- 2 days ago
Gogglebox - Season 27 Episode 1
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00:00It's on the blink Mary. Literally. It's not igniting. It's not igniting Mary. Turn it off. Turn it on again. Turn the machine off. At the wall. Wait a few seconds. Turn it back on again. What a time to run for the boiler to get on the blink Mary. The middle of winter. With snow forecast.
00:25No. What an entrance. I'm living for this. Taser in. Oh. We don't talk like this all. I don't think so. Hey. Oh here we go. What is that? Oh shut up. This doesn't look real. I don't think it is. A framboisier. What's a framboisier? Oh I knew it. No. This looks dodgy don't it. Does. Why is it dodgy? This is going to go down so badly. None of us learn do it.
00:55I hate you. Must remember that bellend. This is what everyone came for. The alarm bells are ringing with me Mary. At least the nipples are covered. Yeah. It's half the battle.
01:08In the wink we said a fond farewell to snooker legend John Virgo. We enjoyed lots of great telly. They were wheeling out the big brains on Channel 4. Please welcome Susie Dent.
01:21So lovely. Lovely to see you. Of course the woman from Countdown's in this. She is really smart to be fair. But although at the same time doesn't she just look up dictionary like.
01:39That's right. All she does is flip through the dictionary. Yeah. And she goes right. Yeah that is a real word.
01:43We can do that. I can do that yeah. Will Smith found himself in a hole on Disney Plus.
01:52The goal of the expedition is to find new species. Not just for the sake of finding new species. You know we're not collecting stamps here.
02:01His name's Prof. That means he's a professor.
02:04There's a joke at my work that I'm a professor. Because one time I filled out a form and I put prof. Instead of miss.
02:18And Olivia Atwood was showing us how to get filthy rich on ITV2.
02:23It's in the millions. Wow.
02:25I don't know why you don't do any of this. You'd make a thought tune.
02:28You've always said that. You could do a chat line.
02:32I'd be good at it. I know you said.
02:34Hey Lee look I've already got. I'll show you. Ready.
02:37What?
02:40Taking your clothes off. What?
02:43Hello sir. Yes.
02:45What would you like to do?
02:47Oh you'd like me to take my dress off?
02:50Yes okay.
02:53Oh the zip's got a bit stuck.
02:56Hold on a moment.
02:58Right. The dress is coming off now sir.
03:04Isn't it good?
03:06Oh I've got my finger stuck.
03:17In Leeds.
03:19Where did it all go wrong for you on Saturday night? Because you seemed alright at the brunch.
03:22I think it was when I had them two spicy margaritas back to back.
03:25One spicy margarita after the other.
03:27I just love a spicy margs.
03:29Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
03:31Well you went absolutely mad with me.
03:33I bought you a pink gin and tonic and you were going no you know I wanted spicy margarita.
03:37I wanted spicy margarita. Why have you bought me pink gin?
03:39Yeah. And so I necked that gin that you bought me and then trotted off to the bar and bought myself two spicy margaritas.
03:46Not one but two spicy margaritas.
03:48Yeah.
03:49Just to spite me.
03:50Yeah. And then I drunk one spicy margarita after the other.
03:54And I actually think that after that point of necking those spicy margaritas that's when the night becomes blurry.
04:02That's when it spiralled.
04:04That's when it spiralled yeah.
04:05You rang me at two in the morning and I thought peace off.
04:08On Thursday night the latest bunch of business hopefuls were suited and booted and back in the firing line on BBC One.
04:17I tell you what I watched episode one last week's shit show.
04:20I wish I was actually clever enough or had the brain to invent something that they would love but that would just never happen.
04:29You're fired.
04:32We had to do a business plan when we took the pub.
04:35Oh did you?
04:35Yeah. Yeah well I never did it.
04:38I didn't.
04:38I wouldn't know how to start a business plan.
04:40Where would you start? How would you start a business plan?
04:42You write it down.
04:43Oh I know that you silly bastard.
04:45In the programme large sugar had a playful way of introducing the next task.
04:53Are you sitting comfortably?
04:55We should begin.
04:58Oh it's Tony.
04:59Not a large sugar Tony.
05:01For your next task I want you to create a story for four to six year olds.
05:07Oh that is such a fun task.
05:10You need to produce a book and an audio version to go with it.
05:14Okay an audio version I think would be tricky because there's no visual aid there.
05:18No. No. That's the audio bit.
05:21This is a good one. Surely there can't go far wrong with this.
05:24Writing a kid's book and recording it.
05:26Exactly.
05:27I've got a story idea I think.
05:28Next for the boys.
05:29So mine is Gino Giraffe.
05:31He's on a spaceship and his whole end goal is basically to have a poo.
05:34Oh great.
05:36To have a poo?
05:37Correct.
05:37No. Get him out.
05:39Nobody wants to talk about excrement.
05:40This boy called Astro. Five years old.
05:42Goes into space and essentially he's trying to find the perfect toilet.
05:45Why is he all based around toilets?
05:48He's trying to find the perfect toilet in space.
05:51Which mum and dad's going to enjoy reading that story to their child?
05:55One, two, three. Poo.
05:56Oh my god. This is only going to go one way.
06:03Down the toilet.
06:04Yeah.
06:05Next chapter for Marcus's boys.
06:07Please Rue, can I do a poo in your loo?
06:10Oh my days.
06:11Do you want to do for Doodoo Land?
06:13Dun, dun.
06:15No.
06:17Don't do that.
06:18You're taking the mix.
06:20Is this for real?
06:21Yeah.
06:21Let's go.
06:21Okay.
06:24Dun, dun.
06:25Is this seriously what The Apprentice has come to?
06:33Central London.
06:35Are we excited?
06:36Yeah!
06:37No.
06:38Oh my god.
06:39What are the kids going to say?
06:40Oh dearie me.
06:41Right, this is your audience, isn't it?
06:42If the kids like it, you've got some testimonials.
06:44He is not scared of any planet in the universe.
06:49Except for one.
06:51Oh Jane.
06:52Look at the faces.
06:53Oh the bud.
06:55Doodoo Land.
06:57Dun, dun.
06:58Pfft.
07:03Not a one is laughing.
07:05But what did people think of the adventure that Astro went on?
07:07That it isn't that funny.
07:12That it isn't that funny.
07:14Do you know what?
07:15Kids are brutal.
07:16They are.
07:17Do you want to hear it one more time?
07:18No.
07:19No.
07:20No.
07:20No?
07:22Once was enough.
07:24I can't like a cigarette.
07:25I prefer the humour of a PG Woodhouse.
07:295 p.m.
07:32Arriving some of Britain's biggest booksellers.
07:35Oh no.
07:35Oh God.
07:37This will be so cringy.
07:38Oh I can't wait.
07:39We are here to present to you Astro and the three aliens.
07:44What the fuck?
07:45No.
07:45Giant shit on his head.
07:48Doodoo Land.
07:50Dun, dun.
07:51Oh my God.
07:55That's exactly how it's gone down.
07:59They've actually narrated how their book's gone down.
08:05In Hull.
08:06Are you glad to be back?
08:07Does it look as though I'm glad to be back?
08:09Did you enjoy it?
08:10Yes I did.
08:11Oh good.
08:11I enjoyed my break.
08:13Where did I go?
08:14Best friends Jenny and Lee.
08:17Candy.
08:18No not candy.
08:19What is it?
08:21Uh.
08:23India.
08:24Ah.
08:25Yeah.
08:27Go.
08:28Oh go away.
08:29Oh yeah go away.
08:30Yeah.
08:32Go away.
08:34I'm surprised.
08:34I'm surprised you won't ask me where did I get it from.
08:37Where did you get it from?
08:37Fucking India.
08:38Where do you think?
08:39Manchester.
08:40Oh yeah.
08:42On Sunday night we settled in for a light hearted game of tactics and trivia on ITV.
08:48The floor.
08:49We can't have an alcoholic drink on a Sunday.
08:53It's only one.
08:56You better drink it.
08:57Famous last word.
08:59I'm Rob Brydon and this is the floor.
09:02Hello Rob.
09:02He looks like a koala.
09:04Let's bring in our players.
09:05Oh they're all happy to be there.
09:09Oh my lord.
09:12Oh I think I quite like this already.
09:14Have they all got a box?
09:15They've all got their own box.
09:16So you choose your subject depending on your specialism.
09:21So like you might choose I don't know Aston Villa.
09:23Okay.
09:24Or pop music.
09:25Yes.
09:26And what would your specialist subject be?
09:28Food.
09:28Absolutely.
09:30Hello everybody.
09:3249 of you remain.
09:3549.
09:36And you're all still in with a chance of winning that huge jackpot of 50,000 pounds.
09:44It's not bad for a Sunday afternoon work.
09:46No.
09:47Let's light up the floor.
09:49What a strapline.
09:52Here we go.
09:53Any second.
09:54Oh.
09:56Slay.
09:58Slay.
09:59Clacky.
10:00What does that mean?
10:02Slay bells.
10:03It must mean S-L-A-Y.
10:05He's going to kill the contestants.
10:08His rivals.
10:09Slay them.
10:10Now then George.
10:11Your category is US states.
10:13Oh.
10:15I've been in a few states.
10:17But not in many US states.
10:18So there's four.
10:20Four states.
10:22I think there's at least 60.
10:23America.
10:24America.
10:24New York.
10:25You're going to be duelling on a category belonging to one of your neighbours.
10:29America, New York and then there's another two.
10:31What is our...
10:32You're lying to me.
10:33I'm not.
10:34But George wasn't playing his own category.
10:37He was about to play Aisha's category.
10:39The category is famous hair.
10:42I don't think Dad would get very far with this one.
10:44No.
10:44No.
10:45No.
10:45No.
10:48I don't think I have a problem.
10:50Claudia Winkleman.
10:51Claudia Winkleman.
10:53Long, black and shiny.
10:54No dandruff.
10:57Mr T.
10:58BA Baraka's.
10:59I ain't getting no playing fool.
11:00Mr T.
11:02I've woke up like Mr T and all my hair shrinks.
11:04We've all woken up like Mr T.
11:06Well not all of us but us people of colour.
11:09Harry Winkleman.
11:11No.
11:11No.
11:12Harry Winkleman.
11:13Prince Harry.
11:16Prince Harry.
11:17I mean, they've done him wonders there because they've clearly used an old picture.
11:22Yeah.
11:23It's like orange smoke on top now.
11:27Bob Rob, get out of my pub!
11:30His cinders.
11:31Dolly Parton.
11:32Oh, Dolly Parton!
11:34I thought it's Peggy from EastEnders.
11:38Oh, I know. What's her name?
11:42What's her name? Have you seen the beard?
11:44Oh, no.
11:46Jason Momoa.
11:47No, I didn't know that one.
11:49I was going to be like, Jesus?
11:51I was going to say the one that's the best!
11:55Posh Spice.
11:57No, that's not Posh Spice. It's Baby Spice.
12:01Mel B?
12:02Nope.
12:03Diana Ross.
12:04Mel B?
12:05Mel B?
12:06Oh.
12:07Oh.
12:08Told you, pal.
12:09I'm sorry.
12:10They're exaggerating her hair a little bit there.
12:12Cut her.
12:13No, she doesn't look like that.
12:15Prince?
12:16Prince?
12:17That's a woman.
12:19I was going to say Prince William's woman.
12:23Prince William's woman?
12:26In this day and age, Amani.
12:29In this day and age, she's only his woman.
12:33No, I forgot her name.
12:34She's only his woman.
12:36This is what I like to call an ironing show.
12:38You know, if you're doing a bit of ironing, you bang this on, don't you?
12:41Yeah, it used to be the EastEnders omnibus.
12:43Yeah.
12:44But now you can just bang the floor on.
12:46Yeah.
12:47Get the kids' uniforms boshed out.
12:48Yeah.
12:49Done.
12:50It's not going to put you off.
12:51No.
12:52But it's nice to have one in the background.
12:53In Manchester.
12:54Me mate's getting married on Friday and I'm really looking forward to it.
13:07But me mate's a vegetarian.
13:09That means vegetarian food at the wedding.
13:12No.
13:13Surely you'll do some normal options.
13:15It's veggie food.
13:17The Malones.
13:18The thing is, I like vegetables and that.
13:21No issue with vegetables.
13:23But I do like a good, like, bit of chicken or something.
13:27Eh, Sean?
13:28You never know.
13:29You might go.
13:30The food might be that good.
13:31You might become a vegetarian.
13:33Ah, lad.
13:35Can't see that.
13:36Oh, yeah.
13:37You can be the one that turns up.
13:38Who's the guest that's turned up with a wedding present at a packet of pork pies and so she's
13:42Rose here?
13:43They're all going to be around it, aren't they?
13:44Don't give him my days.
13:46This week, Disney Plus was pushing a Hollywood A-lister to the limit on an epic new adventure
13:52series.
13:53Pole to Pole with Will Smith-Shirl.
13:55He's going from the North Pole right down to the South Pole.
13:58He's walking, is he?
14:00Walking?
14:01Where is the North Pole?
14:05I don't think you can live there.
14:06You can't.
14:07I can't.
14:08Santa lives there.
14:09Yeah, just Santa.
14:10No one else.
14:11I don't think I'd want to go pole to pole with Will Smith or toe to toe.
14:18You know, Chris Rock found that out, didn't he?
14:21Did you ever have one of those friends?
14:23Why is he that close to the camera like that?
14:25That, like, gets you in trouble all the time?
14:28Oh, I was that friend.
14:30Yeah.
14:32How does he know?
14:34I remember my very first snake bite.
14:36You never forget your first.
14:37What do you mean?
14:38How many snake bites have you had in your life?
14:40Has he been in the shop?
14:41No, darling.
14:43Over the last 25 years, I've had 27 snake bites.
14:4627?
14:4724 broken bones, 400 stitches.
14:49Oh, my God.
14:50Two stingray stings and one near fatal scorpion sting in the Amazon.
14:54Bloody hell, that's like my summer holidays.
14:57Have a doll then.
14:58I hope you've got good health insurance.
15:01Brian has us in the middle of the Amazon.
15:05And you want to go there?
15:07Yeah, not necessarily with Brian.
15:10No.
15:11Now, Brian thinks there are creatures here that could hold the secret to saving millions of lives.
15:17That's worth looking for.
15:18Oh, wow.
15:19Let them stay there.
15:20Stay there with your secret.
15:22We are arriving.
15:23The main goal of our expedition is just there.
15:26What's the main?
15:27But today we are not going up.
15:29We are going down.
15:30We're going up.
15:31No, I couldn't be going down.
15:32I'm terrible.
15:33When I got stuck behind that woman in the Great Pyramids that year, I'll never forget it.
15:37You know what that means in Spanish?
15:38What?
15:39The ball.
15:40We are going down.
15:41About 20-storey building.
15:4220-storey building?
15:43Isn't there a lift?
15:44See you on the bottom.
15:45You go first.
15:46Set some lights up and a little fire.
15:47Imagine it.
15:48I'm going down.
15:49I'm going down.
15:50I'm going down.
15:51I'm going down.
15:52I'm going down.
15:53I'm going down.
15:54I'm going down.
15:55I'm going down.
15:56About 20-storey building.
15:5720-storey building?
15:58Yeah.
15:59Isn't there a lift?
16:00See you on the bottom.
16:01You go first.
16:03Set some lights up and a little fire.
16:06Imagine if down there there's a cure for cancer.
16:10He's shooting for the stars.
16:11Fair play to him.
16:12Oh, I'd go.
16:13I'd go.
16:14There's a cure for cancer.
16:15Oh, please let there be.
16:16I'll call my help.
16:17It wasn't long before Brian and Will's poking about would unearth some creepy crawlies.
16:23Oh, hey.
16:24Oh, that's a nice one.
16:26Oh, wow.
16:27Oh, my God.
16:29What the fuck?
16:31Sorry, Vin.
16:32Oh, my God.
16:34I'm not looking.
16:36I'm not looking.
16:37We're going to need a bigger jug.
16:39Here we go.
16:41Oh, no.
16:42Oh, my God.
16:43It's the size of a hand.
16:44Shouch.
16:45I'll tell you what.
16:46That's got airier legs than me.
16:48Yeah, that thing is insane looking.
16:50Oh, my gosh.
16:51Could you imagine that in your bedroom?
16:52So, what do they do now?
16:54They've got the animals.
16:55So, how do they extract the venom?
16:58Because them animals aren't going to give it freely, are they?
17:01So, we're going to milk the biggest of the tarantulas.
17:04Milking tarantulas.
17:05Go on.
17:07How long does the spider stay knocked out?
17:11I try to do as minimal as possible.
17:13So, it's usually out for about five minutes, ten minutes at most.
17:16So, you should hurry up.
17:17Spider sedation?
17:19Well, I never.
17:20It takes three of us just to wrangle the animal.
17:23Uh-oh.
17:24Oh, it's just so big.
17:28All right.
17:29So, first, Amalia is going to pop open one of the fangs.
17:31Mm-hmm.
17:33Hey!
17:34Whoa.
17:35Fucking hell!
17:37Stay to that!
17:39Jesus!
17:40Are you getting any venom?
17:42Oh, nice big drop.
17:43Look at that.
17:44Oh, there it comes!
17:45Look at that!
17:46Let's milk it.
17:47There we go.
17:48Oh, that was a good amount.
17:49Oh, my God.
17:50Look at that.
17:51The spider's waking up rapidly.
17:53Oh.
17:54Oh, it's waking up now, Lee.
17:55Oh, shit.
17:56Rapidly?
17:57Fucking hell.
17:58Knock him out, man.
17:59Get some gas on him.
18:00Your first venom extraction.
18:02Look at all that.
18:04Will drinks it.
18:06We're going to do some shots down here, I know what.
18:11In Durham.
18:12When I go food shopping, because I go food shopping now.
18:15Only done it twice.
18:16You must be starving.
18:17In the whole six months I've lived there.
18:19Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
18:22Well, that's when I done that week of Hello Fresh, didn't I?
18:25Oh.
18:26Never do that again.
18:28Hated it.
18:30It was the worst week of my life.
18:32There was tomato puree up me walls.
18:34I hated every second.
18:38I'm being devious.
18:39I put a complaint in.
18:40Didra, please send a chef with this next time.
18:45On Sunday night, ITV2 was showing us new ways to make a living.
18:51Right.
18:52Get your notepad out.
18:53What?
18:54Living Upward.
18:55How to get filthy rich.
18:56Oh, I'd love to be filthy rich, wouldn't you?
18:58That's all right, I would.
18:59This gives you an insight into how people are making money in questionable ways.
19:07Yeah.
19:08It's people that make money out of, like, OnlyFans and stuff.
19:11Oh.
19:12Ooh.
19:13Hey, I don't want Nat watching this getting ideas.
19:15Seeing what else there is available on the internet for money.
19:19No, well, do you know what?
19:20I actually did once buy some saucy underwear and he got annoyed with me and says,
19:24what have you bought that for?
19:28Visibility on social media of the foot fetish has spiked in recent years.
19:32Ooh, foot fetish!
19:34I don't want to look at my own, let alone someone else's dusty, crusty feet.
19:37Does that turn you on?
19:38No, not really.
19:40Is it so partial?
19:42With Pornhub reporting a 58% increase of interest from the under 35s.
19:48Don't include me in that.
19:50Yep.
19:51It's your generation.
19:52Look, it's your splat bang in the middle.
19:54My generation, we need to be doing better.
19:56I think everyone's got a foot fetish on a sleigh.
19:59No.
20:00No.
20:01One guy I found online stumbled upon the earning power of his feet
20:04while serving in the armed forces.
20:06What?
20:07You're joking.
20:08Surely you can't do that in the armed forces?
20:10What are you so attractive about this size 11 stinky foot?
20:13Oh, Lord, move that foot away!
20:16He has been the only person thus far to be kicked out of the Navy
20:21for creating adult content.
20:23Why can't he do that and serve the nation?
20:27I like men in uniform, though, Lee.
20:30Oh.
20:31I do, honestly.
20:32I can't believe.
20:33Is that why you used to see the lollipop man?
20:35Yeah.
20:36What he's told me, which I don't really understand,
20:39but he's doing a sock drop.
20:42A what?
20:43Sock drop?
20:44Now, this isn't the first time I've heard about this.
20:46There's a post that says,
20:48Millennium Bridge, 10.30am today,
20:50I am leaving a pair of dirty socks to come and get them.
20:54This is insane.
20:56I've missed my calling.
20:57The world has gone mad.
20:58I mean, my sock drop needs a good sorting out, to be fair.
21:03If I could make a bit of money from selling my old socks,
21:06I've been my holy socks, maybe I should be selling them.
21:09We're in central London today, and as requested,
21:11so many of you want me to leave a sock on Millennium Bridge.
21:15Guys, you might see me on this bridge,
21:17cos I was in London the other day.
21:18If I turn up, it's just coincidence, OK?
21:20Yeah, right like that.
21:21So I've actually got this pair that I've been wearing
21:23for four days straight.
21:24Oh!
21:25Four days?!
21:26They used to be walking around on their own.
21:28He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
21:30Clearly.
21:32He's tying them on.
21:34Right, there you go.
21:35Are we supposed to get a pair?
21:37Posted.
21:38Posted.
21:40Well, he's learnt something in the Navy Nut.
21:42He's learnt how to tie a knot.
21:43So what do the people that have picked up the socks in the past
21:46look like?
21:47I want to see who's getting those socks.
21:49I want to see.
21:50That's what I want to know.
21:51Name and shame.
21:52As we're leaving the bridge, Zach spots someone he recognises.
21:57No!
21:58He recognises somebody.
22:00That's one of my socks.
22:01Where?
22:02Where?
22:03Running for the sock now.
22:06That's one of his fans, Mary.
22:08How long's that been?
22:09What? 30 seconds? Minute?
22:11Gross, he's on his street, are we?
22:13Shall we meet him?
22:14Well, I mean, I would, obviously, but he's your fan, not mine.
22:16This is crazy.
22:17This is actually crazy.
22:18Where have they gone?
22:19Someone got them before him.
22:20Somebody's already got them!
22:21Oh, look, it's gutted.
22:22Where's the socks?
22:23Is he coming?
22:24Where are they?
22:25No, we're actually meeting a foot fetishist, Nuttie.
22:26I think I've gone into a sort of nightmare or something.
22:29Well, better luck next time.
22:31Nice to meet you.
22:32Thanks for talking to me.
22:33I'll let you say your goodbyes.
22:34I'll give you a hug.
22:35Wait, really?
22:36I'll be nice.
22:37Oh, they're hugging.
22:38They're hugging Daniella.
22:39Right.
22:40That'll be better than the socks.
22:41Yeah.
22:42What could I show people?
22:43What's the matter?
22:44Well, I don't want to play.
22:45Because I'm thinking it's going to be stinky underwear.
22:46That's what they want, Jane.
22:47I could do a bra, couldn't I?
22:48Yeah, way too much, already.
22:49I'll be fine.
22:50I'll be fine.
22:51I'll be fine.
22:52Oh, they're hugging Daniella.
22:53Bye.
22:54Bye.
22:55Bye.
22:56Bye.
22:57Bye.
22:58Bye.
22:59Bye.
23:00Bye.
23:01Bye.
23:02Bye.
23:03Bye.
23:04Bye.
23:05Bye.
23:06Bye.
23:07Bye.
23:08Bye.
23:09Bye.
23:10Bye.
23:11Bye.
23:12Bye.
23:13Bye.
23:14Bye.
23:15Bye.
23:16Bye.
23:17Bye.
23:18Bye.
23:19Bye.
23:20Bye.
23:21Bye.
23:22Bye.
23:23Bye.
23:24Bye.
23:25Bye.
23:26Bye.
23:27Bye.
23:28Bye.
23:29Bye.
23:30Bye.
23:31Bye.
23:32Bye.
23:33Bye.
23:34Bye.
23:35Bye.
23:44in the Cotswolds I almost did dry January what do you mean you almost did I did I did that week
23:52the week where you did three days I did four Andrew and his husband Alfie I quite liked it
23:58for my 10 days there's probably 30 non-alcoholic beers still left in the fridge yeah I drank four
24:04okay so it wasn't that is more of a damn January it was a total damn January okay on Monday night
24:10there were more police in pursuit on channel five oh I couldn't possibly thank you so much
24:17good girl right we're gonna watch this so that you know what not to do on the motorway now that
24:26you're learning to drive it's fine Jay goes so slowly cheers Captain Obvious when it comes to
24:33bad driving dash camp never lies there are some shite drivers out there aren't there
24:39shite locking up the most dangerous people on our roads are the motorway cops I'd love to see
24:47them catch a few I haven't been on the motorway for ages since my mother died there's no reason to go
24:52anywhere mum would make a good motorway cop she can make a one-point full turbo mocker do things
24:58that this steak could only dream of yeah I like driving on the motorway but I hate the lane hoggers
25:06man move out the way she doesn't like the lane hoggers or Jay she is a lane hogger oh my days
25:15Shane that's worse than me that is worse than me your dad goes all over the place you're like on
25:21Jay just saying one lane man she sits there in his little mini umberside police what's the emergency
25:30umberside that's us it's the refinery service station I've got a theft of fuel just literally
25:35left the site now a theft of fuel you know what that means don't yourself they've nicked some fuel
25:39that's right I've done that have you driven away yeah without paying yeah accidentally mine of
25:44course all right stop it oh he's stoned on the drugs he's on drugs is he love all that's even worse
25:53than it mills made off with fuel the bentley continental in black a bentley continental
25:59oh what what oh no what's that bentley and you can't pay for your fuel the last reliable site was
26:05the innitlam doc tango november 1-1 we're blue lighting across there now we're blue lighting
26:10we're blue lighting we're blue lighting he's a hallucination he believes he's the second coming
26:18of jesus oh jesus he's off his trolley then to be fair I would imagine that the second coming
26:24of jesus would drive around in a bentley continental yeah he's got a couple of pals in car and all
26:32so it's jesus and the disciples it is failing to stop well in excess of seven zero in a three zero
26:42oh I see 17 or 30 yeah that's that's way worse than i was this is marvelous this program yeah
26:48there's the car the wagons have got him eight cvs have got him box him in box him in
26:55stop stop yeah stop you silly bastard contact made with subject vehicle contact made vehicle is
27:07continuing no he's got away the lorries oh my days you stupid wagon fucking wagon drivers
27:15it's going right right right right right oh my god this is absolutely wild this is crazy it's
27:32like a james bond film yeah tango november 1-1 other units are now on site you've got backup okay good
27:40good finally where's the helicopter man it's a break this is fast this is so cool for all the wrong
27:52reasons this must be the best car chaser they're fantastic isn't it they've got him they got him
28:00that's it they got him he's been dog he's been dog he's been dog he's been dog dog get him dog
28:11lay on your front lay on your front do me now do not move i don't think he can move can he
28:17there's not just been moving where's he off to right mate you're under arrest on suspicion of failing to
28:22stop for police dangerous driving and abduct slash kidnap a suspicion of failing to stop for the police
28:28there's no suspicion in that yeah he's gone for 40 miles at 100 miles an hour charge him for that
28:34one now you understand sorry i do not think to know what oh i can that fucking hell he's wrecked that
28:44car i mean your mama's come back with some dents and scratches but never like that
28:48in leeds is that my jaw or have i got jowls jowls definitely sisters ellie and izzie i'm getting
29:03jowls yeah seriously like you being mean or being honest let me feel
29:10gobble gobble on friday an exciting expose was making the headlines on the bbc
29:26see as we put the news on any chance we could watch it because it would be nice i know i do
29:30love looking at doggies no thanks for the case
29:31do you have to keep fucking slapping well get me some bread then complaints about rogue locksmiths
29:47have risen by two-thirds after the last over the last of four years good heavens i had no idea that
29:53was a thing no one needed to die oh dear what they're doing using a tactic known as bait and
29:59switch where companies offer an affordable call out fee but hike up the price when they get there
30:05oh that's when you're the witch oh yeah oh that's a mortis five lever yeah five lever
30:12basically every plumber and locksmith and builder and roofer in london is a crook
30:19no no not all crooks emergency call out fee 45 pounds finn and maria were locked inside when
30:26they called 24 7 locksmiths uk how do you lock inside you got locked between two doors one time
30:32i got locked in the book he was there all day till i got back from work they say they were quoted 45
30:38pounds over the phone well that's where they get you cheap call out fee expensive repair bills yes
30:44just making stuff up we'll have to replace the door here yeah yeah really we're gonna have to knock
30:49down this house really to get you in i stopped my head out the window and said do not break the
30:53lock we can you know we can definitely fix this without doing that we're not gonna have to
30:56replace it you don't need to do that and he said no i need to do it snap lock was broken he was in
31:01i love how she's laughing at the situation yeah because she's thinking that's definitely not how it
31:05panned out that's not how it panned out at all you've said to me it doesn't need you and he said it
31:10he's doing and i've said let's do it 1250 pounds altogether what how'd you get to that much
31:19the call-out fee was 45 thieving robbing bastards we wanted to investigate yeah come on let's set him
31:27up so we secured a property and rigged it with secret cameras oh i love this a sting is this the
31:34news yes it's quite a long news isn't it yeah but first we wanted to prove that this lock didn't
31:41need to be drilled we should be able to bypass this lock in seconds no damage by bypass he means break
31:48in yeah and they're not going to show us how to do that because that would be a bad idea
31:55is that how quick it is then we made the call
31:59we charge 40 pounds for a simple door opening well and you'd snap their hand off at that wouldn't
32:03you 40 quid sounds quite reasonable yeah so to open it i'm gonna have to drill the lock oh here we go
32:09you barely even examined it mate uh the price of drilling is 125 plus v18
32:16no that's naughty but at this point when he's there going price of this 125 i'd say put your tool back in
32:22your van tiger and fuck off butchery it's villainous so there you go that's the lot ruined now
32:31three one and four plus the uh uh three seven six three seven six oh my god 376 pounds where's
32:38dominic littlewood when you need him you know he needs to be out there on the beat yeah do we go now
32:43yeah yeah get out with the camera in the microwave get up i love wrong and spin court hello we're the bbc
32:52why are you charging so much for this job why is it costing so much because i'm a corn man i know
32:59next question we email the company for further comment they've yet to respond
33:03and their website has been taken down oh there's a surprise yeah but it's probably been set up under
33:08another name yeah yeah yeah you know at least dominant littlewood would get stuck in oh we'd have
33:12booted he'd have kicked the wing mirror off or something at least
33:25in blackpool hey soph treat myself to a new suit oh very nice oh yeah it was uh awkward actually
33:33because it was just chatting to the lads that were there who you know who's shopping is chris's shop
33:38pete and his little sister sophie because we were chatting and that i didn't want to get changed in
33:43the dressing room because i thought it were rude so i just got changed in the shop
33:49and next thing this dude's walked in and all i've got on is my undies and a smile
33:54i don't think that's right well nobody seemed to mind that was the thing but it just felt a bit
33:59awkward are you sure those men even work there well i i would hope so you know isn't it a curtain as
34:09well so even if you were chatting you could just chat through the curtain i know but i like to make
34:13eye contact when i'm speaking to people i bet that i bet the people that worked in the shop when you
34:18dropped your trousers they were thinking what a lad what is happening what this week it was the return
34:26of the raciest regency drama on netflix oh i'm buzzing bridgeton's back on i've been listening to
34:33mucky books lately i feel you dirty bitch
34:39see if we get some naughty bits is that what you're watching it for no it's educational
34:47is is everything well mom oh everything is perfect it should be perfect it would be perfect
34:53if where is benedict who's benedict that's her other son three guesses where he is probably shagging
34:59liar yeah oh that butler knows exactly where benedict is exactly yeah
35:11please fetch my carriage uh-oh is she gonna go and find him
35:15that is a mother with purpose oh she's on a mission there isn't she oh i've seen that walk before
35:24from your mother yeah move here we go what you're gonna found oh my gosh what she walked in on i don't know
35:36it's a shittle benedict bridgerton oh my word oh it was best she just stayed out of the room yeah
35:47what was she expecting to draw back the curtains it is time for my son to wake up no no no please
35:51please do not oh oh oh there's another one he's had an orgy in there she'll fancy being caught by
36:00your mother like that there's always a black sheep in the family in there who's that i don't know i've
36:12not seen this one before who is she what are you asking me for like i don't know i can do this
36:17i can do this she looks as she's nervous she's used to this sort of thing she's not giving swanky
36:23bridgerton do is she there's a large group arriving just conceal yourself behind her just be out by
36:30midnight oh cinderella okay cinderella oh god out by midnight was she gonna leave her glass slipper
36:39good evening ladies
36:42here he is the man of the hour old benedict oh he's such a ladies man mr bridgerton mr bridgerton
36:54hello oh look who he's spotted the unknown that glance across a crowded room shir i know
37:01pardon me young lady could i trouble you for the next dance oh no mr chance benedict oh
37:08that is unlucky oh he's in like flynn never seen him move so quick in my life forgive me for
37:14interrupting i have just found this young lady's dance card but unfortunately my name is next no
37:23bingo smooth movie oh i'm not looking for a husband you are not oh no she's talking his
37:31language that's gonna change his world yeah he's like she's the woman for me excuse me i i meant to
37:40be somewhere where's she going is it midnight already i can't she just got there have you lost your
37:44chakra no is it that we've met no i i cannot dance oh she can't dance because she's not a lady oh she's
37:51common as muck jenny she's common as muck a lady who cannot dance
37:58huh he's mind blown yeah he's like tick she's unladylike tick
38:07later in the garden we saw benedict showing the mystery woman a few moves
38:12how gorgeous it's being really sweet and romantic with her
38:24what's he doing it was taking a glove off what for
38:29what's happening why is he smelling her
38:38he's infatuated my guy said i want to i want to get a good smell of this
38:47oh she's got to go is it 12 o'clock the charms
38:51oh here we go oh that's very forward isn't it naughty
39:01wait she said you ain't gotta forget me boy who is this mystery woman i'm dying to know
39:08oh come on take it off tell us who you are we're gonna get to see her face now
39:20oh she's one of the maids she's a freaking maid
39:23oh jane this is forbidden love that were quite timber bridgerton that's just getting us warmed up
39:35that it's not even started yet just getting the juices flowing yeah
39:41in hall hey do you know the listening you know on these phones i know to do do you know something
39:47yesterday i was talking about potato waffles oh yeah then i went on and potato waffle started
39:54coming on my phone he's joking no i swear best friends jenny and lee i did that with the barbecue
40:02what because we were talking about getting a barbecue and then the next minute i was sat
40:07it come up on me phone so there's the year what you're saying i the next time i was sat there i said
40:14i want a six foot man hunk like that send me some of them and it's like arrived no i'm still waiting
40:22for it
40:26i need to talk to him more often don't i six foot two six foot two yeah six foot two dark hair don't want
40:33blonde dark hair see what pops up it'll be raised on his chair
40:39on monday night alan carr was on the hunt for closet clever clogs on channel four
40:48i've done like you just yeah i did pretty well i got like 120 or something i got 121 i think you're
40:55a liar no i'm not a liar you just picked one higher than me no i swear i'm sure it was 121 across the uk
41:06there are estimated to be a million undiscovered geniuses oh i wonder if i'm one of them you could
41:13be a genius and not realize yeah that's probably me that's that's me all over when i were a kid i used
41:23to know everybody's reg plate on a state where i lived oh michelle knows that she's a copper each week
41:2812 people from different corners of the uk complete the number sequence
41:35have been invited to genius hq okay oh genius hq i'd love to go to genius yeah we're gonna send
41:43you in darling we're gonna sign you up for this get me in there here they'll compete in a series of
41:48mind-stretching games where do we begin designed with mensa oh mensa god i've heard of mensa
41:55the society for the world's smartest people i was told i wouldn't go far in life that's nasty
42:02and who are these horrible people that taught you please honestly horrible bastards
42:06fuck is all this is what i was told and you know what actually i wish i could say them now
42:12uh hello i work in the cheese factory
42:14i'm proper smart me oh jeez i would be intrigued to know what my iq was but would i
42:26because if it's really low i don't want to know better off not knowing better off not knowing better
42:31off burying your head in the sand 27 year old jess is the first player to face the final round come on
42:38jess oh jess is a real smart cookie yeah let's see how she does with this one okay right
42:46memorize the details of this stack of text light oh i love turkish delight
42:51turkish dish yeah it's more like i want to eat that when you are ready you must move on to the
42:55next room your first question can be found on the jar
42:58i think i'll be looking at the colors you know how they run the sequence i just want to eat the
43:05turkish delight it's like the jar that displays a number of cubes in the turkish delight tower
43:10how would you know that how would you count them all then this is about spatial reasoning right no
43:15lost me how the bloody hell would you know that i'll tell you what it's quite hard this self it is
43:19i got a general vibe that it was definitely over a hundred what yeah i'm gonna go 162
43:29yeah but there's no reasoning behind it well i've got so far and i'm thinking yeah there's a lot of
43:35turkish delight there
43:42correct no way bloody hell damn she's quick well i won far out
43:49hundred and sixty two so that's not bad contains traces of jam elderflower right let's try the
43:55next one jelly oh jelly very good we're looking for a verbal sequence jelly what jelly beans jelly
44:03jelly war jelly jelly jelly jelly warm jelly jelly jelly jelly jelly worms the seven what's that seven
44:16comes an l oh that's l it's like an l oh l lemon lemon lemon plop it is lemon plop is it lemon drop isn't
44:34it drop lemon drop lemon drop i like lemon drop not lemon plop it's lemon drop what am i what am i
44:45a squirrel squirrel squirrel minus question okay have you got it no is it word word and then you have
44:54to add the o-i-c to make a new word that is the trickiest question how can there be an answer out of
45:02this is it licorice
45:07it's not licorice there's no there's no h there's no h in licorice you dickhead yeah licorice
45:14licorice yes wow licorice well what's licorice got to do with squirrel
45:24well done that was amazing that always knew well done jess she was amazing i can't believe it i actually
45:31can't believe i've done it that's i'm impressed there i'll give you that i'm smart i'm not listen
45:39remember the paddling pool
45:45do you remember the paddling pool yeah and it said fill it with water yeah
45:52you filled the bit you brought with air with water
45:55and then we couldn't get it up because now that inflatable bit was full of water
46:03do you remember that sean yeah and you're telling me you're a secret genius
46:17well if you want to see more of secret genius and maybe find out if you are one too alan and susie
46:27will be here sunday at nine well next up tonight the last leg is looking sharp although there is
46:32probably more to do with guests grayson perry and judy love than adam alex and josh to be fair stay with us
46:47so
46:51so
46:55so
46:57so
46:59so
47:01so
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