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Short filmTranscript
00:00Tonight, I am playing...
00:02Guess that's State.
00:06It's an island.
00:07Staten Island.
00:08No!
00:09Crabs.
00:10Baltimore.
00:11Baltimore, not a state.
00:13Neither is Staten Island. We learned.
00:14And we all found out together.
00:19From the Nashville Municipal Auditorium,
00:22it's the only comedy show that also happens to be a game show.
00:26The Greatest Average American.
00:30And now, your host,
00:34Neymar Dixie!
00:36Thank you. Thank you very much.
00:40All right. Thank you.
00:42Welcome to our new show where it's not about what you know,
00:46it's about what your fellow average American knows.
00:49Say hello to my buddy and fellow comedian,
00:51Julian McCullough, woman of the audience tonight.
00:53Julian.
00:55Also, my buddy Greg Warren, the announcer for the evening.
00:59All right.
01:00Greg, who do we have playing tonight?
01:02Tonight, Nate, a snowboard champion from Vail, Colorado.
01:06It's Montana.
01:08Yeah.
01:09A business owner and father of five from Florida.
01:12It's Frank.
01:13An elementary school teacher from the Lone Star State of Texas.
01:18It's Abe Gobi!
01:23I just wanted to say it's really, really difficult to be on this stage
01:27and know that Greg Warren is behind me.
01:29Are you a Greg Warren fan?
01:31I am a huge Greg Warren fan.
01:33Are you out of your mind?
01:35Look at his smile.
01:37We found him, Greg. We found him.
01:39How about that, Nate?
01:40I also do comedy.
01:42Julian does comedy.
01:44Yeah.
01:45All right.
01:46We're gonna play through two elimination rounds
01:48with one person going home after each one.
01:50Last player standing moves on to our bonus round
01:53where you could win the average American salary of $67,920.
01:59Yeah.
02:01All right.
02:01In our first round, we asked Americans questions
02:04about how they feel, what they like, and how they live.
02:07I'll reveal the questions, and all you have to do
02:09is choose the response said by the majority of Americans.
02:13These first two questions are worth one point each.
02:15All right. Here's your first question.
02:18We asked 100 average American office workers,
02:21which of these fashion choices would be the biggest casual Friday sin?
02:27A tank top, B, jorts.
02:31Oh, no.
02:31C, sweatpants.
02:33D, flip flops.
02:35You have 10 seconds.
02:39You a jorts guy, Greg?
02:41I don't see any sins there, Nate.
02:43Yeah.
02:47All right.
02:49Montana.
02:50Yes.
02:50You wear this stuff for snowboarding?
02:53I, you know, I can't say...
02:55You should do jorts.
02:56That would be...
02:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:58That's probably what's keeping you from the Olympics,
03:00is the jorts.
03:00Honestly, it was definitely the jorts, yeah.
03:03What did you write?
03:04I said a tank top.
03:06Tank top.
03:07Yeah.
03:07I think that's, yeah.
03:08Yeah, I think everybody is.
03:10It's a lot.
03:11Yeah, it's a lot.
03:12I think if you're layering something, maybe,
03:15but just the tank top by itself, what are you doing?
03:18Yeah, I know.
03:19Frank, how about you?
03:20Guy that could wear a tank top, looks like.
03:24Uh...
03:24I said, A, tank top as well.
03:26Yeah.
03:27Yeah.
03:27Yeah.
03:30It's just too casual.
03:31Having a real question to a guy in a tank top.
03:34Absolutely.
03:35It's questionable.
03:36Yeah.
03:37A, Gobi.
03:37I said, D, flip flops.
03:40Yes.
03:40Okay.
03:41Okay.
03:41These are the ones to go with.
03:43I mean, flip flops is a lot.
03:45You see someone's foot.
03:45But it's like you know them different, you know?
03:48Yeah.
03:49It's like people don't really take good care of their feet, you know?
03:52So...
03:52Nah, well, most people don't expect to be showing them.
03:54Uh, all right.
03:55Let's see.
03:56What did the average American say?
04:01Sweatpants.
04:0236% sweatpants.
04:03Tank top, 28%.
04:05That, I don't even...
04:06That's crazy.
04:07All right.
04:08No points on that one.
04:10This one, you're guessing the percentage of people from zero to 100.
04:15Whoever comes closest to the correct answer gets the point.
04:18Ready?
04:20We asked 100 average Americans, is Die Hard a Christmas movie?
04:24What percent said, yes, it is?
04:28You have 10 seconds.
04:29Nate, I always think the, uh, the fifth Die Hard,
04:32It's a Good Day to Die Hard, gets lost in this discussion.
04:35Yeah, that's true.
04:36That's the best film.
04:36That's your favorite.
04:37By far.
04:38Uh, all right.
04:40Have y'all seen Die Hard?
04:41Mm-hmm.
04:42No?
04:43That's okay.
04:44I, I...
04:45I saw Die Hard very late in life.
04:47I wasn't allowed to watch it for quite a while.
04:49Okay.
04:49I was 42 before my parents said,
04:51All right, you can sit down.
04:54Uh, Montana, what did you say?
04:56I said that 70% would say,
04:58Yes, it is a Christmas movie.
05:00It has Christmas in it, I guess.
05:02I've never seen it.
05:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:03Um...
05:04Yeah, it's in Christmas.
05:05Yeah.
05:05All right, yeah.
05:067%, solid answer.
05:07Hey, Gobi.
05:08So, I said 37%.
05:10Oh, my God.
05:12I like that we're going...
05:13Okay, okay.
05:13This is good.
05:14So, I just know, when it comes to Christmas movies,
05:16people are very, like, serious about Christmas time.
05:19Yeah.
05:19So, with that, I would say 37%.
05:21Yeah.
05:21All right.
05:22Frank?
05:23I said 76%.
05:2676%.
05:26Wow.
05:27Yes.
05:27Yes.
05:27Picked a direction, and you went towards it.
05:30Yes.
05:31This debate is up every year at Christmas.
05:33Yeah.
05:33And more and more people are going to be like,
05:35Yeah, Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
05:36They just commit and go all in.
05:37It wasn't intended that way.
05:38I think it's pretty high.
05:39All right.
05:40Well, I'm looking forward to see what did the average American say?
05:4662%.
05:48Montana was close to one point.
05:51Whoo!
05:52This next one is worth two points.
05:54So, it's a good one to get.
05:58We asked 100 average American barbers,
06:00Who's got the most iconic facial hair?
06:04A, Abe Lincoln.
06:06B, Steve Harvey.
06:08C, Wolverine.
06:10D, Colonel Sanders.
06:13All right.
06:14You have 10 seconds.
06:16Greg, you went to high school with all these guys.
06:20Yes, I went to high school with Abe Lincoln, Nick.
06:23We were on the wrestling team together.
06:25Oh, that's...
06:26All right.
06:27Frank, do you have good facial hair?
06:29Do you like one of these?
06:30I do like one of them.
06:32I went with A, Abe Lincoln.
06:34Yeah.
06:34Felt it.
06:35Felt it.
06:36He's similar.
06:37Yeah.
06:38Fellow beard man.
06:39Fellow beard man.
06:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:40It's good.
06:42I put B, Steve Harvey.
06:44Yes.
06:45Okay.
06:46It's become very classic.
06:48Everybody knows it.
06:49Montana?
06:50I also said B, Steve Harvey.
06:52Well, there we go.
06:55I feel like I have yet to meet a man who doesn't appreciate a good mustache.
07:00Yeah.
07:01Women don't love it.
07:02Men love it.
07:02Yeah.
07:03Did anybody think about Colonel Sanders?
07:05It's not a great picture.
07:07Uh...
07:07Looks like they caught him off guard.
07:09Yeah.
07:11All right.
07:12This is worth two points.
07:13What did the average American say?
07:17Abe Lincoln.
07:18Wow.
07:18Frank.
07:19Yes.
07:20Yes.
07:22All right.
07:23It all comes down to this.
07:24Two of you are staying.
07:25One of you are going home.
07:26This one is worth a whopping three points.
07:30Wow.
07:30So, anybody's a gay.
07:32Last question.
07:36We asked 100 average American older brothers.
07:39Which of these would be the worst to have as a younger sibling?
07:44A, leprechaun.
07:46B, ogre.
07:48C, werewolf.
07:50D, elf on a shelf.
07:52You have ten seconds.
07:55Oh.
07:56What?
07:59Oh, man.
08:00Oh, man.
08:05Yeah.
08:06Lot of discussion in the crowd on this one, by the way.
08:09Yeah.
08:09Yeah.
08:10Oh, boy.
08:10Let me tell you how hard it was for me not to say augury.
08:13Yeah.
08:14I was...
08:16That one, uh...
08:17I was sweating for you on that one.
08:19I mean, why would you spell it like that?
08:23All right.
08:24Frank, are you an older brother?
08:25I am an older brother.
08:26All right.
08:27Me, too.
08:27This came really easy to me.
08:28Yes.
08:28I answered C, werewolf.
08:31That would be tough.
08:32Easy, easy.
08:33Is it because you look like a werewolf?
08:36Yes.
08:37I feel like he starts as a regular person, and while I'm in bed at night, he turns into
08:43a werewolf and comes attack me.
08:45Yeah.
08:45You're already fighting your younger siblings anyway.
08:47It's not fair if they're a werewolf as well.
08:50Unfair advantage.
08:51Montana?
08:52I said B, ogre.
08:54Yeah.
08:55Family photos would kind of be a nightmare, I'm not gonna lie.
08:58Yeah.
08:58Like, it's just...
08:59That was just...
09:00It just tough all around.
09:00Who wants to be next to him?
09:01Yeah.
09:02You know?
09:02Yeah.
09:03Hey, Gobi?
09:05Um, I think the Elf on the Shelf.
09:08That's a solid answer.
09:10Everything else seems like it has benefits.
09:12Elf on the Shelf, you're seasonal.
09:13Like, what are you doing for us?
09:15Yeah.
09:16And you gotta find him every morning.
09:18He's also a tattletale, Nate.
09:20Yeah, very true.
09:21That's true.
09:21All right.
09:22It all comes down to this.
09:24Okay.
09:25This one's worth three points.
09:26What did the average American older brother say?
09:31Oh!
09:32Wow.
09:34Wow.
09:35Werewolf.
09:37Congratulations, Montana and Frank.
09:39You're moving on.
09:40Unfortunately, Gobi, you're the most below-average American tonight,
09:44but that's all right.
09:45Thanks for playing.
09:46When we come back, the quest to crown the Greatest Average American continues.
09:51Our players have proven their averages, and now it's my turn.
09:55Do not go anywhere.
10:04Welcome back to the Greatest Average American.
10:07Frank and Montana are one step closer to playing for the average American salary of $67,921.
10:16All right.
10:17This next round is all about getting into the mind and body of the original Greatest Average
10:21American himself, and that's myself.
10:25Tonight's challenge is words that start with the letter M.
10:31Okay.
10:32Okay.
10:32I will have 60 seconds to name words in the English language that start with the letter M.
10:37And to figure out who's going to the bonus round, you two are predicting how well I'm going
10:42to do.
10:44Yeah.
10:45All right.
10:46Here's how this works.
10:47One of you will start off by guessing exactly how many of them I can say in 60 seconds.
10:52The other will then write over if you think I will name more than that, or under if you
10:56think I'll name less.
10:57If you're right, you're headed to the bonus round.
10:59If not, the other players move on.
11:01All right.
11:02These are words as appearing in Merriam's Webster's Dictionary.
11:08Frank, you scored the highest in the first round, so you get to decide.
11:12Would you like to guess the number I will say in 60 seconds or the over or under?
11:16I'm going to take the over or under.
11:17Okay.
11:18Montana, how many words that start with M do you think I can name in 60 seconds?
11:25Write down your guess and show Frank, but I don't want to see it.
11:32But I won't know.
11:36All right.
11:37Frank, do you think I will go over that number or under?
11:41Write down your guess and do not show anyone, though.
11:43No one sees that.
11:45All right.
11:46Answers are in.
11:47It's my time to shine.
11:48Greg, a little help.
11:49Good luck, Nate.
11:50Oh, man.
11:53You got this.
11:5560 seconds on the clock, please.
12:01On your mark, get set.
12:09Nate!
12:09Mark, math, is Montana.
12:16That's not, you know.
12:18Yeah, I just wanted to see my boundaries.
12:20Magical, mash, mashed potatoes.
12:2545 seconds, Nate.
12:27Uh, uh, master.
12:30Monster.
12:32Uh, uh, magic.
12:37Uh, most.
12:4030 seconds, Nate.
12:41You have eight.
12:42Uh, mansion.
12:44No.
12:45Uh, uh, micro.
12:51Microscope.
12:54Uh, minefield.
12:5615 seconds, Nate.
12:57You're on fire.
13:00My, uh, mine?
13:03My?
13:05My?
13:07Uh.
13:07Three seconds.
13:08Moneyball.
13:10Uh, all right.
13:11Time!
13:11I'm sorry.
13:12I don't know.
13:13I'm sorry.
13:14There's, uh, certain family member of yours that might be disappointed.
13:17Mom?
13:20Mom?
13:20Yeah.
13:21That's tough.
13:22We gotta do it again.
13:23Yeah.
13:26Man!
13:27Aw.
13:29Man.
13:30You didn't see minefield coming, did you?
13:32I didn't, man.
13:33Yeah.
13:33You should've got six for that.
13:35Well, how many did I get?
13:36You got 15, man.
13:37Nice job.
13:38All right.
13:38I have no idea if that's good or bad, you know.
13:40Best I've seen.
13:41The best, yeah.
13:43It's the moment of truth moment.
13:45Ugh.
13:47Uh, Montana, how many did you think I could do?
13:50I thought you would guess 18.
13:52All right.
13:53All right.
13:54That's a pretty solid number.
13:57Frank, if you guessed under, you win.
13:59But if it's over, then you are going home.
14:02What did you say?
14:05Over!
14:07I know.
14:07I'm so sorry.
14:08That means Montana is moving on.
14:12Congratulations.
14:13You are the greatest average American.
14:16You deserve a little something.
14:17We're gonna give you $10,000.
14:19All right?
14:20But, Ken, she turned it into $67,920.
14:24Find out in the bonus round when we return to the greatest average American.
14:39Welcome back.
14:40I'm here with our winner, Montana.
14:44She has earned the coveted title of the greatest average American.
14:48And with that comes $10,000.
14:50Very nice.
14:52That's yours to keep no matter what, all right?
14:54Now you have a chance to increase your winnings to the average American salary of $67,920.
15:01Let's go!
15:02But I'm gonna put a little extra in there to help cover all your taxes.
15:06So there you go.
15:09All right.
15:09What will you do if you win?
15:11Since I've retired from snowboarding, I have been really focusing on my writing.
15:15I am a sci-fi fantasy writer primarily, so winning this money would give me the time
15:20and the resources to pursue publishing my book.
15:22Oh, yeah.
15:23Congratulations.
15:24Yes, it will.
15:26All right.
15:27Well, you showed.
15:29You can think like the average American, but there's one more group of average Americans
15:32you need to face, and that's our audience.
15:34You see them?
15:37Before the show, we asked them all seven questions.
15:39You have 30 seconds to correctly predict how the majority of them answered.
15:44Get five right, and your go home is $67,920.
15:49All right.
15:51Let's do it.
15:52But beware, because it's three strikes and you're out.
15:54All right?
15:56Audience, it's your answers that are helping, so I think you should have some skin in the
15:59game.
16:00If Montana wins, you're all going home with one of my favorite things.
16:04Julian, what are they going home with?
16:06Hidden Valley Ranch!
16:07There we go.
16:10It is good.
16:12All right.
16:13You ready?
16:14I'm ready.
16:15All right.
16:1530 seconds on the clock.
16:17Here we go.
16:20Does this audience usually arrive late or arrive early?
16:24Early.
16:26Do they keep an umbrella in their car?
16:28Yes.
16:29Do they iron their shirts?
16:31Yes.
16:33Do they prefer dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
16:35Milk chocolate.
16:37Do they currently have more than 100 unread emails?
16:40Yes.
16:42Have they ever snuck into a movie without paying?
16:45No.
16:47Do they usually take the stairs or the elevator?
16:49Elevator.
16:50All right.
16:50There you go.
16:51All right.
16:52That's a good answer.
16:53All right.
16:54We need five of them.
16:55All right.
16:56I'm going to start with the first one.
16:58All right.
16:58Does this audience usually arrive late or arrive early?
17:01You said early.
17:03Yep.
17:03Did the audience also say early?
17:06There we go.
17:07Whoo!
17:08There we go.
17:09We got one down.
17:10Let's go.
17:12That feels good.
17:14Do they keep an umbrella in their car?
17:17You said yes.
17:18You keep an umbrella in your car?
17:20No.
17:22Audience, did you say yes?
17:25There we go.
17:26You know the audience.
17:28All right.
17:28You know the audience.
17:30Does the audience iron their shirts?
17:34Audience, did you say yes?
17:38No!
17:38Oh!
17:39No.
17:40All right.
17:40First strike.
17:41That's okay.
17:42That's all right.
17:43One strike.
17:43I guess they steam it or something.
17:45I don't know what they do.
17:46Are they all wrinkled?
17:47Yeah.
17:48Maybe they're just all wrinkled.
17:50All right.
17:50All right.
17:51They got an umbrella, but don't iron the shirts.
17:55Do they prefer dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
17:59You said milk chocolate.
18:00Yep.
18:00I like milk chocolate.
18:01I would agree.
18:02Does the audience agree?
18:04Do they like milk chocolate?
18:06Yes!
18:07All right.
18:07Let's go.
18:08That's good.
18:09It's good.
18:10They like milk chocolate.
18:12All right.
18:13I'm feeling good about that.
18:14They're back to normal.
18:15All right.
18:15We're doing good right now.
18:17We got three right.
18:18One strike.
18:19Okay.
18:19Two strikes, bad.
18:21The two right, good.
18:23Yeah.
18:24I probably didn't have to say it like that.
18:27Do they currently have more than 100 unread emails?
18:31Are you a big unread email person?
18:33I just want to know who has time to go through every single promotional email that you get.
18:37Like, I do, I, there's no way.
18:40I know.
18:40I'll tell you who.
18:41This guy.
18:42Okay.
18:42Yeah.
18:43All right.
18:43I really have a problem seeing the, my wife, opposite.
18:47Oh.
18:48It says 5,000 or something.
18:505,000?
18:50Drives me nuts.
18:51I can't even look at her phone.
18:53Hopefully everyone in the audience is like your wife.
18:55Yes.
18:56Yes.
18:56Do they currently have more than 100 unread emails?
19:00You said yes.
19:01I did.
19:01Audience, did you say yes?
19:05Wow.
19:06Okay.
19:07All right.
19:07They look.
19:08Maybe 100 is high.
19:10I mean, I...
19:10100 is high.
19:11It is high.
19:12It's a lot.
19:12But I know what you mean.
19:14I know the person, you know.
19:15Yeah, that's fair.
19:16All right.
19:16Two strikes.
19:17These last two are, these are big.
19:20These are big ones.
19:21You need both of them.
19:22All right.
19:22To win the $67,920.
19:25All right.
19:26Let's do it.
19:27Come on.
19:28Two more.
19:29All right.
19:30Let's hope they're honest on this one.
19:31Yeah.
19:32Have they ever snuck into a movie without paying?
19:35You said no.
19:36No.
19:36So we're hoping...
19:37I mean, they're an honest crowd.
19:38Yeah.
19:38Honest crowd.
19:39Good people.
19:39Have you snuck into a movie?
19:40I have not.
19:41No.
19:41Really?
19:42As a snowboarder?
19:43Listen.
19:44All right.
19:44Is that just...
19:45I'm judging you.
19:46That was wrong.
19:46All right.
19:48Yes.
19:49I'm sure there are snowboarders.
19:49That is one of the problems we always think of snowboarders.
19:52We go, have they ever paid for a movie ticket in their life?
19:54Of course not.
19:54You go, of course not.
19:56No.
19:56All right.
19:57Has this audience ever snuck into a movie without paying?
20:00You said no.
20:01You need this answer to also be no.
20:04Audience, what did you say?
20:07Yeah.
20:08All right.
20:09Let's do it.
20:09What a great crowd.
20:11What a great crowd.
20:12These are good people.
20:13These are good people.
20:14All right.
20:15All right.
20:15Good people.
20:15This all comes down to this one.
20:17I know.
20:18Yeah.
20:19All right.
20:20You need this to be right.
20:22Do they usually take the stairs or the elevator?
20:25What do you do?
20:26It depends on the height of the building.
20:28Yeah.
20:28But for...
20:29If it's over two stories, I mean, I'm gonna take the elevator.
20:32Elevator.
20:32Yeah.
20:32And you're an athlete.
20:33I know.
20:34Elevators, they're so nice.
20:35Yeah.
20:35Sometimes they've got fun music inside.
20:37That's true.
20:37That's true.
20:38Fun decorations, the art.
20:39I love an elevator.
20:40Yeah.
20:41Yeah.
20:41It's not an experience, honestly.
20:42How do you feel about escalators?
20:44Even better, honestly.
20:46It would've been harder.
20:47That feels like you're doing something.
20:48Right, right.
20:49Yeah.
20:50All right.
20:50It all comes down to this.
20:53Seventh question.
20:54Yeah.
20:54You need this to be right.
20:57$67,920 relies on this answer to the elevator.
21:02I can't wait.
21:04I can't wait.
21:05I can't wait.
21:05Never thought.
21:06Whoo!
21:08Do they usually take the stairs or the elevator?
21:12You said elevator?
21:13Yep.
21:13Audience, what did you say?
21:20Yeah!
21:21Yeah!
21:22Whoo!
21:24$67,920!
21:26$67,920!
21:29$67,920!
21:30$67,920!
21:30$67,920!
21:30Woo!
21:31Congratulations!
21:32Woo!
21:33And, audience, you know what that means?
21:35Everyone gets Hidden Valley Ranch.
21:39When we come back, three new players will battle out to see who's the most above average.
21:45Don't go anywhere.
21:55Welcome back to the greatest average American.
21:58Our pursuit of average continues with three new contestants.
22:01Rick?
22:01A recently engaged attorney from the Keystone State of Pennsylvania, it's Alex.
22:06Whoo!
22:09There we go.
22:10A marketing coordinator and mom from Mississippi, it's Adrian!
22:14There you go, Adrian.
22:16And an Army veteran from right here in Tennessee, it's Carrie!
22:22All right, good luck to you guys.
22:24Let's get to the game.
22:26These first two questions are worth one point each.
22:28Let's start.
22:30First question.
22:32We asked 100 average happily married Americans.
22:36Which of these would make your happy marriage even happier?
22:41A, bigger closets.
22:43B, bigger bathroom.
22:45C, bigger kitchen.
22:47D, bigger bed.
22:50All right, you have 10 seconds.
22:52What did the average American say?
22:55A lot of happy.
22:57I'll just take a wife.
22:59Yeah.
23:00That's what you start with.
23:01Yeah.
23:04All right, you got a fiancée, you got a wife on the way.
23:07We do.
23:08I don't know.
23:09She's coming.
23:10Are you supposed to say it like that?
23:11I don't know.
23:12It didn't sound right.
23:13It didn't sound right.
23:15But it's kind of true.
23:17Let's just hope she's healthy.
23:18Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:20Yeah.
23:22Do you have an answer which one you would?
23:24I do.
23:24I said B, bigger bathroom.
23:26Yeah, yeah.
23:27So my fiancée and I just moved to a new apartment.
23:30Yeah.
23:30And our old apartment had huge bathrooms, and we had all this space for activities, and
23:36I could shower, and she could brush her teeth.
23:37Not as big a bathroom.
23:39She already wants to kill me.
23:40No more activities.
23:41Right, yeah.
23:42Yeah, yeah.
23:44All right, Adrienne.
23:46Okay, I'm going with bigger bathroom as well.
23:49It's a good answer.
23:50I mean, when you have kids, it's a lot going on.
23:54I'm brushing my teeth, I'm having to spit over his head, I got hair products here and
23:58there.
23:58Your bathroom becomes their bathroom.
23:59Yes, I'm going with that.
24:01Carrie?
24:01Well, I went against the green, and I said A, bigger closet.
24:06All right.
24:08Because I need space.
24:10I got a lot of clothes, and most people I know need bigger closets for all their shoes
24:14and clothes and bags and everything.
24:16And bigger bed, eh, I like to cuddle.
24:19Especially in the cold, it gets cold.
24:22Absolutely.
24:23What did the average happily married American say?
24:28Yeah!
24:29Bigger bathroom.
24:30Alex, one point.
24:31Adrian, one point.
24:32Bigger closet, 13%.
24:33It was on down there.
24:34These people don't know what they're talking about.
24:36No!
24:37All right.
24:38Next question, please.
24:42We asked 100 average Americans when you were a kid, which snack were you most excited
24:46to find in your lunchbox?
24:49A, fruit roll-ups, B, Cheetos, C, Ho-Hos, D, Teddy Grahams.
24:57Ten seconds.
25:09All right.
25:11Adrian, do you have a favorite snack?
25:12Your kids?
25:13I do.
25:13Oh, yes.
25:14I personally would choose the fruit roll-ups, but that's not what I chose.
25:18I chose Ho-Hos, C, Ho-Hos.
25:21Yeah.
25:21A little cake action.
25:23It feels like a dessert.
25:24Yeah.
25:25That's what I'm going with.
25:26Carrie?
25:26I chose A, fruit roll-ups, just because that's what my kids and all their friends always chose.
25:34All right.
25:34We're gonna see.
25:35Alex.
25:36So, I agree.
25:37I said A, fruit roll-ups.
25:38Yeah.
25:38I remember when I was a kid having to run an entire marketing campaign to get my parents
25:43to allow me to have fruit roll-ups.
25:44Yes.
25:45Cheetos, I was always pretty disappointed because it would get all over my fingers.
25:48I'd have to go to the bathroom.
25:49It's a pain.
25:50I just think fruit roll-ups is like every kid's dream.
25:52Yeah, yeah.
25:53Uh, what did the average American say?
25:57Oh!
25:59Adrian.
26:01All right.
26:02This next one is worth two points.
26:03This one's a little different.
26:04You're guessing the percentage of people from zero to 100.
26:09Whoever comes closest to the correct answer gets the two points.
26:13Let's see the question.
26:15We asked 100 average Americans, this handsome man served as the second president of the United States.
26:23What's his last name?
26:25What percent got it right?
26:27Ten seconds.
26:29How many people do you think got that right?
26:33I know them, Greg, but why don't you say who it is?
26:35That's John Adams.
26:36Oh, yeah.
26:37That's right.
26:39All right.
26:41So it's John Adams, obviously.
26:44Uh, did y'all know who it was?
26:47I did.
26:48Yeah, Alex had the gate, bud.
26:49I prepared.
26:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:51Studied up on Adams.
26:52I love it.
26:52I love it.
26:52All right, Alex, what'd you say?
26:54Well, I said 34%.
26:55Yeah.
26:56Because you're honest.
26:57You're being honest.
26:58Look.
26:59Look, I know John Adams.
27:00I know you know John Adams.
27:02Obviously.
27:02I don't think the average American was paying attention in history class.
27:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:06Adrian.
27:07Okay.
27:08I went with 55%.
27:10Okay.
27:11Yeah.
27:11You're not one of the 55%.
27:13Yeah.
27:14I'm not a part of that.
27:14I might or might not have been one of the 55%.
27:17I know.
27:17Yeah.
27:18Carrie?
27:19I said 30%, just because I don't think many people really studied that much in history
27:25and know their presidents.
27:28What did the average American say?
27:3443%.
27:35Yeah.
27:35Alex was closest.
27:37Come on.
27:37Come on.
27:38All right.
27:39Adrian, two points.
27:40Alex, three points.
27:42Carrie, you're still in it, all right?
27:43Yeah.
27:44Because this last question is worth a whopping three points.
27:48Whoo!
27:48It's anybody's game.
27:50Anybody's game.
27:52Anybody's game.
27:52All right.
27:53Final question.
27:55We asked 100 average American commuters, if you ditched your car, which of these things
28:01would be the most fun to ride to work instead?
28:05A, roller coaster, B, giant hamster ball, C, zip line, D, dragon.
28:15You have 10 seconds.
28:18Is this how you got to school?
28:20I'd like to ride a giant hamster.
28:23Should've been up there.
28:24Should've been up there.
28:25Should've been up there.
28:26All right.
28:27This is it.
28:28Let's start with Alex.
28:29All right.
28:29So I said D, dragon.
28:30Yeah.
28:32Everybody agrees.
28:33Yeah.
28:34I don't really think it's close.
28:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:36Carrie?
28:37I would take any of those answers, but I said C, zip line.
28:41Yeah.
28:42Okay.
28:43Adrian?
28:44Okay.
28:45I'm going with Carrie.
28:46Zip line.
28:47All right.
28:48Yes, yes.
28:49This is interesting.
28:50I mean, what if you're in a very popular city and the traffic is terrible?
28:54I can just fly right on over and get a little wind in my weave.
28:57And yeah, it's a good time.
28:59All right.
29:00Carrie, you need this to be zip line to stay alive.
29:04What did the average American say?
29:08Zip line.
29:09Wow.
29:10Wow.
29:12Adrian, you're going on.
29:13We do have a tie with Alex and Carrie.
29:15To break it, I'm going to ask one last question.
29:18It's a percentage question.
29:20Whichever player gets closest to the correct answer will be moving on.
29:24Here we go.
29:26We asked 100 average Americans in their 20s.
29:29Have you ever written a check?
29:32What percent said yes?
29:3510 seconds.
29:39Greg, you're still pretty check heavy, right?
29:41It's all I do.
29:42It's all I do.
29:43Yeah.
29:46All right.
29:47Alex, what percentage did you say?
29:49I said 28%.
29:5028%.
29:51Carrie?
29:52I was really close to Alex there.
29:55I said 25%, one out of four.
29:57All right.
29:58It makes it fun.
29:59Yeah.
30:00Whoever gets this is moving on to the next round.
30:03Let's see.
30:04What percentage did the average American say?
30:1082%.
30:11Alex moves on.
30:13Alex.
30:15Unfortunately, Carrie, you're the most below average tonight and have been eliminated.
30:20Thank you for playing, though.
30:21It was wonderful to have you.
30:22When The Greatest Average American returns, we're tested by averageness in geography.
30:28Do not go anywhere.
30:30Go!
30:37Welcome back to The Greatest Average American.
30:40Adrian and Alex are one step closer to playing for the average American salary of $67,920.
30:48Whoo!
30:48Yeah!
30:50Give me that!
30:51This next round is all about getting into the mind and body of the original Greatest Average American himself.
30:58And, uh, that's myself.
30:59Whoo!
31:02Tonight, I am playing...
31:06Guess That State.
31:09All right.
31:10I'll be standing in front of a map of this great country, America.
31:14As different states highlight behind me, Julian will give me clues to Guess That State
31:20with one big rule.
31:21He cannot use city names as clues.
31:25And to figure out who's going to the bonus round, you two are predicting how I'm going to do.
31:30Here's how this works.
31:31One of you will start off by guessing exactly how many states I can identify in 90 seconds.
31:36The other will then write over if you think I will go more than that, or under if you think
31:41I will go less.
31:42Alex, how many of America's states do you think I can identify in 90 seconds?
31:51Alex, Nate has been to all the states. He thinks there are 53.
32:02Good to go. All right. Adrian, you think I will go over that number or under?
32:07Write yours down, but do not say anything or show anybody.
32:13All right. Answers are in, Julian.
32:15Yes.
32:16Come on up.
32:17All right.
32:20Greg, a little help to get us started.
32:23Let's put 90 seconds on the board.
32:26Good luck, Nate.
32:28Good luck, Julian.
32:29I'm so nervous.
32:31On your mark.
32:33Get set.
32:34Nate!
32:36Okay, you're from there.
32:38Tennessee.
32:38All right.
32:40You can't go further left.
32:42California.
32:43Yes.
32:44It's the bottom right one that's humid.
32:47Florida.
32:48Yeah.
32:49It's the top one near Canada.
32:51It's got a lot of lakes.
32:52Maine.
32:53The big lakes.
32:53The big lakes.
32:54Michigan.
32:54Yes.
32:56It's potatoes.
32:58Idaho.
32:58Yes.
33:00Where I'm from.
33:01Pennsylvania.
33:02Whoops.
33:03Where I live now.
33:04New York.
33:05All right.
33:07Big band is named after them.
33:09Southern state.
33:09Sweet home.
33:10Alabama.
33:11All right.
33:13No one knows anything about this one.
33:15It's right below.
33:15Maine.
33:15New Jersey.
33:17Right below it.
33:18Washington, D.C.
33:19No.
33:19Even less known.
33:22Baltimore.
33:23Pass.
33:24Pass.
33:24Pass.
33:24All right.
33:25Oh.
33:26It's an island.
33:27Staten Island.
33:28No.
33:30Hawaii.
33:31Hawaii.
33:32Yes.
33:32Correct.
33:33Okay.
33:33Oh.
33:34This is where crabs.
33:3730 seconds Nate.
33:3830 seconds.
33:40Massachusetts.
33:41Rhode Island.
33:43No.
33:43Crabs.
33:44There's a harbor.
33:45We've performed there.
33:47Yeah.
33:47It's.
33:47Maine.
33:48Pass.
33:49Oregon.
33:50Nope.
33:50Pass.
33:51Oh.
33:5215 seconds Nate.
33:53Right in the middle.
33:55Kansas.
33:56Yes.
33:57Yeah.
33:58Top left.
33:5910 seconds.
33:59Lot of rain.
34:00Washington.
34:01Yes.
34:025 seconds Nate.
34:03Mount Rushmore.
34:05South Dakota.
34:05Yes.
34:07Time.
34:0911.
34:0911.
34:09We got on a run.
34:11What was the one you were talking about that I did in Maryland?
34:14Yeah.
34:15Yeah.
34:15Oh.
34:16And Delaware was the one that no one knows.
34:17That's a tough one.
34:18Yeah.
34:18Forget about Delaware.
34:20We've been there many times.
34:22Greg, how many did I get?
34:23You got 11 Nate.
34:24It was a good job.
34:26Yeah.
34:2811 of the 53.
34:29Yeah.
34:30Nate, Baltimore, not a state.
34:33Well, neither is Staten Island.
34:35We learned.
34:36And we all found out together.
34:39All right.
34:40Moment of truth.
34:41Alex, how many did you think I could do?
34:44I thought you could do 12.
34:45Whoo!
34:46He almost got it.
34:47He almost got it.
34:47Look at that.
34:48Delaware would have been helpful.
34:50That's unbelievable.
34:51Adrian, if you guessed under, you win.
34:53But if it's over, then you are sadly going home.
34:56What did you say?
34:58I said over.
35:01Oh.
35:02I'm so sorry.
35:04That means Alex is moving on.
35:06Whoo!
35:07Congratulations.
35:09You are the greatest average American.
35:11And you deserve a little something, so how about $10,000?
35:15I'll take it.
35:16There you go.
35:17Yeah.
35:17The candy turned it into $67,920.
35:21Come on!
35:22Find out.
35:23We return to the greatest average American.
35:32Come on!
35:36Welcome back.
35:37I'm here with our winner, Alex.
35:39Yeah!
35:41Whoo!
35:42He has earned the coveted title of the greatest average American.
35:45And with that comes $10,000.
35:47Yeah!
35:48Very solid.
35:49Come on!
35:50That's yours, the key.
35:51No matter what, but you now have a chance to increase your winnings to the average American
35:55salary of $67,920.
35:59Get it!
36:01Yeah!
36:01I'm gonna put a little extra in there to help cover the taxes.
36:04Yeah!
36:05We don't like taxes!
36:07All right.
36:08I don't know if you should have yelled that on TV.
36:11All right.
36:12What will you do if you win that amount?
36:14So, like I said, I'm getting married in about a year, and I want to spruce this wedding
36:19up.
36:20Yeah.
36:20I want a fog machine that makes it look like we're dancing on a cloud.
36:24Oh, yeah.
36:24I want a chocolate fountain where I'm dipping strawberries, bananas, maybe marshmallows in
36:28there.
36:28I'd run that fog machine.
36:30Is that you or her that wants that?
36:31Uh, that's me.
36:32But she actually doesn't even want it.
36:34Yeah, I'd imagine.
36:35All right.
36:36You showed you think like the average American, but there's one more group of average American
36:40gene to face, and that is our audience.
36:42Woo!
36:44Before the show, we asked them seven questions, all right?
36:47You have 30 seconds to correctly predict how the majority of them answered.
36:52Get five right, and you'll go home with $67,920.
36:55Yeah!
36:57But beware, three strikes and you're out, all right?
37:01If Alex wins, you're all going home with one of my favorite things.
37:04Uh, Julian, what is my favorite thing?
37:06Uh, the audience will be going home with Raising Cane's Chicken.
37:10Woo!
37:10Yeah!
37:11Chicken!
37:12That's the chicken!
37:13I love it.
37:14Very excited.
37:15People like Raising Cane's.
37:17All right.
37:18You feel ready?
37:19I'm so ready.
37:20Let's get it.
37:20I'm locked in.
37:2130 seconds on the clock.
37:23Here.
37:24We.
37:25Go.
37:26Would this audience rather climb a tree or climb a mountain?
37:30Mountain.
37:32Do they like having happy birthdays sung to them at a restaurant?
37:35They do not.
37:37Do they prefer to buy their clothes online or in person?
37:40Online.
37:41Which would they rather play, poker or Uno?
37:44Poker.
37:46Have they ever drunk a Shirley Temple?
37:48Yes, they have.
37:49Do they text before calling or just call?
37:52Uh, they call.
37:54Have they seen every Harry Potter movie?
37:57All right.
37:58Here we go.
37:59We need five of them to win.
38:01Let's take a look at your answers.
38:04Have you seen all Harry Potter?
38:05I have.
38:06Yeah.
38:07But I think the average American kind of lost interest after that second to last one.
38:11Yeah, yeah.
38:11All right.
38:12We're gonna start at the top.
38:13Would this audience rather climb a tree or climb a mountain?
38:18You said mountain.
38:19I said mountain.
38:20We're in Tennessee.
38:21There's the smoky mountains that are over here.
38:23That's true.
38:23That's true.
38:23Everyone wants to climb a mountain.
38:25It's on their bucket list.
38:26Yeah.
38:26Audience.
38:27Did you say mountain?
38:29Woo!
38:31These are my people.
38:32They get you.
38:33They get you.
38:34I get them.
38:35They get me.
38:36Number two.
38:37Do they like having happy birthday sung to them at a restaurant?
38:41Yeah.
38:42I'm looking around.
38:43I don't think so.
38:43Yeah.
38:44These people, they want it sung to them in the privacy, in the peace of their own homes,
38:48in the comfort of their friends.
38:50Yeah, yeah.
38:50Exactly.
38:51I think no.
38:51Do you like it?
38:53Yeah.
38:53Yeah, yeah.
38:55I love that.
38:58Audience, did you say no?
39:01Yeah!
39:03I like that.
39:03You went against yourself.
39:04Not everyone's as ridiculous as me.
39:06I got it.
39:07I got it.
39:07You got two right.
39:09Do they prefer to buy their clothes online or in person?
39:13You said online.
39:15Did you buy them online?
39:16No.
39:17I got them in person.
39:18I'm an in-person guy, too.
39:19I like to get in there.
39:20Yeah.
39:21Proud, did you also say online?
39:24Oh!
39:25No!
39:26In person.
39:27Oh.
39:27Sorry.
39:28Just one strike.
39:28It's good to get it out of the way.
39:30All right.
39:31Which would they rather play?
39:32Poker or Uno?
39:34You're a poker guy?
39:35I am a poker guy.
39:36Yeah.
39:36Go to Atlantic City, play some poker.
39:38I mean, again, you're saying so much I don't think you should be saying.
39:42You said poker.
39:43Audience, did you also say poker?
39:47Oh, no!
39:49Two strikes.
39:50My goodness.
39:51That's okay.
39:52That's okay.
39:53I still feel good.
39:54Yeah.
39:54I still feel good.
39:55All right.
39:56Three strikes and you're out.
39:59We need three answers right.
40:00Have they ever drunk a Shirley Temple?
40:04You would think so, right?
40:05I think so.
40:06Yeah.
40:06I do.
40:06Yeah.
40:07All right.
40:08Audience, have you drank one?
40:12Yeah!
40:13All right.
40:13Come on.
40:14I knew it.
40:14I knew my picture.
40:16We're still alive.
40:17We're like our Shirley.
40:17All right.
40:18Down to two questions.
40:19We need both of these to be right.
40:20We need them both.
40:21Do they text before calling or just call?
40:25Now, do you give a heads up?
40:27I don't.
40:28No.
40:28I like to call.
40:30I like to call, too.
40:30It's nice to be like, oh, hey, I wasn't expecting you.
40:33Just get them on, yeah.
40:33Whoa.
40:33Surprise.
40:34I like it.
40:36Need this one to be right.
40:38Audience, do you just call?
40:43Yeah!
40:44Oh, my God.
40:46All right.
40:47Come on!
40:48Whoo!
40:49One time!
40:50One time!
40:50All right.
40:52It comes down to this.
40:53Harry Potter.
40:54It always comes down to Harry Potter.
40:56It does, doesn't it?
40:57You said you've seen them all.
40:59I've seen them all.
41:00I've just started going through them.
41:01I have not seen them all.
41:03But we're going through them with my daughter.
41:05We're on number two, so don't tell us anything.
41:08There's a snake.
41:09Oh, my gosh.
41:11Is there...
41:11Yeah.
41:12That's all right.
41:13Have they seen every Harry Potter movie?
41:16You said no.
41:18You need this to be no to win $67,900.
41:23Come on!
41:25Come on!
41:26We want this!
41:27One time!
41:28This is for all of us.
41:31Audience, did you say no?
41:38Oh!
41:39Whoa!
41:40They've seen them all!
41:41Oh!
41:42I'm so sorry.
41:43Alex.
41:44Oh, they know they're Harry.
41:45I'm sorry.
41:45They know they're Harry.
41:47You're right.
41:47That's your third wrong answer, which means you're out.
41:50But you're still going home with $2,000.
41:52Yeah!
41:52Very nice.
41:54Better luck next time for the audience.
41:56No Raisin Cane!
41:58Whoo!
42:00Join us next time to watch another Average American Rise to Greatness right here on The Greatest Average American.
42:07Good night!
42:08You did great, brother.
42:10So good, man.
42:11Appreciate it.
42:11Congrats on your fiancée.
42:13That's awesome.
42:13Great to meet you.
42:14Really good to meet you.
42:15Yeah, pleasure.
42:16I can't believe everybody's seen it.
42:17I really can't.
42:18I'm shocked.
42:19I know.
42:19I thought that was one of the easier ones.
42:21Yeah.
42:21I know.
42:22I haven't seen it.
42:22We're really going through them right now.
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