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Short filmTranscript
00:20Are you Diana?
00:22Are you Diana?
00:28Are you the one Ivan sent?
00:31Yeah.
00:40Oh, it's all there.
00:41Says who?
00:41You?
00:42I don't know you.
00:44It says Ivan.
00:45Who says I trust Ivan?
00:48I don't trust my own fucking granddaughter.
00:52She's a liar.
00:53Okay.
00:58Hmm.
01:06In the future, never hand over the money till you see what you're buying.
01:10It's a dead giveaway you knew at this.
01:22All there sweetheart?
01:24Why?
01:25You got somewhere to be?
01:28Maybe.
01:30Now click your heels together three times and get the fuck out of my hair.
01:35I like your attitude though.
01:51Hey.
01:52Hi.
01:53Um.
01:55I'm so sorry.
01:56I'm not here for that.
01:57I am.
01:58So can you show me some respect?
02:00Yeah, of course.
02:00Of course.
02:01I just don't have any cash on me.
02:02So I just didn't want to engage without the cash.
02:05Unless you take Zelle.
02:07I'm just waiting on my sister who's dropping off in applications.
02:11Wow.
02:11Unbelievable.
02:12Time check.
02:12Yep.
02:14Um.
02:16Six minutes.
02:16Okay.
02:17I told you, you didn't have to wait for ten.
02:19That's four under.
02:19What a skill, Morgan.
02:21Congratulations.
02:21Can we leave?
02:22It smells like bleach in here.
02:23Okay.
02:24Yeah.
02:24Okay.
02:31You know, for a second there, I was actually thinking about doing it.
02:34What?
02:34You do understand that you can't just sit at the bottom of the pool begging people for money,
02:38right?
02:39You have to, like, work at it?
02:41I don't know.
02:42We're getting good at this.
02:44Running errands for a strange Russian man?
02:46Yeah.
02:46Okay, Morgan, for sure.
02:47Kind of.
02:47That's great.
02:48Alright.
02:48It's 6am, so I'm gonna just get back to bed.
02:51You're gonna go?
02:52Okay.
02:52Okay?
02:53I'm up though.
02:54Did you want to?
02:55Huh?
02:55Do you want to get food?
02:56No.
03:04No.
03:05No.
03:05No.
03:33Where were you?
03:41I had a parishioner in the hospital with double pneumonia.
03:48Who was it?
03:54Jessica.
03:56Jessica's uncle.
03:57Do you?
03:58I don't know.
03:58You might not have met him.
04:03No.
04:04Go back to bed.
04:05No.
04:09I've really been enjoying staying over here the past few nights.
04:14Me too.
04:23You're worried she's been judging us.
04:28I like to think she's pretty progressive.
04:32It's the most fun she's had in years.
04:36Why is it that religion has such a problem with two people who are in love with each other?
04:53Because God is perfect.
04:55But the people who interpret him are not.
05:01Because God is perfect.
05:03So you're really just gonna leave me hanging on that?
05:05I'm sorry.
05:06Did you say something to me?
05:09You said I love you.
05:22I love you too.
05:25Now can you promise me you will honor this moment by having a good day without twisting it into some
05:31kind of problem?
05:34It's so much hotter when you're happy.
05:38Things are good.
05:39They're good.
05:41Gnarly rash.
05:42Gone.
05:43Why did you bring the rash into this?
05:44We were having such a nice moment.
05:47Oh, come here.
05:49Oh, you...
06:05Oh, come here.
06:08Oh, come here.
06:38You sure you don't want to keep these?
06:39They're her high school yearbooks.
06:40Nicholas, do you want to keep them?
06:42Because I have to check out in half an hour.
06:44This is like a hotel for people circling the drain.
06:47Okay.
06:47This is what she wanted.
06:49She wasn't attached to anything.
06:51She was a very unromantic, practical woman.
06:54Okay.
06:55I mean, she wanted the necklace.
06:56What necklace?
06:59The necklace she was buried in.
07:01She wanted that.
07:02Oh, she didn't care about that.
07:04That was more for me.
07:04I wanted her to have something nice.
07:06Donate.
07:13Holy shit.
07:16Uh...
07:19I don't know.
07:20An old box of tennis ticket stubs?
07:22Oh, she would want Dina to have those.
07:25Set those aside for Dina Caputo.
07:27Sorry, you don't want anything, but you want Dina Caputo to have an old box of tennis ticket stubs?
07:31It was just something that they did together.
07:34I have long suspected that your grandmother was a lesbian.
07:38Excuse me?
07:39And that she and Dina would have been together if things had been different.
07:42Dina's had that haircut her entire life.
07:44I saw them holding hands once.
07:46What?
07:47I think that's why she was so difficult to deal with.
07:50Dad died so young she never remarried, and I think it was because she was in love with Dina Caputo.
07:55Trash.
07:58Avoiding intimacy for such a long time can really harden a person, hun, to the point where you fear any
08:05semblance of softness.
08:07The truth is everybody deserves love and a good sex life.
08:15Yeah, I mean, you know, I know it's been a while since Dad, but you are more than welcome to
08:22date. There's nothing stopping you from doing that.
08:24I was talking about you.
08:25Me?
08:26You think I'm a hard woman?
08:29No, I don't. You think I'm a hard person?
08:34I think that you have made some very selfless decisions in your life, but if I'm being honest, sometimes I
08:42get scared that your closest relationship is with God.
08:46And don't take this the wrong way, honey, but God isn't touching your body for pleasure.
08:51Alright, Ma.
08:52Honey, I know that it's a sacred relationship, but you know what I'm talking about.
09:01I mean, yeah, I do, but I have a lot of relationships that I'm grateful for in my life, okay?
09:09I'm choosing happiness, you know? So you don't need to worry about me.
09:17Okay, well that's good. I just felt like I had to say that out loud.
09:20And you did, so...
09:21And I do have sex.
09:23Nicholas.
09:24Alright, I don't need to hear about that.
09:25No, I do, no, but I'm glad that I come across as some spinster who tucks herself into bed every
09:30night and says a prayer and goes to sleep.
09:31That's not, I think you're reading into something here.
09:33I am not my mother.
09:34Well, alright.
09:36Hi, Mrs. Morelli. I just wanted to check in and see if you had any idea about your ETD.
09:42I do not. I will come get you when we're finished. And I would have killed for this level of
09:46attentiveness when my mother was actually in this room.
09:51Okay.
09:53Jesus Christ.
09:55What?
09:57What?
09:58Nothing.
09:59What are you looking at?
09:59I'm not looking at anything.
10:00What are you thinking?
10:01I'm not thinking anything.
10:01No, I know. Turn it off.
10:03Okay.
10:03I have my first debate this afternoon. I have been under a tremendous amount of stress. So that's a very
10:10different situation.
10:11Yeah. Soft.
10:13Trash.
10:16She's just mean. For no reason. And some of the times, I think it's kind of hot. In like a
10:23pain is pleasure kind of way. But some of the times, you know, I just like, wish that it was
10:28easier.
10:29Well, how am I supposed to tell the difference?
10:31Is that a real question or a reaction?
10:34I don't know. Both. I mean, he's calling me mean. I feel the need to defend myself.
10:38Defend yourself. Would you describe the current state of your relationship as, uh, combative?
10:44No.
10:45Fuck yeah.
10:46I would describe it as me having opinions and Max throwing tantrums.
10:51When you use words like tantrum, can you see how that can be perceived as an attack on Max?
10:56Thank you. Yeah, you like push me for no reason.
10:59Stop saying that. It's not for no reason. I'm pushing you because maybe deep down, right, I am waiting for
11:06you to push back and you never do.
11:08And it is so unattractive. Like, I want you to get mad.
11:11I'm an only child, Morgan. I didn't grow up in some emotional war zone like you did, okay?
11:16This is all that I know. So if that's unattractive to you, fine. Trust me, you can be very unattractive
11:22to me sometimes, too.
11:23Okay, see? This is what I'm talking about.
11:26What are you talking about?
11:27You sticking up for yourself.
11:29Oh, oh, you want me to talk to you like this all the time?
11:30Not all the time, but sometimes, maybe sometimes. I am so bored a lot of the time.
11:36I'm boring. I'm not saying you're boring. I didn't say that you're boring.
11:41Okay, okay. This is good. But I think we have to bottle this feeling between you two in a way
11:48that, well, it's not this.
11:50Look, relationships are supposed to be a safe place. And Morgan, perhaps if you're looking to be challenged, finding outlets
11:59outside the relationship might allow for more patience and warmth with Max, which is a different kind of excitement.
12:09I just want you to look at me the way that you used to look at me.
12:14I want that, too.
12:16Okay, when she ended things after high school and moved to New York, I thought, wow, what a fucking bitch,
12:21right?
12:22But also, like, there goes the most interesting person I've ever met.
12:30You're saying it like it's like I did something special. New York is like a 30-minute train ride from
12:36here.
12:36Okay, but people don't just do that, Morgan. They don't just, like, oh, leave home to go pursue their dreams.
12:44Yeah. Then I, like, didn't book any jobs and I ran out of money, so...
12:47Who fucking cares? Who cares? You have all these worldly experiences. I want to experience something worldly with you.
12:54That isn't just my mom taking us to Cabo. You should go to fucking Burning Man.
13:00I'm not going to go to Burning Man, but I get what you're saying, you know? Like, I understand. I'm
13:05so sorry.
13:05I'm just going to stop up for one second. I just have to take something, but I'll be... I'm really
13:08sobering.
13:10I think you both want the same thing.
13:16What is up with you?
13:19What do you mean?
13:20Uh, I don't know. Something is off.
13:23You haven't complained once. You're borderline pleasant.
13:25I'm having a nice day, okay?
13:28And realize that there's no point in making our situation any worse than it already is.
13:33We don't actually know if these people are criminals.
13:35I mean, you know, I don't know. They could just be overextended and needing a few extra hands.
13:43We are driving to pick up a stranger from prison. Are you okay?
13:47I'm leaning into joy today, Morgan. I'm trying to have a nice, happy, meaningful life today.
13:54You can just find it demeaning, though, that they send us on these little gopher errands.
13:58It's like we're not capable of more than that.
14:00We don't want them thinking we're capable of more than that, Morgan. Why would we want that?
14:03I don't know. I just feel like it's like if you're gonna send me to the strip club, put me
14:06on the pole.
14:07You know what I'm saying?
14:08I've never had that thought.
14:09And what even is a medium security prison? Like, what do you even have to do to be mediumly secured?
14:13I don't care.
14:14It's a pretty organized system.
14:18Pop the trunk.
14:20Oh.
14:23Strict here.
14:27Do you have anything in your trunk?
14:28No.
14:30I'll do it.
14:31No.
14:33Ma'am, are you aware that you have six cases of four loco in the trunk of your car?
14:39No.
14:40What?
14:40Fucking marks.
14:42Who drinks that?
14:43I wasn't aware of that.
14:45I can't let you in with drinks in your trunk.
14:46Come on.
14:47I'm gonna have to walk then.
14:48I'll go.
14:49I'll do it.
14:50As much as I'd love to send you into a prison, Reverend Dardana was supposed to be picking up an
14:55incarcerated parishioner he's been counseling.
14:57Okay?
14:57So.
14:58Sucks.
14:59Say a prayer.
15:03Would you like to go around?
15:05Hi, I'm here to take your apartment and offer whatever rehabilitative, rehabilitative services.
15:13Okay.
15:21Hello.
15:23Are you, are you Andre?
15:26Who the fuck are you?
15:27Oh, I'm, um, I'm Pastor Dardano.
15:29I'm here to take you to your new apartment, um, and offer whatever rehabilitative services you would like for your
15:37re-entry.
15:38Um, do you have everything you need, or?
15:41Where is the one?
15:42Oh, right.
15:43Um, I haven't thought it would be better if I came to pick you up, just optically speaking.
15:49Why are you whispering?
15:49I don't know.
15:50I'm not quite sure why I'm whispering, actually.
15:53Where is the car?
15:54Oh, okay, so we couldn't park in here, so it's just a quick 10 to 15 this way, if you
15:59wanna come with me.
16:00Come with me.
16:01Okay.
16:07You must be relieved to be out of prison.
16:09I don't wanna talk!
16:13Linda.
16:14Oh, hi.
16:15Hi.
16:16Hi, Annette.
16:17Hi.
16:17You look fabulous.
16:19Oh, thank you, Annette.
16:21All right, everyone, settle down, please.
16:23Settle down.
16:25First of all, I would like to thank the both of you for being here today.
16:29Well, thank you.
16:29Of course, glad to be here.
16:30For having us both.
16:31Glad to be here.
16:32All right, well, let me begin with an easy question to get things rolling.
16:37What distinguishes each of you from the other candidate?
16:41Linda, we'll start with you.
16:43Thank you for the question, Jane.
16:45I know this town like the back of my hand.
16:48I was born here.
16:50My family has owned Morelli's Hardware for over 70 years.
16:54I raised my kids here, and I have watched this town grow,
16:59which is why I have a strong desire to preserve the Glenview that I know and love
17:04and to restore a sense of safety and security that has long been associated with it.
17:11Just last week, my son was assaulted on the street for being gay.
17:15That is not the town that I know.
17:18That is not the town that I love.
17:20Now more than ever, we need a leader who has seen this town at its very best.
17:27Tom, same question.
17:28Well, first off, I just want to say that I find it heartbreaking
17:31that Linda Morelli doesn't seem to like this town very much.
17:36I happen to love this town.
17:37Always have, always will.
17:39That's not what I said.
17:41Sorry, Linda.
17:41It is Tom's time to answer the question.
17:43You will get a rebuttal.
17:44Well, let me just say, I am in agreement.
17:49Hate crimes have no place in this town.
17:51Well.
17:52Well.
17:52Duh.
17:53But do we really want someone's mom dictating policy based on what happens to her kids?
17:58I mean, if her daughter gets a flat tire, will we suddenly have to repave every road?
18:03Sorry, Tom, but is that your answer to what distinguishes you as a candidate?
18:10I don't mind it because it's easy to critique somebody else's answer when you haven't answered one.
18:17Wow.
18:18See, I didn't know you were running for the job of moderator.
18:20Huh?
18:21Watch out, Jay.
18:22Okay.
18:23Well, as the owner of 38 Jimmy John's, my employee count is ten times the size of this city council,
18:30and likely twenty times the size of whoever Linda's got on staff at her little shop.
18:35I know how to manage people and I know how to manage places.
18:39My opponent, who seems very nice, feels better suited to run our neighborhood watch programs
18:45than lead our entire municipal government.
18:47Tom, better be careful there because you're starting to sound a little bit misogynistic.
18:51Uh-oh.
18:52There it is.
18:53I've awoken the beast.
18:55We get it, Linda.
18:56You're tough.
18:57I'm starting to understand how you managed to scare off the chief of police.
19:02Excuse me?
19:23Morgan, he's smoking in the car.
19:24Put the window down.
19:25Yeah.
19:30Jesus.
19:32He put the window back up.
19:34What is going on in here?
19:38So, um, what were you in for?
19:41It's better you don't know.
19:42Okay.
19:43Okay.
19:43That's actually the scariest answer you could have possibly given me.
19:47Oh, God.
19:49Yeah, we have him.
19:50We're driving to the apartment.
19:52No, you're not.
19:52What do you mean, no, we're not?
19:54I don't want to speak your phone.
19:55What do you mean?
19:56What do you mean, no, we're not?
19:57We're in the car with him.
19:59You're fucking nuts!
20:00The apartment won't be ready until tomorrow because someone asked to have it fucking repainted.
20:06Don't put this on me.
20:07Okay.
20:07Well, how long does it take to paint an apartment?
20:10He says two coats.
20:11There's no point in only doing one.
20:13I've slept in wars.
20:14He won't let me in.
20:15The walls are wet.
20:16The room stinks.
20:18Who the fuck asked for paint?
20:19I'm not in, I don't, I don't know.
20:21Hi, Mom.
20:21Okay.
20:21Morgan, what are you doing on Nicholas's phone?
20:24Put me on speaker.
20:25Oh, I don't, please.
20:26I don't think that actually works right now.
20:27No, Morgan, this is a crisis.
20:29I need to talk to both of you.
20:31What is she saying?
20:32Okay.
20:32The debate was a disaster.
20:34We're having an emergency family dinner at the house.
20:36Hello?
20:37Who the fuck is that?
20:38Who else is in the car?
20:39Nobody else is in the car.
20:41Someone else is in the car.
20:41Someone else is in the car?
20:42Where are you?
20:43Ma, tonight doesn't really work for me because I promised Max we were going to have a romantic night in.
20:47Oh, okay.
20:48Well, Nikki, be here in 30 minutes.
20:50Who is this woman?
20:50I hear someone's voice.
20:52Who the fuck is talking right now?
20:53Nobody's talking.
20:54Mom, I'm with a parishioner, okay?
20:56I don't think I'm going to be home, so I don't think I can make dinner.
20:59No!
21:00Nicholas!
21:00This is non-negotiable.
21:02I got ricked over the coals by a sandwich king.
21:06At the debate, I need some help here.
21:09If you need to bring your friend to dinner, bring your friend to dinner.
21:11He's not my friend, but be here by seven.
21:14You know how I hate using the warming drawer.
21:16Lady!
21:17Is that your friend telling him I'm making chicken cacciatore?
21:20I don't know what the fuck is going on, but someone take me to fucking off a speakerboard
21:24right now!
21:25He can't be an animal.
21:27It was humiliating.
21:29What made him say that?
21:30Were you yelling at him?
21:31Was I yelling at him?
21:33No!
21:33I was defending myself, and on top of that, he added absolutely nothing of value except that
21:39his grandfather apparently invented the French dip.
21:43But the most disturbing part of it was people seemed to side with him.
21:47Mmm.
21:48This is the most delicious chicken I've ever had.
21:52Every night I've dreamed of a meal like this.
21:54Mmm.
21:56I think he's crying.
21:58Well, thank you very much.
22:00It was my mother's recipe.
22:01She was an excellent cook and a notoriously difficult woman, which apparently is not a recessive
22:06gene in this family.
22:08Mom, nobody thinks that.
22:10Okay?
22:10You are being way too hard on yourself.
22:13Nikki brought it up this morning.
22:14I never thought you were turning into your mother.
22:15Can you make my life easier for just one fucking day?
22:19He's scared.
22:21Excuse me?
22:23Liz Donaldson.
22:24A strong man would not be intimidated by a strong woman.
22:29Now you know his weakness.
22:33Weakness always exposes itself.
22:38Interesting.
22:39Okay.
22:40If I'd like to know more, Nikki, grab another bottle of wine.
22:43Okay.
22:43Okay.
22:44Oh.
22:44Yeah.
22:45Um.
22:47So.
22:49More chicken?
22:50Mm-hmm.
22:51Okay.
22:53Mm-hmm.
22:54Mm-hmm.
22:55You know, you never actually said how you know my son.
22:58He picked me up from prison.
23:01Aha.
23:02That's fabulous.
23:04I...
23:05Which one?
23:14Good day?
23:17Yeah, actually.
23:18I doordashed from that chicken spot we went to on our first date back in high school.
23:22Didn't ask you.
23:23Just did it.
23:25Wait.
23:25I thought they shut down because of a health code violation.
23:28Yeah.
23:29New management.
23:30Fuck.
23:31Yes.
23:32Yeah.
23:33And I lit some candles.
23:34One of them turns into body oil.
23:36I don't remember which.
23:38Um, is it weird to eat chicken with your dick out?
23:41It's just something you're gonna have to deal with.
23:51I see you sprung for the best of.
23:54Mm-hmm.
23:54It's very generous.
23:55And two skinny marks.
23:57Mm-hmm.
23:59Ah!
24:00Ah!
24:01Rude bitches don't get chicken nuggets.
24:03Look again.
24:05Okay.
24:20Yeah, I'll give you this one.
24:22Mm-hmm.
24:27That was a shocking story.
24:30Clearly, you were framed.
24:32It was a setup.
24:33This is the problem with the judicial system.
24:36Back in my country, I was a surgeon.
24:39Oh, I want to apologize to you on behalf of America.
24:43I am truly sorry for what we have put you through.
24:47I had a cab driver just a week ago who was a dermatologist in Mumbai.
24:53And thanks to that wonderful man, I now have a checkup on the mall on my neck.
24:58Okay, um, I should go.
25:00Mm.
25:01Yeah.
25:01Yeah, Kevin's aura ring says he hasn't moved in ten hours.
25:05Uh-oh.
25:06So, um, I guess we will just discuss post-debate strategy tomorrow then.
25:13Yes, strategy in the morning.
25:15Andre had some great ideas.
25:17I appreciate you.
25:18Oh, fabulous.
25:19That's great.
25:20Okay.
25:23Drink some water.
25:24I never noticed how much your skin glows.
25:28Jurgens.
25:31Do me a favor.
25:33Do not leave Mom alone with a criminal.
25:35I got him an Airbnb.
25:37She's having a nice time.
25:38I think it's sweet.
25:40I will take him home when they start slurring.
25:41Okay?
25:42Let love in, Natalie.
25:44Okay.
25:45I don't know what this radical optimism is, but I don't like it.
25:48Good night.
25:50Take care of her.
26:05I don't know what that can do.
26:07I don't know what her.
26:09I don't know what it is.
26:09I want to go on.
26:10We'll keep going in on the floor.
26:12See you at the floor now.
26:13At one point.
26:15I want to go.
26:16I can't go to my head.
26:16Where is he?
26:17I know in my head.
26:18No, no.
26:19I can't go.
26:20I can't go.
26:43Oh my god.
26:50What time is it?
26:51Mom is having sex with Andre.
26:53Who?
26:54The man we picked up from prison.
26:57Oh my god.
26:58Okay, okay.
27:00Put the phone up to the wall.
27:01I'm not, you're sick.
27:03That is a sick, sick, I will not do that.
27:06Oh my god, whatever, how's it going?
27:07Is she having fun?
27:10From the sounds of it, he's a very generous lover, yeah.
27:13Well, yeah, that makes sense.
27:15He just got out of prison.
27:16She's probably getting railed up there.
27:18I can't.
27:21Why is Natalie calling me?
27:22What is she doing out?
27:23It's like 12.30.
27:24Doesn't she go to bed at 8?
27:26Can I help you?
27:27Check fraud.
27:28Credit card fraud.
27:29Identity theft.
27:30Forgery.
27:31Importing an illegal flamethrower.
27:34Nikki, tell me that man is out of our house.
27:37Yeah, yeah, I dropped him off hours ago.
27:39So, yeah, he's gone.
27:41Oh my god.
27:42Thank god.
27:43Because honestly, Nikki, that is like the last thing mom needs right now.
27:47And I don't, we're done.
27:49Okay?
27:49It's done, Natalie.
27:50So, go back to bed.
27:52Tell mom I miss her.
27:53Yeah.
27:54Bye.
27:56Hi.
27:57What did she want?
27:58Well, apparently Andre was in prison for importing an illegal flamethrower.
28:02A what?
28:03A flamethrower, Morgan.
28:04Importing an illegal flamethrower.
28:07Whoa.
28:08Is he singing?
28:09That's singing.
28:13He's good.
28:13From here.
28:39R Scripture.
28:41Uh, S-I-S, I-U-D, stay in school, cause it's the best, I-U-D, S-I-S,
28:55stay in school, cause it's the best, I-U-D, S-I-S, stay in school, cause it's the best.
29:05I-U-D, S-I-S, stay in school, cause it's the best, sucking on my titties like you wanna
29:15be, calling me all the time like blondie, check out my Chrissy behind, it's fine, I love the time, like
29:21sex on the beaches, what else is in the teachers of peaches, huh, what?
29:56Fuck the pain away
30:22Fuck the pain away
30:52Fuck the pain away
31:22Fuck the pain away
31:46Fuck the pain away
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