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Last Week Tonight with John Oliver - Season 13 - Episode 07: March 29, 2026: Viktor Orbán
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00:01Oh
00:30You're welcome to Last Week Tonight.
00:32I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for joining us.
00:35It has been a busy week.
00:36There were no King's protests around the U.S. and the world.
00:39Whatever this was happened.
00:41And the White House tweeted,
00:43America will never give up the moon again,
00:45which is definitely something I was worried about.
00:48Meanwhile, the Iran war ended its second month,
00:51though Trump tries not to use the word war
00:53for reasons he probably shouldn't be saying out loud.
00:56I won't use the word war, because they say,
00:58if you use the word war, that's maybe not a good thing,
01:00to do.
01:01They don't like the word war,
01:03because you're supposed to get approval.
01:05So I'll use the word military operation,
01:07which is really what it is.
01:09What? He really just talks like a six-year-old
01:12speaking stream of consciousness to a stranger.
01:15And my mom says I'm not allowed to talk about my penis
01:17with other people, even though everybody has one.
01:20Well, not her and not my sister,
01:22but my dad and I both have penises.
01:23But I can't say that when there are too many people around,
01:26even though everyone knows because they have their own penises,
01:28unless they don't, but I do.
01:30But look, whatever you call this conflict,
01:32it has been chaos.
01:33Last Saturday, Trump threatened to attack Iran's power grid
01:35if the strait-off Hormuz wasn't opened,
01:37writing he'd be starting with the biggest power plant first,
01:40which would be a war crime,
01:41if this was a war.
01:43But luckily, we now know it isn't.
01:46Then on Monday, he said he'd delay those strikes for five days
01:48after very good and productive conversations with Iran,
01:51discussions they've denied took place.
01:53He's since extended the deadline until April 6th,
01:55even as Iran's continued to bomb U.S. bases and allies
01:58across the region.
01:59Almost 2,000 Iranians have been killed,
02:01as of at least 13 U.S. service members.
02:04And Trump's reportedly weighing whether to move
02:06an additional 10,000 troops to the region.
02:08It sure feels like we're in an unnecessary war
02:11with no endgame,
02:12though the president's supporters will insist
02:14that if you just look at things in the right way,
02:16it all makes sense.
02:18Here's why we went in to Iran.
02:22We had no choice.
02:24The president didn't start a war.
02:27He was trying to stop a war.
02:30Oh, I get it.
02:32Sometimes you have to start a war to stop a war.
02:35Or the same way you have to spend money to make money
02:38or fake it till you make it.
02:40You know, any of those things that people say
02:41when they're in way over their head.
02:44And look, there'll clearly be more to say
02:46about Iran going forward.
02:47But for now, we're going to dive straight in
02:49with our main story this week,
02:50which concerns Hungary,
02:51a country with over 1,000 years of rich history,
02:54a proud culture,
02:55and absolutely no chance of you finding it on this map.
02:58No chance whatsoever.
03:01No shake to Hungary, by the way.
03:02That is all on you.
03:04Hungary's given a lot to the world,
03:06from Bela Lugosi's to the Rubik's Cube
03:08to, of course, the game Hungry Hungry Hippos.
03:10Yeah, that second Hungary has an A in it.
03:13Always did.
03:14Wild, huh?
03:16It's also brought us one of the Internet's greatest ever memes.
03:20András, a retired electric engineer,
03:22was asked to be a model for stock photos 10 years ago.
03:25The Internet discovered them
03:27and decided that his smile hides a deep sorrow.
03:30He became hide-the-pain Harold.
03:32A flurry of memes followed,
03:35and András found that his face
03:36was a laughingstock of the Internet.
03:39If I wanted to draw a lesson
03:40from what happened to me,
03:42I would say life throws all kinds of challenges at you.
03:45You have to take it as it comes,
03:47try out as many things as possible.
03:49And who knows,
03:50you might even become a meme.
03:53OK, Harold,
03:54but I'm not sure you might become a meme
03:56is quite as aspirational as you think.
03:59Though, to be fair,
04:00putting on a brave smile despite inner regret
04:02is kind of this guy's whole thing.
04:05He brings that hide-the-pain energy
04:07to all his stock photos,
04:08whether he's answering the phone,
04:10whisking eggs,
04:11painting a wall,
04:12reading a patient's x-ray,
04:14or riding an exercise bike.
04:16Even when he is Santa,
04:17and his face is covered by a hat and a beard,
04:19Harold's eyes still manage to hide the pain.
04:22Look at that and tell me
04:23that Santa didn't just accidentally run over an elf
04:26and hastily hide the body.
04:27Now, the reason I want to talk about Hungary
04:29is it's set for elections on April 12th.
04:32Voters there will choose a new National Assembly,
04:34their Parliament,
04:35which in turn will mean either a new Prime Minister
04:37or the re-election of their current one,
04:39Viktor Orbán.
04:40He's been in office since 2010,
04:42with an absolute majority in Hungary's government
04:44for the entire 16 years of his tenure.
04:47He's actually the longest-serving
04:48current head of government in the EU.
04:51And if you want a quick taste
04:52of what kind of leader Orbán's been,
04:54take this testimonial video that he posted,
04:56featuring a real who's who
04:58of people I've called arseholes on this show.
05:02Including Netanyahu, Marine Le Pen,
05:04Javier Millet,
05:04and a fourth person
05:05that I'll let you discover for yourself.
05:08Security cannot be taken for granted.
05:10It must be one,
05:11and I think Viktor Orbán
05:12has all those qualities.
05:14He has the tenacity,
05:15the courage,
05:16the wisdom
05:17to protect this country.
05:19It is thanks to leaders like Viktor
05:21that the camp of patriots,
05:22defenders of nations,
05:23and sovereign people
05:25is winning in Europe.
05:26I fervently support
05:28Prime Minister Orbán
05:29and the Fidesz party.
05:30And I want to congratulate him,
05:32and also to encourage
05:33all Hungarians
05:35to continue
05:35to move forward
05:36to protect your great culture
05:38and your amazing country.
05:40Yeah, it's none other than
05:41Academy Award-watching actor
05:43Rob Schneider.
05:44And that is
05:45a pretty weird cameo there.
05:47It's like if the Avengers movie
05:48stars three Avengers
05:49and also Rob Schneider.
05:52But it's not just
05:53those celebrities
05:54and also Rob Schneider.
05:56Orbán has a close relationship
05:57with many conservatives
05:58in this country.
05:59He's not only been invited
06:00to speak at CPAC,
06:01CPAC itself
06:02has been holding
06:03a satellite conference
06:04in Hungary
06:04for the past few years
06:06where numerous U.S. conservatives
06:07have shown up
06:08arguing that America
06:09really should be taking
06:11a lesson
06:11from Orbán's work.
06:12There are many
06:13conservative members
06:14of Congress
06:15who, like me,
06:16want to see Hungary
06:17as a beacon in the West.
06:20Hungary's immigration policy
06:21should serve as a model
06:22to the United States.
06:23One place where Hungary
06:24clearly has led Europe
06:25is in reasserting
06:26its national identity,
06:28specifically with regard
06:29to rejecting
06:29mass migration.
06:31Little did I know
06:32I would walk into Budapest
06:33and basically see
06:35all of the policies
06:37that we dream for
06:38in Arizona.
06:39Okay, well first,
06:40based on that blouse,
06:41I don't think Carrie Lake
06:42came from Arizona
06:43as much as from 1987,
06:45but also,
06:46if you love Budapest
06:47so much,
06:48please know
06:48that you can
06:49and should
06:50go live there.
06:52The point is,
06:53Republicans love
06:54Viktor Orban.
06:55He's even been
06:56officially endorsed
06:57in this upcoming election
06:58by Trump,
06:59who once praised him
07:00like this.
07:01You know,
07:01I was very honored
07:02as a man.
07:03Viktor Orban.
07:04Did anyone ever hear
07:05of him is probably
07:07like one of the strongest
07:08leaders anywhere
07:09in the world
07:10and he,
07:11he's the leader of,
07:12right?
07:13He's the leader
07:14of Turkey.
07:15No, no,
07:16no, he's,
07:17close though.
07:18You are thinking
07:19of the right planets.
07:20Though,
07:21in Trump's defense,
07:22Hungary and Turkey
07:23are both in the same region,
07:24both ruled by an authoritarian
07:26and both words
07:26that a caveman would say
07:27while ordering a sandwich
07:28so you can see
07:29why his brain
07:30went there.
07:31And the love fest
07:32between Orban
07:33and American conservatives
07:34is a two-way street.
07:36In fact,
07:36just last Saturday,
07:37he spoke at the latest
07:38CPAC Hungary
07:39and outlined exactly
07:40how he sees himself
07:41fitting in
07:42to a global
07:43conservative movement.
07:46Since President Trump's win,
07:48the Western world
07:49has become a better place.
07:53Gender propaganda
07:55and woke ideology
07:56have been pushed back.
07:57People can proudly
07:58embrace Christianity
08:00as the foundation
08:01and sustaining force
08:02of our civilization.
08:04What's happening now
08:06is the largest
08:06political realignment
08:08in Western civilization
08:09in a hundred years.
08:10The epicenter
08:11of this change
08:12is the United States
08:13and its European forward base
08:15is Hungary.
08:16Wow,
08:16there is a lot there,
08:18but citing the West's
08:19largest political realignment
08:21in a hundred years
08:22is pretty striking
08:23given, you know,
08:24what started happening
08:25in Europe
08:26around a hundred years ago.
08:28That's right,
08:29Winnie the Pooh
08:30was first published.
08:31I don't know
08:31what you were thinking about,
08:33but you should know
08:34things in Hungary
08:35aren't actually going great.
08:37On Orbán's watch,
08:38it's become one of the poorest
08:39countries in the EU,
08:40so it's frankly no surprise
08:42that in recent years
08:43there have been plenty
08:44of protests
08:44against Orbán's government
08:46like this one.
08:51What's up with the zebra?
08:55What does the zebra symbolize?
08:57According to the rumors,
08:59Orbán has an estate
09:00in the countryside
09:01where zebras were spotted.
09:03the sign back there
09:05that's kind of the center of this
09:08says Hungary is a dictatorship.
09:11And then I'm being told
09:12O1G means Orbán
09:14is a sperm.
09:18Orbán is a sperm.
09:19Yeah, Orbán is a sperm.
09:22Which I assume is an insult
09:24and does just mean that
09:25he tastes slightly better
09:26when you eat pineapple.
09:27Also, that rumor
09:29about zebras being spotted
09:31is amazing if true,
09:32as all the zebras
09:33I've ever seen
09:34have been striped.
09:35Boom!
09:36Boom, boom!
09:37I got that guy so good!
09:39This show is your only source
09:41for animal puns
09:42and jokes about drinking semen
09:43in frankly too rapid succession.
09:47Orbán's Fidesz party
09:48has actually been trailing
09:49by double digits
09:50in most polls
09:51ahead of this election.
09:52But they may well
09:54still win anyway
09:55for reasons that
09:56we'll get into later.
09:57So given Hungary's election
09:58is just around the corner
09:59and just how invested
10:01in Orbán
10:02conservatives here clearly are,
10:03we thought tonight
10:04it might be worth
10:05taking a look
10:06at Viktor Orbán.
10:07And let's start
10:07with a little history
10:08and I'll skip past
10:09the stuff that we all
10:10learned in school
10:11about Hungary
10:11like how it,
10:12say it with me,
10:13was part of the Soviet bloc
10:15for much of the 20th century
10:17where it operated
10:19under a communist dictatorship.
10:21Exactly.
10:22We're all on the same page
10:24thanks to America's
10:25famously thorough
10:26and globally curious
10:28education system.
10:29But when the communist bloc
10:31began to crumble,
10:32Orbán was in the right place
10:33at the right time.
10:34Here he is in 1989
10:35as a 26-year-old
10:36calling for the withdrawal
10:37of Soviet troops
10:38and free Hungarian elections.
10:39And while I am no fan
10:41of Orbán's later work,
10:42I will admit
10:42he was a late 80s snack.
10:45He's like Mel Gibson there.
10:47He's got the hair,
10:48the intensity
10:48and the looming sense
10:50that things will eventually
10:51take a dark turn.
10:53Now, after the fall
10:54of Soviet communism,
10:55Orbán took part in talks
10:56that eventually led
10:57to Hungary's democracy.
10:58And at the time,
10:59he and Fidesz
10:59were actually a relatively
11:01liberal youth movement.
11:02In fact, early on,
11:03only people under 35
11:04could even join the party.
11:06Just look at one of their
11:07early 90s campaign ads.
11:19Here and something different.
11:23A blank slate.
11:28A new democracy.
11:32A new Hungary.
11:36Vote for Fidesz.
11:38Király.
11:40That ad
11:41has got everything
11:4390s kids loved.
11:44Maps, an orange,
11:46dominoes,
11:46and a bunch of guys
11:47who look like they're running
11:48for the president
11:48of a college radio station.
11:50There was
11:50Viktor Orbán,
11:52Hungarian Anthony Michael Hall,
11:53a steakhouse waiter
11:54on his smoke break,
11:55and, of course,
11:56Virgin John Mayer.
11:58Back then,
11:59Fidesz campaigned
12:00on adopting
12:00Western European
12:01economic and political standards
12:03and limiting the role
12:04of the state
12:05and the influence of religion
12:06on public life.
12:07But,
12:08after Orbán was elected
12:09to Parliament in 1990,
12:10he started moving
12:11the party to the right.
12:12He eventually became
12:13Europe's youngest
12:14Prime Minister in 1998,
12:16only to lose
12:16after just one term.
12:18And in his years
12:19out of power,
12:20he continued
12:21moving to the right,
12:22amping up
12:23nationalist populist rhetoric
12:24and starting to wrap himself
12:26in religion.
12:26And as he tells it now,
12:28he developed
12:28a pretty stark philosophy.
12:30In order to win,
12:32it is not enough
12:34to know
12:34what you are fighting for.
12:37You also have to know
12:40how you should fight.
12:42My answer is,
12:44play by your own rules.
12:46Now,
12:47on the surface,
12:48play by your own rules
12:49is a pretty banal sentiment.
12:51It's the live, laugh, love
12:52for people who haven't
12:53been divorced yet.
12:54But,
12:54Hungary soon found out
12:56what he meant by that
12:57in a political sense.
12:59Because in 2010,
13:00after the global financial crisis
13:01and the scandal
13:02in Hungary's ruling party,
13:03Orbán was swept back into power
13:05with a two-third supermajority
13:07and immediately
13:08began tampering with the rules
13:09to make sure
13:10he never lost again.
13:11As he put it,
13:12we have to win once,
13:14but then win big.
13:15Essentially meaning,
13:16if he ever gained power,
13:17he'd use it to fortify
13:18his position indefinitely.
13:20And we only have to win once
13:22is one of the more ominous things
13:24to hear from a leader.
13:25It's right up there along with,
13:26trust me,
13:27you're gonna love the Kool-Aid,
13:29open the gates,
13:30Papa,
13:30gotta get a closer look
13:31at that big old horse,
13:32and no smoking,
13:33what is this,
13:34a blimp for dorks,
13:35pass me my lighter.
13:37Sure enough,
13:38once back in power,
13:39Orbán moved swiftly
13:40to solidify control.
13:41In his first year in office,
13:42his government rushed
13:43through hundreds of new laws
13:44and ushered through
13:45a brand new constitution
13:46that was drafted
13:47behind closed doors
13:48and debated in parliament
13:49for only nine days.
13:51There were also big changes
13:52to Hungary's election system,
13:53including gerrymandering maps
13:55to stack the odds
13:56heavily in Orbán's favor.
13:57As a result,
13:58in 2014,
13:59his party won 45% of the vote,
14:01but 91% of the districts.
14:04In fact,
14:05thanks to that
14:05and other tweaks,
14:06independent observers
14:07have deemed Hungarian elections
14:08since then free,
14:09but not fair,
14:11which is an interesting combination.
14:12You are free
14:13to vote for anyone you want,
14:15whether it's Orbán
14:16or whoever inevitably loses to him.
14:19And while changes like those
14:21could theoretically
14:22have faced legal challenges,
14:23Orbán's also co-opted
14:25Hungary's court system,
14:26packing it with loyalists
14:27and passing a constitutional amendment
14:29that removed the court's power
14:30to evaluate
14:30any new constitutional amendments.
14:33And when he's taking
14:33all of that together,
14:34as this scholar points out,
14:36it was basically a coup,
14:37but a very 21st century one.
14:40We tend to think of a coup,
14:42right,
14:42as happening with
14:43tanks in the streets,
14:45you know,
14:46and the military takeover
14:47and the announcement on radio
14:49that, you know,
14:50all civil liberties have died.
14:52That's not what autocracy
14:54looks like anymore.
14:55You don't get,
14:56you don't get phalanxes of tanks.
14:58You get phalanxes of lawyers.
15:00That is chilling
15:02because if there is one thing
15:03that is scarier than a tank,
15:05it is a lawyer.
15:06Believe me.
15:07We have a bunch of them
15:09for this show
15:09and they are constantly yelling things
15:10like,
15:11John, you can't do this
15:12or, John, you can't show that
15:13or, John, you can't say
15:14with no evidence
15:15that Millie Bobby Brown
15:16helped plan the 9-11 attacks.
15:18That's defamation
15:18and we will get sued.
15:20So reluctantly,
15:20I don't say it.
15:21Though I will say
15:22she hasn't denied it.
15:24We admittedly haven't asked,
15:25but her silence says something.
15:28But it's not just
15:29Orbán's control of government.
15:31Part of the way
15:31he's won over the Hungarian public
15:33is through his control
15:33of the media.
15:34After returning to power,
15:35his government created
15:36a new agency
15:37to impose heavy fines
15:38for coverage
15:39that it considered
15:40unbalanced or offensive,
15:41as well as
15:42founding a new
15:43state media organisation
15:44called MTVA,
15:46overseeing all public media
15:47across TV, radio
15:49and the internet.
15:50Listen to one
15:51anonymous employee there
15:52explain just how much
15:54editorial control
15:55Orbán has.
15:56Every single thing
15:57connected to domestic politics
15:59is, um,
16:00restricted.
16:01I mean,
16:02you can't write anything
16:03bad about the government.
16:04And, uh, for example,
16:07if something, uh,
16:09is politically sensitive,
16:10I, I get instructions.
16:13In, in, in some cases,
16:15I have the whole
16:16ready-made article,
16:17so I don't need to do
16:18anything, no editing,
16:19just control C,
16:20copy and paste
16:21the whole article, really.
16:23Um, it's unimaginable,
16:26to be honest.
16:27Yeah, those conditions
16:28clearly aren't ideal
16:29for a news outlet.
16:31There is a reason
16:31they typically don't
16:32give out the Pulitzer
16:33for excellence in
16:34Control-V.
16:36A study of one
16:37public TV nightly news show
16:38found that over six months
16:39there wasn't a single instance
16:41of governing party politicians
16:42appearing on screen
16:43in a negative light.
16:45Literally zero seconds
16:46of negative coverage,
16:48which just should not
16:49be possible.
16:50Politicians attract
16:51negative coverage
16:52about everything they do,
16:53whether it's about
16:54their offensive fashion
16:55faux pas,
16:56or their court-ordered
16:57liability for sexual abuse,
16:59to pick two
16:59equivalent examples.
17:01And Orbán's reach
17:02goes well beyond
17:03non-state media,
17:04as his allies
17:04brought up tons
17:05of private,
17:06independent outlets,
17:07and then centralized
17:08many of them
17:09under a single foundation.
17:10According to the
17:11investigative journalism
17:12outlet Adlazzo,
17:14since 2010,
17:15allies of the Prime Minister
17:17have been buying up
17:18numerous Hungarian
17:19media outlets.
17:20Men like former
17:21Hollywood producer
17:22Andy Viner
17:23and old-school friend
17:24Laurence Meserosh
17:25are among a group
17:26of 14 Orbán allies
17:28who've collectively
17:29bought 11 radio stations,
17:3120 television channels,
17:32and close to 500
17:34online and print organizations.
17:36Wow.
17:37A far-right leader's
17:38friends and allies
17:38just buying up
17:39all the media outlets
17:40in the country
17:41and turning them
17:42into conservative sycophants.
17:43Can you imagine that?
17:44I sure can't.
17:46That's definitely not something
17:47I've had recurring nightmares
17:48about for the past month.
17:51And the result of all this
17:52has been
17:53Orbán's party
17:54currently controls
17:55roughly 80% of the media market.
17:58And this level of influence
17:59over laws, courts, elections,
18:00and the media
18:01has allowed Orbán
18:02to reshape Hungary
18:03virtually unchecked.
18:05On the international level,
18:06that's meant
18:06being a constant thorn
18:07in the EU side,
18:08especially when it comes
18:10to dealing with Russia.
18:11Orbán's consistently had
18:12the friendliest ties
18:13to the Kremlin
18:13in the European Union.
18:15In fact,
18:15he's long weaponized
18:16Hungary's veto power
18:18at the EU
18:18to block
18:19Russia-related sanctions,
18:20tie up financial aid
18:22to Ukraine,
18:22and repeatedly stall
18:23urgent EU decisions.
18:24And it says something
18:25that even a decade ago,
18:27this is how the then
18:28President of the European Commission
18:29greeted Orbán
18:31at a summit.
18:32The dictator is coming.
18:37Dictator?
18:41It's pretty good.
18:42It's pretty good.
18:43And while I do not
18:44condone violence,
18:45there are a few scenarios
18:47where I think it's fine
18:48to slap someone.
18:50When you're trying
18:51to revive them,
18:52when you are Cher,
18:53and you really need
18:53Nick Cage to snap out of it.
18:55And of course,
18:56whenever you have the chance
18:57to hit an authoritarian
18:58in the face.
19:00Meanwhile,
19:01domestically,
19:02Orbán's reshaped Hungary
19:03into what's basically
19:04a theme park
19:05of reactionary talking points.
19:06For instance,
19:07he's railed against Europe
19:08becoming a mixed-race society
19:09and opposes allowing
19:10asylum seekers into Hungary
19:11despite EU
19:13and international laws.
19:14During the migrant
19:15and refugee crisis
19:16a decade ago,
19:17Hungary was accused
19:17of unlawful detention
19:18and violence
19:19against asylum seekers.
19:20And he made a big show back then
19:23of being openly hostile
19:24toward them,
19:25even going so far
19:26as to build
19:27an electrified border fence,
19:28which inevitably
19:29got this rave review
19:30from Tucker Carlson.
19:32Hungary began building
19:33the fence in June of 2015.
19:36By September,
19:36it was done.
19:37Well, they're serious
19:38about their border.
19:39It's not a high-tech border wall.
19:41It's a double fence
19:43with a road in the middle.
19:44But the difference is
19:45they're willing to protect it.
19:46They're not kidding.
19:47It's their border.
19:48They control it
19:48because they're a country.
19:50It's also really pretty.
19:52Pretty?
19:53Look, there are three things
19:54you can rely on in this life.
19:56Death, taxes,
19:57and if you build a fence
19:58to keep out immigrants,
19:59Tucker Carlson
20:00is going to want to fuck it.
20:01Although,
20:02if he really does
20:03want to kiss
20:04some electrified barbed wire,
20:05who am I to stop him?
20:07Love is love.
20:09But even as migration
20:11to Europe has declined,
20:12Orban has continued
20:13to fear-monger
20:14about how,
20:15if it weren't for him,
20:15Hungary might be forced
20:16to accept millions of refugees,
20:18who he has falsely characterized
20:19as disease-ridden threats
20:21to public health,
20:22extremists planning terrorist acts,
20:24and agents of a plot
20:25to replace native Europeans
20:27with foreigners.
20:27All while reaching
20:29for a now-familiar scapegoat,
20:31suggesting George Soros
20:32was masterminding
20:33a nefarious plan
20:34to overrun Hungary
20:35with refugees,
20:35and posting billboards
20:36and full-page media ads
20:38with the caption,
20:39Don't let Soros
20:40have the last laugh.
20:41And it wasn't just billboards.
20:43Orban's government also passed
20:44a law officially called
20:45Stop Soros
20:46that made it illegal
20:47to help asylum seekers
20:49even just with their paperwork
20:51and led a campaign
20:52to shut down
20:53the Hungarian university
20:54that Soros founded.
20:55Though, what is a little strange
20:57about Orban's anti-Soros vendetta
20:59is that back in 1989,
21:00he actually received
21:01a Soros-funded scholarship
21:03to study at Oxford University,
21:05where I presume
21:06he majored in irony.
21:08But immigrants at Soros
21:10aren't Orban's only punching bags.
21:12His government's also
21:13gone after Hungary's
21:13LGBTQ community,
21:15something that he bragged about
21:17at CPAC.
21:17To sum up,
21:19the mother is a woman,
21:21the father is a man,
21:23and leave our kids alone.
21:25Full stop.
21:26End of discussion.
21:27We decided
21:28we don't need more genders,
21:30we need more rangers.
21:33Less drag queens
21:34and more Chuck Norris.
21:36What?
21:37That doesn't make
21:38any sense.
21:39The number of genders
21:40has nothing to do
21:41with the number of rangers,
21:43and the number of drag queens
21:44has nothing to do
21:45with the number of Chuck Norris's,
21:46especially because
21:47the most Chuck Norris's
21:48you can have is one,
21:50and that number
21:51went down to zero last week.
21:53And if this is how
21:54you are finding that out,
21:55surprise!
21:57But it's not just rhetoric.
21:59Orbán's government
22:00officially redefined family,
22:02which meant an effective
22:03ban on adoption
22:04by same-sex couples,
22:05and banned trans people
22:06from changing their gender
22:07on their IDs.
22:08In 2021,
22:10Hungary even passed a law
22:11banning depicting
22:12or promoting LGBT plus content
22:14in schools and the media.
22:15And if that sounds
22:16at all familiar to you,
22:18it may be because
22:19just nine months after that,
22:20Flora's Ron DeSantis
22:21signed his version of it,
22:23focused on classroom instruction,
22:24the so-called
22:25don't say gay law.
22:26But perhaps the policy
22:27that sums up Orbán's
22:29obsessions the best
22:30from Christian conservatism
22:31to panic over migrants
22:32is his relentless focus
22:34on Hungary's low birth rate.
22:36He's tried to increase it
22:37by introducing incentives
22:38like tax exemptions
22:39and interest-free loans
22:41of about $30,000 for parents,
22:43which then get cancelled
22:44if they have three children.
22:46And that's a pretty good deal,
22:47but does make giving kids
22:49the talk a little more complicated.
22:52Well, when a man and a woman
22:53love each other very much,
22:55but also get a sick,
22:56low-interest loan
22:57from the Hungarian government,
22:59that's how babies are made.
23:02Orbán's framed the need
23:03for Hungarians to procreate
23:04as an existential crisis,
23:06because to hear him tell it
23:07in this ad that his government
23:08posted, the alternative
23:10is for the country
23:11to be overrun by migrants.
23:31OK, obviously that's yet more
23:33great replacement fearmongering,
23:34but as for you can make fish soup
23:36from fish,
23:37but you can't make fish
23:38from fish soup,
23:39is that folk wisdom?
23:41Or is that just how soup works?
23:44I'm just saying,
23:45if your nana pointed at a bowl of soup
23:47and said,
23:47you can't make fish out of that,
23:49you'd be looking at retirement home brochures
23:51that afternoon.
23:52Also, for what it's worth,
23:54that metaphor cuts both ways,
23:56because I've found,
23:57with fish soup,
23:58as with countries,
23:59when you add more ingredients,
24:00it tends to taste better,
24:02otherwise what you have
24:03is hot fish water.
24:05But Orbán is serious about this.
24:08He spent about 5% of Hungary's GDP
24:11on programs incentivizing families
24:13to have kids,
24:14but it hasn't worked.
24:16Hungary's fertility rate
24:17recently dipped to the lowest
24:18in a decade,
24:19and their population
24:20is still shrinking.
24:20And that might be
24:22because people
24:22just don't feel optimistic
24:24about raising kids
24:25in Orbán's Hungary,
24:27a place where
24:27two-thirds of the citizens
24:28describe the national education system
24:30as bad,
24:30or where even
24:31the Conservative Heritage Foundation
24:33has put his government
24:33at the bottom of the EU
24:35in its rankings
24:36of government integrity.
24:37And that is the thing
24:38about Viktor Orbán.
24:40For all the fear-mongering
24:41he's done,
24:42all the fences he's built,
24:43and all the laws he's passed
24:45to protect Hungary
24:46from the threat of migrants,
24:47gays,
24:47and George Soros,
24:48he's fundamentally failed
24:50when it comes to the basics
24:52of good governance.
24:53Funding for schools
24:54and hospitals there
24:54has gotten so dire
24:55he had to sign
24:56an executive order
24:57to ensure medical facilities
24:58were stocked
24:59with toilet paper.
25:00Although,
25:00to hear his health secretary
25:01tell it,
25:02any complaints
25:03that people had about that
25:04were completely unreasonable.
25:07In an operation
25:08as big as the Hungarian
25:09hospital system,
25:10which is 3 million square meters
25:12and has tens of thousands
25:13of people visiting every day,
25:15I consider it
25:16a mathematical impossibility
25:17that there should be
25:18toilet paper
25:19in all hospital bathrooms
25:20at all times.
25:21To this day,
25:22I maintain that this
25:23is a mathematical impossibility.
25:25Look,
25:26I have heard
25:27some bad talking points
25:29in the past,
25:30but it's mathematically impossible
25:32for our hospitals
25:33to have toilet paper
25:34is right up there.
25:36I'm really only surprised
25:37that he didn't go on
25:37to suggest hospitals
25:38just hang a sign
25:39in every bathroom
25:40reminding people
25:41that using their socks
25:42is always an option.
25:44And it is not a great sign
25:45for Orban
25:46that some of his heaviest-handed tactics
25:48now do seem to be backfiring.
25:50Take this story
25:51from last summer.
25:52Victor Orban's government
25:53banned LGBTQ public gatherings
25:56in March,
25:57including this one.
25:59But that ban
26:00only seems
26:01to have galvanized
26:02countless Hungarians.
26:03They took part
26:04in the parade
26:05despite the risk
26:06of being identified
26:07by the authorities
26:08using facial recognition software.
26:11I object to any restriction
26:13of rights.
26:14Everyone should be free
26:15to choose a partner.
26:16And I condemn
26:17any restrictions
26:18that crush freedom of assembly
26:19and other freedoms.
26:21And that's why I'm here.
26:22I thought the government
26:23would make it impossible
26:24for this to happen
26:25and that there wouldn't
26:25be many people.
26:26It's a fantastic feeling
26:27that it's a much bigger crowd
26:28than ever before.
26:30Yeah, that is amazing
26:31and a pretty colossal
26:32backfire from Orban.
26:34After all,
26:35if the Rob Schneider movie
26:36The Chosen One
26:37taught us anything,
26:37it's the harder you try
26:39to oppress people
26:40through fear,
26:40the more they'll rise up
26:42against you.
26:42Now, full disclosure,
26:44I don't know
26:44if that's really
26:45the moral of that film.
26:47Like everyone else on Earth,
26:48I haven't seen it.
26:49But what are you gonna do?
26:51Watch it yourself
26:52to fact check me?
26:53No fucking way!
26:55So let's just say
26:56that's the message
26:57of the film
26:58and move on,
26:59shall we?
27:00So what happens next?
27:02Well, despite the increasing
27:03opposition to Orban
27:04in Hungary,
27:05the truth is
27:05in this election,
27:07the playing field
27:07is still tilted
27:08strongly in his favour
27:09and even if
27:11he somehow ends up
27:12losing the game
27:13that he's carefully rigged,
27:14it's worth knowing
27:15his main opponent,
27:16Peter Magyar,
27:17isn't exactly the reformer
27:18that you would dream of here.
27:20He's a former member
27:21of Fidesz
27:21who's railed
27:22against Orban's corruption
27:23but still shares plenty
27:24of his right-leaning views
27:26and even some Hungarians
27:27who say they plan
27:28to vote for him
27:29don't seem thrilled about it.
27:31I think more and more
27:32people want change.
27:33Mr. Magyar,
27:34he used to be
27:35a member of Fidesz.
27:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:36Do you worry
27:37that he might be
27:38too similar?
27:40Four years later,
27:41we will see.
27:43To be honest,
27:44if there would be
27:45a good left-wing party,
27:47I would vote for them
27:48but there is not
27:49so I will vote
27:50for Magyar, Peter.
27:52So he's not completely
27:53on your level
27:55when it comes to everything?
27:56It's not my taste, exactly.
27:58Yeah, he's clearly
27:58not thrilled
27:59about voting for Magyar
28:01but he's willing
28:01to push that discomfort down
28:02and put on a happy face anyway.
28:04If only
28:05there were a Hungarian meme
28:07to capture that sentiment perfectly.
28:09I guess,
28:10I guess we'll never know.
28:12But the thing is,
28:13regardless of what happens
28:14on April 12th,
28:15Orban's stranglehold on power
28:17should be alarming
28:18for us here in the States
28:19because he has clearly
28:20been an inspiration
28:22to American conservatives
28:23to the point that
28:23J.D. Vance is apparently
28:25planning to visit Hungary
28:26to show support for Orban
28:28ahead of their election
28:29and that is because for them,
28:31Orban is not a cautionary tale.
28:33He is a blueprint.
28:35To put it another way,
28:36if Orban is a sperm,
28:37think of Trump as the baby,
28:39the sperm,
28:40in fact, you know what,
28:40forget that,
28:41it's a disgusting image.
28:42Let's reset and try again.
28:44Look,
28:44it's not just me
28:45sounding the alarm here.
28:47People like this
28:47Hungarian politician
28:48have been trying
28:49to warn us for a while.
28:50You must be familiar
28:51with the fact
28:52that there are many
28:52U.S. conservatives
28:54coming here
28:55to learn from
28:57Orban's style of governance.
28:58Why do you think that is?
28:59I don't know why that is,
29:01but I know that it's dangerous.
29:03You should take care
29:03of your democracy
29:04because fortunately enough
29:05you have your checks
29:06and balances.
29:07If somebody is able
29:08to switch them off,
29:09you would also slide down.
29:11This is what happened
29:12to Hungary
29:12and I really hope
29:13that your system,
29:14the 200-year-old
29:15American democracy
29:16which I admire,
29:17is strong enough
29:18to withstand any such threat.
29:21Yeah, he's right.
29:21The fact is
29:22we are lucky
29:23to have the checks
29:24and balances
29:24that we do
29:25but we would do well
29:27to watch
29:27for warning signs
29:28of what happened
29:29in Hungary
29:30starting to happen here.
29:31You know,
29:31small things
29:32like, I don't know,
29:33stacking the courts
29:34or shameless gerrymandering
29:35or fear-mongering
29:36about immigrants
29:37or presidential allies
29:39buying up the media.
29:40You know,
29:40anything you might spot
29:42like that.
29:43And look,
29:43it is not a perfect
29:44one-to-one.
29:45Orban's takeover
29:46was organized
29:46and methodical
29:47while Trump
29:47has the attention span
29:48of a coked-up hummingbird
29:49with a head injury.
29:50But they're not
29:51worlds apart either.
29:53And I'll say,
29:53if the right
29:54is looking to Orban
29:55as a model,
29:56the rest of us
29:57could do a lot worse
29:58than to look to those
29:59Hungarians in the streets
30:00for inspiration.
30:02Because to everyone
30:03who's ever fought
30:04for American democracy,
30:06failing to resist
30:08authoritarianism
30:08would be a huge
30:09slap in the face.
30:10And unfortunately,
30:11not the undeniably fun kind.
30:13And now,
30:15this.
30:16And now,
30:17some disgusting
30:18new ballpark food
30:19for baseball's
30:21opening day.
30:22The Miami Marlins
30:23are serving up
30:24the machete.
30:24It's a two-foot-wide
30:27tortilla
30:27with melted mozzarella,
30:29Oaxaca cheese,
30:30carne asada,
30:31salsa verde,
30:32and cilantro.
30:33Yum!
30:34The Schwerbaum Sunday
30:36funnel cake
30:37fried strawberry
30:39uncrustable
30:40covered in fruity
30:41cereal
30:41and served with ice cream.
30:42This is our double-diamond
30:44waffle fry
30:44with cheese sauce,
30:46lardons of bacon,
30:47mushroom,
30:48beef short ribs,
30:49braised in red wine,
30:50fontina cheese,
30:51and some crispy onions.
30:52The behemoth bat flip.
30:54Two pounds of meat
30:55and onions and egg
30:56and holy moly.
30:57I don't know
30:58how you're gonna eat it,
30:58but I challenge you.
31:00Crab mac and cheese
31:02hot dog.
31:03The Monster Burger
31:04topped with entire
31:05Vienna sausages.
31:07Nachos on a stick.
31:08Barbecue brisket
31:09on a mac and cheese waffle.
31:10A chow mein burrito.
31:12Now, Hempler's
31:13jalapeno cheddar bowl.
31:14It's got Hempler's
31:15jalapeno cheddar sausage bites
31:17with sauteed peppers
31:18and onions
31:19on dirty Cajun rice.
31:21It's topped
31:21with Cajun cream sauce.
31:23You can't tell me
31:24if you get that.
31:25You're gonna be able
31:26to stay in your seat
31:27for nine innings.
31:30You can't...
31:31You're gonna make it
31:31two innings
31:32and you're gonna be like,
31:32I'll see you in an hour.
31:36Moving on.
31:37Before we go,
31:38a quick word about branding.
31:39In Trump's second term,
31:40he's continued his famous love
31:42of slapping his name
31:43and face on things.
31:44Just this week,
31:44we learned he'd be
31:45the first ever sitting president
31:46to put his signature
31:47on our currency.
31:48And that is just
31:48the latest thing
31:49he's awkwardly
31:50added himself to.
31:51From the Donald J. Trump
31:53United States
31:54Institute of Peace,
31:55which is bold,
31:56to the Kennedy Center,
31:58which is now called
31:59the Donald J. Trump
32:00and the John F. Kennedy
32:01Memorial Center
32:02for the Performing Arts.
32:03To even this.
32:04The annual National Parks Pass
32:06is getting a new look.
32:08As you can see,
32:08the America,
32:09the beautiful card
32:10features a photo
32:11of President Donald Trump
32:12near an image
32:13of George Washington.
32:15Well, that is not ideal.
32:16You don't expect
32:17a National Parks Pass
32:18to feature spooky,
32:19live-action
32:20Statler and Waldorf here.
32:21And look,
32:22I get what they're going for
32:24by showcasing America's
32:25first and final presidents
32:27together.
32:27But Trump making himself
32:29and famed cherry tree enemy
32:31George Washington
32:32the faces of our national parks
32:34is weird for a number
32:34of reasons.
32:35First, Trump seems
32:36to hate them.
32:37He's made steep cuts
32:38to the park service,
32:40which has now lost
32:4024% of its permanent employees.
32:42But also,
32:43the passes have previously
32:44focused on the natural beauty
32:45of the parks.
32:46Like this one,
32:47featuring an image
32:48of a redwood forest.
32:49This one, featuring a frog
32:50with bedroom eyes.
32:51And this one,
32:52featuring a roseate spoonbill,
32:54a bird that always
32:55looks like a regular duck
32:56attending the Met Gala.
32:58The point is,
32:59the parks passes
33:00were about the parks.
33:02And there's actually
33:02a lawsuit right now
33:03arguing that Trump's face
33:05can't be on there,
33:06as federal law requires
33:07the main America the Beautiful
33:08pass to feature
33:09the winning photo
33:10of the National Parks Foundation's
33:11annual public lands photo contest.
33:13That is an argument
33:15seemingly backed up
33:16by the announcement
33:17of last year's winner,
33:18which says,
33:18this photo by Akshay Joshi
33:20will be featured
33:20on the 2026 America the Beautiful
33:22annual pass.
33:23And does not go on to say,
33:25unless that is,
33:26the president feels like
33:27replacing it with a shot
33:28of him getting a prostate exam
33:29from George Washington.
33:31Now,
33:32now,
33:32the winning photo is
33:34on the more expensive pass
33:35for international visitors,
33:37but the cheaper one
33:38for U.S. residents
33:38now has Trump slapped on it.
33:40And while that winning photo
33:41is clearly better,
33:43if you'll just permit
33:44a quick digression here,
33:45if you look at the runners-up
33:47from that contest,
33:48I'd argue they both got robbed
33:50because second place
33:51went to this iconic
33:52big bird,
33:53bonking little bird.
33:54And third place
33:55was this absolute masterpiece.
33:58A bear moments after
34:00the photographer said,
34:01now let's take a silly one.
34:03But obviously,
34:05any of these three
34:06would be a better choice
34:07for a pass
34:08than this image
34:08that looks like he asked AI
34:09what would Ebeneezer Scrooge
34:11look like today?
34:12And it's not just me
34:13who thinks that.
34:14People buying these passes
34:15have sometimes been
34:16unpleasantly surprised.
34:17Like this motorcyclist
34:18who filmed himself
34:19buying a pass
34:20at an entrance booth
34:21and then showed
34:21his real-time reaction.
34:23Last year,
34:24when I bought a park pass,
34:25there was like a cool picture
34:25of like a lizard
34:26or something on it.
34:27So I bought this one
34:28and I'm all like,
34:29oh,
34:30this could be my park pass
34:31for the year.
34:31I wonder what cool picture
34:32is on it.
34:33And it's fucking
34:34George Washington.
34:36It's fucking
34:37lizard.
34:39Oh, man,
34:40you know,
34:41no love or hate
34:42towards anyone
34:43specifically,
34:44but I just thought
34:45this was funny.
34:46Like,
34:47man,
34:48you know,
34:49I would have preferred
34:50like a cool scenic
34:51nature
34:52animal or something.
34:54but this is funny too.
34:57Excellent.
34:58And kudos to that guy
34:59for rolling with what
35:00had to be a disappointment.
35:01You think you're going to see
35:02a cool lizard
35:04only to get Trump instead?
35:05That sucks in any context.
35:06If your friend said,
35:07hey,
35:08come to the garage,
35:09I trapped a cool lizard
35:10under a bucket,
35:11but it turned out
35:12to be Donald Trump instead,
35:14oh, man.
35:17Oh, man.
35:19Oh, I was really looking forward
35:20to that lizard.
35:23And it seems
35:24there are plenty of park regulars
35:26annoyed at having to carry around
35:28his face in their pocket,
35:29because some have even come up
35:30with ways to cover it up,
35:31like this woman.
35:32Really just want
35:34to embrace what people
35:35are already expressing
35:37everywhere,
35:37that they want to see nature
35:40on their national parks pass.
35:42Jenny created stickers
35:43out of some of her paintings.
35:44There's a grizzly bear
35:45sitting here looking at Denali.
35:47The stickers are the dimensions
35:48of the America,
35:49the beautiful pass.
35:50The back has different segments
35:53that come off,
35:53so it's broken up into segments
35:55so they could leave.
35:56And they're designed
35:57to be peeled off
35:58in different ways.
35:59So that when it's adhered
36:00to the front of the pass,
36:01you could flip that up
36:02and show the diamond underneath.
36:04Yeah, it's pretty clever.
36:05Sometimes you've got
36:06to get imaginative
36:07when you're trying
36:08to cover something up
36:08or make it more palatable.
36:10For her, it was stickers.
36:11And for the producers
36:12of snakes on a plane,
36:13it was having Samuel L. Jackson
36:14retake his lines
36:16for a clean version like this.
36:17I have had it
36:18with these monkey-fighting snakes
36:20on this Monday to Friday plane.
36:22Yeah, it's...
36:23It's pretty monkey-fighting smart.
36:26Now, possibly in response
36:28to people putting stickers
36:29on their passes like that,
36:30the Department of Interior
36:32suddenly updated their rules,
36:34explicitly flagging stickers
36:35and other coverings
36:36as alterations
36:37that could invalidate the pass.
36:38Though, interestingly,
36:39stickers have never caused
36:41an issue before,
36:42with one park worker saying,
36:44I've personally accepted passes
36:45that people put stickers on
36:47because they just like stickers
36:48and it's never been a problem,
36:50which seems fair to me.
36:52Other designers are now selling
36:53non-sticker-based solutions,
36:55like this sleeve that,
36:56what do you know,
36:57turns out to fit
36:58just perfectly
36:59over the card.
37:01These sleeves are apparently
37:03selling pretty well on Etsy
37:04and getting reviews like,
37:05this is perfect
37:06to obscure that face
37:07I do not need to see.
37:09And look, there is something
37:10inspiring about seeing people
37:11find a way to enjoy
37:12their experience
37:12at national parks
37:13without having to look at the guy
37:15who's actively trying to ruin them.
37:16And if you want to,
37:17you can still buy
37:18any of the things
37:19that I've shown you tonight.
37:19But if for whatever reason
37:21you want to adorn your past
37:22even further,
37:23perhaps we can help here
37:24because we've designed
37:25some stickers
37:26that you can download for free
37:27that can cover up
37:28either Trump's face
37:29or the entire image.
37:31First, we contacted
37:32the photographer
37:33who took that excellent
37:34bear photo
37:35and they have very kindly
37:36let us turn it into a sticker
37:37which honestly
37:38works pretty well
37:39on that box.
37:41Now,
37:42if you
37:42want to respect
37:44this year's presidential theme
37:46but would like a different
37:47president to do that,
37:48we've made stickers
37:48of all our wax
37:49president's faces
37:50and I've got to say
37:51Jimmy Carter's in particular
37:53looks great on there.
37:54If you want some wildlife
37:55you can print out
37:56a sticker of Mr. Nutterbutter
37:58or if you,
37:59like that motorcyclist,
38:00would prefer a cool lizard
38:01why not try a sticker
38:02of one of our earliest mascots
38:04the Russian Space Gecko?
38:05Again,
38:05they each fit
38:06pretty nicely on the parks.
38:08Finally,
38:09if you would prefer
38:09a vista
38:10to cover the whole image
38:11how about this one
38:12from when we sent
38:13our mascot
38:13Marshmallow
38:14the polar bear
38:15with a broken penis
38:15to Alaska
38:16to bet
38:17on an ice-melting contest
38:18or of course
38:19this gorgeous rendering
38:20of what two wild animals
38:22get up to
38:23when you simply
38:24allow nature to thrive.
38:26I would argue
38:27it's the perfect image
38:28to hold your rights
38:30to visit all America's
38:31national parks
38:32for the next 12 months.
38:33All of these stickers
38:34to cover Trump's face
38:35are available for you
38:36at
38:38johnolivergivestrumphead.com.
38:39Actually,
38:39no, no, no, no.
38:40No, no.
38:41I don't,
38:41I do not like
38:42the way that sounds.
38:44It feels wrong to me
38:45because we're giving up
38:45multiple heads,
38:46aren't we?
38:47So it should be
38:49johnolivergivestrumpheads.com.
38:50That is much better.
38:51That is our show.
38:51Thank you so much
38:52for watching.
38:53We're all for the next
38:54couple of weeks
38:54back on April 19th.
38:57Good night.
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