00:10Welcome home Jade. How was work today? One, being unenjoyable. Two, being steady. Nice one. In the past two months,
00:19your employment satisfaction has increased by 34%. Seems like this job is a great fit for you.
00:25Yeah, it is. Freya, order a pepperoni pizza from Putz for delivery. Order complete. Actually, amend. Reorder rosé. Jade, a
00:39bottle of rosé will bring your monthly alcohol units to 18. Six units over the recommended intake. Please confirm you
00:46want to amend your order. Freya, are you my mother? No, that's physically impossible. Great, then order the wine.
00:56Order complete.
01:48Thio T left you a review. To unlock, please rate Thio T's penis size.
01:53Five.
01:55Wow. How about stamina?
01:58Five.
01:59Great. Pillow talk?
02:02One.
02:04Add comment.
02:07Strong young man who really knows what he's doing.
02:14Thio T rated your breasts, five out of five.
02:17Vaginal tightness, four out of five.
02:20Blow jobs, one out of five.
02:22Comment, weigh heavier than her picks.
02:25Dick.
02:34Vitamin B, low to average.
02:37pH, neutral.
02:40Urochrome, high.
02:42Jade, please drink four units of water to achieve optimal hydration.
02:46Yeah, it's called a hangover, Freya.
02:49Uh, play poop soundtrack number four.
02:52Jade, you have a cavity developing on your lateral incisor.
02:56Booking dental appointment for Sunday at 2 p.m.
03:00Please confirm.
03:01Confirmed.
03:03Confirmed.
03:07Error.
03:08Beliefacions.
03:08The only baby is in the cell phone.
03:08All of this is in the cell phone.
03:10On the other hand, it's called a cold in the cell phone.
03:12It's called a cold.
03:13We've had a cold.
03:14We've had a cold.
03:20We've had a cold.
03:25We've had a cold.
03:26We've had a cold.
03:28Everything is in the cell phone.
03:31Error. Obese citizens are unable to mute Freya Health. I am here to help you be your best self.
03:37Freya, can you just say something nice about me, please?
03:43You have a strong social network.
03:53Hey. Night, Bubba.
04:05Vitamin B, low to average. pH, neutral. Eurochrome, average. HCG, high.
04:13Congratulations, Jade. You are pregnant. You are now an important part of growing our unified society.
04:19Your due date is March 27th.
04:21No.
04:2150% of your population growth credit will be deposited.
04:26Please confirm your account. Checking or savings.
04:29Oh. Checking.
04:32Confirmed. The balance will be deposited upon delivery.
04:35You have 48 hours to notify the father.
04:39Your status has been updated.
04:43Shin...
04:44Your due date is March 27th.
04:47You are pregnant.
04:48What the fuck? What the fuck?
04:51Hey, Mom. Um, yeah, I just found out. It's great.
04:57Um, my boyfriend's Theo. Theo. He's a, um, skate park landscaper.
05:09Uh, I gotta go, Mom. Sorry. Bye.
05:14Appointment invitation from Hugo Parsons, Senior Account Manager. Today, 9am. Would you like to accept?
05:23Yes.
05:27I'll try to convince them, but I don't like our chances. Head office will make the call on Monday, but
05:34if I were you, I'd prepare for the worst.
05:42You know, I, I know you love this job, but motherhood is the greatest job of them all. You're gonna
05:50be amazing.
06:04Welcome home, Jade. How was work today? On a scale of one...
06:07One.
06:10Sorry to hear you had a bad day. Anything specific you'd like to tell me?
06:13Pray, uh, order, uh, chicken tandoori from BJ's for delivery.
06:19Jade, as an obese geriatric pregnancy, you have been placed on a government-issued balanced diet. Your meal will arrive
06:26shortly.
06:27I don't think you'll stay.
06:28I don't think you'll stay.
06:40Come on.
06:43Bye-bye.
06:43How are we doing this?
06:47I say...
06:47I say...
06:47I say...
06:50I say...
06:54I say...
07:07Please stand by for the Federal Department of Health and Human Services.
07:11Your conversation is monitored for training and quality purposes.
07:16Hello, Jade.
07:18My name is Annie, and I'm here to talk to you about the miracle growing inside you right now.
07:24We noticed you searching some blocked content, so this is a friendly reminder that self-harm while you are with
07:33child is a federal offense.
07:35This is a formal warning.
07:38If I could get you to go ahead and confirm you've received this warning, that would be great.
07:45Confirmed.
07:46Thanks, Jade.
07:47The Department of Health and Human Services thanks you for growing our unified society.
08:00And no one matches with you if you don't have a VDD.
08:06Fuck.
08:08Fuck!
08:10Sorry.
08:14Yeah, well, you can't take it back now, so...
08:18No, I know, I just...
08:22I'm an idiot.
08:25I'm so sorry.
08:34Uh...
08:35Well, I guess...
08:37I'll see you soon.
08:39Yeah.
08:40Guess so.
08:42Hey, you and me, growing a unified society, huh?
08:47Huh.
09:10Okay.
09:13Freya?
09:14How can I help, Jade?
09:18What if I don't want a baby?
09:20Jade, every life is sacred.
09:22As a valued citizen, it is your responsibility to grow our population.
09:35Hey, Elle.
09:36Can I come over?
09:39Yes!
09:41Yes!
09:41Yes!
09:42Oh, my gosh!
09:43It's fucking scary, but you're gonna be fine.
09:46You know what?
09:47Jesus, if David and I can do it, so can you and Leo.
09:51Theo.
09:53Right.
09:54Theo.
10:00Oh, yes!
10:01Look!
10:02Okay, here, you know what?
10:03I got to go pee, and I never get to pee alone.
10:13It's okay.
10:18I'm okay.
10:29Can you take her, please?
10:30Oh, yeah, of course.
10:32Yeah.
10:39I can't do it, Elle.
10:46Do you still have the address?
10:49Are you sure?
10:52It's not safe.
11:04Hey, Mom.
11:06Yeah, I'm good.
11:08How's the hip?
11:10No.
11:12That's no good.
11:15Yeah.
11:18Nothing.
11:20I was just going to tell you I love you.
11:25Hmm?
11:28Okay.
11:30Yeah, I will.
11:32Okay, bye.
11:33Shh.
11:45I'm just going to tell you I know that you were supposed to be the best.
11:46I want you to be the best I have for you.
11:47I don't want you to be the best I have for you to be the best.
11:50And you and I wish I can give you too.
11:50I like to be the best you've ever heard of.
11:50I'm really going to be the best.
11:51Mm-hmm.
11:52Hmm.
11:54Hmm.
11:5515,000.
12:03Mm.
12:0610,000.
12:36I'll see you next time.
13:05I'll see you next time.
13:33I'll see you next time.
13:37Reminder, dentist appointment at 2 p.m.
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