.
00:01:26At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:44I have my knight's special talisman.
00:01:49I have my knight's special talisman.
00:01:49It's ruined.
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:04Oh my gosh, it's Cole!
00:02:05He's so hot.
00:02:10Hey!
00:02:12What is wrong with you?
00:02:13Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:16Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:18What are you with me, son?
00:02:20What are you talking about?
00:02:22Why?
00:02:24I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:26No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:29You just broke something that's really important to me.
00:02:32Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts by a cop.
00:02:34Okay?
00:02:37You should know that.
00:02:38I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:41You were a...
00:02:42Eh...
00:02:45Asshole!
00:02:50Alright.
00:02:51I broke something of yours.
00:02:54Sure, but...
00:02:55Hey!
00:02:56You got my attention.
00:02:59So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:07Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:10Have a good day.
00:03:13Don't do it!
00:03:15I got a hot mess energy.
00:03:17Hey!
00:03:20Oh, fuck!
00:03:23Now we're even.
00:03:24My laptop better not be broken.
00:03:27I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:33You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:37You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39I'm going to make every classroom,
00:03:42every hallway,
00:03:44and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:48I'm going to make your life a living hell.
00:03:51What's going on?
00:03:52Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:53Now Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:55Yeah, idiot.
00:03:56I can see that.
00:03:59I just met an unhinged person.
00:04:01Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:04Same.
00:04:05Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:07Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:11Cole, do you need help?
00:04:13I can help you.
00:04:16The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:17This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:21But he's not your Cole.
00:04:22Shut up, Lindsey.
00:04:24He's not yet.
00:04:26Come in.
00:04:28Hi.
00:04:29I'm Jen.
00:04:30And this is Lindsey.
00:04:32Hi.
00:04:34I'm Hailey.
00:04:35So nice to meet you.
00:04:36You have first day jitters?
00:04:37That's totally understandable.
00:04:39We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:41And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:42Come in.
00:04:43Okay.
00:04:44Let's go.
00:04:48There you go.
00:04:50Thanks so much.
00:05:12You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:14Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:22Guacamole wizard.
00:05:24Wow.
00:05:24What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:27It's a robot.
00:05:28Get it back.
00:05:29Hold on.
00:05:31Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:36Send.
00:05:37Here.
00:05:37Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:42So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:45I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:46At least check on me.
00:05:48Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:50Ah, chill, please.
00:05:54No way.
00:05:56What is it?
00:05:57Oh, Belle Queen goes to the school.
00:06:04Please ignore that.
00:06:05Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:08Send.
00:06:12What is wrong with you?
00:06:14You messed with Cole Edmunds and you're going to mess with me.
00:06:17Edmunds?
00:06:17What?
00:06:19You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:21Wow.
00:06:22You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:26Stop recording me!
00:06:29Jen is a new girl.
00:06:31Wait.
00:06:32Is the new girl Valley Queen?
00:06:36There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:38Could it be...
00:06:39Jen?
00:06:42Ew.
00:06:46Your enemy is our enemy, Cole.
00:06:48And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:51No chances, Jen.
00:06:53So is it.
00:06:54She does look kinda cute.
00:06:58She does.
00:06:59She does.
00:07:03Please ignore that.
00:07:04Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:07What was I thinking?
00:07:08Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:14Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:16Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:17Just keep walking.
00:07:18You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:22My name's Hayley.
00:07:24Wow.
00:07:24Hayley.
00:07:25I think you, uh...
00:07:27You missed a spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:31What a coincidence!
00:07:33So did you!
00:07:34Oh no!
00:07:37Oh!
00:07:38Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:39I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:41You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:47Whoever ends up with her must have failed an eye exam.
00:08:02I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:04Something happened and I lost the game.
00:08:06I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:08I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:11And what is this?
00:08:13What I think it is, is I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:19As more than just friends.
00:08:22Oh, thank God.
00:08:23I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:25You're my soulmate.
00:08:27Like, I like you so much.
00:08:28Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:32I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:34Wait, really?
00:08:36Yeah.
00:08:37Get ready.
00:08:43Okay.
00:08:44No face.
00:08:46Just the boobs.
00:08:48Is it a bad idea?
00:08:49But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:51PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:53All the kids do this.
00:08:55You'll love it.
00:09:00This lighting hates me.
00:09:02Come on, Hayley.
00:09:04Confidence.
00:09:04You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:11Okay.
00:09:12Okay.
00:09:12Yeah.
00:09:13That's actually kind of...
00:09:18Oh my God.
00:09:20Seriously?
00:09:21Hello?
00:09:22Anyone?
00:09:24Don't look at me!
00:09:28Don't look at me!
00:09:29We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:31I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:33Get out!
00:09:34Now!
00:09:35Fine.
00:09:37Out!
00:09:37Damn it!
00:09:42Come on.
00:09:44Oh, my God.
00:09:46Um .
00:10:06I don't really need to choose.
00:10:07We're trying to figure out the door.
00:10:07What a sound.
00:10:10Oh, man.
00:10:12You're gonna give me a little bit of time.
00:10:12Oh, man.
00:10:15you're helping me
00:10:16I won't, I didn't point on it, but here we are
00:10:26excuse you, these boobs are for someone else
00:10:28I love a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:30that is shocking
00:10:31yeah, actually
00:10:32and he'd probably kill you right now if he saw you were flirting with me
00:10:35flirting? yeah, don't lie to yourself
00:10:37I've got a girlfriend too
00:10:38my thoughts and prayers to her
00:10:39funny
00:10:41okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go her separate ways?
00:10:46fine by me
00:10:49oh, I know
00:10:51I love the purple bra, by the way
00:10:53I like it in a weird way
00:10:55I mean, not even my type, but
00:10:57you know, power theory, or whatever
00:10:59would you just get out of here?
00:11:09hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:12Jen, red alert
00:11:14Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting
00:11:16I think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:21don't be a coward
00:11:22just send it
00:11:23Jen
00:11:27oh my god
00:11:30here goes nothing
00:11:38still no response?
00:11:40don't freak out
00:11:40he's probably just busy
00:11:46give it back
00:11:46why?
00:11:47you don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:50oh, this is actually a really good photo
00:11:52honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it
00:11:55did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:57mm-hmm
00:11:57got it
00:12:01what are you doing?
00:12:26oh, shit
00:12:28yo, what's going on?
00:12:31dude, your enemies nude just got put up on the big screen
00:12:34what?
00:12:34yeah
00:12:49come on
00:12:50let's see if these dudes are photoshopped
00:12:54stop, delete it, please
00:12:56delete it
00:13:07oh my brave knight
00:13:09I wish you were here with me right now
00:13:16oh my god
00:13:17oh, cool
00:13:18your enemy's kind of hot
00:13:21Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:28Jen, no.
00:13:29No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:30Jen, stop!
00:13:32Jen!
00:13:33Jen!
00:13:33Jen!
00:13:33Jen!
00:13:33Jen!
00:13:34Jen!
00:13:34Jen!
00:13:35Jen!
00:13:37Jen!
00:13:37Jen!
00:13:38Jen!
00:13:38Jen!
00:13:38Jen!
00:13:41Jen!
00:13:50Jen!
00:13:50Anyway cushion Gray one is my allied girlfriend?
00:13:52You are now at the ee-on!
00:13:54I have, Stop it!
00:13:57Oh my gahd!
00:13:59Oh no!
00:14:00Stop that!
00:14:06Hey, you okay?
00:14:10Give that to me.
00:14:18Now give the phone back, Jen.
00:14:20What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:28How does it feel being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:30Not good, huh?
00:14:31Now, if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:33I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:35And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:38Why are you even defending her?
00:14:39She's the loser who has nude photos for random men.
00:14:43Naby's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:46And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:48You hear me?
00:14:53Haley, are you?
00:14:54Cole is on my side now?
00:14:56Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:14:58I just need to be alone.
00:15:00Haley!
00:15:05Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:07And he said we were enemies.
00:15:09But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:14Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:17Love you, Mom.
00:15:20Wait, Mom.
00:15:24Do people change?
00:15:28Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:34Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:54Tough day, huh?
00:15:55There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:15:58They're my favorite.
00:16:00Noted.
00:16:00Is that all?
00:16:01The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:04I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:08Oh.
00:16:09I'm really proud of you.
00:16:11And then there's this guy.
00:16:13He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time, he's super contradictory.
00:16:17It's so confusing.
00:16:18Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:24I like you.
00:16:25Only you.
00:16:31I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:33You did?
00:16:34Are you going to reciprocate?
00:16:36I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:38That sounds amazing.
00:16:40When?
00:16:40When?
00:16:41After school.
00:16:42At the balcony.
00:16:44I'll bring followers.
00:16:45Deal.
00:16:54I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:05Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:15Call me father.
00:17:16I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:19Defending that nobody.
00:17:21Hayley girl.
00:17:22He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:24Are those for her?
00:17:29What the fuck?
00:17:33What the fuck?
00:17:34I know what Hayley is, Cole.
00:17:36Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:39That whole family is trash.
00:17:41Stay away from her.
00:17:43And what if I say no?
00:17:44Stay away.
00:17:45I'm Hayley Cole.
00:17:46Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:48What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:52I'm almost 18.
00:17:53Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:55I hate to make Hayley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:00safe.
00:18:01You're sick.
00:18:04It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:11Oh, hi.
00:18:13I'm Hayley.
00:18:14Yes.
00:18:15Mm-hmm.
00:18:16So nice to meet you.
00:18:18God.
00:18:19I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:21But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:26Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:28You're so nice.
00:18:33Guacamole wizard.
00:18:35Guacamole wizard.
00:18:39Guacamole wizard.
00:18:40Ew.
00:18:42You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:45Pathetic.
00:18:46Maybe he's married.
00:18:47Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:49And maybe he's sitting on his life video.
00:18:52I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:55Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:18:58Oh, no.
00:18:59We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:00We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:02And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:06Eat it.
00:19:19Call me.
00:19:21So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:26You're a maid's daughter.
00:19:27So you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:30Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:32Oh, and by the way, Nicole's not going to come save you.
00:19:35Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:37Like me.
00:19:42I'm nothing like you.
00:19:47Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Call again?
00:19:51Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:54Pick it up.
00:19:56Call, we were kidding.
00:19:57It's ketchup.
00:19:58Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:03Take care you're going to record this.
00:20:13Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:15Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:17So I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:20You're going to hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:25I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:30I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:35Got it?
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:36Let's go.
00:20:38What are you looking at?
00:20:43Got it?
00:20:43Let's go.
00:20:52Uh, thank you.
00:20:54Wow.
00:20:56Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:00Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:02I just...
00:21:04I happen to see you.
00:21:06Were you waiting at someone?
00:21:08Yeah.
00:21:09My boyfriend, actually.
00:21:13Well, he...
00:21:14He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:16Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:20Maybe you got into it nice today.
00:21:22Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:26You thought we were enemies.
00:21:28I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:31Not that annoying.
00:21:32Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:35Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edna?
00:21:37Because it's not going to work.
00:21:38I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:46How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:53He...
00:21:53He makes me feel safe.
00:21:56You wouldn't understand that, though.
00:22:02You don't understand better than you think.
00:22:05Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:09I don't see how you touch him like this.
00:22:22If you keep staring, I'm going to think you like what you see.
00:22:26No, my...
00:22:28My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:33In the game.
00:22:36Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:43Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:49Are you a little slow in the game, too?
00:22:53I can see why he likes you.
00:23:03I can see.
00:23:04I can't do this.
00:23:07I love my boyfriend.
00:23:08And you will never understand that.
00:23:10He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:13He loves me for who I am.
00:23:16That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:20I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:30Wait, it couldn't be.
00:23:34Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:39There's nothing.
00:23:40Cole, who are you?
00:23:44What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:46It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:51Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:54You live such a tough life.
00:24:00What was I thinking?
00:24:01We are from two different worlds.
00:24:03He just wants to play with me.
00:24:05But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:12Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:14I got into a car accident.
00:24:16Really?
00:24:17Are you okay?
00:24:18You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:20He was right.
00:24:21Who?
00:24:22Nobody.
00:24:23Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:24I want to come visit you.
00:24:26No, no, you can't.
00:24:27I look miserable now.
00:24:28You need to see me in style.
00:24:30Fine, if you say so.
00:24:33So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:35Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:37We send the fireworks wild.
00:24:41Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:44Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:01Oh, you.
00:25:03Oh, me.
00:25:04Why is she so lucky?
00:25:06Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:09People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:12I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:14Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:21You finished it?
00:25:23It's okay.
00:25:24We'll get you to know each other more.
00:25:26I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:27I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:29Like, uh, how close are you with your mom?
00:25:33What is he trying to do?
00:25:35It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:38I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:42Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:54So, are you going to prom?
00:25:56Eh, I did well.
00:25:57I don't know.
00:25:58So you have a date?
00:26:01Or shall I say a victim?
00:26:03Are you jealous of me?
00:26:04Me?
00:26:05Jealous?
00:26:06No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:07Oh, because I think you so secretly want to be.
00:26:10You are so full of yourself.
00:26:12You can do this on your own.
00:26:13Yeah.
00:26:16No way.
00:26:18It's a self-locking door.
00:26:20Really?
00:26:21This woman's going to be back in an hour.
00:26:22I'm sure it'll be fine.
00:26:23I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:25No, okay.
00:26:26Sorry, not my that bad.
00:26:28I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:31Or maybe try something new.
00:26:33Mm-mm.
00:26:34We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:36Yeah.
00:26:46That was my first kiss.
00:26:50My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:53It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:07You're really good at this.
00:27:09Why did I want you to regret it?
00:27:11You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:29Anyway, I've been wanting back a lot more than you, Zach.
00:27:32So you want me?
00:27:36I think you know how much I want you.
00:27:42Do you want me?
00:27:45I want you.
00:27:50Oh, shit.
00:27:54Anyone in here?
00:27:58Oh, my God.
00:27:59How long have you two been in here?
00:28:00I really need to change this lock.
00:28:02Are you two okay?
00:28:04Oh, yeah.
00:28:05Yeah, we're good.
00:28:06We're okay.
00:28:14Are you just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:17What didn't happen?
00:28:18Hey, wait.
00:28:19It's just hormones.
00:28:21Jake.
00:28:22Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:25Relax.
00:28:25I'm not dead.
00:28:26Wait.
00:28:27Car accident?
00:28:28Guacamole wizard?
00:28:34I got to go.
00:28:43Guacamole wizard?
00:28:44Huh?
00:28:47Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:49Do I know you?
00:28:51Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:53Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:55Or he heard something about Cole?
00:28:58You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:01She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:03She was in a real car accident.
00:29:05According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:08I can't take this anymore.
00:29:09Cole, wait.
00:29:12Oh, shit.
00:29:17What's up, guys?
00:29:18Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:21Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:24Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:27Oh, God.
00:29:28Hey!
00:29:29I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:31They're your favorite, right?
00:29:35How did you know that?
00:29:37Tough day, huh?
00:29:38There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:40They're my favorite.
00:29:42He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:44Could he?
00:29:50The truth is, um...
00:29:51A dickhead?
00:29:54Would you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:55You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:05There it goes again.
00:30:06Cole is jealous.
00:30:08We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:09We don't have a problem.
00:30:11We don't have a problem.
00:30:13Right?
00:30:14Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:17Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:22I have the ball now.
00:30:23Could we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:27Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:30Maybe I can use that.
00:30:34Jake!
00:30:35Hey!
00:30:36What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:40Wait, seriously?
00:30:41Yeah.
00:30:41Just one little catch.
00:30:43You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth.
00:30:47All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:50If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:54I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:30:57But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:02You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:04I'm thinking.
00:31:05About the report or about him?
00:31:06Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:08We literally made out of a sword room.
00:31:11Maybe I've known Jake longer.
00:31:13No, you don't.
00:31:14How do you know that?
00:31:15You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:17Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:19You have no idea.
00:31:25Oh, my God.
00:31:26Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:41Hallie, someone's here to see you.
00:31:54Are you asking me to prom?
00:31:57Too cheesy?
00:31:58No, it's cute.
00:32:01The accident?
00:32:02The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:03He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:05So, um, what do you think?
00:32:08You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:10I...
00:32:11I should feel happy.
00:32:13But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:16Hey, can we not?
00:32:21Hey, can we not?
00:32:23Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:25My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:28And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:30Wow.
00:32:32That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:34Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:36Is this weak shit?
00:32:39Oh, my God.
00:32:47Wow.
00:32:49He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:56Wait, I can't.
00:32:57Colt, put me down.
00:32:58Put me down.
00:32:59Put me down.
00:33:02Don't do that again.
00:33:15New couple alert.
00:33:18Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:19Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:21You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:22And if you'd realize and give me a chance,
00:33:25I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:27Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:30I might say yes.
00:33:33Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:40We're both hot.
00:33:41And we're both rich.
00:33:43And our dads have been in business, like, forever.
00:33:45So.
00:33:46How romantic.
00:33:47I think I'll pass.
00:33:50You're going to regret this, Colt Edmonds.
00:33:55Oh, here they come.
00:33:57If I message Corcomole Wizard,
00:34:00I wonder if Jake's phone were ding.
00:34:03What should we wear to prom?
00:34:05And the dance list.
00:34:09Yeah.
00:34:11Yeah.
00:34:15Um, I'll talk to you later.
00:34:17I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:18Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:19Bye.
00:34:20He's so different.
00:34:22Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:24Yeah, same way.
00:34:26Haley?
00:34:34Haley?
00:34:36Jeez.
00:34:37God.
00:34:43Here, I'll get it.
00:34:44Yeah, I think no.
00:34:49Oh, you're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:52I don't care.
00:34:53I do care.
00:34:56Here we are.
00:35:13I don't put a problem with Jake.
00:35:15I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:18He doesn't even know you.
00:35:19And you do?
00:35:20How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:22That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:23Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:28I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:30The first day.
00:35:32You were watching me?
00:35:35Just don't go to promenade, Jake.
00:35:50Move.
00:35:52Colt is talking to Haley again.
00:35:55Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:35:58Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:00Obviously I do.
00:36:01Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:04Uh, what do I do?
00:36:07I've got a few ideas.
00:36:13Hey, look.
00:36:16Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:17I promise.
00:36:18Yeah?
00:36:19Really, like who?
00:36:20I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:24And you.
00:36:25But you're not asking me.
00:36:28Hey.
00:36:29Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:31Hey, Hal.
00:36:32Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:37The other night?
00:36:38Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:43You're so sexy.
00:36:45Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:47I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:36:57She's a real tiger in the bedroom.
00:37:00Oh, shit.
00:37:02Look at him.
00:37:03Oh, shit.
00:37:14Oh, my God.
00:37:19Stop, guys! Stop it! Stop! Stop!
00:37:23What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:27Shit, it's Principal Stevens. I've got to save Cole. I mean, Jake. I've got to save Jake.
00:37:38Oh my god! Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry!
00:37:42Haley Rock, that's detention. After school, don't be late.
00:38:02Cole, what are you doing here?
00:38:05Can we keep you company?
00:38:07It's the least I could do if you saved my ass today.
00:38:12The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:14Oh, sure.
00:38:17So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:21No.
00:38:23He lied about that. I don't know why, though.
00:38:26Good.
00:38:29Father that asshole, every time he looks at you, makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:33Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:36I could kill him.
00:38:40Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:45Okay, fine. I won't.
00:38:49Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:54Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:04Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:08No.
00:39:25Sorry!
00:39:26I tripped.
00:39:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:29Jet!
00:39:30What?
00:39:30It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:36They're dead.
00:39:37They're both dead.
00:39:39Oh.
00:39:40How am I going to be able to talk to Guacamole Wizard?
00:39:45Oh.
00:39:46What are you...
00:39:47Are you almost crying?
00:39:49It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:53Jen!
00:39:53What's going on over there?
00:40:04Wait.
00:40:06What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:09This squirming is burning!
00:40:10Mr. Edmonds!
00:40:11Oh, please. It's baking soda and water. You're fine.
00:40:14Detention. Today after school.
00:40:17Shit.
00:40:29Jake.
00:40:30Jake, hey.
00:40:31Oh, uh, sorry.
00:40:32Gotta get to student council.
00:40:36Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:39The rice trick?
00:40:42Yeah.
00:40:44You don't know about the...
00:40:47Come on.
00:41:00Hey!
00:41:01Um, Ella.
00:41:03It's Emma.
00:41:05Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:06Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:16Hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:19We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:22No, it's not just the phone or the laptop. It means, it means I can't...
00:41:28Can't what?
00:41:31I talked to a friend online.
00:41:34He's really important to me.
00:41:39And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:52You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and...
00:41:56Big ol' ego and rich kid bravron.
00:41:59Okay, okay. I-I get it.
00:42:04You're kinda sweet.
00:42:09Hey, look at that.
00:42:12Oh my god.
00:42:13Thank you!
00:42:15Oh my god.
00:42:17You're a miracle worker.
00:42:24Ugh, what is taking so long?
00:42:26You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:28Shut up, Ella.
00:42:30It's Emma.
00:42:30Whatever.
00:42:37Oh my god.
00:42:45Oh, morning, valley whore!
00:42:48How are things in the castle?
00:42:49Oh my god.
00:42:52I can't believe it.
00:42:54Valley whore? What are they talking about?
00:43:12Guacamole wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:16Guacamole wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:20Oh my god, someone hacked my castle claimers messages.
00:43:23Touch me, guacamole wizard.
00:43:26Yeah, hey valley whore.
00:43:28Show them what you really like.
00:43:29Show them what you really like.
00:43:47Hey!
00:43:48Here you go.
00:43:49Here, this is for you.
00:43:54Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:43:56You hacked my laptop?
00:43:59Oh no, it wasn't me.
00:44:00It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:02But I definitely gotta reap the benefits.
00:44:04What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:07What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:09No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:11Hey everyone, I think valley whore's a catfish.
00:44:15Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:44Stop it! Stop!
00:44:45Stop!
00:44:48I thought I'd send the janitor some time.
00:44:53Jake!
00:44:55Hey!
00:44:57Now's the time.
00:44:58Tell them.
00:45:00Tell them what?
00:45:00That you're guacamole wizard.
00:45:03Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:06Here you go.
00:45:10Oh my god.
00:45:11Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:14Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:19What? Why would you do that?
00:45:20Oh, I don't know, Cole. Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:25Jake, is this true?
00:45:26Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:30Sorry.
00:45:31It was nothing personal?
00:45:38Yeah, nothing personal.
00:45:41Oh!
00:45:42Oh!
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:46All right, all right, all right, enough!
00:45:49What in the world is going on here?
00:45:51Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:52That's all him!
00:45:54Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:01Let me get this straight.
00:46:03You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:06It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:08It was Jen's cyber boy's spreadsheets.
00:46:10Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:13Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:16You think that's what it could be?
00:46:17Who cares?
00:46:18I care.
00:46:20And...
00:46:21I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:23So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:24What?
00:46:25Over my dead body?
00:46:27Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:30I'm firing her mother, right now.
00:46:31No, no, please don't.
00:46:33Please.
00:46:34Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:36Max's dad called.
00:46:37He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:39You're gonna go, and you're gonna ask Jen to prom.
00:46:42End of discussion.
00:46:49Come on, you big coward.
00:46:51Message him.
00:46:52Just do it, just do it.
00:46:56You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:05I could never think that.
00:47:12But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:13Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:15I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:22I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:24If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:37Okay.
00:47:39You got this, Haley.
00:47:40Just take a deep breath.
00:47:42You got this.
00:47:43You got this.
00:47:47You look beautiful.
00:47:51Thank you, Mom.
00:48:10Hey, Haley.
00:48:12I'm glad you came.
00:48:13You look so pretty.
00:48:14Hi.
00:48:15Hey, Max.
00:48:16Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:18I mean...
00:48:18No, it's just my parents' blood money.
00:48:20You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:22They don't care about shit.
00:48:23Get drunk, girl.
00:48:24Woo!
00:48:27Yeah.
00:48:38What are you doing here?
00:48:40Valley whore?
00:48:42Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:45Hey, everyone.
00:48:46Let's give it up for Valley whore.
00:48:48Valley whore!
00:48:52Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:54What have I even done to you?
00:48:55To me?
00:48:56Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community.
00:48:59Because those little cringy messages on your castle game.
00:49:02Those are concerning.
00:49:04Actually, I'm kind of a little bit of a perv.
00:49:06Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:08She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:10Pervy princess!
00:49:13Pervy princess!
00:49:14Pervy princess!
00:49:16Pervy princess!
00:49:17Pervy princess!
00:49:18Hey, let's get perfect tonight.
00:49:21Leave me alone.
00:49:23Wait, is there a fire?
00:49:25Okay, reset off the alarm.
00:49:39Paul?
00:49:55All right.
00:50:00Bye.
00:50:02We must not be late in the middle of this!
00:50:02Sealed by the door.
00:50:08We must not be late in the middle of this!
00:50:08Let's move around!
00:50:11Hold on to a second of the door.
00:50:14We must not go, but wait a minute!
00:50:14We must not be late in the middle of this!
00:50:16As soon as we have to go, we are so happy to be late in the middle of this!
00:50:17are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend
00:50:23okay Cole is not him anyways we are going to the prom together no I'm not yes
00:50:29you are it's okay you can be honest about your feelings hmm so you too this
00:50:36whole time oh my god I am such an idiot hey wait
00:50:48hey please at least take my jackets you know if you really wanted to humiliate me
00:50:53you didn't have to go to the extra effort Jen was doing just fine I wasn't trying to
00:50:56humiliate you then what were you trying to do I guess you obviously the white
00:51:01clothes were just an added bonus I knew I shouldn't trusted you I'm about guacamole
00:51:07wizard
00:51:18who is that just the devil get in the car
00:51:26I'm not going to ask you again Cole get in the car
00:51:29can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to
00:51:32Hayley I already assumed that's who this was
00:51:36I'm Mr. Evans
00:51:37so you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life
00:51:43well I've got news for you young lady my son is gonna marry a good girl from a
00:51:48respectable family and that's not you you will be forgotten you're a maid's
00:51:54daughter and your mom works for me stay away from him or I swear to God your
00:52:01mother is fire dad stop don't you touch my family I'll stay away
00:52:08hey come on you don't mean that I hate everything you stand for I hate your
00:52:16greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good
00:52:20person looks like I hate everything about you I hate all of it I don't want any
00:52:26part of it so Cole go with your dad
00:52:32Hayley
00:52:40no laptop and no phone for a week
00:52:43ever since mom died you've turned into this cold patriarch
00:52:46Hayley not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable
00:52:49I promised your mother I would make you a success son even if it meant saving you
00:52:54from yourself
00:53:03hi Hayley I'm Emma I know you are right I just felt kind of bad that I
00:53:10accidentally helped and ruin your life so I wanted to return your laptop to you
00:53:14goodness new
00:53:20oh wow
00:53:22thanks Emma
00:53:23okay bye
00:53:29one down one to go
00:53:31you're so cool
00:53:33I know Emma
00:53:33want to go to prom
00:53:35why not let's get these lovers together
00:53:44hi mr. Edmunds
00:53:46hi Max and Max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you Cole's grounded
00:53:51oh he is but it was his 18th birthday today
00:53:55what can I say Max actions have consequences birthday or no Cole is grounded
00:54:02well that really sucks because he is also the president of the prom committee we were supposed to review budgets
00:54:09today
00:54:11Cole my son Cole reviewing budgets he's never reviewed a budget a day in his life
00:54:17well mr. Edmunds today could be that day and we just have to give him back this school sanctioned laptop
00:54:22so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work
00:54:35go away
00:54:40Max what
00:54:41what are you guys doing here
00:54:42happy birthday Cole
00:54:44I brought you my laptop and logged into your castle claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow
00:54:49what what's going on
00:54:50dude it's your 18th birthday
00:54:53you can tell Hayley who you are now you can be together
00:54:55just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are
00:55:00no
00:55:01I'll tell her myself
00:55:03stick me in your car
00:55:11welcome all the wizard
00:55:14mom I'm fine
00:55:15I just need some time alone
00:55:25open the door
00:55:27wait what
00:55:29he's here
00:55:37it's you
00:55:39I should have given you this to a long time ago
00:55:43Hayley I've wanted to tell you who I was from the bitter beginning
00:55:46my dad threatened to follow your mom
00:55:48I had to wait a really long time
00:55:50to tell you who I was
00:55:51I got my inheritance
00:55:53and I can protect you and your family and so
00:55:55you don't have to choose
00:56:08thanks
00:56:08I understand that this changes things
00:56:13if you don't love me the way you
00:56:16you love guacamole wizard but
00:56:19I
00:56:19I need you to know I love you
00:56:22I
00:56:22I need you to know I love you
00:56:32Nicole I love you
00:56:34you do?
00:56:36yes you idiot
00:56:38I've loved you for months
00:56:39I mean this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though
00:56:43cause I had to be loyal to him and
00:56:46but you're him
00:56:48you didn't expect her
00:56:50I
00:56:50I mean
00:56:51I
00:56:52I always hoped it was you
00:56:55until you hoped
00:56:57yes
00:56:58I hoped it was you
00:57:00you were always there for me
00:57:04you hadn't
00:57:05you really fucking had
00:57:11hey uh
00:57:12one of those things I said we could do
00:57:16you ever go
00:57:17yeah
00:57:21take my clothes off
00:57:22I'm getting there don't worry
00:57:23mm
00:57:26I'm so beyond you
00:57:28just beyond me
00:57:31I'm so beyond you
00:57:33just beyond me
00:57:34oh
00:57:36oh
00:57:39just beyond me
00:57:45okay
00:57:46okay so
00:57:47what do you think
00:57:48ten out of ten
00:57:49oh
00:57:50yeah
00:57:51would do again
00:57:52okay sex for sex with me specifically
00:57:54I've only ever had sex with you specifically
00:57:58alright
00:57:58alright that's fair
00:57:59I'll uh
00:58:01I'll take that as a one
00:58:07what is my life now
00:58:08am I being nice to Cole Eggman's
00:58:11oh god no
00:58:12I fully expect you to
00:58:14continue to berate me endlessly
00:58:17now I just
00:58:18I'm just lost behind it
00:58:20there's always been lost behind it
00:58:21I'll see you in a minute now
00:58:22ha ha
00:58:23stop it
00:58:26um
00:58:28same
00:58:29isn't promenade
00:58:31I think you know if it's promenade
00:58:34okay
00:58:35but
00:58:36the real question is
00:58:37do you got a date
00:58:40Cole are you asking me to prom
00:58:42oh
00:58:43I would have asked you earlier
00:58:44but
00:58:44Jay kind of gave me to the gym
00:58:46oh god
00:58:46please don't mention his name again
00:58:48I don't want to hear it
00:58:49yeah you don't have to ask me twice
00:58:51but I don't even have a dress
00:58:54later
00:58:59I just slept with Cole Edmonds
00:59:01and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds
00:59:03who would have guessed
00:59:07I thought
00:59:09only the best for my princess
00:59:11where did you get that?
00:59:14uh
00:59:14I might have gotten you a dress
00:59:16on the off chance that you
00:59:19might have wanted to go to prom with me
00:59:20and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:24of course I'll go to prom with you
00:59:31Mr. Edmonds
00:59:31I didn't expect you to be here
00:59:34Cole
00:59:35are you here?
00:59:36Cole
00:59:37are you here?
00:59:39Mr. Edmonds
00:59:40you can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:43I see you Cole
00:59:43you are a big pro
00:59:49oh
01:00:01hey uh
01:00:03you almost done in there?
01:00:04you try changing into an evening gown
01:00:06in a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:08it is
01:00:10okay, I'm ready
01:00:12okay, I'm ready
01:00:22what do you think?
01:00:26my god
01:00:27you are the most beautiful thing
01:00:29I have ever seen
01:00:32uh uh uh
01:00:33I just hunched over in a car mirror
01:00:35to do this lipstick
01:00:36you're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes
01:00:3920 more minutes
01:00:40we're in
01:00:41I do
01:00:45thank you
01:00:46thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes
01:00:50I hear we have a winner
01:00:53and your 2026 prom queen is
01:00:58Jen Longfellow
01:01:00thank you
01:01:02oh my god
01:01:03thank you guys so much
01:01:07seriously this means the world to me
01:01:08but I mean like
01:01:09who else would win?
01:01:10right?
01:01:12this is just the perfect moment
01:01:17oh my god that's Hayley and Cole
01:01:22Hayley's fine
01:01:23it's very too bad
01:01:24what's this?
01:01:28there uh
01:01:30this time that's up
01:01:31no
01:01:31but
01:01:32who cares?
01:01:35hell yeah
01:01:36woo!
01:01:39ew literally what the fuck?
01:01:41hell yeah
01:01:42language
01:01:42I am the queen okay?
01:01:44she's just a little
01:01:45pervy princess
01:01:46come on
01:01:47everyone say it with me
01:01:48pervy princess
01:01:50pervy princess
01:01:51pervy princess
01:01:56pervy princess
01:01:56wait
01:01:58wait wait wait
01:01:59what are those?
01:02:00those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:01make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you
01:02:05his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:08don't worry daddy
01:02:10if I can't have
01:02:12then no one can
01:02:14I'm gonna destroy Hayley Roth's life
01:02:16is this real?
01:02:18Jen's crazy
01:02:21who did this?
01:02:22who did this?
01:02:26what?
01:02:26you exploited me for a hacking job
01:02:28and didn't think I was gonna hack your phone?
01:02:30you little shit
01:02:32you know Jen
01:02:34as the principal
01:02:35I'm supposed to remain impartial
01:02:37and above all of this petty drama
01:02:41but quite frankly
01:02:43you are the worst
01:02:45and I think it's time that you are expelled from Edmonds Academy
01:02:49you can't do that
01:02:50I'm the principal
01:02:51so uh
01:02:52yes I can
01:03:02there was no winter chick
01:03:04you lied to me
01:03:06you lied to me
01:03:22now all I need
01:03:23now all I need is my handsome prince
01:03:24oh
01:03:25yeah no can do
01:03:26all I have to offer
01:03:28is a lowly night with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:31and a awesome sense of humor
01:03:33oof
01:03:34how can I refuse?
01:03:41oh
01:03:41that's my dad
01:03:45we are going home
01:03:46right now
01:03:48you disobeyed me for the last time boy
01:03:50yeah I'm not a boy dad
01:03:52you talk all the time
01:03:54about wanting a man
01:03:55that's worthy of the family last name
01:03:57yet
01:03:58you can't see I've already become that man
01:04:01and it's because of Hayley
01:04:02and you can accept that
01:04:04or I'll make my own path
01:04:05and best believe me I can
01:04:08I'll say this
01:04:10it's the most backbone I've ever seen in you Cole
01:04:15Joy Pro
01:04:23I am so proud of you
01:04:26I kind of done with all you being by my son
01:04:29that was terrifying
01:04:31it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before
01:04:34well so
01:04:35I love you Bella Quinn
01:04:37I love you guacamole wizard
01:04:39oh my god I gotta change that username
01:04:41yeah you do
01:04:46woo
01:04:46мен
01:04:47wיתי
01:04:48w Sunshine
01:04:48je goê¹”
01:04:48wie w
01:04:50w
01:04:50w
01:04:50w
01:04:50w
01:04:51w
01:04:52w
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