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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin, dangerously hot, is equipped.
00:00:18You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:31You know who I really am. I'm Valleyqueen33.
00:00:35Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275.
00:00:39Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:41You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:43You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:44Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:55Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:01Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:08In the game of castle claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:13But on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:23Forget your training wheels.
00:01:26At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:40Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:44No!
00:01:46God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:48It's ruined!
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey!
00:01:57I told you to stop the car!
00:02:03Oh my gosh, it's cold!
00:02:05He's so hot!
00:02:10Hey!
00:02:12What is wrong with you?
00:02:13Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:16Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:18What do you want me to start?
00:02:20What are you talking about?
00:02:22Why?
00:02:24I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:26No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans.
00:02:29You just broke something that's really important to me.
00:02:32Yeah, I broke a lot of our spider cop.
00:02:34Okay?
00:02:36You should know that.
00:02:38I don't know who you are, but you were a- you were a-
00:02:42Eh.
00:02:43Eh.
00:02:44Eh.
00:02:44Eh.
00:02:44Eh.
00:02:45Eh.
00:02:46Eh.
00:02:46Eh.
00:02:50Alright.
00:02:51I broke something of yours.
00:02:53Sure, but...
00:02:55Eh!
00:02:56You got my attention.
00:02:59So, in that case, we're even...
00:03:06Don't do it, Hailey.
00:03:09Have a good day.
00:03:13Don't do it
00:03:20Oh fuck
00:03:23Now we're even
00:03:24My last thought better not be broken
00:03:26I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen
00:03:33You just made the wrong enemy
00:03:36You just made the wrong enemy
00:03:39I'm going to make every classroom
00:03:42Every hallway and every rumor
00:03:45In this school your personal nightmare
00:03:48I'm gonna make your life a living hell
00:03:51What's going on?
00:03:52Cole's fighting the new girl
00:03:53Now Cole's leaving the new girl
00:03:55Yeah, idiot, I can see that
00:03:59Just met an unhinged person
00:04:00Good thing the universe balances it with you
00:04:04Same, ran into a certified asshole
00:04:07Can't wait to see you in the game tonight
00:04:11Cole, do you need help?
00:04:13I can help you
00:04:16The new girl poured coffee on him
00:04:17This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael
00:04:21But he's not your Cole
00:04:22Shut up, Lindsey
00:04:24He's not yet
00:04:26Come in
00:04:28Hi
00:04:29I'm Jen
00:04:30And this is Lindsey
00:04:32Hi
00:04:33I'm Haley
00:04:34So nice to meet you
00:04:36You have first day jitters
00:04:37That's totally understandable
00:04:38We want to make sure you feel really welcome
00:04:40And so we'll take you to your locker
00:04:41Come in
00:04:43Okay
00:04:44Let's go
00:04:48There you go
00:04:49Thanks so much
00:04:58Oh!
00:05:12Aw, you're welcome new girl
00:05:13Honestly it's kind of an improvement on your face
00:05:22Guacamole wizard
00:05:23Guacamole wizard
00:05:23Wow
00:05:24What are you, catfishing some lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:28Give it back
00:05:29Hold on
00:05:31Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy you should come to locker 83 right now
00:05:36Send
00:05:36Here
00:05:37Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face
00:05:42So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:45I'm your friend first Max, at least check on me
00:05:48Oh, is it the online love-up?
00:05:50Aw, chill, please
00:05:54No way
00:05:55What is it?
00:05:57Oh, Belle Queen goes to school
00:06:04Please ignore that
00:06:05Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:06:08Send
00:06:12What is wrong with you?
00:06:14You messed with Cole Edmunds and you're gonna mess with me
00:06:17Edmunds?
00:06:18What?
00:06:18You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:21Wow, you really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:26Stop recording me!
00:06:29Jenna's a new girl
00:06:31Wait...
00:06:32Is the new girl...
00:06:33Valley Queen?
00:06:36There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen
00:06:38Could it be...
00:06:39Chen?
00:06:42Ew
00:06:46Your enemy is our enemy Cole
00:06:48And I just made sure that the new girl moves that
00:06:51No chance it's Chen
00:06:52So is it...
00:06:54She does look kinda cute
00:06:58No chance it's her
00:07:01No chance it's her
00:07:03Please ignore that
00:07:04Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:07:07What was I thinking?
00:07:08Of course she's not my online lover
00:07:14Hey there buttercup
00:07:15Keep walking Haley
00:07:17Just keep walking
00:07:18You got a problem with shaving this morning or...
00:07:22My name's Haley
00:07:23Wow
00:07:24Haley
00:07:25I think you uh...
00:07:27You used to spell on your upper lip right there
00:07:31What a coincidence
00:07:33So did you!
00:07:34Oh no!
00:07:35What?
00:07:37Oh, I'm sorry
00:07:38I forgot you don't even need shaving cream
00:07:41You're just a man child with follicle issues
00:07:47Whoever ends up with her must have failed an eye exam
00:07:49We believe
00:08:02I was so relieved to see you
00:08:04Something happened and I lost the game
00:08:06I thought I'd never see you again
00:08:08I think it's time we call this what it is
00:08:11And what is this?
00:08:13What I think it is
00:08:14Is I wanna be with you
00:08:17And you wanna be with me
00:08:19As more than just friends
00:08:22Oh thank god
00:08:23I honestly want that more than anything
00:08:25You're my soul mate
00:08:27Like I like you so much
00:08:28Okay well since we're dating now
00:08:31Um...
00:08:32I'm ready to send my photo
00:08:34Wait, really?
00:08:36Yeah
00:08:37Get ready
00:08:43Okay
00:08:44No face
00:08:46Just the boobs
00:08:47Is it a bad idea?
00:08:49But all my online friends said it's cool
00:08:51PG-13 nudes are harmless
00:08:53PG-13 nudes are harmless
00:08:54All the kids do this
00:08:55He'll love it
00:09:00Ugh, this lighting hates me
00:09:02Come on Hayley
00:09:04Confidence
00:09:04You literally fight dragons online
00:09:11Okay, yeah
00:09:12That's actually kind of
00:09:18Oh my god
00:09:19Oh my god
00:09:21Hello?
00:09:22Anyone?
00:09:24Don't look at me
00:09:28Don't look at me
00:09:29We're trying not for viable are we?
00:09:31I don't think you're supposed to do it like that
00:09:33Get out!
00:09:34Now!
00:09:35Fine
00:09:35Ow!
00:09:37Damn it!
00:09:40Damn it!
00:10:05Wrong
00:10:15You're helping me
00:10:16I won't
00:10:17I didn't plan on it but here we are
00:10:26Excuse you, these boobs are for someone else
00:10:28We got a little boyfriend
00:10:29Do we?
00:10:30That is shocking
00:10:31Yeah, actually
00:10:32And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw you were flirting with me
00:10:35Flirting?
00:10:36Yeah, don't lie to yourself
00:10:37I've got a girlfriend too
00:10:38My thoughts and prayers to her
00:10:39Hmm, funny
00:10:40Hmm
00:10:41Okay, well
00:10:42Can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:46Fine by me
00:10:49Oh, I know
00:10:51Well, the purple brawl by the way
00:10:53I like it in a weird way
00:10:55Not even my type but
00:10:57You know, power theory
00:10:58Or whatever
00:10:59Would you just get out of here?
00:11:09Hopefully quacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:12Jen
00:11:13Red alert
00:11:14Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting
00:11:17I think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:21Don't be a coward
00:11:22Just send it
00:11:23Jen
00:11:28Oh my god
00:11:30Here goes nothing
00:11:38Still no response?
00:11:40Don't freak out
00:11:41He's probably just busy
00:11:46Give it back
00:11:46Why?
00:11:47You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:50Oh, this is actually a really good photo
00:11:52Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it
00:11:55Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:57Got it
00:12:00What are you doing?
00:12:27What are you doing?
00:12:30Yo, what's going on?
00:12:31Dude, your enemies nude just got put up on the big screen
00:12:34What?
00:12:34Yeah
00:12:35What?
00:12:37What?
00:12:43What?
00:12:45What?
00:12:49What?
00:12:49Come on!
00:12:50What?
00:12:50Let's see if these builds are photoshopped
00:12:54Stop!
00:12:55Delete it, please!
00:12:56What?
00:13:08Oh my brave knight, I wish you were here with me right now
00:13:16Oh my god
00:13:17Oh cool
00:13:18Your enemy's kinda hot
00:13:21Since you're so into slutty photos
00:13:23Why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:28Jen, no
00:13:29No, no, no, no, no, no
00:13:30Jen, stop!
00:13:32Stop!
00:13:33Stop!
00:13:34Stop!
00:13:35Stop!
00:13:38Stop!
00:13:44Stop!
00:13:48Stop!
00:13:49Stop!
00:13:49I'm so scared
00:13:49My school enemy is my ally girlfriend
00:13:52Get off of me
00:13:53Stop it!
00:13:57Oh my god
00:13:58Oh my god
00:14:06Hey, you okay?
00:14:10Give that to me.
00:14:18Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:20What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:28How does it feel being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:30Not good, huh?
00:14:31Now, if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:33I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:35And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:38Why are you even defending her?
00:14:39She's the loser who has nude photos for random men.
00:14:43Names got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:46And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:48You hear me?
00:14:53Hey, where are you?
00:14:54Cole is on my side now?
00:14:56Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:14:58I just need to be alone.
00:14:59All right.
00:15:00Haley!
00:15:05Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:07And he said we were enemies.
00:15:09But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:15Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:17Love you, Mom.
00:15:20Wait, Mom.
00:15:24Do people change?
00:15:27Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:34Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:54Tough day, huh?
00:15:55There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:15:58They're my favorite.
00:16:00Noted.
00:16:00Is that all?
00:16:01The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:04I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:08Oh.
00:16:09I'm really proud of you.
00:16:11And then there's this guy.
00:16:13He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time, he's super contradictory.
00:16:17It's so confusing.
00:16:18Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:22No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:25I like you.
00:16:25Only you.
00:16:32I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:34You did?
00:16:34Are you going to reciprocate?
00:16:36I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:38That sounds amazing.
00:16:40When?
00:16:41When?
00:16:41After school.
00:16:42At the balcony.
00:16:44I'll bring followers.
00:16:45Deal.
00:16:54I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:06Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:15Call me father.
00:17:17I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:19Defending that nobody.
00:17:21Haley girl.
00:17:22He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:24Are those for her?
00:17:29What the fuck?
00:17:33What the fuck?
00:17:34I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:37Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:39That whole family is trash.
00:17:41Stay away from her.
00:17:43And what if I say no?
00:17:44Stay away from Haley, Cole.
00:17:46Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:48What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:52I'm almost 18.
00:17:53Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:55I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:00safe.
00:18:01You're sick.
00:18:04It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:11Oh, hi.
00:18:13I'm Haley.
00:18:15Yes.
00:18:16Mm-hmm.
00:18:17So nice to meet you.
00:18:18God.
00:18:19I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:21But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:26Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:28You're so nice.
00:18:33Guacamole wizard.
00:18:35Bale.
00:18:39Guacamole wizard.
00:18:40Ew.
00:18:43You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:45Pathetic.
00:18:46Maybe he's married.
00:18:48Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:49And maybe he's sitting on his wife's video.
00:18:53I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:56Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:18:58Oh, no.
00:18:59We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:00We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:03And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:06Eat it.
00:19:07Eat it.
00:19:34Cole's not going to come save you.
00:19:35Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:37Like me.
00:19:42I'm nothing like you.
00:19:47Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:51Cole again?
00:19:52Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:55Pick it up.
00:19:56Cole, we were kidding.
00:19:57It's ketchup.
00:19:59Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:04Take out of your phone and record this.
00:20:13Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hailey anymore?
00:20:16I don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:17So tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:20You want to hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:26I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:30I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:35Got it?
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:37Let's go.
00:20:38What are you looking at?
00:20:43Got it?
00:20:44Let's go.
00:20:52Uh, thank you.
00:20:55Wow.
00:20:57Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:00Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:02I just...
00:21:04I happen to see you.
00:21:07Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:09Yeah.
00:21:09My boyfriend, actually.
00:21:13Well, he...
00:21:14He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:17Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:20Maybe you're going to do it nice today.
00:21:23Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:26You thought we were enemies.
00:21:28I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:31Am I that annoying?
00:21:33Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:35Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edna?
00:21:37Because it's not going to work.
00:21:39I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:46How'd that online boyfriend in your years make you fall for her?
00:21:53He...
00:21:53He makes me feel safe.
00:21:56You wouldn't understand that, though.
00:22:02I understand better than you think.
00:22:05Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:09I don't see why you touch him like this.
00:22:23If you keep staring, I'm going to think you like what you see.
00:22:27No, my...
00:22:28My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:33In the game.
00:22:36Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:43Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:50Are you a little slow in the game, too?
00:22:53I can see why he likes you.
00:23:05I can't do this.
00:23:06I can't do this.
00:23:07I love my boyfriend.
00:23:09And you will never understand that.
00:23:10He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:14He loves me for who I am.
00:23:16That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:21I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:23I don't know.
00:23:29I don't know.
00:23:31Wait.
00:23:31It couldn't be.
00:23:34Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:39There's nothing.
00:23:41Cole, who are you?
00:23:45What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:46It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:51Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:54You live such a tough life.
00:24:00What was I thinking?
00:24:02We are from two different worlds.
00:24:04He just wants to play with me.
00:24:05But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:12Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:15I got into a car accident.
00:24:17Really?
00:24:17Are you okay?
00:24:18You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:20He was right.
00:24:22Who?
00:24:22Nobody.
00:24:23Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:25I want to come visit you.
00:24:26No, no, you can't.
00:24:27I look miserable now.
00:24:29You need to see me in style.
00:24:31Fine, if you say so.
00:24:33So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:36Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:42Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:44Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:01Oh, you.
00:25:03Oh, me.
00:25:05Why is she so lucky?
00:25:07Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:10People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:12I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:15Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:21You finished it?
00:25:23It's okay.
00:25:25We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:26I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:28I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:30Like, uh, how close are you with your mom?
00:25:33What is he trying to do?
00:25:35It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:38I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:43Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:54So, are you going to prom?
00:25:56I don't know.
00:25:57Okay, well, I don't know.
00:25:59So you have a date?
00:26:01Or shall I say victim?
00:26:03Are you jealous of me?
00:26:05Me?
00:26:06Jealous?
00:26:06No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:08Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:10You are so full of yourself.
00:26:13You can do this on your own.
00:26:14Yeah.
00:26:17No way.
00:26:18It's a self-locking door.
00:26:20Really?
00:26:21The score is going to be back in an hour.
00:26:22I'm sure it'll be fine.
00:26:23I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:26No.
00:26:27Sorry.
00:26:27Am I that bad?
00:26:29I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:32Or maybe try something new.
00:26:33Mm-mm.
00:26:34We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:37Yeah.
00:26:47That was my first kiss.
00:26:51My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:53It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:07You're really good at this.
00:27:09Why don't you regret it?
00:27:12You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:29Hey, I've been wanting back a lot more than you think.
00:27:33So you want me?
00:27:37I think you know much I want you.
00:27:43Do you want me?
00:27:45I want you.
00:27:51Oh, shit.
00:27:55Anyone in here?
00:27:58Oh, my God.
00:27:59How long have you two been in here?
00:28:01I really need to change this lock.
00:28:03Are you two okay?
00:28:04Oh.
00:28:05Yeah.
00:28:06Yeah, we're good.
00:28:07We're okay.
00:28:08Great.
00:28:09Okay, nice.
00:28:15Are you just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:17What didn't happen?
00:28:19Haley.
00:28:20It's just hormones.
00:28:22Jake.
00:28:23Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:25Relax, I'm not dead.
00:28:27Wait.
00:28:27Car accident?
00:28:29Guacamole wizard?
00:28:35I gotta go.
00:28:44Guacamole wizard?
00:28:45Huh?
00:28:48Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:50Do I know you?
00:28:52Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:54Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:56Or he heard something about coal?
00:28:58You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:01She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:04She was in a real car accident.
00:29:06According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:09I can't take this anymore.
00:29:10Cole, wait.
00:29:12Oh, shit.
00:29:17What's up, guys?
00:29:19Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:22Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:25Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:28Hey!
00:29:29I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:32They're your favorite, right?
00:29:36How did you know that?
00:29:38Tough day, huh?
00:29:39There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:41They're my favorite.
00:29:43He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:45Could he?
00:29:50The truth is, um, a dickhead.
00:29:55What do you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:56You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:06There it goes again.
00:30:07Cole is jealous.
00:30:09We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:10We don't have a problem.
00:30:12We don't have a problem.
00:30:14Right?
00:30:15Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:18Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:22I have the ball now.
00:30:24Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:27Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:31Maybe I can use that.
00:30:34Jake!
00:30:35Hey!
00:30:37What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:41Wait, seriously?
00:30:42Yeah.
00:30:42Just one little catch.
00:30:43You have to pretend to like Haley Roth.
00:30:48All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:51If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:55I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:30:59But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:03You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:04I'm thinking.
00:31:05About the report or about him?
00:31:07Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:09We literally made out of a sore dream.
00:31:12Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:14No, you don't.
00:31:15How do you know that?
00:31:16You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:17Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:20You have no idea.
00:31:25Oh, my God.
00:31:27Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:42Haley, someone's here to see you.
00:31:55Are you asking me to prom?
00:31:58Too cheesy?
00:31:59No, it's cute.
00:32:02The accident?
00:32:03The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:04He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:06So, um, what do you think?
00:32:09You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:11I...
00:32:12I should feel happy.
00:32:13But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:17Hey, can we not?
00:32:21Hey, can we not?
00:32:23Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:26My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:29And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:31Wow.
00:32:32That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:35Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:37Is this weak shit?
00:32:40Oh, my God.
00:32:41Oh, my God.
00:32:48Wow.
00:32:49He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:56Wait, I can't.
00:32:58Colt, put me down.
00:32:59Put me down.
00:33:00Put me down.
00:33:02Don't do that again.
00:33:16New couple alert.
00:33:18Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:20Why do you hate me so much, Cole?
00:33:21You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:23And if you'd realize and give me a chance, I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:28Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:31I might say yes.
00:33:33Oh, my God.
00:33:34Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:38Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:41We're both hot and we're both rich.
00:33:43And our dads have been in business, like, forever, so.
00:33:47How romantic.
00:33:48I think I'll pass.
00:33:51You're going to regret this, Cole Edmonds.
00:33:56Oh, here they come.
00:33:58If I message Corcamole Wizard, I wonder if Jake's phone were dinged.
00:34:04What should we wear to prom?
00:34:06And the dean's list.
00:34:10Yeah.
00:34:13Um, I'll talk to you later.
00:34:17I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:19Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:19Bye.
00:34:21He's so different.
00:34:22He's so different.
00:34:23Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:25I'll stay with you.
00:34:27Haley?
00:34:36Geez.
00:34:44Here, I'll get it.
00:34:50Oh, you're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:53I don't care.
00:34:54I do care.
00:34:58Haley, I...
00:35:14I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:18He doesn't even know you.
00:35:20And you do?
00:35:21How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:23That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:24Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:29I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:31The first day.
00:35:33You were watching me?
00:35:35Just don't go to promenade.
00:35:51Move.
00:35:53Cole is talking to Haley again.
00:35:56Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:35:59Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:01Obviously I do.
00:36:02Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:05Uh, what do I do?
00:36:08I've got a few ideas.
00:36:14Haley, look.
00:36:17Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:18All right, I promise.
00:36:19Yeah?
00:36:20Really, like who?
00:36:21I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:25And you.
00:36:26But you're not asking me.
00:36:29Hey.
00:36:30Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:31Hey, Hal, um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:38The other night?
00:36:39Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:44You're so sexy.
00:36:46Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:49I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:36:58And she's a real tiger in the pep room.
00:37:01Oh, shit, look at them.
00:37:04Oh, shit.
00:37:06Oh, shit.
00:37:07Oh, my God.
00:37:24What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:28Shit, it's Principal Stevens.
00:37:30I've got to save Cole.
00:37:32I mean, Jake.
00:37:33I've got to save Jake.
00:37:39Oh, my God.
00:37:40Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry.
00:37:43Haley Roth.
00:37:44That's the tension.
00:37:46After school, don't be late.
00:38:03Cole, what are you doing here?
00:38:06Can we keep you company?
00:38:08It's the least I could do if you saved my ass today.
00:38:12The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:15Oh, sure.
00:38:18So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:22No.
00:38:24He lied about that.
00:38:25I don't know why, though.
00:38:27Good.
00:38:29You know, father that asshole, every time he looks at you, makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:34Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:37I could kill him.
00:38:41Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:46Okay, fine.
00:38:47I won't.
00:38:50Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:55Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:05Oh, my God.
00:39:06I am so fed up with this.
00:39:26Oh, sorry.
00:39:28I tripped.
00:39:29No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:30Jet.
00:39:31What?
00:39:32It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:37They're dead.
00:39:38They're both dead.
00:39:40Oh.
00:39:41How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:46Oh.
00:39:47What are you?
00:39:48Are you almost crying?
00:39:50It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:54Jen, what's going on over there?
00:39:59Oh.
00:40:07What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:10Mrs. Gorman, it's burning.
00:40:11Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:12Oh, please.
00:40:13It's baking soda and water.
00:40:14You're fine.
00:40:15Detention.
00:40:16Today, after school.
00:40:18Shh.
00:40:19It's fine.
00:40:30Jake, hey.
00:40:32Oh, sorry.
00:40:33Gotta get to student council.
00:40:37Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:40The rice trick?
00:40:42You don't know about the...
00:40:45Come on.
00:40:58Hey, I'm Ella.
00:41:01It's Emma.
00:41:03Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:04Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:14Hey, it's going to be okay.
00:41:17We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:21No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:23It means...
00:41:24It means I can't...
00:41:26Can't what?
00:41:29I talked to a friend online.
00:41:32He's really important to me.
00:41:36And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:50You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and rich kid for bravo...
00:41:58Okay, okay, okay, I get it.
00:42:02You're kind of sweet.
00:42:08Hey, look at that.
00:42:10Oh, my God.
00:42:13Oh, my God.
00:42:15You're a miracle worker.
00:42:22Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:24You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:26Shut up, Ella.
00:42:28It's Emma.
00:42:29Whatever.
00:42:36Oh, my God.
00:42:43Oh, morning, Valley Whore.
00:42:46How are things in the castle?
00:42:53Valley Whore?
00:42:54What are they talking about?
00:43:10Guacamole Wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:14Guacamole Wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:18Oh, my God.
00:43:19Someone hacked my Castle Claimers messages.
00:43:21Touch me, Guacamole Wizard.
00:43:24Yeah.
00:43:25Hey, Valley Whore.
00:43:26Show him what you really like.
00:43:27Oh, my God.
00:43:31Oh, my God.
00:43:34Oh, my God.
00:43:34Oh, my God.
00:43:35Oh, my God.
00:43:35Oh, my God.
00:43:35Oh, my God.
00:43:37Oh, my God.
00:43:46Here you go.
00:43:47Here, this is for you.
00:43:53Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:43:54You hacked my laptop?
00:43:57Oh, no, it wasn't me.
00:43:59It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:00But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:02What kind of incel sex over a video game, Haley?
00:44:06What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:07No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:09Hey, everyone.
00:44:10I think Valley Whore is a catfish.
00:44:13Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:42Stop it, stop, stop.
00:44:46I thought I'd send the janitor some time.
00:44:51Jake.
00:44:53Hey.
00:44:55Now's the time.
00:44:57Tell them.
00:44:58Tell them what?
00:44:59That you're a guacamole wizard.
00:45:02Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:05Here you go.
00:45:08Oh, my God.
00:45:09Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:12Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:17What?
00:45:17Why would you do that?
00:45:18Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:19Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:23Jake, is this true?
00:45:24Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:28Sorry.
00:45:30It was nothing personal?
00:45:36Yeah, nothing personal.
00:45:39Oh!
00:45:40Oh!
00:45:44All right, all right, all right.
00:45:46Enough!
00:45:47What in the world is going on here?
00:45:49Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:51That's all him.
00:45:52Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:45:59Let me get this straight.
00:46:01You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:04It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:06It was Jen's cyber boy spreadsheets.
00:46:08Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:11Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:14You think that's what it could be?
00:46:16Who cares?
00:46:17I care.
00:46:18And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:21So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:23What?
00:46:24Not over my dead body.
00:46:25Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:28I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:30No, no, please don't.
00:46:31Please.
00:46:32Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:34Max's dad called.
00:46:36He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:37You're going to go, and you're going to ask Jen to prom.
00:46:41End of discussion.
00:46:47Come on, you big coward.
00:46:49Message him.
00:46:51Just do it, just do it.
00:46:54You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:03I could never think that.
00:47:10But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:12Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:13I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:20I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:23If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:36Okay.
00:47:37You got this, Haley.
00:47:39Just take a deep breath.
00:47:40You got this.
00:47:41You got this.
00:47:45You look beautiful.
00:47:49Thank you, Mom.
00:47:55I can't really do it.
00:47:57Oh, my God.
00:47:58Let's go.
00:47:58I did something.
00:48:09Hey, Haley.
00:48:10I'm glad you came.
00:48:11You look so pretty.
00:48:12Hi.
00:48:13Hey, Max.
00:48:14Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:16I mean...
00:48:17No, it's just my parents' blood, honey.
00:48:18You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:20They don't care about shit.
00:48:22Get drunk, girl.
00:48:23Woo!
00:48:26Yeah.
00:48:37What are you doing here, valley whore?
00:48:41Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:44Hey, everyone.
00:48:44Let's give it up for valley whore.
00:48:46Valley whore!
00:48:51Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:53What have I even done to you?
00:48:54To me...
00:48:54Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:48:57because those little cringy messages on your castle game,
00:49:00those are concerning.
00:49:02Actually, I'm kind of a little bit of a perv.
00:49:04Did you know that?
00:49:05Haley?
00:49:06She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:08Pervy princess!
00:49:11Pervy princess!
00:49:13Pervy princess!
00:49:14Pervy princess!
00:49:16Hey.
00:49:18Let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:19Leave me alone.
00:49:21Is there a fire?
00:49:23Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:37Paul?
00:49:39Paul?
00:49:41Paul?
00:49:48I don't know.
00:50:15Are you... him?
00:50:18Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:21Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:24Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:26No, I'm not.
00:50:27Yes, you are.
00:50:28It's okay.
00:50:29You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:32So you too.
00:50:34This whole time.
00:50:37Oh my God, I am such an idiot.
00:50:41Hey, wait.
00:50:41Wait.
00:50:47Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:49You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:53Jen was doing just fine.
00:50:54I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:50:55Then what were you trying to do?
00:50:57I guess you.
00:50:58Obviously.
00:50:59The white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:01I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:04Now, what about guacamole, wizard?
00:51:16Who is that?
00:51:17I don't know.
00:51:18Just the devil.
00:51:21Get in the car.
00:51:24I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:27Get in the car.
00:51:28Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:31Haley.
00:51:31Haley.
00:51:32I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:35I'm a servant.
00:51:35So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:41Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:43My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:48And that's not you.
00:51:50You will be forgotten.
00:51:52You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:53And your mom works for me.
00:51:55Stay away from him.
00:51:57Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:01Dad, stop!
00:52:02Don't you touch my family.
00:52:05I'll stay away.
00:52:07Haley, come on.
00:52:08You don't mean that.
00:52:10I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:13I hate your greed and your callousness
00:52:16and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:20I hate everything about you.
00:52:21I hate all of it.
00:52:23I don't want any part of it.
00:52:26So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:30Haley.
00:52:34Fuck this.
00:52:39No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:42Ever since mom died, you've turned into this Cole patriarch.
00:52:45Haley, not that's real love.
00:52:46Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:48I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:51Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:01Hi, Haley.
00:53:02I'm Emma.
00:53:03I know who you are.
00:53:05Right.
00:53:05I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:10So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:13Goodness new.
00:53:18Oh, wow.
00:53:20Thanks, Emma.
00:53:22Okay, bye.
00:53:27One down.
00:53:28One down.
00:53:29One to go.
00:53:30You're so cool.
00:53:31I know, Emma.
00:53:32Wanna go to prom?
00:53:34Why not?
00:53:36Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:53:43Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:44Hi, Max.
00:53:45And Max's friend.
00:53:47Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:49Cole's grounded.
00:53:50Oh, he is?
00:53:52But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:53:54What can I say, Max?
00:53:56Actions have consequences.
00:53:59Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:01Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:07We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:10Cole?
00:54:10My son, Cole?
00:54:12Reviewing budgets.
00:54:14He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:16Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:18We just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop
00:54:20so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:34Go away!
00:54:38Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:41Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:42I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:45Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:47What?
00:54:48What's going on?
00:54:49Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:51You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:53You can be together.
00:54:54Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:54:59No.
00:54:59I'll tell her myself.
00:55:01Sneak me in your car.
00:55:09Welcome to the wizard.
00:55:13Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:14I just need some time alone.
00:55:23Open the door.
00:55:25Wait, what?
00:55:27He's here?
00:55:36It's you.
00:55:38I should have given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:42Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:45My dad threatened to fire your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:49I was.
00:55:50I got my inheritance.
00:55:52And I can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:07Haley, I understand if this changes things.
00:56:11If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:31Nicole, I love you.
00:56:33You do?
00:56:34Yes, you idiot.
00:56:36I've loved you for months.
00:56:38I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though, because I had to be loyal to him.
00:56:45But you're him.
00:56:47You didn't expect her.
00:56:49I mean, I always hoped it was you.
00:56:54Until you hoped it.
00:56:56Yes.
00:56:57I hoped it was you.
00:56:58You were always there for me.
00:57:02You're hot and you're really fucking hot.
00:57:10Hey, uh, one of those things that we could do?
00:57:14You ever go?
00:57:16Yeah.
00:57:19Take my clothes off.
00:57:21Yeah, no, don't worry.
00:57:22Mm-hmm.
00:57:24I'm so beyond you, just beyond me.
00:57:30I'm so beyond you.
00:57:37Just beyond me.
00:57:44Okay, so, what do you think?
00:57:47Ten out of ten.
00:57:48Ugh.
00:57:49Yeah, we'll do it again.
00:57:51I'll get sex for sex with me, specifically.
00:57:53I've only ever had sex with you, specifically.
00:57:56All right.
00:57:57All right, that's fair.
00:57:58I'll, uh, I'll take that as a win.
00:58:02What is my life now?
00:58:04Am I being nice to Cole Edmonds?
00:58:06Mm, no, God, no.
00:58:08I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:12No, I'll just, I'll just lust behind it.
00:58:16There's always been lust behind it.
00:58:17I'll see you in a minute.
00:58:18Stop it.
00:58:23Um, same.
00:58:25Isn't promenade?
00:58:27I think you know if it's promenade.
00:58:29Okay.
00:58:31But the real question is, do you got a date?
00:58:36Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:38Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of gave me to the gym.
00:58:42Oh, God, please don't mention his name again.
00:58:43I don't want to hear it.
00:58:45Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice.
00:58:47But I don't even have a dress.
00:58:50Later.
00:58:54I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:58:58Who would have guessed?
00:59:03I thought, only the best for my princess.
00:59:07Where did you get that?
00:59:09I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to prom
00:59:16with me, and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:20Of course, they'll go to prom with you.
00:59:26Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
00:59:30Cole, are you here?
00:59:32Cole, are you here?
00:59:35Mr. Edmonds, you can't just park into my house like this.
00:59:38If I had you, Cole, you are in big trouble.
00:59:57Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:00You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:05Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:17What do you think?
01:00:22My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:00:29I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:32You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:3420 more minutes.
01:00:36I want 10.
01:00:38Deal.
01:00:41Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:00:45I hear we have a winner.
01:00:49And your 2026 prom queen is...
01:00:54Jen Longfellow.
01:00:56Oh, thank you.
01:00:58Oh, my God.
01:01:00Thank you guys so much.
01:01:02Seriously, this makes the world to me.
01:01:04I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:07Oh, this is just the perfect moment.
01:01:14Oh, my God.
01:01:15That's Haley and Cole.
01:01:17It was fun.
01:01:19Since where did you get?
01:01:24Hey, our, uh...
01:01:25Most time, that's up.
01:01:27No.
01:01:27But who cares?
01:01:30Hell yeah.
01:01:32Woo!
01:01:34Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:01:37Dang it.
01:01:38Language.
01:01:38I am the queen, okay?
01:01:40She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:42Come on.
01:01:43Everyone say it with me.
01:01:44Pervy princess.
01:01:45Pervy princess.
01:01:47Pervy princess.
01:01:50Pervy princess.
01:01:52Wait.
01:01:54Wait, wait, wait.
01:01:55What are those?
01:01:56Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:01:57Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:01His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:04Don't worry, Daddy.
01:02:06If I can't have him, no one can.
01:02:09I'm going to destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:12Is this real?
01:02:13Jen's crazy.
01:02:16Who did this?
01:02:18Who did this?
01:02:21What?
01:02:22You exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think I was going to hack your phone?
01:02:26You little skit.
01:02:28You know, Jen, as the principal, I'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty
01:02:35drama, but quite frankly, you are the worst, and I think it's time that you are expelled
01:02:43from Edmonds Academy.
01:02:45You can't do that.
01:02:46I'm the principal, so yes, I can.
01:02:54Oh, my God.
01:02:58There was no internship.
01:03:00You lied to me.
01:03:08Haley, catch.
01:03:13Oh.
01:03:14Oh.
01:03:15My princess finally has her crown.
01:03:18Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:20Oh.
01:03:21Yeah, no can do.
01:03:23All I have to offer is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder.
01:03:27And a awesome sense of humor.
01:03:29Oh.
01:03:30How can I refuse?
01:03:36Oh, no.
01:03:38That's my dad.
01:03:41We are going home right now.
01:03:44You disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:03:46Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:03:48You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name.
01:03:53Yet, you can't see I've already become that man.
01:03:56And it's because of Hayley.
01:03:58And you can accept that, or I'll make my own path.
01:04:01And best believe me, I can.
01:04:04I'll say this.
01:04:06It's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:11Joy pride.
01:04:19I am so proud of you.
01:04:22I kind of done with all you being by my side.
01:04:25That was terrifying.
01:04:27It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before, though, so...
01:04:31I love you, Balakorn.
01:04:33I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:04:35Oh, my God.
01:04:36I gotta change that username.
01:04:37Yeah, I do.
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