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Malcolm In The Middle Lifes Still Unfair S01E04 [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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00:09No way, and you cannot have it yet.
00:11Something came up.
00:14Can we move this along here, please?
00:16You're not wrapping a Christmas present.
00:17I've got a party to go to.
00:19Lady, your leg is broken.
00:21You're not gonna do anything except go home and rest.
00:24Less yapping, more wrapping.
00:26Lois, I am so much less high now.
00:29Sir, please, their earlobes are gushy.
00:31Gushy, gushy.
00:32Stop it.
00:34I want my little hammer back.
00:39Okay, we'll print your post-treatment orders and get you some painkillers.
00:43Yeah, I don't need them.
00:44What are you doing?
00:45Sit down.
00:46Your cast is still setting.
00:47You don't even have crutches yet.
00:49You're going to injure yourself even worse.
00:51Then I'll come back after the party tonight, and you can fix that.
00:54Come on, Hal.
00:56Hal?
00:58Squishy.
00:59Oh, squishy.
01:03Life is unfair.
01:09Okay, come on, let's go.
01:11Mom and Dad are already there waiting.
01:13Kelly, breathe.
01:14It doesn't start till 8.
01:15You want to look sharp or not?
01:17Just, I wish I knew what revenge Reese had planned for me.
01:19Don't worry about Reese, because there's nothing you can do about it.
01:23It's like a tornado, except there's no alert.
01:25It's just something you've got to accept.
01:28What the hell?
01:28My underwear's already too tight.
01:30Francis, get me a pair of your mom's granny panties.
01:34Right away, honey.
01:38Wayne, you need to adjust these speakers.
01:40I'm not talking about the volume.
01:41I'm talking about the mix.
01:42That speaker is too quiet, and these three are too loud.
01:45And did you remember the backup tables I asked for?
01:47I know you don't mean it, but I'm getting a vibe of impatience bordering on menace,
01:51and it's pushing my agitation levels past the point of productive conversation.
01:54So, we'll continue this after I've run cold water over my hands.
01:57Honey?
01:58Now, please, I don't need any help.
02:00Just back off and let me do everything.
02:02Honey, I'm so sorry.
02:04I should have realized that my natural enthusiasm was just adding to your stress.
02:10You've got this.
02:11Everything is already perfect.
02:13Are you still high?
02:14No.
02:15I'm just more perceptive, because of the ego death that I experienced from my expanded consciousness.
02:22This is so young.
02:25Let me know if you want a break.
02:27I juggle the sound pizzas every Wednesday at Shadyside Assisted Living.
02:31Yodeling, barbershop, yodeling, barbershop.
02:34People go nuts.
02:39Wow, I'm surprisingly nervous.
02:42What's surprising about it?
02:43Yeah, you go see these people for years, and now you have to face them and explain why.
02:47Hey, hey, here's how I see it.
02:49We both want to avoid Mom and Dad as long as we can,
02:51so we hide into the spotlight dance and come out when I'm the happiest.
02:54Before then, it's every man for himself.
02:59Nice.
03:00Give me your business card later.
03:02Malcolm?
03:04Malcolm!
03:05Oh, are those your friends?
03:07I wouldn't call them my friends.
03:09Malcolm!
03:10It's us!
03:11They're friends!
03:14Hey, guys.
03:15You know how we've missed our fourth musketeer?
03:21Lloyd, Dabney, Kevin, this is Tristan and my daughter Leah.
03:24You procreated!
03:25What a relief.
03:28The three of us have also created a child.
03:30Like, with a surrogate?
03:33Sure.
03:35That's our Hubert.
03:39There's an aunt!
03:41Don't worry, I have confused her.
03:43So, what have you guys been up to?
03:45Genetic Tech Resources.
03:47Incorporated in college and started getting contracts before we even graduated.
03:51Department of Defense.
03:53We're doing so much weird shit.
03:58There's your mom.
04:06Stevie!
04:07Oh, my goodness!
04:08It is so great to see all of you.
04:11Hi there.
04:13This is Tristan and Leah.
04:15Hi.
04:16How are you?
04:17I was wonderful.
04:18Up until the moment I caught my ex-husband wallowing in his usual vortex of resentment,
04:23based on nothing other than his own self-loathing.
04:26But thanks for asking.
04:28Tell your mother, I do resent her showing up here,
04:32wearing the necklace I gave her 29 years ago to be my forever love.
04:37It is a slap in the face across space and time.
04:39Tell her!
04:43Tell her!
04:47Dad...
04:51says...
04:54he does...
05:01resent...
05:02rat cowards.
05:05You...
05:06All I'm saying is Dewey is stupid to be here on a laptop.
05:10Eat my balls, Jamie.
05:11I'm being considerate.
05:13Excuse me.
05:14Hey.
05:15I'm sorry.
05:16We'll have to get back to you.
05:17We're all just so busy.
05:19Yeah, we're completely swamped.
05:20I'm sorry.
05:21I don't have any excuses.
05:23I just want to clear the air and make it right.
05:27Please.
05:30Well, it's not like this is the first horrible thing you've ever done.
05:34Hey, Leah, do you want to hear all the horrible things he's ever done?
05:37Yes.
05:38Kids, I need some help.
05:40They put the Javari chairs and high tables in front of the low tables,
05:42and it's blocking the eyeline to the stage.
05:44Hi, Grandma.
05:46Well, that was somebody who actually likes to hug.
05:49I said I would try it for your birthday.
05:51Malcolm, I'm so happy.
05:53He was distracted and crawled.
05:55What the heck is wrong with them?
05:57He showed up.
05:58Give him a break.
05:59No.
05:59Jamie's not ashamed of his family.
06:01You know how hard it was for him to get permission to leave the base and come here?
06:04Oh, they don't know that I'm gone.
06:07I'm on guard duty right now.
06:11In the face.
06:13Across space.
06:19And time.
06:22Okay.
06:23Who wants another one?
06:23Well, you can tell your father to find a dictionary and look up the meaning of the word gift,
06:28unless it's like every other thing in our relationship that came with secret conditions
06:32that he would only reveal when he needs to attack me when I'm at my most vulnerable.
06:44She loves you.
06:49Can I have Francis' head, Hurt?
06:54That's what military school did to us, baby.
06:57You'll never shake it.
06:59Wow, you started early.
07:01I think 10 is a respectable age.
07:03We were just raising a toast to our dear old Commandant Spatner.
07:08What the hell you want our bastard?
07:12Uh, you want to tell me what's in the sack?
07:14Are you my parole officer?
07:17No, seriously, are you?
07:18Okay.
07:19We decided to do one last keeper for old time's sake.
07:24Nice statue head.
07:26I came, I sawed, I conquered.
07:32That's good.
07:34We're putting that on the Instagram.
07:37It was the most beautiful, transcendent experience.
07:41Abe said you were rolling around naked on filthy linoleum choking yourself.
07:45Transcendently?
07:49Kelly, before you try anything, just remember, revenge for an unjustified revenge is justified,
07:54but revenge for a justified revenge is unjustified revenge.
07:57Yeah.
07:59Relax, we're in a ceasefire until the party's over.
08:01Could you, uh, sneak me a couple dinner rolls?
08:12It's so nice to have someone I can share my deepest feelings with.
08:23Crap.
08:24Yah, sounds like I'm seven.
08:27Quick, change the subject.
08:33Perfect setup.
08:35I look great.
08:52I made him nervous.
08:58Cute.
09:00Pretty.
09:01Hot.
09:15Eww.
09:17Eww!
09:20Wait.
09:21Where the hell did you get that mac and cheese?
09:23I brought it from home.
09:26When I get back, I'm expecting a new full-side plate handed over without any looks.
09:33There you are, Piyama.
09:35Oh, my juicy, jelly bean.
09:40Gretchen, so great to see you.
09:43We were so sorry to hear about Otto.
09:47He didn't suffer.
09:48The Puma is very quick and efficient.
09:51What are you doing now?
09:53I am a doona for cattle.
09:55I go from town to town, cow to cow, helping them give birth.
10:00It's very spiritual.
10:02They're not.
10:03They clean up.
10:04That's nasty.
10:10Oh, my goodness.
10:13You have a calf inside you.
10:16Howdy.
10:16Oh, it's my gift.
10:18Oh, you're good.
10:19We don't know yet.
10:23Do you want to?
10:25What the hell?
10:26The video of us beheading the statue got 3,000 dislikes.
10:30Who doesn't love a classic prank?
10:32Let me see.
10:35Uh, where was this statue?
10:38In front of the bar.
10:39Had a creepy vibe, so we didn't go in.
10:41And did this bar have a name?
10:43That was weird, too.
10:45It was called Stagnus.
10:47What is that?
10:49Like, how much you're like a stag?
10:52Idiots, it's not Stagnus.
10:54It's St. Agnes.
10:58It's a church.
10:59Whose statue do they put in front of churches?
11:08Looks like...
11:09Burger King.
11:11Well, no wonder they're mad.
11:13People love that guy.
11:36Maybe I'm overreacting.
11:38Maybe he was teasing.
11:46What a creep.
11:49My first crush is a creep.
11:57It's been 20 minutes.
11:59I still don't have a better idea.
12:01Malcolm!
12:04Occupied?
12:05You think I wouldn't crawl under and pull you out of there?
12:15Can we do this outside the men's room?
12:17Nope.
12:17It's gone on long enough.
12:19We're gonna straighten everything out right here, right now.
12:21We're gonna go back to the party as a family.
12:22The shrimp is bad.
12:23The shrimp is bad.
12:25We're not serving shrimp.
12:27I ate something with a tail on it.
12:32Oh, sweet mother.
12:33Mercy, it burns.
12:34Now let's go.
12:36You can't be serious.
12:38If you want to get out of here,
12:39you are gonna tell me why you have been doing this.
12:44Come on.
12:44Out with it.
12:47Sorry, I know you didn't mean me.
12:49How do you think one conversation in a toilet's gonna fix everything?
12:52I don't, but at least it's a start.
12:55What do you want to do?
12:56Wait for my funeral?
12:57There's nothing to say.
12:59It's just the way we are.
13:01We all just swirl around each other fighting and taking turns creating disasters.
13:05So we drive each other nuts, so what?
13:07That's what families do.
13:09It's more than that.
13:11I like myself better when I'm not around you.
13:14So you have said.
13:16And I feel bad for who I am when I am around you.
13:22What?
13:22You yelling?
13:24Spitballs to a battleship.
13:26No.
13:26I mean, I know I'm disappointing you.
13:32What?
13:34He said he knows he's disappointing you.
13:38Sorry.
13:39I'll be quiet.
13:41Now I'll be quiet.
13:43Mom, you've always had these gigantic expectations of me.
13:48Like I'm some sort of superhuman brain that can fix all the world's problems.
13:52I'm sorry.
13:53I can't.
13:53And I can't deal with that pressure.
13:55When did I ever pressure you?
13:57You said I had to become president of the United States.
14:00President?
14:02Is that what this is about?
14:04Malcolm, that was just a plan.
14:08Plans aren't contracts.
14:09They're just plans.
14:11Your father and I have made hundreds of them.
14:13And look at us.
14:14Barely ever work out, so we just make some new ones.
14:16Yeah, you can't take it that seriously.
14:23That was you lying?
14:28You've been lying to me all this time?
14:31Do you know the kind of drama you caused me for a lie?
14:35Maybe you've suffered under your lie for 18 years?
14:39What kind of synthetic monster are you?
14:45Aw.
14:48We tried to give you very specific positive goals to help you get through college.
14:52So you wouldn't just party and drop out and end up in a homeless shelter.
14:56That was called good parenting.
14:57You don't even care about the constant stress and anxiety of trying to live up to that?
15:02Do you realize that my degrees, my charity, the awards, my beautiful, perfect daughter, finding a woman who loves me
15:11for me and makes my life complete?
15:14All of that was based on your lie?
15:16How could you do that to me?
15:21Wait.
15:23Malcolm, you've accomplished so much.
15:25And all of it is you.
15:29It's just you.
15:32You're a good father.
15:33You're a good man.
15:35Better than we ever hoped.
15:38And I wish we didn't upset you so much.
15:40And I can't say it's ever going to get better.
15:43I just miss you.
15:47I miss you, too.
15:51I'm trying so hard to hold him in.
15:53It just makes the pitch go higher.
15:55Please, let's just get out of here.
15:58Oh, by the way, I love my granddaughter.
16:02Yeah, that's pretty easy.
16:03And I approve of Tristan.
16:04Thanks.
16:05I mean, I don't actually need your approval.
16:08I know.
16:08But I approve anyway.
16:11Thanks.
16:12I really love her.
16:14I think I love her like you and Dad.
16:23We are no longer friends.
16:25We'll discuss it after dessert.
16:30Hey, Dad.
16:31Looking good.
16:32All better now?
16:34Glad we're past that.
16:34We're not past it yet, Rhys.
16:37Do we miss anything?
16:38Hold me higher.
16:39I can't see his face.
16:40You are in for it now.
16:41You're right, all right.
16:42You're right.
16:42It's your moment.
16:43We'll pile on later.
16:46Dad, there's no point in me saying I'm sorry.
16:49I'm always sorry.
16:51But this is different.
16:53I not only took advantage of you,
16:55I did it by pretending to have a closer,
16:58more loving relationship.
17:02I know how horrible I made you feel.
17:05And the horrible thing for me
17:08is I was faking the relationship
17:11I always wanted with you.
17:14Way to take all the fun out of it.
17:16Nice, man.
17:17That is the most honest apology I have ever heard.
17:22Wow.
17:23But it is completely meaningless.
17:25Oh, wait.
17:25It's good again.
17:27You have always counted on the fact
17:28that no matter what you do,
17:31I will always love you.
17:32And that is just true.
17:34It is for all of you.
17:36I assumed the love was just there
17:40in every cell of my body,
17:42and I was helpless to prevent it.
17:44But then I realized that
17:45that was just for your mother.
17:47You guys are completely different.
17:49You're so unfailingly destructive
17:52and self-absorbed and oblivious
17:56that you make it so damn difficult
17:58that my genuine, deep love
18:01is an actual act of heroism.
18:04Well, do you realize how good
18:06that makes me feel about myself?
18:11Thank you for that gift.
18:15Especially you.
18:22Are you sure everything's ready?
18:23Don't worry.
18:24Don't worry everything's ready
18:26or just don't worry?
18:27Whatever answer makes you stop glaring at me,
18:29I don't like it.
18:31It's too late now.
18:32Wait a minute.
18:35Can I have your attention, please?
18:37Everyone?
18:41This is such an important day for me.
18:45After 40 years of frustration,
18:48Hal has finally let me celebrate
18:50our relationship my way.
18:54My way.
18:56Today is happening exactly the way
18:59I always wanted it to.
19:01Because, honey,
19:03for once,
19:04for once,
19:08it's not about me.
19:09It's about you.
19:11Oh.
19:20Happy anniversary, sweetheart.
19:23This has taken so many online tutorials
19:25and equipment rentals
19:26and crazy expensive laptop
19:28I've been hiding from you.
19:30and I hope you like it.
19:32What would you like people to know
19:34about your father?
19:35That is a
19:37complicated man.
19:40No, he's not.
19:41He's the least complex man of all time,
19:44which I love.
19:44I spend so much time touring in different cities.
19:48Sometimes I don't know where I am.
19:50And then dad calls.
19:51He doesn't understand time zones.
19:53And it's always like
19:54four in the morning.
19:56But it's still very thoughtful.
20:00Two minutes talking to him,
20:02I feel like I'm home.
20:04Anyway,
20:05it got me thinking.
20:06And I wrote this.
20:13For me,
20:14the most singular thing about dad
20:16is his stamina.
20:18The sheer amount of grief
20:20he could stomach.
20:21I got in trouble,
20:22got in fights,
20:23got suspended,
20:24got expelled.
20:26Twice.
20:27Dad was always
20:30unfailingly patient with me.
20:31The first time I met Hal...
20:33Oh, got married to you
20:34without telling them?
20:35That was a big one.
20:37Anyway,
20:37I was dreading it.
20:39As far as I knew,
20:40all dads were drunk and mean.
20:41But he was always so steady
20:43and reliable.
20:44Now he feels like my real dad.
20:47Got arrested three times.
20:48No, arrested twice.
20:50Expelled three times.
20:53We were all
20:54pretty wild.
20:56But my brothers,
20:58they were so far ahead of me
20:59that I needed to find my own thing.
21:03So,
21:04I chose noise.
21:05I especially like the sound
21:07of crashing.
21:09Dishes,
21:10lamps,
21:11big windows,
21:12little windows.
21:13If you know what you're doing,
21:15I mean,
21:15you can create these frequencies
21:16that rip right through your brain.
21:19And when dad stopped me,
21:20he was always so gentle about it.
21:25I mean,
21:26it really made me want to be peaceful.
21:30I really appreciated his tenderness.
21:33Even though I'm kind of a tough guy.
21:35I mean,
21:36look at these beasts!
21:39Can the love of your life be a man?
21:41Another heterosexual man?
21:43And I say yes.
21:44A thousand times yes.
21:46When someone is that loving
21:48and giving
21:49and honest
21:50and true,
21:51you can't stop it.
21:52You understand?
21:53He's not just my best friend.
21:55He's the best person.
21:57No one disagree with me on this one.
22:02Al
22:04is a great man.
22:09Everyone expects me to talk about
22:11how forgiving and accepting he is.
22:13And he totally is with me.
22:16I don't know why I do what I do.
22:18I actually asked a therapist about it,
22:21but he was all,
22:21I don't know you
22:22and I don't work for free.
22:24But what I'm really thankful for
22:26is the optimism he gave me.
22:28I still wake up every day
22:30thinking I'll be better.
22:32He's always cheerful.
22:33And honest.
22:34And helpful.
22:35And wise.
22:36And honest.
22:37Good man.
22:37Oh, right.
22:38You already said that.
22:39I admire his enthusiasm
22:41and his courage.
22:42I mean,
22:42he could try anything
22:42and make us do it too.
22:44Our vocal group?
22:46Firewalking.
22:47Firewalking.
22:48And don't forget insightful.
22:50Nobody else recognized
22:51that my bluster
22:52was just a cover
22:53to hide my shame
22:54at ruining Secret Santa.
22:55And he's incredibly general,
22:57especially when he's playing poker.
23:01Hey, Dad.
23:02I'm sorry this is so rushed,
23:03but I'm just a holy swamp.
23:04But I want to say,
23:05I love you.
23:06I admire your decency
23:07and your honesty
23:08and your hair.
23:10So happy birthday.
23:12Happy birthday.
23:13Hey, Linda,
23:13can you bring me that report?
23:16I was like five
23:19when I started feeling wrong.
23:23I thought I was great
23:24at hiding it
23:24because you guys
23:26never said anything.
23:28But then
23:29I had this one
23:33really shitty day
23:35in the fifth grade,
23:36the other kids
23:37and even my teacher.
23:43When I had
23:44little kid problems,
23:47I'd just go to Dad
23:49and he'd clown around
23:50and make me feel better.
23:53And I wanted to do that,
23:55but
23:56instead I just
23:57blurted out,
23:58Dad, am I wrong?
24:02and
24:03he was looking at me
24:05and
24:05and I knew that he knew
24:08and had always known.
24:11And
24:14I could tell he was thinking like
24:16really hard.
24:20And I was terrified.
24:25And then
24:26then he finally said,
24:28it could be nicer
24:29to your mom sometimes.
24:33So yeah,
24:35I like him.
24:40Sincere,
24:41loyal,
24:42tenderness,
24:43brave,
24:43funny,
24:44incredible,
24:45remarkable,
24:46wrinkling,
24:47charming,
24:48considerate,
24:49sparkling,
24:50sexual,
24:50love.
25:02We did it!
25:03Woo-hoo!
25:04All of us are beautiful,
25:08Hal,
25:11when we first met,
25:13I knew I'd been looking
25:14for you my entire life.
25:20You're my wish come true.
25:30où,
25:35whoah!
25:37Bye,
25:43whoah,
25:45whoah,
25:46whoah!
25:49Hi!
25:50Woo!
25:51That's it,
25:51I am.
25:52me no one ever let us excuse me it feels weird to insert myself into this moment but if i
26:05don't
26:05do it now i'm afraid i never will dad i'm sorry for how crappy my part in that was
26:15i didn't realize how much this meant how much you meant
26:22i'm sorry
26:33i thought i was improving myself by being away from you
26:37but instead i forgot the important things i learned from you give everyone a chance
26:45love is brave
26:49don't stop believing
26:52i know where you got that one but it's still good so love is brave
27:02tristan i am so flawed there are so many parts of my personality that don't work right
27:08but i love you so much will you marry me
27:30that doesn't work for everything stevie
27:34malcolm i love you so much but we both just found out we've been keeping gigantic awful secrets from
27:44each other we have to figure that out before we do anything
27:51except sex we'll definitely have sex later
28:14get off your phone it's a party go talk to that little weirdo he looks lonely
28:27hi i'm leah hubert who ordered you to approach me
28:32my grandma she could tell i was lonely just as i could tell you're lonely it's probably because you're
28:39odd i am well then we're a match made in heaven don't you eyebrows and you're already giving me good
28:47advice
28:48we're blossoming
28:51hi would you like to join what may become a super cool friend group
28:59yeah okay thanks
29:03can i ask you guys about something really embarrassing if you knew me better you wouldn't
29:08go ahead
29:10ladies and gentlemen we present the anniversary dance under the spotlight please remember they chose the music
29:19i don't know what you're talking about
29:23well it's just a silly little romantic thing it's no big deal
29:27do you feel my heart beating do you understand do you feel the same am i only dreaming
29:57oh my god i'm sitting in a dream you are a dream
30:10do you feel my heart beating do you understand do you feel the same am i only dreaming
30:22It's just a day I'll never keep coming
30:29I'll never be coming
30:35Do you feel my feeling to your side?
30:43Do you feel my feeling to your side?
30:55Do you feel my feeling to your side?
31:06Do you feel my feeling to your side?
31:09I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I wasn't supposed to
31:13I didn't mean to
31:15Do you like it?
31:30This is the most incontestable forfeit of a security deposit of all time
31:36And well worth it
31:38Ow!
31:40What?
31:40What the hell?
31:42My leg is killing me
31:47When the hell did I get a cast?
31:51Having friends is awesome
31:53I had no idea
31:54We talked everything out and they gave me a whole new perspective
31:58So, I am going to send a picture
32:01Well, a screenshot
32:03To his parents
32:04And every girl in school
32:10Teachable moment
32:12Just so you know, Grandma actually helped me solve a problem
32:15Really?
32:16How?
32:17Well, by bossing me around about something completely different
32:21That's the M.O.
32:23It just occurred to me
32:24My next poo is going to be amazing
32:28Nice job ruining the anniversary
32:31Me?
32:32Everything would have been fine if those rafters were spaced properly
32:34Oh, fool, those rafters are exactly the code
32:37They absolutely are not
32:38For God's sake, Reese
32:40Building codes specify different rafter spacing
32:42For 4x6's and 4x8's
32:44And there's no way you can tell the dimensions from down here
32:45And when a zipper sticks
32:47You don't keep yanking on it
32:48Alright?
32:48You pull gently and wiggle it side to side
32:51That's another thing, that cheap zipper
32:53There's tons of things to blame
32:54Tomorrow we'll be down to city hall
32:55Well, I guess this is my life again
32:58I just have to do everything I can to make it work
33:01Mostly because I can't think of any way out of it
33:04Hopefully he is going to be okay with this family
33:07I like this family
33:08I feel so much less weird by comparison
33:11I hope Dad's going to be able to handle it
33:15I'm sure he'll be fine
33:33Oh, I say his name
33:36And if you believe in me
33:38Don't dare to say
33:40I'll be a freak, I'm sorry
33:42Come on and wind me up
33:44Six coming days
33:45No matter four
33:46Lemme show you how that landed on the dance floor
33:47Rock, rock and forth, fish upon another flight
33:49Let me teach you how to
33:51I'll be a freak, I'm sorry
33:53Come on and wind me up
33:55E-O-R-E-S-O-R-A-D-E-N
33:59I'll be a freak out boy
34:01Come on and wind me up
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