- 7 hours ago
The Worst Film Festival Ever [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
Category
đ„
Short filmTranscript
00:00:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:40CastingWords
00:01:28CastingWords
00:01:36CastingWords
00:01:38CastingWords
00:01:38CastingWords
00:01:43CastingWords
00:01:44CastingWords
00:01:49CastingWords
00:01:55CastingWords
00:01:58CastingWords
00:01:59the transition from drugs to moviemaking has been glorious for us.
00:02:04The problem with Tug Speedman movies are his endings.
00:02:06Well, it's not just the endings.
00:02:08We even got shortchanged on the nudity.
00:02:11Esme Presley used a body double.
00:02:15I just had a thought.
00:02:17What do you think if I asked you to present the awards?
00:02:19Oh, Gabriel, let me stop you there.
00:02:21I'm not presenting these awards.
00:02:23Well, that would be a mistake.
00:02:25A missed opportunity for you, Will the Farmer.
00:02:29With some brand.
00:02:31Gabriel, your little festival, it's a low-rent nightmare.
00:02:34Whatever bullshit you've done to get this accredited by the Academy, it's a win here.
00:02:38Honestly, I don't want to be part of it when it all goes tits up.
00:02:41It's all showbiz, Will.
00:02:43And you are one of the greats.
00:02:45This is an opportunity that should be grabbed with both hands.
00:02:47Gabriel, please, please don't bullshit me.
00:02:50Put on a show, Will.
00:02:53Razzle dazzle and it will be you that they'll remember.
00:02:56I don't want to present an award to a shit Tarantino wannabe, Tug Speedman.
00:03:01Truth is stranger than fiction, Will.
00:03:03Look, why don't you stay, listen to the key speaker talk and then see how you feel.
00:03:10Do you know what?
00:03:11I don't feel well, Gabriel.
00:03:14That was funny, innit?
00:03:15If you've got a tractor, you're a farmer.
00:03:17If you don't, you're just a gardener.
00:03:19Do you know what?
00:03:20I am not sitting here listening to that.
00:03:25Gabriel?
00:03:27Are you all right?
00:03:28Oh!
00:03:30Hello?
00:03:32Hello?
00:03:44I love you.
00:04:03Hello.
00:04:10Hello, Giggles.
00:04:11Didn't know we were going to be a threesome tonight.
00:04:13What's the point in having a phone if you don't read your messages?
00:04:17Oh, shit. Sorry. No, I've been avoiding my dad all day, so...
00:04:21Phone.
00:04:23I'm breaking up with you.
00:04:26Okay.
00:04:27It's not you. It's your dad.
00:04:31Eh?
00:04:32Not in that way. Just the way he controls everything you do.
00:04:39I'm waiting for the punchline here, but I'm sensing it's not coming.
00:04:44Look, my dad is just my dad. Like, I'm my own boss.
00:04:52Okay, but that is five unread messages.
00:04:54Which I'm not gonna read.
00:04:57I'm with Giggles.
00:04:59Caroline...
00:05:01I thought we were gonna make a movie together.
00:05:04I think we're both done with that.
00:05:06You know, you know what? I think I'm just gonna...
00:05:25Oh, God. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:05:27Oh, God.
00:05:55Dad! Where have you been? He's having a heart attack!
00:05:59Will the farmer!
00:06:01And a cow jumped over the moon.
00:06:03No, Dad!
00:06:04Gabriel, everything's going to be okay. Alan's here now.
00:06:08Listen to me, son.
00:06:11Do you want to make it in this business or fold shirts at the Chinese laundromat?
00:06:15Pledge.
00:06:16Um, how sure are we that this was a heart attack?
00:06:20Shit, no, the film festival.
00:06:22The film festival goes ahead.
00:06:26You're in charge.
00:06:27Gabriel, talk about this at the hospital. Where is this ambulance?
00:06:30Ambulance is on the way.
00:06:32No, Dad, Dad, cancel the film festival.
00:06:34Alan, I am not willing to donate a kidney,
00:06:38but I am willing to watch you die slowly if you're looking for that kind of thing.
00:06:42Huh.
00:06:45Any idea what you're going to do?
00:06:47No, no, Will, I don't.
00:06:49Well, good luck with everything.
00:06:51Will the farmer to present best picture?
00:06:52Yeah.
00:06:55Yeah.
00:07:04Yeah.
00:07:14God bless you.
00:07:23I'm going to...
00:07:26home.
00:07:27Bye.
00:07:30And,
00:07:35specifically,
00:07:35by housing and seeing the wires at the Eagle,
00:07:35It's going to lose.
00:07:37I guess I know someday I'm going to have to choose.
00:07:41Because I don't want to hide away.
00:07:45Yeah.
00:07:47Somebody I'm not.
00:07:50I don't want to be somebody I'm not.
00:07:54Standing in the shoes of someone I'm not.
00:07:58Because I don't want to be somebody I'm not.
00:08:04Standing in the line.
00:08:07I never know when it's going to be my time.
00:08:11I got some marching time.
00:08:13I really want to shine.
00:08:15Because I don't want to hide away.
00:08:21Somebody I'm not.
00:08:24I don't want to be somebody I'm not.
00:08:28Standing in the shoes of someone I'm not.
00:08:32Because I don't want to be somebody I'm not.
00:08:39So it goes.
00:08:42Seems like I'm running blind.
00:08:48But oh, you know.
00:08:52It's like I'm stuck in time.
00:09:18I don't want to be somebody I'm not.
00:09:23Standing in the shoes of somebody I'm not.
00:09:27I don't want to be somebody I'm not.
00:09:53Scottish coffee it says.
00:09:54Perfect word.
00:09:56I'm going to use it in a sentence.
00:09:58I just did.
00:10:05Where are all these Scottish fruits have been sold about?
00:10:10You're going to cop a flower pot if you don't move them trotters.
00:10:14I don't want to be somebody I don't want to be.
00:10:16I don't want to be.
00:10:16I don't want to be.
00:10:16At her butt.
00:10:17Oh.
00:10:18My.
00:10:18God.
00:10:25Are you sure?
00:10:28Of course.
00:10:29She's got no reason to lie to her.
00:10:31Can we go home then?
00:10:33Alan's sorting it out.
00:10:35That can't be good.
00:10:42Come on.
00:10:53How's it going?
00:10:55A few technical issues but then again it's an old laptop so I probably need some replacing.
00:10:59She means your dad Alan.
00:11:02Oh God.
00:11:03Yeah.
00:11:04Better.
00:11:05I think.
00:11:06He left me a three page text message this morning that he signed off with and don't mess this up.
00:11:12So safe to say he's better the farm on this festival.
00:11:16That'll be fine.
00:11:19See?
00:11:19He's working.
00:11:21And gone again.
00:11:27He's fucked.
00:11:30He's fucked.
00:11:33Will!
00:11:35Gabriel's on the mend.
00:11:36That's good.
00:11:37Will, I still need a key speaker.
00:11:39Please check out time for me.
00:11:40No, Will, please.
00:11:41I'll give you anything, okay?
00:11:42I have a kidney you can have.
00:11:44It's barely been used.
00:11:45When you get chased by a pack of taxidermists, don't play dead.
00:12:07It's fine, we'll just grab a taxi.
00:12:11Did you not order car service?
00:12:13Oh, I'm sorry.
00:12:14I'll just bung it on my credit card, shall I?
00:12:17There's no budget for this trip.
00:12:21No.
00:12:22Seriously.
00:12:31Good news or bad?
00:12:32My father would say this is a challenge.
00:12:35So bad then?
00:12:36Yeah, it's not good.
00:12:37One of my key speakers has pulled out.
00:12:38He's got the flu.
00:12:39One of the criteria for qualifying for an Academy Award is you must provide at least two key speakers to
00:12:46tell you movies are good.
00:12:49Alright, okay, it's fine. Just breathe.
00:12:54That's it.
00:12:55We're not the first guy to have a panic attack on us.
00:12:57Look, if my dad doesn't kill me, Tug Speedman will.
00:13:00Gods was a good movie. The ending wasn't much, though.
00:13:03No, his father is paying for the festival.
00:13:06You know this isn't your fault, right?
00:13:08Yes, but my dad can make it my fault.
00:13:11Right, first things last, what's a key speaker?
00:13:14Oh, I don't know.
00:13:15It's got to be an actor or a celebrity. Someone who can talk about their experience making movies with the
00:13:20other filmmakers.
00:13:27Rachel.
00:13:28Oh shit, yeah, Rachel Warren.
00:13:30Who is Rachel Warren?
00:13:35She did that stupid werewolf movie with Jess.
00:13:38It's in the festival.
00:13:40Can you get her?
00:13:41Yeah, I know I will.
00:13:42She'd love to come and be our celebrity.
00:13:49You have no idea where we're going.
00:13:51Yes, I do.
00:13:59It's this way. Come on.
00:14:02We made a movie about Chinese families in the 18th century.
00:14:06Stories about mothers and daughters.
00:14:11This country makes no sense.
00:14:20You can't marry this day.
00:14:23You don't know anything.
00:14:26I hate you!
00:14:31An one.
00:14:47Hey!
00:14:49Remember what we spoke about?
00:14:51Yeah, yeah, Dad. No day joking.
00:14:55Hi, we're Ashraf and...
00:14:58Millie.
00:15:00I thought we was going home with Millicent.
00:15:02We made Milicious Incent.
00:15:10Do I think we can win?
00:15:12Fuck yeah.
00:15:13Right, babe?
00:15:14Well, forget winning.
00:15:16I mean, I'm just here for the fit guys
00:15:18with their sexy Scottish brogue.
00:15:21I mean, I haven't met any just yet,
00:15:23but I did spot this guy.
00:15:24He looked a little bit like Chris Hemsworth on the plane.
00:15:26You know, the guy from Thor.
00:15:28I mean, given the chance, I didn't.
00:15:29I was Thor.
00:15:32You do know I'm not one of your pals, don't you?
00:15:35You know I can't just unhear this stuff.
00:15:38I will.
00:15:41I'm not really hungry.
00:15:44Nominations for Best Actress are...
00:15:47Fran Whittaker for Hey, Mr. DJ.
00:16:00I can explain.
00:16:01I want you to leave.
00:16:04Out of my house.
00:16:13What's black pudding?
00:16:15It's pork of beef blood mixed with oatmeal and fried.
00:16:18Are we in the same country?
00:16:21No.
00:16:21We're in Scotland.
00:16:24Esme Presley, poor gods of Shoreditch.
00:16:26Your sword skills do you a disservice, sir.
00:16:28The seal calls to you, but it is lying.
00:16:33That may be so.
00:16:35The seal is our portal to the future.
00:16:38It is the devil's work.
00:16:40Then the devil does fine work.
00:16:42How are the nominations?
00:16:43Oh yeah, it's in the back.
00:16:58Hi guys.
00:17:00We're the Kidnap Gang and we do kidnap pranks.
00:17:03This is my partner Darren.
00:17:05Hello, hello.
00:17:07Now, obviously we've entered two films into the festivals, which doubles our chances of winning
00:17:12something.
00:17:14But look, I've got to warn you, when we're a bat, there's always some fuckery afoot.
00:17:19Idiots.
00:17:20Both my dad and my uncle.
00:17:22Well, Gabriel, the guy who runs the festival, he invited us along.
00:17:25He thought we'd be some good entertainment.
00:17:42Joking, we got her.
00:17:43You didn't.
00:17:44She said she'll do it.
00:17:45Thanks a little, madam.
00:17:46Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
00:17:49Sorry, I'm not really a hugger, but you know what I mean.
00:17:51She said she'd like working with me and the movie's nominated in the festival.
00:17:55You'll cover travel and bar bill.
00:17:57Yeah, bar bill.
00:17:58Yeah, but don't worry about that now.
00:18:00You have a speaker.
00:18:02Hey, is this an exclusive party or can anybody join in?
00:18:05Doug, you're here.
00:18:07Alert the paparazzi.
00:18:09That's good, that's good things, dude.
00:18:10No, seriously.
00:18:11Alert the paparazzi.
00:18:12Your dad has press at the awards.
00:18:16How are you?
00:18:17Jade.
00:18:18And what movie are you with?
00:18:19Sex.
00:18:20Hmm.
00:18:22Well, your film sounds interesting and equally your name.
00:18:26Both subjects I'd love to learn more about.
00:18:30Tug Speedman.
00:18:32Actor, writer, filmmaker.
00:18:35Triple thread.
00:18:36Tug, have you checked in yet?
00:18:38It's actually just this way.
00:18:39I'll just show you where it is.
00:18:40I want that review.
00:18:49Listen, man.
00:18:51I didn't want to say anything in there.
00:18:53I didn't want to embarrass you.
00:18:55There was no one there to meet us at the airport.
00:18:57Oh, I didn't know we were...
00:19:00You know what?
00:19:01Technical issues.
00:19:03Get it together, man.
00:19:05You do realise what a big deal this is.
00:19:07To have me and my movie playing exclusively at your festival.
00:19:12Of course.
00:19:14I thought I played in Ireland.
00:19:17That wasn't a film festival.
00:19:19That was a tent with a projector.
00:19:21Right.
00:19:22No, this...
00:19:24This is the one we've been waiting for.
00:19:27Academy qualifying.
00:19:29You do realise this is going to be huge for my movie.
00:19:32And for your festival.
00:19:36Yes, I'll get it together.
00:19:44We're in room 175.
00:19:47Esme Presley.
00:19:49That's my name.
00:19:50Don't wear it out.
00:19:55Don't mess this up.
00:19:57Right.
00:20:01Please let me help you with your bag.
00:20:03I'd be much obliged.
00:20:05He likes people to think I'm his assistant.
00:20:07Yeah, he's certainly a character with a small C.
00:20:11No, he's definitely something with a small C.
00:20:22We're going to need to separate these.
00:20:25Oh, like a twin room?
00:20:28Don't get me started.
00:20:30Tud likes his space to sleep.
00:20:32Proper diva.
00:20:36You can put that down.
00:20:38Oh, God.
00:20:39Yeah, sorry.
00:20:41Is there a turndown service or do I tip?
00:20:45Oh, no, no.
00:20:45I'm just helping.
00:20:48Just a thanks, then.
00:20:51Instant coffee.
00:20:52I liked your movie.
00:20:55Well, no, I liked your role in it.
00:21:00It's okay.
00:21:01You can say it's crap.
00:21:02It is.
00:21:02No, no, it's not crap.
00:21:03It's just, uh, it's unusual.
00:21:06It's time-traveling gangsters, so.
00:21:09But it's up for best picture, and it's probably going to get the Oscar qualifying spot, so what do I
00:21:13know?
00:21:14Alan.
00:21:15That's your name, right?
00:21:16The festival director's son.
00:21:19Tug Speedman's a hack.
00:21:20And worse, a hack with a father with money.
00:21:23The writer's inspiration for Gods of Shoreditch was a story with strong female characters who brought about the end of
00:21:29the world of men.
00:21:31Instead, Tug turned a brilliant script into a wannabe gangster action movie.
00:21:36With so much nudity, it could have been set in ancient Rome.
00:21:40Oh, I mean, I thought that it was...
00:21:42Sorry, darling.
00:21:42Body doubles for those scenes.
00:21:44Oh, no, no, I wasn't being weird.
00:21:46I was just...
00:21:46Alan, it's fine.
00:21:47I limit who sees me naked, including Tug.
00:21:52Oh, you thought...
00:21:54Alan, no.
00:21:55Hasn't been like that for a very long time.
00:21:58Tug, I imagine, is currently down in the bar, flirting with any tart, unlucky enough to be with an earshot.
00:22:10I know his father paid for the movie to win, and I'm fine with it.
00:22:14Oh.
00:22:16Alan.
00:22:17Um, yes.
00:22:20Do you want a coffee?
00:22:26That's my dad.
00:22:27Um, I should.
00:22:28I didn't see him, Lance.
00:22:29Is that something okay?
00:22:32Complicated, but...
00:22:34Yeah.
00:23:01Hello, my dad.
00:23:03You all right?
00:23:04Um, yeah, all good.
00:23:06Um, the abduce kit is here.
00:23:08Okay.
00:23:14Yes, we made a movie called Sex.
00:23:27At first, there was nothing.
00:23:31Then, there was woman.
00:23:45So, with the role of the woman is the sole provider, the one giving the pain is the only one
00:23:50that can take it away.
00:23:50My role is to assistive clients, but I'm also an actress.
00:23:55Oh, not again with that stupid werewolf movie with Rachel.
00:24:00Rachel was amazing to work with.
00:24:03And you two.
00:24:04Yeah.
00:24:05And you two.
00:24:05But both equally.
00:24:07Yeah, of course.
00:24:08Do you know what?
00:24:09Whatever, I don't care.
00:24:10Anyway.
00:24:10Can somebody take this off, please?
00:24:24You have 12 finalists in your festival this year?
00:24:28Uh, yes.
00:24:29They are the final 12.
00:24:31The opening ceremony is tonight, and there will be a party.
00:24:36Not quite a party person.
00:24:39Hmm.
00:24:41Each film has been individually assessed and announced within the required time period?
00:24:46Yes.
00:24:47Uh, no formal queries from the other candidates.
00:24:50Uh, and my father has done all of the, uh, assessments.
00:24:54Your father?
00:24:56Yes.
00:24:57Spoke to him many times.
00:24:59On the phone.
00:25:01Never met.
00:25:02Where is he?
00:25:05Currently sorting out, um, something or other.
00:25:08You know what these crazy filmmakers are like.
00:25:13No!
00:25:21I'm absolutely mortified.
00:25:23I didn't mind, really.
00:25:25It was kind of fun.
00:25:26A bunch of kids, them too, honestly.
00:25:35Very amusing.
00:25:38My preference is to sit near the back and on the aisle for each showing.
00:25:45Yes, we can accommodate that.
00:25:47Your father is the signatory for the festival.
00:25:51Have him speak to me at his earliest convenience.
00:25:54Of course.
00:25:55No, no problem.
00:25:57Would you excuse me?
00:25:58I need to go and sort out a thing.
00:26:02I need to go and sort out a thing.
00:26:27I need to go and sort out a thing.
00:26:38Good morning to you.
00:26:40What are you doing?
00:26:42No.
00:26:43I need an actress.
00:26:44Yes, I am.
00:26:46Well, no, no, no, no.
00:26:48You've certainly got the look.
00:26:50As if.
00:26:51He's like some old guy.
00:26:54you play your cards right i might just let you audition for me sometime so obviously networking
00:27:01is the best part of these events before tug realizes i'm a tease this next movie will
00:27:07already be out starring me i thought you might be hungry thank you but the breakfasts are meant to
00:27:17be for the film contestants but yeah they're not gonna miss it are they
00:27:22the adjudicated by your story jade ah how is your father doing still in the hospital and i think
00:27:31i think hug speedman might just kill me when he finds out so have you i always wanted to be
00:27:37an
00:27:37actress then come on move along romeo there's a cue here i'll talk to you later
00:27:47you seem to be doing okay so far just a few more days
00:27:50tug will be happy once he gets his coveted academy place do you like working with him
00:27:55you don't work with tug you experience the carnage he leaves in his wake
00:28:00you get used to the crazy after a few years yeah i was going to pitch my film to him
00:28:04the good particle yeah i optioned the third book but i tell you what an award-nominated actress would
00:28:10look great on the cast list this is a shit business alan you can do your best performance
00:28:15then some hack director fumbles the ball in the edit hey no your character joe marsh
00:28:20and gods of shortage was amazing tets and ass don't make a movie at least my body double had a
00:28:25good
00:28:25bum
00:28:30the god particle is a black ops super soldier who seeks vengeance after they have been betrayed on a
00:28:38mission gone terribly wrong good pitch yeah but without esme presley in it it's just another silly
00:28:44spy adventure actually can you just give me a full second please
00:28:53alan my man how are we right we all set for my screening yes of course um emmets yes yes
00:29:00no it's
00:29:01only because i heard there was some like technical issues who told you that no never mind uh no everything's
00:29:06fine we're good to go perfect so yeah we made a horror movie yes i play a maid don't you
00:29:12play a maid in
00:29:13jade's movie too typecasting is a good thing do you actually watch the movies have you seen mine
00:29:18it's got rachel on it uh no my dad watches the films it's more his thing oh hi hey um
00:29:24the breakfasts
00:29:25are actually just for the film candidates so uh i appreciate it yeah yeah no so that that that means
00:29:34sorry but what if i was a phone contestant
00:29:39okay okay look if you want to go like just like wait in the lobby and wait till they're all
00:29:44gone i'll
00:29:44come give you a shout and how'd they print the application form from the library that was a
00:29:48nightmare while i think so like sorry i ain't taking a blame for that yeah hang on you've made a
00:29:54movie
00:29:55sure just like all the cats up in this geth it's a personal story a flick about loving on the
00:30:00streets
00:30:01mike in your face that's that's actually really impressive i'm not sure how you do
00:30:08check it shot on the phone edited at a library the equipment was 90s but it's all good
00:30:15uh well that that is all good but um the applications closed uh two months ago now so
00:30:22understands completely but listen here i ain't interested in what you're selling for me this is
00:30:28a golden opportunity of honest food and a bed for the night please i i really don't know how else
00:30:35to
00:30:35say this but all of the final films have been announced we can't add this that's how it is
00:30:44sorry what's your name mike iron mike wow intimidating name it's cause we're embedding down i have like
00:30:51three iron baths tied together so iron mike makes perfect sense listen alan's gonna take your application
00:30:59because he's good at problem solving and he very much wants to impress me
00:31:04i was thinking what was that simple you did a very kind thing for a homeless man and it did
00:31:10impress me
00:31:10okay yeah that is very nice but all the films have already been announced esme
00:31:14i don't think he cares morning oh i mean morning your father down for breakfast uh you know he was
00:31:25but
00:31:25he's an early riser so you know how it is we're just going to meet him now the signatory is
00:31:30a very
00:31:31important part of the process of course i played lord harrington of mortar
00:31:47beast must die
00:31:52whatever you think's best
00:31:58i'm now unarmed
00:32:02to prevent you from doing your duty
00:32:06maybe she should kill us both
00:32:10you've been bitten mistress
00:32:15the wolf
00:32:20courses through my veins
00:32:23run
00:32:27so yeah it's a movie with a werewolf in it
00:32:31his sister hates that we're together
00:32:34in the movie
00:32:36look i spent a lot of time and energy into this ending and trust me once people see what we've
00:32:43done here
00:32:45it's best film winners might
00:32:47ours
00:32:49and everyone that was in the movie
00:32:53uh
00:33:06that was
00:33:12so
00:33:13it's
00:33:13it's
00:33:18it's
00:33:19it's
00:33:19it's
00:33:20it's
00:33:21it's
00:33:22it's
00:33:30I'm sorry for frightening you, Lady Harrington.
00:33:38Callum, go back to the house.
00:33:41Elizabeth.
00:33:45Now.
00:34:09No, no, not now.
00:34:12Everyone, look into the...
00:34:19God damn it!
00:34:21No one saw the ending.
00:34:37It was just an outer shit show.
00:34:41I was pretty awesome as the maid.
00:34:53Are you okay?
00:35:05Are you fucking kidding me?!
00:35:08Did you just leave and come back so you could do that?
00:35:11Take some water.
00:35:12Fuck water!
00:35:14I want some fucking cocaine!
00:35:17Oh fuck.
00:35:19Just call my fucking sponsor.
00:35:23You.
00:35:25Is your pathetic father gonna make it or not?
00:35:28Tell me.
00:35:29I don't know but I'm obviously hoping.
00:35:32It's not his fault.
00:35:36Of course you knew!
00:35:38Everybody knows except poor old Tug!
00:35:41It wasn't like that.
00:35:43Look, as long as the adjudicator doesn't find out, we're fine.
00:35:46We're fine.
00:35:49We're fine.
00:35:50Yeah, we're fine.
00:35:51Until he visits your poor little Siebel dad on his fucking deathbed!
00:35:56Tug, his father's still alive.
00:35:58Take that back.
00:35:59I'll tell you one thing, boyo.
00:36:01He's not gonna be alive when my dad gets his hands on him.
00:36:04Or if you make this go catch up!
00:36:11You.
00:36:13I'm going to the bar.
00:36:15Fuck my sponsor.
00:36:36Really?
00:36:38I thought you had to call your sponsor.
00:36:42You didn't drink it.
00:36:44Well, you thought about it.
00:36:46And you promised.
00:36:49Go away, Esme.
00:36:51I'm not cleaning up after you again.
00:36:55Well, do you know what, Mum?
00:36:57Do you know what I'm gonna get you for Christmas?
00:36:59A nice big wooden cross.
00:37:02So next time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices,
00:37:07you can climb on up there and nail yourself to it.
00:37:22Look, it's...
00:37:26I love you.
00:37:27I love you.
00:37:29I love you too.
00:37:34Yes, the movie did well.
00:37:36We are very proud.
00:37:39I want to tell you,
00:37:40I want to tell you.
00:37:42I want to tell you.
00:37:43I want to tell you,
00:37:43I want to tell you.
00:37:46The adjudicator, of course,
00:37:48he picks the winner.
00:37:50You are the best, right?
00:37:52Yes, you are the best.
00:37:53That is not correct.
00:37:55He's just an official.
00:37:56Gabriel chose the winner.
00:37:58I know Alan,
00:37:59and I hope we have made a big impression on him
00:38:02and his father Gabriel.
00:38:03We do rap movie next.
00:38:07We do rap movie next.
00:38:25There was a lot of nudity in Gods.
00:38:29Yes, well, nudity was very important in our story of Gods of Shoreditch.
00:38:35But, eh,
00:38:36some were more comfortable than others.
00:38:39I think sometimes nudity is considered controversial in some cultures
00:38:44because it challenges the standards of modesty.
00:38:48Yes, exactly.
00:38:50Nudity, it's a state of mind.
00:38:52I'll happily wander around the house all day with no clothes on,
00:38:56just let it all hang out.
00:38:58Feel that breeze.
00:39:00It's quite liberating.
00:39:03Would I be shallow if I said size doesn't matter?
00:39:11It's perfectly adequate.
00:39:18Is it true that it's all a force?
00:39:21I don't really know.
00:39:23Well, you seem very close with Alan.
00:39:26He must have told you something.
00:39:28This is starting to feel like an intervention.
00:39:30Or maybe an interrogation.
00:39:32It's because everyone is hiding something.
00:39:36Esme, we're just curious.
00:39:38This festival is really important to us.
00:39:41We have vested interest.
00:39:45Look, I don't want to speak out of turn,
00:39:47and I understand that you guys are anxious,
00:39:50but really you have to speak to Alan about this.
00:39:52Oh, we will.
00:39:53Don't you worry about that.
00:39:58The mountain has arrived.
00:40:01You know we all know that you're here.
00:40:04Can you help with this, please?
00:40:05They know, Alan.
00:40:06You might as well just tell them the truth.
00:40:08The truth will set you free.
00:40:10Okay.
00:40:11I've spoken to my dad in the hospital.
00:40:13He is getting better.
00:40:14It is a question of whether he can do the sign-off though.
00:40:18No, he can't.
00:40:19Not while he's in hospital.
00:40:20What's the sign-off?
00:40:22The festival director has to sign off on the adjudicator's paperwork.
00:40:26Can't Alan do that?
00:40:28Are you the festival director, Alan?
00:40:30No, I'm...
00:40:31Yeah, not the festival director then.
00:40:34What's that smell?
00:40:37Listen, monkey boy.
00:40:40I swear to God and the Sonny Jesus,
00:40:42if you don't find a solution,
00:40:44I'm gonna drop kick your head.
00:40:46And I've done seven days.
00:40:48Intensive stage combat.
00:40:50You...
00:40:51You watch yourself.
00:41:03Forget the gold particle this is producing.
00:41:06Oh, yeah.
00:41:06Just without the money or the credit.
00:41:09You'll cut out for greater things.
00:41:11Yeah, well, you clearly haven't met my dad.
00:41:13He's gonna kill my movie.
00:41:16Still living in his shadow, just like Tug.
00:41:18He'd own himself to be true.
00:41:20Yeah, well, that's really easy for you to say.
00:41:22You're an award-winning actress
00:41:22with a string of movie titles behind you and I'm just...
00:41:25And you're currently a festival director.
00:41:29Ah, yeah, I see.
00:41:30Trying to sway influence with the festival director
00:41:32to try and win an award.
00:41:33It's not gonna work.
00:41:35Oh, my.
00:41:35What's a girl got to do?
00:41:39Mate, borrow your shaver?
00:41:42Yeah, sure.
00:41:43Whatever you need.
00:41:44Keep that towel on and I'll cut your hair.
00:41:48Hotel cleaning service?
00:41:49For sure.
00:41:51Mike, can we grab a look at your movie?
00:41:54Sure.
00:41:55It's your funeral.
00:42:04Well, this is it.
00:42:06This is where Iron Mike is staying tonight.
00:42:10Because, uh, I did have three iron bath tubs.
00:42:13They were all tied together.
00:42:15And it was really, really, really good.
00:42:17Always get a wee check on the buns
00:42:19because you just don't know what's on these buns.
00:42:22Mike, this is good.
00:42:26And phone boxes.
00:42:29Always keep your eye out for them.
00:42:30A lot of people miss them.
00:42:31It's really good.
00:42:35It's really good.
00:42:56It's really good.
00:43:00It's really good.
00:43:04It's really good.
00:43:08It's really good.
00:43:12I don't know.
00:43:12You, uh...
00:43:14You calm down, you...
00:43:17Can I sit?
00:43:18Help yourself, you usually do.
00:43:21I wake up this morning and you're gone.
00:43:23Didn't think you'd notice they're intensely snoring.
00:43:28I'm at a loss here, Esme.
00:43:30What's going on?
00:43:33Do you remember the little talk me and you had?
00:43:35I support you, you support me.
00:43:39That's all I ever do, is support you.
00:43:42Yeah, well, you've been missing an action all weekend.
00:43:46I've been here all this time.
00:43:48The question is, where have you been?
00:43:51Clever.
00:43:52How's that working out for you?
00:43:56That's the thing about relationships.
00:43:59They give you reason to live.
00:44:02Revenge.
00:44:04Hey, hey, do you remember this?
00:44:07I've heard there was a secret chord.
00:44:10No.
00:44:10That David played, it pleased the Lord.
00:44:14But you don't really care for movies, do you?
00:44:19It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth.
00:44:23Sit down.
00:44:24The major falls, the minor lifts.
00:44:28The baffling, composing, hallelujah.
00:44:34No?
00:44:36Those old cheap moves aren't going to work on me anymore.
00:44:39I've got plenty of new cheap moves for you.
00:44:41How are you going to face all these people when they find out you paid for the award?
00:44:45The question is, babe, do you feel paid for?
00:45:01Esme!
00:45:02Esme!
00:45:06That's bad, Gigi, mate.
00:45:07You need to let her take a moment.
00:45:08But she's upset.
00:45:11Having your bridges burned is never going to be easy.
00:45:13But she's strong.
00:45:27I think he's better from an older person.
00:45:31But this is your fault, Jess.
00:45:33You were in a fucking movie.
00:45:35She was very giving as an actress.
00:45:38Okay, can one of you please just tell me what's going on?
00:45:42Rachel can't do it.
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45We forgot Jade posted on Rachel's socials that she was so bitchy she's probably playing the werewolf.
00:45:51Why?
00:45:52Because it was my role!
00:45:54Oh!
00:46:00Wow.
00:46:02What a transformation.
00:46:04Hey, got myself some new threads.
00:46:09It's going to be a long night.
00:46:24I mean, this is getting ridiculous.
00:46:29Sorry.
00:46:30Caroline!
00:46:31Hi!
00:46:32Um...
00:46:33Hey, Alan.
00:46:35Can I be the most beautiful girl in the world?
00:46:39Uh...
00:46:39Uh...
00:46:39Caroline, wow.
00:46:41Um...
00:46:41What are you doing here?
00:46:43I mean, I'm glad that you are, but...
00:46:45Why?
00:46:47Seems most men take advantage.
00:46:50Except you, of course.
00:46:52Giggles was a mistake.
00:46:54Ha ha.
00:46:56I'll still do your announcements.
00:46:58If you want me.
00:46:59Really?
00:47:00Oh, Caroline, absolutely.
00:47:01That'd be amazing.
00:47:02Yes, yes, thank you.
00:47:03Thank you so much.
00:47:05Wow, slaying it, Mike.
00:47:07Nobody even seen a man on a suit.
00:47:10Ah, she's just getting a bit excited.
00:47:12Our film's showing today.
00:47:14Malicious intent.
00:47:15Gangster comedy.
00:47:16Has malicious intent even got a chance?
00:47:19Well, it's a lower budget than Tugs film,
00:47:21but hopefully we spent the money where it really mattered.
00:47:25We got the secret ingredient.
00:47:27Me?
00:47:28Hey, I'm the secret ingredient.
00:47:30Well, look, when Millie was 10,
00:47:32we'd done a short film together called Daddy's Girl.
00:47:37Those clips are a springboard for malicious intent.
00:47:41It's like the story picks up from that point.
00:47:45She was much cuter then.
00:47:47Not such a pain in the arse.
00:47:52Well, the best advice I can give is that
00:47:55you never know who's going to grow up to be famous,
00:47:57so just make yourself available.
00:47:59Oh, don't be a tart.
00:48:00Well, I wish it was Beyonce.
00:48:06I've been looking for you.
00:48:08I found me.
00:48:09Well, I thought maybe you wanted some space.
00:48:11Good choice.
00:48:13Like, you just kill all the girls prettier than me.
00:48:15Or maybe just tug, so.
00:48:20Where are all the good guys, Dad?
00:48:22In the heart or in the head?
00:48:24You think I'm a good guy?
00:48:27Well, when your instinct tells you to do something,
00:48:30you don't do it.
00:48:31So maybe when it tells you not to,
00:48:33that's when you should.
00:48:35Oh.
00:48:37Read the room, Alan.
00:48:39This is the consensual kissing part.
00:48:44Caroline's back.
00:48:50Your ex that caught with your best friend, Caroline?
00:48:53Yeah.
00:48:53Um, she wants to present the awards.
00:48:56Mm, that's good, I guess.
00:48:58Great for you.
00:48:59Well, the whole thing with giggles was a mistake.
00:49:01I mean, I always thought so,
00:49:02but I guess she's realised it too, so, um...
00:49:05Yeah, no, great.
00:49:06Um, so pleased to be here.
00:49:09Are you okay?
00:49:10Yeah, just peachy.
00:49:12Learning lessons all the time.
00:49:15Right, um, um,
00:49:16sorry, just one second.
00:49:30Ladies and gentlemen,
00:49:32I would be happy to present our next film,
00:49:34Malicious Intent.
00:49:36No, no, no, no.
00:49:38Wait, wait, wait!
00:49:45Um...
00:49:47My apologies.
00:49:49There will now be a short interval
00:49:50as I need a word with the festival director.
00:49:55Young man,
00:49:58this is totally irregular.
00:50:01My paperwork should have been signed
00:50:03and she mailed off this morning.
00:50:07So, I understand.
00:50:08He's just busy.
00:50:10You've fobbed me off with that before.
00:50:12Where is your father?
00:50:14He is festival director.
00:50:15Fully understand.
00:50:16Uh, end of the next movie,
00:50:18he'll be here.
00:50:18Yeah, listen, young man.
00:50:20This might seem like a game to you,
00:50:22but it's also my job.
00:50:24And I don't like explaining to my line managers
00:50:26that I can't manage a simple task
00:50:28such as getting a...
00:50:31signature!
00:50:33Stand on me.
00:50:34I will sort it.
00:50:37It's our big day.
00:50:40Uh, yeah.
00:50:42It is.
00:51:03I curse them to hell
00:51:05as her both fought the swell.
00:51:36Our ship danced like a moth
00:51:38we were dawning.
00:51:41Oh,
00:51:44I wish I was back home in Derry.
00:51:49Oh,
00:51:52I wish I was...
00:51:54So essentially it's like a black ops agent.
00:51:57Oh! Oh! Caroline, you have to meet our president movie star, Esme Presley!
00:52:02Today everyone's a star. They're all billed as starring or also starring without earning that recognition.
00:52:08Caroline, you're back. From outer space.
00:52:12I notice you cry a lot in your films. Your tear ducts must be very close to your bladder.
00:52:18Has Alan talked you into the presenting?
00:52:20All these Best Actress nominees and I'm just thinking, shut up and get a salad.
00:52:25So Caroline thinks that we should just come clean with your adjudicator.
00:52:30Not the best idea.
00:52:32Is that your own thought or do you need a screenwriter?
00:52:37Caroline, we should be friends.
00:52:41Yes, I agree. Best friends.
00:52:46I think that ending needs work.
00:52:47How about less silly questions and a bit more shut the hell up?
00:52:51How did you make her look younger in the film? Was that computer stuff?
00:52:56This is a man who thinks the plural of goose is sheep.
00:53:00I ain't saying anything.
00:53:01So then, your style's clearly more gangster than it is horror?
00:53:07Hey, that character played Dudley in your movie? He was awesome. Joy.
00:53:16Alright, ladies and gentlemen, our next film is...
00:53:22Sex.
00:53:24Have fun.
00:53:25...
00:53:41...
00:54:06Turn around and bend over.
00:54:14I think it's time to leave.
00:54:17I'm young. I'm all dressed up.
00:54:19I'm on my way to marry the asexual awakening.
00:54:22And there's two hundred and ninety years separating it from the films of Kevin Smith.
00:54:26But that doesn't mean it's true.
00:54:32If time don't wait for no one.
00:54:38How can I wait for you?
00:54:42Tough love. Tough love.
00:54:44The cards are on the table.
00:54:48It is complete love.
00:54:50It is complete love.
00:54:52The cards will do.
00:55:02Didn't fancy sex then?
00:55:04It was beauty that killed the beast.
00:55:07Malicious intent should be good competition for Tug.
00:55:10It might blindside him.
00:55:13Oh, we can hope so.
00:55:14But look, I'm probably the most non-competitive person here, so...
00:55:18I win.
00:55:20Secrets and lies.
00:55:23Come with me.
00:55:28This is bang out of order.
00:55:30Have you any idea how much shit I went through to get the day off today?
00:55:33This ain't my day job, you know.
00:55:35It's not Alan's fault.
00:55:37Well, this does land squarely on Alan's door.
00:55:40I was thinking, since no one saw the ending of my film, can we screen it again, maybe?
00:55:48Look at you, all of you.
00:55:50No problem is too big. We can't fix it if we work together.
00:55:55Esme, you're beautiful on the inside, but it's important you understand your limitations.
00:56:01Alan, what I'm saying is, if anyone actually saw the ending of the film, then people would know that my
00:56:06character disguises itself as older.
00:56:08I will play your dad, and I will sign off this whole festival.
00:56:15What?
00:56:17I've got range.
00:56:21Kim!
00:56:23I can play Gabriel.
00:56:25That accent's incredibly tricky.
00:56:27If you don't do it, then all of this is over for everyone.
00:56:32Hello, son. How are you?
00:56:35God, this has disaster written all over it.
00:56:39Something is missing.
00:56:40Could be range.
00:56:43The meanness.
00:56:44Yeah, Gabriel is an arsehole.
00:56:47Oi, I'm not happy, and I don't like it.
00:56:50Oh, my God.
00:56:53There's my foot scrub in there.
00:56:58Yes, it's gonna be brilliant.
00:57:02And bring me a razor as well, will you?
00:57:05Yeah.
00:57:22You've been blowing hot and cold me all day.
00:57:25Everything's fine in my world.
00:57:28You might want to tell your face that.
00:57:31This is a big day for us.
00:57:33You bought the award, Tug.
00:57:35Hardly meritable.
00:57:37I read a book about this once.
00:57:38You sure it was a book?
00:57:40You sure it wasn't nothing?
00:57:42This is show business.
00:57:43Not care business.
00:57:46You're like all the worst parts of a girlfriend.
00:57:49And do you not want to meet a producer?
00:57:52And just for that, when the movie comes out,
00:57:55I'm gonna get Matt Damon to play you.
00:57:57Oh.
00:57:58Well, maybe I'll get Jade to play you, then.
00:58:01Jade?
00:58:02Yeah.
00:58:03Your new producing partner.
00:58:05A little girl-on-girl action.
00:58:10I'm joking.
00:58:12Unless...
00:58:13Unless you'd be up for it.
00:58:22Jeez, I was only joking.
00:58:23It's not a joke.
00:58:25I'm feeling lost.
00:58:27Hey.
00:58:28I've heard there was a secret code.
00:58:30Stop.
00:58:31That Michael played to please the Lord.
00:58:33Stop!
00:58:36If I explained it, I think I'd only confuse you.
00:58:41Do you know what?
00:58:43I think it's times like this.
00:58:44If I wasn't a multi-award winning, talented filmmaker,
00:58:48and you were just an ordinary girl,
00:58:50then we wouldn't have these problems.
00:58:53On Gods of Shoreditch, I was supposed to be an associate producer,
00:58:57but in reality I was more of a dog's body.
00:59:00Seriously, this again.
00:59:02I told you.
00:59:04It's whatever it takes to get the shot.
00:59:09Look.
00:59:10You can produce the next one in full.
00:59:13Yeah, my dad's already on board.
00:59:16Take that back, and I'll kill you.
00:59:19You're the producer.
00:59:22Game face on.
00:59:24Hooray for Hollywood.
00:59:38Didn't you hold the bloody lift?
00:59:39Oh, didn't I?
00:59:43Come on.
00:59:44Yeah.
00:59:49Oh, God.
01:00:09Are you not going to change for the paparazzi shorts?
01:00:12It's not really my thing.
01:00:13Besides, Gabriel would wear something like this, right?
01:00:16No, I've got a bad feeling about this.
01:00:18Listen, son.
01:00:19I've got this old routine work there.
01:00:20No routine, okay?
01:00:22This isn't an audition.
01:00:23Just say hello and then sign the pissing document.
01:00:26Where's your wife?
01:00:27I think we should just come clean.
01:00:29Hello.
01:00:31You must be the adjudicator.
01:00:34My son Alan's been telling me all about you.
01:00:38Sorry for being a bit busy.
01:00:40This film festival malarkey kept me on me toes.
01:00:43Yes, seems to have ramped up a notch
01:00:46with the screening of Gods of Shoreditch.
01:00:48One of my personal favourites.
01:00:51Um, now that you're here,
01:00:54my paperwork needs a signature.
01:00:59Absolutely.
01:01:00Happy to.
01:01:02Thank you, you.
01:01:06Oh, sorry.
01:01:08Forgot who it was there for a second.
01:01:12Is that a what?
01:01:13Yeah.
01:01:15I'll need a final signing off when the winners are announced.
01:01:21Your accent seems off.
01:01:25Oh.
01:01:27It's...
01:01:28It's posh voice.
01:01:30A posh telephone voice.
01:01:33Yeah, I should use it all the time, really.
01:01:35Heh heh heh.
01:01:36Right.
01:01:37Your Honour, may I show you to the next screening?
01:01:43Oh.
01:01:46You know, my movies are inherently amazing.
01:01:50It's all about the big screen.
01:01:53And it's not easy being an action star.
01:02:02Shouldn't you be up there now that you're here?
01:02:06Yes.
01:02:07Uh, absolutely.
01:02:09He is such a star when it comes to these things.
01:02:17Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce to you...
01:02:22Gods of Shoreditch.
01:02:25And it stars...
01:02:27Big round of applause for its stars,
01:02:29Esme Presley and Tugs Beatman.
01:02:46Good entrance.
01:02:48You wanna see the one I'm gonna make when I, uh, win my award?
01:02:54What? No! Get out!
01:02:57Come on!
01:02:58Crazy filmmakers trying to draw attention to their film.
01:03:02I thought they were quite fun.
01:03:08You know, they do say I'm the new Robert Rodriguez.
01:03:10Except I star in my own movies as well.
01:03:13Maybe Robert was smarter.
01:03:21You fought well, despite the twisted ankle.
01:03:25You will live to fight another day.
01:03:28And I assure you, it is not serious.
01:03:30I took the liberty of feeling the bone.
01:03:34And it is perfectly sound.
01:03:36Oh, sir, how will I ever thank you?
01:03:39Please, do not think of it.
01:03:41It is my honor to serve you.
01:03:45Will you not be seated?
01:03:47Pray excuse me.
01:03:49I do not wish to leave a watermark.
01:03:54Permit me to call tomorrow afternoon.
01:03:57So that I may inquire after you.
01:04:05Fight hard.
01:04:06Fight for me.
01:04:14Falling.
01:04:15Alan's pitching me some shitty book movie.
01:04:18The God Particle's the third book in a series.
01:04:22That guy.
01:04:24The Irish Connection.
01:04:25Masaka and fucking Chips.
01:04:28Shit!
01:04:29That director is the worst.
01:04:32He couldn't even direct traffic.
01:04:34You know, they should've come to me.
01:04:36Tug Speedman.
01:04:39You know I'm right, babe.
01:04:54fun and happiness in short supply out of the frying pan and into the fire it's always difficult
01:05:01when one person moves on hmm spoke to dad this morning uh he's recovering but no mention of my
01:05:09movie so nice guys don't finish last you're planning something that's going to get me in trouble aren't
01:05:18you oh most definitely
01:05:42you best move out of the way and let me be this is not how it works
01:05:46last time stump boys
01:05:48oh
01:05:49oh
01:05:50oh
01:05:52oh
01:05:53oh
01:05:54oh
01:05:56oh
01:05:57oh
01:05:57oh
01:05:57oh
01:05:58oh
01:05:59oh
01:05:59oh
01:06:00oh
01:06:01oh
01:06:01oh
01:06:01oh
01:06:01oh
01:06:02oh
01:06:02oh
01:06:03oh
01:06:03oh
01:06:03fellow
01:06:18Alan?
01:06:22Thank you, everyone, for your kind words and praise.
01:06:26The buffet has been provided for yours truly.
01:06:29Fill your guts.
01:06:33You really don't have to do this.
01:06:35You know, they have a meal before their wards.
01:06:37These ain't for me.
01:06:54That went well.
01:06:55Thanks for that.
01:06:56What happened to the group?
01:06:58Oh, this is the best fun I've had all year.
01:07:06What's this?
01:07:08Naughty movies?
01:07:09Or my ransom demands?
01:07:13We have a late entry to the film festival and I wanted you to experience it in my full company.
01:07:26Late entries are highly irregular.
01:07:36But this could be a lot of fun.
01:07:40Well, this is it.
01:07:42This is where Iron Mike is staying the night.
01:07:47Because I did have three iron bathtubs.
01:07:49They were all tied together.
01:07:51And it was really, really, really good.
01:07:55I don't know what you want me to say.
01:07:58Mike's was the best film.
01:07:59I have no patience with best.
01:08:01I have no patience with fairness.
01:08:04Life is not fair.
01:08:05Love is not fair.
01:08:08And as long as we still breathe the air of a free capitalist society, business will never be fair.
01:08:18Sacrifice, Alan.
01:08:20Like the kamikaze pilots used to do.
01:08:23Yeah, that's a discomforting stay, isn't it?
01:08:26Hemorrhoids cause discomfort.
01:08:28This is open heart surgery.
01:08:36Fuck the phone, Alan.
01:08:38You said I could produce.
01:08:40I will knock you the fuck out right here, right now.
01:08:44We did the right thing.
01:08:47Are you okay?
01:08:51Movie stars do not have opinions.
01:08:56Sorry, I know you're his dad.
01:08:58But Alan worked damn hard throughout this festival.
01:09:00And I suppose the bro's code is over now, you fucking tugs wife.
01:09:05I think I'm done here.
01:09:10We're bloody ruins.
01:09:22Ah, Alan!
01:09:24You know what I'm going to say.
01:09:25Yes, I know, you're ending.
01:09:26But I'm not being funny.
01:09:27The only thing I care about ending is this festival.
01:09:29Eyes front.
01:09:31God, does making movies have to be all this difficult?
01:09:34I'm looking forward to this.
01:09:35Who's doing your presentation?
01:09:37Hope is a surprise.
01:09:38Oh, me too.
01:09:39If she shows up.
01:09:41Hmm?
01:09:41Hmm?
01:09:42Hmm.
01:09:42I do love surprises.
01:09:44I do love surprises.
01:09:45I do love surprises.
01:09:57Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for our wonderful guest speaker, Caroline
01:10:02Doherty.
01:10:08So very glad to be here this evening amongst all the wonderful filmmakers and stars.
01:10:16To be a filmmaker, you have to be psychotic in your desire to do something.
01:10:20For the first category, best actress in a feature film.
01:10:27Millie Ward.
01:10:29Millie Ward.
01:10:32Millie Mastity.
01:10:55Millie Mastity.
01:10:57I would like to show my immense gratitude to all of the team involved in Gods.
01:11:09And for our first Best Picture nominee, we have Hey Mr DJ.
01:11:15You didn't think to thank me, the man who made it all happen.
01:11:18A film about a time in the 90s where DJs were Gods and gangsters ruled the streets.
01:11:24Your ego will be strict enough tonight.
01:11:27Let's have a look.
01:11:34What'd you throw up there?
01:11:36Just some bags I was storing stuff in.
01:11:41Right, get yourself freshened up. Got a great place for us to go to.
01:11:44Oscar, I'm not feeling up to it.
01:11:45Hey, you're single now remember? Half an hour off.
01:11:50And the next category is Best Newcomer nominees.
01:11:55Lynn Chang for Opera in the Evening Garden.
01:11:59Millie Ward for Malicious Intent.
01:12:02And Jess Bronski in Mysterious.
01:12:07And the winner is Millie Ward in Malicious Intent.
01:12:17Oh my god, I don't even know what to say.
01:12:19Thank you so much to the festival.
01:12:22Thank you so much to everyone that I've met.
01:12:25And if you would like to come for drinks afterwards, then meet me at 7th.
01:12:31She knows how proud I am of her, doesn't you?
01:12:34Hey, I was nervous and I got one.
01:12:37I mean, it looks like roughly the right shape.
01:12:40I mean, it's going to save me a tonne of berries.
01:12:43And our next Best Film nominee is for Malicious Intent.
01:13:04And the next category is Best Editing nominees.
01:13:09We have Emmett Bronski in Mysterious, Target Speedman for Gods of Shoreditch, George Chang for Opera in the Evening Garden.
01:13:21And the winner is...
01:13:24Well, this is a vindication considering no one saw the ending.
01:13:27And our third Best Film nominee is Gods of Shoreditch, a story about time-travelling gangsters.
01:13:36By night one way, by day another, this shall be the norm.
01:13:40Until you take true love's first kiss, and love takes its true form.
01:13:50But turn no one out!
01:13:54In a rather exciting category, Best Actor nominees.
01:13:59We have George Chang in Opera in Evening Garden.
01:14:05Ashraf Ward in Malicious Intent.
01:14:09Tug Speedman in Gods of Shoreditch.
01:14:13And the winner is Tug Speedman.
01:14:20Gutted, mate. Proper gutted.
01:14:24Honestly thought I was in with his chat.
01:14:28Me too. I was the best actor.
01:14:30And our fourth Best Film nominee...
01:14:34I didn't know nothing about no. Fourth nomination.
01:14:37...is a work of modern day art versus immense need.
01:14:41Now, let's have a look at Homelessness and The Man by Mike Reed.
01:14:46So there's certain things that you would do, well, certain things you look for.
01:14:49Like shopping centre. Pounds on the trolleys.
01:14:52That's a pound, like... Pounds, like...
01:14:57200 pound.
01:14:59And we're down to the final award of the evening.
01:15:02Best overall film of the festival.
01:15:05And the winner is...
01:15:07Hardly a win if you paid for it.
01:15:11Mike Reed.
01:15:25Well, it looks like you might just run best film in town.
01:15:30Thanks and everything.
01:15:32The beds are really comfortable.
01:15:38This isn't right!
01:15:40That fucking film wasn't even in the program!
01:15:43What the hell even is this fucking shit film?
01:15:45My daddy paid for all of this!
01:15:48What are you talking about?
01:15:50This was all paid for!
01:15:52No, not him!
01:15:54That's just a shit actor!
01:15:56This is outrageous. I knew something was wrong.
01:15:59Oh!
01:16:01Okay!
01:16:02I thought he was pretty convincing.
01:16:05You've falsified records.
01:16:07There may well be charges.
01:16:09What charges?
01:16:11No, no, no, please. All right, look, I'm sorry.
01:16:12This whole thing was my fault.
01:16:14Don't punish or charge anyone else.
01:16:16My dad, Gabriel, guy from the phone, had a massive heart attack,
01:16:21and he had so much money invested in this festival.
01:16:24And is Tug Speedman telling the truth?
01:16:27Technically, yes. Most of it was his money.
01:16:30His father's money.
01:16:31Yes, but we went with our hearts, and that's why Mike won Best Film.
01:16:36I don't judge the films.
01:16:38Merely here to make sure that the festival is run properly.
01:16:41From what you're telling me, this has been an absolute farce.
01:16:52Mr. Audjudicator, excuse me for interrupting.
01:16:56I have known Esme a long time.
01:16:59And, well, if my word has any bearing,
01:17:04Esme, she always speaks from her heart.
01:17:08Ms. Warren.
01:17:13I am a huge fan of your movies.
01:17:23And your words do carry significant weight.
01:17:27But this is an official matter.
01:17:30Mm. I fully understand that.
01:17:35But if Esme says that Homeless Man is the best film,
01:17:42I would not disagree.
01:17:45Thank you, Rachel.
01:17:47You're welcome.
01:17:48You're welcome.
01:18:15Producers, is this jacket okay? It feels a bit big.
01:18:21Sometimes he's got to take the chances.
01:18:24Do you regret taking a chance on me?
01:18:26Who am I to argue with the producer?
01:18:32Do you miss Tuck?
01:18:35Wherever he is and whatever he's doing, let's just hope he's not missing us.
01:18:51Total submission, bitches.
01:18:54Is this gonna hurt?
01:18:56True love is pain.
01:19:04Let's go.
01:19:05No one tries to do something, not extension.
01:19:53Turnover, and action.
01:20:02I'm not playing a streetwalker.
01:20:05It's a tart with a heart.
01:20:07What, a second-rate streetwalker wearing an outfit like this?
01:20:09I'm first class, one best new come on.
01:20:11Just do it, Harry's Griton, please, babe.
01:20:16Idiot.
01:20:19So you know the saying, never work with children or animals.
01:20:24Not me, really.
01:20:55âŠ
01:21:01...
01:21:03I am
01:21:07I am
01:21:09I am
01:21:12I am
01:21:15I am
01:21:16I am
01:21:16I am
01:21:44I am
01:21:45Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost.
01:21:50I never did thank you, did I?
01:21:56Emmet.
01:22:00I've got something for you.
01:22:02Oh, God, please do not kidnap me now.
01:22:05You'll like this.
01:22:10Oh, please. He did it to himself when we went back on his word.
01:22:15You're welcome.
01:22:18Why did you just not leave us alone?
01:22:21We told you time and time again, but you still don't listen, do you, sister?
01:22:30Oh, okay.
01:22:32Oh, okay.
Comments