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00:01Stop!
00:02I can't believe she's done it, wait, let's watch it again, wait, wait.
00:08What?
00:09Oh, that's so funny.
00:11Did you see the one on the group chat?
00:13The other day.
00:13Oh, stop.
00:15This one, this one, oh my gosh.
00:19This is so funny.
00:21Oh my god, every time she posts it just gets worse.
00:23Actually, it's so funny though.
00:25I'm gonna send it to Sally from Jiu Jitsu.
00:27What?
00:27Sally from Jiu Jitsu?
00:29Yes!
00:30Oh my god, I love her.
00:31She's so good, she's so good.
00:32Really?
00:33No, she was saying about how she missed you so much.
00:35So hard, I love her.
00:36Hi, I'm here for my 12-week scan, 9-15.
00:40Lisa?
00:41That's all right, yeah.
00:42Date of birth?
00:434th March 1990.
00:45And the first line of your address?
00:47At 96 Lawson Court.
00:49Did you want to purchase any photos?
00:54Oh, you can just ask them once you're in there.
00:57Yeah.
01:00Yeah.
01:12I'm sorry.
01:15I'm sorry.
01:18I'm sorry.
01:19I'm sorry.
01:20I'm sorry.
01:43I'm sorry.
01:46I'm sorry.
01:49I'm sorry.
01:52I'm sorry.
01:52No problem.
01:53Do you want to get on the bed?
01:55Thanks.
01:57Her back's been a little bit.
01:58Oh, it's fine.
02:00Shh.
02:00Yep.
02:02Shh.
02:02Can you tell us as soon as you like?
02:08I'll have a look, and then as soon as I can, I will let you know how things are looking.
02:13Mm-hmm.
02:15Shh.
02:16Shh.
02:17Okay.
02:25Right.
02:27Put that in.
02:31Would you like to watch the scan?
02:33Yes, please.
02:34Yeah?
02:34Yeah.
02:35Thanks.
02:37This will be a bit cold.
02:42How's this pregnancy been?
02:44I've had a bit of cramping, haven't I?
02:46But I'm still feeling quite sick, so.
02:49Well, there's all kinds of things going on down there, so you've bound to have a bit
02:51of cramping.
02:52Let's have a look, shall we?
02:54The monitor's just there, so you can see what I'm looking at.
02:56I'll need to take some measurements, and it can take me a while to find baby, but I
02:59will let you know what I find as soon as I can, okay?
03:03Okay.
03:03Sorry.
03:10Okay.
03:24How's it look?
03:26One moment, please.
03:38We'd like to know if everything's okay.
03:41All right.
03:50I'm out.
03:52I'm out.
04:01I'm out.
04:04My dreams are up in your arms because they're going to say they can't compete with you.
04:11Stopped the day with a little syllable
04:17Left unfinished
04:23When you move, kiss me
04:31Now each one bursts like a volcano
04:36Cause there's nowhere else for this love to go
04:53Oh, bloody hell
05:01Is it okay?
05:04Oh, it's more than okay
05:30Oh, it's more than okay
05:44Morning, love
05:46Sleep well?
05:48Yes, I slept well
05:49Mum, did you sleep well?
05:52Why are you so obsessed with how I slept?
05:57Shall I bring your bags down?
05:58So funny
06:00I can bring my own bags down, thanks dad
06:02I'm driving myself to university
06:05I think I can bring my bags down
06:32My mother
06:49I'm sorry.
06:54He's your father.
06:56There's nothing I can do.
07:01Right, I've got everything you need.
07:02I've got Kit Kats, I've got donuts,
07:04I've got orange Fanta, I've got lemon Fanta,
07:06I've made cakes.
07:10Nothing for the cakes?
07:11Well, okay.
07:41What a cake comes from.
07:43What a cake!
07:44What a cake!
07:57Take me out!
08:02I read more that Ikuki again!
08:03Oh my god, żebyÄ ada dużo underway!
08:03Yok, yok.
08:03Esse bowl Cheers!
08:06I don't know.
08:34Let me know if you've fancy some cake.
08:40Congratulations!
08:42How are you doing?
08:44Yeah, not too great, to be honest.
08:46Oh, God, not too great, to be honest.
08:48Oh, I just love it.
08:50I'm actually feeling really terrible.
08:53No, it's seriously...
08:55It's awful.
09:02Just a glass of ice, please.
09:05A pint.
09:08A pint glass of ice?
09:10Me too.
09:11Ready?
09:12Yep.
09:13And two pint glasses of ice.
09:18Have I told you about when I gave birth?
09:20You have, yeah.
09:22Yeah, and...
09:23The doctors were actually amazed by my placenta.
09:28Yeah.
09:30Yeah.
09:38Ugh.
09:47Ugh.
10:11I'm just trying to think some meals are not to make.
10:17Good one.
10:18So what's that?
10:20Ham, butter, bread?
10:21Yep.
10:23Crisps?
10:24Yeah.
10:29Okay.
10:31Dinners.
10:34I was literally just round the corner.
10:36We've been here 15 minutes.
10:38You're hilarious.
10:40Just text me.
10:41Well, okay, so you actually want me to get here later because you want me to stop rushing
10:45and text you.
10:47I mean, do you want me to be here on time or not?
10:49Because I'm getting very mixed messages.
11:03We're actually going to go out.
11:17So many potholes in the road.
11:23The little holes in the road.
11:25We call them potholes.
11:27The council is supposed to fill them in.
11:33But do we really want the council to divert resources away from the hospitals and the
11:38educational services to fill a load of holes in the road?
11:45Yeah.
11:46It's tricky.
11:58Careful, please.
12:02Just be careful, yeah?
12:10Ah, Jesus.
12:11Okay.
12:11That's...
12:11Come down now, Daniel.
12:12That's enough.
12:13No.
12:14That's enough.
12:23Did you ever bite the bottom?
12:28Really?
12:29No.
12:31You've never done it?
12:36You bite the bottom.
12:40And then you suck it.
12:42You know like, you know straws, yeah?
12:47It's like a straw.
12:50Mm-hmm.
12:53You suck it.
13:01Let me see, come in, be patient, you're good at that.
13:33Did you see my email?
13:36Uh, yep, sorry.
13:39You can turn it into a PDF, yeah, and send it on.
13:43Of course, yeah.
13:45If you could just reply when I email you.
13:50Absolutely.
13:51Yep.
14:12What's the buzz then?
14:13Do you want to speak to me, come in here.
14:22You can hear all that.
14:24Have you seen the size of my piles?
14:29I don't hear about your piles.
14:33I don't hear about your piles.
14:39I think it's just like a cloth.
14:41No, a tea towel.
14:47Yeah.
14:48So it's a tea towel.
14:50It's made with, like, special salt.
14:53It's a tea towel.
14:55They call that muslin and charge you three times as much.
14:58It's not a tea towel.
14:59What, what do you use it for?
15:01Just...
15:05Just like...
15:07wiping my sick and stuff.
15:10Jesus.
15:14Baby's gonna be sick, aren't you?
15:18Jesus.
15:20Sick and dribble.
15:24We'll be mopping like piss and shit.
15:28Oh, no.
15:28Oh, no.
15:28Nothing else.
15:29Lisa?
15:30Yes.
15:50Oh, fingers.
15:52Oh, my God.
15:53The fingers.
15:54Yeah.
15:58It's so busy.
16:00Oh, I think we're in trouble here.
16:03Okay.
16:05So, two hands.
16:06Five fingers on each hand.
16:08Two feet.
16:09Ten toes.
16:11Oh, my God.
16:11The toes.
16:13Huh.
16:14They're moving a lot.
16:16That's, that's good, you know?
16:18It's all what we'd hope to see.
16:20Yeah.
16:22And if you look here,
16:26that thing there,
16:28that's his willy.
16:48Little boy.
17:00What's happened to me?
17:03I'm sorry.
17:40so
18:21I'm not going to be like
18:26I'm not going to be like
18:28you have to be this
18:30you have to be that
18:34I'm going to have to know
18:34the best good stuff
18:38I think sometimes dad's
18:40complete
18:41not my dad
18:42but maybe
18:44dad's dad
18:45a little bit
18:47I get in the way
18:48you've been
18:48who you are
18:54but
18:55this
18:55this
19:00what a privilege
19:06little boy
19:13it's the greatest privilege
19:25so you just whisk up the eggs
19:28frown milk
19:29a touch of salt
19:31then you have to get the oil hot
19:33how hot?
19:34oh like
19:35hot
19:36I'll kill it for you
19:39how do you know it's hot enough?
19:42it spits
19:45yeah not a lot of people do that
19:46but something I figured out quite early on
19:52did you make up this recipe yourself?
19:55kind of
20:00I do feel bad for you guys having to live with Simon
20:04poor mum
20:04I mean what has she got herself into?
20:08I bet they rowel quite a lot don't they?
20:10he was crying the other night
20:12oh Simon was
20:13was he?
20:15he was crying
20:17oh god I love that Simon
20:18crying
20:21I cry sometimes
20:24no you don't
20:27no we had a great time
20:28okay
20:30I had pancakes
20:32really?
20:33wow
20:35yeah it's kind of awkward
20:37but he asked if I could stay for lunch
20:43but I don't want to
20:44well um
20:45no
20:45if Simon's
20:46Simon's at his mum's
20:48don't worry I'll
20:49no
20:50no
20:51night lights in the front pocket
20:52no
20:53it's fine
20:54say
20:54it's nice that he asked you
20:58yeah
21:05damage
21:11bloody hell
21:14that's that's that
21:15yeah
21:17I wonder you don't stop moaning
21:20fuck you
21:24oh my god I'm leaking
21:29you're so sexy
21:47hey you're here for NCC
21:49yeah
22:01I've got a very good birth plan
22:03it is a good one actually
22:04I plan to be hiding in a pub
22:05that's my birth plan
22:06you probably will as well
22:10we've been doing hypnobirthing
22:11haven't we
22:12yeah
22:12I want to go for a lotus birth
22:16because I really think you should
22:18whereas I'm really
22:19I can see
22:31I'm really interested in vaginal seeding
22:41I've made a playlist
22:43you're going to give birth on all fours aren't you
22:45like an animal
22:47then it's sweets
22:48chocolate
22:49caffeine for you
22:52yeah I'll need my caffeine
22:59um
23:01yeah uh
23:04no we haven't really
23:06considered it yet have we
23:09it's been
23:10quite hard to think of it as
23:13uh
23:16real
23:21maternity unit
23:24midwife
23:26midwifery unit
23:27what's the difference
23:31god knows
23:34I want there to be doctors
23:36you just put doctors
23:39yeah
23:39capital letters
23:40yeah
23:42doctors
23:43tons of doctors
23:45all the painkillers
23:47just put
23:47give me a look
23:51who do I want to be with me
23:53during the labour
23:54what that
23:57good idea
23:58yeah
23:58mm-mm
23:59I think your mum will come
24:01okay that's good
24:02I'd love that
24:03she could stand there
24:04being fucking inane
24:06wow
24:07it'd be perfect
24:18do you want to be there
24:19if it's forceps
24:21or vacuum
24:24oh
24:25what's like
24:26the baby's guided out
24:29using a cap
24:30fitted to its head
24:31by suction
24:31shut up
24:37oh my god
24:38they're so gross
24:41I don't know
24:44yeah okay
24:45whatever
24:45clear
24:46get
24:57do we want to use
24:59a special
25:01ld or
25:02p
25:03room
25:06is there an option
25:07for you to pack those
25:08yeah it actually is
25:12we need to look this up
25:16I think
25:18you really need
25:19it's for me to spend
25:20the
25:21birth
25:21reminding you
25:22to be positive
25:26it's weird that
25:27that's not an option
25:28yeah I'd love that actually
25:30it's just useful
25:31to be reminded
25:39I'm starting to worry
25:40this is actually
25:40going to happen
25:43huh
25:44that'd be silly
25:45so I'm going to fall apart
25:46if you'll have an affair
25:48I'll end up getting divorced
25:52I've had hundreds
25:57what
25:57what
25:57what is
25:58a
26:01PCI
26:02not me
26:05you don't want to know
26:13hi
26:15come in
26:15come in
26:16excellent
26:17thanks
26:17Daniel
26:18your dad's here
26:19sorry I'm just on a zoom
26:21Japanese
26:22it's just the weekend
26:23I can't find the bag
26:26coming
26:27could you drop him off
26:28a bit later tomorrow
26:29like 5.36
26:30we've got a scat
26:32absolutely
26:33she's been a bit anxious
26:34since the 12 weeks
26:37have you packed your bazooka
26:39no
26:40have you packed your whisky
26:42your gin
26:42your wine
26:43your beer
26:44no
26:44oh no you've forgotten
26:46have you packed your dog
26:48happiness
26:51you
26:52you
27:05it's
27:07you
27:07you
27:08you
27:16you
27:24Don't do this, mate.
27:25No.
27:29I just cooked that whole meal for you.
27:31No.
27:31You're being unbearable.
28:13You're being unbearable.
28:28See?
28:29You're eating it.
28:33You know it's my job to teach you these things.
28:38What?
28:39Am I supposed to let you grow up thinking it's okay to reject food that your host has cooked for
28:44you?
28:44What kind of father would that make me?
28:51Seriously, what kind of father would that make me?
28:52What kind of father would that make me look like a child?
28:54What kind of father would that make me look like a child?
28:54Guess what kind of father would that make me look like a child?
28:54I'm not even...
29:22I don't think so.
29:29sometimes they reckon if you eat ice oh wow did you feel that yeah
29:40i think i think his feet must be down there which means he's moving oh
29:49is that a big one oh god yeah
30:08can you stop that yeah sure what in it like how does it come around so far
30:16i don't know i feel like it's an appropriate corner that's why i'm going to get around
30:18this but yeah well i'll probably come to yours in like an hour and a half maybe
30:28but i still got some stuff in the back and then we'll be all
30:38so stretch seats yep what's this stretch seat
30:48okay so it's like it's like it covers all his body yeah cold days bedtime
31:05booties sucks what's the fuck booties shoes yeah shoes
31:11let's call them shoes
31:13he's got his big coat what about his cashmere
31:16oh shut up what he won't wear cashmere he won't take clothes he won't take my thermals
31:21of course he won't take your bloody thermals he needs layers would you have worn your dad's thermals
31:32people are like great you're pregnant
31:35now you can forget about it put all that behind you yeah because it's easy
31:40shrug it off
31:45we'll be sat here when we're icy and we'll still be thinking about them
31:57this is great
31:58oh god
31:59it's already set me up
32:06is that all the bacon
32:09no
32:24yeah
32:25yeah Maya was like
32:26it's gonna be amazing
32:28yeah
32:29I just kinda nod and need that smile
32:33I know that smile
32:35yeah it's great
32:36you do that to me
32:38funny when you're being poor
32:39we don't know if he's gonna be healthy or whatever when he comes out
32:52what's he gonna be like
32:57what's he gonna be like
33:00oil
33:02don't need it
33:04don't need it
33:04the fat from the bacon
33:05it quits in its own fat
33:07exactly
33:11eggs
33:12alright you've got three options
33:14fried
33:15boiled
33:15scrambled
33:16poached
33:17that's four
33:18that's four
33:20that's four
33:24that's four
33:25mum
33:26mum
33:28lisa
33:31there's no way of knowing who he's gonna be
33:41there's no way of knowing who he's gonna be
33:51I guess I'm worried about the birth itself
33:55no it's fine
33:56I'm gonna breathe through the pain
33:59hmm
34:02yeah
34:06the pain can be quite extreme though can't it
34:11yes
34:12yes
34:12which is why I plan to breathe through it
34:19god it's also terrifying
34:20I'm gonna have to hold her hand
34:22I'm gonna sleep in a chair
34:24listen to her screaming
34:26you've got earplugs
34:29if he is so loud
34:33we're not worried at all are we?
34:35no
34:36no
34:36easy
34:36we like to keep positive
34:38don't we?
34:40yeah we're really positive people
34:41especially me
34:44haha
35:00I swear
35:01I swear
35:02next time
35:03yeah I swear
35:04don't you remember?
35:06I swear
35:08what are you doing here?
35:09same as you I reckon
35:10I don't know
35:12for your sake
35:16oh careful of the pint
35:18careful of the pint
35:18oh it's been a while
35:23yeah no what's it been like?
35:25a few months
35:26more than a few
35:27well time flies only having fun
35:30always having fun mate
35:31always having fun
35:35you look good mate
35:37thanks for noticing
35:39you noticing how I look now?
35:42do I need to be worried?
35:43oh yeah you do actually
35:44you need to be very worried
35:46uh oh
35:49uh oh's right
35:57happy birthday mate
35:58you're gonna get into that
36:00yeah
36:01you're gonna get into that
36:03yeah
36:03you want to sit on?
36:12yeah
36:12so how you been?
36:13ah
36:14you following me?
36:15hahaha
36:16always following you
36:17like a bad smell
36:18haha
36:19yeah I wonder what it was
36:20haha
36:25how's everything with Amanda?
36:27and
36:27olive?
36:29olive?
36:30yeah
36:30yeah yeah yeah
36:32yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
36:32all good mate
36:33all good
36:34it's all just
36:36like
36:37yeah you know
36:37photos
36:38yeah
36:43great about your baby
36:47haha
36:47yeah
36:47oh yeah
36:48congratulations
36:49thanks yeah
36:50is it congratulations?
36:52oh yeah yeah yeah
36:53haha
36:53great
36:54haha
36:57I haven't really been telling anyone
36:59no that's great mate
37:01didn't want to tempt fate
37:01no no
37:02er
37:02Matt mentioned it
37:04yeah
37:05what have you done?
37:05haha
37:07I know right
37:08haha
37:08yeah
37:09your life's over
37:11haha
37:11haha
37:13enjoy it while you can
37:15haha
37:16yeah
37:16I like so
37:17yeah can I have two pints of love?
37:23actually
37:25we've been trying for a while
37:26no bad thing
37:27haha
37:28haha
37:28one way to get her to sleep with you
37:30haha
37:30haha
37:31haha
37:43it's been a difficult time
37:44to be honest
37:46cause
37:47cause
37:47we actually
37:49managed to get pregnant before
37:51yeah
37:51er
37:52can I get four pints?
37:54do you want one?
37:54I'll get him
37:55I'll get him
37:56no no come on I'll get him
37:57no I'll get him
37:59a prony
38:00I'll get the next one
38:02er
38:02five pints of a prony
38:04and a guillis
38:04thanks
38:05thanks
38:06oh
38:13so
38:13you were
38:14you were trying and
38:15oh yeah
38:16yeah
38:20it's been
38:21tricky really
38:23bit of a tricky time
38:25and
38:27we actually got pregnant
38:29three times
38:30previously
38:31but
38:34erm
38:37yeah
38:43oh right
38:44yeah
38:48that must have been hard for Lisa
38:52yeah
38:52that must have been hard for Lisa
38:53that must have been really tough for her
38:54yeah
38:54really tough
38:56but she'll be alright
38:57yeah
38:58nah
38:59of course
38:59yeah
39:00she's a tough one
39:01scary woman
39:05thanks
39:05oh
39:09at least it's all over now
39:11you can have a baby
39:12so
39:13mmm
39:14so
39:16yeah
39:16well hopefully
39:18yeah
39:19you can put it all behind you
39:26I bet you were
39:26you were strong though were ya
39:28nothing can knock the big guy
39:29heh
39:31no
39:34nah
39:35nah
39:35not really
39:38I try to
39:39to be like
39:40positive
39:41and stuff
39:41be like
39:42a strong one
39:43but
39:45yeah
39:46they really work
39:55sometimes
39:57you
39:57think you
39:58you do something
40:00because it seems like
40:03obviously the right thing to do
40:05and
40:05even though you
40:06you've thought about it
40:08and you thought about it from
40:08like
40:10all the different
40:12angles
40:13that
40:13you think
40:14there is
40:16and
40:17it
40:18still just
40:18turns out to be a
40:21fucking
40:22catastrophe
40:32it's fun
40:33isn't it
40:35oh
40:36yeah
40:36it's great
40:37I'll have it
40:38ha ha ha ha
40:42well
40:48yeah
40:49you know
40:49you're right mate
40:50here
40:51yeah
40:52ha ha ha
40:54oh
40:55oh
41:08ho ho
41:15Here you are.
41:17Thanks.
41:17Oh, thanks.
41:22A few more of these.
41:25Always.
41:42Yeah, he's nearly ready.
41:45Daniel!
41:46My dad!
41:49Come in.
41:50I'm good.
41:51It's cold.
41:52Come in.
41:53I'm good.
41:54Simon's out.
41:56I'm good.
41:58Okay.
41:59What are you even doing up there?
42:05What can we see?
42:08And we see on the bus.
42:17Very peaceful.
42:20How old?
42:22Fourteen months.
42:24Amazing.
42:26I'm on my own, so...
42:29Tell me about it.
42:30I've got two.
42:31Two?
42:33And don't live with them, sadly.
42:35It's not my choice.
42:36Oh, that's really hard.
42:38Yeah, I miss him.
42:40I...
42:44So you're a single dad, then?
42:48If you want to know if I'm single, you can just ask me if I'm single.
42:52Sorry.
42:53Sorry, I didn't mean that.
42:53Nah, I'm kidding.
43:00Hello?
43:01No.
43:02No.
43:06Hey!
43:10Hey!
43:11Hey!
43:12Hey!
43:52Steven.
43:58Steven.
44:00I think I'm having contractions.
44:04What?
44:06I'm having contractions.
44:15Can you stop looking at me?
44:17I'm not looking at you.
44:21Stop looking at me!
44:28I'm fine!
44:30Everyone is always overreacting.
44:35Everything.
44:37People have been giving birth for thousands of years.
44:41They think it's going to be hard.
44:44So they make it hard.
44:46Whereas this is like...
44:49It's a natural process.
44:50Yeah.
44:53Who workin' it be?
45:00It's ten minutes since the last one.
45:03Are you good?
45:07Yeah.
45:08Now I've got this.
45:09You got the car seat?
45:12I don't remember your breathing.
45:13You don't have to remind me to breathe.
45:16Oh!
45:21Ooh!
45:29Oh, wait, wait, wait.
45:32Yeah.
45:33Yeah.
45:36They were every five minutes.
45:38Yeah.
45:3860 seconds every five minutes.
45:41Well, no.
45:41They've dropped it.
45:42Yeah.
45:42Because of the car journey now about every eight minutes.
45:45And they are shorter.
45:47They've dropped to 45 seconds.
45:54What does that mean?
46:08I should have left them in the car.
46:11Oh, yeah.
46:22Hi.
46:22Sorry.
46:23My wife's having contractions in the corridor.
46:26And I was just wondering, is there any chance we'll have in the room?
46:30She's Lisa.
46:31All my monkeys.
46:56Yeah, she's just stood having contractions in a corridor.
47:00Yeah, she's on the list.
47:01So when a delivery room becomes available, she will be given it.
47:03Yeah, I know.
47:04But she's literally a woman giving birth in a corridor.
47:06Yeah, I can't just magic a delivery room out my arse.
47:10Yeah, but I can see that.
47:16What's this, are you?
47:18Oh, yeah.
47:19You're great, actually.
47:20You're the other standing.
47:28You're the other standing.
47:32So, uh...
47:32Quick.
47:34Banana?
47:37I'm sorry.
47:39Why have a twin?
47:40They haven't had twin ages.
47:42She probably got a twin.
47:43Or a flake.
47:45You have to make a bit of a plan if you can have a flake.
47:49Oh, God.
47:51Yep, yep, yep.
48:13Can I get your leaf ring?
48:27Oh, God.
48:47Oh, God.
48:50Oh, God.
48:52Oh, God.
48:55Oh, God.
48:57Oh, God.
49:05Oh, God.
49:13Oh, God.
49:16Oh, God.
49:25Oh, God.
49:38Oh, God.
49:43Oh, God.
49:47Oh, God.
49:49Oh, God.
49:58Oh, God.
50:31Oh, God.
50:48Oh, God.
50:50Oh, God.
51:02Oh, God.
51:06Oh, God.
51:14Oh, God.
51:24Oh, God.
51:27Oh, God.
51:30Oh, God.
51:56Oh, God.
51:58Oh, God.
52:00Oh, God.
52:03Oh, God.
52:13Oh, God.
52:41Oh, God.
52:41Oh, God.
52:41Oh, God.
52:51Oh, God.
52:57Oh, God.
53:00Oh, God.
53:02Oh, God.
53:03Oh, God.
53:18Oh, God.
53:32Oh, God.
53:34Oh, God.
53:38Oh, God.
53:49Oh, God.
53:50Oh, God.
54:53Oh, fuck.
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