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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh, call me Amanda.
00:00:02Mrs. Amanda, perhaps you should explain exactly what did or did not happen to your husband.
00:00:11It happened last week when Clinton was away on a business trip to Dallas,
00:00:16and the hotel desk clerk said he saw him leave for dinner around 7,
00:00:20but when he came back, he wasn't alone.
00:00:24He was with...
00:00:26A woman?
00:00:27Why, yes! Mr. Omar, that's uncanny!
00:00:32Oh, call it a gift. Please, continue.
00:00:36When the maid came in the next morning, no Clinton.
00:00:40What of these mysterious women?
00:00:42There was no sign of either of them.
00:00:45You know the really strange part?
00:00:48They found ashes in his bed.
00:00:53Ashes?
00:00:54Now, what's so strange about that?
00:00:57Perhaps Mr. Deathweiler smokes in his sleep?
00:01:00Fifty pounds of ashes?
00:01:03Okay, smokes.
00:01:05That's a lot of ashes.
00:01:06What's more, they found these among them.
00:01:11Clinton's gold watch and gold necklace.
00:01:18They are valuable?
00:01:22Oh, very.
00:01:23Clinton would never go anywhere without them.
00:01:26That's why I know something terrible's happened to my Clinton.
00:01:32Oh, wait.
00:01:34Mrs. Deathweiler, these things of your husband, they are just pulsing with psychic vibrations.
00:01:41So I will give them for further study?
00:01:44Of course.
00:01:45Anything.
00:01:46Before we begin, it is necessary to further reduce the spirits with a small donation.
00:01:55I beg your pardon?
00:01:57Yes, in advance.
00:02:00Oh, I see.
00:02:11I like that one.
00:02:16They should have these spirits from beyond, and they will give us their full cooperation.
00:02:22They should have these spirits.
00:02:24It's gotten from a stone 2,000 years ago.
00:02:29But I warn you, I must have absolute silence.
00:02:34They must not speak.
00:02:36Yet that spirit first speaks to you.
00:02:41You understand.
00:02:45Elohim, Adonai.
00:02:50Shabbat.
00:02:57Elohim, Zadeh, Tetra, Kramitan.
00:03:07Guardian of the Abyss, hear me.
00:03:11Remove the veil that lies between this world and the next.
00:03:15I call into the Black Peak. I am summoning Clinton, Deathweiler.
00:03:22Hey, Clinton! Are you out there?
00:03:26Huh?
00:03:44Well... Hello there, Missy. Are you from around these parts?
00:03:51Clint! Clint, honey! Is that really you?
00:03:57I don't believe I called you, darling.
00:04:00Why, Clint! It's your wife, Amanda!
00:04:04I don't get back to Dallas nearly as often as I'd like.
00:04:08Gives me excuses to leave for your lady, you know what I mean?
00:04:12What?!
00:04:13What's she like? Nothing special.
00:04:15Why, hell, she ain't half as pretty as you are.
00:04:20Why, you son of a bitch!
00:04:23Why, ain't you the feisty little minx?
00:04:27What say we go to my hotel room and, uh, us around?
00:04:34Well, here we are, darling. The Lyndon B. Johnson suite!
00:04:40So, take your little fanny over here and I'll show you a real Texas Longhorn!
00:04:48Oh! Well, god!
00:04:52Oh! Oh!
00:04:54Oh! My god!
00:04:55Oooooh!
00:04:57Oh...oh!
00:05:01Oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...oh....
00:05:02Oh, that's right, baby.
00:05:03Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
00:05:06Oh! Right, the big stallion alone!
00:05:12Yee-haw!
00:05:23There was some mess.
00:05:27If you think I'm going to sit here and listen to you get your hogwash by some floozy,
00:05:35well, you are sadly mistaken.
00:05:38And if you see Mr. Omar in there,
00:05:40will you kindly tell him I can show myself out?
00:05:45Wait.
00:05:46What are you doing down there?
00:05:48Watch the teeth, will you?
00:05:50Hey, cut it out.
00:05:51Hey, go.
00:06:00Quit, honey.
00:06:01What's wrong?
00:06:03He's gone.
00:06:05She beat him.
00:06:07She beat him in there.
00:06:09She beat him in there.
00:06:11Oh my God.
00:06:13She sees me.
00:06:14Get away.
00:06:15Get away, my little spirit.
00:06:17No, no, no, no, no.
00:06:30What's the matter, bitch?
00:06:33I thought I told you once already to keep your big mouth shut.
00:06:50I've got to sing a song and it won't be loud.
00:06:53One, two, and one, two, three, four.
00:07:10Suck me.
00:07:12Suck me.
00:07:12Suck me.
00:07:13Suck your brains all out until you're going to blue.
00:07:15Look into her eyes and there's no glimmer.
00:07:20Yeah.
00:07:22Better cross yourself because she's a sinner.
00:07:28She's bound to dominate your soul.
00:07:33So are they still still sucking my frack and roll?
00:07:39If it's for the rat girl, you've been waiting.
00:07:45Look again, cause she's in me, quest things.
00:07:51She's a demon force beyond control.
00:07:56She's a demon force beyond control.
00:07:58She's a demon force beyond control.
00:08:02She's a demon force beyond control.
00:08:17She's a demon force beyond control.
00:08:18She will drag you six feet in the hole.
00:08:24Sorority sisters suck you, fucks, rag and roll!
00:08:32It might try to reach her.
00:08:36Now you're going to the preacher.
00:08:38Forget about it, go where he fits.
00:08:41She sees a cross, she starts to hiss
00:08:44She sees a cross, she spits out his sense
00:08:47She's a super-psycho-mister
00:08:53Many guys would think that she's a winner
00:08:59Has a sink, that's where you'll have to get her
00:09:05She will nipple off your breaststroke
00:09:12Back and roll
00:09:17Back and roll
00:09:20Back and roll
00:09:23Bless my soul
00:09:40Back and roll
00:09:53Back and roll
00:09:56Back and roll
00:10:09Could someone give me a hand?
00:10:17I said, could someone give me a hand here?
00:10:24Thanks a lot.
00:10:27Huh?
00:10:29Thanks a lot.
00:10:31Oh, you're welcome.
00:10:41Hey kiddo, finally made it back.
00:10:44You won't believe how much stuff they had there.
00:10:47I could have stayed all night.
00:10:49Let me guess, a flea market.
00:10:53What else?
00:10:56This is becoming a compulsion.
00:10:58You can't get anything else into your room, and now you're starting to fill up the attic
00:11:03and the garage.
00:11:04Oh, lay off, will ya?
00:11:06I mean, you gotta have your hobbies.
00:11:09God knows we don't have any boyfriends.
00:11:11I do.
00:11:13Sort of.
00:11:13Well, at least you've got your music.
00:11:17And me, I like to cook.
00:11:19We know.
00:11:20We know.
00:11:21Well, and I don't see why Marcy shouldn't feel free to collect her...
00:11:27Antiques.
00:11:28Yeah.
00:11:28Hey, look, all I'm saying is I don't want to piss off the other girls.
00:11:33We barely made it into this sorority, and I don't want to get kicked out.
00:11:39Oh, don't worry.
00:11:42Want to see what I got?
00:11:43Sure.
00:11:44Melody?
00:11:45Okay.
00:11:49Look at this.
00:11:49Isn't this darling?
00:11:51I can't wait till the weather gets warmer so I can wear it.
00:11:54Boy, it goes great with her eyes, doesn't it?
00:11:57I couldn't resist these.
00:12:02Oh, what are they?
00:12:04Matching salt and pepper shakers.
00:12:07Oh, great.
00:12:08We could use them the next time we entertain.
00:12:10Yeah, especially if Mr. Green Jeans comes over.
00:12:21Hey, I didn't know you wore these.
00:12:23I don't.
00:12:24I bought them for you.
00:12:27Oh, thanks!
00:12:29Break it up, you guys.
00:12:32What else did you get?
00:12:34A hand-carved coconut monkey head.
00:12:39My dad bought me one like this exactly in Florida when I was six years old,
00:12:44and then my baby brother smashed it with a hammer.
00:12:47I cried for weeks.
00:12:49I'll bet.
00:12:52Oh!
00:12:54I never see these anymore.
00:12:57I can't imagine why.
00:13:00It would look great on top of the piano.
00:13:03Oh, no, no.
00:13:05You bought it for yourself, and I think it would really look good in your room.
00:13:10Don't you agree, Mickey?
00:13:12Oh, yes, absolutely.
00:13:13Yeah.
00:13:14You're sure?
00:13:14Oh, yeah.
00:13:15Trust me.
00:13:18Wow.
00:13:19Hey.
00:13:21Is this for real?
00:13:23Yeah, it's a real crystal.
00:13:25Feel how heavy it is.
00:13:27But I mean, is it, well, you know, magical?
00:13:31Well, the guy who sold it to me said it once belonged to a medium.
00:13:35A medium what?
00:13:36A spiritualist.
00:13:38A fortune teller.
00:13:40Oh.
00:13:41Well, why did he get rid of it?
00:13:43Did he change careers?
00:13:45Um, no.
00:13:46I think he died.
00:13:49You mean I'm holding a dead medium's ball?
00:13:52Oh, come on, Mickey.
00:13:53It's just a piece of glass.
00:13:58Well, I don't know.
00:13:59This stuff scares me.
00:14:00I mean, I saw this movie once where these guys broke into this Egyptian tomb, and they
00:14:05stole these artifacts, and this vampire lady, she put a curse on them.
00:14:10It was so funny.
00:14:13You are.
00:14:14You're not supposed to take that stuff seriously.
00:14:17It'll rot your brain.
00:14:20I don't even like those films.
00:14:22One stupid zombie picture was enough for me.
00:14:27Well, I don't know.
00:14:28You start messing around, and your head starts to do a 360.
00:14:31Don't say I didn't warn you.
00:14:34Hey, it's pretty quiet around here.
00:14:37Where is everybody?
00:14:39Didn't you know?
00:14:41Everybody is gone for the weekend.
00:14:44Everyone?
00:14:45Everyone except us.
00:14:47Carol and Dawn went camping with their boyfriends.
00:14:50Joy, Nancy, and Megan are down in Palm Springs.
00:14:55And Missy went to the Bahamas with her folks.
00:14:58What about Cindy?
00:15:00Oh, she'll love with Bob Margolis.
00:15:03No, really?
00:15:05They're probably in Vegas by now.
00:15:08And that leaves the three of us alone for the whole weekend.
00:15:12Well, you know, guys, we've never had the place all to ourselves.
00:15:16It seems like we ought to do something special.
00:15:19Like what?
00:15:21Hey, I know.
00:15:22Let's have a party.
00:15:24And invite who?
00:15:25Everybody's gone.
00:15:27Well, I don't mean the girls.
00:15:30Let's get some guys over here.
00:15:33Um, Melody, I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but we don't know any guys.
00:15:38Well, what about Kevin?
00:15:40The one you went out with last month?
00:15:43Yeah.
00:15:44Wasn't he that physics major?
00:15:46Real shy?
00:15:48Yeah.
00:15:50I had to take his hand and put it down my blouse.
00:15:53Oh, you never told us that!
00:15:55You old monster!
00:15:57What happened?
00:16:00Nothing.
00:16:02He got his class ring caught in my butt, and it took ten minutes to get it loose.
00:16:08He ran all the way back to the dorm.
00:16:11And he never called you after that.
00:16:13You came on too strong.
00:16:15No!
00:16:16I think he was just embarrassed.
00:16:19Oh, yeah, but even if you do get him to come over, what about us?
00:16:23I'll tell him to bring two of his fraternity brothers.
00:16:27Hold it.
00:16:28This is starting to sound like a blind date.
00:16:32Hey, so what if it is?
00:16:34I mean, we kind of beat sitting around on a Saturday night by ourselves.
00:16:40And what have we got to lose?
00:16:46Yeah.
00:17:01Hello?
00:17:02Hello, Kevin.
00:17:04This is Melody.
00:17:05Melody?
00:17:06What a surprise.
00:17:08I was wondering why you haven't called me.
00:17:12I've been really busy studying for a big exam.
00:17:15For a whole month?
00:17:18Well, actually, I was afraid that you were mad at me.
00:17:22Why?
00:17:25For trying to take advantage of you.
00:17:28Kevin, I practically raped you.
00:17:31What was that?
00:17:32Oh, my God.
00:17:34Oh, my God.
00:17:34It was just the TV.
00:17:38Gosh, Melody.
00:17:41Does that mean that you...
00:17:43I mean, you really do?
00:17:48Like me?
00:17:49Of course I like you.
00:17:51Of course I like you.
00:17:52Whoa!
00:17:54Kevin, are you still there?
00:17:57Yes, Melody.
00:17:58I'm here.
00:17:59Good.
00:17:59Because there was something else I wanted to ask you.
00:18:02Yeah?
00:18:03What is it?
00:18:04Well, me and a couple friends from Tri-Eda-Pi are having a party.
00:18:10And we'd like you to come tonight.
00:18:13Oh, gee, Melody, I don't know.
00:18:15I have a big trigonometry test on Monday.
00:18:17Kevin!
00:18:19All right.
00:18:20All right, I'll be there.
00:18:22Oh, good.
00:18:23And if you could bring along a couple of other guys for Mickey and Marcy.
00:18:28Yeah, a couple of hunks.
00:18:30What?
00:18:31Um, you don't want to be the only boy here, do you?
00:18:36Two guys, huh?
00:18:38I might be able to find somebody.
00:18:40Who are the girls?
00:18:42Do I know them?
00:18:43Um, yeah.
00:18:44I'm sure you remember Mickey.
00:18:46She made the president of the home economics class last fall.
00:18:50Oh, yeah.
00:18:52She's the one with the great big smile.
00:18:57What about the other one?
00:18:59Marcy.
00:19:00Oh, she's a history major.
00:19:03I don't know any history majors.
00:19:05Hey, well, you will after tonight.
00:19:07See you at 7.
00:19:08Bye.
00:19:12Well?
00:19:13He's coming.
00:19:15And he's bringing a couple of guys.
00:19:19What are their names?
00:19:21Who cares?
00:19:21They're guys.
00:19:23Yeah.
00:19:24Okay, here's the plan.
00:19:26Okay, Mickey, you take care of the food.
00:19:28And Marcy and I'll pick up the place.
00:19:31Sure thing.
00:19:32Before we get started, could you help me finish unloading the car?
00:19:35Oh, you mean there's more?
00:19:37Sure, there's lots of goodies still out there.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:40I never knew they made a six-foot lava lamp.
00:19:47You guys are not going to believe this.
00:19:50What's up?
00:19:51Time for class?
00:19:53You keep reading that stuff, dude.
00:19:55You're going to go blind.
00:19:55Screw you, Freddy.
00:19:57What's going on?
00:19:59I just got a call from Melody Hoffmeyer.
00:20:02The chick you struck out with last month?
00:20:04Maybe I didn't strike out.
00:20:06Like I said, she called me.
00:20:09So, big deal.
00:20:10What's that got to do with us?
00:20:12She just invited the three of us to a party at the Tri-Aida Pie House.
00:20:16When?
00:20:17Tonight at 7.
00:20:18Oh, dudes, the Aida Pies are foxes.
00:20:21Well, they're not all going to be there.
00:20:23Just Melody and two of her sisters.
00:20:25Well, that's okay.
00:20:26A piece of pie a piece.
00:20:28Oh, wait a second.
00:20:30Which two sisters?
00:20:32One of them is the girl who won that Home Ec Award last semester.
00:20:35Thunder Thighs Johnson?
00:20:37No way.
00:20:38She's all yours, pal.
00:20:40Oh, sure.
00:20:41Stick me with the wide ride.
00:20:42Who's my date?
00:20:44The Elephant Man?
00:20:45She's a history major.
00:20:47Her name's Marcy.
00:20:49Not Marcy Feinberg.
00:20:52You know her?
00:20:54She's in my biology class.
00:20:56The glasses she wears make up half her body weight.
00:20:59Well, in case you haven't looked in the mirror lately, you're not exactly James Bond.
00:21:03James Bond isn't James Bond anymore.
00:21:06Look, you guys.
00:21:07None of us are exactly the GQ types.
00:21:09So, why don't you just go and make the best of it?
00:21:12Sure, that's easy for you to say.
00:21:13You get Melody.
00:21:14I get Moby Dick.
00:21:16Oh, she's not so hot.
00:21:17I saw her once.
00:21:19You could open a beer bottle with those buck teeth of hers.
00:21:22You take that back, you little squid.
00:21:24I should have known better than doing you a favor.
00:21:26What kind of favor is fixing us up with the Gorgon Sisters?
00:21:29Hey, look, dude.
00:21:30If you really don't like this Marcy chick, I'll take her.
00:21:32And leave me with Mickey the Monster?
00:21:35Forget it.
00:21:36Well, maybe the two of you could have an eating contest.
00:21:40Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:21:41They're one another.
00:21:42You two can run up and join a side show of the world's ugliest couple.
00:21:45Who are you calling ugly sperm brat?
00:21:47Yeah, you look up ugly in the dictionary and find a picture of you.
00:21:50Oh, God.
00:21:50That was older than your underwear.
00:21:52You keep out of this.
00:21:53Not after what you said about Melody.
00:21:54Well, what have we here?
00:21:57Looks like a bunch of fags to me.
00:22:00Yeah.
00:22:00You guys queering off down there or what?
00:22:02Hey, guys, it's not what you think.
00:22:04Really?
00:22:05Looks pretty fishy to me, doesn't it, guys?
00:22:07You see, me and the boys were just having a friendly little argument.
00:22:10Looks a little too friendly, homo.
00:22:13Back off, man.
00:22:14Now, I'd say you boys have committed a serious infraction against frat rules.
00:22:18What say I consult the manual?
00:22:20Good idea, Phil.
00:22:22Any brother or brothers caught participating in any kind of homosexual activity
00:22:27shall have all privileges suspended pending a review
00:22:31and public humiliation by his or their elder brothers.
00:22:36Seems like there's a new rule in that thing every time you open it.
00:22:39What, you don't believe it?
00:22:40It's in there right next to the rule against bestiality.
00:22:43Uh, bud, I think we took that rule out because of the time we, uh...
00:22:48Oh, yeah.
00:22:50I forgot.
00:22:51Look, you guys, this is ridiculous.
00:22:53For your information, we just got invited to a party at the Try-Eat-A-Pie house.
00:22:57Oh, yeah?
00:22:58So how come we didn't hear about it?
00:23:00Small party.
00:23:01Three gals and three guys.
00:23:03Yeah, you have to find your own women.
00:23:06Come on, they're lying.
00:23:08Oh, look, if you don't believe us,
00:23:10why don't you call the Eat-A-Pies and ask them?
00:23:12Oh, yeah.
00:23:15Oh, yeah.
00:23:19We'd never think to question the masculinity of any guy invited to party with the Eight-A-Pies.
00:23:25However, we do have certain rules regarding such matters.
00:23:28It is strictly forbidden for any uninitiated pledge to fraternize with any member of a sister sorority.
00:23:34The penalty for infringement is mandatory expulsion.
00:23:38Gosh, fellas, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we're going to have to ground you for the weekend.
00:23:42Just to make sure you wouldn't do anything that would get you kicked out of this fraternity.
00:23:46Yeah, we'd hate for that to happen.
00:23:48You can't do this.
00:23:49You can't run our lives for us.
00:23:50Yes, we can.
00:23:51That's the entire point of being in a fraternity.
00:23:54And if you don't like it, you can pack up your shit and clear out.
00:23:58Have a nice evening.
00:24:04Those bastards, they can't get away with this.
00:24:06Oh, yes, they can.
00:24:07As long as we're here, we've got to play it their way.
00:24:09Either that or we wind up in the street.
00:24:11Yeah, and the main reason we joined was the free housing.
00:24:14So what are you going to do?
00:24:15Just sit there and let them ruin our love lives?
00:24:17Oh, what love lives?
00:24:19A minute ago, you were against the whole evening.
00:24:21Well, yeah, well, that was then.
00:24:22Now I feel like we shouldn't let those assholes push us around.
00:24:26It's the principle of the thing.
00:24:28Yeah.
00:24:29Okay, maybe we can sneak out without them noticing.
00:24:33It's not like they're going to be guarding our door.
00:24:37Oh, and by the way,
00:24:39just in case you guys were thinking of doing anything
00:24:41to jeopardize your fraternal careers,
00:24:43we're going to be standing guard outside the door here all night long.
00:24:59Let's find the green ones.
00:25:23What time is it now?
00:25:26It's two minutes later than the last time you asked.
00:25:298.35, that jerk.
00:25:33Maybe they're being fashionably late.
00:25:36Or fashionably not coming.
00:25:39Well, maybe they got run over by a bus.
00:25:43Let's face the facts.
00:25:45Some girls are popular and some aren't.
00:25:48I just thought this once.
00:25:53It's them.
00:25:54They're here.
00:25:56Callagraph.
00:26:06Dear girls, stop.
00:26:08Came down with the flu.
00:26:09Stop.
00:26:10We'll stop by sometime.
00:26:12Stop.
00:26:12When we stop vomiting.
00:26:14Stop.
00:26:14Stop the guys.
00:26:17P.S.
00:26:18Surprise.
00:26:23What the heck?
00:26:29Sorry I'm late.
00:26:30It took us a while to get out of the dorm.
00:26:32Yeah, we had to climb out a window.
00:26:34Huh?
00:26:35I'll explain later.
00:26:36Melody, this is Freddie.
00:26:38This is Dwayne.
00:26:39Hi.
00:26:40Hi, I'm Mickey.
00:26:41I'm Marcy.
00:26:43Hi.
00:26:44Hi.
00:26:44Hi.
00:26:47So, this is the Triad of my house.
00:26:50Yeah, this is it.
00:26:54It's nice, isn't it?
00:26:56Real nice.
00:27:03Well, is anybody hungry?
00:27:04I am.
00:27:06Come on in.
00:27:11It's nice.
00:27:25And that one right there was my family and I in Greenland.
00:27:29And you see that hat that my brother's wearing in that picture.
00:27:32Now, notice he's not wearing it in this one.
00:27:34It's because it fell off the side of the tank when he was leaning over and a killer whale ate
00:27:38it.
00:27:39And this one, and this one, I got water on the lens, but this here is the dancing dolphins, or
00:27:46it's a carcasses.
00:27:47It always confuses me.
00:27:49Yeah, me too.
00:27:50Oh, and this, here is Mount St. Helens, but it was, before it exploded, we didn't stick around for that.
00:28:00So, my old man threw out and sent me to military school, because he thought I was, like, retired or
00:28:03something.
00:28:04Well, not like, retired, but, you know, I kept on making D's in school.
00:28:08So, Kevin helped me study, so I passed my test, and so my old man would send me to military
00:28:13school, but he didn't like the haircuts.
00:28:16And then, I passed the test.
00:28:19You know, I got a B.
00:28:20And you know what happened?
00:28:22So what?
00:28:23My old man died.
00:28:25Oh, my God.
00:28:27I'm sorry.
00:28:29It's okay, it wasn't my real dad.
00:28:30It was my stepdad, and he decided to drink it.
00:28:32But, you know, it's just close to show you, you can't get appreciation from anybody.
00:28:40Anybody for Twister?
00:28:42Okay.
00:28:46Uh, hang on, girls.
00:28:48I'll be right with you.
00:28:52Hey, Dwayne.
00:28:53I told you I'd never been to Marine Land.
00:28:56My dude, Twister.
00:28:58Huh?
00:28:58You know, close bodily contact with members of the opposite sex.
00:29:02Oh, great.
00:29:03If she doesn't bore me to death, she'll impale me with her glasses.
00:29:07Back here, you guys!
00:29:12Left hand red.
00:29:14Ah!
00:29:15Ah!
00:29:16Ah!
00:29:18Oh!
00:29:20Oh!
00:29:21Oh!
00:29:22Oh!
00:29:24Oh!
00:29:25Oh!
00:29:25Oh!
00:29:25Oh!
00:29:25Oh!
00:29:26Oh!
00:29:26Oh!
00:29:29Oh!
00:29:32Oh!
00:29:34Let's stand red.
00:29:35Ah!
00:29:36Wait a minute.
00:29:37Come on!
00:29:40Come on, you guys!
00:29:45I've only learned about this, but I've never actually seen it done.
00:29:48Oh, it looks like a charm.
00:29:50This hand goes in five minutes later.
00:29:51Magga falls.
00:29:54Oh!
00:29:57Oh!
00:30:08What the fuck?
00:30:12Those sons of bitches.
00:30:14Listen to this.
00:30:16How the hell did they get past us?
00:30:18They must have gone out the window.
00:30:20From three floors up?
00:30:22They must have been pretty determined to go to that party.
00:30:24Well, they'll pay for this one.
00:30:26What are you going to do?
00:30:26I haven't quite decided.
00:30:29It's got to be something suitable.
00:30:32You're going to kick them out of the frat like you said?
00:30:35Eventually.
00:30:36But not before inflicting some cruel and unusual punishment.
00:30:40Something so emotionally and psychologically damaging,
00:30:44it will scar them for the rest of their lives.
00:30:48Sounds great.
00:30:49Let's go visit the Tri-Aida Pies.
00:30:56Now it's fun.
00:30:58More fun than a barrel full of shaved apes.
00:31:00What do you want to do now?
00:31:02I don't know.
00:31:03Maybe we can get back to the dorm pretty soon.
00:31:05Oh, come on, dude.
00:31:06Don't be a party pooper.
00:31:08Yeah, it's early.
00:31:09It's only 11.30.
00:31:11All right.
00:31:12Just a little bit longer.
00:31:14So, anybody got any cards?
00:31:17I've got a better idea.
00:31:18Why don't we have a stay on it?
00:31:21Marcy, what did I tell you about that weird stuff?
00:31:23Oh, come on.
00:31:24It'll be fun.
00:31:25It'll give me a chance to use my crystal ball.
00:31:28Crystal ball?
00:31:28Well, she bought it at a flea market.
00:31:31Well, count me out.
00:31:32I want no part of it.
00:31:34It's okay, Mickey.
00:31:35There's no harm in it.
00:31:37What's it supposed to do, anyway?
00:31:39We're seeing to another world.
00:31:41Communicate with the dead.
00:31:42I thought that's what I've been doing all night.
00:31:45Hey, Kevin, come on.
00:31:46Help me clear the table.
00:31:48Yeah.
00:31:48Oh.
00:31:50Hey, Mickey.
00:31:52What are you so worried about?
00:31:54I just don't like it, that's all.
00:31:56I mean, it's tampering with things that man is not meant to know.
00:32:01Hey, I saw that movie, too.
00:32:03Oh, you did.
00:32:06First, I have to sit through Marcy's life story and pictures
00:32:08while you two sing 15 choruses of Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
00:32:12And then I'm nearly crushed to death by Mickey the Monster
00:32:15while playing Twister,
00:32:16and now I have to put up with some spook show?
00:32:18Stop your whining.
00:32:19It beats the hell out of sitting around the dorm room
00:32:21being mentally abused by Phil and his Nazis.
00:32:23Besides, I think Marcy likes you.
00:32:26Oh, great.
00:32:27You know what they say about girls who wear glasses.
00:32:30What?
00:32:31What do they say?
00:32:33So, uh, how does this work?
00:32:35Don't ask me.
00:32:36Marcy's the expert.
00:32:38Well?
00:32:39I've never done it before.
00:32:40I've only read about it in a book.
00:32:42What book?
00:32:43The Complete Witch.
00:32:45Oh, that's it.
00:32:46I'm not sitting still for this.
00:32:48Oh, come on, Mickey.
00:32:50Don't be a spoiled sport.
00:32:52Mickey, it's okay.
00:32:53We're all here.
00:32:54Nothing's gonna happen.
00:32:55Oh, okay.
00:32:59Okay, how do we start?
00:33:01Well, first we must draw a hexagram,
00:33:04a six-pointed star on the table.
00:33:06Oh, no!
00:33:07These girls would break
00:33:09if we mark up their dining set.
00:33:11Can't we get by without it?
00:33:13I guess so.
00:33:15But we have to make the room darker.
00:33:17Two candles flanking the glow.
00:33:19Sounds romantic.
00:33:21Two candles coming up!
00:33:25No.
00:33:26I don't think we should be doing this.
00:33:31It makes me feel like I should sleep in the closet.
00:33:34Like I'm looking for my pillow.
00:33:36Like they used to hurt off vampires.
00:33:39I'm surprised she doesn't sleep
00:33:40with the whole pizza under her pillow.
00:33:47Okay.
00:33:47Now what?
00:33:48I must encant six names of power.
00:33:51Okay.
00:33:53I have to look them up.
00:33:56Where the hell did that come from?
00:33:59Okay, let's see.
00:34:01Crystals.
00:34:02Crystal gazing.
00:34:03See scrying.
00:34:06Here we go, scrying, incantations, six names of power.
00:34:13What is that? The yellow pages to the twilight zone?
00:34:16Quiet.
00:34:19Elohim, Adonai, Zeboah, Elyon, Sade, Tetra Graviton.
00:34:30Uh-oh. Everyone hold hands.
00:34:36Whatever happens, do not break the circle.
00:34:39What's going to happen?
00:34:41Now we must decide who we want to try to contact,
00:34:45so we can send a spirit guide to search for them.
00:34:48I had a dog I loved once.
00:34:51What do you want it to do, bark at you from beyond the grave?
00:34:54Hey, how about my stepdad? I can find out if he still wants me to go to military school.
00:35:00Okay, all right.
00:35:01Spirits, hear me!
00:35:03Send forth one among you who can travel across your world of darkness.
00:35:08Someone to guide us through the black abyss.
00:35:11And don't forget to bring a flashlight.
00:35:14Shhh!
00:35:21Hey, that's not my stepdad. No.
00:35:26Who are you?
00:35:28I am Omar, guardian of the greater Boogie Boogie.
00:35:33I, too, in life sought to commune with the spirit world.
00:35:37And now I am a part of it.
00:35:45What happened to you?
00:35:47There are many, very strange, weird and powerful forces in this world.
00:35:54Some are much too dangerous to know.
00:35:59And some are doing things that man was not meant to know.
00:36:05Mom, I told you.
00:36:07Even now the females among you are in very great danger.
00:36:13They have got one chance left.
00:36:16Stave their inwards to the world.
00:36:18Don't.
00:36:19Guys, I'm getting scared.
00:36:21Why are only the girls in danger?
00:36:23Because they are far more sensitive.
00:36:26They are attuned to the psychic vibrations.
00:36:29What can we do to protect ourselves?
00:36:32Well, you must pass on to dream the secret that I learned too late.
00:36:36Had I known it, I would still be alive to death.
00:36:41Well, come on.
00:36:42What is it?
00:36:43The secret is not meant for the heroes of others.
00:36:46It is to be found by victory alone.
00:36:49You must have made contact with the Christians.
00:36:53Wait.
00:36:53What about not breaking the circle?
00:36:55Do not question.
00:36:56If you do not do exactly what I say,
00:36:59then I cannot be held responsible for the evil that may be for you.
00:37:05Kevin, we have to do what he says.
00:37:08But how do you know you can trust him?
00:37:09Who would ever believe a talking head?
00:37:11You better believe me, bastard.
00:37:14It's almost too late.
00:37:15Reach out.
00:37:16Touch the Christians.
00:37:21That's it.
00:37:23Touch the Christians.
00:37:25That's it.
00:37:26And now, did you really think that I would do you harm?
00:37:43I'm sorry.
00:37:48Leave him.
00:37:49There are no socks in here.
00:37:55Leave him.
00:37:55Leave him.
00:38:04Don't try.
00:38:06Leave him.
00:38:20Melody, are you alright?
00:38:24What happened to you?
00:38:26Why, nothing.
00:38:28I don't remember a thing.
00:38:30You've got to be kidding.
00:38:31I mean, those lights, those voices.
00:38:34I mean, what the hell did happen?
00:38:36I don't know.
00:38:38It's all a blur.
00:38:39Don't worry, Joy.
00:38:41There's nothing wrong with us.
00:38:43Mickey, are you sure you're okay?
00:38:46Of course I am, silly.
00:38:48But it's so nice of you to be so concerned.
00:38:55Oh, then I know what you'd like about now.
00:38:58What?
00:38:59Something good and sweet to eat.
00:39:02How about it goes?
00:39:03It sounds like a marvelous idea.
00:39:06Something to satisfy our appetites.
00:39:10Come to think of it, I could do it right.
00:39:14Then come with me.
00:39:15I could just get you there.
00:39:19What's the matter, Kevin?
00:39:21Aren't you hungry?
00:39:25I'm hungry.
00:39:34I'm so sorry.
00:39:38Kevin, do you want to do the honors?
00:39:43Sure, I guess so.
00:39:44Careful.
00:39:45It's very, very sharp.
00:39:50Oh.
00:39:55Oh.
00:39:58Oh.
00:39:59Who wants the first piece?
00:40:03I do.
00:40:07Mmm.
00:40:09Mmm.
00:40:10It's all moist and sticky.
00:40:12It's just how I like it.
00:40:14Have some.
00:40:17Sure.
00:40:28God damn.
00:40:31God damn.
00:40:32God damn.
00:40:32I never thought they had an animal.
00:40:35Who are those kids in my house?
00:40:37Me neither.
00:40:39Oh, I'm sorry.
00:40:40You could drop some on your shirt.
00:40:42Oh, that's okay.
00:40:43No harm done.
00:40:44I'm going to clean it off for you.
00:40:46Oh, no.
00:40:48Really, I can manage.
00:40:51Let's share.
00:41:03God damn.
00:41:05Shut up.
00:41:06Oh, ah.
00:41:08Oh, yeah.
00:41:09I know every sorority girl on campus.
00:41:12They've got to be new around here.
00:41:13That's all there is to it.
00:41:16Oh, my God.
00:41:18Oh.
00:41:20Oh.
00:41:21Oh.
00:41:22Oh, my God.
00:41:23Oh.
00:41:23Those kids just lucky.
00:41:25I don't know.
00:41:26But look at it this way.
00:41:27They're new around here, right?
00:41:29We don't know them.
00:41:31So obviously they don't know us.
00:41:33They don't realize what they're missing out on.
00:41:37Good point.
00:41:38Oh.
00:41:39Now, all we've got to do is find a way to introduce ourselves.
00:41:43This guy is fabulous.
00:41:44Yeah, so is this mess.
00:41:48We'll worry about that later.
00:41:50But it's time to get ourselves cleaned up.
00:41:53Yeah, I could do for a nice, hot bubble bath.
00:41:58Do you boys want to join us?
00:42:00Well, wouldn't it be a little crowded?
00:42:04Oh, don't be silly. We can always squeeze you in.
00:42:08Yeah, you could soap our backsides.
00:42:11Oh, no.
00:42:12We wouldn't dream of intruding on your privacy.
00:42:15We wouldn't?
00:42:19Fine, you guys go ahead, tidy up. We'll wait for you down here.
00:42:24We will, but...
00:42:26Well, suit yourselves.
00:42:28You boys will wait for us, won't you?
00:42:31Yes.
00:42:31Oh, yeah.
00:42:32Don't run off.
00:42:34Oh, don't worry. We won't.
00:42:37Good. We'll be back in three shakes.
00:42:51Bubble bath.
00:42:52Bubble bath.
00:42:54Bubble bath.
00:42:54You screwed me up.
00:42:56What the hell was that all about, dude?
00:42:59Why did you turn them down?
00:43:02Why did we let you turn them down?
00:43:04Are we stupid or something?
00:43:05Listen, haven't you guys noticed something different about those girls?
00:43:09Yeah, they're actually like us.
00:43:11No, since we first got here. They've changed.
00:43:15Yeah, I thought it was my imagination.
00:43:18Maybe we're just getting used to them.
00:43:19I don't know what to happen.
00:43:21Their personalities have changed.
00:43:24And their bodies.
00:43:26Yeah, bodies.
00:43:29Whatever it was happened during that seance.
00:43:31So maybe they got possessed by something.
00:43:33Get serious.
00:43:35How else would you explain it?
00:43:36I don't want to explain it.
00:43:38I just want to enjoy it.
00:43:41Yeah, me too.
00:43:46Oh boy, I've been sleeping with Ava.
00:44:07What makes you think there's something wrong with them?
00:44:09For one thing, the way they're acting.
00:44:11And another, that guy in the crystal ball.
00:44:13He was for real.
00:44:14Unless you think we're all hallucinating.
00:44:16Okay, suppose something has happened.
00:44:18Suppose something from hell has gotten into them.
00:44:20What do you expect us to do?
00:44:22Call ghostbusters?
00:44:24I don't know.
00:44:25This is not something advanced trigonometry has prepared me for.
00:44:28Well, if they do have a bad case of demons,
00:44:31shouldn't we best clear out?
00:44:32That's not very heroic.
00:44:34No, but it is smart.
00:44:36Let me think.
00:44:38The best thing we should do is hang around
00:44:40at least until we figure out what we're up against.
00:44:41Keep an eye on them.
00:44:43Yeah.
00:44:49Too bad those nerdy balls out.
00:44:51I think you're doing fine now.
00:44:53I am!
00:44:54I am!
00:44:55I am!
00:44:56I am!
00:44:57I am!
00:45:00I am!
00:45:08I am!
00:45:12I am!
00:45:13Too stinky too!
00:45:15At least here and here and here...
00:45:26Thank you so much for not intruding on their privacy.
00:45:32Guys, this is for their own good.
00:45:34We owe it to them to make sure they're all right.
00:45:52Whoa, are they all right?
00:45:54All right!
00:45:55All right!
00:45:57Let me see.
00:46:08Holy shit!
00:46:11This is great!
00:46:12Give me a tune, dude!
00:46:13Wait a second!
00:46:28Oh, wow!
00:46:31Look at all those bubbles.
00:46:34You've had long enough.
00:46:35Oh, no way, dude.
00:46:36Find your own keyhole.
00:46:37I was here first.
00:46:39Knock it off.
00:46:39You guys don't hear us.
00:46:41So what?
00:46:42I don't think they are very shy to me.
00:46:44That's my point.
00:46:45Do you still think those are the same three girls who invited us over here tonight?
00:46:48I don't know.
00:46:49But I'm starting not to care.
00:46:51You better care.
00:46:52Something is very wrong here.
00:46:54Who knows what they're capable of?
00:46:56Well, I'd love to find out.
00:46:58That's the last thing we should do.
00:46:59Under no circumstances should any of us let them touch us.
00:47:02And you've got to stay cool.
00:47:03I'm about to suck out my shoes.
00:47:11I'm so bad.
00:47:17It's beating.
00:47:18We have no eggs.
00:47:24Alright, guys.
00:47:25Keep going.
00:47:25We've got to work out a plan.
00:47:27Oh, did you see the horos on us, baby?
00:47:29I know, I know.
00:47:30But first things first.
00:47:31We've got to get those thirds out of there.
00:47:33Oh, yeah.
00:47:34I forgot.
00:47:34Why don't we just kick the door out and drag them out?
00:47:37No.
00:47:37And risk spoiling the girl's mood.
00:47:39No, this calls for some covert activity.
00:47:42Huh?
00:47:43Snakey stuff.
00:47:44Jiminy!
00:47:45Oh, my God!
00:47:49Oh, my God!
00:47:51Oh, my God!
00:47:52Oh, my God!
00:47:53Oh, my God!
00:47:54Oh, my God!
00:47:55Oh, my God!
00:47:56Oh, my God!
00:47:58Oh, my God!
00:48:00Oh, my God!
00:48:01Oh, my God!
00:48:14I don't know how you expect me to handle it if Marcy starts coming on to me.
00:48:18Try not to think about sex.
00:48:19Well, that's easy for you to say.
00:48:22Think about something else.
00:48:23Think about baseball.
00:48:24Baseball, yeah.
00:48:25Getting to first base, second base, slamming it home, going all the way!
00:48:30On second thought, forget baseball.
00:48:32Freddy!
00:48:33Will you come help me with something in my room?
00:48:37No!
00:48:38No!
00:48:38Oh, please!
00:48:39Uh, uh, what do I do?
00:48:42Go with it.
00:48:43But remember what I said.
00:48:45Keep cool and hands off.
00:48:47Right.
00:48:51Do you think you can handle it alone?
00:48:53I hope so.
00:48:54We can't let them get us all hot and bothered.
00:48:57Speaking of hot and bothered, uh, I'm gonna go get a drink of water.
00:49:00You want anything?
00:49:01Are you alone?
00:49:01No, I'm fine.
00:49:06Do you want to play with me?
00:49:09My mommy and daddy are gone and we're all alone.
00:49:14Let's play doctor.
00:49:19Come on.
00:49:21We can do it in the backyard.
00:49:28Someone's come.
00:49:39What the hell?
00:49:41Well, this is all over.
00:49:43We're gonna have to have a long talk with those guys.
00:49:46Hey, Mickey!
00:49:47Where'd you go?
00:49:48In there.
00:49:52You, Tarzan.
00:49:54You, Jane.
00:49:58Let's get primitive.
00:50:08Now it's my turn to examine you.
00:50:10Look, uh, why don't we play a different game?
00:50:13How about hide and seek?
00:50:14Do I get to be it?
00:50:16Sure.
00:50:16Uh, you count to ten and I'll go hide.
00:50:19One, two, three, four, five, eight.
00:50:20Hold on.
00:50:20Give me a chance.
00:50:23One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
00:50:31Ready or not, here I come.
00:50:45Wait, give me.
00:50:51No—
00:51:11No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:51:16Let me go! Let me go!
00:51:19Good. Now let's go get the other two.
00:51:25You son of a bitch is getting me out of here!
00:51:28Are you still hungry?
00:51:30Not really.
00:51:31Good.
00:51:34Uh, uh, uh, I think I hear cheetah calling.
00:51:39Uh, uh, uh, uh, it's a white rhino!
00:51:43Where?
00:51:45Ah!
00:51:57Dwayne, come on out.
00:51:59I don't want to play this anymore.
00:52:04Dwayne, where are you?
00:52:07Come on out this instant!
00:52:20Okay, I'm gonna kill him.
00:52:22I'm gonna kill him as soon as I get out of here!
00:52:27Uh!
00:52:32Uh!
00:52:33Uh!
00:52:33Uh!
00:52:34Uh!
00:52:34Uh!
00:52:34Uh!
00:52:35Uh!
00:52:35Uh!
00:52:36Uh!
00:52:37Uh!
00:52:37Uh!
00:52:40Two down, one to go!
00:52:42Yeah, where's JJ?
00:52:44He must have started without her.
00:52:45Looks like I'll have to give him a good time lashing.
00:52:54Oh, you taste so good.
00:52:57Nothing but USDA prime, baby.
00:53:00Uh!
00:53:02Yeah.
00:53:03Help yourself!
00:53:07Bye, baby.
00:53:23Oh, shit.
00:53:36Hi.
00:53:39Melody, are you alright?
00:53:42Mm-hmm.
00:53:44Would you like to hear some music?
00:53:48Sure, I guess so.
00:53:50Hey!
00:53:57You're losing eyes.
00:54:07Now, he's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:54:10Hanging out with a voice at the door
00:54:13He's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:54:16Acting, watching the bullet point
00:54:18When he flexes his muscles
00:54:21Got you on the hook
00:54:24When he wiggles his head
00:54:26Got you in a bitch
00:54:29He's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:54:32Hanging out with a voice at the door
00:54:35He's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:54:38Acting much more than poor boys
00:54:52He's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:54:55Hanging out with a voice at the door
00:54:58He's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:55:01Acting much more than poor boys
00:55:03I always knew you were strange
00:55:06He's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:55:07The way your hair low rings
00:55:09The way your shorts are tight
00:55:11The way you never read Cherry Heights
00:55:14It's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:55:17Hanging out with a voice at the door
00:55:20He's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:55:23Acting much more than poor
00:55:25Santa Monica Boulevard Boys
00:55:26You never know what you'll find
00:55:28You never know what you'll find
00:55:31You never know what you'll do
00:55:34When you're God like boys instead of you
00:55:36It's a Santa Monica Boulevard Boys
00:55:39Hanging out with a voice at the door
00:55:42It's a fan of Monica Boulevard Boys
00:55:45He's acting much more than poor
00:55:47Santa Monica Boys
00:55:49I want you
00:55:53Santa Monica Boys
00:55:55Please come back
00:55:58Santa Monica Boys
00:56:00Santa Monica Boys
00:56:01Come on
00:56:02Let's go
00:56:10Boulevard Boys
00:56:16Uh, hi
00:56:24Well, hello
00:56:26Where did you come from?
00:56:28Oh, me?
00:56:29I'm the plumber
00:56:31Somebody called about Leaky Fawcett
00:56:33You don't say
00:56:35Uh, yeah
00:56:36Normally I'd ask him to bring it in
00:56:39But
00:56:40Since I was in the neighborhood
00:56:42You thought you'd make a house call?
00:56:44Yeah
00:56:45Something like that
00:56:46Uh, did you remember to bring your snake?
00:56:50Oh, um
00:56:51I never go anywhere without my snake
00:56:54Oh, good
00:56:56Cause while you're here
00:56:57I'd like for you to check out my pipes
00:57:00Oh, I'd love to
00:57:09Well, surprise, surprise
00:57:11If it isn't the president of the Hitler Youth
00:57:13This time you've gone too far
00:57:15That's where you're wrong, friend
00:57:16It's you three who have gone too far
00:57:19Disobeying a direct order from a senior fraternity brother?
00:57:23What would the manual say about this?
00:57:25You know where you can stick that manual, dude?
00:57:27Where's the rest of the goon squad?
00:57:29Oh, I imagine they're making the acquaintance of the triad of pies even as we speak
00:57:33The girls?
00:57:34You son of a bitch
00:57:35Don't worry, we'll make your apologies for having to leave early
00:57:39Listen, Phil
00:57:39I know we broke the rules
00:57:41We deserve what's coming to us
00:57:42But I have gotta warn you about those girls
00:57:44Oh, what's the matter with them?
00:57:46They got a disease?
00:57:47Worse than that, dickhead
00:57:48They're possessed
00:57:51Yeah, right
00:57:52We're serious
00:57:53There was a seance with this crystal ball
00:57:55And they started acting strange
00:57:57The only thing strange is why three gorgeous dolls would waste their time on losers like you
00:58:04But never fear
00:58:05We'll take care of that
00:58:06Stay away from them
00:58:08They are evil
00:58:23You're so big and strong
00:58:28Have you ever done any acting?
00:58:32Me?
00:58:34No, what do you mean?
00:58:36Cause I wanna give you a bit part
00:58:40Oh, that sounds great
00:58:43A bit what?
00:58:45Ah!
00:58:47Holy shit!
00:58:49Not that!
00:58:52I don't care whether you believe us or not
00:58:55I'm just telling you to stay away from those girls
00:58:57You're not in a position to tell me anything
00:58:59It's your ass, dude
00:59:00Yeah, well as much as I'd love to stand around and listen to ghost stories all night
00:59:05I'm afraid I must leave you gentlemen
00:59:07You see, I'm not too keen on sloppy seconds
00:59:09Why you, I oughta
00:59:12I'll be back to settle it with you later
00:59:16Goonhead!
00:59:17Boogerhead!
00:59:23Mine got away
00:59:27Mine didn't
00:59:28Mine didn't
00:59:46Don't tell me you're the maid
00:59:48Don't tell me you're the maid
00:59:50Don't tell me you're another plumber
00:59:53He's cute
00:59:54If I knew the eight of pies were this friendly
00:59:57I'd have stopped by sooner
00:59:58Mm-hmm
01:00:00We'll save some for Marcy
01:00:02Who's Marcy?
01:00:04I am
01:00:06My goodness
01:00:07Don't
01:00:07You look young and innocent
01:00:15Great!
01:00:16Maybe next time you can knock really something heavy onto my head
01:00:18Quit complaining and try and help us out here
01:00:20Yeah, we're all in this together
01:00:21Don't remind me
01:00:22Try and shift around behind me and undo these ropes
01:00:24If Houdini here would get his foot out of my ass, maybe I could
01:00:27Hey!
01:00:28Watch what you're grabbing
01:00:29How can I?
01:00:31Help me!
01:00:32I think I've got it
01:00:34I don't think I've got it
01:00:42This is my room
01:00:45Who's your decorator?
01:00:46Marcy did it all by herself
01:00:48She likes to collect things
01:00:51Sounds like fun
01:00:53Have a seat
01:00:54I'm gonna slip into something comfortable
01:00:58You girls like to play with things too?
01:01:00Yeah
01:01:03What have you got for us to play with?
01:01:07Something firm
01:01:08Hard
01:01:11Throbbing
01:01:11I think I can manage something like that
01:01:15Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
01:01:20It's party time
01:01:21Hey, what's going on?
01:01:23Well, you asked us if we'd like to play with things
01:01:27You guys
01:01:28Yeah, but those are some serious looking toys
01:01:30You're not playing on any rough stuff, are you?
01:01:32What's the matter, big boy?
01:01:34Can't you take it?
01:01:35Hey, I can take anything
01:01:37As long as it doesn't hurt too much
01:01:39Baby, you always hurt the ones you love
01:01:42Hurry, hurry, hurry
01:01:44That's right
01:01:45Whoa, now
01:01:46Hold on, girl
01:01:47Can't we talk this over?
01:01:49Ow!
01:01:49Ow!
01:01:50Fun, fun, but
01:01:51Ah!
01:01:52No, no, no!
01:01:53Ah!
01:01:53Whoa, uh-oh
01:01:54Ah!
01:01:55Oh, no, man
01:01:57Hey!
01:01:57Ah!
01:01:58No, no, no, not in the face!
01:02:01Why didn't you tell us you had a Swiss Army knife in your jockey shorts?
01:02:05Sorry, dude, I forgot
01:02:06Forget about it, let's go!
01:02:12Hey, that sounds like Phil's voice
01:02:14Sounds like it's coming from down here
01:02:16Come on
01:02:23Wait!
01:02:24Shut up!
01:02:24Aren't you getting tired of this?
01:02:26No, wait a minute, I can go on all night
01:02:28Please, stop!
01:02:30I'll do anything you want!
01:02:31Anything?
01:02:32Yes!
01:02:33Just don't tell me
01:02:34Can't do it
01:02:35You can't?
01:02:37No, you might try to get away and spoil our fun
01:02:40Fun?
01:02:41You call this fun?
01:02:42What kind of girls are you anyway?
01:02:45Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
01:02:45Why, what kind of girls do you think we are?
01:02:48That's right up
01:02:49That's right up
01:02:50That's correct one
01:02:51Ah, that's more like it
01:02:57What have we got in here?
01:02:59Oh, something I know you'll all enjoy
01:03:02I'll bet
01:03:04Don't fight over it
01:03:06There's plenty to go around
01:03:08We were hoping you'd say that
01:03:12I'll bet
01:03:16Oh, shit
01:03:18Oh, Jesus
01:03:18What have you gotten in here?
01:03:20Oh, shit
01:03:22Oh, shit
01:03:23Oh, shit
01:03:25Oh, shit
01:03:32Oh, shit
01:03:38Oh, shit
01:03:40Oh, shit
01:03:41Please, don't
01:03:43Holy cow! Did you see what happened?
01:03:45Yeah, she bit him in the cojones and that was the end of him.
01:03:47He just disintegrated.
01:03:49They should have listened to us. They sure made an ash out of him.
01:03:52We have got to do something about this.
01:03:54Yeah, but what? Can you imagine telling this to the cops?
01:03:57I know. And we can't do anything to hurt the girls either.
01:03:59Remember, it's not their fault. It's whatever's inside them.
01:04:02Well, maybe we should get their stomachs pumped.
01:04:04That won't work. We need an exorcist or something.
01:04:07That's it. That's what'll do it.
01:04:09I mean, just where are we going to find one?
01:04:11In the yellow pages? Don't be a moron.
01:04:14I think what we need to do is contact a church or a synagogue.
01:04:18Something like that.
01:04:18Don't you think it's kind of late to be going around waking up priests?
01:04:21This is an emergency, isn't it?
01:04:23Here it is. Exorcist. What? Let me see.
01:04:27Lanchester Perrin. Exorcist. Specializing in demons, hobgoblins, and poltergeists.
01:04:32Satisfaction guaranteed. 24-hour service. All major credit cards accepted.
01:04:37Only in California.
01:04:39Someone's coming! Grab the phone.
01:04:54Jesus, that was close.
01:04:55Quick, dial the phone before someone else comes.
01:05:01Good, it's ringing. Hello? Yes, I'm in need of an exorcism. No, no, not me personally.
01:05:08Demon possession, I think. Urgent, yeah, I'd say it was urgent.
01:05:13No, tomorrow afternoon is too late. Can't you come tonight?
01:05:17Time and a half after midnight?
01:05:19All right, look, never mind the cost. Just get over to 943 Sorority Row.
01:05:24And meet us in the garage, okay? Thanks. He's on his way.
01:05:29Great. Let's get out of here.
01:05:44Yes?
01:05:45You called for an exorcist?
01:05:47Yeah.
01:05:48Lancaster Perrin.
01:05:49Thank goodness you're here. My name's Kevin, this is Freddy, and this is Dwayne.
01:05:52Nice to meet you. Where's the spook?
01:05:55In the house. There are three of them.
01:05:57No one told me anything about three. That's going to cost extra.
01:06:00Okay, fine. Wait a minute. How do we know this guy's for real?
01:06:04You doubt my credibility? I'll have you know I'm a leading authority of the supernatural in North America.
01:06:10Second only to Von Helsing and the entire world.
01:06:13Calm down, dude. Don't piss this guy off. He's our only hope.
01:06:16He looks like a wacko to me. What do you expect from an exorcist who takes American Express?
01:06:21Besides, what choice have we got? Heart pills?
01:06:26Breath mints. I had shawarma for dinner.
01:06:29Let's get started.
01:06:30Look, now before we begin, I must know some of the details of the age and sex of the possessed.
01:06:36About 19 or 20. All females.
01:06:39And when was it that they displayed the first signs of abnormality?
01:06:45Earlier this evening we were playing a game, using a crystal ball.
01:06:48That's nothing to be playing with.
01:06:51I remember a 12-year-old back east. Couldn't keep her hands off the Ouija board.
01:06:57The next thing you knew, she was talking like a sailor, spitting up pea soup, and jacking off with religious
01:07:03artifacts.
01:07:04That sounds familiar. Were you involved with that?
01:07:06Was I involved? I performed the exorcism myself.
01:07:10But did I get any credit for it? Did I get any royalties? No.
01:07:14I didn't even get invited to the preview. Ungrateful pastors.
01:07:17Father, let's get back to business.
01:07:20I'm not your father, you little shit. I'm not even a priest.
01:07:25Let's calm down. Take it easy, dude.
01:07:27Now, where were we? Oh, yes. And in what ways have these spirits manifested themselves?
01:07:33Well, they seem to be pretty horny.
01:07:36Increased sexual appetite.
01:07:38I'll say. They're like animals.
01:07:40Well, that may be a number of things. What else?
01:07:44Well, they disintegrated our friend.
01:07:48Actually, that's not true.
01:07:50They didn't disintegrate?
01:07:51No, he wasn't our friend. In fact, he was kind of an asshole.
01:07:54He sure was.
01:07:56Well, how did this happen?
01:07:57Well, they bit him.
01:08:00They bit his dork and he crumbled to dust.
01:08:02Oh, my God.
01:08:04I know. It's pretty disgusting.
01:08:06Well, no, that's not what I mean.
01:08:08This is no ordinary demon you have here.
01:08:10This is a succubus.
01:08:12A succ-a-what?
01:08:13A succubus.
01:08:14It is an evil spirit who seeks to satisfy its incredible lust with mortal men, destroying them in the process.
01:08:21That sounds like it, all right. You mean there are three of them?
01:08:24There's probably only one.
01:08:25But it can possess a body of many at the same time.
01:08:29How do we get rid of it?
01:08:30First, I must exercise it from the girls' bodies.
01:08:34Otherwise, if any harm comes to the succubus, it would affect them as well.
01:08:38And once it's out of them?
01:08:40Then we must fight it in its true form.
01:08:42That's easier said than done.
01:08:45Now, the succubus, like its male counterpart, the incubus, is of the lowest order of demons.
01:08:51It's thick-skinned and stupid.
01:08:53But they've been known to put up quite a battle.
01:08:55What should we do?
01:08:56I will need all of you on hand to assist me.
01:08:58I'm not going into this alone. This is an ornery mother.
01:09:01I will need a variety of herbs.
01:09:03Mickey's got a spice rack in the kitchen. I'll go get her.
01:09:07We should also have something to confine the spirits with.
01:09:10They won't sit still for an exorcism.
01:09:13I think I saw some rope back here.
01:09:16What do you want me to do?
01:09:17Well, you may have the most important job of all.
01:09:19Now, someone has to distract the demon while we secure it.
01:09:24You mean be a decoy?
01:09:26No way, not me.
01:09:28You get yourself another boy.
01:09:35Good. No one home.
01:09:38I can't get out of this alive.
01:09:42Yoo-hoo!
01:09:44Anyone home?
01:09:46Come out, come out, wherever you are.
01:09:49Where are you, my little succubuses?
01:09:52Does that succubi?
01:10:05Step into my parlor, said this spider to the fly.
01:10:10Looks like the prodigal pledge has returned.
01:10:15And just in time for dessert.
01:10:19Look, girls, can we talk this over?
01:10:22Gotta run!
01:10:22No way, they try to kill me!
01:10:24AHHHHHHHHH!
01:10:26Here they come!
01:10:29No way!
01:10:40Yes!
01:10:46You want amitto day, sailor?
01:10:49How long is your burden made to be a doctor of battleship?
01:10:55Come on Hanson, grab your hands.
01:10:58How can you stand it?
01:11:00Stand by.
01:11:02Untie us. We'll take you all along.
01:11:07We'll make you feel like real men.
01:11:10That? How can you listen to it?
01:11:12The first rule of exorcism is never fraternize with demons.
01:11:16No matter what they say, always ignore them.
01:11:19Give it to me.
01:11:22Give me your throbbing python of love.
01:11:26Yes baby, let me do a lure on your wing line.
01:11:30Isn't it hard?
01:11:31I mean, isn't it hard to ignore them?
01:11:35It takes years of practice and almost superhuman discipline to resist their wiles.
01:11:41Of course, if you have an old war wound like mine, it can be pretty easy.
01:11:49Be gone! Hear me, demons!
01:11:52I exorcise you for the bodies of these innocent ones.
01:11:57Blow it out your ass!
01:12:01Linger no longer in these mortal shells.
01:12:03I cast you out, didn't you mean?
01:12:06I don't bother wearing an army, boo.
01:12:09I don't think they're taking this in the proper spirits.
01:12:12I wonder if it's gonna work.
01:12:14Get out of here, you old bat!
01:12:17It's the first of the month and I'm kicking you out!
01:12:19Hit the bricks!
01:12:20Be gone!
01:12:21Never duck your towels again!
01:12:24Why don't you sit on that thing?
01:12:27Scram!
01:12:28Or are you too ashamed to show your ugly face?
01:12:32Scram!
01:12:33Scram!
01:12:42You did it!
01:12:44Well, that wasn't as hard as I thought.
01:12:48Oh, dudes, what's happening?
01:12:51It's not over yet.
01:12:52I thought you destroyed it.
01:12:54I told you.
01:12:56Getting rid of a succubus isn't that easy.
01:12:58Now that it doesn't inhabit human host anymore,
01:13:02it's going to try to destroy every soul it comes in contact with before moving on.
01:13:07Whose souls are you talking about?
01:13:09Ours.
01:13:09You never mention that part.
01:13:11Oh, shh.
01:13:12It's too late now.
01:13:13Look!
01:13:25Who dares to challenge me?
01:13:30I dare to challenge you.
01:13:33I and all the forces of good.
01:13:42Well, so much of the forces of good.
01:13:45Let's get out of here.
01:13:48Oh, Christ, it's locked.
01:13:51No one will leave here.
01:13:53You will all die.
01:13:56So long as I live and breathe, you won't harm another living soul.
01:14:00Hideous hag from hell.
01:14:02Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
01:14:09Well, this ought to hurt you, you douchebag.
01:14:12Give me the herbs.
01:14:15Why?
01:14:18Not you!
01:14:22It didn't work.
01:14:24The potion didn't work!
01:14:26You think your backyard hoodoo is any matter for me?
01:14:31Get in line, boys!
01:14:32You think you're going on a one-way trip to Lucifer Land?
01:14:36Kevin, the crystal is the source of her power.
01:14:40Destroy it and she'll be trapped forever in limbo.
01:14:43Who asked you, sister?
01:14:45Didn't your mommy ever teach you not to be a paddle table?
01:14:48That's it!
01:14:50We've got to smash that crystal.
01:14:52You and what army?
01:14:54Just who do you think you're screwing around with?
01:14:57I don't know who you are, but you look like one gnarly old bitch to me.
01:15:02Kevin!
01:15:04You regret that remark shortstop!
01:15:07Says you!
01:15:08Yeah, why don't you take your face in for a retread?
01:15:10Now you're really pissing me out!
01:15:14I'll fry your lungs with tempura!
01:15:16Who's first?
01:15:18Kevin, remember the winning homecoming play?
01:15:21I sure do.
01:15:2429, 45, 17, hike, hike!
01:15:42Ah!
01:15:54Ow!
01:15:57Way to go, dude!
01:16:00My hero!
01:16:03Did you feel any different?
01:16:05No, not at all.
01:16:07I just can't remember anything that happened.
01:16:09Me either.
01:16:11I got this funny taste in my mouth.
01:16:14Me too.
01:16:15Oh, don't worry about that.
01:16:17It's all over now.
01:16:18And at least a couple of good things came out of it.
01:16:21Really? Like what?
01:16:23We'll tell you later.
01:16:27Hey, wait, don't go.
01:16:28I have to. I'll send you my bill.
01:16:30Why don't you stick around?
01:16:32Yeah, there might be some pie left.
01:16:34No, I really have to go.
01:16:36I have an appointment at dawn tomorrow.
01:16:37A vampire staking in the valley.
01:16:40You don't want to be late for that.
01:16:42Lord, too early either.
01:16:45Go.
01:16:46Bye.
01:16:50What do we do now?
01:16:52Well, I don't know if I mentioned it before,
01:16:55but does anybody like to play Twister?
01:16:58Twister!
01:16:59Yeah!
01:17:05Right, quick, green.
01:17:09You're doing this off perfect.
01:17:11Yeah.
01:17:12Fourth step.
01:17:12This isn't for...
01:17:13know...
01:17:13honey, support me.
01:17:14What am I doing?
01:17:15How are you?
01:17:16This isn't for it?
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