- 1 week ago
In this episode of The Beverly Hillbillies, the Clampett family continues adjusting to life in Beverly Hills, where their simple country ways clash with high-society customs, leading to humorous misunderstandings and lively situations.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00The Beverly Hillbillies.
00:30Well, helping your granny with the housecleaning, huh?
00:32Oh, yes, sir, Pa. Elmer and me.
00:34Elmer?
00:35Oh, he scurs around inside the cabinets and dusts it.
00:40How's it going, Elmer?
00:45Well, handy little critter, ain't he?
00:47Sure is.
00:48That raccoon fur is better than feathers for picking up lint, Jed.
00:52Seems right proud to be happy, too.
00:55Elmer's a dandy little duster.
00:56Well, let's take our dusters outside and shake them.
00:59Yes, I'm canning.
01:00Then you can take yours upstairs and have them do the dresser drawers in the closet.
01:06Uncle Jed, old Honest John, he'd never come back to pick up his $700,000.
01:10Here's that way.
01:11Can I have it as an advance against my allowance?
01:1350 cents a week, that'd take a while to pay back.
01:16I'm young.
01:17You ain't that young.
01:19Besides, Honest John needs that money to help fight smog.
01:22You know, I'd like to throw my brain in it to fight against smog.
01:25It's a dandy cause.
01:27They say what it'll take to whip it as brains and money.
01:29Well, if it fixed us, we got it made, ain't we?
01:32I reckon we got a leg up on it.
01:36Elmer and me will get busy upstairs.
01:38Fine, Ellie.
01:40Oh, Jed, that reminds me.
01:42Mr. Drysdale called and said he was coming by to pick up this money.
01:46How come?
01:47Well, he said folks had an order to keep $700,000 in cash around the house.
01:53He's got the hives from worrying about it.
01:56Well, I'm sorry about the hives, but I promised this money to Honest John to fight smog.
02:01I'm thinking about jumping into the fight against smog, too, Granny.
02:04Well, Mr. Drysdale said that this money belongs back in the vault at his bank,
02:08and he's coming by to pick it up.
02:10Well, I don't think I can let him have it.
02:12Promise is a promise.
02:14I'm going to fight smog, Granny.
02:16Well, I told Mr. Drysdale that you might not let him have it,
02:19but he says he's coming by to pick it up.
02:22So that's betwixt you and him.
02:23Granny, I'm going to fight smog.
02:26How?
02:27Well, I don't know, but Uncle Jed says it takes brains and money.
02:31Betwixt us, we's all set.
02:33You got money, have you?
02:35No, I'm supplying the brains.
02:38Sitting up here betwixt these sideburns is a real brute.
02:40The only brute you have sits here at the end of your gun at home.
02:46I think we ought to encourage your boy, Granny.
02:49He don't know smog from applesauce.
02:51I do so.
02:53I listen to the reports all the time.
02:54Why, today we's having light eye irritation.
02:57But that don't worry me, because I got dark eyes.
03:03That's a great partner you've got there, Jed.
03:06Oh.
03:19All right, guard.
03:21Bring there and get that money, and don't take no for an answer.
03:27You forced me to wear this uniform to save paying a guard, but it won't work.
03:31Mr. Clapper will recognize me.
03:32I thought of that.
03:34So just wear this disguise.
03:37There we go.
03:41Looks great.
03:42Now get the money.
03:43But suppose Mr. Clapper won't let me take it.
03:45Well, you've got a gun.
03:46Use it.
03:46Oh, gee.
03:47Oh, I don't mean to shoot him.
03:49Just fire a couple of shots over his head to show him you mean business.
03:52I will not.
03:52If you want that money, go and get it yourself.
03:55A fine guard you are.
03:56Why, you're a disgrace to that uniform.
04:00Mr. Drysley.
04:01I thought I heard somebody.
04:02Oh, Mr. Clapper, this guard is here to pick up that $700,000.
04:06I don't think I can let him have it.
04:08Well, whatever you do, don't cross him.
04:10He's armed.
04:10He's a mad dog killer.
04:12Just think.
04:16Are you a mad dog killer, Miss Jean?
04:18Of course not.
04:20Miss Hathaway.
04:20Hey, what are you doing in that uniform?
04:23Oh, boy.
04:25If this is your idea of a practical joke, I, for one, do not appreciate it.
04:29Or can I imagine Mr. Clapper is amused either.
04:32No, she...
04:32I don't see that she's punished, Mr. Clapper.
04:34And I think the proper punishment would be to make her carry out that heavy bag of money.
04:38Go get it.
04:39Now, hold on.
04:40Now, she ain't toting out that money.
04:41Well, if you want to forgive her so easily, but keep an eye on her.
04:46Any woman who'll dress up like that, there's watching.
04:54Hello, Jethro.
04:55Howdy, Mr. Drysdale.
04:57Get up.
04:57I need this money.
04:58Uncle Jed don't want you to have it, so I'm going to sit here to think of a way to
05:01get rid of the smog.
05:02Jethro, that is a problem for a genius to solve.
05:07I'm working on it.
05:08Why don't you go out to the kitchen and eat something?
05:12Vowed I wouldn't eat until I figured out a way to whip the smog.
05:15Well, go get a stick and hit it.
05:18You ain't being no help.
05:20Well, neither of you.
05:21Get up.
05:21Not till I think of an idea.
05:26Jethro, get off the money.
05:27Here's an armed guard.
05:28He'll shoot you.
05:29Hey, mister.
05:30You look like your secretary, Miss Jane.
05:32I am, Miss Jane.
05:34What are you doing wearing that outfit?
05:36It was dark when she dressed this morning.
05:38Now get off the money.
05:39Chief, Mr. Cloppet is not going to let you take this money.
05:42Okay, then you take it.
05:43Come on, get her.
05:44Get her.
05:44We might just as well go back to the office.
05:46Hey, Miss Jane, before you go, sit down and help me think of an idea on how to get rid
05:50of smog.
05:52Jethro, dear boy, the finest minds in the country are working on that problem.
05:55Well, yeah, but I ain't getting nowhere.
05:57Don't sit there wasting time with that idiot.
05:59Hey, now, hold on.
05:59Just because she's dressed funny, don't make her an idiot.
06:01Get up from there, both of them.
06:02Hey, Mr. Drysdale, it is hard to think of brilliant ideas with folks yelling at you.
06:07Where does Granny keep her shotgun?
06:11Sure hope I can lift that smog problem before I starve to death.
06:14Jethro, I'm afraid that problem won't be solved until someone invents a replacement for the internal combustion engine.
06:20I'll do it.
06:21I'm on it.
06:25Hey, what's the internal combustion engine?
06:28Well, that's the engine that powers the average automobile.
06:30The hope is to convert to steam or electricity.
06:34Hey, Mr. Drysdale, what should I put my giant brain to work on first?
06:37A steam car or an electric car?
06:39Why not a gas turbine?
06:40Oh, I ain't gonna mess with hats.
06:42Just cars.
06:43Well.
06:49Mr. Drysdale, I done told you this money is staying here.
07:00Mr. Drysdale, get off of my money.
07:01It's my money.
07:03No, it ain't.
07:04It's mine.
07:05Well, it's my sack.
07:07All right, I'll dump the money out and you can have the sack.
07:10Good.
07:11Just dump it in that truck out front.
07:14It's staying here.
07:15But it's not safe here.
07:18It was till you showed up.
07:20But it's going back into my vault.
07:22Odie.
07:23Oh, Chief.
07:24Don't stand there, Hathaway.
07:26Use your gun.
07:26That is an excellent idea.
07:28Stand back, Mr. Clabbert.
07:29I should hate to hit you.
07:30You traitor.
07:32Mr. Drysdale, get a hold of yourself.
07:34I done promised this money to a fellow that's going to get rid of all the smog.
07:38Not Jethro.
07:39No, no.
07:40This fellow's going to drill a tunnel through the San Bernardino Mountains, put in a great
07:44big fan, and draw all the smog out of Los Angeles.
07:48But that's a preposterous idea.
07:51Yeah, we like it too.
07:53Mr. Clabbert, the problem of smog is too big to be handled locally.
07:57It has to be solved on a national level.
08:00Is that a fact?
08:01Only the president can get together the brainpower and the vast amount of money necessary.
08:05Why, this $700,000 isn't even a drop in the bucket.
08:09Well, how much does the president need?
08:11Oh, millions, billions.
08:13Oh, I'll just take this chicken feed back to the bank.
08:17I'll study on it, Mr. Drysdale.
08:18No, give up, chief.
08:21Let's go.
08:27Hold it, Hathaway.
08:29I'm not through with you.
08:31What now?
08:32You are guilty of conduct unbecoming an employee of the Commerce Bank.
08:36Oh, big deal.
08:37For cowardice in the face of action.
08:40A failure to obey a direct order.
08:44Dental treachery and insubordination.
08:47You are hereby dishonorably discharged as a guard and reduced to the rank of secretary.
08:52Hallelujah.
08:54Don't expect a Christmas bonus this year.
08:56I have never had a Christmas bonus.
08:58Well, don't expect one this year either.
09:00Now get the truck.
09:12Boy, what have you done to that truck?
09:14Looks like the boogers set it on fire.
09:17Jethro, what'd you do?
09:19It's unconverted this rascal to steam.
09:21You are looking at the answer to air pollution by automobile.
09:24The Jethro Bodane steam car.
09:29But I have done perfected a clean engine.
09:32I'm going back inside.
09:35Let's all do that for this.
09:36Clean engine chokes us for this.
09:43Uncle Jeth.
09:45Honest John ain't going to be needing his money no more now that I whipped the smog problem.
09:49So I use it to mass produce my steam car.
09:51Hold on, boy.
09:53According to Mr. Drydale, only the president himself can handle a small problem.
09:57The president of the United States?
09:59That's right.
09:59He's the only one that can bring together the brains and the money.
10:02Well, here stands the whole kit and caboodle.
10:04I'll hop on my steam car, drive to Washington, pull up in front of the White House, and give
10:07him the brains and the money, all in one package.
10:09Hold on, boy.
10:10What you got there is just a drop in the bucket.
10:12And it ain't likely enough money.
10:15Talking about the money, Granny.
10:17Mr. Drydale says the president's libeling to need millions, even billions.
10:21I was thinking of giving him all my money.
10:23Okay, I'll stop by the bank and get the rest of it.
10:25Well, Pop, if Jethro goes to Washington, I want to go, too.
10:29And they ain't going without me.
10:31I was just coming to that.
10:32I think it'd be a fine trip for the whole family.
10:38I'd best go leave a note for the milkman.
10:40Tell him he's going to Washington.
10:44And since you have failed to make your final payment promptly, we are forced to repossess
10:49your automobile.
10:51Sincerely, your friendly banker, Milburn Drysdale.
10:53Keith, you're telling your own brother you're repossessing his car?
10:57Oh, that is a little cold, isn't it?
10:59Uh, P.S. Regards to Betty and the babies.
11:04Yes, who is it?
11:06It's me, Mr. Drysdale.
11:08I'll bet you back your sack of chicken feed.
11:10Oh, bless you, bless you.
11:13Quite happy to get it, ain't he?
11:14No, chicken could be happier.
11:17I studied on what you said about letting the president fight the small.
11:21Wonderful.
11:21The cashier tells me that counting this, I got right at 95 million in your bank now.
11:26Wonderful.
11:27So we're going to take it to Washington and give it to the president.
11:30Mr. Clabbit, you can't give all your money to the president.
11:34Why not?
11:35Oh, because it...
11:36Miss Hathaway, tell them why not.
11:38Why not?
11:39Not that way.
11:40Explain it.
11:41Mr. Clabbit, it is your money.
11:43You may do with it as you wish.
11:45Who asked you to butt in?
11:46You did.
11:46Well, butt out.
11:48Now, Mr. Clabbit, this will take time.
11:50Government red tape, internal revenue, seatbelt service, White House clearance.
11:55Now, I'll work it out and call you.
11:57Well, I'd appreciate it if you'd hurry, because we'd like to get started.
12:00Right away.
12:01Right away.
12:02Oh, and you don't have to give us the 95 million in cash.
12:05I reckon the president will take a check.
12:07Well, I'll discuss it with him and let you know.
12:11Miss Hathaway, you've got to help me.
12:13If they take their money out of my bank, I'm ruined.
12:15I've got nothing to live for.
12:17Oh, now, chief.
12:19A suicide note.
12:20That will stop them.
12:21Here, take this.
12:23Mr. Clabbit, because you are withdrawing your money,
12:26my death is on your hands.
12:28Gee, no.
12:29Now, type that up, pin it to your dress,
12:31and throw yourself out the window.
12:33Me?
12:34They love you.
12:35This will teach them a great lesson.
12:37Thanks, but no thanks.
12:39I promise this is the last favor I'll ever ask.
12:43Forget it.
12:44What?
12:45If you're too chicken to throw yourself out the window,
12:48I'll do it.
12:55All right, come over here.
12:56I can't throw you out from there.
13:07What's all the honking, fur boy?
13:08I done come up with an invention that beats steam.
13:11Yeah, I see the boiler's gone.
13:12Yes, sir.
13:13Notice how quiet she is?
13:14No noise.
13:15No smoke.
13:16No smoke?
13:17She runs on electricity.
13:19Well, doggie, I'm real proud of you, boy.
13:22Bob, Bob, the presidents are calling you.
13:25All the way from Washington.
13:27President of the United States is calling me.
13:29Yes, sir, Bob.
13:30They're bringing the old fellow to the phone, Mr. Little.
13:33Isn't he in a straitjacket?
13:35Oh, no, no, he's not dangerous.
13:36He just suffers from the delusion that he's worth $95 million.
13:40No wonder he's in the funny farm.
13:42The whole family.
13:43You know, it's wonderful of you to look after them.
13:47Oh, they're very sweet people.
13:49Nutty, but sweet.
13:50Hurry, Dan, don't keep them waiting.
13:53Hey, tell them about my electric car.
13:56Hello?
13:57Hello?
13:59Hello, Jed Clement speaking.
14:02Hello, Mr. Clement.
14:03This is the president speaking.
14:05Is that sure enough you, Mr. President?
14:07Oh, yes.
14:08Make no mistake about that.
14:09I am the president.
14:13That's him, Warren.
14:16Now, Mr. Drysdale has told me of your generous and patriotic offer to donate your entire fortune to the fight
14:22against air pollution.
14:23Yes, sir.
14:24It's only $95 million, but you're sure welcome to it.
14:27And we'll bring it right to you right there in the White House.
14:29The whole family.
14:31This year's granny, Mr. President.
14:33Mr. President, I'll bring you some pickled pawpaws and some hand-slung chickens.
14:39Mr. President, this year's yelling night.
14:42Would you like a nice little baby possum to play with?
14:46My nephew Jethro ain't here to say howdy, but he's going to drive us all the way to Washington in
14:51his brand-new invention, the electric car.
14:54No, no, no.
14:55Don't come to Washington.
14:57We've got enough people like you here already.
15:00You're public-spirited citizens now.
15:04But how do we get the money to you?
15:07Well, I'm glad you asked me that.
15:08I want to make this point very clear.
15:12What is the point I want to make very clear?
15:17Leave your money in the bank.
15:20The Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills.
15:25Where it will draw maximum interest.
15:28A compounded semi-annual.
15:33In the care of your wise and friendly banker, Melvin Drystead.
15:37Well, naturally, we'll do whatever you say, Mr. President.
15:40But the family's going to be awful disappointed.
15:43We was hoping to get away to Washington.
15:45Oh, no, no.
15:46Don't try to get away.
15:47Just stay right there and do what the nice man on the white coat tells you.
15:50Goodbye.
15:51Bye.
15:55What did he say, Jed?
15:57He said he don't want us to come to Washington right now.
16:00Well, what are we supposed to do, Pa?
16:02He says he's going to send a man in a white coat to tell us.
16:11General, I just talked to the President, and we won't be driving a Washington in your electric car.
16:17It's just as well, Uncle Jed.
16:19I'd never found an extension cord long enough to get us there.
16:33Mr. Little, that was a magnificent performance.
16:37Why, your impersonation of the President was absolutely incredible.
16:41I hope to see you again sometime.
16:43Take good care of yourself.
16:45Mr. Drysdale, aren't you forgetting something?
16:48Oh, what's that?
16:49My fee.
16:51Oh, yes, yes.
16:52How much is it?
16:54Well, ordinarily, I receive $7,500 for a performance.
16:58However, in this case, I'll cut it in half.
17:01How's $3,750?
17:03$3,750 it is.
17:06$20,40.
17:07Now, you owe me $2.50.
17:10No, that's $3,750.
17:15For five minutes' work, the President doesn't get that much, and he's the real thing.
17:20Excuse me, Chief.
17:21These foreclosures are read...
17:23Aren't you Rich Little, the impressionist?
17:26Yes, I am.
17:27Oh, Mr. Little, I just love your impression of John Wayne.
17:30Huh?
17:32Well, thank you very much, ma'am.
17:35Now, let me say that if we had girls like you out on the trail, I never would have given
17:40my horse a second look.
17:43Oh, that is marvelous.
17:46And your Ed Sullivan is an absolute classic.
17:49Old Ed Sullivan, wonderful.
17:51Would you do me a favor there yet, sir?
17:55Would you come on our show next Sunday night and bring your stuffed giraffe?
17:59Yes.
17:59I'd love to have you.
18:01What else are you going to have on the show?
18:03World War I, with the original cap, in living color, with the surprise ending.
18:10Oh!
18:11Even, isn't he?
18:12That he certainly is.
18:13This was a real pleasure.
18:15Wait a minute.
18:16You're forgetting something again.
18:18Oh, yes, your fee.
18:19What are you charging her for Wayne and Sullivan?
18:21Oh, nothing.
18:22All except the same arrangement.
18:24Wait.
18:29Don't leave no milk for a spell.
18:34We is going to Washington, Granny.
18:43Well, you're going to Washington.
18:46We is?
18:47That's what the message says.
18:49Have a good trip.
18:50Hey, Uncle Jed, we's going to Washington.
18:52We just got the message.
18:55What'd you say, boy?
18:56We's going to Washington.
18:58The fellow in the white coat just brought the message from the president.
19:00Well, where is he?
19:01Yonder he goes.
19:04Ain't that the milkman?
19:05Being a milkman is what you call a cover.
19:07Cover?
19:08He's really a secret agent for the government.
19:10Sure not.
19:11Yeah.
19:11I learned all that stuff when I was a double-knoted spy.
19:14Well, reckon we best get packing.
19:16Should I convert my electric car back to steam?
19:18No, I think we better fly.
19:21When the president sends for you, you don't want to keep him waiting.
19:25Well, if he comes in, will you please ask him to call his office immediately?
19:29It's an emergency.
19:35How do you like it, Miss Holloway?
19:37Chief, where have you been?
19:40Shopping.
19:41Any messages?
19:42Oh, just one, but it's a beauty.
19:44The Clopards are leaving for Washington.
19:47What?
19:47They're determined to give their $95 million to the president.
19:52We've got to stop them.
19:54Get Rich Little back.
19:55You're kidding.
19:56Huh?
19:57Here's a signed check.
19:58He can make it out for any amount he likes.
20:00Oh, get up to the Clopards and delay them until he calls.
20:09I made it.
20:10They're still here.
20:12Pirate.
20:13Granity.
20:13Ellie May.
20:15Jethro.
20:16Where is everybody?
20:18Oh, hello, Bessie.
20:20Is that for me?
20:22How are you?
20:26Dear Mr. Drysdale, please feed the critters till we get back.
20:34Enjoying your flight?
20:35Yes, ma'am.
20:37We's going to Washington to see the president.
20:40We's going to give him $95 million.
20:42Oh, boy.
20:44You know the president.
20:45Talked to him this morning.
20:47I'm fetching him a baby possum.
20:49And I'm taking him a jar of pickled pawpaws and some hand-slung chicklins.
20:55We was going in my electric car, but I couldn't find no 3,000-mile extension cord.
21:01That's very interesting.
21:04Good lady, how high would you say we're flying?
21:06A lot higher than the plane.
21:21I'm an angel.
21:22And witness the miracles.
21:24Touched by an angel.
21:25Weeknights at 8 on the Hallmark Channel.
21:28Maxine's job is to keep families together.
21:31In just a few minutes, you will be one big happy family.
21:34Including her own.
21:35Mom, you have to stop.
21:36Stop what?
21:37I know you mean well, but you really have to let me grow up.
21:40I thought I did that already.
21:42Amy Brenneman and Time Daily in Judging Amy.
21:45Monday at 9 on Hallmark Channel.
21:48Y'all come back now.
21:50Here?
21:51This has been a FilmWise.
Comments