- 2 days ago
Break The Game 2023 Ranked
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00:14:17For years, I felt like I was an alien stranded on planet Earth.
00:14:30While the other kids played outside, I was in my room, while you're there.
00:14:36While my classmates learned to drive, I was setting world records in the Beetle Adventure
00:14:41Racing.
00:14:48One day, I forgot to go to school because I was so absorbed with designing my own video game,
00:14:54a MegaZeus game where you travel through space and save the world from evil robots.
00:15:05I even programmed my schoolyard bully Brad as one of the bosses.
00:15:26Suddenly, my mom came home and saw I wasn't at school.
00:15:35But she wasn't mad. My mom knew I was absorbed in a creative process.
00:15:39I saw I'm afraid.
00:15:45But now, she was a real man.
00:15:47I'm a real man.
00:15:52My mom is going home and see my dad.
00:15:52She's my dad.
00:15:55I'm a real man.
00:15:57I'm a real man.
00:15:57She was bored.
00:15:57You, I'm not too shy with my dad.
00:16:09I want to go on a bigger, better journey than Zelda Ocarina of Time.
00:16:15And it's going to be a beautiful new revival.
00:16:20Six, five, four, three, two, one.
00:16:36It's wild.
00:16:48These controllers are tiny.
00:16:57We haven't even started playing.
00:17:00One thousand, thank you all.
00:17:03That's very cool.
00:17:04Thank you all for tuning in for my new journey.
00:17:10You know, today feels like Christmas or something.
00:17:15Hey, D-girl.
00:17:16Oh, I guess you can't hear me.
00:17:18Hello.
00:17:21Here we are.
00:17:32We've just started.
00:17:34You're at the beginning here.
00:17:35This is the very beginning.
00:17:37Shrine of Resurrection.
00:17:44We're about to leave this cave.
00:17:50There's a huge world.
00:17:57You fought valiantly when your fate took an unfortunate turn.
00:18:02Here you now stand, revitalized, 100 years later.
00:18:13This truly feels more like an adventure than any game I've ever played.
00:18:18I'm really happy right now.
00:18:32Oh, I'm featured right now, am I?
00:18:35That's actually pretty cool.
00:18:40Welcome, everyone.
00:18:41Just watching from the front page.
00:18:59I've been doing a lot of soul searching over the last several years, and it led me back
00:19:07to the point where I wanted to sink my life into Breath of the Wild and stream it.
00:19:17Naderan, thank you very much.
00:19:233,000.
00:19:24That's insane.
00:19:28Thank you very much, D-girl.
00:19:36What do you do for a living?
00:19:38And feel free to not answer any of this, obviously.
00:19:49Oh, golly gosh.
00:19:50I don't even know your name is Alex.
00:19:54Now I know.
00:19:59I'm from another galaxy.
00:20:02Oh, no, I live alone.
00:20:04I kind of like to have my own space, but also, if I'm alone, then it's lonely.
00:20:15Well, I should probably go to sleep.
00:20:18Oh, you just got home.
00:20:19I'm sorry.
00:20:20I'm sorry.
00:20:21I gotta go to bed.
00:20:23I have to, I guess I kind of stream so that sometimes I am part of people's daily routine.
00:20:31It's kind of cool to have people tuning in regularly and kind of coming along the journey
00:20:36with me.
00:20:40Peace out.
00:20:40Goodbye.
00:20:43I bet you can bowspin to do that.
00:20:45But bowspinning also doesn't get as many hits, so you need more stamina.
00:20:48So...
00:20:50Narcy, what's up?
00:20:52Sitting stable at, like, 10 plus viewers, it's just, like, it's fucking amazing.
00:20:57Like, seriously, like...
00:20:59It means...
00:21:00It really means so much to me that you guys fucking, like...
00:21:04Come around to watch me be bad at games.
00:21:06If I could have any pet, it would be either a skunk or a bat.
00:21:15Katarina says...
00:21:18D-girl, I like your username.
00:21:22D stands for dick and to death to your foes.
00:21:24D-girl, have you ever had soylent?
00:21:27It tastes really good.
00:21:30I'll go to bed for not to eat on a lot of things, but not for that fucking soylent shit.
00:21:35What was that on the ground?
00:21:36Was that, like, a nut or something?
00:21:41Or should I say nut?
00:21:42Nut.
00:21:43Nut.
00:21:44This is the way I am to people I like.
00:21:46So if I'm giving you shit, it's probably because I like you.
00:22:03I really love the people here, honestly.
00:22:07Not to get all, like, soppy and shit.
00:22:09I'm getting a little emotional.
00:22:11This is magical.
00:22:13Oh my god, there's a star.
00:22:20They're gobstoppers.
00:22:27D-girl, will you be my D-girlfriend?
00:22:39I think I'm dating Narcissori, I don't know.
00:22:47D-girl, I've been thinking about you being here.
00:23:11I like the view up here.
00:23:13I feel like I'm in a high point in my life suddenly.
00:23:16And I think this game is partially to thank for that.
00:23:23Someone chopped down a tree and, like, launched it super far.
00:23:27But then Link pulls the paraglider, and it actually maintains the momentum from the ragdoll physics.
00:23:34And I'm like, oh my god.
00:23:44Okay, like, look at this tree, right?
00:23:50This looks bad, actually.
00:23:52This one right here.
00:23:53This one.
00:24:11Oh, damn it.
00:24:13I guess we want to go more this way.
00:24:21I'm down.
00:24:22Hey, Narcissori, she's calling up to say hi.
00:24:26Give me a call sometime.
00:24:27All right, I love you.
00:24:29Five new voicemail from mom.
00:24:31Hi, my darling.
00:24:32She care, boy.
00:24:34All right, sweetheart.
00:24:35Hang in there.
00:24:36I love you.
00:24:37Call me when you're free.
00:24:39Bye.
00:24:43Oh.
00:24:49Oh.
00:24:50Hey, why?
00:24:54All right, this is doable, I think.
00:24:56We can do this.
00:24:58Let's fucking go.
00:25:02No, that's what I call speedrunning.
00:25:05She just started her run.
00:25:07Let's go.
00:25:09I'm disrupting speedrunning, much like I did in 2011.
00:25:12I want to be the single greatest player of this game.
00:25:15Nine hours and 38 minutes.
00:25:17It's 5-0-4-11.
00:25:183-51-59.
00:25:20There's a whole journey to it.
00:25:22There's the magic to it with the streams.
00:25:24Learning and improving.
00:25:26Keeping people company during lonely nights.
00:25:46I can't get up this.
00:25:47It's too high up.
00:25:48But I think I can jump it with this.
00:25:50You take a bomb.
00:25:51You place the bomb.
00:25:53Then it's like shield, backflip and detonate, forward air jump, shield surf, paraglider.
00:26:01And then you climb up the wall.
00:26:03And you do it all really fast and accurately.
00:26:05So let me try.
00:26:06It's like...
00:26:10Wait.
00:26:10It's hard to do.
00:26:16Oh my god, come on.
00:26:21Come on, why didn't that work though?
00:26:23What the fuck?
00:26:25I started today feeling very adequate.
00:26:27And now I feel like kind of inadequate.
00:26:34It's okay.
00:26:35It's okay for me to be a mess on stream sometimes.
00:26:37It's okay.
00:26:38I have self-image issues like a lot.
00:26:44Being trans...
00:26:45You walk this fine line between being like...
00:26:49A goddess and a monster.
00:26:55It's hard for me to explain this.
00:26:57But sometimes it feels like I...
00:27:01Am really not...
00:27:05Enough.
00:27:06Or I'm not enough.
00:27:08Or I'm not like where I want to be with myself.
00:27:11I don't want to feel like I'm like this.
00:27:12I don't want to feel capital of this.
00:27:19I don't know.
00:27:20I don't know.
00:27:21I don't know.
00:27:25I don't know.
00:27:28I don't know.
00:27:35I don't know.
00:28:02a group of people showed up and we're like
00:28:05we're with something we're looking for jake for people who are having trouble and then i said
00:28:10i'm not jake and then i said well what's your name and then i was like if you don't know
00:28:17my name
00:28:17then go away and then they're like okay but can we leave a card and i'm like okay fine
00:28:27mental health crisis services
00:28:31i wish i asked them more questions like how the fuck like why are you here
00:28:52i need a fucking cloth
00:29:21i don't like that
00:29:24i think
00:29:40so
00:29:51To be continued...
00:30:30I think I've been very desperate for any attention.
00:30:33And thus, the people who show me negative attention, I seek it out.
00:30:40I've read more hate than you can imagine.
00:30:43I've read thousands and thousands of hate messages towards me.
00:30:49Kill trans people.
00:30:50Kill these freaks.
00:30:53Cosmo's not my name.
00:30:54My name isn't Cosmo.
00:30:56My name isn't Cosmo.
00:30:57My name is Narcissa.
00:30:59All this fucking, like, transphobic shit.
00:31:01I feel like I started to internalize some of that shit.
00:31:03Watching this stream right now involves swarming killers.
00:31:07Don't be surprised when you find Cosmo dead.
00:31:09Narcissists are fucked in my head.
00:31:11Signed is for attention.
00:31:13Law is for sex.
00:31:14End.
00:31:17People reacted really negatively to anything that was apparently some sort of weakness.
00:31:22So I fucking blew up the weaknesses.
00:31:24I pressed myself up against the wall and did some crazy shit.
00:31:28Please support me, please.
00:31:31Flush all your credibility and dignity down the toilet.
00:31:34Okay, would you shut up?
00:31:35Maybe I've caused a little damage.
00:31:37Certainly other people have caused some damage to me.
00:31:39It's like I want to respond to all their comments.
00:31:42What's going on in your life on the other side of the screen?
00:31:44Another fucking coward.
00:31:46Goodbye.
00:31:47You are coming into random people's chats being a bigot.
00:31:50Being a total piece of shit.
00:31:55I complain about people being negative towards me.
00:32:01You talking shit about me on YouTube not even a week ago?
00:32:13Then it causes another whole group of negativity to spawn off of that.
00:32:20I can almost date these people into spreading my image all over the place,
00:32:24even though it's really negative.
00:32:31I'm so lost.
00:32:34How do I navigate this fucking online experience?
00:32:48Hi, Angel.
00:32:50Hi.
00:32:54How are you?
00:32:56I've been a bit emotional lately.
00:32:58It's great to be emotional and it's great to be deep and aware of what you are,
00:33:04of the world and everything,
00:33:06but mostly you shouldn't be crying a lot.
00:33:10I know, I know.
00:33:12Yeah.
00:33:16I haven't seen you in three years.
00:33:19No!
00:33:21I know.
00:33:21No!
00:33:22No!
00:33:22No!
00:33:28I should probably be calling you more often.
00:33:31Yeah, I know.
00:33:33That's all I do is think about you every day.
00:33:36Bye-bye.
00:33:37Bye-bye.
00:33:39Let's just drink all of our sorrows away.
00:33:58I feel like I'm in a mental rut, so I'm never going to pull myself out of it.
00:34:07Okay.
00:34:09If anyone in my chat is like a counselor or a therapist dealing with people who have depression,
00:34:17let's have a conversation publicly.
00:34:21Twitch must be my all and my everything.
00:34:25It must be.
00:34:27It has to be public.
00:34:30No, stop doubting the power of the internet.
00:34:42I feel isolated.
00:34:44I feel it.
00:34:47I feel really lonely.
00:34:49I don't feel like I have friends.
00:34:53I think that I don't know how to be friends with people.
00:34:57Me interacting with people IRL is like me being really shy and closed.
00:35:03And then like, having trouble connecting.
00:35:06That's my experience.
00:35:13I have this queen-size bed.
00:35:16It's like, all I want to do is like roll around with someone.
00:35:21And like, I just don't.
00:35:28I'm just alone.
00:35:33I feel like you are.
00:35:44Here's the boss.
00:35:45All right.
00:35:56Oh my god, and oh my god, why?
00:36:02Jesus, too much is happening right now.
00:36:08Okay, voice chat with me right now.
00:36:15It's ringing, it's ringing. Hi. I don't know, like, where do you feel we are right now?
00:36:21I feel not alone right now.
00:36:23Yeah, I feel like I'm sharing my time and space with you.
00:36:26Yeah, but I don't get to like wake up next to you and shit.
00:36:30That's almost not even distant. Okay, like look, there's like physical into this.
00:36:34It is absolutely distant. Okay, it is, it is, it is.
00:36:37It bums me out, man.
00:36:39Let's hear what's my guitar.
00:36:47It bums me out.
00:36:53It bums me out.
00:36:56Yeah, this is beautiful.
00:36:59It bums me out.
00:37:03Your voice is so beautiful.
00:37:05It bums me out.
00:37:09It bums me out.
00:37:10And if I could be in your apartment,
00:37:16And you could be in Southern California all the time.
00:37:29All the time.
00:37:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:37:40Three, two, one, go!
00:37:45It's me.
00:37:46It's D-Girl.
00:37:49This is only our first date, c'mon.
00:37:51You gotta fucking take it slow.
00:37:54I opened up Narcy's fridge.
00:37:56It is only soylent.
00:38:00And then a fucking jar of peanut butter.
00:38:03I died the moment I opened it.
00:38:07It tastes like fucking mulch.
00:38:10So she keeps her room dark.
00:38:14Fucking garbage bags in the window.
00:38:16It's like, it's kind of a nightmare.
00:38:20I'm gonna be nesting so fucking hard.
00:38:23Nesting.
00:38:24We're gonna upgrade some shit in your apartment.
00:38:26That's okay.
00:38:27I'll fucking upgrade it.
00:38:30Damn!
00:38:32Alright, thank you all for like,
00:38:33on this street.
00:38:34Yeah.
00:38:35For sure.
00:38:36Thank you for tuning in.
00:38:37I'll see you later.
00:38:49We've been improving my place, basically.
00:38:52Yeah, I'm trying to make her have a apartment like an adult.
00:38:56I'm actually like, super hungry suddenly.
00:38:58I want some pizza now.
00:38:59We can just get it.
00:39:01But we need to like, end this stream.
00:39:03No, do another attack.
00:39:08These are here.
00:39:09I'll be right back when I get pizza.
00:39:14That's been good.
00:39:15There's this person there with me.
00:39:17And like, I'm not being like, harshly judged.
00:39:20And like, we're like, doing cool shit.
00:39:23And like, improving things.
00:39:24And it just felt really like,
00:39:26I felt like this bond.
00:39:27And it was really fucking good.
00:39:29And I just started like, crying really hard.
00:39:30And it was like, incredibly fucking like,
00:39:32it felt almost like, therapeutic.
00:39:34It felt like, extremely good.
00:39:36I think she's back.
00:39:38Cool.
00:39:43Hey.
00:39:44Hey.
00:39:45Cool.
00:39:46How do you think it's going?
00:39:48Um, I still haven't left the plateau.
00:39:52I'm about to start another one, I guess.
00:39:54Although I could use a slice.
00:39:56I could use a slice.
00:39:57It's the first time for a slice for you.
00:39:59Okay, we're going back to IRL.
00:40:10Yeah.
00:40:28I'm about to start another one.
00:41:30Come on, this is the run.
00:41:37Yes, first try.
00:41:42We're heading to the airport later tonight.
00:41:44And that'll be the end of our five-day vacation.
00:41:49I'm squeezing every last possible second out of the day.
00:41:52There is he.
00:41:54Yes, this is world record pace.
00:41:57Adrenaline pumping through my veins.
00:42:00Holy shit.
00:42:11Oh my fucking god, no.
00:42:16I think I just lost one minute.
00:42:21I failed the tree launches every fucking run lately.
00:42:24I don't understand why.
00:42:25Still a minute ahead.
00:42:38I staced it too, really.
00:42:40So it didn't go.
00:42:42It wasn't disconnected from the bottom yet.
00:42:46I'm so bummed.
00:42:47Like, what the fuck?
00:42:48Okay, it's over.
00:42:49It's actually over.
00:42:50I'm so fucking sad.
00:42:51That's it.
00:42:51Like, there's no more.
00:42:53That's it.
00:42:54I could have had it and I didn't get it.
00:42:55It's over.
00:42:57The run's over.
00:43:02It's time to go.
00:43:04It's time to go.
00:43:55It's time to go.
00:44:18Okay, I'll use those to play games or something.
00:44:20I don't know.
00:44:21How's life for everybody?
00:44:24I missed you too.
00:44:25I missed you too, but it's been replaced by missing Narcy even more.
00:44:31Like, I really like her.
00:44:33So nice.
00:44:36The line is it was a gaycation, but we just haven't gotten right.
00:44:42We haven't, like, hammered out shit.
00:45:06What I missed is feeling like the universe loves me.
00:45:10And that everything was good.
00:45:15A lot of my ego is built out of the impact I had before.
00:45:21And I feel like I don't have that impact anymore.
00:45:24And it really hurts me.
00:45:27Feels like I've failed if I can't reach that.
00:45:33Hello, hello.
00:45:34Let's hash out everything we are to each other right now.
00:45:37I'm going to start a new run while we're chatting.
00:45:40So you're saying that, like, you would kind of want to develop something with me?
00:45:46I mean, I'd like to think I'm building a relationship.
00:45:51I've kind of designed my life in a way where I can just focus in on a few things that
00:45:57I really want to work towards.
00:46:00Okay, so what do you want?
00:46:02I want to be idolized by my viewers.
00:46:0620,000 viewers or bust.
00:46:25If this is the record, then we must post a Reddit thread called
00:46:29Absolutely Disgusting Record by Narcissa.
00:46:33Do I still think I can get over 10,000 viewers in Breath of the Wild?
00:46:36Yes, I do.
00:46:37I certainly do.
00:46:43Clear your minds for this jump.
00:46:50We're actually on pace for fucking sub 340.
00:46:53It's unbelievable.
00:46:57I want this run.
00:46:59I want to finish this run.
00:47:01I want this to be the run.
00:47:08Oh my god.
00:47:12That was fucking miraculous.
00:47:15Oh my fucking god.
00:47:31This beats the record by minutes.
00:47:36May I ask?
00:47:39Do you really remember me?
00:47:41Peace and love.
00:47:43Peace and love.
00:47:44And remember...
00:47:46Trans girls rule Breath of the Wild.
00:48:03The current world record holder on Zelda Ocarina of Time.
00:48:09You immediately have an audience, right?
00:48:11Oh, absolutely.
00:48:13Several thousand usually tune in for Zelda.
00:48:20I was at the precipice.
00:48:23And now, I'm like a fallen star.
00:48:29I want to feel like I'm on top of the world.
00:48:33I feel like I'm being swallowed by it.
00:48:52No one in the world gives a fuck.
00:48:56It turns out life is not a fairy tale after all.
00:49:03Turns out everyone abandons the fuck out of you.
00:49:06Everything I've done up until now, it was all over nothing.
00:49:12I will never succeed in the way I succeeded in the past.
00:49:20This stream will all be fucking big again.
00:49:22It'll never fucking happen.
00:49:23I'm not relatable anymore.
00:49:25It doesn't matter if I'm the best fucking player in the world at this game.
00:49:28No one fucking cares.
00:49:29I've gone from being the superstar to the fallen star plummeting into earth like a fucking comet.
00:49:36Slamming down, creating a shockwave and burying in my fucking chasm so deep as everyone piles on and pushes me
00:49:43down into the caverns of darkness where I'm crowned the queen of hell.
00:49:50They think I'm a deranged freak who's delusional and shouldn't kill myself.
00:49:56They only fucking watch me if I'm raving.
00:50:00So the only solution is just to fucking go nuclear.
00:50:09I am the monster that you all created.
00:50:15These fucking people watching and observing me as I sit here and fucking really struggle.
00:50:21I fucking hate this game.
00:50:23I hate people who watch a video.
00:50:24That fucking twitch of your shit is so fucking boring.
00:50:26Young slash fucking poor taste.
00:50:28I fucking hate you.
00:50:53So what happens if I call that phone number?
00:50:56You get to talk to your counselor.
00:50:59My phone is right here.
00:51:05Suicide prevention lifeline.
00:51:07Um, well I cut off all my hair and I guess it was like an act of self-harm.
00:51:18And I'm feeling kind of hopeless.
00:51:23It's like people want to see me fail.
00:51:29And anytime there's any sort of sign of weakness, they pinpoint it and like harass me and like pick at
00:51:34it like a scab until I'm squeezed and I'm bleeding.
00:51:38I mean, I guess I just have like a certain level of visibility so they're like jealous or something.
00:51:42I don't know but like there's a lot of like sick twisted feelings I get out of it and it
00:51:46just makes me like feel like humanity in general is kind of evil and that like every single entity on
00:51:52this planet is just like self-interested and that friendship is an illusion and that love is an illusion and
00:51:58that like I'm just incredibly fucking alone.
00:52:00And I'm just like a fucking alien on this planet.
00:52:05It just feels easier to like damage a social connection than it does to grow it.
00:52:09But yeah, I'll get through tonight, definitely.
00:52:16Alright, bye.
00:52:25Well, that was okay, I guess.
00:52:36Why weren't you all watching when I broke the Breath of the Wild record?
00:52:41I could have really used your support.
00:52:49I think I'm an attention addict.
00:52:57I think I'm an attention addict.
00:53:03I think I'm an attention addict.
00:53:05I'm an attention addict.
00:53:27I've been watching the video.
00:53:52Oh my god.
00:53:57If you did it live on stream, I don't know, I just hope she's going to be okay.
00:54:09Hello?
00:54:11Hey.
00:54:12What do you feel?
00:54:14I like ruined myself by cutting my hair off.
00:54:18You didn't ruin yourself, you just fucking cut your hair off.
00:54:25I don't know how to just be calm and quiet during the hard moments,
00:54:30because I feel like I really, really want and need connection.
00:54:37I feel like crying, because I'm, like, grateful that you're talking to me right now.
00:54:46Happy cries are good cries.
00:54:52Can I ask you something?
00:54:54When would you be free if I was too calm?
00:54:58Whenever.
00:54:58Whenever.
00:55:14We did it.
00:55:16It's like we're parting the birds.
00:55:17Yeah.
00:55:27I like this big opening, right?
00:55:29Let's just, like, move in here.
00:55:32This is the ocean.
00:55:38How is all this even real?
00:55:40What is reality?
00:55:42I see all this and I'm like, I'm alive.
00:55:44Like, this is a thing.
00:55:45It's happening.
00:55:46Yeah.
00:55:48I can't help myself.
00:55:49This is happening as fuck.
00:55:49Yeah.
00:55:57Do you think your life is too filled with things?
00:56:00You have your band, so then you're streaming.
00:56:02Yeah.
00:56:03And you're cooking.
00:56:05I mean, that's just kind of the thing I like to do.
00:56:06Yeah.
00:56:07That's why I like having people around, because I can cook for them.
00:56:13Try to change your perspective so that you see the sky as, like, a giant lake.
00:56:18Okay.
00:56:19And you're, like, you're above it looking down at it.
00:56:28Do you ever want to go to outer space?
00:56:30For some reason, I feel like the view is better down here.
00:56:33Earth is beautiful, I think, from here and elsewhere.
00:56:50You're not going to go to outer space.
00:56:54It's like a certain that I've seen the sky as well.
00:56:55I can't do that again.
00:57:00I'm so loving you.
00:57:04I'm so loving you.
00:57:05Cooling, claiming like a bully with a bite.
00:57:11Skin to stone, crack the bone, guilty and polite.
00:57:17It'll hold you down the throat and screw, then I'll be seeing your lips for blue
00:57:22It'll hold you down the skin from far, the testimony's out of you
00:57:27It's got you by the fifth element, it's got you by the tone of it
00:57:47It's got you by the fifth element, it's got you by the fifth element
00:58:07Thank you. We're man-eaters.
00:58:17I started fucking crying because you're so inspirational
00:58:21You look fucking beautiful. Just shut up and hug me
00:58:47Are you saying you move with your center of valence in general, or like?
00:58:50No, just when we're doing this
00:58:53But why?
00:58:55I don't care
00:58:56Wait, let's try again
00:58:59Alright
00:59:01Wait, set, left, set
00:59:04There we go, yeah, there we go
00:59:15Ah, this is really cool
00:59:16This reminds me of Coventry Cove from Beetle Adventure Racing
00:59:19Well, that's your...
00:59:21That's your proper zone
00:59:22This is my...
00:59:23This is my realm, right here
00:59:25I always just book it when I'm on the trail
00:59:28Kinda hard to get your hands when I'm behind you and the path is so thin
00:59:40I feel sick, oh fuck
00:59:42Wanna sit on this?
00:59:44I guess so
00:59:56I wish I got more sleep
00:59:58I don't have a pillow on me, but I've got a bag full of shit
01:00:01It should work
01:00:02I feel bad
01:00:02I don't like the time
01:00:04I think I'm ready to go
01:00:09See what I'm doing
01:00:11Oh
01:00:21There we go, it wasn't so bad
01:00:50Oh
01:00:50I might puke
01:00:52Try to lunge it over the edge
01:00:59Oh, I am really feeling queasy
01:01:05Fuck
01:01:06Such bad timing
01:01:08Yeah
01:01:10Ugh
01:01:11Okay
01:01:59All in all, I'm doing better now than I was before the trip
01:02:08The time I spent there
01:02:09Felt like it kinda healed me somewhat
01:02:12Like I really needed that
01:02:19Being able to share some affection
01:02:21And like
01:02:27Just be around people, I guess
01:02:28Without
01:02:30Being so isolated
01:02:34Just felt
01:02:35Just felt
01:02:38Really good
01:02:46I don't know, it's like
01:02:48A breath of
01:02:49A breath of
01:02:50What is it?
01:02:51A breath
01:02:53Of fresh air
01:03:08I was little and she
01:03:10She used to help me play Soda
01:03:12When I was like
01:03:13I don't know
01:03:13Six, seven years old
01:03:15And that's a really fun
01:03:17To crop
01:03:17Okay, I just wanted to crop like one pixel in
01:03:44I had enough
01:03:44I had enough
01:03:44Do Ihang or pie
01:03:44Do Iишь
01:04:00I got banned on purpose because it wasn't making me happy and maybe that's
01:04:08because my brain got hooked on the dopamine so now my twitch account is
01:04:28gone it might be nice to receive some kind of unconditional love seeing my
01:04:52parents
01:04:53this is not a healthy environment for me to be in therefore I must leave this place
01:05:02but do not grieve for my disappearance
01:05:11for I will find what I'm looking for in this life
01:05:17I will just do it alone
01:05:24it's like level one where you grew up green fields grass trees
01:05:39you're my most beautiful flower
01:05:42you are the best of your generation brilliant talented sweet honest
01:06:02you were special different from other children
01:06:08that is why I quit my job became a stay-at-home mother
01:06:14I couldn't possibly trust anyone else to give you the love attention and freedom that your mind needed to explore
01:06:22life
01:06:22bye-bye
01:06:23you
01:06:24you
01:07:03Oh, how are you?
01:07:07Oh, how was your flight?
01:07:10It was fine.
01:07:11Oh, baby.
01:07:16I'm sorry it's been so long.
01:07:20Oh, oh.
01:07:24Oh, it feels so good to hug you.
01:07:27I mean, look at you.
01:07:30It's just beautiful.
01:07:32I've been waiting for that moment for a long time.
01:07:34Yeah.
01:07:36Oh, you've been wonderful.
01:08:19Oh, you've been wonderful.
01:08:52Oh, you've been wonderful.
01:08:52Oh, you've been wonderful.
01:10:23But Margaret, I'm sorry, I have no excuse.
01:10:28You deserve so much more than this world would afford you.
01:10:33Bed in your belly like a panic attack.
01:10:38It's you, you see, I'll leave it for you, Margaret.
01:10:44I'm sorry, you must understand.
01:11:04I'm sorry, I'll leave it for you.
01:11:44I'm sorry, I'll leave it for you.
01:11:47I'm sorry, I'll leave it for you.
01:12:17I'm sorry, I'll leave it for you.
01:12:18But Katarine, honey, it's not fair.
01:12:26And up there when you can't decide if it is worth it at all.
01:12:36When everything hounds you, I'll be right back.
01:12:41To carry you home to carry you home to forget about all that you told me last night.
01:12:48And those of you, I'll be right back.
01:12:53And those of you, I'll be right back.
01:13:08And those of you, I'll be right back.
01:13:38And those of you, I'll be right back.
01:13:43And those of you, I'll be right back.
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