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00:07This election day, the fate of our borders is in your hands.
00:14John Moreno wants to invite illegal immigrants into our country.
00:19He wants to give them our jobs.
00:21He wants to give them our health care.
00:25John Moreno wants to give them the American dream.
00:28And he wants you to pay for it.
00:36John Moreno, whose side is he really on?
00:40Whose side is he really on?
00:41It's a valid question. He favors easing restrictions.
00:44So do I.
00:46Come on, Hal. Your position on work visas is irrelevant.
00:50He's talking about a path to citizenship.
00:52I'm telling you, this ad wins you the election.
00:55By insulting one of my core constituencies.
00:58Come on, in 04, I had 45% of the Latino vote.
01:01And this year, you're running against a guy named Moreno.
01:04This isn't one of your races in South Carolina or Oklahoma, Joe.
01:07This is New Jersey. People vote for me because I'm a moderate.
01:10Well, that's great.
01:10You can be the most moderate ex-senator in the country.
01:13Hal, the election is seven days away,
01:17and even our own internals show you down six points.
01:20We've always been the underdog, and we've always found a way to win.
01:24I know, because you have always let me do what's needed to be done.
01:27Now, I can have this on the air tomorrow.
01:33No, no.
01:34Come on, Hal. Let me do this.
01:36No, absolutely not.
01:37This could totally galvanize the left.
01:40You all right, Joe?
01:41Yeah, I think I got some kind of a rash.
01:43What the hell?
01:45It's not a rash.
01:46Maybe I should call the doctor.
01:49Better call an ambulance.
01:50You all right, Joe.
02:24Look at it like this.
02:26Of all the ways to rupture it,
02:28nothing honors the real Achilles
02:29more than blowing the dismount on a keg stand.
02:33What's that smell?
02:36Onions? Peppers?
02:38Oh, I know.
02:39It's a sausage fest.
02:41Sausage fest implies multiples.
02:44After you're talking about yardage, I'd have to agree.
02:46I'm talking about your department.
02:48You still haven't replaced their team.
02:50It's coming along.
02:51You've had plenty of time to find someone.
02:53I found plenty of someone. It's just haven't kept them.
02:55It's time to end the cycle.
02:57Meet your new team member.
02:59Her name is Martha M. Masters.
03:02This doctor is not a doctor.
03:04She's a third-year med student.
03:06She graduated high school when she was 15.
03:08She filled out the time before med school
03:09getting Ph.D.'s in both applied math and art history.
03:12It should be incredibly useful
03:13if my next patient has an Escher drawing.
03:16Those things are seriously screwed up.
03:17This isn't a suggestion.
03:20Just because my sausage has been filling your bun
03:22doesn't mean you get to decide
03:23what flavored chips I nosh on during the day.
03:27Nope.
03:28I get to do that because I'm your boss.
03:34Patient is Joe Dugan, 42, political consultant.
03:38Presents with palpable purpura and ALT and AST
03:41are through the roof.
03:42Otherwise known as rash and liver damage.
03:44Fascinating.
03:45Senator Anderson sent this case to us
03:47and personally requested we take a look.
03:49That's reason enough for me.
03:51Black guy campaigning for the opposition?
03:53Does Obama know about this?
03:54I tried calling him on the brother hotline.
03:56He didn't pick up.
04:05Martha M. Masters.
04:08I'm Dr. House.
04:09This is the rest of the team.
04:10Boring, bimbo, and bite-size.
04:13Martha enjoys quadratic equations,
04:15Italian frescoes,
04:16and her turn-ons include learning to be a doctor.
04:20Take a seat.
04:21She's a med student?
04:23Cuddy thinks she's some kind of genius.
04:26Say something brilliant.
04:29Oh, I don't...
04:30Capital of Azerbaijan.
04:32Baku.
04:32Year Beethoven died.
04:341827.
04:3520th decimal of Euler's number.
04:37Six.
04:39That's my favorite constant.
04:42She's like the internet with breasts.
04:44Oh, no, wait.
04:45The internet has breasts.
04:46Patient's liver damage explains the rash and cryoglobulins
04:49we found in his blood,
04:50but we can't explain the liver damage.
04:51Shows no other signs of drug or alcohol abuse.
04:53Now all you've got to do is figure out
04:55which one is bimbo and which one is bite-size.
04:57Also, which monster crook won the 2004 Thunder Nationals?
05:03Type C makes sense.
05:04This came back negative.
05:05Same for half A and B.
05:06The answer we were looking for is Virginia Giant.
05:09Feel free to chime in on either conversation.
05:13Hate to steal the spotlight from small wonder over here,
05:17but what about toxic exposure?
05:18Tetra-chloroethylene?
05:20Could even be pennyroyal or sassafras oil.
05:22Go to his house, get me some chemicals.
05:26You want to stay on this team.
05:29Have an opinion.
05:38Oh, cool.
05:40True to revival architecture.
05:42Steeply pitched asymmetrical roof over the entrance.
05:45But it doesn't have the half-timbering over the facade.
05:48Doesn't say anything about medicine.
05:50Can't shut up about architecture.
05:51Great.
05:52I know.
05:52I don't know what happened.
05:53Being around House, he's such a legend.
05:56He's so intimidating.
05:58I'm not like that around ordinary people.
06:00He, he, he.
06:02Oh, not that you guys are ordinary.
06:05It's just that he's so brilliant,
06:06and you work under him,
06:07so you're not as imposing.
06:09Um, I'm gonna be quiet.
06:12Good idea.
06:14Uh, Dugan didn't give you a key?
06:16Patients know we're coming.
06:18They can hide something relevant to their illness,
06:20intentionally or unintentionally.
06:22Their knowledge changes things.
06:36Are you a vampire?
06:38It's okay.
06:39We're inviting you in.
06:41But our patient didn't.
06:43We can't do this.
06:44I'm sorry.
06:50I'm sorry.
06:51Well, she's gonna be a big help.
06:54Yeah, what a rude being uncomfortable
06:55breaking into a stranger's house.
06:57Part of our job description,
06:58not the most morally ambiguous part.
07:00Give her a chance.
07:01She's fresh, enthusiastic,
07:03has no bad habits we need to reteach.
07:05She's a med student with no practical experience.
07:08That means every procedure, every blood draw,
07:10she needs one of us there to supervise.
07:12Is this attitude about her not having an MD after her name?
07:15Because I wonder if it has more to do
07:16with her being a brainiac.
07:17That's not it at all.
07:18I'm not thrilled someone else might be
07:20the smartest person on the team now.
07:21I can only imagine how you feel.
07:23You're not smarter than me.
07:25Oh, yeah?
07:26You find this?
07:28A jug of unpasteurized cider
07:30could be tainted with E. coli,
07:32and that's what's causing the liver to shut down.
07:34E. coli is found in animals,
07:36unless he's drinking pork cider.
07:39Pork cider?
07:40I need the number of the patent office.
07:42There are indirect ways of contracting E. coli.
07:44Masters refused to go on the search with us.
07:46Interesting.
07:47Which raises the question,
07:48what is your problem with her?
07:50He is intimidated by her intelligence.
07:53Why would that bother Taub?
07:54He's been working with people smarter than him for a long time.
07:57I think perky new girl makes you feel old.
08:00She's basically the same age as 13.
08:02Yeah, she's a student.
08:03Makes you contemplate your med school days.
08:05Back when you had hair, muscle tone,
08:07and no need for a regular prostate exam.
08:09Makes sense.
08:10Just like E. coli.
08:12Orchards make cider out of apples they can't sell otherwise,
08:14like if they've fallen onto the ground,
08:16like into some cow feces.
08:19What you mean?
08:20Our esteemed patient is literally full of BS.
08:24Cool.
08:25Go get the ingenue,
08:27start the patient on astreanam and plasmapheresis.
08:31He said to start the patient on astre...
08:36The cell sorter separates the plasma
08:39from the remaining cellular components,
08:40thereby removing...
08:41Toxins, antibodies, cryoglobulins.
08:44I think we should tell our patient
08:45about breaking into his house.
08:47Why would we do that?
08:48Because the reason not to tell him
08:50was that he might hide something.
08:52Now that rationale is moot.
08:53The rationale now is no upside, big downside.
08:57How can we ask our patients to trust us
08:59if we're not honest with them?
09:00How can we ask the patient to trust us
09:02after we tell him he can't trust us?
09:05Fine.
09:07Tell him.
09:08Clear your conscience.
09:09Because that's what's important.
09:14Well, if you would let me run that ad,
09:15everybody would be talking about immigration instead.
09:18All right, look, here's what we're gonna say.
09:20Yeah, he was in Iraq,
09:21and we're all grateful for his sacrifice.
09:23You chose to honor your country through public service
09:25and have voted 46 times
09:27to expand the Pentagon's budget for programs,
09:29which, oh, by the way, Moreno wants to cut.
09:32All right, I'll draft it up and send it over.
09:36You should probably slow down
09:37until you're out of the hospital.
09:39It's a busy week.
09:47Aren't you curious
09:48how we came up with this diagnosis?
09:50In the doctors, isn't that your job?
09:51But how we knew you were drinking apple cider.
09:54Oh, you had to found that at my house,
09:55so I guess you guys broke in there.
10:01It doesn't bother you?
10:02Medicines like politics.
10:04At the end of the day, all that matters is results.
10:06That's not true.
10:07Respect matters.
10:09Honesty and integrity matter.
10:11Have you ever thought about running for public office?
10:14Because I would love to have someone like you
10:16as an opponent.
10:20Watch the replacement fluid line.
10:21Oh, right, sorry.
10:23You ever wonder why American voter turnout rates
10:25are among the lowest in the developed world?
10:32Mr. Dugan?
10:34Mr. Dugan?
10:36What's wrong?
10:37Can you hear me?
10:41He's paralyzed.
10:42Call Foreman and Chase.
10:43Get him down here.
10:45Mr. Dugan?
10:49We think it's a transient ischemic attack.
10:51The clot must have broken up before we could find it.
10:53He was temporarily paralyzed,
10:55but he's regaining mobility in speech.
10:56So what causes rash, liver failure, clots,
11:00and the uncontrollable urge to rat out your coworkers?
11:04I want to wait.
11:05That last one was you, not the patient.
11:07I wasn't trying to rat.
11:09I was clearly trying to honor my ethical obligation.
11:12Portal vein thrombosis could be caused by Wilson's disease?
11:16Hooray!
11:20You popped your cherry.
11:22Diagnostically speaking.
11:24Unfortunately, the first time always sucks.
11:26Pitch doesn't make any sense.
11:28Dugan's cornea was normal.
11:29You're obviously brilliant.
11:31Why would you hide your mind?
11:33I was brainstorming.
11:34I'm not talking about your stupid ideas about the patient.
11:36I mean your stupid ideas about morality.
11:38My stupid ideas are what most doctors consider
11:40the rules for professional contact.
11:44What about a neuroendocrine tumor?
11:46Not without diminished mental capacity, loss of judgment.
11:50Disseminated intravascular coagulation, however, fits.
11:53Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people
11:56who can't make up their own mind.
11:57You obviously don't fit into that category,
11:58so why put yourself there?
12:00Masters is right about a neuroendocrine tumor.
12:04Because, yes, Dugan has had a loss of judgment.
12:07He made this totally inflammatory anti-immigration campaign commercial for Anderson.
12:11It just got leaked online.
12:12You're arguing Dugan's politics are a sign that he's mentally compromised?
12:15No, his tactics.
12:17He's most likely the one who leaked it,
12:18and all the commentators are saying Anderson will catch a major backlash.
12:21An honesty is a great idea,
12:23until your patient asks if her distended abdomen makes her look fat.
12:26House, I hate to interrupt your ethics debate,
12:28but we have two solid ideas on the table.
12:33CT from his neck to his abdomen for neuroendocrine tumors.
12:36Run a D-dimer and fibrinogen for DIC.
12:44Masters,
12:46if lying to a patient saved their life, would you do it?
12:51No.
12:52That's a lie.
12:53Your grandma gave you a really crappy tea cozy for Christmas.
12:57Would you tell her you liked it?
12:59Yes, but that's different.
13:00So you lie when it doesn't matter what you want when it does.
13:03Why don't you get so screwed up?
13:10How mad would you be if I fired Masters?
13:13Very.
13:15Unless you had cause.
13:17Real cause.
13:18Cause that a human being would consider cause.
13:21Never mind, then.
13:22She's got principles.
13:24She's like the love child of Einstein and Mary Poppins.
13:28Didn't even get Einstein's hair.
13:30It's worth having someone on the team
13:32who doesn't see the world entirely as shades of gray.
13:34It is gray.
13:35To you, she has a fresh perspective.
13:39Unless that threatens you.
13:41It does not...
13:44She thought I'd get defensive.
13:46Keep her out of pride.
13:48Girl can hope.
13:50House.
13:52I gave this a lot of thought.
13:54She deserves a chance.
13:56A real chance.
14:05House is gonna fire me.
14:07No, he isn't.
14:08Because you told him not to?
14:11Butting heads with House is par for the course.
14:13House has strong beliefs, and he respects other people with strong beliefs.
14:17It's not my beliefs.
14:19There's a problem.
14:20It's my personality.
14:21I'm not good at working with other people.
14:24You've been in there for less than a day.
14:26I wasn't looking for encouragement.
14:28It's a fact.
14:30Growing up, my whole life, really, I spent a lot of time by myself.
14:35No one in high school wants to hang out with a kid that's three years younger than them.
14:38And studying anisobdipheomorphisms, determining whether an unattributed landscape is a Blakelock or a writer or...
14:48I'm actually boring you right now.
14:50And yet you chose medicine, which is a team activity.
14:55It's pretty gutsy, stepping so far outside your comfort zone.
14:59I'm not trying to prove anything.
15:02I just wanted to be a doctor.
15:04It was stupid.
15:07Nobody can do everything.
15:10I was vain to think I could be the exception.
15:15House doesn't care if you're a team player, or how ethical you are, or how high your IQ is.
15:22It's all about the cases.
15:24You help him crack this one.
15:26You two are going to get along just fine.
15:31I've got to get a master, some pointers, help her figure out how to deal with House.
15:35Why would I do that?
15:37The entertainment factor is off the charts.
15:40It's like watching a bunny hop into a buzzsaw repeatedly.
15:44And if we don't help her, she's out of here.
15:46No, something else is stopping House from firing her.
15:49I'm guessing it's his desire to keep having sex with Cuddy.
15:52You guys ready to admit you were wrong yet?
15:56Excuse me?
15:58This tumor you're looking for, you're not going to find it.
16:01My judgment is completely sound.
16:05So when you leaked that ad, you were trying to torpedo the Senators' campaign?
16:10I, one, I told you before, I didn't leak that spot.
16:14Uh-huh.
16:15And two, whoever did leak that ad had nothing wrong with their mind either is going to save Anderson.
16:21That commercial, everyone sees through it.
16:24You're just trying to play to people's fears.
16:26You say fears.
16:27I say rational, protective instincts.
16:31Judging by your accent, immigration probably isn't an issue you can be real impartial about.
16:37I waited five years to get my green card.
16:39If there's anyone who would resent someone trying to skip the queue, it'd be me.
16:43Just because Moreno favors Amnesty.
16:45He doesn't.
16:46You know, the picture of him with the Mexican flag seems to be from a pro-Amnesty rally.
16:51That's from an Amnesty International speech protesting the imprisonment of priests in Oaxaca.
16:58Yes, you did just prove that that ad is even more disgusting than you thought.
17:02You also proved that ad is effective.
17:06You still think my judgment is off?
17:10Not anymore.
17:11There's no sign of a tumor.
17:13That leaves DIC.
17:14I'll go check how Ty was doing with the blood work.
17:23I guess when you get on in years, it takes a little longer to run a few simple blood tests.
17:27This whole Taub's an old man thing kind of rings hollow.
17:30Considering I'm in better shape than you are, pass the dime.
17:33You're in rounder shape for me.
17:36Tonight after work, meet at the basketball courts in the gym.
17:38You do realize you're two and a half feet tall, right?
17:41And white and Jewish.
17:43It'd be very embarrassing.
17:44I get why you'd want to say no.
17:47Tonight after work?
17:49Crap.
17:54Did you hear Moreno's latest stump speech?
17:56He's going to clean up Washington.
17:58Yeah, right.
17:59Like any politician from New Jersey has ever cleaned up, who else knows that you leaked that ad?
18:04You and I have the only two copies, Hal.
18:07I don't care that you did it.
18:09I just want to make sure it worked.
18:11This morning's tracking has been within two points.
18:15Told you.
18:17We're going to pull this thing out.
18:20Your blood test for DIC came back completely normal.
18:22That's good news, right?
18:23It means the two things we thought it could be, it's not.
18:26We checked your home for toxins and didn't find any.
18:28But it's possible you might have been exposed on the campaign.
18:31Have you visited any industrial or agricultural facilities?
18:34Uh, there was a tomato farm in Lumberton.
18:36They take you into the fields?
18:37No one wants a photo op with me.
18:38I never leave the bus.
18:39Were the windows open?
18:40Certain pesticides.
18:41Forman.
18:46What?
18:47What is it?
18:47It's not just your liver we have to worry about.
18:50Looks like your kidneys are having problems, too.
18:57So this guy spends his entire life campaigning against bleeding hearts.
19:02It turns out he has one.
19:04Bloody urine actually is a renal problem, not a cardiac one?
19:07Yeah.
19:08If I say something inaccurate, assume it's for comic effect.
19:10Then laugh.
19:11This is funny.
19:13TTP makes sense.
19:14Where are his platelets?
19:16200,000.
19:16It's not TTP.
19:17What about he knocks Schoenlein purpura?
19:19HSP doesn't cause clots.
19:20HSP doesn't usually cause clots, but he can.
19:23And the vasculitis would explain the kidney problem.
19:25Well, she can't diagnose a joke, but she's making progress on the patient.
19:30We treat with chemotherapy or steroids?
19:33We treat with chemotherapy.
19:35I said chemo.
19:36Then you said or.
19:37Once again, the bunny meets the blade.
19:39The road to dead patients is paved with ors.
19:43Chemo is the more effective treatment, which means it'll confirm our diagnosis more quickly.
19:47I agree, but there is another option.
19:49There are lots of other options.
19:50There's bloodletting, crystals, prayer.
19:52Another medically accepted option.
19:54Which is both less effective and less scary.
19:56So the patient might just choose it.
19:58Unless, of course, we don't mention it to him.
20:01We can't withhold information.
20:03If we explain both the benefits and the risks of each treatment, I'm sure Dugan will choose chemo.
20:08Well, as long as you're sure.
20:12The better option is chemotherapy.
20:14It's faster and more likely to completely cure you.
20:17I'll take the steroids.
20:18Oh, my goodness.
20:20If only someone could have predicted that she'd make that incredibly stupid decision.
20:27The nausea and fatigue from chemo will only last a few weeks.
20:30Our full number's have stalled.
20:31That's five days till the election.
20:33Doctor, can you talk some sense into him?
20:35Would that I could.
20:36That ethics dictate that it's his decision.
20:39So all I can do now is return to my office, knowing that even as my patient endangers himself,
20:43my integrity remains unblemished.
20:49Please, take some time to think about this.
20:51I don't need any time.
20:52I want to start on the steroids.
21:01Game to 11 by ones.
21:03Hold on.
21:10Want to shoot for hours?
21:11You can have it.
21:17One, nothing.
21:20You gonna guard it?
21:21Can't hit two in a row.
21:26Two, nothing.
21:27You're gonna guard me now.
21:28And I'm that shot all day.
21:35Three, nothing.
21:45One, three.
21:46One, three.
21:47One, three.
21:57One, three.
22:07I got to run.
22:08The time I walk the seat.
22:09The time I walk the seat.
22:10I want to run.
22:12I got to run.
22:15I got to run.
22:2010-7.
22:36Seriously? You gonna beat me with that?
22:43Well, I was wrong.
22:45You're not so old.
22:48Now all we have to do is figure out why medicine is making you feel insecure.
22:59I was just down by Dugan's room. They were gonna give him the wrong medicine.
23:03I tried to change the order, but I'm not a doctor.
23:06Good. The wrong medicine is the right medicine.
23:09But he wanted steroids, not chemo.
23:12He wants to live.
23:14I'm gonna tell him what's going on.
23:16No, you're not.
23:18I don't mind your morality in theory.
23:21But in practice, you're risking my patient's life.
23:23So you're fired.
23:25You think that's gonna stop me from telling him?
23:27If you do, I'll get you thrown out of medical school.
23:31I haven't done anything that would merit that.
23:33I know. But unlike you, I'm willing to lie.
23:39Firing her was a mistake.
23:40We need someone like her on the team keeping us all in check.
23:44You're incapable of noticing when I do something inappropriate.
23:46We're like the frogs who've been in the pot for a while.
23:49We're used to the heat.
23:49Things have been just fine without Pippi Long Division.
23:52Your opponent's out of the race. You can drop the smear campaign.
23:55You didn't develop pulmonary edema. It's not HSP.
23:59Masters was right. He didn't want the chemo. He didn't need the chemo.
24:02Masters was wrong. He doesn't have HSP.
24:05And Masters is gone.
24:07Could be an infection.
24:08We had him on S3NM for the E. coli. He didn't respond.
24:11Schistosomiasis wouldn't respond to S3NM.
24:13That's a great idea.
24:14If he was running a political campaign in Africa,
24:16the guy hasn't been out of the country in years.
24:18Who needs to travel when you've got a giant fish tank
24:21loaded with tropical fish, tropical snails,
24:23carrying tropical bacteria like Schistosomiasis?
24:27Break into his home and get me some escargot.
24:30Unless you want to ask the patient's permission.
24:32It's a tribute to the departed.
24:40Need a minute.
24:43You said you were going to give her a chance.
24:46I did. She used that opportunity to endanger our patient's life.
24:50By insisting he received the treatment that he asked for.
24:52That's what I just said.
24:54Your team is there to challenge you.
24:56I didn't fire her because she's a challenge.
24:57I fired her because she's an immutable obstacle.
25:00You're going to make me hire her? How do you think that'll work out?
25:02How do you think that'll work out?
25:03He's right. I'll just...
25:04You will not quit this job.
25:07What is going on?
25:09I want her gone. She wants to be gone. Why do you care?
25:12You don't actually think that she's a younger version of you.
25:16Let me tell you. You're not that smart. Or moral.
25:19Socially awkward, maybe.
25:20She's a potential star. And I want her in my hospital.
25:23No problem. Just find her at a different department.
25:28I think I figured it out.
25:31Why Talb didn't like masters.
25:34Now you're getting involved in this, too?
25:35My previous source of entertainment just got fired.
25:37Exactly. She's gone. It's over.
25:40She's totally moral and uptight.
25:41Which made Talb feel badly about his cheating.
25:44Can we get a move on?
25:47You didn't like her even before you knew about her morals.
25:49From the minute you saw her.
25:53So, it's something about how she looked.
25:55All right. No snails. Let's get out of here.
26:02Hello?
26:09Yeah?
26:10It's Foreman.
26:11What'd you find?
26:12Nothing helpful, but...
26:13It's gotta be something.
26:14It's gone completely downhill.
26:16Now fluids collecting his chest.
26:18Where the hell are you guys?
26:20In jail.
26:23You gonna come bail us out?
26:25Uh... kind of busy.
26:29Yeah.
26:32Thank you all for coming down here at this late hour.
26:35I assure you I will be brief.
26:37There has been a lot of discussion about an attack ad
26:39that leaked online earlier this week.
26:47There you are.
26:49I was starting to think that my holier-than-thou dar
26:51was malfunctioning.
26:53Our patient's liver, kidneys, and lungs are failing.
26:56I need you to help me figure out why.
26:59As I recall, you have three actual doctors
27:01you haven't fired today.
27:03They're in jail.
27:04What? Why?
27:06Prostitution.
27:07So you're rehired.
27:15It all started in the liver, but where in the liver?
27:18If in the ducts, then primary biliary cirrhosis.
27:20Yeah, I don't need to hear your ideas.
27:22Just return the volley.
27:23Primary sclerosine cholangitis.
27:25Nope.
27:26His vitamin A level is normal.
27:29Gallbladder problems can affect the liver.
27:31Cholecystitis?
27:32Shh.
27:34He's talking about our patient.
27:35Did you just shush me?
27:37Shh.
27:38And thought he was a friend.
27:40That is, until you leak this hurtful, hateful ad.
27:45I think he's lying.
27:47Duken said...
27:48The technical term is speaking.
27:50Duken violated my trust.
27:52And therefore, I have no other recourse
27:56than to fire him from my campaign.
28:00And there will be no further questions.
28:06Thanks for your help.
28:10Oh, and you're fired again.
28:19He screwed you.
28:21That was a hell of a move.
28:22Use the ad to shore up the base,
28:24fire the extremists to hold the center.
28:26No, I mean he actually screwed you.
28:29Taking weekend trips down to Bunbury.
28:32He's got a red blotch on his hand.
28:34That's polymer erythema.
28:35Not in the fact that he's got a permanent sheen
28:37of Nixonian flop sweat.
28:40He's got hepatitis C,
28:41which explains all your symptoms.
28:43That's great, but the senator and I
28:45have not had sex.
28:46The two of you shot up together.
28:48How many high-functioning heroin users
28:50do you know?
28:52Actually, quite a few.
28:54Look, I know you've got Hep C.
28:56So either you shared a bed together,
28:59you shared a needle,
29:02or you shared a straw.
29:06I'm talking about coke.
29:09Not coke.
29:10You can get Hep C from doing cocaine.
29:12Look, I will deny it.
29:14Don't care.
29:15They tested me for Hep C when I came in here.
29:17I don't have it.
29:18Well, apparently, your liver
29:19picked up a few of your campaign tactics.
29:21It's hiding all your secrets by producing cryoglobulins,
29:24so the Hep C tests come back negative.
29:27Now, I could look for all the associated toxins,
29:29but plasmapheresis got rid of those,
29:31so basically you've got a disease,
29:33but there's no way to prove it.
29:34It's pretty cool, huh?
29:36What is that?
29:38There's this interferon.
29:40It delays the onset of rigor mortis.
29:51When did your lawyer say he was coming to get us?
29:53He said, and I'm quoting here,
29:56soon.
29:58I know.
29:59The reason you hated Masters from the moment you saw her.
30:02Come on.
30:03That was not the first time you saw her.
30:05That is brilliant.
30:11It's really not.
30:13Is that guy seriously using the toilet?
30:16Oh, my God, he's sitting down.
30:17Don't try to change the subject.
30:19Did you sleep with her?
30:20No wonder he's in jail.
30:21Anyone who would do that has no shame.
30:23Well, maybe you tried to sleep with her,
30:24and she shot him down.
30:26I don't know her.
30:28Is he grunting?
30:30I think I hear grunting.
30:31You realize we're not gonna drop this.
30:36I didn't sleep with her.
30:37I interviewed her for Hopkins med school.
30:40So, you're holding grudge
30:42because she chose a different school?
30:44We talked for an hour.
30:46She didn't remember me.
30:48Yep.
30:48She remembers the 20th digit
30:50of some math constant,
30:52but she doesn't remember a guy
30:54she had a one-on-one meeting with.
30:57Well, I barely remember you.
30:59Mystery solved.
31:00Now we can all go back to our lives.
31:14Great news.
31:17I've decided to rehire you.
31:19Find another sounding board.
31:20Newman's got Hep C.
31:22I'm not doing this.
31:22He's not responding to interferon.
31:24You must think I have absolutely no self-esteem.
31:29Ethics and self-esteem?
31:30You really are a pain in the ass.
31:33What treats Hep C besides interferon?
31:35Now you want me to talk?
31:37Yeah.
31:40Stop pretending you're not gonna do this.
31:42As much as you hate me,
31:44you hate failing more.
31:45I didn't fail.
31:46You fired me.
31:47Repeatedly.
31:48But if you walk away now,
31:49after I just rehired you,
31:50that's quitting.
31:55A German research study showed
31:57that 15% of patients with Hep C
31:59were cured after contracting Hep A.
32:00Of course, other studies have shown
32:01that up to 85% of doubly infected patients
32:04die very quickly.
32:05So, in theory,
32:06if we can find something that mimics Hep A...
32:08There's one thing that mimics Hep A.
32:10Hep A.
32:12Good work.
32:13You're fired.
32:15No!
32:19Hep A could cure him.
32:21Better chance it'll kill him.
32:22Tell the lab to release a Hep A culture to me.
32:24We'll see who's right.
32:25It's not an approved treatment
32:26and exposes us to liability.
32:28There's no way I can let you do this.
32:29That's an extremely cowardly position.
32:33Listen to the genius.
32:35You're the one that insisted he run this by me.
32:37It's proper protocol for an unconventional treatment,
32:39but we shouldn't compromise patient care
32:41just to avoid lawsuits.
32:43What about the fact that we don't have any proof
32:45he actually has Hep C?
32:47That is a perfectly valid objection.
32:49Don't listen to her.
32:50She doesn't even work for me.
32:51If you really think that this is the only way to cure him,
32:54I will risk the lawsuit,
32:55but I need to know that he actually has the disease.
32:59Get me proof.
33:00I've given you proof.
33:02Get me proof he has Hep C,
33:04and then you can give him Hep A.
33:06I can't.
33:07You'll figure something out.
33:09The two of you have a combined IQ north of 300.
33:13It's also true of five morons.
33:17Go. Work.
33:20So what do we do now?
33:22Considering the fact that I'm about to do something unethical.
33:25Oh, right, yeah. I'm fired.
33:29Miss you.
33:31We need a false positive Hep C test.
33:34And why would we want to do that?
33:35The world changes when you're on the inside.
33:38You just gotta roll with it once you get out.
33:40You think he contracted Hep C from the Senator?
33:42All right. Test Anderson.
33:44If he's positive, that's evidence Duggan has it too.
33:46Evidence, not proof.
33:47Are we presenting this to a jury of our peers?
33:49That should be enough for Cuddy.
33:50It should be, but it won't be.
33:52The test for Hep C is 99.9% accurate.
33:55That means one in every thousand tests is a false positive.
33:58If we do enough, maybe we get lucky.
34:01I smell like jail.
34:04False, false positive.
34:06That's the best we can do?
34:10Okay, go do it.
34:39I have a problem.
34:42A medical problem, which could become...
34:48I have lied to Cuddy 10,000 times.
34:52How do you think she'd feel about 10,001?
34:54I think you probably already know the answer.
34:58That doesn't make any sense.
35:00You don't understand why a woman might be upset
35:03because her boyfriend lied to her?
35:04I wouldn't be lying as her boyfriend.
35:06I'd be lying as her employee.
35:07That's not how relationships work.
35:10My patient is gonna die.
35:16Does a lie guarantee he'll live?
35:19No.
35:20You got two choices.
35:21Either be honest and face the medical consequences,
35:23or lie and face the personal consequences.
35:25He wants to take the dying.
35:30He wants to take the dying decisions.
35:32I think it ought to be כ知
35:39to herself.activate
35:52You wait
35:52common booster. You!
35:54That's
35:55all! If you're
36:00Now that you're my doctor, you, uh, you can't tell anybody, right?
36:04Who'd leak a story about a sitting senator who got hep C from doing cocaine?
36:13He didn't fill out any paperwork.
36:15I'm gonna run this test and run his soon name.
36:20Trust me.
36:21No one will ever know you were here.
36:31Blood test confirming hep C.
36:33You got sicker, his fire load came up, finally showed up on the test.
36:42There was a time when you would have completely ignored my request.
36:46It means a lot that you respect me enough to do this.
36:49I've come a long way, baby.
36:52Now if you would only hire a new team member.
36:56I'm on it.
37:06How'd you like to come work for me?
37:09It's like I'm on a Mobius strip.
37:11We've had this conversation.
37:13You want this job.
37:16Prove yourself to me.
37:18No more games.
37:19At least the current game ends.
37:21Others may start.
37:22You have my deeply flawed word.
37:26What do I have to do?
37:29Get Dugan to let us give him hep A.
37:32And while you're figuring out the best way to coax a patient into a treatment that has an 85%
37:36mortality rate, here's some advice.
37:39Don't.
37:40I'm not gonna lie to him.
37:41You have a math degree.
37:43So let's see if you can follow along here.
37:45You lie to him.
37:46He definitely consents.
37:47He might live.
37:49You tell him the truth like last time.
37:50He might not consent.
37:52He definitely dies.
37:55Remind me what's so wrong about lying.
38:00We're going to inject you with hepatitis A.
38:06That doesn't sound like medicine.
38:08I know it seems counterintuitive, but in some people, the virus can enhance immune function and clear out the hepatitis
38:14C.
38:15So, how many are we talking about?
38:23A fair amount.
38:24Give me a percentage.
38:25What are the odds of this thing working?
38:30There's an 85% chance that this will kill you.
38:37So you want to give me something that works 15% better than arsenic?
38:42Well, technically, it works infinitely better because arsenic has a 0% chance.
38:52This is your only shot.
38:54Both Dr. House and I believe that.
38:56He faked a blood test in order to get you approved for this treatment.
38:59And then he tried to bribe me into lying to you about the risks.
39:02If either of those incidents came to light, he would be suspended and probably lose his license.
39:08I'm sure some other people would suffer.
39:12He's risking his career to give you this chance.
39:15He wouldn't do that if there was any other choice.
39:24I did it, and I didn't have to lie.
39:27You feel good about that.
39:28Yes.
39:29So I'm hiring an idiot.
39:31You could pretend you wanted me to lie, but you didn't.
39:33You want the people on your team to challenge you, otherwise you'd just be a bully instead of a great
39:37doctor.
39:37You hired me because I don't compromise my principles.
39:40Or I want a front row seat when you wake up and realize how useless your principles are.
39:46I don't want you to just lie to a patient.
39:48I want you to want to lie to a patient.
39:50It's not going to happen.
39:53See you tomorrow.
40:19I heard Dugan is already responding to treatment.
40:22Yeah, his alt level is already beginning to normalize.
40:26I wanted to apologize for the way I've...
40:29Wait, you interviewed me, right?
40:34For Hopkins?
40:35Oh my God, you're right.
40:40Wow, that memory of yours.
40:43I wanted to say something the first day.
40:45I felt really awkward about the whole thing.
40:48Don't worry about it.
40:52Is this grandma's tea cozy?
40:54What?
40:57Nothing.
40:58I'll see you upstairs.
41:03If I knew hiring her meant dealing with medical school paperwork, I'm going to reconsider it.
41:09You really got nothing better to do than watch me sign this?
41:11I missed the ultimate admission that I was right about masters all along.
41:14She had me when she called you a coward.
41:17You heading out?
41:18I have to work late.
41:21Gloating requires a lot of paperwork.
41:32Thank you, New Jersey, for re-electing me to the United States Senate.
41:40We ran a positive campaign, a campaign about the dire issues facing this great nation.
41:48There are many people who gave their all for this campaign, but there is one person that
41:54stands out among them.
41:58My beautiful wife, Loretta.
41:59Loretta.
42:10Do you know where the senator's records are?
42:12House was treating Anderson's campaign manager, not the senator himself.
42:16Oh.
42:17Why did you think he was a patient?
42:19House saw him in the clinic.
42:20I guess it wasn't medical.
42:21When?
42:23Friday.
42:24Around three.
42:27House's team ran a hep C test on Joe Dugan on Friday.
42:29Can you look up the time?
42:33Chase, Taub, and Foreman were running tests all night.
42:37All negative.
42:40Positive test at 3.17 p.m.
42:44House ran it himself.
42:47Is everything okay?
42:50I don't think so.
42:51I don't think so.
42:52I don't think so.
42:53I don't think so.
42:59I don't think so.
43:00I don't think so.
43:01I don't think so.
43:02I don't think so.
43:03I don't think so.
43:04I don't think so.
43:05I don't think so.
43:06I don't think so.
43:06I don't think so.
43:06I don't think so.
43:07I don't think so.
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