- 2 days ago
Babies S01E06 [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Stop!
00:02I can't believe she's done it, wait, let's watch it again, wait, wait.
00:08What?
00:09Oh, that's so funny.
00:11Did you see the one on the group chat?
00:13The other day.
00:13Oh, stop.
00:15This one, this one, oh my gosh.
00:19This is so funny.
00:21Oh my god, every time she posts it just gets worse.
00:23Actually, it's so funny though.
00:25I'm gonna send it to Sally from Jiu Jitsu.
00:27What?
00:27Sally from Jiu Jitsu?
00:29Yes!
00:30Oh my god, I love her.
00:31She's so good, she's so good.
00:32Really?
00:33No, she was saying about how she missed you so much.
00:35So hard, I love her.
00:36Hi, I'm here for my 12-week scan, 9-15.
00:40Lisa?
00:41That's all right, yeah.
00:42Date of birth?
00:434th March 1990.
00:45And the first line of your address?
00:47At 96 Lawson Court.
00:49Did you want to purchase any photos?
00:54Oh, you can just ask them once you're in there.
00:57Yeah.
01:00Yeah.
01:12I'm sorry.
01:15I'm sorry.
01:18I'm sorry.
01:19I'm sorry.
01:20I'm sorry.
01:43I'm sorry.
01:46I'm sorry.
01:49I'm sorry.
01:52I'm sorry.
01:52No problem.
01:53Do you want to get on the bed?
01:55Thanks.
01:57Her back's been a little bit.
01:58Oh, it's fine.
02:00Shh.
02:00Yep.
02:02Shh.
02:02Can you tell us as soon as you like?
02:08I'll have a look, and then as soon as I can, I will let you know how things are looking.
02:13Mm-hmm.
02:15Shh.
02:16Shh.
02:17Okay.
02:25Right.
02:27Put that in.
02:31Would you like to watch the scan?
02:33Yes, please.
02:34Yeah?
02:34Yeah.
02:35Thanks.
02:37This will be a bit cold.
02:42How's this pregnancy been?
02:44I've had a bit of cramping, haven't I?
02:46But I'm still feeling quite sick, so.
02:49Well, there's all kinds of things going on down there, so you've bound to have a bit
02:51of cramping.
02:52Let's have a look, shall we?
02:54The monitor's just there, so you can see what I'm looking at.
02:56I'll need to take some measurements, and it can take me a while to find baby, but I
02:59will let you know what I find as soon as I can, okay?
03:03Okay.
03:03Sorry.
03:10Okay.
03:24How's it look?
03:26One moment, please.
03:38We'd like to know if everything's okay.
03:41...
03:46...
03:55...
03:56...
03:58...
04:04My dreams are up in arms because they say they can't compete with you
04:11You've stopped the day with a little syllable
04:17Left unfinished
04:23When you knew you'd kiss me
04:31Now each one bursts like a volcano
04:35Cause it's nowhere else for this love to go
04:40I grabbed a key one in a microphone
04:48Cause it's nowhere else for this love to go
04:53Oh bloody hell
05:01Is it okay?
05:04Oh it's more than okay
05:05I'm sorry
05:14I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
05:45Morning love.
05:46Sleep well?
05:48Yes, I slept well.
05:50Mum, did you sleep well?
05:52Why are you so obsessed with how I slept?
05:57Shall I bring your bags down?
06:00I can bring my own bags down, thanks Dad.
06:03I'm driving myself to university.
06:05I think I can bring my bags down.
06:22If you can bring the bags down to the塊,
06:26you just didn't want to do it,
06:27but it wasn't cool.
06:29They can bring me back.
06:29That's a hottest amount of money!
06:36And he's all enjoying the tags.
06:38He tells me that
06:40it's important to make the red eye out,
06:40it's very boring when he does this.
06:43He gives the red eye out,
06:49I'm sorry, he's your father, there's nothing I can do.
07:01Right, I've got everything you need, I've got Kit Kats, I've got doughnuts, I've got
07:04orange Fanta, I've got lemon Fanta, I've made cakes.
07:10Nothing for the cakes, well, okay.
07:43I don't know what this is, I've got to see the cakes.
08:34Let me know if you've planted some cake.
08:43Yeah, not too great to be honest, not too great to be honest, I just love it, I'm actually
08:51feeling really terrible, no it's seriously, it's awful, just a glass of ice please, a pint.
09:17Have I told you about when I gave birth?
09:20You have, yeah.
09:22Yeah, and the doctors were actually amazed by my placenta.
09:27Yeah.
09:29Yeah.
09:31Yeah.
09:37Oh.
09:39Oh.
09:41Oh.
09:49Oh.
09:53Oh.
09:59Oh.
10:11ham sandwiches yeah i'm just trying to think some meals are not to make good one so what's that ham
10:20butter bread yep crisps yeah
10:30okay dinners i was literally just around the corner we've been here 15 minutes you're hilarious
10:40just text me well okay so you actually want me to get here later because you want me to stop
10:45rushing
10:45and text you i mean do you want me to be here on time or not i'm getting very mixed
10:50messages
11:04we're actually um we're going to go out
11:17so many potholes in the road
11:23the little holes in the road we call them potholes council are supposed to fill them in
11:33but do we really want the council to divert resources away from the hospitals and the
11:38educational services to fill a load of holes in the road
11:45it's tricky
11:58careful please
12:01just be careful yeah
12:10okay let's come down now daniel that's enough
12:13no it's enough
12:23do you ever bite the bottom
12:28really
12:32you've never done it
12:36you bite the bottom
12:40and then you suck it
12:42you know like
12:44you know straws yeah
12:47it's like straw
12:52you suck it
13:01let me see
13:06come in be patient
13:19you're good at that
13:33did you see my email
13:36uh yep sorry
13:39you can turn it into a pdf yeah and send it on
13:42of course yeah if you can just reply when i email you
13:50absolutely
13:51yep
14:12do you want to speak to me come in here
14:22you can hear all that
14:24have you seen the size of my piles
14:29i don't hear about i don't hear about your piles
14:33i don't hear about i don't hear about your piles
14:39i think it's just like a cloth
14:42no tea towel
14:47yeah
14:48so it's a tea towel
14:50no it's made with like special salt
14:53it's a tea towel
14:55they call that muslin and charge you three times as much
14:57it's not a tea towel
14:59what would you use it for
15:00just
15:04just like
15:06wiping like
15:07sick and stuff
15:10jesus
15:14baby's gonna be sick on you
15:18jesus
15:20sick and dribble
15:24we'll be mopping like piss
15:26and shit
15:27mopping
15:28yes
15:30yes
15:50fingers
15:51oh my god the fingers yeah
15:58it's so busy
16:00i think we're in trouble here
16:03okay so two hands five fingers on each hand two feet ten toes
16:10oh my god the toes
16:14i think we're moving a lot
16:16that's good you know
16:18it's all what we'd hope to see
16:20yeah
16:22and if you look here
16:26that thing there
16:27that's his willy
16:32huh
16:34huh
16:48little boy
17:00What's happened to me?
17:46What's happened to me?
18:14What's happened to me?
18:21I'm not going to be like, I'm not going to be like, you have to be this, you have to
18:31be that.
18:34I'm going to have to know the best good stuff.
18:38I think sometimes Dad's complete, not my dad, but maybe Dave's dad, a little bit.
18:47I get in the way you've been, who you are.
18:53What a privilege.
19:06A little boy here.
19:13It's the greatest privilege.
19:25So, you just whisk up the eggs, brown milk, a touch of salt, then you have to get the oil
19:32hot.
19:33How hot?
19:34Oh, like hot.
19:36I'll kill it for you.
19:39How do you know it's hot enough?
19:42It spits.
19:45Yeah, not a lot of people do that, but it's something I figured out quite early on.
19:52Did you make up this recipe yourself?
19:56Kind of.
20:00Well, I do feel bad for you guys having to live with Simon.
20:04Poor Mum.
20:05I mean, what has she got herself into?
20:08I bet they row quite a lot, don't they?
20:10He was crying the other night.
20:12Oh, Simon was?
20:13Was he?
20:15He was crying.
20:17Oh, God, I love that, Simon.
20:18Crying.
20:21I cry sometimes.
20:24No, you don't.
20:26No, we had a great time.
20:28Okay.
20:30I had pancakes.
20:31Really?
20:32Wow.
20:35Yeah, it's kind of awkward, but he asked if I could stay for lunch.
20:43But I don't want to...
20:45No.
20:45If Simon's...
20:46Simon's at his mum's.
20:49Don't worry, I'll...
20:49No.
20:50No.
20:51Night lights in the front pocket.
20:53No, it's fine.
20:54Say, it's nice that he asked you.
20:58Yeah.
21:05Heritage?
21:11Bloody hell.
21:14That's us, I am.
21:15Yeah.
21:16Yeah.
21:18I wonder you don't stop moaning.
21:21Fuck you.
21:24Oh, my God, I'm like...
21:29You're so sexy.
21:47Hey, are you here for the NCC?
21:50Yeah.
21:50Yeah.
22:01I've got a very good birth plan.
22:03It is a good one, actually.
22:04I plan to be hiding in a pub. That's my birth plan.
22:06You probably will as well.
22:10We've been doing hypnobirthing, haven't we?
22:12Yeah.
22:13I want to go for a lotus birth, because I really think you should.
22:18Whereas I'm really...
22:23I can see.
22:31I'm really interested in vaginal seeding.
22:40I've made a playlist.
22:43You're going to give birth on all fours, aren't you?
22:45Like an animal.
22:47Then it's sweets, chocolate...
22:49Caffeine for you.
22:52Yeah, I'll need my caffeine.
23:00Erm...
23:03Yeah, er...
23:04No, we haven't really considered it yet, have we?
23:07It's been...
23:10Quite hard to think of it as...
23:13Er...
23:16Real.
23:21Maternity unit?
23:24Midwife...
23:26Midwifery unit?
23:28What's the difference?
23:31God knows.
23:35I want there to be doctors.
23:38You always put doctors.
23:39Yeah.
23:40Capital letters.
23:41Yeah.
23:42Doctors.
23:44Tons of doctors.
23:46All the painkillers.
23:47Just put...
23:48Give me a lot.
23:51Who do I want to be with me during the labour?
23:54What, Dad?
23:57Good idea, yeah.
23:59Yeah.
23:59Mm-mm, I think your mum will come.
24:01Okay, that's good.
24:02I'd love that.
24:03Yeah.
24:04She could stand there being fucking anane.
24:06Wow.
24:07It would be perfect.
24:18Do you want to be there if it's forceps or vacuum?
24:24Oh, looks like him.
24:28The baby's guided out using a cap fitted to its head by suction.
24:32Shut up.
24:38Oh, my God, they're so gross.
24:41I don't know.
24:44Yeah, okay, whatever.
24:46Clear.
24:46Get.
24:57Do we want to use a special LD or pee room?
25:06Is there an option for you to pack those?
25:08Yeah, there actually is.
25:12We need to look this up.
25:17I think you really need it for me to spend the birth reminding you to be positive.
25:26It's weird how that's not an option.
25:28Yeah, I'd love that, actually.
25:30It's just useful to be reminded.
25:39I'm starting to worry this is actually going to happen.
25:41What?
25:56What?
25:58What?
25:58What is an...
26:00...Peseotomy?
26:06Do you know what I know?
26:14Do you know what I know?
26:15Hi.
26:15Come in, come in, come in.
26:17Excellent.
26:17Thanks.
26:18Daniel, your dad's here.
26:20Sorry, I'm just on a Zoom.
26:21Japanese dad's here, didn't I?
26:22It's just the weekend.
26:24I can't find the bag!
26:25They're coming!
26:27Could you drop him off a bit later tomorrow?
26:29Like 5.36?
26:30We've got a scat.
26:32Absolutely.
26:33She's been a bit anxious since the 12 weeks.
26:37Have you packed your bazooka?
26:39No!
26:41Have you packed your whisky?
26:42No!
26:42Your gin?
26:43Your wine?
26:43Your beer?
26:44No!
26:44No!
26:45I know you've forgotten.
26:47Have you packed your dog in here?
26:52No!
27:05No!
27:06No!
27:08No!
27:09No!
27:09No!
27:10No!
27:10We've got it!
27:11And he's gone!
27:24Don't do this, mate.
27:25No!
27:29I just cooked that whole meal for you.
27:31No!
27:31You're being unbearable!
28:01What is the result?
28:01It's too good.
28:03I'm going to cook it!
28:04I'm going to cook it!
28:12At least I'm going to cook it up and cook it up.
28:13I look forward to making a little bit of like that!
28:14Now that I'm going to push it down, my friends...
28:28See, you're eating it.
28:32You know it's my job to teach you these things.
28:38What?
28:39Am I supposed to let you grow up thinking it's okay to reject food
28:43that your host has cooked for you?
28:45What kind of father would that make me?
28:51Seriously, what kind of father would that make me?
29:16Feel that?
29:29Sometimes they reckon if you eat ice...
29:31Oh, wow.
29:34Did you feel that?
29:35Yeah.
29:40I think his feet must be down there,
29:45which means he's moving.
29:47Oh.
29:48Oh, that big one.
29:50Oh, God, yeah.
29:58Okay.
30:02Nah, I'm in.
30:03I can't wait.
30:04Jimmy cannot wait.
30:08Can you stop that?
30:10What?
30:11I've had to come around so far.
30:15I don't know.
30:16I feel like it's an appropriate boner.
30:18I don't know, that's why I'm not going to get the rounds, but, yeah.
30:24Well, I'll probably come to yours in, like,
30:26an hour and a half, maybe.
30:28But I still got some stuff to pack in there and be all.
30:39So...
30:40Stretch seats.
30:42Yep.
30:44What's this stretch say?
30:49Okay, so...
30:50It's like...
30:51It's like it covers all his body.
30:55Yeah.
30:56Cold days.
30:57Bedtime.
31:04Boaties.
31:06Socks.
31:06What the fuck are booties?
31:07Shoes.
31:09Yeah, shoes.
31:11Let's call them shoes.
31:13He's got his big coat.
31:15What about his cashmere?
31:16Oh, shut up.
31:17What?
31:17He won't wear cashmere.
31:19He won't take clothes.
31:20He won't take my thermals.
31:22Of course he won't take your bloody thermals.
31:24He needs layers.
31:25Would you have worn your dad's thermals?
31:32People are like...
31:33Great.
31:34You're pregnant.
31:35Oh, my God.
31:36Now you can forget about it.
31:37Put all that behind you.
31:38Yeah, because it's easy.
31:40Shrug it off.
31:45We'll be sat here when we're icy.
31:46And we'll still be thinking about them.
31:57This is great.
31:58Oh, God.
31:59It's already set me up.
32:06Is that all the bacon?
32:09No.
32:24Yeah, Maya was like...
32:26It's going to be amazing.
32:29I just kind of nod and leave that smile.
32:34I know that smile.
32:35Yeah, it's great.
32:36You do that to me.
32:38Only when you're being boring.
32:42We don't know if he's going to be healthy or whatever when he comes out.
32:52What's he going to be like?
32:57What's he going to be like?
33:00Oil.
33:02Don't need it.
33:04The fat from the bacon...
33:06It quits in its own fat.
33:07Exactly.
33:11Eggs.
33:11Right, you've got three options.
33:14Fried, boiled, scrambled, poached.
33:17That's four.
33:25Mum!
33:27Mum!
33:28Lisa!
33:31There's no way of knowing who he's going to be.
33:41There's no way of knowing who he's going to be.
33:51I guess I'm worried about the birth itself.
33:55No, it's fine.
33:57I'm going to breathe through the pain.
34:00Hmm.
34:02Yeah.
34:06The pain can be quite extreme, though, can't it?
34:11Yes.
34:12Which is why I plan to breathe through it.
34:19God, it's also terrifying.
34:20I'm going to have to hold her hand.
34:23I'm going to sleep in a chair.
34:24Listen to her screaming.
34:26You've got earplugs.
34:29If it is so loud.
34:33We're not worried at all, are we?
34:35No, no.
34:36Easy.
34:37We like to keep it positive, don't we?
34:40Yeah, we're really positive people.
34:42Especially me.
35:04What are you doing here?
35:09Same as you, I reckon.
35:10I don't know, for your sake.
35:16Oh, careful of the pint, careful of the pint.
35:21It's been a while.
35:23Yeah, no, what's it been, like?
35:25A few months?
35:26More than a few.
35:27Well, time flies only having fun.
35:30Always having fun, mate.
35:31Always having fun.
35:35You look good, mate.
35:37Thanks for noticing.
35:39You noticing how I look now?
35:42Do I need to be worried?
35:43Oh, yeah, you do, actually.
35:45You need to be very worried.
35:46Uh-oh.
35:49Uh-oh's right.
35:57Happy birthday, mate.
35:58I can't do that.
35:58Yeah, you're all right.
35:59Happy birthday, mate.
36:00You're going to get in the night.
36:01That's fine.
36:03Yeah.
36:12So, how you been?
36:14You following me, man?
36:16Always following you.
36:17Like a bad smell.
36:19Yeah, I wonder what it was.
36:25How's everything with Amanda?
36:27And Olive?
36:29Olive, yeah.
36:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:32Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:33All good, mate.
36:34All good.
36:34It's all just, like, yeah, you know, photos.
36:43Great about your baby.
36:47Oh, yeah.
36:48Congratulations.
36:49Thanks, yeah.
36:50Is it?
36:51Congratulations, or?
36:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
36:53Great.
36:57I haven't really been telling anyone.
36:59No, that's great, mate.
37:01Didn't want to tempt fate.
37:02No, no.
37:03Matt mentioned it, and...
37:04Yeah.
37:05What have you done?
37:05All week.
37:07I know, right?
37:09Commiserations.
37:10Your life's over.
37:13Enjoy it while you can.
37:16Alex, sir.
37:18Yeah, can I have two?
37:23No, actually, we've been trying for a while.
37:26No bad thing.
37:29One way to get her to sleep with you.
37:42It's been a difficult time, to be honest, because we actually managed to get pregnant before.
37:52Yeah, can I get four pints?
37:54Do you want one?
37:55I'll get him.
37:56I'll get him.
37:56No, no, come on, I'll get him.
37:57No, I'll get him.
37:58No, come on, I'll get him.
37:59I'll get a man, a peroni.
38:01I'll get the next one.
38:02Five pints of peroni and a Guinness.
38:05Thanks.
38:06Thanks.
38:06No.
38:12So, you were trying and...
38:16Oh, yeah.
38:17Yeah.
38:20It's been tricky, really.
38:23Bit of a tricky time.
38:26And...
38:27We actually got pregnant three times previously.
38:31It's been tricky, but...
38:35Um...
38:36Yeah.
38:43Oh, right.
38:44Yeah.
38:48That must have been hard for Lisa.
38:52Yeah.
38:52That must have been really tough.
38:54Yeah, really tough.
38:56But she'll be all right.
38:57Yeah.
38:58Nah, of course.
38:59Yeah, she's a tough one.
39:01Scary woman.
39:05Thanks.
39:09At least it's all over now.
39:11You're going to have a baby, so...
39:13Mm.
39:15So...
39:16Yeah.
39:17Well, hopefully.
39:18Yeah.
39:19You can put it all behind you.
39:26I bet you were...
39:27You were strong, no, were you?
39:28Nothing can knock the big guy.
39:31No.
39:34No.
39:35Not really.
39:38I try to be, like...
39:40Positive and stuff.
39:42Be, like, a strong one, but...
39:45Yeah.
39:47They really work.
39:54I think you do something because it seems like, obviously, the right thing to do.
40:05And even though you've thought about it, and you've thought about it from, like, all the different angles that you
40:14think there is.
40:16It's...
40:17And it still just turns out to be a fucking catastrophe.
40:32It's fun, isn't it?
40:35Oh, yeah, it's great.
40:37I love it.
40:39LAUGHTER
40:49You're all right, mate?
40:51Yeah.
41:15There you are.
41:17Thanks.
41:18Thanks.
41:23A few more of these.
41:25Always.
41:42Yeah, he's nearly ready.
41:45Daniel!
41:45My dad!
41:49Come in.
41:50I'm good.
41:51It's cold.
41:52Come in.
41:53I'm good.
41:54Simon's out.
41:56I'm good.
41:58I'm good.
41:59What are you even doing up there?
42:05What can we see?
42:08What can we see on the bus?
42:16Very peaceful.
42:20How old?
42:23Fourteen months.
42:24Fourteen months.
42:24Amazing.
42:26I'm on my own, so...
42:29Tell me about it.
42:30I've got two.
42:31Two?
42:33And don't live with them, sadly.
42:35It's not my choice.
42:36Oh, that's really hard.
42:38Yeah, I miss them.
42:40I...
42:44So you're a single dad, then?
42:48If you want to know if I'm single, you can just ask me if I'm single.
42:52Sorry, I didn't mean that.
42:53Nah, I'm kidding.
42:59Let's go.
43:06Hey...
43:52Stephen.
43:53Stephen.
43:58Stephen.
44:01I think I'm having contractions.
44:05What?
44:06I'm having contractions.
44:11Fucking...
44:14Can you stop looking at me?
44:17I'm not looking at you.
44:18Yeah.
44:20Stop looking at me.
44:26Oh, God.
44:28I'm fine.
44:30Everyone is always overreacting at everything.
44:38People have been giving birth for thousands of years.
44:41They think it's going to be hard.
44:44So they make it hard.
44:46Whereas this is...
44:48It's a natural process.
44:50Yeah.
44:59It's ten minutes since the last one.
45:03Are you good?
45:07Yeah.
45:08I've got this.
45:09Have you got the car seat?
45:11I don't remember you're breathing.
45:14You don't have to remind me to breathe.
45:15Oh, God.
45:21I don't remember you.
45:29Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
45:32Yeah.
45:36They were every five minutes.
45:38Yeah, 60 seconds every five minutes.
45:40Well, now they've dropped it.
45:42Yeah, because of the car journey now about every eight minutes,
45:45and they are shorter.
45:47They've dropped to 45 seconds.
45:54What does that mean?
46:08I should have left them in the car.
46:11Yeah.
46:22Hi, sorry.
46:23My wife's having contractions in the corridor,
46:26and I was just wondering,
46:28is there any chance we're going to have in the room?
46:30She's Lisa.
46:31All my monkeys.
46:56Yeah, she's just stood having contractions in a corridor.
46:59Yeah, she's on the list,
47:01so when a delivery room becomes available,
47:03she will be given it.
47:03Yeah, I know, but she's literally a woman
47:04giving birth in a corridor.
47:06Yeah, I can't just magic a delivery room out my arse.
47:10Yeah, I'll say that.
47:16What do you say?
47:18Oh, yeah.
47:19You're great, actually.
47:20Any other standing?
47:28Okay.
47:29Okay.
47:31So, uh...
47:32Quix.
47:34Banana?
47:37I'm sorry.
47:39I might have a twilight in the twilight's.
47:41Did you play a twilight?
47:43Or a flake?
47:45You have to make a bit of a plan if you don't have a flake.
47:48Oh...
47:50Oh...
47:50Yep.
47:51Yep.
47:53Yep.
47:53Oh...
48:13I'll get your leaf ring.
48:28That was it.
48:31But what?
48:38What?
48:48Again?
48:50What?
48:52I don't know if
48:52what, but...
48:57The end of the day is the end of the day.
49:37I don't know.
50:18When you were small you made me feel so big
50:23I'd hold you close to me and sniff your cheeks
50:27And I loved it, I loved the smell of you
50:32When you were small
50:34Our mates gave up on us, we were drinking less
50:43So we could feed you and put you to bed
50:47Oh I loved it, I just loved it
50:51When you were small
50:57And you, you used to sleep on my chest
51:04A whole person on my chest
51:09And I could hear you breathe
51:16And you, you used to look at me
51:23Like there was something special about me
51:27Which there was
51:29When you were small
51:35But I am loved
51:38You will never remember
51:42The things that we did together
51:48When you were small
51:55Playing superheroes at five in the morning
52:01Building marble runs at dawn
52:14But you, you used to sleep on my chest
52:21A whole person on my chest
52:26And I could hear you breathe
52:33And you, you used to look at me
52:40Like there was something special about me
52:44Which there was
52:46Which there was
52:47When you were small
52:53So when you go out with your mates tonight
52:57And you feel messy after two pints
53:02But I'll be here
53:04Like I was here
53:06Like I was here
53:07When you were small
53:15So when I was little
53:21To the left
53:21So when I asked you
53:26Like I was about to babe
53:27Kid four reps
53:27About what did this
53:27But he said
53:30In the next one
53:31Look what I said
53:34You just put this
53:36You spoke about what you
53:37What did I say
53:37I came about
53:37When I said,
53:37haveWWAM It's
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