The Young Offenders S05E03 (2026) | Trouble Never Takes a Day Off ππ₯ Full Episode
Chaos is back againβ¦ ππ₯ In The Young Offenders S05E03 (2026), the boys find themselves in another ridiculous situation that quickly spirals out of control.
As plans go wrong and consequences pile up, their friendship is tested in the most chaotic way possible.
π Watch now and enjoy the madness!
#TheYoungOffenders #S05E03 #ComedySeries #FullEpisode #Sitcom
Chaos is back againβ¦ ππ₯ In The Young Offenders S05E03 (2026), the boys find themselves in another ridiculous situation that quickly spirals out of control.
As plans go wrong and consequences pile up, their friendship is tested in the most chaotic way possible.
π Watch now and enjoy the madness!
#TheYoungOffenders #S05E03 #ComedySeries #FullEpisode #Sitcom
Category
πΊ
TVTranscript
00:01There was an old wise man who I met in prison.
00:03Well, he couldn't be that wise because he was in prison.
00:06But he warned me that the hardest thing about being locked up
00:08isn't the thought of where you are, it's the thought of where you're not.
00:12It's knowing that life outside is continuing on without you.
00:15And that the girl of your dreams is now the girl of some other prick's dreams.
00:19Linda is getting married to Gavin fucking Madigan.
00:23But, after a lot of soul searching, I decided that I was going to be the bigger man.
00:27For better or worse, she was going to stay completely loyal and faithful to him
00:32for the rest of their entire life.
00:39Easy, mate. Looking good, kid.
00:42I hope it lashes rain on the way to the waiting.
00:44And that the whole place is flooded.
00:46Oh, yeah, well, I see what you're saying.
00:48And then Gavin's driving along and his tire hits a puddle,
00:51and he aqua plays.
00:52And he crashes.
00:53And he's paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of his life.
00:55And he's to talk using one of those machines.
00:57Oh, I'm Gavin Madigan.
00:59And it's nice to meet you.
01:01Jesus, buddy.
01:03Is that a little bit dark, no?
01:04Oh, sorry.
01:05I thought that was the direction we were going.
01:07I hope he doesn't die, like, just gets bruised up a bit.
01:10You can throw the suits on.
01:11Yeah, come on.
01:11Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:16Oh, good shoes.
01:18Don't you look lovely?
01:19Oh, I need a hook.
01:20Oh, what's this?
01:23Oh, Connor, for God's sake.
01:24They must have forgotten to take the tag off in the shop.
01:28We bothered him.
01:29You're on probation.
01:30Do you want to go back to jail?
01:31No.
01:34What do we do?
01:35Go on, get the good scissors quickly.
01:42Do you think it's a good idea you go into this wedding today?
01:44Linda invited me, like, so...
01:46Look, hon, I know this is hard to hear, but...
01:49You will find your someone.
01:51What if I've already found my someone,
01:53but I'm not her someone?
01:59What's this, stolen goods?
02:01Jesus Christ, Tony.
02:02Can you not be a guard for one day in your life?
02:04Mam and Healy were in that phase of their relationship.
02:06All couples go through.
02:08Oh, I'll just go and see the Noel Saul, eh?
02:09The hating each other phase.
02:11Do you know what?
02:11That would be lovely.
02:12Because he probably wouldn't even recognise you at the moment.
02:15Healy was working a lot of triple overtime
02:16to pay for nappies and nipple cream.
02:18All right.
02:19I'll just turn a blind eye to whatever it is
02:20I'm supposed to be turning a blind eye to, so will I?
02:23Jesus Christ.
02:24But deep down, love was still in the air.
02:26Wanker.
02:29Try that.
02:33Hurry.
02:34Thanks, Leigh's bag.
02:35No, no, no.
02:36Clare, it's not a second.
02:39What?
02:40Nothing.
02:48You're notisable.
02:49Eh, you'd have to be really looking for it.
02:52Yeah, they're out there leaving the security tag on the blazer.
02:55Oh God's sake, they're doing the same to mine, Jock.
02:58There is something else now.
03:00Hand it over, Jock.
03:01Thanks for me and Maria, Jock.
03:03Um, here, I've got to head over to Siobhan's there.
03:05I want to see, eh, I want to see Star in the flower girl costume.
03:08Is this one of your unsupervised access days?
03:10No, but...
03:11Something tells me Siobhan won't be ringing her solicitor today.
03:15You know what they say about weddings?
03:18No.
03:18What do they make women horny like?
03:22It seems like they do nothing for me.
03:23Oh, fierce horny, Moray.
03:25Yeah.
03:26If I'm going to get back with Siobhan, this is my big chance.
03:28So wish me luck, yeah?
03:29All right, Jack.
03:30Good luck.
03:31Thanks.
03:32It's a randy day.
03:43Oh.
03:50Morning, Gordon.
03:57Morning.
03:58Jeez.
03:59You need to go.
04:00Now.
04:01I have them.
04:03I have them.
04:04That's great.
04:07You can't go down there.
04:08You have to go through the window.
04:09The window?
04:10Yeah.
04:10What's that?
04:11Are you having a hat?
04:13What's wrong?
04:14I'm going.
04:15Okay, I'm going.
04:18Fuck.
04:19I'm fuckerly.
04:26Handsome Darn, the painter man?
04:28Yeah, boy, I'm telling you.
04:29Are you sure?
04:30What do you mean, boy?
04:31Should I know his arse as well as I know my own face?
04:34Handsome once posed for an ad for hemorrhoid cream.
04:37The billboard company went bust, which meant the poster stayed up for three years and became one of Cork's biggest
04:42tourist attractions.
04:44Fair play to her, Lee.
04:45What are you on about, Cork?
04:46His name is Handsome Dan, Jack.
04:49He's gorgeous.
04:50Oh, you're not getting what I'm telling you.
04:52If she's shagging Handsome Dan the night before her wedding, it means she obviously doesn't want to marry Gavin Madigan.
04:57It's a proxy ride.
05:00A proxy ride?
05:02Okay?
05:02Yeah, sure.
05:03She might have gotten up and down, but she was thinking about you by the whole time.
05:07Really?
05:08Sure.
05:11She's thinking about me?
05:12Yes, you, boy.
05:13She's still in love with you.
05:15This was going to be my last chance to win Linda back.
05:18And what's more of a romantic place to do it than a wedding?
05:21Her wedding.
05:22Half a sausage just left your fork there, aren't there?
05:25Right, this sausage is going to sort me out now.
05:28She's sick.
05:29I'm done.
05:30Bart, take it away from me.
05:33Why'd you have that?
05:35To take her Auntie Linda into her dress.
05:37Don't want her tits spilling over when she's saying her I do's.
05:39Okay, girls, 40 minutes and we head to the church, yeah?
05:41We're not going to the church, remember?
05:44You know what I mean.
05:45It's a great idea Gavin's to have the wedding in the place where you two first met.
05:48He's too tight to spend his own money is what he's saying.
05:50Well, I think it's mad romantic.
05:52Let's try and get him even.
05:55I don't want one for mine.
05:56The other one in Charlevoix.
05:59Look at him.
06:05Find him.
06:19You alright there lads, yeah?
06:21Conor has a question for you.
06:24Conor has a question, yeah?
06:27Yeah, Conor has a...
06:28I just want to ask, did you have sex with Linda Walsh last night at the head?
06:32Yeah, mind now lads.
06:33Know yourselves, a gentleman never tells.
06:36Yeah, but if you did sleep with her, I just want you to know she was probably thinking of someone
06:40else the whole time.
06:41Yeah.
06:41Now that you say it, she actually did keep shouting out some other lads name the whole night.
06:46Well, you should have heard her.
06:48She was all...
06:49Oh!
06:50Oh, Jesus Christ!
06:52Oh, Jesus Christ!
06:54Oh, Jesus Christ!
06:56Look, whatever happened between you and Linda, alright?
06:58She didn't know for kind.
07:00Alright?
07:00And now she's going to marry some other fella.
07:02Alright, cool.
07:03So what's up with me, like?
07:04We want you to come to the wedding and tell Gavin Madigan that you slept with Linda.
07:08What, humiliate her?
07:09Yeah, yeah.
07:09You don't have all of her friends and family?
07:11Exactly.
07:11Yeah, if you don't mind.
07:13So you should be ashamed of yourselves?
07:14Yeah.
07:15The answer's no.
07:16Get lost.
07:18I hate to admit it, but maybe Hanson was right.
07:21He was more than just a six pack and a cute arse.
07:25Come on, wedding guests, please.
07:26We see you in the assembly hall.
07:29I've been getting married at school.
07:32Cheapest thing I've ever heard in my life.
07:33It's all garbage.
07:35It was time to bow out grace, William.
07:41So the better man won in the end, huh?
07:42It's not a competition, Lee.
07:44Of course it was a competition.
07:45And I wiped your eye for you.
07:49A wedding doesn't count if it's in a school.
07:52I think that's actually true, you know.
07:54Don't you look at the state of them.
07:58Would you stop being such a snob?
08:00It's amazing what you can find in a charity shop if you're not fussy.
08:05One sec.
08:08Or I'll make your eye.
08:13Siobhan would like you to sit next to her for the mass.
08:16Really?
08:17What about...
08:18Don't mind what Barry thinks.
08:20As Linda said, you're a star's daddy.
08:23Which makes you family.
08:25Yeah.
08:26Aw, thanks.
08:27Man.
08:27All right, Khan.
08:29A smile wouldn't kill you.
08:31I don't want you to have a horny day.
08:39The rumour is this could be Father Rooney's last mass.
08:43Supposed to be going through a crisis of faith.
08:46Yeah.
08:47Everything all right, Linda?
08:48Yeah.
08:49You're not thinking of jilting him at the altar, are you?
08:52It's just, you know, the reception's after costing me a fortune.
08:54Dad!
08:55It was a joke.
08:59He's a good man, Linda.
09:01Solid, you know.
09:03And the best thing about marrying a teacher, as your mother knows well, you can't be sacked.
09:07No matter how bad you are at your job.
09:10You know the way you love them spring rolls from the paddy field above at Bishopstown?
09:14Yeah.
09:15Well, there's nothing wrong with not wanting those spring rolls every night for the rest of your life.
09:19What?
09:20You've lost us.
09:21Last night, you fancied the spring rolls from Walk This Way in Toker.
09:25And there's no shame in that.
09:28I'm gonna be sick.
09:30I'm gonna get sick.
09:36Siobhan!
09:37The caterer said the money is non-refundable.
09:39Piss off, guys!
09:41I'm good.
09:42I'm good.
09:44I'm fine.
09:46I'm fine.
09:49Oi.
09:50Try to control yourself when we're saying the vows.
09:53The last thing we need on video is to sound you blowing your eyes out.
09:56Billy thinks weddings are like funerals.
09:58You can just turn up, pay your respects, and get free booze and sandwiches.
10:04Billy!
10:05Why do you let him talk to you like that?
10:08I'm not letting him.
10:09It's his day, alright?
10:11Like he said, he won.
10:13Won?
10:13Is that what this is all about?
10:15Winning?
10:16I thought it was about love.
10:17Do you still love her?
10:19Of course I love her.
10:20She doesn't love him.
10:23Why, she slept with Hanson Dan Fogarty at the hen last night.
10:27She didn't want her.
10:29Look, as much as I love a good Valavan, I think we're gonna have to cancel this wedding.
10:34And how do you suppose we do that, Billy?
10:36We suppose we could drag Hanson Dan in here, and he can confess in front of the whole congregation.
10:41I tried that. He said no. I asked.
10:42That's your big mistake. You asked him.
10:46Oh, are you okay?
10:48No, Billy. I'm really sad.
10:50Okay.
10:52God, he is so intense.
10:55Just don't remember her Clavin's feelings.
10:57That's the worst reason to get married.
11:00Especially when it's stopping you from getting what your heart really wants.
11:02He's a good person, Siobhan.
11:04If he's a good person, he'll understand that you want to go back to your first love.
11:10You're horrible, Dad said. Everything is paid for now.
11:15Sir, you ready to be a flower girl?
11:17Yay!
11:31You would have been on time if you hadn't stopped at every orange light.
11:35I'm on time. We're here before the bride.
11:37Thanks to you.
11:39I can't believe you got overtaken by a mobility scooter.
11:42Could you maybe stop him crying?
11:44Will I switch him to flight mode, will I?
11:45Just take him outside.
11:47Maybe you should take him outside.
11:48Oh, Jesus.
11:58In you, Pop.
12:00Please, what?
12:01Look, I'm not going to hurt you.
12:03Fingers crossed.
12:04I'm just going to bring you to this wedding and you're going to tell everyone how you rode the bride
12:08last night.
12:09All right, just mind my ass going in as the money maker, all right?
12:13You're not claustrophobic, are you?
12:15No.
12:15No?
12:16You might be after this.
12:20Do you notice they all have the same tash?
12:23Yeah.
12:24Directed three musketeers.
12:26Except as far as I'm always going.
12:31Can we have a quick chat?
12:33A quick chat?
12:35A bit of a war?
12:38Somewhere in private.
12:51Listen.
12:55I want to say I'm sorry.
12:58For being such an asshole to you just now.
13:01Is this some sort of joke, like?
13:02I was standing on the altar and it dawned on me that.
13:06Yes.
13:07I should be thanking you.
13:08For why?
13:11Because you'll be something I'll never be.
13:14It's Linda's first love.
13:17And you know, she said to me,
13:19she wouldn't have fell in love with me
13:21if you didn't teach her to love in the first place.
13:24Linda? Linda said that?
13:27Would you do me a favour?
13:31Would you do the readings for us?
13:35I know it would mean a lot to Linda.
13:41Garvin.
13:43The whole thing.
13:46For the second time that day,
13:47I realised that humiliating Linda in front of her family and friends
13:51might not be the right thing to do.
13:53Billy.
13:54I changed my mind.
13:58Careful now, I don't want to hurt you.
14:00Oh, here we go.
14:03I tell you something.
14:04You're going to get your steps in today.
14:06I'm here.
14:17That's a really long car.
14:22What's that about?
14:23It's great.
14:25She's here.
14:27Where'd you go?
14:29It's going to be okay.
14:30Where?
14:33Oh, Jesus Christ.
14:45And remember, the least any of us deserve us to be happy.
14:48Thanks, Vaughn.
14:53Come on.
14:55Come on.
15:04Are they going to do community like this?
15:07What?
15:08What?
15:08Wait.
15:10I'm hungry.
15:11First love stayed with you forever, forever, forever.
15:15First love stayed with you forever, forever, ever.
15:17Oh, this is so great.
15:19Real.
15:20Repeat like an earthly tremor forever, ever.
15:23First love stayed with you forever, forever, ever, ever.
15:32What?
15:33I don't mean to you.
15:36The way to school, I tried to meet you.
15:40Your father used to drop you off
15:44You'd step out of red cartina
15:48You looked so pretty on those winter mornings
15:56I know you're not used to making any advice
16:01But you found your someone
16:04I don't want you to mess it up like I did
16:09You should go get him
16:13Not now
16:15Go after him
16:18We're gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of
16:20Gavin Madigan, Linda Walsh
16:25Yeah, first reading
16:26Who is for the first reading?
16:31First reading, thank you
16:33Connor
16:34Is it Connor? Are we Connor?
16:37Are you the first reading?
16:39Are we the first?
16:40Yeah, I know
16:40And then
16:41Come on, come on
16:43What's yours?
16:44There he is, Mary
16:45Come on
16:45Here
16:46I mean, yeah
16:48Lovely
16:50What?
16:51Yeah
16:52Hurry, I'm not going to read the whole thing
17:01Hey, Linda said you have a Mickey on your leg
17:04I can't park it on Polos
17:10Can you please get a move on? I'm playing golf at three
17:13Public speaking isn't my strong point
17:15But I was going to nail this
17:16For Linda
17:17The first reading
17:20A reading from a book of, or, sorry, the book
17:24What's wrong with you?
17:25Come on, guys
17:26You can't read, is it?
17:27I can read, I'm just a bit dyslexy
17:29Or just make it up and say anything
17:34Do I speak with the tongues of men
17:39And of angels
17:41Angels?
17:41Oh, eh, ain't that angels
17:45But have not love
17:47I have become
17:50Brass
17:52And a resounding
17:54Gong
17:54Is a resounding gong alright?
18:04Kevin
18:04What?
18:07Linda, I'm sorry
18:08I wanted to be happy for Linda
18:10But I can get a bit hormonal at weddings
18:12And I have the tendency to mess with my decision-making process
18:15But fuck it
18:16Back to the old plan
18:17So quickly now there's gonna be an answer from you
18:20And it's one for me
18:22Hello
18:24Connor
18:24Billy
18:26I changed my mind again
18:27Okay
18:29Operation Handsome Hand Grenade is a go-go
18:33Every other hour that I spend with you is not the beast
18:36It's sad
18:38But the opposite in that belief
18:40You don't believe me is the proof
18:41Ask me if I
18:43And they'll say I
18:44What?
18:44I do
18:45Dang, dang, dang
18:47Change your plan
18:48Mind your head
18:51And now before Gavin and Linda make their solemn commitment to each other
18:54They've written their own vows
18:56Which they're now going to recite to each other
19:00Combine on my phone
19:01Brilliant
19:04Shit
19:04What?
19:05It's asking for a software update
19:07Matt's saying yes
19:09Why didn't you just print them out?
19:11I don't know
19:11It's the only one I was saying we're living in a pay for this world
19:15Do you not like, I don't know, remember them?
19:19Three guesses as to who's singing this
19:21I don't know
19:22No
19:23Your ma
19:24No
19:26Go on, have another guess
19:27Is it Daniel actually?
19:28Gilbert O'Sullivan
19:29He's actually from Waterford
19:32What could it be?
19:34Woo!
19:35That's matrimony
19:36It won't take long
19:40Look, it's initialising
19:45Where's Billy?
19:49Look at this brickwood house
19:51There's nobody on the road
19:56Look, come here
19:57I've got somewhere I've got to be.
19:59Chop, chop.
20:00All right, lad, I'm only messing with you.
20:02Go on, go ahead.
20:03In your own time.
20:09I'm sorry about this.
20:11It took me hours to ride him.
20:13And there's a little bit of something in there for everyone.
20:16Cries.
20:17Laughters.
20:18Zero car chases, sir.
20:20Well, we're all on tender hooks, I'm sure.
20:23It's 80%.
20:24You'll be cutting the cable the time we get there.
20:26Shut up, you!
20:29Steve McQueen.
20:30Fuck.
20:31All right, tell the therapist I said hello!
20:35What's happening, Shakespeare?
20:37It's the Wheel of Death.
20:38I think it's frozen.
20:39We're going to leave the vows.
20:41Well, that's ruined everyone's day, I'm sure.
20:44Right, let's zip through this.
20:46Right, Gavin, Jimmy, Barry, Madigan, do you take Linda, Anastasia, Walsh,
20:50be your lawfully wedded wife, sickness and health, up and down, deathly apart?
20:54I do.
20:54Great.
20:54Linda, do you take Gavin, lawfully wedded husband,
20:56sickness and health, rest your days?
20:59I...
21:04I...
21:05I...
21:05So, yes.
21:07What did she grab her, Steve?
21:10I don't know who's the face.
21:12When I saw Linda's face, I realised the desperate lengths that love had driven me to.
21:17Oh, mother of God, who's this now?
21:20It's Dan Fogarty.
21:23He's a good-looking fella, isn't he?
21:24Yeah.
21:25Yeah, and he's got something to tell you.
21:27Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
21:32Dan, you can go home.
21:34Yeah.
21:34But I've brought him for you, Colin.
21:36Are you the fella from the poster?
21:37What is he doing here?
21:39He had sex with the bride last night.
21:42He what?
21:43Fuck.
21:45No, he didn't.
21:46Sure, how could he?
21:48He was with me all night.
21:52Playing cards, like, here.
21:54You don't have to lie for me, Colin.
21:57I'm so sorry, Gavin.
21:59Was it the full ride?
22:01Because I'm over the braction, I can forgive.
22:03I don't want your forgiveness.
22:06I don't want to marry you.
22:11I thought I did, but then I realised I wasn't being true to myself.
22:15And what I want more than anything in this whole world
22:19is to be with my first true love.
22:24You're not talking about that fucking lang ball, are you?
22:28Dolphins.
22:30Dolphins?
22:31Yeah.
22:32I want to go to UCC and study marine science.
22:35How are you going to say me there, Linda?
22:37Then I'm going to work with an NGO
22:38and clairs all the plastic from the Pacific Ocean.
22:41You really thought you were going to say me?
22:42I'm sorry.
22:44To both of you.
22:46But you're holding me back.
22:48Did anyone else think she was going to say me?
22:51Ah, right.
22:52Well, I'm teeing off at 3.30.
22:53Good luck.
22:56Sorry.
22:58Are you sure, Ian?
23:00Well,
23:02it's the software update finished.
23:05You shouldn't even worry about the nice things that I had to say
23:07because
23:09it would be wasted on someone like you.
23:13They were all wrote by ChatGPT anyway.
23:23Hey.
23:31Look, I know you've been working really hard and...
23:33Yeah, to provide for our child's future.
23:34I know, but I'm saying you don't have to.
23:37I've already raised a son.
23:38I did it by myself without a penny to my name.
23:40He turned out all right, didn't he?
23:42Yeah, is that the one who's just done three years in prison?
23:45That's a fair point.
23:48Look, all I'm saying is
23:49what kind of future is our little boy going to have
23:51if his mother and father are strangers to each other?
23:55Yeah, I suppose it is a bit early to start thinking about
23:57which college to send him to.
24:01Keep him alive, show him love, that's the job.
24:04Everything else you just make up as you go along.
24:14Are we going to this wedding, then?
24:16Oh, the wedding's off.
24:18It's off?
24:19Long story.
24:22Maybe you and me could go home while he's asleep.
24:27Guess it's true what they say about weddings.
24:40That's your fucking fault.
24:41Oh, yeah?
24:42It was my fault.
24:43You're the one that told Billy to put an answer to the church.
24:45To the church?
24:45Boy, that's hardly a church.
24:46You were too stingy to have fought real with.
24:48Ah, she was out of your league anyway.
24:51I love you, Linda.
24:52I love you more.
24:55Oh, the fucking fault.
24:58Out of his league, is it?
24:59Well, it's true.
25:00Hasn't he got a good job and isn't a permanent and pensionable?
25:03We pay for half of this wedding, all right?
25:04And you can sing for us.
25:06Oh, yeah.
25:06Bladder him back.
25:09Oh, being married to a school teacher
25:11isn't the end of everyone's rainbow, you know?
25:13Well, neither has been married to a slapper.
25:17You're never going to get married again, boy.
25:18I'll get married to myself, guys.
25:20All right?
25:20Yeah?
25:20Yeah?
25:20What?
25:21What?
25:21What do you know?
25:21That would do.
25:22It's like, boss.
25:36Look, come on!
25:38Huh?
25:39Oh, man.
25:39I really love you.
25:41Don't you go!
25:42You see what I'm doing?
25:45You quote me, boy.
25:46Uh-huh!
25:48Hey, boys!
25:48Stop it!
25:49No!
25:50Pass the place!
25:51You got it!
25:52Right, boyfriend!
25:53Turnvel!
25:54What?
25:55Wait, boy!
25:55Oh, am I a box-stick?
25:56Wahr subscribers! Ah!
25:56I like your husband free, so I'm strong now
26:00I have been lost in my life
26:01I'm lost in my life
26:05We're not down
26:07Keep playing for Cork with a kick like that
26:09Come in and fuck that around again
26:13We're not down
26:14In the end, no one got what they wanted
26:20Except for Linda
26:21And she won
26:24The day didn't turn out the way any of us imagined
26:27Except Jock was right what he said
26:30Weddings really do make women horny
Comments