00:00We met last night at the club
00:02You told me you were in love
00:04Came home and smushed in the tub
00:06And now you're in my yard
00:08Woke up and saw you were gone
00:10You're running across my lawn
00:12Without your pants or shoes on
00:14Here comes my Saint Bernard
00:16Vodka was flowing
00:18But cleavage was showing
00:20Your mind, I was blowing
00:22Man, we were so freaking wasted
00:24Tag, you're my boyfriend
00:26My name is Carly
00:28But all my doctors
00:30Just call me crazy
00:32I made you Pop-Tarts
00:34With extra gravy
00:37But I'm a call girl
00:38You have to pay me
00:40Sight, I'm just kidding
00:42Aren't I crazy?
00:45Let's watch 12 hours
00:46Of Chelsea lately
00:48And all the other boys
00:51Try to tase me
00:53The doors are locked now
00:54You can't escape me
01:00Come on, let's do sex again
01:02I wanna be more than friends
01:04Look how far my legs can bend
01:06I'm sorry I can't stay
01:08Look, I don't mean to be rude
01:10But I don't think that we screwed
01:12I've got the pictures to prove it
01:15Hey, don't look away
01:16You're my one and only
01:18That's what my doc told me
01:20But don't think you owe me
01:22Now let's sacrifice some chickens
01:24I've got some handcuffs
01:27Feel free to spank me
01:28But here's a safe word
01:31It's call me maybe
01:32Hey, this is my band
01:35They seem to hate me
01:37They don't look like
01:38They're really plain
01:40Crap, that's my husband
01:42He's in the Navy
01:44He's gonna kill you
01:46He's also crazy
01:48I'm gonna kill you
01:50Cause that's my lady
01:53What's going on here?
01:55He tried to rape me
01:56When people try to rape my wife
01:59It makes me so mad
02:00It makes me feel bad
02:02I'm gonna kick your ass
02:05Come to think of it
02:06My wife is just a guy in drag
02:08I need a real man
02:10So call me maybe
02:17The Key of Awesome
02:35If you want to see my pair of these
02:36Just look right here baby
02:38Do-do-do-do-lay those things
