- 6 weeks ago
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00:01There's times during this video, I truly don't know what's happening
00:06This didn't even work. I made duck confit literally thousands of times, but I've lost touch
00:11I fucking went to another place. I went into the void, man
00:15And this is just a snack and this is how you make duck confit and scallion crepes. Strap in. Fucking load up your guns
00:24We're going duck hunting
00:26Get in the blind
00:28After those
00:31Mallard down
00:33We just went duck hunting guys
00:46You know the duck confit we're gonna learn how to do is called cowboy confit
00:52This is rendered duck fat. Four cups of duck fat
00:56Two duck legs
00:58I'm gonna throw in one star anise
01:01Some coriander seed, like one tablespoon of coriander seed
01:04Why am I calling this cowboy confit?
01:06Because if you're a shit cook in a kitchen, you're called a cowboy
01:10You're off
01:11You're off
01:12Toot and toot and shoot
01:14You know, you're a fucking cowboy
01:17One green chili, throw that in there
01:20Just take literally a knob of ginger, cut it in half
01:23So if you get called a cowboy
01:25In your kitchen
01:26That means someone's making fun of you
01:28Fucking cowboy
01:29Every chef probably is gonna make fun of me for doing this
01:32But I'm seasoning my fat in fucking two and a half hours
01:36Maybe three hours
01:38Instead of taking 24 hours
01:40Like two cloves, three cloves of garlic
01:42We're gonna give those a little smash
01:45Boom
01:46And skins on
01:48Why not? We're cowboys
01:50We're cowboys today
01:52Big dog's gonna get his citrus in, you know
01:54Gotta put in like a quarter
01:56Do I have clove?
01:58Whatever
02:00See, this is cooking
02:02We can do whatever we want
02:03Two tablespoons
02:05Salt
02:06And get my old trusty coffee sugar cup thing
02:10And we're gonna add two
02:12Whatever that is
02:13I'm gonna add some cilantro
02:14Little herbage
02:15We're gonna bring this up to a very gentle
02:18Very gentle simmer
02:20We're gonna cook that for about two hours
02:22And we're gonna have a very flavorful duck confit
02:25And this is not traditional
02:27This is cowboy confit
02:30Yeah!
02:31Scallion crepes
02:32Okay, guys!
02:34Add one cup of milk
02:37Two whole eggs
02:39Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
02:42Two eggs
02:43One cup of milk
02:45We're gonna add a pinch of salt right now
02:48Maybe two
02:49I like salt
02:50I like salt
02:51Break up the eggs
02:52Half a cup of flour
02:56And just put in about half of that
02:57Stir that around
02:59It's gonna look pretty clumpy
03:01And just add the rest of it
03:02Get all those clumps out
03:04Oh my goodness!
03:07That's my crepe batter
03:08It's a fucking wrap!
03:09So we're gonna have leeks as some garnish
03:11So a little julienne
03:13It's great
03:14Eh?
03:15Eh?
03:16It's so Canadian!
03:18So leeks are really, really dirty
03:21They grow in the ground
03:22So, oh boy
03:23So we're just gonna let them sit there
03:25Let the dirt fall to the bottom
03:27What are we gonna do now?
03:30So we got about two hours
03:34Making a new show just to dash
03:36Everyone, come check it out
03:37I'm cooking, you're cooking
03:38We're all cooking together
03:39I love you!
03:40This show's about me
03:41About you
03:42It's about food
03:43It's who's food
03:44I'm food
03:45Okay, bye!
03:46So sick
03:47Just all me from my brain
03:49I'm the greatest food writer of all time
03:53Also, this is my friend Pat
03:55He shot my cookbook
03:56Now I'm lying on the cold hot dog
04:03Who sings this song?
04:05Ariande Grandi?
04:07Maybe Ariande Grandi
04:10Ariande Grandi
04:11Do not sue me!
04:12Okay?
04:14I love Ariande Grandi
04:18Do I like skinny here?
04:20Do I like skinny here?
04:24Do I like skinny here?
04:25Oh
04:29Look at these ducks
04:30Perfect
04:32Oh
04:33They taste so good
04:36So
04:37These only took about two hours
04:38Low simmer
04:40Look at these duck legs
04:42Absolutely perfect
04:44With this duck fat
04:45You can just strain it
04:46And then you just have a flavored fat
04:48And you could use that for cooking
04:50You could use this just for confit
04:52You could probably use this three, four times
04:55And then get rid of it
04:56Okay?
04:57Can you use it as body lotion?
04:58You could use it as bot
04:59No, you can't use it as body lotion
05:01Our duck confit is cooked
05:03Look at that little morsel
05:04That little duck confit
05:06So we took just this little thread out
05:09And you lick it
05:11To see how good it is
05:13Then you take a bite
05:15We're gonna make a little bit of a spice blend
05:18And then we're gonna put the spice blend on the duck
05:21And it's gonna add some texture to the skin
05:23Get it crispy
05:24We're gonna use that when we eat the scallion pancake
05:26We're just building textural flavors
05:30Oh!
05:31Describing food is the stupidest thing in the world, okay?
05:34Literally the stupidest thing in the world
05:36So, throw some pink peppercorns in there
05:40Some coriander seeds
05:42Some fennel seeds
05:44Oh boy, that's a lot of fennel seeds
05:45And then we're just gonna take our mortar and pistol
05:48And grind this up
05:50And the thing about it is
05:51We don't have to add any salt or anything
05:53Cause the duck legs
05:54It's already seasoned completely through
05:56Because we did the cowboy confit
05:59All that salt, all that sugar's in there
06:01I'm gonna add just a pinch of cinnamon
06:03That is nice
06:04And this is what this looks like
06:06Birdseed?
06:07This looks like birdseed
06:08So, we're gonna take our two duck legs
06:11Sound guy, coughing
06:13On set like it's his first fucking day
06:16I was performing
06:18You know, what was that guy?
06:19That like lost it?
06:20Batman?
06:21And he just lost it on like
06:23Fuckin' every duck!
06:25Anyway
06:26Fuck!
06:29We've been working all day
06:31All day!
06:32We've got gas!
06:34We're gassing!
06:35The sound guy?
06:38Couldn't hold it in
06:39Anyway
06:41Okay, ba-
06:42See? See?
06:43That's what happens!
06:44I'm a fuckin' thespian!
06:48Okay
06:51I'm a fuckin' thespian
06:53Now what we're gonna do
06:54Is dust our duck legs
06:56Ohh
06:57Well
07:01So now
07:02I've got the oven set at 350 degrees
07:04This is how you look at ducks in the oven
07:09I'm sweatin'
07:10Big duck sweatin' from that
07:11How long?
07:13Did they?
07:15I don't fuckin' know
07:17Watch the video
07:20This show's not-
07:21We don't even know what we're doing
07:22I'm like, there's no, I'm the director, I guess.
07:25So I'm the director, producer, creator, script writer.
07:28So as you get older,
07:29you really fucking get weird fucking shit in your ears
07:32and you gotta fucking really tuck in.
07:34We've literally been making jokes for like a half an hour.
07:37I thought we'd been shooting.
07:39Do we need to go back to me talking about
07:42how I was bummed when I bought this farm
07:43and there was no animals to fuck?
07:47Excuse me?
07:49I don't fuck animals.
07:51Okay, we're gonna make some fucking beautiful
07:54scallion crepes here.
07:57As we're gonna cut this into three, make two rows.
08:01Why not?
08:02Ugh, I didn't even cut these good.
08:03Oh my goodness.
08:04Make sure to cut these good.
08:06We're gonna get a little sear on these first, okay?
08:10Today on animals,
08:11we're gonna learn how to eat animals' asses.
08:16This is too much.
08:18My manager hasn't been in that building for so long
08:21and I'm just saying whatever the fuck.
08:25We're gonna add our crepe batter.
08:27When I'm lying, I'm on the floor.
08:29Eh!
08:32Keep looking out my window
08:33to see if there's any animals out there to fuck.
08:37We can't make that a joke, right?
08:39Like there's no way we can work that in.
08:41I make a duck.
08:42Is there?
08:43Is there?
08:45Steering for air.
08:48I'm looking at like camera B for like my,
08:51I've lost it.
08:53He's like no, keep going.
08:55Keep digging deeper, Matty.
08:58Dig deep.
08:59I think I put too much canola oil in this.
09:01It's okay though.
09:02When I'm lying on the floooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
09:07This didn't even work.
09:08Don't worry.
09:09So you just cook a
09:39omelette. Done. Fuck it. Fuck!
09:46Rang's facetiming me. Good morning. Good morning to you. I'm cooking duck confit.
09:54Oh my god. Can't go wrong with that. You're doing good, man. You're doing great. I'm so happy
09:58to you, baby. You're doing fantastic. What? I said you're doing fantastic. What'd you say?
10:05You're doing fantastic. You're doing fantastic. God damn it.
10:08I'm speaking English, man. Can you hear me? Rang. I said you're doing fantastic. You're
10:15doing great. I'm happy for you. God damn it. Oh. You're amazing. I'm the best. I'm number
10:21one. No. You're not the best. You're the best of all best. The student has become the master.
10:27You have some fucking more knowledge now. I smell you. You smell me? I smell you. What's
10:33that certificate on the back of your wall there? Are you a dentist? They're called a red seal,
10:38by the way. Are you a red seal chef? You know why I get a red seal? Why? So you can work
10:44at a hotel and be a part of a union? The reason for me to get red seal is because my English
10:48is fucked up. That's it. I don't think your English is fucked up. Remember my English are all
10:53fucked up? Yeah. I'm doing a stupid Mississauga right now. So when you have time to pop by.
10:59No. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. I'm not going to do that. Sing me a song.
11:06All right. Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight? I feel sorry that we've been
11:14doing nothing. It's enough. Michelle! Let's finish this. This is crazy. We've been doing nothing
11:27for over an hour. Yeah, I know. It's not okay. Scooch, scooch, scooch, scooch, scooch, scooch,
11:37scooch. I hate doing this. I don't hate doing this. I love doing this. If you're going to be
11:50cooking any of these recipes at home, make sure you have a food stylist. You grab your dog, you grab
11:54your mom, you grab your sister, your brother, you grab your best friend, you grab your fucking worst
11:58enemy. You bring them into the house because you're going to need help. You need a food stylist. I do.
12:03I couldn't even make this happen. Okay. So now we're making our crepes. Nothing works on this
12:11piece of shit. So a little canola oil, not too much. We're just going to put a bunch of scallions
12:16into the pan. Can you hear them? Can you hear them sizzling? Just give them a stir. Scallions.
12:27You try to kill me in my career? You try to take food away from my children? Why are you
12:50trying to kill me in my career? Form and come together? Okay. I'm going to stand up. This
13:01is ridiculous. You can take your little rubber spatula and just go around the edges. There
13:09we go. Let's check on the duck. Look at those. The duck's done. Look at these. Look at those. Look
13:20at these. Look at those. Look at these. Perfect. Little pancake. Little crepe. It's a crepe. It's
13:31not a pancake. It's a crepe. Flavorful. We've done the cowboy confit. The salt, the sugar,
13:40the star anise. And now we've graduated and built another textural, crunchy, fresh spice
13:48onto the crispy duck skin. And we're going to just shred that. Ripping off that meat. Ripping
13:56off that meat. That's hot. Wow. And then you just kind of mix that up. Oh. Wow. Wow. Wow.
14:09Cut the crepe in half. Add some of the delicious, delicious duck. Just a little bit of leek.
14:17Crunchy, crunchy. We got some really good chili oil here. It's really spicy. So just a little
14:22bit. Got a little hoison. A little cilantro on top. Squeeze of a lime. Dude. And then we roll
14:34this up. Watch this. You roll these up and you put these out on the table for a bunch of
14:51buddies. Let me tell you. Everything I make is like incredible.
15:04Oh God. The duck is so good. The chili oil, the raw leek, the green onion scorching, the
15:16scallions, the scorched scallions, the pancake, the crepe, this duck confit, this cowboy duck.
15:25Grab your lasso. Grab your lasso and try to catch this duck because you'll never be able
15:31be able to. You will never come close. You throw that lasso up into the sky, this duck confit
15:38is flying high. We had a lot of fun this episode, didn't we? Did we learn a lot about duck confit?
15:44Scallion crepes? No. I don't think so.
15:51You throw that the fish.
15:53Go see you in the sea.
15:54Go see you in the sea.
15:58Go see you in the sea.
16:00Who are you?
16:02God, and you?
16:03It's a delicious?
16:04Go see you in the sea.
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