Samay Raina - STILL ALIVE (Full Special) - video Dailymotion

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Samay Raina is back after a year. Watch Samay Raina's debut standup comedy special - Still Alive  For Business: Contact@samayraina.co  Credits: Written & Performed by Samay Raina Directed & Edited by Karan Asnani D.O.P.: Gaurav Anand Video Production: Myoho Films x Vision Of GAP Line Producer: Anjay Madhan (Take 5 Films) Line Production Team: Ayushman Bandhopadhyay & Avi Kathapalia Production Design (Concept): Chayati Kaushik Stage Art and Set Design: Bhavna Govardhan Art Team: Ambari Designs - Balaji & Team Camera & Technical Team: Aaditi Hirani (1st Asst. Cinematographer) Camera Operators: Sharath, Gireesh, Yashas, Krishna, Maltesh, Durgesh & Pradeep FPV Drone Operator: Yamen Akhtar Mohammed (Axiom Aerials) Gaffer: Dharani & Team Camera Assistants: Sachin, Keerthi & Yashwanth Light Designers (Live Show): Ashwath & Baby Charles Technical Co-Ordination (Live Show): Gowtham Ganesan Camera Rental & Film Lighting: Darshan Gowda - Cams Shades Live Sound Recording Engineer: Atanu Sarkar & Team Sound and Light Technicals (Live Show): Chennai Art Theatre & Medai - The Stage  Audio Equipment Rental: Arun Vala - Crossfade Productions Live Show Producers: Oriole Entertainment, Ankur Bhargava, Yash Tiwari  Business Manager: Shubham Chawla Live Tour Manager: Kaustubh Unhale Daily Manager: Mayank Jaiswal Post Production (Myoho Films): Karan Kundnani, Prince Majithiya & Awais Saeed Intro Montage: Perception Media (Team: Saket Shyam, Vinimay Yadav, Sawan Panwar) DI & VFX: Doozyworks Studios DI Artist: Kshitij Verma VFX Team: Anish Kadam, Rahul H. Joshi, Sandip Gediya & Trupti Gangani Sound Mix & Master: Sreejith Menon Assistant Mix Engineer: Meher Anand Tikkas & Hrishikesh Mistry Sound Mixed at Island City Studios, Mumbai Music: ‘RED’ by Seedhe Maut Thumbnail: Pulkit Mehta Graphics: Sahil Singh & Rishi Sheth End Animation: Prachi Tembhare Subtitles: Verbolabs Hair & Makeup: Vijayalakshmi V DIT: Goutham - Shutter Space Studios Hard Drive Vendor: Vikas - Ankit Infotech Spot Boys: Om, William, Harsha, Aditya, Adarsh, Antony, Tejas, Harsh, Abhijith, Soni, Eshaan & Selvin Expendables Vendor: Cinema Angadi & Tapes World, Pradeep & Rajesh - NGM Marketing Opening Acts: Nishant Tanwar & Kushal Bhanushali Venue: Good Shepherd Auditorium, Bengaluru

Transcript

00:00:01St.

00:00:14Shurbhi bagin indya rade den. lend fo aide radesh me.

00:00:18There is still time!

00:00:18Time Raha Lootik Jaye Januri Telitesh Raha Hai

00:00:20The fool is like Azel

00:00:21And this is what British is talking about.

00:00:23Time

00:00:25I will not get any panan, I will also come, even if I am full, I will say the same brail, I am Kashmiri

00:00:29I can't see Samay keeping a lot of pros like Ajay subscribe Ajay

00:00:33Sa Jetet Ambhi Dekhi Nahi Jayati

00:00:38Okay bro, I have another question, would you rather

00:00:41प्रिहुखे लुई परितिजायना फिर्मुत्नेन पुर्ती पुर्ष विस से अगुत थे प्रिया अव्रशार मेध आसाई मर्वारान परिजायना विजी प्रिक्प्तर्म

00:01:11The boys and girls can play cricket in this style and then this is how they play and this is very big.

00:01:19Awdwe ki abid bart fart is blivn to not

00:01:27Jhalab Mencheshven Part Ghanta Veez Mahan Veezmen Plush Teji

00:01:41But two on two for Shajo this is a baad wai saar ek bass jora clap bachade bacha do

00:02:03It's time for you to clap. It's time for our opening act.

00:02:15How did you like his set?

00:02:18Was he so nervous backstage?

00:02:22My favorite hobby is just checking out the opening act backstage before a big show.

00:02:30I get mad, I find it so cute

00:02:34He was asking me how many people are there today? I have about 11-12 people.

00:02:38Get excited, yes brother, Masa will come

00:02:42They still have dreams in their eyes

00:02:44They still have dreams in their eyes

00:02:48Aze Excited Wit Stand Up

00:02:51One day I will also become a giant, wow

00:02:54This is so cute to me in the eyes because I was also like this at one time.

00:03:00There is one day

00:03:04Today is a day

00:03:07Kushal Banushali was putting in all his singing strength.

00:03:12And I was just looking at him from behind.

00:03:16How hard is the poor guy working?

00:03:19for an FIR

00:03:31There is no future left for the Aat form

00:03:35Mother fucked beer brother in safe

00:03:45He ruined my entire mental health.

00:03:50He also knows meditation.

00:03:56Nothing comes to me, my friend

00:03:59Shod in Yaar Bai Safe

00:04:04Damank Who Sold My Ferrari

00:04:16Three F's have come on me brother

00:04:19You know I always knew

00:04:21that one day I will be attacked

00:04:25But I thought that was why

00:04:29that I said something

00:04:36He didn't say anything in the episode.

00:04:40He was sitting quietly in the corner

00:04:42We Kashmiris die in the crossfire.

00:04:54Bai Sakhab

00:04:55What has this year been like for me?

00:05:00Woond bro

00:05:01Oh my God, bye

00:05:04The month of February is fucking hell bro

00:05:07Hell Broke Loose in February

00:05:09Let us all eat further

00:05:12politicians, celebrities

00:05:14Sunil Pal

00:05:19Sunil Pal was saying

00:05:21Tell them to learn from Kapil Sharma.

00:05:23Learn from Kapil Sharma

00:05:26Kapil Sharma himself appeared in the next episode.

00:05:36Kapil Sharma himself was messaging

00:05:38I love your show, big fan of the show,

00:05:39Bal Sharma was playing in the middle, what was going on in the middle,

00:06:11Everyone was ahead of that team, but Shaktiman had come to eat us, friend.

00:06:19Shaktimaan Riley, how will we fight Shaktimaan, friend, sorry Shaktimaan

00:06:29Shaktimaan was saying

00:06:30What impact will their content have on children?

00:06:33What will happen to children after seeing this content?

00:06:36I don't know how many of you used to watch TV in the Shaktimaan era.

00:06:41Neuse used to come every next month

00:06:43A child jumped from a building after watching Shaktimaan.

00:06:48You have killed the children brother with great gusto.

00:06:53Shaktiman, what moral high ground did you take to come to VAT?

00:06:56What brother, at that time everyone was ahead, friend, Fag Everybody

00:07:00for what? for a fag jog

00:07:03that people didn't like

00:07:05You have to do a little bit like this, friend.

00:07:07I couldn't believe it, the scale they took it to was insane, disproportionate

00:07:11How can you do so much for a small joke, man?

00:07:16Fucking okay, man, I said some beer and you talked dirty, man.

00:07:19If not, every one of your favourite comedians, influencers, podcasters, celebrity cricketers must do one thing in their life.

00:07:27On the internet, which has hurt people, everybody makes mistakes, man, I did, I once made a joke on abortion,

00:07:36I remember some people, especially girls, I know, were having a blast in the morning, I went on Twitter

00:07:45I didn't sleep that night, I thought it was a joke, funny, abor

00:07:57But I was in Adi Nin then, so I started replying to everyone, and fifteen girls too.

00:08:07So, I started writing replies, I wrote to four or five people that I have written about your mother, or,

00:08:20am sorry, there you have it, I am sorry about that, I was just naive, I thought I am being

00:08:26some

00:08:27Cool guy, you did something, I gave you the right, now the girls got angry and started making fun of me on Twitter.

00:08:32That we will cancel it, so I said I am not afraid of cancel culture.

00:08:37I will show you what a true comedian is

00:08:40Till then I had not joined the right wing.

00:08:45I thought this was cancel culture, girls would say something wrong, then she went ahead and said this.

00:08:50Comedians say anything and do not get any punishment, so it is also something.

00:08:54accountability this is not fair but let me tell you it is not so

00:08:59every time a comedian a public figure hurts people by saying something

00:09:03you lose that person that you have hurt from your audience forever

00:09:07that is the punishment you get

00:09:10because of how I behaved with those four women on the internet

00:09:1410,000 girls saw that and now they hate Samirana

00:09:18for life

00:09:19Now I can do whatever I want

00:09:21I will cure cancer

00:09:24Those 10,000 girls will say this is a sister fucker Samirana

00:09:29that is the punishment you get

00:09:31beer biceps said something about mabab

00:09:34So the mom who was hoping to watch his podcast might be heartbroken, so he said

00:09:38We will never see their podcast.

00:09:40that is the punishment that is fair, right?

00:09:42It should be, right?

00:09:45This doesn't happen, I have hit a bad time, the military has come home.

00:09:50Tankers are coming, private jets are flying, missiles are being dropped from hoppers, this is not all that happens.

00:09:56it was so unfair what was happening with beer biceps, man

00:10:00When I was watching this completely, the plum was stuck behind the bicep.

00:10:04I decided I will defend this guy until the fucking end

00:10:13But he hit Jog like that.

00:10:22I couldn't defend him at my home, my friend.

00:10:29My mother kept asking day and night, son, what did he say, no, leave it to me, friend.

00:10:34Oh brother, you are a mean man

00:10:41What did he say in the flow flow, mother's breasts

00:10:45If you see this, what are you doing there?

00:10:52Now even when Beer Bhais's father sleeps alone, he locks the door from inside.

00:11:02How do you defend such a bad thing, friend?

00:11:06Firstly, if someone else had said this, we could have tried to defend it.

00:11:11If I had said something so dirty, nothing would have happened.

00:11:14The problem is, Beer Bhaissss spent the first ten years building their image.

00:11:17Yoga, Meditation, Spirituality, Sadhana

00:11:22Then he is saying in my show, will you suck my dick?

00:11:30what are you doing brother

00:11:32Can't mix these two

00:11:35You either do yoga or suck cock

00:11:39Don't make this new posture by mixing both.

00:11:46Of course people must have gone in, what did he do, how did he say this?

00:11:50He broke character, right?

00:11:52C, I don't, I don't know if you know this or not, but

00:11:55You come to my show, I will tell you

00:11:57Whatever you see of us,

00:11:59Comedians, Creators, Actors, Celebrities, Public Figures

00:12:02You are never watching us as who we are

00:12:05We are just playing a character on the internet

00:12:08Because if we become honest,

00:12:10The things we do in real life

00:12:12If we do it on the internet,

00:12:14There are three FIRs of the day

00:12:18Just stay safe in India

00:12:20In India,

00:12:21Internet is not a platform

00:12:24You showcase your art

00:12:25In India,

00:12:26the internet is a game we play

00:12:29You set a high score in your bank accounts

00:12:35I too am on the internet,

00:12:36I'm just pretending, too.

00:12:38He is also a character.

00:12:40But the character I have created on the internet,

00:12:43Like I am in real life,

00:12:46He has made him even more of a faggot

00:12:50If you have to pretend,

00:12:53So you pretend to be gay on the internet, right?

00:12:56Because there's nothing better than a gay man

00:12:59I am not expecting

00:13:00I will talk dirty, people will say this is what this lowly man will do.

00:13:08If you have taken a clean image

00:13:10You will be very happy on the internet

00:13:12But you will always be stressed

00:13:14You will always be stressed once you hug me.

00:13:18The whole world will be ready to pull you down.

00:13:21A clean person can never become a scoundrel on the internet.

00:13:25The bastard can become clean at any time.

00:13:33Like I went to KBC

00:13:38I had gone, right?

00:13:39How much did I clean?

00:13:42No one suspected

00:13:45No one got angry as to why he broke his character.

00:13:48Isn't it, isn't it?

00:13:50Weren't any strange thoughts coming to my mind, should I go for OTC?

00:13:56It did not occur to me, Sir.

00:14:05You remembered so much about polio

00:14:08Still, why don't you feed your son at his feet, brother, Sir?

00:14:22Adhi Khul Sekhtaw

00:14:23I didn't do this, it's not mine?

00:14:25I did it sir, my grandmother is a big fan of yours.

00:14:29My bride is dead

00:14:34My grandmother will be seven years old now.

00:14:37But you have to play the room, it's a game, you are not honest on the Indian internet, you cannot

00:14:43be yourself, you play the game, you play the room, it's all a f***ing façade, I understand the game very

00:14:48very well.

00:14:49I thought I was going to BC, that I pretend to be a bastard everywhere, but here I will be clean, right?

00:14:55People will say, what a versatile creator, he can do the bastard as well as clean, what a crazy person.

00:15:01Guy, wow!

00:15:11That I clean everywhere, if I do something wrong here, people will say, what a crazy versatile person.

00:15:19guy, no, non-vegetarian can eat veg,

00:15:35vegetarian, non-vegetarian, he will eat and will vomit, here, he vomited very expensively,

00:15:43Overnight, I had to remove the entire show from YouTube. I had made this show with all my heart, you guys.

00:15:49We used to see that India's got latent,

00:15:54Everyone watched it, you know, we took the stat from YouTube,

00:15:59People used to watch my show on 4 crore unique devices monthly.

00:16:064 crore, 4 out of 100 people of our country used to watch my show, they were laughing, how did I

00:16:13That show is from YouTube.

00:16:14I only know that it broke me like anything man, I never wanted to remove it,

00:16:19I was in the US at that time and I got a call from Mumbai police.

00:16:23That you will have to remove all the episodes right now, I said I am not removing them sir, I live in a democracy,

00:16:29we have freedom of speech,

00:16:39So my editor has been arrested.

00:16:44My editor told me that there were 20 policemen sitting in the police station and they were now watching each episode.

00:16:55And they're making notes about where else this kind of language was used,

00:17:04I said, should I remove the Rakhi Sawant episode before people see it or,

00:17:14Had the police seen the Rakhi Sawant episode, they would have expelled me from the country, from Pakistan at that time.

00:17:22I was getting support,

00:17:25He was saying, you start our show, time brother, we will not crack even one of your jokes, I

00:17:33What is the knowledge of what you cut?

00:17:44I never wanted this level of controversy to happen, I used to play this internet game so safely.

00:17:50What should I tell you?

00:17:51The show you used to watch, India's Got Latent, the one hour you used to watch, that was the cleanest of all.

00:17:58I watched for an hour,

00:18:01Whoever has seen that show live, knows that the show used to be of five hours, the real controversial one was of four hours.

00:18:08So you never saw it,

00:18:11Because there was no script in that show, anyone could say anything, someone could joke on religion.

00:18:15I used to kill you, someone would joke about the cast,

00:18:18Someone would say something about LGBTQ, someone would say something sexist, then I would remove him, that

00:18:23No, no, on this the right wing will eat me up, no, on this the left wing will eat me up, friend.

00:18:27I used to include it in a full edit, I used to play it so safe, that was a 5 hour episode.

00:18:32No, in between his two and a half hours I used to take a break of half an hour as well,

00:18:36How was everyone's mental health, because it is very difficult to take non-stop jokes on oneself.

00:18:44It's work, friend.

00:18:45You see it on the edit, everyone's laughing, yeah yeah yeah yeah,

00:18:48In reality, someone would crack a joke on me, and then I would think about it while taking a bath at night.

00:18:55Why did he say that, yes, I have become fat,

00:19:01People keep laughing, yes.

00:19:03Everyone has their own security,

00:19:05And they do very dirty things,

00:19:07People are trying to fool the panelists,

00:19:09In the affair of being ours from De Urt,

00:19:10People of Cried and Left Panel Midway,

00:19:13Then I would go to everyone's rooms,

00:19:15that tomorrow someone might start crying on Twitter or on a podcast,

00:19:18That this happened to us,

00:19:19So at least let us say that the time had come but it is ours,

00:19:23Time is good, friend.

00:19:25That fellow is a fellow of the heart,

00:19:27Up to this stage I was playing the game safely,

00:19:31I went that day too.

00:19:32To kill Rahki after Firstoff in everyone's rooms,

00:19:35Beer went into the room from everyone,

00:19:36He was happy, he was doing it.

00:19:41he was doing,

00:19:45He is happy,

00:19:47Ashish Chanchlani was also happy,

00:19:49Balraj Khushtha,

00:19:50I am happy, everything was going as per the plan, we were having a great episode.

00:19:56Apurva was the only one who was crying after the first half, brother.

00:20:01You guys no apurva?

00:20:02U Purva, that girl on that panel, dude, I entered her room, she was crying like anything, she couldn't be

00:20:10crying harder.

00:20:11I went, I said something to you?

00:20:17This is my first photo.

00:20:21I did not say anything and kept going.

00:20:23Kari, you didn't say anything.

00:20:25I went, okay I'm leaving.

00:20:31But I didn't do anything, friend, they ask what happened, what did I do, what happened, why are you crying, yeah?

00:20:35Curry, it's okay, you go, I'll be fine.

00:20:38What should I do, tell me, what happened?

00:20:39Curry, time you go, you go, it's okay.

00:20:41I am Ka, Apurva, you are my guest, I am your host.

00:20:45If you don't tell me what's bothering you, as a host, I won't start this show.

00:20:50I will have to tell you, trust me like a brother and tell me what's bothering you.

00:20:55What did you say Mele?

00:21:00And, with great difficulty, with great courage, crying, crying, Apurva confessed her insecurity to me.

00:21:07He said, time, you're cracking a joke every two minutes, right on the spot.

00:21:13There is no scripty.

00:21:15I'm trying, but I've never done this before, so I'm feeling a lot of pressure.

00:21:20Yes, because of you.

00:21:21I am barely able to say something funny, now when this episode comes out, so many people will watch it, they will love me.

00:21:26They will abuse me, why did you call him, he did not call anything funny, I will be abused a lot, time, I have to come today.

00:21:31Didn't want it.

00:21:32I also told him no, no, he told me, and as he finished, I realized that men

00:21:47I don't know how to counsel him, I have asked him like a hero, what's bordering you,

00:21:58Mango Abdradar dick, come

00:22:02I thought, she is scaring me, she is crying, I will not give her anything, what will I say in this, I

00:22:07Here, I don't know emotional things, what about between two men, there are rarely any emotional things, AQ Develop

00:22:16It did not happen

00:22:17Have you ever asked each other how is Tulaoda, brother?

00:22:22You must be dying from inside, from outside today, today, this is how men live.

00:22:28The men here are in depression, they are doing it outside, but inside it is going on, they are not completing their father's journey.

00:22:33I found my friend

00:22:35That girl was right, I turned out to be a fool, he doesn't know where she might be, he is running away.

00:22:42We act all the time, we are men, we will show some emotions, suppress it inside.

00:22:46I am a man, what is this life brother, I have also defecated, I am some saintly man, I have also defecated.

00:22:53Apurva spoke to me after such an emotional outburst, she said while crying, "Time"

00:22:57I don't think I'm funny, I said Apurva

00:23:07You are right

00:23:13This is what I meant to say and I explained it to him, look

00:23:18You are not funny because you are not a comedian. I am a professional comedian I do it every day

00:23:23That's why I'm funny

00:23:24You can't do what I can do

00:23:27Who has to do what you can do, Shiva?

00:23:37I threw him up even more just to make him laugh.

00:23:42I thought she would laugh at this, but she started making the sound 'bhaa' and then she did not stop crying, friend.

00:23:47Then

00:23:47Then I shut up

00:23:50So she also kept quiet

00:23:52So I remained silent again

00:23:54I said I am stuck here quietly.

00:23:56I have said this, Apurva, there are no tears, you are a lion's son.

00:23:59And I ran upstairs

00:24:02Now I started the second half, Shocker

00:24:05A performer came in the second half brother

00:24:09A Gaulier wrapper

00:24:13He said the same things

00:24:15who do

00:24:17Gaulier's wrapper

00:24:21There was some altercation with her Apurva.

00:24:23They started saying things to each other

00:24:25He told her I am in your vagina

00:24:28I will create a sensation, I said something bad.

00:24:41My guest will not listen to such harsh words.

00:24:43I am the professional comedian, I am the man of the room

00:24:46I have to handle this

00:24:47I picked up the mic to give him a comeback

00:24:54And nothing else bothered me

00:24:57Sometimes even professionals freeze.

00:25:00I will remove this from the edit.

00:25:04I saw so much

00:25:05Apurva picked up the mic very casually.

00:25:07He said, have you ever seen a vagina, what is this, love, since birth

00:25:16My ass got burnt brother

00:25:22Why didn't I say this

00:25:27I'll remove this from the edit as well.

00:25:35This Panchala Inmari became very jealous and he

00:25:38Big fucking comeback, how in eight moments, four comedians did it well

00:25:41This, I was very jealous

00:25:43but I was so proud of her also

00:25:45because what a come back to have in that moment, you know

00:25:47Some things happen

00:25:49She is in the lurch in life

00:25:51Leave the surface level man, Apoorva, rapper, that was not the moment

00:25:56the moment was deeper, bigger than that

00:25:58it was not Apoorva giving comeback to a rapper from Gwalior

00:26:02it was a woman standing up for herself

00:26:05and winning against a man

00:26:11Pie, in this patriarchal setup

00:26:13where no one expatriates and so says something

00:26:16That girl killed him in his own language.

00:26:19she won, he lost, it was a powerful moment

00:26:23I was goosebumps, it was like

00:26:25When the raw balls were smashed in Lagaan

00:26:31I took that potty popper and popped it on Apoorva's head.

00:26:34I said, yeah, is our girl any less than the boys?

00:26:41three f f f f f f

00:26:47that is the price of women standing up for themselves

00:26:54If I could edit this episode again

00:26:58I would still keep her comeback in because I think she killed it man, I think she fucking killed it

00:27:07Sometimes I wish this episode would not have been aired today.

00:27:10I am sleeping now after taking sleeping pills, hiding my dark circles.

00:27:14What brother, my life was going so well till January.

00:27:18I am uploading every video on YouTube, it gets 5 crore views, 6 crore views, every third reel is mine on Instagram,

00:27:24Every podcast that talks about me has me in its thumbnail.

00:27:27Every celebrity wants to meet me, the reputation of other comedians is burning.

00:27:32Ohhhh

00:27:33Ohhhh

00:27:35Ohhhh

00:27:46Ohhhh

00:27:47I decided right then and there, it's time to go abroad, and I did the biggest U.S. tour of my life.

00:27:53Put

00:27:53Some 50,000 tickets I put out, they all went, sold out very very quickly and I was ready

00:28:00I booked arenas, I booked stadiums

00:28:03U.S. Now somewhere and I have arrived, I am coming in my peak to fucking conquer the

00:28:08world

00:28:08I went into the full Alexander the Great mindset.

00:28:12I booked that flight, U.S. first class, the bear fell, the flight took off, came up, I

00:28:21Remove your iPad

00:28:22I said, "I'll just edit this episode of Dear Biceps, then I won't have any stress on the U.S. tour."

00:28:30don't want

00:28:38I came to LA

00:28:38Now that was footage of five idiots, I had to cut it, should I cut it or not, this and that jog goes away,

00:28:44Yata, Yata, Yata,

00:28:45I am doing it, I am reducing it, I am reducing it, I am reducing 5 lumps into one lump

00:28:48Now when I meet many people, they ask me a question.

00:28:53That time brother, if you have that much brain

00:28:59So you've seen that nasty beer biceps

00:29:04Why not remove it from the edit?

00:29:08I swear to you, I'll tell you the truth

00:29:13In that episode, Bear Biceps asked that question.

00:29:18Was booed eight times

00:29:31And apart from this, he had many other strange questions.

00:29:37So now that I've seen the edit

00:29:39I said, oh, she is talking very dirty.

00:29:44Let me keep one

00:29:46I remove all the rebels

00:29:49So from my POV, I killed 99% of the insects, didn't I?

00:30:00I had no idea that even one percent would become a pandemic, friend.

00:30:08Our flight landed in Seattle.

00:30:11Three days later I was in Seattle.

00:30:15We got down, Balraj and I.

00:30:17Balraj is my best friend, he comes with me everywhere.

00:30:20because yes, he doesn't respect his family

00:30:27There are two injured children from

00:30:30I went out and

00:30:38We went to the hotel room and from there I pressed episode upload.

00:30:41Nothing happened on the first day for Members Only.

00:30:48The next morning I started feeling a little hateful.

00:30:50That clip came on Twitter and I started reading some abuses about it.

00:30:53I said, okay, it's a usual cycle

00:30:56On the third morning, the morning of my mourning

00:30:59Balraj woke me up from my sleep.

00:31:01He said, time has passed

00:31:05I say, what has happened?

00:31:07What has Veer Baisre said?

00:31:08People did not like it at all

00:31:11I ka, so

00:31:12Why are you watching his podcast?

00:31:20I put the blanket

00:31:21What is going on, hey bastard, what he said in your show

00:31:23See what's going on on Twitter

00:31:26So I opened Twitter and looked.

00:31:28So beer Biceps was trending at No. 1

00:31:32And I was at No. 2.

00:31:35So first of all take my song, I have become No. 2

00:31:39This number should be

00:31:40I'm trending with Beer Biceps

00:31:43I completely ignored him

00:31:45Because now I have been used to it for 8 years.

00:31:47I'm on the internet, people's out-rate cycle

00:31:50People will abuse for three days, people will abuse for four days, then on the fifth day their boss says, come on brother, now

00:31:55Create an Excel sheet.

00:31:57I am so close to few people that they keep reading this, that this will go away.

00:32:01Is it time? There is a debate going on about investment.

00:32:05I'm like, what? What's the debate about? Who are they answering? Look at the Alan biography.

00:32:13their?

00:32:24I saw the next news on YouTube and they are doing the same thing.

00:32:27These people, the Batwamiz Brigade, are spoiling the youth of our country.

00:32:31This was the entire narrative of the media.

00:32:33We are ruining the country

00:32:37Shame on you media people

00:32:39We are ruining the country

00:32:41We are just making the country laugh, entertaining it, people will stop laughing, people will stop raising questions.

00:32:49We will start, we are making people laugh haha, this reel they are busy in it, we

00:33:00They are just misleading the people, the media, the same team,

00:33:11Who cares about friendly fire, man?

00:33:15The media is busy sucking TRP from us.

00:33:18They will suck for three days, they will suck for four days, then some other scandal will happen in the country.

00:33:22Then they will suck it from there, these people will go away.

00:33:24Isn't it, it's such a big country, there's bound to be some scandal or the other.

00:33:28Nothing happened for those two weeks, friend.

00:33:36Udit Narayan also stopped taking papaya.

00:33:42Get a puppy, man

00:33:44After that he used to say you-you in the show, brother, what are you doing friend

00:33:47Hindus and Muslims were like brothers for those two weeks.

00:33:50No train derailed, nothing.

00:33:53We are not just moving away from the news cycle.

00:33:55How did we know it would be so

00:33:57We went to shows, we had two shows in Seattle

00:34:00I went out to shove, not before the first shove

00:34:03I was playing chess backstage

00:34:05Someone took my photo and tagged me.

00:34:08I shared it in the story.

00:34:10Playing chess, shove time

00:34:12I've come down from the shower

00:34:15This story was on every news channel.

00:34:19Are you playing chess there?

00:34:22All this happened, and here he is playing chess over there?

00:34:25Bring him to India, is he playing chess there?

00:34:30So for the first time I started to tear up.

00:34:34Because at night I

00:34:36Poker had to go blooming

00:34:43I said if he is saying so much to me in chess

00:34:47At night when the leaves are crushed, I will see

00:34:52He said that he has not been affected by the fraud.

00:34:54This stupid man was grinding leaves and sitting there he was being stupid.

00:34:56And if the bring me to India narrative increases

00:35:00And brought me to India

00:35:01So I'll have to cancel the biggest US tour of my life.

00:35:05So I will incur a huge loss or

00:35:08So our team calculated the scenario of Salt if he had to come to India immediately after cancelling the show.

00:35:14How much loss do I have to bear?

00:35:17eight crore rupees

00:35:21I swear to God

00:35:22How much money do I have in total at that time?

00:35:25Was in Savings, Should I Tell You?

00:35:28eight crore rupees

00:35:34I was torn to four pieces, I said, oh fuck

00:35:37There's a possibility, whatever I've earned over the years

00:35:40everything goes to shit, what will I do?

00:35:42I have my life savings, I had to build this house, I had to do all this.

00:35:45I have so much anxiety, in general I suffer from anxiety.

00:35:49My backstage has increased so much, I'm shivering before the second show, my heart is pounding, loud

00:35:54I am sweating and feeling like I have vertigo.

00:35:56It is getting stuck here, I have told Balraj, brother, I am feeling very, very anxious.

00:36:01Balraj Bhai

00:36:03zero ability to console

00:36:10He has put his chat on GPT in front of me.

00:36:20my friend is anxious, what to say

00:36:24Then after reading it he is making clichés, brother, this two shall pass

00:36:30Better to sit quietly or

00:36:33Don't give these clichés, brothers listen to me carefully, when someone is in trouble, they don't

00:36:38want advice, they want a hug, they want you to say, water, you want water, how are you feeling, ask,

00:36:44Don't give, all my friends hugged me, everyone is messaging me this way, giving me this advice.

00:36:49I got a message from my therapist, this month free, I called the therapist.

00:36:58Someone sent me a message, I said, I am having tremendous anxiety, these people said, India, India, India, to me

00:37:02Hot aga I, Akar are taking this, I, please say, don't do anything like this, I, I, I, I, I,

00:37:05I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I

00:37:28I said you're a pile, I'll change the show a little, the value of the dollar is increasing.

00:37:36This is the time, you please understand, you cannot go on stage with so much anxiety, you have to understand

00:37:42If you go on stage with this much nervousness, the audience will see it on your face, first of all, that

00:37:48yours is torn

00:37:50Once the audience sees your nervousness on your face, no matter how good a joke you tell,

00:37:55Beat it, they will not laugh at it, because they will be concerned for you

00:37:58and if it spoils your happiness, then that will play on your mind, you will go into a spiral

00:38:05So I disconnected the phone

00:38:08It's giving this negativity

00:38:12I give her money to uplift her, she is only suppressing her niche, this khoti

00:38:22And it seems it will show on my face.

00:38:28Please, professional comedian

00:38:33I can't see anything on this face

00:38:36I grew up in Andhra Pradesh.

00:38:40Is there anyone here in Andhra Pradesh, yes, it was the worst experience I had.

00:38:51Worst experience of my life

00:38:54My mom and dad got married in Kashmir, they were living a great life in the early 90s

00:39:01And at that time my father had a very good position in the media, she used to earn fifteen thousand rupees there.

00:39:05were then

00:39:06There was a channel called DD Kashmir, and he was a news reporter, a very well-respected guy

00:39:10And then there was militancy, there was a lot of sabotage, there, you all know what happened

00:39:15and then they had to leave the valley in early 90s, 1991 My mother and father, they left Kashmir, they

00:39:22went to Delhi

00:39:22But my mind did not go there, because you grew up in one place, you have your everything attached, your

00:39:27friends, your house, your homeland

00:39:29They went back in 96, in 97 I was born and in 98 our house was shot at.

00:39:36and overnight he had to leave for his family for our safety and he left and in search of

00:39:41a new private job

00:39:43He landed in Hyderabad and my father's dream was to put me in the best school of Hyderabad

00:39:49There was a school there, which was a castle from the Nizam period, they converted it into a school, HPS

00:39:55And it was a very prestigious school, the fees there were Rs 50,000 per semester.

00:40:01We did not have the means to go there.

00:40:03But Papa worked hard for eight to ten years, did not take any sick leave, complete grind, he got better offers in the company,

00:40:10he still stayed loyal, he did his work very diligently

00:40:13and finally when I was in seventh grade, he could afford and he put me in that school of his

00:40:17dreams and I went to that school

00:40:24And I got beaten up on the very first day of school because I couldn't fit in there, there were all Telugu kids there.

00:40:32Yes, their genitals have become erect, till 7th grade.

00:40:35I'm suddenly a new kid, looking different, talking differently.

00:40:40and dude, they just fucking bullied me for years in that school and I just did not understand why, maybe

00:40:46Because I was just the different kid, the only blonde kid shining in class

00:40:55I have been subjected to racism

00:40:59Will anyone believe this?

00:41:01People say, no, friend, you shouldn't talk to black people, you shouldn't talk to white people either.

00:41:09Racism and discrimination is not about who's the darker skinned, it's about who's the most different kid, who's most unlike

00:41:15you

00:41:15and I was that kid and for fucking years, the first whole week, that rubber band made some paper

00:41:22They would poke me in the eye, steal my snacks, and sometimes even ruin my books.

00:41:26I had a crush, whenever I tried to talk to her, she would humiliate me in front of me.

00:41:31What bag do I have, no self-confidence, nothing, it used to frighten me to go to the school

00:41:36Sometimes once a week my father would say, I will come to pick you up from school.

00:41:39I swear, I used to feel embarrassed if any child saw my father's Maruti 800.

00:41:46No, then they will humiliate you again the next day

00:41:48I used to tell my father, 'Dad, now there is that ice cream shop, please get it cooked there.'

00:41:53What will I do if I eat ice cream? I love the ice cream there. My teeth are sensitive, but what can I say, Papa?

00:42:01to, that this car

00:42:14He would beat me, he would beat me there too, he would tell mom something, what would she do, she would get into trouble with me and dad.

00:42:21In between, I would tell her, please don't tell Papa, then she would have that guilt, so I would hide.

00:42:26I used to take it, I used to come back from school after getting beaten up, I used to cry the whole school bus.

00:42:30I was alone at the bat, I would just keep crying, my shirt would be torn, I would get down, only my mother would be standing there holding my shirt.

00:42:35She used to ask very innocently, how was your day, son?

00:42:41I ka, aa,

00:42:44Grazie,

00:42:46What are you saying, how did your shirt get torn?

00:42:48What about me, did you fall when we played cricket?

00:42:51Krith ni jor se?

00:42:53I said, this is what happens between friends?

00:42:56Weren't you friends?

00:42:58So keep saying, my blessings are with you.

00:43:01I said, I never let my mother see emotions on my face.

00:43:05The audience will see the dick, do something.

00:43:11will go

00:43:13will go

00:43:15will go

00:43:17will go

00:43:18will go

00:43:19I was very nervous before the second show, I was trying to catch my breath.

00:43:23Then he shouted my name.

00:43:25Give it up for Samay Rayna

00:43:27I did this

00:43:29This is what people do

00:43:32I did this

00:43:35How did that 1.5 Ganta performance happen?

00:43:37I only know

00:43:38I'm so proud of myself

00:43:40nobody in that room could tell

00:43:46nobody could tell

00:43:47I was just

00:43:49running out of memory

00:43:50I knew where to get a pass.

00:43:52Where to smile

00:43:54just fucking faking it

00:43:55people are shouting

00:43:56We are with you, no need

00:44:00I am doing great

00:44:01mmm

00:44:03That show ended

00:44:05thank you guys that was my time

00:44:06Everyone stood up and shouted

00:44:08yeah yeah yeah

00:44:09to check what has happened

00:44:13dude, my phone

00:44:15I was getting calls and calls

00:44:18and messages from random people

00:44:20I realized that my number

00:44:21It had never been leaked

00:44:22There are some nasty abuses coming

00:44:25Death threats are coming

00:44:26My parents' photo is turning yellow

00:44:27Someone is threatening that they will kill him wherever they see him.

00:44:30it escalated like anything that evening

00:44:34On my last Instagram post

00:44:3620,000 comments reached

00:44:38And now those people with festivities have also come who

00:44:41The one that comes with the flag later, the one with the triangle

00:44:45I get distracted by these

00:44:46Y

00:44:48Because they don't even want to make an excel sheet, let them go next time.

00:44:57I said Balraj Bhai

00:44:58If I sit down and watch all this,

00:45:00I will lose my mind my entire US tour

00:45:02I'm turning off my phone

00:45:03You monitor the entire

00:45:05unless something crazy happens

00:45:06don't tell me

00:45:07and for casinos

00:45:11I have to be distracted

00:45:13Gotta be distracted at this time

00:45:14I enjoy playing poker

00:45:15I want to book a cab.

00:45:17don't talk to me about this

00:45:19I turned off the phone

00:45:21He booked a cab to the casino.

00:45:23Punjabi driver has arrived

00:45:25we have forgotten

00:45:26Everywhere in the world is

00:45:27India, we cancelled it.

00:45:29and a float again

00:45:31Punjabi driver has arrived

00:45:33Where should an Indian criminal go, brother?

00:45:40I said, let's sit now, Bai.

00:45:41Let us sit now

00:45:43As soon as we entered the cab

00:45:45He also recognized his uncle.

00:45:47Time Paji

00:45:49I said yes Paji

00:45:50Said everything will be alright

00:45:54I talked about this time

00:45:56will not do C

00:45:59where is cc

00:46:03He took me to the casino

00:46:05There were two watches outside.

00:46:07Both Indian

00:46:08The restaurant inside is run by Indians.

00:46:10The waiter is Indian and is distributing Indian cards.

00:46:12what is going on or

00:46:15Christopher Columbus

00:46:16had his song killed for eight years

00:46:19Where are the Indians?

00:46:20Have you ever come here by ship?

00:46:22Come here sometime with a ship, hey Indians

00:46:24Where is the lady

00:46:25Look down, your ship is being piloted by Indians.

00:46:28that you swallow your

00:46:30That

00:46:36I fucked it, I was lying inside

00:46:39There was a Gujarati dealer at the poker table.

00:46:41He gave two bad addresses.

00:46:43I said that Anch

00:46:46do this time

00:46:51I'm like this this this bru

00:46:54Kara what are you doing here

00:46:56I said I just came to play

00:46:57some poker man, what is this

00:46:59What is going on in this?

00:47:00I said leave it, friend, you play poker, let me know.

00:47:03What is the time brother, it's going very wrong

00:47:05You just shift here

00:47:08I told you to play brother, you don't know

00:47:09Share it friend, what is the time brother

00:47:11This hasn't happened to every legend.

00:47:13is this

00:47:15It also happened with Chamkila

00:47:21I of

00:47:21My brother

00:47:24For them

00:47:25I was shot, man

00:47:28why are you messing up my song

00:47:30you are hiding

00:47:31Share addresses, friend

00:47:32What are you saying, listen to me for two minutes.

00:47:34I don't want to hear your secret words

00:47:36So here Gori was sitting and he was saying what is curry, so he is saying it to her.

00:47:40you don't know what happens

00:47:46is saying

00:47:47Jahaz Three Effigies

00:47:48An Hum

00:47:52Me too

00:47:52It is then that I found out

00:48:02what about me

00:48:05Anything

00:48:06I turned on my phone and opened Twitter.

00:48:08If the signal does not come, I will go out and Balraj Baga is behind me.

00:48:10We saw them come down outside the casinos

00:48:12Signal Eye

00:48:14Three FIRs were filed against me overnight.

00:48:17in Maharashtra

00:48:19in Jaipur

00:48:20in Assam

00:48:26What did I do in Assam?

00:48:28I saw who filed the FIR in Assam.

00:48:32He has not been made the CM of Assam.

00:48:35Dude, when I saw that the CM did not file an FIR,

00:48:39I heart it like anything

00:48:41I got so scared

00:48:44I could not believe that the CM is

00:48:46against me, the media is against me, politicians

00:48:48My fans are against me

00:48:50have turned on me, by making those memes

00:48:52He is trolling, I swear to

00:48:54God, I started to feel like this

00:48:56I am in a dream

00:48:58This is not a reel word

00:49:00I swear, it's all a dream

00:49:03I'm seeing things

00:49:04and I am unable to

00:49:06see if it's real or not, I'm touching

00:49:08them to see, am I in a dream, what is happening

00:49:10it is the worst state to be in

00:49:12This is called psychosis

00:49:14Some people just can't get out of this state.

00:49:16I got so scared

00:49:18I am trying to understand

00:49:20I got so scared

00:49:22Balraj looked at me, brother, are you okay?

00:49:24I don't understand, brother.

00:49:26Cara brother, this you shaal

00:49:29What am I, you shut up brother.

00:49:32So what happens is you

00:49:35Same thing Distu, shut up,

00:49:37Did you immediately realize this or not?

00:49:39So I am alive if this is with me

00:49:44I disconnected the call, who should I talk to?

00:49:47I feel a little relieved, I don't understand.

00:49:48What's happening, I looked at the phone, it was Tanme Bhai's

00:49:50Miskolc is coming, so I called him back

00:49:55First call to Tanmay Bhatt, I said, I must have learnt something

00:49:59To AIB, he said, time is my thing

00:50:03Listen carefully, India

00:50:05It is a country of contacts, everything is done here through contact.

00:50:09So just find out who the thirteenth biggest contact is.

00:50:13Catch hold of the minister, touch his feet, tell him, Sir, please help.

00:50:16Then the media will not come after you, this is your only chance

00:50:19Otherwise tomorrow the media will be at your house, tomorrow the police will be at your house

00:50:22you have to act right now

00:50:24Do you have someone who has a good relationship with the ministers?

00:50:29I have said it, right?

00:50:32beer biceps

00:50:42I have no contact, Deepak Kalal was messaging me.

00:50:48He was saying, don't worry brother, I am with you, this is what I am afraid of, brother.

00:50:52Don't give up right now

00:50:55Rakhi Sawant was fighting with him on the internet

00:50:58They say when bad times come

00:51:01Then you will understand who your real culprit is.

00:51:05Deepak Kalal and Rakhi Sawant are my real friends

00:51:12I have earned this by coming into this life.

00:51:16Am I doing something wrong, or

00:51:20I smashed the whole phone, my biggest

00:51:22Who is Kontek, who is my eldest

00:51:24The most powerful phone in my phone

00:51:26It turned out to be a contact of the head of the KBC team. When I went to KBC, he liked me very much.

00:51:33He gave me his number and said if anything happens, please tell me.

00:51:39How desperate I must be, imagine this, I sent her my first message.

00:51:42Sir, can you please help me, Sir, stay on this side, remember I came to KBC, Sir, I

00:51:46Amitabh Sir laughed a lot, Sir, Sir, please do something, Sir, Sir, Sir, please, Sir, please, Sir, please,

00:51:50Please, please, please, saying, what happened?

00:51:55I said, you don't know what happened?

00:51:58Saying, I'm in Singapore, love, what's wrong?

00:52:02I said, love, um,

00:52:09B-er Biceps came to my show, and he cracked a joke, sir, and people got really angry

00:52:15Yes, sir, she is threatening to kill me in my mind, sir,

00:52:18He is saying, what a joke you made, did you miss me too?

00:52:25I said, this joke, even if I don't send it to them,

00:52:29So, you will get a call from Amit Bachchan, Tarima's Bhushana!

00:52:43We gave it to him, Poliya Kad and Bez Vape, he is getting Poliya Kad, pass it to him.

00:52:48Chishus,

00:52:49Hey, feed him kheer, feed him kheer, put kheer in his mouth, I have put kheer in his mouth, I am courageous.

00:53:03I will not send them the video, friend, how can I send it, I said, sir, it's okay, I will definitely watch it.

00:53:11Yes, Amitabh sir, friend, he is very active.

00:53:14I liked him so much on Twitter, I left such a good impression on him, when

00:53:21He must have seen me on TV news, he must have thought at first that I was aiming something big.

00:53:26Get some Paramveer Chakras

00:53:29you do you your your your

00:53:54He must have vomited blood here.

00:53:57Surya Mancham must have happened with them

00:54:01Sooryavanshi or Mitabji

00:54:04Oh I

00:54:06that night

00:54:07Two Verse Nights of My Life

00:54:10No one is replying to contacts

00:54:12Somebody showed the beating

00:54:14Disappearing messages from your people have arrived

00:54:17No one is replying

00:54:18The one or two contacts are scolding me instead.

00:54:20Don't message us right now, don't vote, view this

00:54:22The order is being placed

00:54:23I'm dead after doing two shows.

00:54:26It's two or three in the morning in bed

00:54:28It's two o'clock in the afternoon in India.

00:54:31What about all the media people here?

00:54:34kilojoules in their veins

00:54:36They are killing me with full energy.

00:54:39TRP sucker than me

00:54:41I'm just lying dead on the bed

00:54:43He had just come to Neo last night.

00:54:45So it seems like a jerk

00:54:46I feel like a jerk

00:54:49I felt my heart never

00:54:51the rattling will stop

00:54:52I was so scared just looking at

00:54:55YouTube lives of news channels

00:54:56I saw a news

00:54:58Some baba sitting with a reporter

00:55:00he is saying

00:55:01It is better to kill such people.

00:55:05and the reporter is saying

00:55:06what have you said sir

00:55:09This is going on openly

00:55:11I saw a news

00:55:14Assam Police

00:55:15arrived on time

00:55:16At home in Pune

00:55:19And my ass got torn

00:55:22Because in Pune

00:55:23I have no home

00:55:29Whose house did the Assam Police reach, friend?

00:55:32So I

00:55:33Did you zoom in and watch the news?

00:55:35I was in college growing up in Pune.

00:55:39There I am a

00:55:40I lived in a PG

00:55:42My Jio number is still linked there.

00:55:45Assam Police has recovered some back contacts.

00:55:48That address will be found

00:55:49They must have thought we would arrest him before the rest of the state.

00:55:53Our name will also be Assam Police

00:55:55Those eight policemen reached there in two flights.

00:56:01He must be some college student in PG singing Ja Van Ja Maar

00:56:08whatever their allowance will be

00:56:10Hight police have come, Assam police have come, hight chart, where do you want to get this stuff, Assam police have come, hight

00:56:26Oh, the children must have pissed you off.

00:56:31Oh man, Assam police must have come upstairs

00:56:40If this is the time to stay, the children must be worried, you did not tell us, if we have time to stay

00:56:46Where am I going to drink it?

00:56:49The police must have done a thorough search, they must have found those rolling papers, that bong, that electricity bill,

00:57:00Children keep crushed paper inside, the police must have opened that paper, let's see what is inside it.

00:57:12There is marijuana in it, there are no jokes in it, that night was something else, I never thought of it,

00:57:27I will fall so low in my mental health that I will have to take sleeping pills someday, what can I do to increase my

00:57:33Tharpis said, you have to sleep.

00:57:36Your time zone is also bad, everyone is active there, you should go to sleep now, you should go to sleep, you

00:57:41go to sleep, will see tomorrow, i said, how am i sleeping, no no aare, sleep, do, go have melatonin 3mg,

00:57:46There is a medicine available for sleeping, I took it.

00:58:09It was a 64mg pack, I am addicted to almost a bottle, and, I tell you, never try this at home, fun

00:58:18I have come, I was flying in the air after being lifted, I keep flying again, am I sleeping or, Dhadak

00:58:28In my body, I slept like a baby, I slept for 16 hours, I woke up at four in the afternoon,

00:58:36Balraj was snoring beside me, so I thought, if he has slept so peacefully, then why not sleep at night?

00:58:43I must have de-isolated myself, otherwise he would have picked me up by now, or else he would have

00:58:50I later noticed that melatonin packet.

00:59:06The Chief Minister had given his statement against us, goons had arrived, vandalism was going on in the residence, police

00:59:12She came, some 20-30 policemen came there, now they are threatening Purva and her family with death.

00:59:18Threats are coming, Ranveer's mom is at Bachari's clinic, there are goons there.

00:59:36Everyone's life was going well, I took it all upon myself and I felt so guilty.

00:59:42Now then, I saw one video that Balraj's wife sent to me and that broke me completely, that was the

00:59:48final nail in the coffin, inside the habitat, Balraj's parents, who are in their 70s, no fault of theirs,

00:59:57They just run that comedy club, where we used to shoot, inside that, when

01:00:02The young men were falling at the feet of the policemen, saying, Sir, please let us go, but we did not do anything.

01:00:07Hey, I fucking broke down, looking at that video and I was just crying, I was just crying, just crying,

01:00:16I woke Balraj up, he saw, he is stressed, he has received 20-30 calls, he is nervous here and there.

01:00:21It has happened, both of them are worried about what to do now, how to get out of this, fucking scared to

01:00:27Death, what is happening, I cannot understand, and the worst thing that happened at this moment was my mother's video

01:00:35I got a call, how can I answer it, should I show it to my mother, I am crying, the bat is broken.

01:00:44Yes, what happened to them, friend, I don't know how to love my mother, she is the

01:00:51most innocent soul I have ever met, she is a pure, pure,

01:00:55pure hearted woman

01:00:56When I went to KBC

01:00:58They didn't even have to broadcast a message.

01:01:00He messaged each guy at night.

01:01:02My son will be on TV tomorrow.

01:01:03My son will be on TV tomorrow.

01:01:05I could not pick up that call

01:01:10I hung up that phone

01:01:11I wiped my tears, I did it in audio.

01:01:13I said

01:01:14Hello

01:01:16Gary, are you okay son?

01:01:19I of

01:01:20What will happen to me?

01:01:23Gary, are you sure?

01:01:24I of

01:01:25I keep seeing all this happen, friend.

01:01:27Gary, come on.

01:01:28My blessings are with you

01:01:30I hung up the phone

01:01:32In two seconds she called Balraj

01:01:34and I heard it on the phone

01:01:36She said, son, please take care of us

01:01:38This is not right at all

01:01:42I felt so ashamed of myself at that time.

01:01:44Who am I hiding from, brother?

01:01:46Why am I keeping quiet?

01:01:47She sees through this bullshit

01:01:49She must be crying there too.

01:01:50His family members must be taunting him too.

01:01:51I'm crying here

01:01:52She needs me right now, I need her right now

01:01:54I just called her in video to show her my face

01:01:57and dude, she was a mess

01:01:59She was shaking, my mother was crying to me.

01:02:02That Bita, what would have happened, would have been their thought

01:02:04I felt so fucking shitty that I did this to her

01:02:07and I'm crying, she's crying

01:02:09We both are crying on the phone.

01:02:12Father is calling me

01:02:22Mother's brother

01:02:23We are crying

01:02:25Here Pay Ting Ting Ting Ting

01:02:27What are you selling, father?

01:02:29Baba is sending memes

01:02:32Then it suddenly hit me

01:02:34If he is a father then he is a boy

01:02:38Sigma Mail will be forming

01:02:41He must be crying inside the room

01:02:42must be doing nataab in front of me

01:02:45yellow means I am fine

01:02:47So I called mommy

01:02:49Mummy please keep Papa's faith

01:02:51Inside he is becoming strong in front of me.

01:02:53I understand these

01:02:54Just like I was becoming strong in front of you, he is also doing the same.

01:02:57Please take care of him inside, he must be crying.

01:03:00So my mother said this funny thing

01:03:04He said, son

01:03:05This maturity that he is stealing from his father

01:03:10I have grown old while doing this

01:03:15He is also ignoring me, Veta.

01:03:19It doesn't matter to him, he is laughing inside his vest.

01:03:24I said, I will do it myself, friend, one sex

01:03:26I have gone to sin, father what are you doing friend, my noise is gone, everything is gone, you don't cry

01:03:29are you there friend

01:03:31They are saying that my home in Kashmir is gone, I did not cry then.

01:03:44Who am I even telling this to?

01:03:48Papa has no emotion, not a single tear, Papa woz zaschil

01:03:53By then everyone else's had been torn, my friends have all gone mad, even my brother's body is in my body

01:03:58was torn

01:03:59For three-four days they did this thing that, hey this happened to us too, then we did this

01:04:03I did what I did, on the fourth day I got angry with him, what happened brother?

01:04:10Supreme, Supreme coat in Supreme coat

01:04:13Whenever there's severe turbulence in the flight, everyone's eyes are on Erostas, Erostas's body.

01:04:20If the language is fine then everything is fine, Erostas hi bagal noch ke video, then whom will you watch, how to feel

01:04:30work, when your

01:04:42Uao tolthim abartu ki aita, shirt pόσ inha pram kyu inha why shlodbchh rojch. Papa aisa hoge, fashlua edsa ho

01:04:47Gaye, Mal Idaad he is the protector, Varu Jesus where. Oh on ka aa all Pris 00000 that's fine son

01:05:05You Aryans loved this

01:05:09Varsal vrouw fame, heij aur logo awahiyenge, u no naavkh bhi aayenge, u rok bhi do betae hain.

01:05:15Avahain ab laukh in vrot ve avart.

01:05:32Wahain rakha yuje laoje to deki hai nune.

01:05:34I said, Papa, I love you so much.

01:05:36Come on, good night.

01:05:41Fer, fer.

01:05:43A father will never say I love you to his son.

01:05:47It's awkward to break up with dad, isn't it?

01:05:49Do you want to talk about love or not?

01:05:51With Mummy, O my Mummy, O my sore son,

01:05:55He will eat something, he will eat something else.

01:05:56Sometimes to Papa, I am here, Papa.

01:06:01If it happens, it seems strange, doesn't it?

01:06:03Do you know why this happens to you boys even after thinking about it?

01:06:08This is the path you have set out on.

01:06:11I am a man.

01:06:13Your father is standing at the finish line of this road.

01:06:18This is in the road

01:06:21You keep suppressing your emotions, you grow up into a man

01:06:25who is emotionally stunted, unable to express with his own children, with his own son

01:06:30I am telling you guys, I am telling you,

01:06:33Your father loves you no less than your mother does.

01:06:37They just don't understand that science.

01:06:39You are the educated ones, your father has worked hard for your life today

01:06:44It's on you, I am telling you

01:06:46Go and break it, drink your father's milk which is ghutna

01:06:50You will see that piglet in his den, your father is an emotional person and you'll be so happy to find it.

01:06:59It's a fucking scratch card at our father's market, I'm telling you, go home today, go, go

01:07:04Tell Papa, Papa, I love you, tell me.

01:07:07Say no, say face, face.

01:07:09No no, do it ten times, mouth, do it, do it slowly, mouth.

01:07:15It will be very awkward, it will be very, it will be four days, it will be five days, do that, do it, do it, do it, the coupon code will come out,

01:07:23Brother.

01:07:26I am telling you, man, come close to your parents.

01:07:32Not like beer biceps.

01:07:39Up, from above.

01:07:43Apart from friendship and mother, there is nothing in this world.

01:07:47And there is something, the hand of God on me, my mother's prayers above, the coat that is with me

01:07:52The summons did not come.

01:07:53And I came back to India, on my own terms, after finishing my most successful US tour, ever.

01:08:03Return flight, we were nervous, Balrach and I, now India will land, police will arrest us, now fuck Id

01:08:08We are drinking, drinking, the flight has landed in Mumbai city,

01:08:12We came out, breathed heavily, coughed, came out, Balrach went to duty free, out of habit

01:08:27And to buy liquor, do they have time to buy liquor brother, there will be media and police outside, we will have two

01:08:33Bring the bottle, come out

01:08:39What will our image be, what will people think, these guys are fools, time is saying by one gate.

01:08:45The forest is moving, what am I doing, then bring one Manli, one Roku, come and take it.

01:08:53He went, I said, put it in the back quietly, he went shopping.

01:08:57He is doing it, now I looked far and wide, there is no media, no police, no one, this is

01:09:03It is very strange, these media people are dogs, they throw biscuits at them, this is the whole Parleji thing.

01:09:10The box has arrived, how is it missing?

01:09:14So I told my lawyer, man, sir, you said, come in a hoodie, come to Mass, be here.

01:09:18We will go, no one here is saying, time, you are God's favourite child, you used to say

01:09:25There was no chance that some incident might happen, something bad might happen in the country.

01:09:42The whole of Mumbai is after Kunal Kamra, brother, he is God, I am telling you, he is not lost just like that brother.

01:09:58God, oh my god, I could not believe my stars, we landed, what could be the odds, that

01:10:06Kunal Kamra then thought of posting this video and he did.

01:10:10Or the video he shot some four months before Habitat, the entire Shiv Sena has offended, he has come.

01:10:17Habitat again, again those idiots are vandalizing, beating up the very people who have their hands on them.

01:10:24The plastering was just done.

01:10:24They are beating him after removing the plaster and Balraj has no idea, he is buying liquor there

01:10:31He is there, this is his venue, he is having small talk with the cashier, where is he from, from Bhopal.

01:10:39He is turning off the gas, he is doing this there, oh my god

01:10:50That Balraj came with a smile, carrying four bottles, a nuclear bomb in my hand, now what should I do?

01:11:00I'll tell him that he won't be able to drink all of it today, so I just handed it to him.

01:11:08Grabbed the phone and bottles, now brother one get one

01:11:13You should have looked at his face, brother, he has become so nervous, I saw myself inside him, who is the casino's

01:11:20I was outside, so I took advantage of the opportunity, I, Balraj, did she pass, which is what happens,

01:11:36It happens for good, Masa hi aagaya bole

01:11:43He didn't know it at all that night, I slept peacefully, Balraj took melatonin, and in the morning I had to go to the police station.

01:11:54Finally, my summons had arrived, I had to give my statement, so I went to the police station.

01:12:00The media was standing there.

01:12:02I turned back, they took a full look at me, I went upstairs, they came, all the policemen, there was time.

01:12:08No, I said, so come inside, come inside, come inside, come quickly, sit inside, so I sat inside, one

01:12:14In the small room, my investment

01:12:28Now, GTA, YCT will come, now, now, Panzer Wanzer is coming, now, leave me along, malajao dena

01:12:43Gari aata vajile ki mara, so I said what should I do, now, I am feeling very bad and also seeing the whole thing.

01:12:50I am here, what should I do, what should I do, so much

01:12:58very very big cop the biggest one of the biggest cops of Mumbai he came inside

01:13:03he said you're Samayi rana right I said yes sir can I have a seat have a seat

01:13:08the door open the door open the door open the door open the door open the door open

01:13:12Mary put a mark some right I said mark how I are sensitive skin

01:13:16I'm here I'm here I'm here I'm here Samayi rana I said yes sir

01:13:23Karen, my niece is a big fan of yours, please say hello.

01:13:35My comment will be ruined sir, for you, for you, for you, hello yes crazy crazy

01:13:45how are you I am so happy nice to talk to you such a sweet voice you have yaar

01:13:50Where are you from the first place? What are you doing?

01:13:55my friend

01:13:55I said oh nice nice it's okay, take a look at my little thing, okay

01:14:00members only wala beijunga aapko unreleased episode unreleased wala

01:14:03thank you yes thank you I gave him the phone

01:14:06Even the policeman enjoyed it, he was so sweet, said Samayi.

01:14:09Now listen to me carefully

01:14:11Aaah, I want to ask you a question, first answer it. This is the answer.

01:14:14We have to give it in the media

01:14:15Do you apologize for your mistake or not?

01:14:20I said, Sir, it was not my fault at all, friend.

01:14:23mein toh bas

01:14:24I didn't say anything at all

01:14:25And what he also said

01:14:27that was an old joke

01:14:28Sir, it was not his fault either.

01:14:29what's the matter, am I asking you again

01:14:31will you say sorry

01:14:32will you say or not

01:14:36So I thought a lot about this.

01:14:38kiunki it's a very difficult question man as a comedian do i apologize or not

01:14:45So I remember a line from George Orwell

01:14:49George Orwell was a very great writer.

01:14:51I had only one line

01:14:53every joke is a tiny revolution and the revolution must never stop

01:15:01But Assam Police also said one line.

01:15:04Me

01:15:06will put you in jail

01:15:08band's dicks

01:15:12So I did both of these

01:15:14I thought a little about the lines

01:15:16and I did

01:15:18Saying sorry makes sense here.

01:15:21in your society

01:15:22You can't bring revolution joke

01:15:24From

01:15:25George Orwell would not have been in Assam

01:15:27So he would say every revolution

01:15:30is a tiny joke

01:15:35Is it or not brother

01:15:36you only fight

01:15:38when the fight is fair

01:15:39when you have a chance of winning

01:15:41you only fight when the fight is fair

01:15:43when the fight is not fair

01:15:44you fuck off from there

01:15:46Kashmiri Pandit wisdom

01:15:53We were five percent

01:15:55Pandit Sagar in Kashmir, we would have taken up arms then.

01:15:58I swear we will fight for our motherland

01:16:01Everybody dies

01:16:03Today videos are being made on our bravery.

01:16:05But Akshay Kumar would have become a Kashmiri Pandit.

01:16:08It was the brave people of Kashmir who sacrificed their lives to make it happen.

01:16:12what would happen to him brother

01:16:13Becoming a legend in the eyes of iron

01:16:15It doesn't matter what happens

01:16:16Everyone would have died

01:16:17I am so glad all Kashmiri Pandits flooded the valley overnight

01:16:21Today we are all still alive

01:16:23still killing it, still fucking rocking it

01:16:25wherever we are

01:16:29and that's what it is about

01:16:31sometimes, it's about survival

01:16:32I said sorry twice

01:16:37Why did she call Bir Bai to everyone's show?

01:16:41I sing that Ghatti Azami Hai Saro

01:16:45Mumbai police helped so much

01:16:47I have good optics

01:16:49For two months I just sat there

01:16:51Sitting quietly in his house

01:16:52I wrote jokes, I wrote jokes, I thought about it.

01:16:54I grew 10 times in this controversy

01:16:57and then I put my first tour in Europe and Australia

01:17:00dude I sold 300,000 tickets in the whole tour

01:17:04300,000 tickets

01:17:07and expensive tickets

01:17:10you know

01:17:13the reason I even tell you this is that

01:17:17this whole experience was an insane ride in my life

01:17:21and probably the most important one

01:17:23I am so glad it happened

01:17:25this has made me wiser

01:17:27it has given me so much clarity

01:17:28What do I want in life now?

01:17:30I completely understand the game

01:17:33This is the internet

01:17:34This is the public perception

01:17:35Joe Fame

01:17:36it's just a fucking game

01:17:38that makes you not be real

01:17:39because you chase

01:17:41love people

01:17:42Validation from people

01:17:43so that people like you

01:17:44you earn money

01:17:45I have earned the money now

01:17:48Now I have to do that

01:17:50The one I always loved

01:17:52which was to be completely myself

01:17:55Whether people like it or not, Ma Chuga

01:18:03And the matter remains

01:18:05India's got latent

01:18:09People keep asking me

01:18:12will this show come back

01:18:18I thought a lot about this

01:18:21I swear to God

01:18:22I don't think

01:18:23From this high point

01:18:25My show could have ended brother

01:18:33Refrigerate in the air

01:18:35I don't think

01:18:36From this high point

01:18:38Season One of My Show

01:18:40could have ended

01:18:43Point Point

01:19:15I will bring a show to my love

01:19:22Because I enjoyed doing that show.

01:19:26Now I want to have fun while I'm in this world

01:19:29I want to do a wild shove

01:19:32Now see on the internet what exactly happened.

01:19:34Will put softy version

01:19:36I wanna do a wild wild fucking show

01:19:39I'm gonna take away all your phones

01:19:41and I'll ask the first question to the contestant

01:19:43would you rather

01:19:44Then my pen left its path.

01:19:46Jao Machav Dao Koi Nichi Ae Bhanchor

01:19:48Tera bhai se liye moth pick planch bro ya pini bacho ke fakraap don sthide do

01:19:51Thank you so much, I love you

01:19:53that was my time

01:20:24Thank you so much guys for coming.

01:20:24Do it with your mind, detach and do it

01:20:26I don't understand

01:20:27People spend the whole day chilling with friends.

01:20:30Then they say that they did not do anything protective today.

01:20:33Makes three pipiti

01:20:35I will say I will give you water protector, have you gone crazy?

01:20:39It's the opposite brother, the day you have to work, you have to work for the money

01:20:42that's a day wasted, the day you spend time with friends, family, that is the productive day

01:20:46I hope you realize that, take care, love you, bye bye, good night, see you

Samay Raina - STILL ALIVE (Full Special)

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